Ghost Central

Filed in Taurus

Ghost Central

Welcome to Ghost Central – a Dark Moon pre-Eclipse WITH the Sun on the mysterious Moon’s Node.Β  Consider yourself haunted – hopefully productively – with more access to ancestor spirits, guides, wisdom from previous versions from you and psychic echoes. They say that the veils between the different dimensions are wispy-thin at times like this. Enjoy.


Image: Rhinestone Pixel – Society 6

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173 thoughts on “Ghost Central

    • Sorry top crash the comments , but i need to ask, its driving me nuts, anyone else having “strobing banner adds’ in your browser ? You know, congats you are the thouanth…..blah

      Please help

      • No… Malwarebytes (free), or a similar program will probably clean out whatever is causing it.

      • ON THIS SITE? I’m totes ad-free – supported by my fabulous subscribers…

        Please tell me if anything occurs like that HERE as it would be a massive hack, obviously.

          • Have been hit by surveys and strobing madness banners, dunno what’s going on, some virus things for sure

            • It may be your computer because I am not having the same experience on Mystic’s site.

                • I was just going to suggest you scan with MalwareBytes or something. Lately there have been weird advertising “injection” or “framing” scams going around the web.

  1. Totes on this one.
    So….this happened last night when I went to bed. Hubby downstairs ‘house poofing’ (ie – gaming) and a red helium filled balloon is floating stationery at the ceiling downstairs, where it has been for past few hours since little man grew tired of it’s awesome. The balloon starts moving. It’s floating about a meter from the ‘house poof station’ Hubby (Pisces Sun, Cap Asc, Gem Moon) watches, a little freaked out. The balloon is moving along the ceiling and then dips to go under a beam, it’s heading toward the staircase.
    Up the stairs, not floating to the ceiling, upwards at an angle hubby tells me, up the stairs like it’s on a mission. He gets up to follow it. Up the stairs it goes, and then heads to the attic stairs – to it’s immediate right. Balloon decides to sit a the banister of the attic stairs. Not float to the ceiling, just hover at the banister.
    Meanwhile – I’m sleeping in the attic, to hide from little man who we’re transitioning off the boob. No, I’m not a fanatical booby person, he’s just an addict, so some nights I hide in the attic – it’s a rouse to pretend I’m not home.
    Thankfully little Leo man slept through the night – first time in months.
    WOW. First time something like this has happened, and I’m pretty used to weird shit.

    • LOL, pretend the boobs are not home, what, they have gone on vacation elsewhere? What a fun house you have πŸ™‚

    • Whoa! That is a trip about the balloon! I’d be a bit spooked but intrigued too…

    • hiding in the attic from the booby addict. Haha πŸ˜€

      Love your ghosts stories. πŸ™‚ I didn’t get to reply to your comment on the last thread. So i’ll do it here.

      Jupes in 8th! Cool! I wondered about that. My Virgo friend’s four-year old daughter has Jupiter/Moon/Pluto all in Cap conjunct in the 8th. She told her mum that ‘the naughty ones” come at night. And she hears voices. When it’s dead quiet she’ll say “mummy, can you hear the voices?” 😯

      She’s been a bit difficult for my Virgo friend lately. The poor child is having major Pluto transits in 8th house πŸ™ It’s not easy.

      All the good clairvoyants I’ve seen don’t use tarot. Some do but don’t do direct readings from them only and others use normal playing cards as a prop but usually they just sit there and talk.

      If you want to learn about the houses a fabulous book is The Twelve Houses – by Howard Sasportas. It’s my bible! So insightful.

      • sorry for my bad grammar and lack of punctuation in the 2nd last para.

        Am a tad distracted and have PMS brain. LOL

        • Hehee didn’t notice the grammer stuff. Thanks for the book recommend I’ll defo check it out. I’d really like to be able to understand Astro a lot better. It’s so significant and I feel frustrated at not being able to piece it together.
          I feel for your friend. I was wondering just that same thing today – how does Astro stuff affect the little ones. Little Leo man is 21mths & just rad. I need to do something for niece with the death watch though. She needs a special portal to help her learn about the otherside & occult knowledge. Thinking I might get her Astro chart done for her or something to help her relate these ideas to herself.
          I’ve only ever been to 2 clairvoyants. The first one put her tarot to the side & said ‘well we clearly won’t be needing these’ and the second one (12 yrs later) was pretty intense, didn’t do a direct reading, randomly turned cards over and made scribbled notes on paper for me. She was insanely accurate. Both times I just stumbled on the people too, not planned.

          • “well we clearly won’t be needing these” πŸ˜† Too funny!!!!!

            I’m no expert on the little ones’ astro but I am a very proud aunt of 4 and have done all their charts.

            It’s fascinating watching them all do their astro. They’re all very typical of their sign – Saggo, Gem, Pisces and Aqua.

            If you don’t already know, you can get free charts done on and cafe astrology is awesome for the interpretation side of things

      • Good point about the tarot. Reminds me of something I wanted to share in the ghost thread. There is a difference between communicating with something/someone directly, and using a guide. I suppose Tarot is a sort of guide – adding another layer to interpretation. But there are also spirit guides. And, those are about as reliable as people are. Maybe its my Pluto-Mercury, I trust nothing but my own experience. But, its good to be able to spot the difference. Guides generally communicate with images. For example, I was “hauted” by a soul mate’s dead Mom. She kept telling me, like a cold whisper in my ear, to tell him he was an alcoholic, etc. So, I decided to put a guide between me and her. I told her I didn’t have a relationship with him like that and I wouldn’t pass nagging notes to him in life and if she had something important to tell him, I would, otherwise, piss off. In turn, I was given the image of post-it notes being thrown at me. So, I said – that’s it. Done. Never communicated with her again. This happened several years ago. Can’t say I am feeling “haunted” at the moment. But its nice to discuss rationally how that stuff works.

