Down Neptune Avenue

Girl jumping with cat television vintage

So what else is there to do on a Dark Moon day with Neptune going Retro but to savagely complete tasks, declutter and leap for joy at the insane psychic clarity now flooding your every synapse?

Knowing that Mercury is entering Shadowzone of a particularly barmy Retro, you pull back from even the most tempting big new deal/tech purchase/stupid irrelevant crush and re-commit to an unbelievable degree of competence, uber-health etc. Slack off when Pluto gets to Aquarius. I’m only half-joking with this.

If you’re a member/subscriber/supporter of mine, please ensure you read the Daily Mystic email for the long weekend, as it has a more detailed set of suggestions for maxing out this astro-weirding.

I’ve been forced by my sugar detox to rest my voice – imagine how hellish that is for a Mercury in Aries person?! – and who knew that getting sugar out of your system would result in such a blow-out?  Astral DNAs – the mp3 birth chart recordings – are a day behind so i can get my voice back. I don’t want to rasp at peeps like Voldemorte.  Or do I? (Cue evil snicker)

Another weird thing: When you kick sugar, you suddenly don’t want other forms of merde food. Eg; Potato crisps. It’s like in a thriller, when you take out the head baddie, all the other villains also perish.  And I was not (i thought) a massive sucrose-head but (scary insight) whenever i don’t drink wine for weeks at a time or whatever, stuff such as white chocolate and sweets of one’s childhood suddenly look more appealing. But it’s not like your bod/liver/hormones get that you’re only eating licorice allsorts ironically lol.

This could be basically a lifetime habit leaving now – and they say also that sugar acts as a kind of sugary fake goo-goo therapist, muffling feelings. So now wonder i am talking like Voldemort and feeling like a centaur kicked me in the head lol.  Sugar is a parasitical Qi Vampire relationship and i am ending it.  No relationship with a Qi Vampire ends easily. They’re like candida or threadworms. The medicine is bitter. The goodbye is unpleasant.  But life without them? So utterly worth it.

Enjoy the Moon of Letting Go…and, what are you letting go of?


Image: Helmut Newton

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160 thoughts on “Down Neptune Avenue

  1. I got up and did yoga this morning. I feel like a human being again 😀 – that post by Cattiva in Dark Moon Tripping made me go “Woah ! YES I can do this !!!!”

    Also, something which I have been thinking about a lot and which Davidl brought up in the last post about carbs and sugar and body image: the intersting thing about the LCHF, Paleo, no wheat, 5:2 fasting etc crowd is that they fall into three distinct groups –

    1) Grinders and bodyhackers – young people, mostly men, in their 20s and 30s looking for physical perfection, or as a complement to their already-alpha lives
    2) Boomers for whom old age is bringing aches and pains, looking for immortality; or at least relief from incipient arthritis
    3) Broken middle-aged women – women like me who have complex, layered hormonal issues, thyroid problems, adrenal fatigue, fibromyalgia, PCOS, autoimmune issues, metabolic syndrome, insulin resistance and too damn much on their plates….

    For women like me, particularly (I think someone in the previous thread described us as old bags, with too many saddle bags ?!) the ultra-fluffy HAES approach just doesn’t work because eating processed crap, sugar, too many carbs or wheat products is *actually killing us*. We’re not doing it to look good in a bikini, we’re doing it in order to cope, or at the very least survive.

    Dealing with all of this brings grief, and I think that’s what I have finally let go of:

    That I will NEVER eat “normally” if I want to function. At all.

    That despite this, I will NEVER be thin, or even much thinner.

    …but I will….

    Be able to function

    ..and I do feel clearer just knowing and accepting this. That no matter how much I like the common sense approach of HAES, that it just doesn’t and can’t work for me. I can still follow the principles of not defining myself by my body, or allowing others to do so; exercising for pleasure, not weight loss, etc etc; but all the stuff about eating what you want, even mindfully, leaves me such a wreck physically that its just not worth it.

    …. Oh, I’ve also discovered that when I don’t drink I notice how unhappy I am with certain aspects of my life; and the fact that I resort to fantasy and drink to cope with that unhappiness….. next move – lose the booze and deal with unhappiness. Watch this space…..

    • Chronic digestive disorder and energy issues here. The official scary symptoms and disgnosis for the digestion side of the issues happened at 23 (Saturn in 6th transit). More and more women are having these same comorbid issues fairly young!

      • My opinion is, it’s the food chain. Think very few of us have robust enough DNA to handle the current food supply without suffering consequences down the line. Not surprised at the emergence of young people with serious digestive and energy challenges.

    • Actually some top Paleo female experts have said despite overwhelming ads you see, that Paleo will NOT get you into model thinness. You will only get into optimal shape for your body type, which for most women is a far cry bigger than they wish to look.

      • Ah! A bunch of 20-somethings at my work are getting into Paleo and have been asking me tons of questions this week.

