Astro-Dilemma: Did I Just Date A Pisces?

Tattoo art couple passionateDear Mystic,

I am an early 40’s something single woman, who is somewhat entertained but yet distraught over the dating scene at this age. I have been divorced for about 5 years, had a 2 year rebound relationship, rocked the hell out of being a love zombie ( younger men, men that aren’t available … you name it … I love zombied it).

Since Saturn arrived in my ascendant last October, I decided to get real with myself. Get sober. Meaning … I was going to focus on all things tres Saturn when it came to life and especially dating.  So, I start dating casually here and there … when suddenly, my  girlfriend decided to set me up with what seemed to be a lovely gent: 46 years old, single Dad, owned his own business, lived on the lake …. on paper: AMAZING!

I decided to snoop around and find out at least a birthdate or something. Even better! A Pisces with a Gem Moon. Ok … so, I haven’t experienced a ton of Gemini’s in a romantic way, but love the Pisces. I am a Taurus Sun/ Scorp rising/Sag moon … so I thought this might be a fabulous match! I was kinda excited.

 My friend decided to have a group of people meet at a bar (including me and him), so it wouldn’t be awkward meeting him for the first time. Awkward? Oh boy … that word doesn’t do justice in describing my night with this man.

The evening came. My friend and I were perched at the bar … when in comes Pisces….He waltzed in like he owned the place, came up to the bar, and basically shoved his way in between my friend and I to introduce himself. Out came the hand for a violently excited hand shake. He sat down, immediately faced me and turned his back on our friend to go in for the kill.  OMG Mystic – the man was like a dog in heat. It took all of 10 minutes before Pisces was all over me.

He was rubbing my back, looking me up and down and TOTALLY in my personal space (if I can see the pores on your skin, smell or feel your breath, please step away). Pisces made DAMN SURE I knew he was sexual, had money, and thought I was the best thing since sliced bread.  He was even kind enough to ask me “what nationality are you?” But, before I could even murmur where I was from, he answered for me “well, whatever nationality it is, I LIKE IT! PANT PANT.”  It was out of control!

Pisces talked. He talked A LOT. The talking, the blabbering on and on. I am pretty chatty for a Toro gal, but wowza. Honestly, I think he might have snorted coke or something before showing up, because he would not shut up. Blabbered away.  Either that or I just haven’t experienced a Gem moon before. Could not get a word in edge wise.

My friend finally got it and peeled him off of me. 10 minutes later, Pisces disappeared into the night.

Needless to say, people that brag about their money and tell me how sexual they are within the first 30 minutes of meeting me are NOT my type. However, I do wonder ….Is THIS dating in your 40’s?  The desperation? The vulgar transperency? The dog panting? Please say it isn’t so. He made being a love zombie look really good after that night …..

Enlighten me. Please!
Signed,
Toro Queen

Dear Toro Queen,

Wow. Okay. Well congrats on your Love Zombie recovery but  you know what? There can be upsides to being a Love Zombie and one of them is not being pawed in bars. Because, you know,  you’re at home fantasizing, e-stalking or doing self-improvement activities for The One.

And look, Pisceans are renowned for having more or less two speeds in dating: Aloof and not giving a fuq OR hyper-maniacal compulsive crushes. But this guy also sounds like he (a) Snorted some obscene blend of Space Dust/Viagra/Horny Goat Weed powder before he met you just in case he had to ‘perform’ or (b) Got totally hammered as he was so nervous/an alcoholic or (c) is desperate/insane/a male Love Zombie from another planet.

Even if he is not any of the above and was genuinely floored by your super powers of Awesome, you would expect him to play the situation a bit more suavely, right?  But after this display of – um – enthusiasm, where did he then head off to?  Was he mortified? Scuttling off to score more drugs? Going to get a lap dance? Frankly, i am mystified. I mean, even Piscean Love Zombies can keep it together long enough to act vaguely sane on a set-up date in a public place.

Remember: Dating in your 40s is basically Uranian Dating as it’s after your Uranus Opposition – and it’s not so much the Saturn dating you do earlier on, when you’re move looking for a father/mother of your possible children and/or responsible co-financial household partner person. Apres 40, you’re presumably individuated, able to function healthily as a solo unit and after more companionship, sex, intellectual rapport. So it’s wilder by definition.