        • WOW – that sounds pretty intense. I haven’t read the tarot in years, unless only very good friends ask me. I guess I feel a bit ambivalent about them, in that I don’t really need to consult them unless they call for the read, it might only confuse the issue. Unless of course, it’s a real doozey (like finding out you’re preggers) and you just don’t know what to do!
          I guess I’d always thought guides were spirits and tarot/runes (I prefer runes and do read those from time to time) are tools.
          Couldn’t have imagined having your mates mum hassle you out simply to nag. Sounds like she had some ‘shues’ (issues) of her own.
          It is nice to be able to talk about this strange kind of stuff openly, without the weird looks, snorts of derision, and that you don’t feel like the only one doing the talking or grokking!

          • There were skeletons in the family closet she wanted to keep hidden. Oh well. As for tools, I suck at reading tarot. I prefer the iching. I only use it for giving myself advice. Been great to share the madness. πŸ™‚

    • holy shit!! i already established that you’re pretty cool with this sort of thing, but your hub must also be. wow.

      • Yeah I was really surprised by hubs calmness. Usually just the thought of it gets him squealing, but he was unusually cool relaying the story to me. At first I though he was just having me on, but I grilled him about it and again tonight. I think he felt OK with it because I’d told him what the ghost girl had said the day earlier about his sisters daughter (niece) having a ‘death watch’.
        I think hub is a bit of a ‘seer’ that’s shut himself down as a youngster due to such scarey inexplicable things (he was the magical one living with muggles) so he had to shut it off to stay sane. Just means he’s freaked himself out for too long over things that are actually pretty cool. Hoping that will come into itself at some point. I wish I’d seen it. I reckon I would have had some major heart pauses for sure!!

        • I think everyone is a shutdown seer. Its frustrating because they get to “believe” and I don’t have the luxury of belief any longer.

          • That is a very interesting way to look at things. I have to agree in the sense of everyone having capabilities. I wish these dimensions were part of our society teaching and nurture.
            When you say you don’t have the luxury of belief, is that because it’s fact?

            • Because its an experience. When the weirdness went down with dude’s mom, it freaked me out. I knew her in life and was shocked by her coldness. He was like “I don’t know what I believe but everything you’re saying is spot on” and I was like ” dude-your dead mom is talking to me!!” I don’t know how else to say it. It’s like – these are senses. And belief – imagine if you had to believe in a smell. Madness – takes away sense.

            • I mean, in that event, I would have to decide I am insane and deny the experience to hold onto my beliefs. You know? If smell required belief, people would freak out if I walked in and said ” are you cooking broccoli?” It doesn’t – as you know – mean I can predict the future. But, the baseline of my experience often includes events outside belief. Frustrating for all involved. Yes – I wish society would stop pumping out belief and embrace evolution and use of senses. It’s like the species is de-evolving. Anyway, ranting now. πŸ™‚

  2. Sorry mystic. Not loving this at all ATM πŸ™ my mars and south node are in Taurus in thre 3rd and I’m feeling quite like I haven’t in a long time and honestly am barely holding myself together. After the last few years of Saturn in libra gone and the new Neptune era I was thinking this epic darkness of meltdown territory was behind me. Gorgeous new man I have been bravely seeing has been put on hold while I try and pull it together …..

    • Hang in there honey! The tidal wave of pain and emotion WILL subside… Get that fishy heart to distract that fishy brainscape and share some love to someone else… You it know helps. So does finding something so ridiculous to the human spirit ie the westboro baptist church and having a laugh…. Get out get out of your fishy cave and ignore yourself for a little moment .. Everyone needs rest! Waves of emotion … Their just waves. Big hug

      • Roger that Ainslie!! ( as she waves fish tale!) an early night and a good Leo sun ‘get out there’ talking to and ill boot myself out the door in the morning. Tanks lovely one x

      • So we are not alone in this together??
        Am boring myself into blahness.

        • Too…same…feel like apologising for my whole self…not nice feeling while trying to shine myself onto Planet New Job. Wish i could wait to create good juju first but must chase, must hunt.

        • My ‘same shit different day’ comment was a positive one… no blahness here sunshine. xx

          • Yes me too, I got that.
            For me, as in, this weekend I organised a bunch of practitioners to do healing on each other. Had some lovely past life regression stuff, plus great information on a few things causing anxiety come through (lots of mama issues for all – it’s funny how when you do en masse regression therapy certain themes seem to emerge).
            Awesome talks with a couple ladies who are so knowledgeable across various healing paradigms and what they are doing with those experiences.

            Just love it.

  3. things do feel weird, yesterday I told my friend when I was coming back home for the summer, basically, I misinterpreted(?) what he meant and thought he, and by extension my other freinds probably, were freind-breaking up with me, really there was no other way for me to interpret it, but apparently it was just a light joke that just happened to set off my extreme secret fears, so I just took it at face value instantly, on top of being all cagey from a road trip to a family funeral, 8 hours to get there, 8 hours back, and 1 hour give or take to get me back to my college town, on top of all the funeral stuff and being around family that long, so it was a culmination of feeling crappy, and when I read what he put I was just destroyed, completely emotionally eviscerated, all my secret fears about everything were true for a little bit, the people most close to me and the only ones who understand me just dumping me for no reason, and not only that but also meaning our friendship was just this long extremely cruel act on their part, im glad it wasn’t that after all, but now I feel all…. I dunno what is what anymore, its like on the inside im an insecure immature teenage girl and it takes all of my maturity, which I have a lot of, all of it, just to keep it under control, this constant worst case scenario I know isn’t true and I just have to ignore so I can function, I still feel a bit upended for that being true for a while, and embarrassed that this thing always under the surface finally got out so to speak , as well as just feeling kind of like a lame person, I mean, I am kind of lame, anyways its like if someone pulled a gun on you and you thought you were going to die, and your just dead for a little bit, and then they pull the trigger and you just get squirted and it was a water gun and you just feel embarrassed for going through that in front of someone and now your all wet and mopey and don’t quite feel all right, and now its finals week, and it feels like more then school is ending, but at the same time nothing new has come my way, im not feeling impatient anymore, just, uneasy

    • like, the thing I had put behind me, further back then ever, and grown past and learned to manage just suddenly violently murdered me for a bit out of nowhere, I have still come a long way, but still, my emotional mortality is duly noted

    • Wow what a beautiful MAN you are! This world is better with you in it. Thankyou courageous warrior

      • Ha, I’m bad with compliments, especially having to do with looks, but thank you very much

    • that’s actually a pretty clear expression of what must have been an intense personal moment for you.