        I’d like to add that another enthusiastic group for the Paleo lifestyle are ex-athletes of all ages (i.e. ‘primal’ champion Mark Sisson). In my case, I’ve seen a fair number of former roller girls in their early/mid 30s (myself included) turn to Paleo to get back in shape (usually in conjunction with CrossFit, tho I haven’t taken that up… yet). Nothing motivates like coming across some old sport photos and realizing you have strayed far from your top physical form! A good example of this group is ex-derby girl Melicious, who wrote the Well Fed paleo cookbook (great recipes) & blogs @

        Echoing Electric Eel’s post above, it’s so awesome to see women in the Paleo scene talking about body issues because it’s not a quick-fix diet (plus, it’s always beneficial to get women talking about being healthy and enjoying their bodies rather than obsessing purely over skinniness). While I no longer follow the Paleo dietary guidelines strictly, I can say even 75% adherence + moderate exercise will keep ‘extra’ weight off, though I still have all my curves (thank god!) and have kicked intense, snacky grain cravings.

        Strong, healthy body > being skinny for the sake of it.

  2. So true! When i quit sugar i don’t crave coffee, and vice versa. But you just cannot sustain crap conversations / time wasting banalities. It really is a ‘cushion’ we use to get through crap. You have to be more selective of what you spend your time and energy on without it.
    I tell you what, your skin will look amazing…

    • Oh wow regarding skin and coffee – I just bought a nespresso machine and I love it but skin has turned to shit! I put it down to cold weather (just winter where I am)

  3. Giving up ? Nah, I’m just sauntering down Neptune alley, standing out the front of Hootchy’s. I like it here, no need to rush. No hurry to get back on the Saturn turnpike, it’s peak hour, everyone going away for the long weekend.

  4. Ah, wow, yes…. now the whole day makes sense.
    Also: re the sugar: good for you! I’ve been off it almost entirely for quite a while now. Caffeine, too. I don’t know which was harder initially but I usually think that caffeine was entirely more profound a revelation to recover from -for me. (You can still have espresso just stick to decaf and maybe once a week rather than once a day or more.)

  5. I’m on sick leave! Whoo! Feeling drowsy from medication at the moment but this morning I desperately wanted to get into work and was communicating with my colleague who’ll be covering for me. Then I thought back to everything the office people ever said about being sick and resting and I thought, it’ll be fine.

    This is the first time I’m taking sick leave since I started work since last year. I’m giving up that I am indispensable. It’s just work. I keep thinking, if I’m the back-up for everyone, who will back me up? But it’ll be fine. I can rest, take a day off, sleep, the world will keep running.

    When you say “competence” Mystic, I think that being responsible for my health is being competent. I was so caught up with being competent at work that I forgot about myself. Thank you.

    • ditto, to that. My goal as well. Also decluttering drama and crazy folks who create it.

  6. So. Fuqing. Grumpy. Feel like I have killer PMT, but finished bleeding yesterday. Eating chocolate (only 2 squares but STILL), drinking tea rather than coffee, ready to slap someone. Keeping myself to myself, though. Bring on the New Moon.

  7. Cleaning, sorting, de-cluttering? Noooo… Still in taurus dark moon (for half of the day anyway) and pre-menstrual, this taurus was still thinking about food (made roast pumpkin soup for lunch, and prepared the rice for fried rice tonight), and totally indulged myself with reading a book by the fire, listening to my fave music and dragging my arse off to do yoga (which I felt so much better for). That was the morning…this afternoon has a different vibe, not as cushy, so let’s see…

  8. Compulsive addictive behavior. Learning to say no to the petulant childish voice in my head. Indulgence is one thing…

  9. Whoa totally went through all my email accounts and have zero inboxes! Successfully unsubscribed to countless email campaigns and even organised my Feedly account into coherent “themes.”

    Appears the thai massage from yesterday is helping me to release other bent up emotions and feelings of uncertainty about the future based on my past.

    Consciously letting go.
    Consciously choosing what I consume mentally, emotionally, physically.

    It’s not always easy but it’s worth it.

  10. I will join you in sugar detox solidarity MM! Lately I have fallen off my fructose-free bandwagon and have been medicating my married-lover-frayed nerves with chocolate. Decided to give up both my married lover and the chocky. Well, I have lovingly let him know I will see him on the other side of his divorce or not at all. Chocky & I, on the other hand, are over for good. I love my skin too much for this crap. Xx

  11. This is the one month anniversary of no sugar for a 30 year deep love affair. I remember Robert Downey Jr. in an interview lament that drugs are like that really hot chick with which you had that hot affair and instead of remembering how great her pussy was its better to remember how she tried once to cut your throat. That’s my relationship with sugar now. And like MM I can barely drink wine, (thats all I drink) can’t seem to eat anything too bad now. Psycho maybe? but once you take the big evil out all the minions go away too. Sure everything in moderation…… especially moderation was my motto for so long. But Michael Pollan, great author interviews many ag growers in his books about local ag and foodie porn. And one such grower of corn admits that government, at least the US govt. subsidies corn growers and the like because in order to keep ag business growing rather than leveling out is to make people fatter so that they can consume more calories. Evil. Business. Rationalization, Highest obesity in history, Ignorance, weakness, whatever. At some point you just choose to evolve out of the consumer, addictive, mass conscious okayness, conditioned, glazed-over gluttony of it and deal with your life.