But also, i think that kind of invasion of body space thing is terribly controlling in a fuqed up sort of a way – it’s like the person doing it can act all innocent like they’re just being “affectionate” or whatever but it’s really, really disrespectful.  Or is that perception just because i’m an Aqua Rising Uranian cyborg? What does everyone else think?

 

Image: Corey Thompson

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Aishah Macgill
Aishah Macgill

Well, being a female Pisces. Have to say, this little meet up had me laughing… just go in for the kill and see what happens. No more wasting time, either it’s on… or not. If not, then next… …all I can say in summing up is, he was not looking for a long term mateship contract. He was hoping for some fun. Maybe your friend had better ask WHAT HE was looking for before she hooked you two up. Sounds like you were looking for long term security, he was looking for a fun night possibly spread out over several… Read more »

serenity
serenity

@TheLeoSocialite — I’m with you honey. The cubs are adorable. I’m sick of narcissistic egomaniacs who think they have enough money, power, sexuality and brains — but absolutely no sense of humor or spirituality to have me call back. BORING. I’m no one’s audience. I’m no lady in waiting for any narcissistic so-called girlfriend either. I’d rather have a cub giving me a foot massage and teling me how gorgeous I am, and I mean every day and every minute. I love it. That’s dating in our 40s and beyond. I’m sick of the Dos Equus old smelly fart —… Read more »

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Well put, Serenity!

ÁNLEIFRMM Member
ÁNLEIFR

Just curious if these 40+ guys act this way because of the younger females they are trying to attract? Do those tactics work on younger females, obviously more mature women can read right through that BS. Personally, my favorite is the 40+ dude that is wearing his hat backwords, has a chin beard, wearing a tight tshirt and jeans that no “dad bod” would ever wear LMAO!!!!

Star inspired
Star inspired

Ick!… Poor you, Toro Queen. IMHO, there is NOTHING more repugnant than such a Space Invader (whether space dust fueled, or not). Some people are so adept at this sort of Chi Vamping that they do it even without having to actually place a finger on you physically. They can simply sleaze all over your energy field with their smarmy, needy, smuttly, psychic attacky & totally ‘alienated from wholesome’ intentions & voilà, you feel completely & utterly violated to the core of your being. Gosh, I’m grossed out all over again, just remembering unpleasant memories of that. Shields UP! Although… Read more »

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

Hi Starinspired, I have Venus-Uranus, do you think that would do the same thing to me?

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

I’d say a big ‘fuq yeah’ to that… I’m Venus/Uranus and Sun/Uranus, I can barely stand peeps invading my body space in a post office que let alone sleazy octopus hands groping me without permission.

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

lol, I get where you’re coming from. Back off, people!

Good to know, thanks Saturnalien 🙂

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Venus in Aqua trine Uranus in Libra – mutual reception in my communication houses 3 and 11 – and yes me too with the quick boxer’s duck and weave to maintain physical space if people get too close. Sometimes also deflect well meaning hugs from nice people if no warning approach signal…oops… Think i have a few other strong Uranus contacts, too…Moon, Merc, Mars, Jup, Chiron.

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

oh yeah, I just got back from the supermarket where the guy in the line behind me was standing way too close for comfort and I had a little smile about it 🙂

In fact, there were too many people in the store in general 😉

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

What really shits me is when I give these supermarket que / space invaders my signature evil glare and proceed to move as far away asI can possibly get from them in the confines of a que and the next thing they’ve taken another step forward and are breathing down my neck – argh!

It all feels like qi-vamping to me, having random peeps in my auric field, probably unintentional on their part, but still…

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

completely unaware, i reckon!

Anonymous
Anonymous

Haha!… In said post office or supermarket queue, I place my shopping basket strategically on the ground (in front or behind, as required) between myself & the space invader & I take one step away, adding EXTRA space in between us
🙂

Star inspired
Star inspired

Oops that was me, Star inspired

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

I must try this!

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Fuq yes on the well-meaning hugs too… my Capricorn, beige on beige, ex-model auntie was the last person to launch her chemical perfume marinated self on me with a well-meaning hug only to be physically ejected and verbally rejected with “sorry, I don’t do hugs” (I do hugs, but only with peeps I feel mega fuqing vibrationally in-sync with)

Star inspired
Star inspired

I’m with Saturnalien on that one, Calypso Scorp…
“a big ‘Fuq yeah’ to that”.

