There Were Always In Me, Two Women…

Filed in Pisces

Anais Nin veiled

“There were always in me, two women at least, one woman desperate and bewildered, who felt she was drowning and another who would leap into a scene, as upon a stage, conceal her true emotions because they were weaknesses, helplessness, despair, and present to the world only a smile, an eagerness, curiosity, enthusiasm, interest.”

 

Just as Alejandro Jodorowsky is probably the most Aquarian Man in the world, Anais Nin wins the prize for most Piscean Woman. 

Pisceans, you relate?

More astro Anais here and here

 

 

Access Horoscopes, Insta-Tarot, Oracle & more

Join the thousands of happy Mega Mystic members, who are enjoying Mystic’s unique, modern and empowering take on the ancient art of horoscopes & all things Astrology. With an all-access membership

107
Leave a Reply

avatar
33 Comment threads
74 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
28 Comment authors
MysticAishah MacgillLux Interior is My Co-Pilotcatfish moonfish in a barrel Recent comment authors
newest oldest most voted
Aishah Macgill
Aishah Macgill

I haven’t read any of her works. Must be time- from one Piscean writer to another.

Aishah Macgill
Aishah Macgill

I can totally relate to the two people. One of me ‘knows’ and ‘feels’ so much. The other one of me denies what the other one ‘knows’ and ‘feels’. One is rational, one is by societies norms, irrational. After much to and fro, the knowing one always wins the day.

Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

Only two women? I’m more like a rotating cast of divas and desperadoes (Pisces rising)

catfish moon
catfish moon

No planets in Pisces BUT…..12th house moon and venus. ( I have a Kataka sun so moon is super personal).

and yes I relate. VERY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fish in a barrel
fish in a barrel

Ahhhh. Ms. Nin has always resonated with me…

Zaiborg
Zaiborg

Totally off thread but check Mystics facebook ‘like’ count!
As of 8:10 am:
You and 22,222 others!

sweetpea
sweetpea

The Soul has multidimensional perceptions and over all keeps track of all of them..Our perception (ego) is just the upper most crust so to speak…

We are many…Like a wise teacher once said to me about some experiences I had been having…

“You are exploring your majesty”…The Majesty being the many dimensions of self…

But I agree with Davey…In this “most upper crust self”, I’m a straight shooter but at heart and in reality, too many than I can count…

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

So true and excellent – exploring your majesty. In multiplicity is unity. We are majestic. I couldn’t relate to higher power while supposing myself to be it – some unknowable being managing a hierarchy of selves – none of them quite “me.” I learned about the other voices – aliens and angels and whatnot – when I learned to recognize my own. I spent a lot of time trying that out – turn each emotional event into another self to manage. Its mesmerizing bullshit. I didn’t see the majesty until I recognized all of it as myself, not some other… Read more »

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

Being able to feel, experience, and share emotions in a situation is infinitely more powerful than have a mask of a smile while romantisizing your own feelings as some Other. Very spiritually immature, IMHO. Women (and men) can be whole. Unfortunate she’s a model of brilliance. I do like her writing though.

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

I really could go in a rant here. You can’t feel a vulnerable other. You can feel vulnerable. and if you choose you can spin a fuqing tale about how that’s another and that tale telling is fine. Just remember its a fuqing story.

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

In other words, Own All Your Shiz?

Rant rant rant rant rant rant

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

Exactly! A very unpopular stance, I know. I wonder which one of her is responsible for pissing? Lol

Anonymous
Anonymous

Lol, that’s a fair comment. She can still be brilliant in her way I s’pose, at her level.
Lots of people don’t know how to approach their pain & fragment in the process of avoiding it. It’s good she names that, spiritually frustrating she doesn’t do anything useful with that pain.

Maybe the Piscean immature quality is to not know the difference between the dream and the story, the sublime and the ridiculous.