  12. Ihow did you know I was craving liquorice allsorts?

    Quitting sugar is easy: what I really want to let go of is chronic shyness. I literally ran away from my crush today. I don’t think a neptune transit is going to do this for me however. Sigh 🙁

    • I am craving liquorice all sorts too!
      Ran in the opposite direction of a Ye Olde Lolly Shop yesterday.

      As for shyness.. Do realise others might miss your shining light when you keep it hidden?! You are so shiny! Love yourself publically, 🙂 . (in a ahem, a wholesome way).

        • Actually I could say, “who needs lollies with sweet comments like this?” 🙂

          • Hi Pi, was me above.. and hey Pi’s Self Esteem – break a glass ceiling!

            • thanks andromeda 🙂 xx think i am going to maybe get some kind of help re this. it’s ridiculous. and SO unhelpful! lol.

              • I have had running away from crushes for decades. You must tackle as it doesn’t go away just because you’ve turned 40.

                • yep. yesterday i had a major crisis of confidence / crunch time re some personal insights, self sabotage. I feel like if I can unlock this, I will be able to transform some very unhealthy (and non-adult) lifelong patterns. astrologically, I think it might be related to how and where saturn, pluto and uranus relate in my chart, most particularly pluto on my IC

    • Also ftr, I don’t regularly eat sweets, cake, chips, biscuits, junk. That stuff is never in my pantry. So it’s an aberration if I want kilos of the stuff.

      My lesson recently has been to go MORE easy on myself. The saturn turnpike fuqs up my soul and ability to listen to my heart. I live on saturn street as it is, thanks to cap moon, so I quite like visiting cafe jupiter or venus avenue.

      He is a new crush. But rarely seen. Stupid definitely not. Irrelevant, is that even relevant? I don’t know. I am not google stalking the poor creature. But wham such moments shine a floodlight on my self esteem STILL! I can take care of the practicalities of living (eat right etc) but I think now it’s time to deal with how I do Love. Cringe.

      • We live in the same street!! 🙂
        I like hanging out at Gemini cafe 😀

          • Saturn Street! Love it:)

            I share that Cap Moon. You pegged it!

            (maybe make your self-esteem/shyness one of your life goals, then you will go after it relentlessly like a good cappie:) and are bound to conquer it–I say–go for it–you deserve more time at Jupiter Cafe)

  13. Not giving up anything! Not even feeling the dark moon at all.
    Going on third date this week with the Katakan guy. Can’t even remember when I last saw someone that many times in one week!! Very young at heart for a 42 yr old and so much fun! Must be his Moon/Venus conj Leo… Progressed Pisces Asc? Cancer’s do have a wicked sense of humour though… Ricky Gervais, Robin Williams spring to mind.

    Just going with the Neptune flow for now (progressed Pisces rising) even though it’s all moving a bit too fast for my Saggo moon’s liking. We like to keep things casual. Otherwise the horse may bolt! Hehe 🙂

    • Nice work Scorpbot!
      From reading the other thread, I think horses like a lump of sugar?? 🙂

        • Woot! Way to go Scorpy! 🙂

          A good crab is a keeper – loyal, loving and intuitive. Good for scorp that needs a bit o’ lovin 😉

          • 🙂 yep… all that. Great listener too… and talker – which my Saggo moon / Gem NN loves.

            6′ 3″ use to be a gymnast.:D

            Ok… I shut up now

            • Sounds great Scorpbot! Sun/Moon compat and younger men are like catnip 🙂

  14. After two nights of succumbing to a hooch lapse I have fessed up to the supplier of said substance (new neighbour) that I can’t have it anymore and she is not to offer it to me. She was understanding. I don’t want to lose my hard-earned changes of the year.

    • Busted last Sat night Jicky…
      Katakan Uncle and I had both been dreaming of hooch the night before, so when the opportunity arose you couldnt see us for dust !
      … But oh how i love it..
      Onwards and Upwards .. Respect to you for fessing up and asking for help (with neighbour not offering) x

      • Haha. Greetings to you Cosmic Fleece. I was wondering whether you had lapsed or not. I kept imagining people who would be disappointed with me. I watched RB last night and wondered how he manages to stay straight in that environment. Thanks for sharing, I better get me to a counsellor next week for some resolve …x

  15. 1) My dream man that makes me zombieish and is my Qi Vampire
    2) My PhD
    3) 5 (ahem 10) years of student life
    4) Low feelings of self worth!

    Hehee it should be a breezy weekend then 🙂


    • Wow that’s a lot of letting go… kudos to you.
      Can I ask are you quitting your PhD? I ask because I have a feeling I’m going to choose not to finish mine.

      • Hi Chrysalis,
        Thanks! No, im just letting it go. Im going to finish it to the best of my ability and submit it. No more thinking about it or fighting it :0. I have nearly finished but it has taken time and im not sure if it is my best material!

        Are you nearly done? Can you say goodbye to it easily? I dont think quitting it is bad, if your mind, heart or soul has moved on 🙂

    • I think that being a student in an antiquated formal educational system is stifling and prone to being manic. I have four more months left and I am counting it down! It’s been very hard to separate myself from the marks given and not taking it personally. Finally, I think I have gotten it. It’s my journey, it’s my process and that’s why I’m doing it.