If Venus, among other things, is the way we relate, love, create etc… Then Venus/Uranus must require a certain amount of space, detachment, nonchalance… As in like, ‘be cool brother & give a dude some space… Know what I’m say’n?’
😉

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

actually I cannot tell you how much sense that makes in relation to my last lover 🙂

trouble is when the nonchalance is the visible manifestation of a fundamental unavailability 🙁

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

That’s when you need to get your Goddess on and realise they aren’t worthy of your awesomeness anyway 😉 x

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

I think it’s happening Saturnalien. Something’s dropping away. Less illusion, more clarity x

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

What Star Inspired said… also I suspect that on some level Uranus/Venus peeps are by our very nature subconsciously attracted to the unavailable types – partly because the “mainstream” peeps just don’t get or feel insecure and threatned by) our needs for space/ me time/ eeling connected but not suffocated… sort of an unhealthy projection type thing (no judgement there, all relationships start out as projection of our subconscious shit/ideals onto another person)

NFI if that makes any sense…

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Oh and by what Star Inspired said, I meant in a post below somewhere… (“Their loss not yours”)

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

It makes heaps of sense, really. I left the only man who really loved and wanted to be with me because I was suffocating. He was lovely too.

I don’t think I would appeal to a *normal* person. I also have a 7th house Neptune, opp my Moon. sigh.

Starinspired
Starinspired

Oh God/dess C.S, we’ve all done it ie: Leave perfectly nice partner peeps… As Saturnalien so eloquently pointed out. There can be 5 hot interested available men in the room & the only one I want is that mysterious quirky seemingly unavailable one, in the corner who’s paying me virtually no attention at all. I guess that’s what makes him so interesting & hot! (Me: Sun conj Uranus, Venus in Scorp, Mars in Aqua.

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

🙂 I did lol

He was pretty quirky that guy, but still lovely.

Where’s your Sun-Uranus?

Anonymous
Anonymous

My Sun Uranus is in Libra in the 10th H, also conj Merc. Pluto is conj MC… Venus is in Scorp in 10th too, unaspected, but in mutual reception with Pluto. It’s complex 😉

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Oh yes, been there, done that too… oh to find that perfect balance of independent dude that isn’t an arsehole, or nice dude that isn’t a fuqing cling- on… *sigh*

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Saturnalien, my cat looks just like your avartar and she has your personality. When I read your posts you make me laugh as my cat has that kick arse feel to her too. She has the wicked eyes in your avatar and she smacks the larger cats around her to get out of her way! : >

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

So nice of you to share this Salacious Sagg! 😀 So many times I refrain from posting and am tempted to slink back into lurker mode because I’m notoriously bound to offend someone with my directness and not so humble opinions – and if I’m not directly pissing people off there’s always someone out there assuming I’m all uptight about shit when I’m just calling them out on some non-sequitur style of argument in response to a post. It’s seriously comforting to know that at least a few people get me and get some entertainment value from my posts! And,… Read more »

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

: > Heh Heh Saturnalien -yeah I grok where you are coming from. the thing is that people who truly “get us” know that we are just clinically speaking what is on our minds, with no thought of pissing off or offending anyone. I think what offends us is that which has a little hook in us too-though we may not like to admit it. It is much easier to find the poo on someone else than the blob in our eye!! I LOVE Mystic’s gift to US ALL by this site as everyone on it just beautifully fits all… Read more »

Veronica
Veronica

NO you’re not!!

Star inspired
Star inspired

Their loss C.S, not yours!

The 1st step in any relationship is to show up/be present/be available… If they can’t show up, then move on.

Your special
someone will make the effort to show up each time, repeatedly & re-commit.

Trust & Let go of all who are not worthy of you.

May the fierce be with you! :*

Star inspired
Star inspired

…& The Force!
😉

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

on May the 4th! lol 🙂

thanks sweet people x

Star inspired
Star inspired

Haha! Didn’t even twig… How hilarious 😉

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

Hahaha.. I like “fierce” better Star inspired!

ohh you have Sun in 10th like me and a Cap asc also 😎

I liked your comment about being attracted to the “mysterious quirky seemingly unavailable” man in the room.

Can relate. I’ve got Uranus square Saggo moon in 11th and Psyche in Aqua. I don’t get attracted to “normal*. The feeling’s mutual though. Haha

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

haha, may the Mars in Cap be with you 😉

Star inspired
Star inspired

Oh, Scorpbot, you have Cap Asc too?… What degree is yours?…& what degree is your Sun in Scorp?

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

😀 Cap Asc 3º

Scorp Sun 13º
Scorp Neptune 17º

That’s my signature. And venus in Libra 7º in 9th

… and yours?