Andromeda
Andromeda

Soz, me, meant to say BUT spiritually frustrating that she doesn’t move towards wholeness, but seemingly further from it…

slatkavavoom
slatkavavoom

even this aries relates whole heartedly

molly bloom
molly bloom

just what i needed to see and read today. i totally relate

SeashellTeaRose
SeashellTeaRose

YES YES YES. OH SWEET NEPTUNE YES.

sereiasirena
sereiasirena

Yes, yes, yes. The two extremes live side by side, occasionally warring, sometimes willing co-conspirators, at times placidly existing in tandem. They each are true, which makes other people find us maddening–hot or cold, exuberant or withdrawn….the list goes on and on. And for me, this is unfortunate, as I enjoy sliding up and down the emotional spectrum, honoring each feeling with what feels it needs, and then letting it flow away…always has seemed a better approach than bottling it all up until something shakes it and a person spews like a volcano. Anais Nin also embodies the Piscean quality… Read more »

Fish lightly
Fish lightly

I identify more with Liz Taylor, lol, ha! But I read Nin’s diaries when I was in college and while her odd self-delusions etc resonated with me, I was disturbed deeply by her self-absorption and the only way I could get out of that was to shift attention to service to others; a very Pisces trait as well. She lied about her sign all the te too and said she was a Libra which I thought funny, that she fantasized about being more balanced. Years later I would play the role of Nin in a dance theater homage of her… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

keira kneightly would be great cast as a. nin …. if anyone wants to claim that idea as their own, and run with such a production, go forth

Pi
Pi

although the thing is with this quote is that there’s no room for actually just being OK with things , being wildly optimistic, sunny disposition, happy whatever etc. like one is fighting inner doom all the time. which isn’t the case.

Veronica
Veronica

yes, but those feelings probably don’t make for such interesting writing perhaps?

I know when I’m feeling just plain happy am not introspective enough to write for any length

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

This is like me from when i used to drink spirits.

There was also always in me a third women, who liked to pretend she was foreign and come on to strangers by boasting about her blowjob technique and then a fourth women who would tell filthy offensive jokes but then forget the punchline and start crapping on about how she was going to be doing yoga at sunrise from now on. The fifth would text needy whines to men in her contact list and the sixth could quote Simone de Beauvoir at length.

Anonymous
Anonymous

sounds like a fun tribe. sixith and third would’ve been great friends i imagine.

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

That’s right. Once there are 2 women, why not 20 or more

Réka
Réka

I think the question is.. Is there a woman who does NOT relate?

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

Yes. Me.

Domestic Triffid
Domestic Triffid

Also: Anais Nin pisses me off. I LOVE her writing, but her personal life has me looking down my nose at her every time. And not just because she shagged her Dad – because she’d shag anything that moved, no matter if that was one of her best friends, or best friends husbands, or whatever, leaving a trail of hurt and bewildered people behind her. Compare and contrast with Collette, who was a contemporary (and who more than cordially disliked her) – someone who also shagged anything which moved, and who had a wildly bohemian life, but who somehow managed… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

I think Nin was sexually abused by her father as a child……

Domestic Triffid
Domestic Triffid

Hmmmm…. the problem I have with that interpretation is that she had a florid affair with him later. She herself never suggested that they had had a sexual affair before then, although he certainly took nude photos of her as a child. The “sexual abuse” thing seems to be a interpretation of events, rather than something which actually took place. There is no doubt in my mind that her Father’s behaviour *was* abusive – taking nude photos while telling his daughter she was ugly is totally unconscionable; but given the warts-and-all nature of her diaries, surely she would have written… Read more »

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

The sexual abuse/love affair with the dad freaks me out.
I know a “dad” who bought his pre-teen daughter Anais Nin books to groom her. disgusting.
I do not want to judge AN life it sounds like she was abused as a child but did not want to openly admit it. 🙁

Andromeda
Andromeda

Yeah, it seems like she was trying to take the power back on her own terms as an adult – around her Saturn return?

Domestic Triffid
Domestic Triffid

Perhaps – but she openly admitted EVERYTHING else – including the affair with her Father as an adult – it would be strange for her to exclude something so momentous…

Anonymous
Anonymous

Maybe she blocked it?
Not entirely impossible?

Anonymous
Anonymous

Just because she didn’t mention it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Who knows how it damaged her and what impact it had on her as an adult? Maybe all her “bad” behaviour was a direct result of the abuse.

calypso
calypso

totally possible

AND damaged people damage people…

starlore
starlore

Anais Nin has always creeped me out but there is something vaguely fascinating about her too. The stuff with her dad in particular.
I came across this article on her which has some actual biographical details of her early life, the stuff that she does NOT write about in her ‘diaries’.
http://superworse.com/post/30934667026/on-keeping-a-liary-anais-nin-autobiography-and-the

Her mother divorced her father because he beat her up, and he insisted on taking nude photos of their three kids.
It is an interesting article and worth a read.

Anonymous
Anonymous

really fascinating!

Anonymous
Anonymous

Sounds like Collette had venus or sun in her 12th

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

Funny you’d say that. So do I. And the more Nin quotes I hear about her talking about her the more I more than cordially dislike her.