      With all that said… if you are that close, near the doorstep of success… to finishing your PhD, finish it. You say you don’t think it’s your “best” but you have done it, so moreorless, it has been your best at the time, and that is totally OKAY. 🙂

      Best of luck to you!

  16. Giving Up:
    1) Inebriation
    2) Love Zombie-hood
    3) Worrying

    1) Beauty regimes I’ve seriously slacked on
    2) Cleaning my tiny apartment
    3) Grocery shopping
    4) Planning for tomorrow, but marrying nothing

    Still To Do:
    1) catch up on bookkeeping

  17. Have let go the love zombie tendencies and all the foods (sugar/ carbs) that have for years fuqued with my awesome. A few months back – after applying for a place in a PhD program found myself in a sugar fugue, carbo fuelled drooling mess on a couch with no an iota of brain function crying WTF. Put myself on keto the next day and within 2 days had brain function, no fatigue – energy even! Lost 6 kg in 6 weeks. Got into the PhD – finally let go of the ex with freedom in my heart and sent him the binaural beats to assist both of us on our respective ways.

    Choc coconut butter is now my best easy treat (ramps up the fat ratio and stops me feeling deprived.) Am amazed at how the sugar/carb thing has likely been the biggest part of hte problem all along – even though I was eating ‘proper’ good organic food and no processed junk – sad not to be vego from an ethical/sustainability perspective but hey – I rarely fly and remain car less and have let go the guilt about animals as food because I am functional again for the first time in many years

  18. day one of not running into woolies and stuffing down chocolate! yay liberation and feel relieved. Saw a past vamp q thief who is going out with this older hippie guy and thinks she is just so hot. She saw that i was sitting down and i could just see right thru her that she wanted me to see her, to see her stupid smug face. Who cares if your fucking some older dude yuk.
    Went to the beach and there was a drumming circle and a guy i knew helped me a lot to remind me about buddhism and letting all these toxic emotions go. He not my type but it felt good to be hugged and understood. a psychic told me when i was 17 that i get on better with men. and i love woman as friends but i have to admit, men are more loving and not this competitive crap goes on. i feel loved tonite.

  19. I’d love to be working my Astro but I am just tuning into the insights and they are all over the place.
    I was awoken at 2am by the sound of a man repeating my name. He had a nice voice but was saying my name repeatedly and changing the vowel sounds in my name. It was a voice beyond my consciousness and not imagined.
    My mother told me she had a dream about me. In her dream I was a 4 year old and a snake (with fabric or flakey skin) had latched onto me and a black velvet Panther was next to me. She was trying to help me because I’d fallen into a pit or underground cave system. I was very brave she told me. It was a nightmare for her.
    Thank you world for delivery me a time machine kinda day with a revolving door. I happened to run into a beautiful creative person I went to high school with. It was almost 20 years since we had seen each other.
    My day was filled with felines everywhere I turned. Even one in a music store and I could tell Primus was so not his cuppa tea.

    • Really like yr last line re the feline, Primus so not his cup of tea, lol.

  20. Even though my ex was really terrible for me, I still missed him, got teary about him from time to time, etc. Today I went through emails from years ago when I first found out he was cheating and read my friends’ comments about it all and realised all of that missing him stuff should or could go. Enough! Also decided to let go and break the lease on my flat too. Feel quite clear about it all and relieved now. Phew!

  21. Gem’s birthday this week so I took a week off the no grains/dairy/sugar HOLY motherofgod do I hurt.
    Brain fog, headaches, churning stomach, irritability, craving cigarettes (wtf, been abstinent for five years?) and I feel a bit jerky & epileptic again after one week!

    Do you know one in four children with autism develop epilepsy? My autie son is staying on this diet for sure after this experience, if I feel like this after a week, it is definitely a good preventative.

    Well I know what I don’t want on this dark moon at any rate: all of the above symptoms!

  22. Hey mm…. Hope you feel better soon… I’ve felt crap for two weeks and have not stopped sugar yet, have been planning it however, so stoked you’re talking about it mm… And a link you gave was rad…. I had an insight today about yoga, that was good, otherwise ive been battling the miserableness that comes w feeling sick and not being able to do everything… So yes mm I really do feel for you not being able to talk…

  23. I kicked sugar, refined carbs and processed food Mid January – have now lost 18kgs skin glowing clear headed and I feel incredibly together when I follow this to the letter –

    I’ve found it takes about 4-5 days to really get back into feeling great after having sugar and when I have sugar particularly alcohol I now get anxious and a very very sickly hangover – so much so, it’s just easier to say no to it. However I do have fruit everyday (berries, green apple, or a small pear – not really sugary fruit) and a small frozen banana once a week for desert is amazing!

    After years of yoyo dieting of every kind with every diet/diet organisation/gym/trainer etc the secret for me is simple – no processed food, good vegetable based carbs and protein and good fat of some kind at every meal this totally evens out food cravings I feel satisfied alert and not even like I am on a diet.

    • I unintentionally gave up booze. The hangover from just one drink was way too much. Feel much better since, I did.
      congrats on your progress/success!