I didn’t realise the time!! I’m wide awake (such a night owl) but must sleep. I have dreaming to do. 😀

whitewhale
whitewhale

Well toroqueen, aren’t you just gold!

And he’s a big nasty man.

You could care less that he’s pisces huh?

lux
lux

I have an Aquarius moon and I would have freaked! I need space!

emily
emily

I’m 31 and have only ever attracted older men like that. They are crazy overexited becuase they are just looking forward to the sex and thats what they think its all about. They dont have values or something and dont know it. This week a dude I see at a park when we walk our dogs was asking me to do really inappropriate first date stuff like going camping togethwr all weekend or driving around with him all day. Very intense and in my peraonal space the whole time. Hes cute and nice but clearly assuming something about me/women so… Read more »

Veronica
Veronica

I know, what ever happened to being courted??

pi
pi

Too much porn, poor role modelling from other males, self-centred thinking, impatience, not taught manners and respect for others space/existence, blind to influence of own ego…

Starinspired
Starinspired

So beautifully summed up Pi!

Yeah, what she said 🙂

Aquasunbird
Aquasunbird

Once I looked back into the past I realised I really could not have known then what older men knew that I did not…Still even though I’m older I know I’m not entirely immune to predatory people, however that’s what one’s instincts are wonderful for; if you feel vulnerable you can take stock of this and nurture and protect yourself. Then there are the people who return to dating after being in very damaging relationships and maybe are unaware of their own weakness and responsibility. I’d say everyone is entitled to grow, have a new chance at life in love,… Read more »

LaLuz
LaLuz

Stay inspired, detached and individual. — I will keep that. <3

Savannah
Savannah

Ok people’s I’m going to tell you a ill story……it started Christmastime 2010 in a very vivid dream. I was near a sea, the Star of Bethlehem was the only luminary in the sky. I was pulling fish out of the sea & flinging them back if I wasn’t happy with them. It’s taken me a few years and a few lovers, ex’s, even friends to realise that the fish were how I was about to assess any intimate relationships. I think I was coming to the end of Neptune transit at the end if my 7th house which has… Read more »

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Hey Toro Queen, At least you had a laugh and your ticker certainly would have gone into overdrive in shock and horror at said Gross Groper. Hope he did not breath on you-I hate that and try not to breath in their air. Only had this happen a couple of times and I escaped. Just “be” and do the things you love and you will be amazed at what comes to you. I decided to get used to being dateless and all of a sudden these much younger guys asking me out on dates! I actually looked behind me and… Read more »

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

I think I just decided to get used to being dateless 😉

S
S

Do they really turn up? I sure don’t want my ex to have been the last person I was intimate with. Just another addition to the lost highway boyfriend collection. The last time I was approached by a younger guy, I gave him my sunglasses. I don’t understand dating and I don’t even know when someone is interested in me. Clueless, dateless and never been to Seattle.

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

I don’t know but I’m willing to test it out! 🙂

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Yeah S, I dont understand “dating”either. I just enjoy people’s company and at times some of these “people” are guys who then show and interest in getting to know me better! It always takes me by surprise and I just spend time with them as interesting people- if it grows from there-great. If not it has all been an interesting chat. I dont even call them “dates”- I dont like dates-too bloody sweet! I call them just catching up with friends times! Much less stressful methinks : >

HipparaEcmerci
HipparaEcmerci

Ha. This explains my Pisces Moon ex and his nebulous stage exit performance. It was like the play that advertised to be in town for the third Saturday of the month; except when you got to the third Saturday, and you got all Freakin dressed up for a night on the town to see it, and you find out there isn’t even a theater at that address. F that.

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

Hahaha. 😀

Libra9
Libra9

I would have asked him for some of whatever he was on. He seems a bit selfish.

hummingbird
hummingbird

Hahahahaha

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Ha ha “Are you on something we can share? Or is it just a condition for one?”

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

lol! you made me snort water.

Andromeda
Andromeda

🙂

Pi
Pi

yeah, that’s gross. Step off, dude. He sounds like a very messy piscean… deservedly single?? but surely had maxed out his RDA for some kind of stimulant for sure.

how dare he bring shame upon our species!

Yes I can say “not interested, don’t touch me” in several languages… That’s a 9th house mercury in Pisces for you… maybe this pisces sun-gem moon guy needed to hear it in Farsi, Bahasa and Spanish before he got the message. Ugh your poor Toro /scorp asc must have been aghast.