      I heard a thing recently.

      “the thing is to convince yourself that there is no lion in the room.”

      i.e. that which you fear… won’t come to pass.

      you say yourself, ‘constant worse case scenario which you know isn’t true and you just have to ignore…’ that’s it right there. But I can’t help thinking you need to find a way to live in the sunshine, not just avoid the abyss. one thing that I think helped me turn a corner from worrying about shit was the first chapter or two from ‘feel the fear and do it anyway.’ you would get your own value from the book, but the line that stayed with me was “whatever happens, i’ll handle it!” it’s about trusting your future self (whether 5 mins, 5 weeks or 5 years) and trusting circumstances enough *in the future* to allow yourself to worry about it – to deal with it – if and only if it transpires!! this way, you let your present self off the hook. And in the meantime, you can get on with dealing with the present moment.

      Tell yourself that on the balance of evidence, your friends appear to like you, in spite of whatever you perceive your flaws to be. So carry on as if this will continue to be the case. warm sunshine, not edge of abyss. i don’t even know if this makes sense. but either way. look on the bright side. you may as well, it’s less stressful than the other side and if something crap happens, then think of all the stress you didn’t have to deal with before handling the crap.

      • I know what you mean, I do actively rely on my mind to objectively do what I ought to and not listen to the irrational negative stuff, but I don’t quite completely trust things, or trust that it can all work out, I just don’t know how to do that yet, maybe its not enough to bury or suppress these things, maybe to get bigger I have to leave it behind all together, it won’t be easy though, even though its silly, it serves no purpose, it just weighs me down, why shouldn’t I just be able to let it go, I’m sure I am closer now then ever before though

        • Maybe you’re forcing the ‘let go’.

          Start focussing more on yourself and the positive and necessary changes you’re making (without announcing to everyone)
          and things will be more gentle for you and transition naturally.

          • im sure it will sort itself out, im sure of it, I have the right momentum and intention, still was unpleasant yesterday, today I feel better, implications to sort through, but it wasn’t for nothing

    • What a cutie pie u r πŸ™‚

      I’ve been livin my worst case scenario
      Anyones worst case scenario probly
      But I’m living u kno? Its a flippin hard time. We must see this thru. I don’t kno how but we have to.

    • Dude, your friends sound like dickheads. Sorry to say that, but, seriously? I do think you’d do well to not imagine the worst case scenarios all the time. But you may also want to see that some people aren’t worth YOUR time and energy. Be picky (says the insanely picky Virgo πŸ™‚ )

      • no it wasn’t on purpose, I shouldn’t have even interpreted it the way I did, but the way I am there was no other way for me to see it, which is why I’m embarrassed, its possible it was on purpose, and I hope it wasn’t just a cruel messing with me thing, if it was then your right

  4. opened my eyes to a thought – “there shoulf be a name for the great abandonment”

    • The Oracle hit me back. I think its having one of its days today. Will leave it alone. Apparently this form of divining is not for me during this time.

      • No way Oracle said something sweet and positive.
        Might be because I am about to get all up in the grill of little Miss Bimbo on Reception. I don’t mind going toe to toe – David n Goliath style. Bad service, spell my name wrong, over charge me…don’t fuq with me I’ve won against The Tax Office.
        Thinking Pluto is all about getting in the Ring, I am all Eye of the Tiger.

  5. North Node on my Ascendant …. today I heard my dearly departed Mum’s voice telling me to go do my thing (i.e. quit procrastinating and getting caught up in Saturnian fear πŸ˜‰

  6. Need some supernatural assist with the lethargy going down matched with no inspiration, desires, or ideas, like i have lost my place in the Book of my Life.
    Just dark moonie? OK i’ll go with that and hope the wave of energy hits after Friday.

    • It says chill the fuq out and dance while you sleep. Light is low so the best thing is just laying low. No rush, no push. Watch that movie you’ve been meaning to. Eat something naughty. But drink plenty of water.
      Don’t know how supernatural that is, but sounds like good advice to me!

      • Too true, HAVE been dancing in my dreams, thanx
        for the memory ACG πŸ™‚

    • Yes, Alchemist, days getting darker…..DID bottle up some sunshine this afternoon, though :-).

      The cute Dung Bug, as she was referred to at 1 year, now known as the Love Bug, is turning 5!
      She was part of Myst’s ‘family’ whilst in the womb,so a definite Astro child, bless her petite ballet shoes.

      • I was gonna remind about dung-bug, well out of crappies then ?

  7. Interesting coincidence that you mention ghosts…. been thinking about them lately and feel that there might be one in my apartment, have felt that way for a while…

    But other ghosts……thinking a lot lately about a friend of mine who took his life a couple years ago. Felt like I was channeling him tonight when giving someone information about herbal medicine, as my departed friend was a master herbalist.

    Also, as ever, thinking about my cat, who passed on several years ago, but I still communicate with her. I miss her so much still…… Over the weekend I made fish, and she loved fish, and so I ate it in honor of her….

