When Your Media Handler Goes To The Bathroom

Michael Douglas smoking

Asked whether he now regretted his years of smoking and drinking, thought to be the cause of the disease, Douglas replied:
“No. Because without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV [human papillomavirus], which actually comes about from cunnilingus.”
Douglas, the husband of Catherine Zeta Jones, continued:
“I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer. And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.”

Michael Douglas talking to the Guardian.

So I don’t know about this:

Is this

(a) An implied boast about his sexual prowess, going down, presumable access to the Yoni of Catherine Zeta Jones?   (Scorpio Rising)

(b) A passive  aggressive attempt to deflect attention from his years of drinking & smoking? (Multiple Libra – Sun,  Neptune, Lilith, Venus, Mars)

(c) An attempt to power-guilt his son? (Mercury in Virgo)

or (d) A public service inspired attempt to be genuinely helpful in terms of raising HPV Awareness? (Saturn opposite his Capricorn Moon)


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Well, whatever the motivation, he successfully educated me. One more reason to vaccinate your daughters and sons against HPV>


ick, ick & ick… I’m going with (e)… (e) Really yucky & all of the above! It also further confirms for me, that i really can trust my ‘Male Libra’ radar. I’ve always found Michael Douglas to be the epitome of unappealing, repulsive even… & I find i have much the same reaction to all Libran men (no offense to any male Librans present). I’m a multiple Libra woman myself (Sun, Lilith, Mercury, Uranus, Pluto & MC) & have always been fascinated by this very obvious aversion to Libra Sun men. In contrast, most of my partners have had Libra… Read more »


Three things that I love about this post: THIS post, this dirty, scandalous post was on my sobriety birthday. (I was 2) The actor spewing this bile is not just a VETERAN of the industry, he’s a LIBRAN. (ie, where’s the tasteful repartee here, Dougface?) Finally: I don’t say innappropriate shit like this anymore. I’m not in the public eye- so it wouldn’t be posted anywhere if I did, but I don’t and my family and friends are very grateful for it. Way to go M.D., for making sure that EVERYONE knows you’ve had a whole lotta poos-ay in your… Read more »


Clearly, he needs to be murdered in his sleep. Lock it up Mike! (Meaning: his verbal diarrhea) Sure the family doesn’t appreciate any of the above. Whether he’s guilt tripping his son or calling out his wife for possible HPV or just in general being a weird asshole.


You know some journalists are very charming, intimate, accommodating.. You could forget that they are actually megaphones?
The word ‘cunnilingus’ carefully chosen, or the fact he breathes rarified air & thinks he is being cute by salaciously rolling the word around.

Either way, public service announcement would be a big call in this instance, especially as he denies saying it.

Let’s just call him an ACK-TORR indulging in some postcunnicancerverbilingual effusion. That’s a real thing I think.


Public service. Takes cajones to say such a thing.


How very rock-n-roll. Remember those glory days..love without consequence

Aishah Macgill

He is raising awareness. The majority of people on this planet are totally ignorant of this fact. Me thinks!


Poor Catherine, she’s too classy for this crassness (esp with all the subsequent memes about her apparently diseased private parts now going around the internet). With all the slutting around he’s done, I bet he was riddled with HPV long before he met her, and I bet he passed it on to her. I hope she has a strong immune system and gets regular smear tests.

What a fuqing wanker, I’d turn him into a eunuch if I were in her position.


Yep! She’s always been far too good for the likes of him!


I’m not much into Hollywood celebrity shit, but I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for Catherine.


it’s because she’s Welsh 🙂

and I agree, what a knob!

joie de vivre

all of the above me thinks

joie de vivre

(e) all of the above


he was probably just trying to pick up the journalist. some things never change…

clear and present

So he’s saying cunnilingus is both the cause and the cure? That it’s more manly perhaps, because he got throat cancer from his sexual prowess of oral sex to glorify his disease, whereas if he got it through just jerking off via contamination or just plain fuqing someone it would be otherwise deemed less okay?? Narcissistic yes, Oh I can’t wait to tell the boys who say, Nooo,… I didn’t have sex with her, I just ate her out so technically no sex so I can’t possibly have given you an STD, lol


Its e) an old guy who just doesn’t care anymore! Poor beautiful Catherine Zeta Jones. Not only embarrassing but means she’s at risk for cervical cancer, having HPV, and that’s another issue that should be addressed. Anyway, how many times did he plan on saying cunnilingus in that interview? That’s never an attractive word.


No – it doesn’t necessarily mean she gave it to him! He may well have given it to her!! And then I think, it does become pointless argument. HPV can be held in body for years and then make an appearance … long after initial contract.