Andromeda
Andromeda

Now that’s the feisty Pisces ‘tude I know! 🙂
Love the language angle!
‘No me interesas deja de tocarme hijo de puta!’.
Hm, maybe he would’ve loved it though, that kinda stuff can have the opposite effect depending on his Mercury.

S
S

The dating future sure looks bleak, that might be why I can hear Two Nice Girls singing “I spent my last $10.00 (on Birth Control and Beer).

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

well, goodness. dodged one. And yep, thanks buddy! although if your friend thought he was worth introducing maybe he was nervous. I have had many unsuccessful first dates and often afterwards I realise the guy was nervous. I’m just not into a nervous guy. It reminds me of a blind date I went on with a guy who leant in to kiss me on arrival – yeah too much already – and he STUNK. Like an ashtray. And I was a long-term smoker but have given them away so I am just not looking to hook up with a smoker.… Read more »

gemyogi
gemyogi

So many lovely middle aged single women… Just wish I was bi or could turn myself gay sometimes. Ha ha

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

I know, right? 🙂

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Oh you poor Toro Queen. Age is no barrier to being groped but being older or, as i like to think of it now, on the Right Side of Forty (the wise side) means you know it is disrespectful groping, rather than insane attraction to your awesome or passionate eurostyle affection. I sometimes wonder what some of my youthful dalliances would look like to me now, you know, the brief hot adventures, not the longer term affairs. Having said that I’m Venus in Aqua and if someone random looms over my chair i stand up and push the chair back… Read more »

gemyogi
gemyogi

Yes I would have karate chopped him at the first grab…
(black belt martial arts training and Aries rising).

Hi-ya (miss piggy)

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

He heh Aries moves toward, Aqua away? But i would love to see this date scenario on film, Gemyogi vs Pawing Pisces.

gemyogi
gemyogi

I’m up for it! Hilarious!

Toroqueen
Toroqueen

Yes, my girlfriends and I have had many laughs at his expense. The friend that set me up was shocked at his behavior as well. She was just trying to help (?). It’s all good. Regardless I am a happy camper and having a great time with my son, friends and finally feeling awesome in my 42 year old skin! Best I’ve felt in ages.

The dudes astro is 3/19. He’s a cusp pisces-aries, venus in aries, mars in Scorpio …

Thx for all the amazing commentary!!! Trying not to lose faith 😉

Richard
Richard

Gee, it doesn’t sould like this guy has many of the gentler Piscean ttaits of understanding, compassion, and sensitivity combined with a general spaciness. Though as a Piscen myself, and a professional astrologer, I don’t feel I have a full grasp of the duality of Piscesan nature. Yes, I agree, I must be living in anoher world not to understand my own sign better. Though the fellow described here may be a Pisces, I will bet $ dollars that his Piscean Sun is overshadowed by an agressive Ascendent and/or Midhaven. Or his Venus or Moon could have dominant and challening… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

As a Pisces it cracks me up totally! At least it contradicts the stereotypes of our sign which, i agree, make it harder to understand ourselves.

And yes, MC in Coca Cola could do that to anyone.

hummingbird
hummingbird

“MC in coca cola” still laughing!!!

Andromeda
Andromeda

OMG, I don’t know a male Pisces (I don’t know many, do excuse) who is not a flamboyant, twisted, drama Queen – are you the one? 🙂 The women I have met have been far more varied. But I really don’t understand the astrological version of Pisces in a real social way. Having a Pisces (Merc/Sun/Jup) dad, this behaviour above does not surprise however it offends. Flirting with my friends the minute I hit puberty, almost getting fired for being overheard chatting up a co-worker with ‘hello busty!’ (the co-worker was amused and not in the least threatened, another lady… Read more »

Toroqueen
Toroqueen

Hi Rich … His bday is March 19. Cusp pisces-aries. Venus in Aries as well.