    Also thinking of my grandparents, who are also passed on, but I feel like they are living on through me in that I am carrying on their work in a certain way. They were a doctor and nurse and worked in public health, and I now work in public health, oddly enough as an acupuncturist, which is quite unusual, so I feel like my placement or calling there has to do with carrying on some family karma or lineage or something….

    Yep, I’m right in there with the ghost-thing right now….. really tarrying in the past….. I have Crab rising and tend to do that sometimes but it’s really ‘big’ and looming lately, the past, that is… Even went backward into time last weekend, visiting my home town, hadn’t been there in 2 years, saw old friends, places… I felt like I was haunting the place, myself, but it was very grounding for me, I’m sentimental….

    • That sounds really beautiful. Like laying on your back in water, letting its movements rock you. Ancestor ponderage is a great honor to give – both to them & to yourself. Cats & friends – the familiars. Love them.

  8. Not feeling great physically but I feel oddly pumped up and motivated about everything else. I can feel this eclipse so much already…it’s exact on my moon and I’ve noted it on my calendar since the beginning of the year and kind of had a gut feeling about it, that something big will happen or change.

    Was on a deadline with an article I cared a lot about tonight and didn’t do my absolute 100% best work with the word and time constraints but you know what? I put the energy in and it’s good work and I was able to FINISH at all, which is kind of a bigger deal for overcoming my lame perfectionist tendencies.

    Hoping for some spooky dreams. πŸ˜€ Theta time!

  9. feeling a bit better today. Decided that it was time to ‘hop to it’ , not full speed ahead – I just don’t have enough within me for that right now – but it’s a bit easier to come at the (intermediate) future. Heeding saturnalien’s and aquacapgemini’s words about keeping the conversation going with those recently passed. without really planning it, spent the afternoon yesterday looking through old photos of grandparents and their life in the 1940s thru 1980s and my father as a kid. was reassuring, I haven’t given them enough thought recently so it was nice to ‘revisit’. Grandparents such a handsome couple πŸ™‚

  10. Triple Taurus here. Have been having the most outlandish, deep dreams of my life in the past week. Dreams that are so involved, and real, that I wake up exhausted and disturbed. Themes vary but animals are involved (lots of dogs for some reason), water, drowning, women. I even dreamt I flew to the moon on a rocket, but when I got there I was bitterly disappointed as it was filled with tacky gift shops selling oversized tshirts and key rings. I don’t know what any of this means but I’m finding it hard to rev in the morning because of my night time dream antics! And no – there’s been no chemical assistance, blue devil hoochie juice or ether. This is straight-edge dreaming.

    • I love the tacky gift shop moon dream. Maybe some kind of message about how the grass is always greener and you have everything you need and desire inside yourself? Wow, that sounded cheesy. Sorry. πŸ˜€

      • Ha! That’s the exact meaning that I took away from it as well (tacky as it sounds). Although I have been thinking about commercialism alot lately and how I abhor it but am a part of it too (love a bit of kitsch snowdome action!). I’m doomed!

        • I think that dream is telling me its another subtle clue that the american moon landing was a hoax.

    • I’m a triple Taurus too. I have Sun & Moon conjunct and Mercury also. I suppose I could be a quadruple or pentuple, if you count my MC and North Node in Taurus too.

      What degrees are your Taurus planets? If you’ve been listening to Mystic, surely you know how Saturn in Scorp has been opposing Taurus. And now the eclipses in Taurus. That is just too much action.

      • Charles! I was born with the Sun, Moon and Mercury all in Taurus packed really tightly together in the 10th house (17-24 degrees). Also Chiron in Taurus too. These are intense transits indeed. I am still here though. How are you faring?

  11. Uhm, yeah. Ghosts abound, but I wouldn’t really say ‘enjoy it’. There are some seriously dodgy energies floating around activated by the uranus-pluto square.

    At last year’s Uranus-Pluto square I lived with a not-so nice ghost for three weeks, it trying to possess me. Seriously. I managed to protect myself though and after three weeks it cleared off, and onto the neighbours apparently.

    Just be sure to make sure that the spirit who you are connecting with is from the light!

    The Jinn exist!!!!!

    • icky schmicky…there’s a lot of old bleached wood from buildings and trees creeping into the weird dreams i’m having, like old tree roots and stairs, grey and splintery

      i’m fighting it by just doing stuff that i’d like to put off until i feel like doing it…no neptunia…and pluto is trining my saturn

      pluto on mars, pluto square merc and chiron, uranus opp uranus, saturn opp saturn

      • We must be around the same vintage Mille, very similar set of transits going on here… (Uranus opposition is happening on my MC/IC axis with Pluto conj my Sun/Venus… Saturn on my moon, but now past Saturn opposition, thank fuq.)

    • Yeah – do the white light thing. I vision it as an intense dense white ball getting stronger, welling up & then release it, i see it billowing out in circular radius with the shock wave of atomic force. I see the imagined faces crumbling like zombies in an apocalypse, or if they arent consumed by the light at least being pushed so far away that they can’t break through the perimeter of white atomic light ever again. And that they are forever changed because of that.
      You do gots to keep the vermin away.

        • I dont believe in ghosts but i believe people who believe in them can do some pretty crazy things to others in order to sacrafice them away…

          As a matter i am a ghost of my former self after that last mercury retrograde in pisces in the 8th study of dark occult satanisim, MK ultra, Monarch programming… As a scorpmoon with 3 planets in virgo u know i read throughly and that shit is so real.

          Everytime i say i cant find anything worse about what humanity is capable of the univers e suprises me so. Im not sayin it this time and hoping this ghost can catch a break, damn.

  12. Woke up on Sunday morning then fell into a bit of a doze. Lying on my stomach I felt a woman’s hand pushing at the small of my back. Thought my daughter had snuck in but when I looked the bedroom door was still closed and no one was in the room. I know who it was and I felt that she was trying to ground me, as the past few years have been tumultuous, although very much improved in the past 6 months. Really in tune with Ghost Central.