  24. i went on a punctuation diet and decided to remove all punctuation from my typing except for spaces i have saved minutes off my daily correspondence each day and i can get so much more done now

    i also never have to worry about being corrected for having apostrophes in the wrong place or too many commas but i do miss the subtlety of a semicolon once in a while or a for that matter the odd hyphen

    my life has changed forever and while it is hard for my friends at times they realise that i am happier and more productive than i have ever been i cant recommend a punctuation detox more highly

  25. Giving up this new relationship I was excited about — his startup got funded, he’s moving to LA, and I am so NOT doing long distance ever again after my nightmare with my ex. So I wished him good luck, laid out my bottom line, and said I needed to emotionally detach now before I got further invested and then hurt. I was so grownup and rational about it that it shocked me. I was starting to have real feelings and still am wild about him, but…

    Spending today architecting my *official* new moon Don’t Do List. The idea is that by outlining what we will not do we are moved to what we should be doing…

  26. I’m not giving up anything. I am smoking again. It makes me feel like shit. I am reading Easyway with the intention to finish it and quit again. Got to keep trying.

    I had a dream that I was in a shoe store and there was a clearance sale and I found a great deal but the two pairs left were too small or too big for me. That’s how my life feels right now. Going to clean my house tonight.

    • have you tried e-cigs to step yourself down? I’ve seen success with clients who use those as a way to ween off.

      • I quit for years using Easyway before, so I am going to try that. If that fails, I’ll try e-cigs. I just have to quit. ugh.

        • 12HV take it easy on yourself. For me attending a First Aid training course was the “lightbulb moment”, a very animated trainer. Try and remember the first reason you started smoking. For me it was to turn the tables on my high school bullies. When I am triggered now to need a cigarette, I pause and self distract. I let the moment run, write about – sip some water or pop a rescue remedy pastille. The wiring and neuron goat track, can take time but it does work. For now enjoy each cigarette and unpack your smoking memories. Good luck and take care 🙂

    • I heard the number one thing to help people quit is just jogging regularly, you use your lungs and smoking suddenly seems gross, no one advertises it though because it doesnt make anyone money, I dont know the reality of it though, good luck 12hv

      • not being able to breathe well while swimming laps did it for me. then i got some help from an energy worker – let me know if you’re interested 12hv. sorry to hear that you’re feeling shit about it but sure that’s a good thing for the big picture objective xx

    • Gemini new moon is perfect time of the year to set the intention to stop. When I did Easyway, I made a rule for myself that I could smoke as much as I wanted without beating myself up – but I had to read a few more pages of the book while I was smoking each cigarette – there was no way I could get my fix and keep playing mind games with myself doing it that way. By the time I got to the end of it, I couldn’t fuqing wait to stop.

  27. Declutter is on my agenda! So.. I have boxes and boxes of books. I want to take them out. I don’t have a book case yet and I don’t have the money to buy one. I have a huge food pantry with doors. If I move the kitchen / food items to one side and use the other side as a book case.. what does anyone think. It would free up a closet, make room for more organization and it would free my mind.

    Survey says?


    • I am feng shuing my bed room and garden. De littering everything, trying to follow the feng shui basics without buying too much stuff. Hoping it will change my career and romance prospects.

      • Isn’t it fun to do? It’s all about placement and how you feel about it. Bedroom.. don’t put any mirrors, Put pictures of couples or romance, no family pictures or work stuff. No TV, computer and keep under your bed clear! Pink quartz, pairs of manderin ducks are good. Are you familiar with About Feng Shui… here is a link: AND Mystic has a Feng Shui mistress. I hear she is fabulous!

        What are you planning?

  28. Not committing to giving up anything as that will likely set me up for failure. But I am going to stay off the cigarettes, alcohol and chocolate for a few days and up the water, vegies, meditation and sleep. I need to be physically and mentally well enough to stop being such a fuqing LZ all the time with my trans continental ex.

  29. pffffth! Saturn turnpike is for n00bs. I moved into Saturn City. It’s smack on my Saturn line when i look at astrocartography maps.

    • can you teach me how to make that face Baristagem does with the googly eyes?

      • I don’t know if it’s a good idea to stay there. I’ve been here for nearly 20 yrs. It’s good for career dev. but not much else. Love dept. blows for sure.

        • that’s what I’m thinking! i guess some people might like to live with Saturn but yeah, nah.

  30. I deleted my Aries ex from my life, finally. 17 years of chi vampirism, emotional manipulation and a metric ton if sadness. Gone. I’ve been feeling progressively more amazing, self esteem is intoxicating.

    Sugar is a bitch. I’m an addict in recovery. Every day is a struggle but the pay off IS worth it. I feel so, so bad when I have it now, for days! It’s very much poison, for me at least. Not fruit sugars and some alcohol, need some joy but cane sugar and hi GI foods gone, gone.

    • Well done you. I know from reading your posts here you’ve had such a hard time with this. Such a profound release, only good can come from this kind of courage. x

  31. Don’t know what I am letting go of.
    No sugar in my tea though. I rarely eat junk food. I am gluten intolerant and haven’t eaten that in years.
    I do need to stop drinking as much. I drink too much ??? Sometimes. sigh.