Aqaleoscorpmn
Aqaleoscorpmn

If you had a grasp, it wouldnt be neptunian…

Miss Leo
Miss Leo

This sounds like a god awful Gem Moon spewing out of his mouth. The vast majority of Geminis I’ve come across have a tendency to NEVER shut up whereas Pisces get easily distracted by their own thoughts, or they’re so compassionate that they’ll listen to most. My mom is in her late 40’s and has been trying to date, and from what it sounds, it’s a nightmare for the most part. This dude may have just been super nervous? I’m in my 20’s and frequently give some of my guy friends dating advice because THEY get super nervous, and I… Read more »

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

Ah, Toro Queen – dating in 40s. As another single 40, I dropped the idea completely. The last one, an Aries, thought at my “age” (and he too was 40ish), he was the best thing in my life. Then there has been a Scorp who acts like a limp seaweed for the last “5” years – he disappears for a year, comes back, disappears for another year. Neither of these characters has had long-time relationships. A Toro divorced-dad colleague brags about his 20-something dates. He admits he is not interested in the concerns of his dates (getting married etc), but… Read more »

Pisces with Sagg Rising
Pisces with Sagg Rising

I’m in my early 40s, single and trying to get myself to get back out there…I can’t begin to tell you how depressing reading all this is….although yes, I guess you meet these types at any age, it is just more creepy when combined with middle-age.

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Don’t give up Pisces with Sagg Rising, as there are some great guys out there. Just be yourself, do the things you love and they will come to you. When I was blue and feeling like a potato in the dark that was growing whiskers I drew nothing to me at all…nada…why would I anyway as green potatoes are poisonous! Lordy, methinks I am losing it-no I am not on space dust etc. Just too tired, thank God its Friday! Anyway….we need to stop thinking our age is an issue..we need a mantra of somesort. Or maybe as sistah’s we… Read more »

AquaCrab
AquaCrab

MM: I’m an Aqua rising, Aqua moon, and yes…it’s hands off! I don’t know if not wanting to be rubbed down by strangers makes us Cyborgs, perhaps just discriminating about where and how we share our physicality. You don’t just *touch* a lightning rod Aqua, after all. It gums up the works.

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

That’s what makes you guys so touchable though. I like getting electric shocks, but i love giving them as well! Stay charged!

S
S

This sounds like a dating experience straight from my 20’s. Let’s just call this character “Fat Bastard” and if you say his name three times he will appear. A Pisces who would move coke between three states and frequent the cheapest salon in town for back hair trimming. I wish I was joking about this but it’s all certifiably true.

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

I’m finding it so hard not to say that 3 times now 😉

Good to see you S x

S
S

Simpatico with Calypso!
You know I was walking near the beach today and saw a Calypso ice block wrapper, which made me think of you. Your so refreshing to my soul. Hello CS How are you?

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

aw, so sweet! may you always think of me when you see discarded ice block wrappers, and may they always act as an energetic salve for your soul 😉

I am exhausted but very well and looking forward to a restful weekend under the dark moon. Feel like shaking some things up before the new moon, starting with baby steps like switching to the feminine side of the bed. Crazy times!

Thank you so much for asking S, and how are you?

S
S

They are one of my fav icy treats. Your not going to believe it but The Oracle was right. A Leo will come into my life, it’s a dog called Leopold. I am puppy sitting and it’s only temporary, but I love this hound.

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

ha, Go Oracle!! Maybe I’ll give it a second spin 😉

Dogs are uncomplicated joy. They make you stop and just be….enjoy those special love vibes that only doggies can give 🙂

S
S

Will do. The female side of the bed, that would be the one next to the bathroom and exit.

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

nah, that’s the male side 😉

actually that’s where I naturally went but apparently the feminine side is the left

S
S

Left when you look at the bed. Ah interesting and pale pink sheets to foster loving energy.

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

no, left whenyou’re IN the bed 🙂

must get pinksheets next 🙂

Xx
Xx

I got told it was furthest from door so the man can protect you. Seriously. I choose closest to door for quickest escape time

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Yeah, that must be why I slept there and had a large wooden thing to wack any intruders as my ex was such a wuss he would tell the brigands to take me and spare him!

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

However…. he was actually he really sweet guy..just piss weak! 🙁 But ah I guess in my season in life I needed him then and now the time has passed….

Ainslie
Ainslie

Poor guy sounds troubled.

Ariesaqua
Ariesaqua

Toro queen,
I am 23 and am experiencing this all too often in the dating scene.
Know your worth. Demand respect and only give your precious time to those You deem worthy, sounds stiff but Saturn being All on your ascendant I’m sure you can appreciate that statement.

Toroqueen
Toroqueen

Thanks Ariesaqua! Yep, standing firm on not caving in to anything less than amazing and worthy. This dude never stood a chance regardless. I was done within 30 seconds of meeting him.

flowerchild
flowerchild

Pisces dude was completely out of order, no question. What do you even ‘do’ with a performance like that? Luckily he just went away..