  13. Well, for the first time in a long time I am not looking back or dealing with ghosts. I am so busy with work I don’t really have much time to think about anything else.
    I spent three weeks living elsewhere alone for work and absolutely loved it, SO good to be away from the soon to be ex husband. Have almost got a secure job squared away, and a plan to move in with a friend. I’ve been taking inspiration from a friend of mine who has evolved at warp speed – since Xmas he’s met someone, fallen in love and is now packing up to move countries and start a new life. It’s like watching somebody step into the life that was always supposed to be theirs, quite remarkable. I figure if he can do it, so can I. My new mantra is ‘whatever it takes’.
    The new moon eclipse will be exact conjunct my Jupe / NN in Taurus in the 10th and pinging my grand earth trine. I intend to make the most of it.

  14. Hello. I am freaking out. I have never posted on this blog before or really any other but a friend introduced me to it, I’ve been reading and appreciating others’ stories, thinking what a good feeling it must be to be able and willing to share with strangers. Never thought it was for me. HOWEVER perhaps I am wrong. I have a situation that terrifies me because it is reminiscent of another, something that happened last year but had been building for about 2 years before that. I’ll try to make this brief but if someone cares to comment, I need all the help I can get.

    In late 2010 I met a man, a Scorpio, and the attraction was immediate and strong. This happened at an academic event so the man had the basics, a brain and a job. We spent the following week together. It was like being high all the time but no substances were involved, just some ridiculous chemical reactions. I still remember walking from one place to another when he stopped me in that city that was new to both of us, on the street, and kissed me, gently but firmly, and simply. Then just took my hand and we kept walking without a word. I had never felt the way I did at that moment, before or since.

    Following that week we ended up parting ways and getting back to our very separate lives on different continents. We would occasionally and always spontaneously have highly intellectualized wordplay but no actual conversations about anything that was happening in either person’s life. I was busy and stressed, no time for a relationship of any kind, and liked the occasional game. Then a year later I moved a long way, by chance and for a job, not too close but closer. We ended up reconnecting spontaneously and physically, a week here and a week there. It was good before it was not. I learned that the man was in love with another woman, trying me on for size during a break in their off-again part of the cycle. I didn’t fit. I lack common sense often but not usually logic intuition and perception. I figured this out quickly enough. He was also straightforward in his complete dismissal of a possibility of a relationship.

    Since then I moved on and no longer have any feelings for that man, except some shame for how I was, the weakness, embarrassment about what I had said, regret for the kindness and composure when none was reasonable. I know still what attracted me to him but he was kind enough to show me all the reasons we could never work out.

    On to present day. There is someone else, someone I have never met but corresponded with for work, strictly professional. I will be meeting him for the first time soon, for work reasons. In a new city. I want that man to want me when we meet. I have built him up in my mind and I am terrified of what will happen to me if that castle crumbles, which it very well might. I feel that this is my last chance for happiness. I do not feel this way easily, and in my life have only felt that kind of mental and physical attraction a handful of times, maybe twice. I am in my 30s. I have been loved, deeply, and did not love back. I feel this is my penance, for every one of my abandonments, is an abandonment of me. I have had times where perfectly wonderful people wanted to spend their lives with me, and I rejected them because I did not love them or more accurately was not in love. Although I miss the friendships. I am idealistic and romantic and strong and self-reliant and smart and sensitive and really an idiot. In any failed situation I always blame myself because I should have known better. I present professional and composed but I am scared that when I meet this guy, I will be neurotic and not myself, trying to be a perfect mate. And then there are a million reasons this may not work out.

    I don’t know how to not have this pit in my stomach, this ache and anxiety and fear that this meeting will be a deja-vu from the last one, with another person, a meeting that I had looked forward to and was hoping for, for a long time, to be crushed completely in just a few short days. What if this new meeting goes nowhere? How will I deal? … Is this the ghost central?

    p.s. i am an aries with scorpio rising. mercury and venus in bloody aries.

    • Hi P, what you’ve said reminds me of myself when younger. I was very sensitive, shy, lacked confidence and never had BFs. I’d have these romantic obsessions with guys I hardly knew and fantasise about them falling in love with me etc. usually unavailable somehow. Now much older and hopefully wiser, I’m over trying to attract or win someone who isn’t interested.. I’ve been single for ages and while I’d like to have a lover and companion, maybe husband, I am also determined to stay independent and keep up my own life, friends, art etc. I think it’s better not to be too dependent on another person. I’m also quite scared of getting bored or feeling fenced in in a relationship.
      Anyway my advice is, if its meant to be, it will happen, no matter what you say or do. Listen to your heart and respect yourself. This guy isn’t a perfect dream man, he may be lucky to be with you. Or he may not be able to appreciate your Awesome. So move on and find someone who does. Good luck

      • Hi G πŸ™‚
        Are you a Gemini by any chance? I ask because my best friend in the world is a Gemini and always knows what to say if I am freaking out… You seem to be able to do that. I agree with you completely. I have been independent for ages, with a select few close friends who are beautiful people. I do love so much about my life. But I also have a tendency to obsess, I find one thing I can’t have and start obsessing over it and plotting ways to get it (this *never” involving the guy being with another woman, i mean more logistics – time place). I’ve had some lucky breaks but also epic failures. I think I may be due for a lucky break but who knows.
        Thank you for the “if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen” comment. It is simple but for some reason seeing you say it just made me feel better. Thanks for the kind words.

        • Yes I’m gem sun, Aries rising, Taurus moon, mars and mercury. And have lots of practice calming down myself and others who are freaking out!