    Need to let go of wanting a bigger house and more land. Of resenting my exes. Feeling insecure.

    • I do good with Rum, but the wine….It has been making me cry the last 2 days. But that could be me being sick before that and needing more time to recover.

    • You know, I think a lot of the shit I do and plans I make is all about feeling safe. And I had a voice in my head say “when have you ever felt safe?” I’m working on that one myself. I’ll always feel insecure if I don’t recognize what safety feels like. xo

      • I have the opposite problem of most people. I let too many things go when maybe i should be fighting for them. Seriously. I just let go of shit, walk out or just explode things to get my way and ditch my responsibility of them. “Letting go” is my way of control freaking. I wonder if i should try the opposite?

        • Me too. Like – as soon as I decide to go into business for myself my plan changes into running off into rural America where I can live like a survivalist.

      • safety was a big psych issue for me last year 12hv, after my ex made serious threats against me, but it had roots in childhood events. I made it my mantra, I told myself I was safe, I stuck a big sign on my cupboard door that said I was safe, I used golden light for a while to make myself feel it. In the end I just started to believe my new story and now I know i am safe and that there is nothing to fear. It feels really good. It was good to acknowledge it.

        • that’s good to hear calypso. like I read once, “the trick is to convince yourself that there is no lion in the room.” * although it sounds like you had to cover a lot of ground to let your patterning change to a point of feeling safe.

          *(or other animal posing a mortal risk)

          I remember an ex once said to me – when I was being anxious about something – ‘Be happy Pi, you have a great life!’ and that simple statement along with some other things just made all this worry and stressy crap fall away.

          • obvs it comes back at times, but i just wanted to relate to that moment of realising that things are actually ok x pi

            • thanks Pi, it has been a major transformation but so good and so simple when you get there x

      • I know what you mean. I suffered from illness and anxiety. I am much better now thankfully, but have woken up anxious a few times lately.
        My health has so much to do with it. I’m tired.

  32. I’ve been in the process of letting go of food restrictions, making sure I eat enough calories to maintain my activity level and lifestyle. Mid-forties is too hard of an era to be nursing an ED such as what I had for decades and I feel so much better living without being comatose from food/calorie restrictions and telling myself this was IT. I did my time of accepting the patriarchal swill of ‘thin, sexy, healthy’, which limits the energy and amount of space we women take up, which leads to self-imposed control and punishment. I did this for decades and I won’t again. No food, no energy, no libido, no sex, no happiness, no babies, ALL control. YMMV.

    • I disagree with this whole feminist interpretation of the current topic. If you’ve been living on a diet of unrestricted calorie intake and no mindfulness regarding the quality of one’s food intake, then find yourself exhausted, unfit and overweight – it’s hardly a positive way to step into a joyful middle age. The number of women who react badly to excessive sugar and carb intake is astonishing. It’s not about being obsessed with thinness (agreed that this is also unhealthy) – but that investing in one’s health is always the best investment.

      • I agree with the feminist interpretation entirely… However caring for self with healthy nutrition is important…. Its a massive debate… But I’d like to congratulate you Maru67 for recovering from ed, an incredibly difficult recovery…. You are amazing and powerful!

        • Really can’t wait for the new moon already!

          With eating, my friend who is really into “mindful eating” and against “body snarking” has just been diagnosed with a gamut of revolting things.

          All because eating what made her feel good and not listening to the fitness facists turned out to involve a lot of french patisserie & junk food snacking action and considering a walk in the park once a month appropriate exercize.

          I’m leo, i’m proud, i;m out, if vanity fuels my regime SO the f what. I intend to be around for a very long time even if i have to kill off the part of my persona that would love to lie in bed all day eating chocolates.

          also in what is being a gimp of processed poisonous food industries “feminist.”? Fit is feminist bitchez. Note i say “fit” not “thin” or pandering to male blah blah sexual thing. FIT.

          • And sorry to reply to myself but this friend of mine – another leo i am embarassed to say – is NOT listening to what the (very good) doctor said to her about diet because she believes that she must have “manifested” this situation for a reason.

            do dark moons make you want to clear out all your friends and start over?

            • Oh fuq, mega VOM. I’m one of the most mellow people on the planet (Mars in Fish) but right now, I really want to punch such people (as per both of your posts). I don’t even want their money (don’t ask), I just want to get the fuq rid of them. Oh fuq, I could rant about this shit for hours but I’ll just say ‘yes, do it…” – leave them to deal with their delusional little processed carb addicted, new age worlds of manifuqinfestation on their own.