I’d say B too. A narcissistic man out of touch with the times.


it’s all fun and ‘Gus until someone’s throat is on fire…

i say it’s got to do with B, redirection from his years of correlated binge drinking and the pollen sampling, which brought about a bit of regret and self fellating public service announcement.

i mean what is he saying there, you can get npv from oral, so sex is bad, but in the meantime keep having oral?

MD endorses oral to cure NPV.


funny but in taoism sexuality….. they not big on oral sex its more about using sex to bond with your lover so that it is based on LOVE .. I caught chlamydia from a evil capricorn ex who gave oral to his ex and then had the cheek to deny his did this. He not know i am intuitive and got a test months before he did this and it was Negative. Then he goes away with her and swears black and blue he not did anything. Where they stayed, i went there straight after she left and stayed with… Read more »


oops, didn’t see your choice D. I go with public service announcement too.

and this story just killed any daily horoscope awesome mate date ZZ action for me. i mean it’s been going all into biz anyways, but this just iced it for me. *zip it up

The Leo Socialite

What i also meant to say but posted too early is that i love libra women but libra males really give me the shits.



librans should never date each other. It’s all lovely until its time to decide where to have dinner.

Was tired of starving in my dinner dress waiting for him to make up his mind.


“…but libra males really give me the shits”…

Hear hear!!

God/dess, i’m so glad i’m not the only one!
They irritate the fuq out of me.

I had to air my issues re: this too, further down the page.

(So, soz everyone, for any un-Libran lack of etiquette & diplomacy).


tell me ladies, why? Cos I just met one and his Vesta is on my Venus…

Star inspired

Apologies for my ignorance calypso, but what are your Astro stats?…Dominant Astro signature. I’m certain that my aversion must be partly due to being so Libran myself. I also have some very punchy Astro (Venus in Scorp, Mars in Aqua, Sun conj Uranus, Pluto on the MC, etc) so my experience & perception of the Libran men I’ve had anything to do with, was that they were whiney, self pitying, wishy-washy, ineffectual, passive aggressive, etc. Again, I do stress that this is just my own experience & I am in no way suggesting that this is the ‘Gospel Truth’ re:… Read more »

The Leo Socialite

Poor Catherine – she has seemed so fragile of late. This would be the last straw. This to me indicates Divorce impending.

Having said that, Farrah Fawcett died of an hpv related issue, there should be more awareness around it. Gardisil, leaving aside the debate about the side effects – only protects against a few strains.


no go, gekko. no C, no F. it goes both ways.


Maybe he’s also just a dumb guy that says dumb things !


Yes, well thats a given… as he’s opened his mouth yet again & removed all doubt! 😉

Virgo Ellie

It is a marketing ploy. All of the actors / actresses are stepping out to cause controversial topics about health. Look at Angelina, now Michael.. come on! They need to be the center of attention right now.


yeah, but he’s got a lose a body part, or a swap. like get a tongue implant

made of anti stick kevlar


Giving the phrase “pitch a tent” a whole new meaning.


All of the above, but my first reaction to it was along the lines of ‘all that dick hitting the back of his throat….that casting couch is brutal.’
Hubby was speechless for a nano second.
Note – this is in no way meant as an anti same sex love statement.


Ahem… I wasn’t going to bring up cock sucking!


glad it wasn’t just me who thought it. 🙂




Word! All of the above. Sooo gross… Always thought he looked like a walking cadaver, now I know why: Scorpio rising.

fallen angel

MD was an admitted sex-addict for yonks, and maybe the cancer via the puss comment was a throwback to that identity/a retrospective on the consequences of his past. I also wonder if at his age he sort of wants people to know he’d been there and done all that..or all of them(?), hence is still a supremely sexual being.

He did later say that he stands by what he originally said years ago i.e. it was smoking and alcohol. However I guess the good thing is it actually started a discussion about contracting HPV via oral sex.


I’d say it’s far more likely he got it from smoking. Or loads of hetero unsafe sex.


well….Very interesting media management bouncing around this…It has made some good tweets..
Scot Frankie Boyle is concerned that these revelations mean they’re going to ban cunnilingus in pubs.


Hahaha. 😀


He’s great.
Reminds me of Bill Hicks more than just about anyone else Scorpy.
Gawd, the tragedy of that genius cut short still winds me up whenever I remember him.
Like Hunter S I guess…up there riding shotgun.


One of the stupider celeb statements out there at the moment. HPV Is sexually transmitted, but through any sexual contact not just cunnilingus. Maybe he’s trying to get out of it? Also extremely vulgar and does smack of bragging. Always wondered how he managed to get CZJ.

Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

That’s what I thought…it’s sexually transmitted, but not from oral sex alone. I hope he was joking, that’s all.

electric eel libran

he was very choosy with his words which is why i think it sounds braggy. i notice he said cunnilingus and not oral sex which is not gender specific. Plus even mentioning it automagically shifts him as someone who is “giving” vs. “taking”, like he’s generous or something.

also everyone is ASSUMING he must have gotten it off of czj, but i notice he just says he doesn’t want to discuss it so he may have gotten it from another source that is even more embarrassing,,,,

Jen Scorpio

Do you think cunnilingus could be classified as one of those onomatopoeic words? I mean, who seriously has ever had to look up the meaning of this word in the dictionary?

aqua lion

no, it’s latin — lingus = tongue, cun = you can guess


Here’s a bit on the latest research on the link.


Suspect it was indeed (e), all of the above. But hpv can be an independent cause of throat cancer in non-smokers and non-drinkers too, apparently.


Whatever it is, it made me laugh. Amen to that!


He then retracted this statement. I wonder about oral sex. I’m beginning to form the view that the blow job merely reaffirms the lowly status of women in our society. Hmm. Pushing it up hill with this one I realise. I can do without spittle in my urethra too- frankly.


ahhh Link you’re cracking me up! 😀


e) all of the above. while hpv 16 and 18 are s3x transmitted viruses (which girls are now immunise against) all the other factors are supportive of a virus developing into cancer. Its too complex to point the finger at one factor. As to the cure being C…who knows? sounds a bit homoepathic if he wasn’t actually joking


Maybe doing the Libbie movie brought him out on this…Heard if you use saran wrap as a barrier its a help

Scorp Inc.

As a scorpio woman, if he was my husband & made this kind of public reference to my private goddess bits, I would kill him myself. With my vagina.


Right on!


Why kill yourself? I’d have punched him clean THROUGH a wall

so, not years of getting wasted? but an STD no one has heard of he got off his then?wife, charming. Yes tell everyone.



Ahhh. Sleepy eyes. I was going to say, a scorp would kill them for a breach of trust. Nothing worse than dating/loving/marrying a loudmouth with your secrets

The Star Scorpio

Amen. I’d tie him up……. and leave him.


HPV is the wart virus – causes cervical cancer – probable that it could cause throat cancer as well …


There is in the original newspaper article reference to scientific research exploring the link between HPV, throat cancer, and the way it may be transmitted I.e. via oral sex. So it’s not out of the question. But it is kinda wierd how he plays down the partying, drinking and smoking stuff. I think the same doctor who commented in the newspaper piece said higher risk factors for throat cancer are smoking and drinking, but that HPV could play a smaller role. Think Mr Douglas is just having a bit of a brag


I agree & yet i do detect quite a bit of spite among the bragging… More obviously aimed toward the son, but also a little more subversively it seems toward CZJ (perhaps among others)… non?!

Scorp Inc.

Yes, you make literally a valid point. But I meant that my vagina would sprout arms and strangle him. No telling what kind of riot might ensue! Stranger things have happened.

Jen Scorpio

He’d want to be very very good at it. Just one whiff of him nibbling like a rabbit and all this great word of mouth is out the window.




“kill him with my vagina”, genius!


My wife is prettier than Angelina Jolie. This should win me some brownie points with the wife and polish my media attention seeking balls. #glossyballs


A name to consider here: Sharon Stone.


lol S


this is such a saturn in scorpio thing to say 😉


Found this poem on a Mystic blog entry from 2011, not sure if it has much to do with this blog entry per se but I just needed to share it all of a sudden ! p.s. I like Michael Douglas’s work and his wife’s acting chops as well. Maybe his weird oral confession will prove to have some medical merit in the future, who knows. Catechism for a Witch’s Child” When they ask to see your gods show them lines drawn delicately with veins on the underside of a bird’s wing tell them you believe in giant sycamores mottled… Read more »

Scorp Inc.


colleen o'brien

Sounds refreshingly honest to me……and about time, why would he need to boast that via his sexual activities he has contracted a virus that will more than likely kill him…..surely no one could be considered that shallow…..and I have to say I support and agree with his assessment and argument…..


I agree 100% here, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar……..

electric eel libran

lol! i think he’s boasting sexual prowess…. much like sting’s fabled tanric sex thing that got blown out of proportion in the media. It’s quite possible he picked up hpv before his current partner too.


I think he was taking the piss because he’s sick of stupid questions & he just likes Welsh Rarebit….

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