    • What is it with people in their 30s who think they have had their last chance at true love? I have met a few. You are so young.There is much time for love. I met the love of my life after many years with the one person, and two children. The love of my life and I are not together for a whole lot of reasons, but the experience was like nothing else on earth. It was so obvious to many. He ran away from it because it interrupted his career. I am at peace with it now but it has taken quite a lot of work to realise why we don’t always get what we think is “ours”

      • Hi Libra,
        Thanks so much for replying. I knew how it sounded when i wrote it, and it’s something I would actually never say out loud, because, well, of how it sounds. Thank you sincerely for the “young” comment. I appreciate it. I think one of the reasons for my “last chance” comment is that I don’t have children, would like to, but I feel that not even having a partner that I would want to have children with makes that a too remote possibility. My Mom has been telling me to just have a baby, it went from being all about education to all about baby and nothing else matters. Except other things do matter, my work matters to me, others do, my friends and family who are very dear to me. But still I feel like time is slipping away, time when I still can start a family… probably all of that was part of the “last chance” comment. But I definitely see your point. I am sorry that you are no longer with the person you love(d). I suppose though having had that experience at all is better than not having known such emotion. Thanks for sharing that and for taking the time to respond.

        • If you are meant to have a baby you will. I had two. I had them with a dear, dear friend. Those children had to be born. I met the true love of my life years afterwards and we are not together. Who knows what will happen in the future. He has his family and career but there is something pulling us together.

    • welcome penchant_for_todestrieb πŸ™‚

      Forgive me for getting straight to it, but might you have Neptune in the 7th house?

      Perhaps someone more experienced can suggest another placement or transit explanation for a little Love Zombie tendency? The thing is, I think you know there could be a little illusion operating?

      It’s difficult to fathom why you have pinned so much to this person you haven’t met. You seem to be wanting to give all of your power away.

      I guess it’s possible you have some significant astro synastry with this person although I have learned (heartbreakingly) and have read many others comment here that situations that feel fated, and even situations that are fated, are not always meant to be long term romantic unions.

      I hope the tone isn’t too negative, just sounds like you could do with a healthy dose of realism.

      Good luck!

      • Hi Calypso,
        Thanks so much for your reply. There is for sure more than a little illusion operating here. I did and do though feel like it is meant to happen, but I can’t explain why without another novel. I feel a strange pull toward this guy that I can’t shake. And little fate-y things have happened that are allowing this meeting to take place.

        Thanks for asking about my Neptune position, to be honest I am really new to all this and have no idea what anything means. Have only recently learned what an ascendant is and how it might matter. Also learned some from mystic over the last 6 months but I don’t know how to interpret anything in my chart besides the sun sign and rising. and Venus πŸ™‚ Below is my “data” from, I am not asking for an interpretation but if anything does jump out please do share. And thanks again for your kind reply. It’s been a low day but this has actually helped.

        Moon Sagittarius 27Β°59’27 in house 2 direct
        Mercury Aries 25Β°54’11 in house 6 direct
        Venus Aries 26Β°07’47 in house 6 direct
        Mars Cancer 26Β°33’08 in house 9 direct
        Jupiter Gemini 28Β°24’54 in house 8 direct
        Saturn Leo 24Β°13’57 in house 10 retrograde
        Uranus Scorpio 15Β°45’24 in house 1 retrograde
        Neptune Sagittarius 18Β°17’37 in house 2 retrograde
        Pluto Libra 15Β°29’03 in house 12 retrograde
        True Node Libra 5Β°52’53 in house 11 retrograde

        • i don’t know – I’m a newbie too! you can google all these placements though, if you want to get really obsessive-compulsive. However, it sounds like a transit thing to me….

          I like Gemyogi’s advice above: “if its meant to be, it will happen, no matter what you say or do.” In fact, you do not want to try and force anything, you could really freak the guy out, and away (in which case Saturnalien has a song for you). Or not. But you def up the chances of feeling bad about yourself.

          This is not your last chance for happiness or anything else, and yes, Gemyogi’s right again, happiness is not conditional on a love partnership.

          • ps. I’m not judging or superior, but maybe I am speaking from a lesson learned myself. last year I had an amazing connection with a guy which was established online. I thought it was f’real, the real deal, etc. It wasn’t. I was deluded, a Love Zombie. I did have a glimpse of something beautiful, but it wasn’t the whole story. I wasted a lot of time & energy on it. I think it was a lesson, sent to me by Saturn, so it wasn’t a complete loss.

            Anyway, I believe you can feel someone’s energy through those sorts of interactions and have a sort of vibe happening between you. maybe you guys do have something special going on. maybe it will translate. Just don’t make that your only desirable future.

            May your story be happier than mine! Keep us posted πŸ™‚

        • Here’s one starting point: Moon-Jupiter opposition (and Neptune loosely conjunct Moon) (natally). Moon opp. Jupiter will overmagnify feelings (emotional exaggeration is one interpretation). With Neptune near the Moon, this causes emotional confusion (read everything you can about “12th house Moon,” gives same info as Neptune/Moon conj.) So mix it all up together: massive emotional confusion. That’s my first hit anyway, use it as a starting point if it fits

        • I can relate, in my 30s as well. As much as I wish for real closeness,
          I’m perfectly fine with resigning it all to chance or some clandestine
          moment. So to share some of your astro, I have a Saggo moon
          in tight aspect to neptune in 8th, an aries mercury, scorpy uranus, and
          all of those make me one hell of a pain in the ass…for romance. With aries
          and scorp I think there has to be a myriad of games, like intellectual
          sodoku, or body twister, or who can drive the most miles in one sitting w/o
          the cruise control…

          oh and I always found astrotheme being a fun site to explore. The natal gives you some fun buttons to play with along with providing interpretations to your aspects.

      • I think that’s a good guess as I have Neptune in 7th house and this resonated with me!

        • Welcome to blog land, your experience matters. You can learn alot about yourself and others through this great medium.