  33. Well, for a while now I wasn’t really sure whats next, I did all the inner work I could do and felt better. But yesterday I realized something important, I started looking back on everything, and ya know, for someone who wants more then anything to be attractive, I sure as hell never ever ever allow myself to consider myself that way, every compliment along those lines I immediately dismiss mentally, if not scoff at, yet its what im going after in the big picture, whenever I see someone cocky or full of themselves it just causes such a negative reaction in me, sometime long ago, I just vowed no matter what, I never wanted to be THAT, I was stupid and young and resorted to an extreme, and that stupid childish immature structure is still there and its silly, how could I ever be cocky or arrogant at this point, im too enmeshed in the harsh reality of things to ever let that happen, its not a sin to think highly of yourself, and as I typed that I felt fucking sacrilegious, even the way I talk and physically represent myself and feel the need qualify everything and go out of my way to appear lesser just to avoid the trouble of being respected and highly regarded, its silly, its stupid, and its something a little kid does to avoid being a man, quite frankly, and weirdly out of all the change I have gone through, this will be the simplest, easiest and the one thing that will turn the tables and cash in on everything I have built up to, and yet, part of me doesn’t want to give it up, the most clearly completely 100 percent bad thing within me that I need to give up to be better, and yet I can feel hesitation, I can feel part of me not want to let it go, like when you dont want to get out of bed, or when you were getting driven somewhere and dont want to arrive or were waiting in line and somewhere along the way never wanted to get there,
    I complained and writhed in all this lame existential whatever, well, now its here, its coming, the thing I have been whining to just happen already, the thing I have been scared of, the thing I have been waiting for,the the thing I have been avoiding, and the thing I have been doing everything in my power to bring about, its coming, its too late for anything else, I have done as much inner work as I can do, and the only thing left is to pull the trigger, I am hesitating, but also. fuck that. Im shooting to kill.

    • isnt that such a dumb simple thing? To just like the person you are, why the hell would I do things to avoid that? Im embarrassed that that even ended up being what it was, I was hoping I was just being melodramatic and things would work out on there own, not this end of the movie protagonist realizes it was within all along silly garbage, this is exactly like that too, when you see a movie, and your super into it, and then you get to the ending and just want to shout, THATS IT? THATS FUCKING STUPID,thats how this feels, it was all just a bad movie, what a relief

    • David5379, maybe you need to move out of your subjectivity about yourself and become a bit more objective – like an outsider viewing you. I did this by saying to myself that if other people are worthy of love, compassion, forgiveness etc., and if they can be attractive than why can’t I? It is available to all people, I am a person and as such am allowed to be viewed as I view others. Be compassionate to yourself as you are to others and treasure your beauty and intellect, nurture it. It is something to be grateful for and proud of.

      • dont worry, im on the right track for sure, it isnt as dramatic as maybe I am making it sound

    • I think I understand what you’re getting at, or at least I am reading my own experiences into your current thought process re self image.

      I call it growing up a bit, but I came to it (am coming to it – is a “journey”) from trying like hell to learn about my saturn in leo and various aspects of taking pride in oneself, in one’s work, in how we come across to the world at large, how we command respect – or not – from others, whether we treat others with the same dignity as we’d like to afford ourselves. I am (still) doing a lot of reading about Leos by way of a little learning platform. Also observing Leonic types – rising or sun seems to work best (moon is harder to figure out, for all signs imo)

      it’s totally OK to think highly or well of yourself, if you’ve done your very best and you offer others the same regard and appreciation. One of the big things for me was (is) to give credit where it’s due. I rarely these days feel jealous or envious or spiteful or insecure – well maybe insecure lol – if I see someone doing something amazing. or looking awesome, achieving something hot. I just know they’re in a lucky position, or they’ve worked their ass off, or asked the right questions, talked to enough people, or put in the hours at the gym, and worked hard to be in the right place at the right time. anyone can do these things. it just takes self belief and *then* at the other end you have to feel worthy enough to step up onto the stage and graciously accept the awards / recognition rather than be all “aw shucks” about it. imo this applies to compliments on appearance, how we are as a friend, doing well at something.. whatever.

      it is a big (mental) step though. anyway i hope i don’t sound like a tosser. have fun

  34. Sugar’s going to be tough for me but necessary as I think of it as energy but has always been the ‘muffler’ of emotions for me and I’m off therapy and into athletics now.

    Off listening to people’s nya nya nya relationship problems.
    Seek a good therapist, get into athletics, evolve and your partner might too or they’ll just fl-oat away. No damage to the drywall necessary and expensive to fix.

    Watch ‘The Social Network’ if you haven’t seen it already, creativity on overdrive.

    I’m going to be much, much better to myself that’s all.

  35. why no white Cat? I’m off it all this year (except one bottle of red I toasted winter with this week) but i usually prefer white to red. is it to do with sugar or is it just personal preference?

  36. On this dark moon weekend I will be:

    – resting after a mad fortnight of comings and goings,
    – finishing some overdue writing, and finalising the next piece, which is due at the end of the month,
    – focusing on manifesting my next home/sanctuary, as I now have a timeline of when I need to let go of my current, not-so-great housing situation.

    The Great Declutter will continue next week. 🙂

  37. Currently in Buenos Aires. I spent several hours at the Recoletta cemetery (famous for being where Evita is buried) taking photos of the extraordinary mausoleums and burial art. For a Scorpio it’s the perfect dark moon activity! As for what I’m letting go of….

    Everything. I walked away from my career. Reduced my life to a handful of boxes and a backpack. I’m now progressing thru my psyche like Saturn on steroids. And it hasn’t even begun to conjunct my sun yet…

    Biggest realisations? I don’t like solo. I hate travelling alone. I need another person to balance me. And I need it for more than just travel. Opening my heart is fine, it’s releasing my sexuality and sensuality that I’m struggling with. I’m the most emotionally robust I’ve ever been. I can and have survived tough times. How about I survive the good times??