I’d say dating experiences like that will be very rare, not the norm….thankfully!

I’m single in my 40’s too, and not really looking to date, but I can see that it won’t be easy if I do decide to try to meet someone, so I can relate.

Good luck from here on out on your dating journey!

flowerchild
flowerchild

Come to think of it……I do have a few friends who are divorced single dads in their 40’s and I’ve seen them pull some weird desperation behavior in dating women, though nothing this bad. These guys have been friends of mine since our early 20’s so it’s sad to see them so wrecked from divorce/kids/middle age that they act like idiots when trying to get with women. It seems like they are just mad for sex and that their egos are so damaged from the divorces that it drives them to act this way……I dunno……I’ve never been married and don’t… Read more »

aqualunarian
aqualunarian

Sounds madly insecure if nothing else (maybe just mad). I agree with Mystic—there is something fundamentally disrespectful/controlling about getting up in one’s space that way…they aren’t affording you the status a person so much as relegating you to ‘thing’ status. 40s dating is a grim scene in many ways…I hate to agree with EEL but it does seem your choices are messed-up-recently-divorced or 40-something never-had-a-serious-relationship (I am doing this now and in some ways it’s like going back in a time-machine and re-doing a 20’s relationship: as much as I love him and am committed to putting in the work,… Read more »

Domestic Triffid
Domestic Triffid

EUW. Move to Italy. I would if I were in your position !!

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

Italian men are renowned for being the world’s worst gropers!

Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

Good LORD! How hilarious! It’s a good thing he scurried away.

I am thinking cokehead or creep.

K-Gem
K-Gem

Could he have been nervous and trying to cover up for it? He doesn’t sound like he’s coming from a position of being internally sound/ strong in himself. Maybe space dust didn’t help…and if you don’t do space dust, then you kind of already have your answer. Probably better that he played his cards up front, rather than have you dangling around to find out, as Saturnalien said, ‘he’s a fuqwit, not a Pisces’. I’d probably add a capital ‘F’ in there. It’s the 13th sign of the horrorscope for sure. Not sure I agree with you Mystic on upside… Read more »

K-Gem
K-Gem

Grokking and rocking the reality, I should have said, because you love being in your own skin.

Electric Eel Libran
Electric Eel Libran

Thanks for sharing Toro Queen! Yes, dating in your 40’s is exactly like that. Most of your choices will consist of A.) Bitter/angry/sad guy just out of his divorce or B.) Cray-cray never been married guy in his +40’s. Consider yourself lucky you didn’t fall for this guy. Pisces guys like to disappear a lot. Like when fish mate, they just fertilize and leave. I dated a Pisces in 2009 sporadically….would come on strong n’ kooky and then…vanish. and yes, I find some days I can’t handle this shit and just stay home, because I can’t deal with these bar… Read more »

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Yes to all this!

Ainslie
Ainslie

Are you really suggesting that anyone over 40 is only one of two types?

I don’t really want to kill myself but clearly I must be a loser. I’m actually LOVING being in my forties! Definately feeling the most sexy and empowered I have ever been.

Why do we need to define people by their past relationships?

Anonymous
Anonymous

She’s talking about the guys Ainslee!!!!

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

And even then she said “most of your choices will consist of”…

It never ceases to amaze me how many people misread things to suit whatever the fuq fits with their personal agenda.

Ainslie
Ainslie

: ) I’m not sure where your coming from?
: ). Of course loyalty is another thing.. If you think I was being mean then I apologise. I just think 40 is excellent : )

Why all the judgement?

Male/female

Yes the poor guy is obviously troubled ..

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

you’re right Anon, 40 is excellent 🙂 however the fish stocks do seem a little depleted and overpopulated by those that were thrown back 😉

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

word!

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

sorry if i seemed mean about it. I myself am over 40 so sure im a bit cray at times. im not immune to it, nor do i want to brand every guy out there as a crazy if he’s over 40 and still single. I think the reason people are harsher on them for once is that generally the women who are over 40 have been looking hard, planning our careers, working hard to keep our bodies and minds fit and young. While the men, not so much. It’s how you can have sympathy for someone who studied hard… Read more »

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Word

Ainslie
Ainslie

Whatalovelythoughtfulreply…fair call

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

right on!

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

and you know what? they’ve been feted all their lives, privileged for the simple fact of having been born male and they don’t think they have to try. We on the other hand, have always understood that we would have to work for the things we want. It’s a generalisation made on a white/working class axis of course, but you know what I mean?