          One thing that might take the edge off, although not sure you have the time to really study and incorporate it into your personality in time if you use the mercurial route of logic, you will more than likely tell your self you need this and NOW. merucrys impatient like that and in aries even more so. But since you have neptune and the moon in close contact, if you go the route of intution, you will sit there like the special light that you are peacefully interacting with all around you, not much pressed in one direction or the other… Because….

          YOU LIVE, LOVE, AND HAVE MORE THAN ONE LIFE, try and remember how many countless times you have had what you wanted, and what futre adventures await you.

          Then the meeting becomes more of a infinite experience of universal gratitude rather than one centralized lifetime hope or need.

    • I’ve been like this before in the past a lot…

      Best advice from me is simple: don’t idealize anyone before you actually know them, believe in your value and visualize the good parts about yourself instead of visualizing a future and the future will come naturally.

      You sound a lot like me — need a very strong and specific kind of intellectual connection and, like me, feel like there are so few out there who meet this simple requirement. Just keep in mind that there are probably so many guys out there who are holding out for this same thing who would also be a good match!

      Don’t lay all your cards out too early, don’t be scared, and have fun. Also I don’t know where you live but maybe in the future you might want to move to a place with a higher proportion of people like yourself? Sometimes I get sick of the Bay Area but I gotta admit it’s nice to have a surplus of nerdy guys to have as friends and flings. πŸ™‚

      • dark dark moon has invoked dionysus in my dreams. have never been this lucid and 3D. it’s for the lack of a better description being on ecstacy. full on hedonistic ritualistic orgy with all my favorite ghosts, zombies.

        when awake, I’ve had trance like focus and just noticed that I’ve not been blinking my eyes. wierd astro.

    • Perchant, when i read this last night, there was so much to advise you that it wasn’t possible to put it all into words.
      What stood out for me (being older & experienced with men) was your lack of confidence and fear of the past and that you must bolster your self esteem. HE is the lucky man, please tell yourself that so you go in a position of power, not power over but power with, IF he is worthy.
      Do not allow the past to impinge on the future, of course learn from it but do not take it with you to meet him.
      Men are trickier than they have ever been as women are served up or so they think, like a smorgasbord, so also ensure he is free to commence an affair if that is what you desire. He WILL be wanting sex with you, delay that as long as possible before you give the gift if you want a relationship not just a nookie. (That’s good too of course but capitulation too soon is to be vulnerable if you don’t have many lovers previously).
      Some won’t agree with me, but having been on the planet longer than them, have more knowledge of men & relationships between the species.
      Read up on Tantra, not the sex part, the heart & love part to prep yourself.
      A women is not usually at her sexual peak until in her 40’s, so you have plenty of time.

  15. I’m liking this energy… Though feeling exhausted I’m excited by the new future I’m starting to dream and create. Looking forward to the eclipse, it’s taken ages but I’m finally starting to evolve! Using the zap zone to phoenix at last. Now trying to rest and recuperate and record my insights and wishes/dreams for the new era.

      • Good thinking Gemjogi. This pre-eclipse energy feels so strong and I am trying to let it do what it needs to do.
        Some odd conversations about cats (living and spirited away ones).

  16. Yoko Ono seems to be getting pretty dark moon! Not only do I find this idea powerful and interesting, the spooky background music is very dark moon! Complete with purging grunts- try it out πŸ™‚ It’s made my inner wounded/transformative woman feel pretty powerful πŸ™‚

  17. Dark Moon random moment of clarity #52:

    I just realied I’ve been listening to an NPR program re stink bugs for the last half hour.

    Not every happening is significant. Some shiz is just filler.

  18. The most important thing in all of this is you.

    If everyone made self-actualization, self-love the most important thing first, we’d all, the planet would be getting somewhere. Cleaner vibes, people working together.

    I was taught as a kid that I was selfish because I would go off and do my own thing. Those same people proceeded to take a lot of energy from me as a child and has taken shitload of work for me to come back.

    Let the soulmatey, karmic, past-lifer dude/dudettes filter through your remarkable life and life in progress and wish them well, you’re that for them too !

    Haven’t seen any ghosts but feeling like some people are pissed at me,
    some psychic malaise maybe. Gonna burn some giant white candles and eat some spicy Indian food.

    • I totally agree. Funny I had the same feeling today. Ate some spicy chips. Time to light a white candle πŸ™‚

      • also loving this post Ocean Lover πŸ™‚ and love that you’re an ocean lover! I had a free one-on-one yoga session on a rock platform by the ocean as the sun came up this morning, how lucky am I?

    • “Let the soulmatey, karmic, past-lifer dude/dudettes filter through your remarkable life and life in progress and wish them well, you’re that for them too !”

      Thanks Ocean Lover! What I needed to hear today. =heartfelt sigh=

  19. I have no interest in the ghosts of my past, except long lost ancestors and those that have actually passed on. Real ghosts are fine by me.
    I am so burned out on the ghost/love zombie stalker ex trying to contact me. It’s embarrassing. It just never seems to end almost 20 years later. He is a Double Scorp and doesn’t not take a legal restraining order hint.
    I wish he’d get on with his zap-zone and bugger off permanently. If I wanted him in my life I’d still be friends with him, but he is a psycho and not in my real for a very good reason. I have no problem staying in contact with friendly healthy ex’s otherwise.
    I need pest be gone spray!

    • Thats why im so cautious of scorpio influinced gays.

      I fight for my freedom as much as they can to be with other people, cant say ive put myself in front of a bus full of scorpios too many times, but the ones ive met thankfully have gotten it. esp after i throw some universal love astro jargon. They kinda like this guy is too out there, and thats how my venus in pisces aqua sun likes it.

      • Not all Scorpios are bad news just don’t let them try to take control. Low vibing scorps are very can be very controlling.
        It depends on your sign and if you can put down strong firm boundaries.