Charley
Charley

Not remotely Piscean but pretty much everything that came out of her mouth has been making me sigh with appreciation since I was about 13.

Veronica
Veronica

HI Charley! Yes I loved her work since I was a young girl, didn’t realise she was such a seedy character til much later….doesn’t affect my appreciation of her writing though

Veronica
Veronica

Have natal saturn and chiron in Pisces, directly opposed by tight mars pluto uranus in virgo, in 12th. I know I have felt, many times, that vulnerable bewildered self, (many weird situations, abandonment and obsessions, fears about money, I wrote it all down too) but it is hard now to remember the feelings clearly… In the last few few years it is ALL Aries, totally alert, ready to roll the dice and win. Must be the effect of Uranus electrifying my packed 7th house. The only thing i feel really deeply vulnerable about is animal rights, even then, makes me… Read more »

bravepoet
bravepoet

Yep!

clear and present
clear and present

um, yes…does pisces true node have anything to do with it perhaps?

Raché (Aqua/Tauri)
Raché (Aqua/Tauri)

Relate. Mercury-Jupiter in Pisces, errything in 12th and 8th house. <3 Anais.

Anonymous
Anonymous

This sounds typically scorpy to me

Sunday
Sunday

Only two? Glad she wrote ‘at least’. I’m constantly changing, sometimes elusive to myself.

Waterylibran
Waterylibran

That could be a photo of my Mum as a young woman, and yes, Mum is Picean.

davidl
davidl

Where are all the straight shooters ? All this multiple layer, double life, who am I today stuff really gets my goat at times.

ramm-madam dingdong
ramm-madam dingdong

.. ahem!
You’re looking at him!!?

pi
pi

well it’s not duplicitous. as such. but it’s why we appreciate the more consistent /stable signs in our lives, e.g. aries, toro, cap etc

Pi
Pi

i’d probably be more of a straight shootr if i wasn’t so worried about offending people or hurting their feelings or being clear about my own (contradictory) feelings. stupid feelings! ugh. why can’t we all be blunt and ignore yummy nuance and subtlety and the finer points of an obscure argument? why must we choose our words carefully and anticipate someone’s reactions and meet their invisible needs and offer sympathy? why on earth should we care? why can’t we be honest about what we want? why is what we want more important than what someone else wants? or as important?… Read more »

calypso
calypso

because the world is bent? it’s not straight, it’s messy. it’s simultaneous contradictions and it’s multiplicity and fluidity and as a pisces you are attuned to that 🙂

you could prob pull back on the worry about others though Pi, you have so much of it and it’s one of your lovely traits but don’t let us stifle you xx

Pi
Pi

yeah every now and then the Aries in me goes AH FUQ THIS and just gets on with it. I need more of those moments! x

Domestic Triffid
Domestic Triffid

Although, maybe its my Saggie sun, or my training as a Reference Librarian, but clear, concise communication wins the day, every time. Even if that communication is “I am very confused about my feelings right now”. I don’ t think its so much having to worry about every nuance of another’s feelings – THEY are responsible for their feelings, not you. Its more about thinking about an issue until you clearly understand what you feel and then communicating those feelings in a non-ambiguous way. Even if those feelings are ambiguous ie: “I feel very ambiguous about this relationship because a).… Read more »

Pi
Pi

It’s true! I know. I am not responsible for other people’s state of mind. I think being stuck at home is making me insane and it’s showing in my comments here :\

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

Hey, Pi: I know insane like the back of my hand, & I don’t see it in your comments. Could it be that big old gas bag Jupiter, making shiz appear bigger than it is? I don’t know. But you & your truth are beautiful, babe. x

Anonymous
Anonymous

Agree! 12hv

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

Agree totally.

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

Yes: love the absence of pretentiousness among Northern Europeans!

Reference librarian? Respect. x

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

I am often called a straight shooter. I often accidently offend w/o trying. It’s not easy.
But, my friends know where I stand with them.
My enemies hate me for it- and I get lots of hate mail.
It ain’t easy. Not sure it’s a great idea.

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

I really hate how society reinforces this type of subjective bs. THERE IS ONE YOU. Objectively. Whoever you are. The rest is a WHOLE load of over-thinking. It’s like the dumbest thing a person can say “I’m going to find myself.” What? You are you!! I mean, I get it and I’ve said it and I’m so glad I learned to be objective and get on with living.