    Food, well, apart from the travel caper limiting options, I’m healthy. Eating heaps of fresh veg, very little meat, heaps of pulses and rice. And potato chips. My bête noir…. I’ve lost fat from the hard places of hips and thighs. Stomach fat still in place to protect me emotionally, so I’ve started talking to it. Reminding myself I’m safe (a psychic friend treated me for my birthday last year, and later told me and mum I have the most company looking out for me of anyone she’s ever met). Drinking way down (ironic for a backpacker!!!). But caffeine consumption way up… Really miss my soy lattes. Espresso doppio not the same…

    Slowly emptying my life. Distilling it I guess. To make way for? I don’t know.

    • Sounds good to me!

      When you are ready, the travel companion will come. Just like on Doctor Who! 🙂

    • that sounds like a fabulous trip, postmod. i understand about travelling alone – almost always alone when travelling and decided next time i go, i would love a friend or two to enjoy the fun and beauty with 🙂 hope you find a good travel wing-person x

  38. Candida lol!
    Sugar = White death as a friend once remarked. Being diabetic I don’t miss it. When experiencing a hypo I go for honey. I do miss honey.

  39. Oh JOY! Almost a full day de-cluttering, cleaning, chucking: sorted – pantry, bathroom cupboard, papers, desk, under the house, & how good it feels!! Inviting in the goodness and newness of forthcoming new moon! Oh God I can’t wait.
    Thanks for the inspiration Mystic & posters, as I read this thread with morning coffee & VOILA! – de-cluttered & ready to go.
    Virgo has been tipped off to go all Military precision & hard-core with biz this month. Look out.

  40. I really want to hide out until that new moon. If today was a taste of this weekend then my paranoia is sky high. I’m a Scofoil, and I’m interpreting my daily horoscope to mean go, hide, speak to no one until this is through, But I have a second date tomorrow at a once in a blue moon venue. I can’t bring myself to postpone based on paranoia. What I really need from some kind soul looking for some easy karma, how do you read the dates and times for when the new moon comes in????????? They are written strangely to me. Please help!!!

  41. I’ve been like Martha Stewart on crack today… made soup from scratch, cleaned fridge, cupbaords wiped down, kitchen floors cleaned, removed superfluous body hair, sat down for Zap Nap binaural chill, got back up, mowed lawns, weeded garden, prepared pot to plant strawberry seeds when moon is in right phase, face masked, showered, shampooed, set washing on timer to be ready to hang out when I wake up tomorrow, decided intestines need further healing so am going to do Gaps intro diet again when current GAPs friendly food supplies have been used, de-cluttered flower essence collection, have daily and weekly schedules worked out, have the next week planned in advance.

    Am not only telling peeps who feel personally entitled to asked for free x,y,z stuff from me to politely ‘fuq off’, have decided to go one further and also drop a bunch of clients who I find too draining to work with because there’s only so much I can do for peeps who are more comfortable in evaporate than evolve mode.

    Now I’m off to do my dark moon chill with psychic detox bath & mugwort essence for balsamic moon in 12th house maximisation.

    • Well Done Saturnalien,
      Re the dropping of Qi Draining/droning on/unappreciative/slow paying, yet demanding clients, I did this a few weeks ago,closed several doors, and several doors opened. New ones all super prompt payers, and incredibly grateful.. Bit like letting go people really, new ones turn up who can relate to you where you are now, not where you once were.

      • Cheers fleecy 😀 Good to hear it has worked out well for you! Just making the decision to do this has given me a massive burst of fresh energy to reconfigure my entire working life.

  42. f’real? well done!

    ps. hope you didn’t get the tip for the psychic detox bath from Mystic’s Mercury-Retro Bats Prep 101 post 😉

    • I may be ghostly pale, slightly morbid, and wear a lot of black, but I don’t do emo or grotty bathrooms…

  43. Neptune is just a slithery percentage of a degree away from transiting my Ascendant and I am already feeling flow-flushes. Ew, that sounds a bit ick, doesn’t it? I meant flashes of flow, like instead of hot flushes.. Luckily, being an uber Gemini I have pen and paper as well as multiple media devices for catching any glib witted majesty as it descends from my third eye, lol.
    For years now I have been incubating a modus operandi for working with nature, creativity and spirituality. …if I can manage my own Saturnian instincts with this Neptune transit I could just hatch this one. Excited doesn’t even begin to cover it. I feel like Thor himself is about to hand me a gift.

  44. seems like a big issue this sugar/ carb now i am confused about diet. i am blood o type and meant to eat meat but it is not morally right the way they slaughter animals esp cows it just is wrong.
    just seems the same answer is discipline is the key and have to make a commitment to self to be very dedicated to exercise.

    i just got these answers of the iching
    ot coming out of door and court, no fault.
    Give your actions your own size and do not exceed that. Do not answer to demands or accept values, words, situations or people which do not agree with your own nature.

  45. The last thing you’ll need is being subjected to a constant stream of negativity.