    • This sucks, I hope he leaves you alone soon. I ended up with a bitter and obsessive low Scorp when I was young and naive to the ways of psycho bastards from hell. I had a lucky escape though because he found someone else to obsess over and marry within weeks of me dumping his psycho arse (though he still kept calling and visiting me to try and get me back while he was woo-ing her). They moved away to some remote bumfuq town to live happily ever after (what he wanted to do with me)… last I heard was that she was in hiding after he ignored a restraining order and tried to kill her and the guy she was staying with.

        • Yea.. Ppl with venus in pisces is anything but a boundarys, so i guess thats why it works.

          Scorpios usually need a boundary to start with, something to peg themselves agianst. And thats what i just naturally dont have in my love language. So gives me extra time to still show i care and keep a safe distance.

          Venus in pisces is here
          Nore there
          Its there then its over here
          And then under there

          And then its well where did he go, well he really did that in a nice subtle way
          Somehow we leave scorpios still intact.
          Im like come on bro u dont need me silly..ur a fucking scorpio and there like yea thats right!


          • Interesting thread about Scorps being controlling. Early on with Uranian Scorp, I was like “What are your borders?” and he’s all like “I have no borders. I’m an open book.” LOL! He cuts on and off communication. And, really, all that’s about is controlling. Anyway, I’m sure he’ll pop in again. Its just good to know where my borders are at with him, regardless of what he does next. Scorps, apparently, need someone to figure out borders for them.

            • Secretive, lack of healthy boundaries with others. Either intensively stalking or secretly hiding someone else they are stalking. (Low Vibing Scorps).
              I don’t have the patience for secretive, serial stalker types. No longer a mystery but just plain annoying.
              I can relate to wanting personal space and privacy but not to the obsessive intense stalking.

              • If I discover I am being stalked, I will deal with that too. Not giving my power away to shadows. Not letting anyone else decide my borders. I guess scorps are good lessons for that. Didn’t mean to imply such behavior was a turn o , lol

  20. Worst pms ever. A few months ago after a weird black period my cycle switched from being on the full moon to the new moon. Weird. Ugh.

    • Ouch, hugs 12HV. I remember you writing about that black period. Astro aside, might you need a check up just to reassure yourself that everything’s fine?
      Cycles are weird and miraculous, so it might be just a manifestation of the other changes you’ve been going through. Case in point: I hadn’t had a period in 9 months, thought I was just about done with them (I’m 48), then within a week of moving out of my gay husband’s bed, I got a period. I’ve had regular periods since and am ovulating again. My femininity has actually come back to life since distancing myself from him physically. Go figure!

      • lol, maybe sleeping on the left side of the bed can do that too πŸ™‚

        • sorry Chrys, I don’t mean to be flippant but I can laugh as I think I had a gay husband too….(still repressed).

          As for the cramps, I’ve had some weird strongish cramps this week even after my period had done it’s thing. Put it down to the intense astro/dark moon? Breathe, stretch xx

          • sorry to keep coming in on this….would be good if I waited till I collected my thought senough to post in one hit but just had some thoughts:

            Chrys: that’s a pretty wild story actually. Just goes to show how reactive our physiology can be hey…

            12HV: I made that Full Moon to New Moon shift a little while back too. I wonder what we can read in to ot? I’m thinking about something a friend said to me about seeing your period as a chance to release things, like emotions, that are no longer serving you and how that works well with the New Moon. So I’m reading these cramps of mine positively, as a big purge before the NM eclipse. What do you reckon?

            • Me too! It seems like right timing to be a grump, sloth out, and release the old.

          • Oh really Calypso Scorp? Wow… mine repressed also, sadly I doubt if he’ll ever come out. I used to joke that the reason I got headaches all the time was from sleeping curled up in a ball as far away from him as possible on the edge of the bed so that I wouldn’ t repulse him by accidentally touching him πŸ™‚

              • Yep I’m nearly single… slowly unpicking it. So optimistic about the future! LOTS of things to catch up on lol

      • Same thing happened to me! When I was married I had very irregular to no period. When my husband moved out – it was regular again. I’m not worried about it. It’s just extra painful this month. I thought it interesting that it moved from full moon to new moon. Some woman online did a write up about it. I forget what she called it. But having a cycle at the full moon is a kind of rejection of fertility – full moon being associated fullness-pregnancy. So, I hope it doesn’t mean my body’s trying to get pregnant. It would have to be immaculate conception but, still, my shop is closed, lol

      • yeah because you are not absorbing all the negativity and testosterone. I swear you can absorb things from spending too much time in close proximity to someone.

        When I am with someone I have some degree of compatibility with, I swear I can feel my eggs ripen to fertility. Bodies are really creepy like that.

    • Black period is stagnant blood. To move stagnant blood starting on 1st day of period and continuing until the end of period drink a teacup of the following mix each day after food. 2 tsp of Tumeric powder mixed with 2 tblspns tamarind pulp and 1/2 tsp salt disolved in 2 litres of water. This is a Javanese Jamu (herbal medicine) recipe which is also given to new mothers immediately after birth to help the placenta expel completely and anything else that might be adhering to come away.

      • Thanks for this. It was actually a few months back. Things are flowing now. I will keep this in mind if it happens again. I thought it interesting, because it was like my cycle stopped, stagnated, and then changed times, from full moon to new moon. Seemed so intentional, although only after observing a few cycles – if it stayed that way it would be disconcerting.

    • Just saw this….
      Below I posted about my missing period. I don’t ovulate all the time anymore.

  21. how about the ghostly stuff going on in the world right now – this week – today – there is a lot of crazy shit going down right now out there. A lot of innocent people being sacrificed and falsely imprisoned – that is what I am feeling today.

  22. No period yet and super late. I do not like limbo. Tested 2 days ago and still negative.

    My dreams the last week have been so busy, so many people, things occuring, places I am going.
    Don’t recall most of it when I wake up. Did dream of a meteor shower the other night only to find out there was one that night I didn’t know about.

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