Taurus
Taurus

couldn’t agree more

calypso
calypso

I couldn’t disagree more – what’s more, it’s like a vote for patriarchal scientific paradigms…

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

A vote for patriarchy? lol! I don’t know how you jumped there. Something I’ve never been accused of before. Kind of amazing.

calypso
calypso

the concept of objectivity is patriarchal

calypso
calypso

sorry, has historically served patriarchy

calypso
calypso

I think the issue is 12hv that what you are calling objectivity is actually your sense of subjectivity, which you conceive of as relatively singular. Fine, who am I to argue with that. ftr, I don’t much like or relate to the Nin quote either, but I get why other people do. Again, fine. I just don’t want to see your subjective sense of what’s bs called out in favour of another set of bs, particularly one which is more damaging from a feminist perspective, or to alternative feminist perspectives. Feeling heaps like a stright shooter. While I’m at it… Read more »

Pi
Pi

now that is true. XXX

Andromeda
Andromeda

I am really surprised that you say this as you are so good at connecting to your past life stories!
Story telling can be a great way of understanding or fine-tuning the psyche in a healing sense.
‘Parts Therapy’ is a really powerful tool for acknowledging the jostling, sometimes opposing thoughts within & would sound a lot like this?
I don’t understand how society promotes this either? In my experience more people stick to the objective fact of their separateness, their individuality in a soul sense, which is the opposite of shamanic thinking.

Fi
Fi

I’m with you, Andy. Ultimately it seems like 12th house’s objection boils down to a picky matter of semantics? ie the fact that Nin expressed HER inner complexity using the dramatic device of “two women’ rather than referring to different parts of herself or conflicting feelings and capacities within herself? Don’t really see that society promotes it at all, nor why it is such a dangerous thing to use whatever conceptual device clicks for us? Key thing is to own whatever inner complexity we have to deal with, and learn to function with it? Nin does say the two personalities… Read more »

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

Picky matter of semantics? Lol.

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

PS – 12th house Sun and Venus in Virgo, makes a yod with Jupiter in 6th house Pisces, Neptune 7 degrees off my NN in Sag. So, I’ve got a fair amount of the 6th-12th polarity myself, fwiw

Anonymous
Anonymous

My virgo bits are Uranus/ Pluto (not to mention Ceres, Juno, Vesta) in 10th opp pisces jup/chiron in 4th square 1st house Sun/Merc.
I have no sixth house planets at all…my other T square (Scorp, Leo, Aqua) is all 12th, 9th, 3rd. But sounds like you, too are doing the Neptune/Chiron transit on your Jupiter in Pisces? We must be born 12 years apart?

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

Yup. Getting past Chiron opposing Venus at 6 Virgo, Neptune up next. Ceres and Juno in Pisces too, flanking Jupiter. Vesta in Scorpio 2nd house. I’m of the Uranus and Pluto in Libra generation.

Fi
Fi

Ah, so you’re nearly doing Uranus opp Uranus too! Consolation with that is that it means you prob have best sex of your life to look forwardto… and it WILL come 🙂

Anonymous
Anonymous

Yeeessss!!!
Lol! My uranus is late libra.

davidl
davidl

Yes sure, ‘parts’ of , 2, however you choose to express it doesn’t matter.
There are those that seek to find and express consistency to themselves and others and those that express to themselves and others a multiplicity.
My problem is that in expressing multiplicity on purpose,
becomes a convenient way of giving with one hand and taking away with the other.
I look at it this way, some of us are trees and some of us are birds.

Andromeda
Andromeda

Multiplicity is so tricky! 😀 “Samkhya (oldest of the orthodox philosophical systems in Hinduism) regards the universe as consisting of two eternal realities: purusha and prakrti. The purushas (souls) are many, conscious and devoid of all qualities. They are the silent spectators of prakrti (matter or nature), which is composed of three gunas (dispositions): satva, rajas and tamas (steadiness, activity and dullness). When the equilibrium of the gunas is disturbed, the world order evolves. This disturbance is due to the proximity of Purusha and prakrti. Liberation (kaivalya), then, consists of the realisation of the difference between the two”. At least… Read more »

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

I liken it to Saturn and Jupiter in astrology – the expander and the contractor. Sufis call it the compassionate breath. There’s a specific geometric pattern they use to express it. Consider it an optical illusion. It isn’t so much that I have many selves, but I am reflected in everything. Quite personally and universally. Its beyond words. I don’t know if you are familiar with Adyoshanti (sp?) the American Buddhist. He was doing a talk and he was being self depricating and funny and said “I love to listen to myself talk.” But he paused to make the point… Read more »

Fi
Fi

I don’t disagree with that at all: I can’t bear people who use “I have this side x that isn’t the real me that you’ll have to forgive occasionally” type excuses for shitty treatment of friends family and lovers, or treat them inconsistently and confusingly and then expect to loved regardless, or constantly moan and groan and bring others down. I guess what I can relate to in this quote – even it sounds like Nin treated some people like crap in real life – is that she seems to be saying that one part of her wants to be… Read more »

Fi
Fi

that was a reply to your point, dave…but other responses came in between.

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

I breathe. That is an objective fact of my being. Very superficial, yes? Breathing – consciously or not – means in every moment of my life I am intimately connected to everything. And breathing happens, but I wouldn’t say it is subconscious. Its not hidden. I can focus on it if I want. So it is with past lives and other other things “subconscious.” We are infinitely One. Here I digress into zen sayings that say nothing. Social interactions are very difficult because people play as their own puppet. It isn’t hidden. Its social. May seem like a non sequiter,… Read more »

12th house virgo
12th house virgo
Anonymous
Anonymous

Ha! Its easy not to be on the same page re yr link, funny. In the end we are at both ends of this spectrum of multiplicity & oneness concurrently.To me all of this spectrum we are cocreating has value if approached the right way. Love the sound of yr Buddhist man, will have google ‘im. Too short a column here to write, but I have been working on this subject privately & I would say we create personalitieswith our thoughts, these personalities or flavours alter depending on the past life. So past life personas & subpersonalities are not different… Read more »

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

so jungian! i dig this! you are always you.

Anonymous
Anonymous

You like Jung?

Serenity
Serenity

I love it when guys chime in!! I think there’s another David on here too. Some of us are very simple. I’m a straight shooter. Don’t like to waste my time. That’s because I like to stay centered and at peace, not allowing crazy confused psycho energy to affect me. Having a centered teen daughter helps.

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

Two? I would’ve put it more at six or seven.

Miss Leo
Miss Leo

No, that’s a multi-conjunct Gemini

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

Touche 😉

Pi
Pi

sigh. urgh. *slumps* yes. right now, at least. how did you know? apart from my numerous comments detailing as much. but I am fighting my way out.. i was cleaning out under a bed the other day, the dustballs had become sentient I think. A thought popped into my head – “dust is sadness” Also I had an intense dream last night involving a jumbo jet. Every now and then I have a very powerful dream about being in or observing a plane that is barely under control or – in this case – totally out of control and moving… Read more »

quintile
quintile

*hugs* – yes the plane is probably ’embodied you’ and perhaps its about realising that some of the ‘drivers’ in your life, that are associated with your dad, are no longer valid. I would imagine the Amazing Piscean Scientist appears as a good sign of the kind of male energy you want in your life – I wouldn’t put too much weight on the receptivity of the character in THIS dream, prob just a little reminder by your unconscious that the actual man its modelled on, is not available.

Gemini 1001
Gemini 1001

I think every woman relates 🙂

Andromeda
Andromeda

Yes, me too.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Another Gemini agrees!

Ariel
Ariel

This Gem w/ Leo rising agrees to! At LEAST two.

Raregem2
Raregem2

Gem, w/ leo rising + pisces moon = at least five women in one.

zahra
zahra

This Gemini with Pisces rising concurs. Most definitely.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

yes, I agree.

Anonymous
Anonymous

She looks very Liz Taylor in that pic. Another Piscean, no?

Miss Leo
Miss Leo

Yes indeed!

ramm-madam dingdong
ramm-madam dingdong

.. there were always in me, three woman:

moon in sagg, super keen explorer, master escape artist
jupiter, in King Leo.nardo – thinks big, dives deep (8th house)
sun, venus & mercury in aries, loves being a warrior (in da house! .. 4th)
all grand trining each other .. sometimes makes me dizzy

Pisces? .. I’m yet to really know any.
I reckon I’d like ’em!

scalycat
scalycat

Sounds like a description of me, and I am a Leo – a twelfth house Leo sun – mind you.

Link
Link

Not necessary to be a Piscean, although I did do 30 years of unfathomable slog with a progressed Pisces Sun,and certainly Juno, Pallas, and BML conjunct in the 12th would concur. I am mot who I appear to be (even to myself,) but I can be whatever the situation demands.