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

Well said EEL. That’s been my experience too!!

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Ditto.

So many fuqing beyond fab single 40+ women out there…

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Wow! Beautifully said. What a pity I am not batting for the other side….

Xx
Xx

She said most…. Most I see it at work. Both genders. Everything from suddenly seeking Russian brides (because local women without language difficulties are too opinionated) to marrying some guy in Namibia who the woman had met once on a vacation to Thailand … Parameters are more rigid and you become less tolerant of some stuff as you get older. At least I have. We learn to guard ourselves, were more sure of what we want or don’t want and less likely to take chances… Or we suddenly take too many in the furious fear that its our reserved nature… Read more »

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

yes, the old if western women get too entitled seek someone from a less developed feminist culture trick!

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

ah, no offence to women from a less developed feminist culture x

Xx
Xx

It was the guys reasoning behind him choosing to go overseas. He’s in for a rude shock when her English picks up haha

AirOnFire
AirOnFire

Totally 😉

Aqaleoscorpmn
Aqaleoscorpmn

@xx damn that is so me, im too opnionated sometimes im glad when I meet someone with a language barrier, who am i kidding sagittarius rules my fith house im always happy if i do. In fact most likely have to be forgien for me to bang u at all.

If ur a borefest brain dead spoon fed MSM american propagandized dummy who think the terrists are all out to geht us- and spends 5 minutes over facebooks disecting every national tradgedy my 7th house Mercurial wood just wont rise.

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

If it were me, Toro Queen, I’d be irritated with my girlfriend (who set me up with a guy who has a coke habit).

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

I mean, low neptunian dysfunction? Fuq that, sister.

I hope she apologized…

Xx
Xx

It deserves a “please explain”… At the very least.

But then some of the worst set ups I’ve been on we’re instigated by my bestie. I swear the only prerequisite she saw was “male”.

This guy sounds like he definitely has powder related issues.

I got that icky sleeze shudder just reading about him.

Electric Eel Libran
Electric Eel Libran

Keep in mind that females think their single male friends are flawless because you know….they aren’t dating them!!
So of course they don’t know what’s wrong with the dude.

hummingbird
hummingbird

Yes well said EEL – has happened to me a few times – of course they’re lovely as FRIENDS!!!

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

oh believe me! I was assaulted with that shizz in Dec and again maybe a month or 2 ago! angry making!

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

We don’t know for sure that he has a coke habit though…

Porkchop
Porkchop

Poor Toro Queen! I feel violated just READING that, lol. Even though it wasn’t me that got the back rub. Ew!

Good point in the very first comment, though:

“Gotta be thankful when they’re transparent like that up front, saves lots of heartache later.”

Would be nice if he was transparent and not ‘handsy’ though.

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

The dude sounds like a fuqwit not a Pisces! But as far as the talking goes – Does he have Mercury in Pisces? In my experience, Mercury in Pisces peeps are the most prone to painful monologue style conversations. Gemini style chat is as much about listening as it is about sharing information.

Aqaleoscorpmn
Aqaleoscorpmn

Because mercury in gemini is still going through the zodiac.. They Need to listen more. People with mercury in pisces have been there dun that. So we pretty much know what u said before u even said it.

Veronica
Veronica

tO be honest, that dating hyper -Aggression is one of the reasons I ended up with a younger guy…it is a power dynamic, isn’t it? WHen I was a young soft thing (Am now a very assertive 48 yr old Aries sun, scorpion moon, Virgo mars) I used to get hit on a lot by men like the above description , heads of ad agencies etc often wealthy men, promising weekends st sioux hotels at Byron bay, and it didn’t turn me on one bit, I liked and still do, sincere, kind honest men (who are hot looking and really… Read more »

hummingbird
hummingbird

Here here Veronica – I’m with you

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

yeah, thanks! I’m definitely going to give that younger guy I thought was in a no go zone some serious consideration 🙂

Veronica
Veronica

yeah, you don’t have to automatically rule him out cos he’s younger…

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

Don’t talk to me about dating in your 40s. Your Pisces sounds like any number of men i have been out with. There is either the pawing you coked off his head (apparently) mania or the patronising arsehole holding forth on a variety of subjects with you as the apparently rapt audience in his lecture theatre of one. Last man my age i went on a date with talked for an hour about the sort of women he did not like, with examples drawn from his personal life. Women who did not wear high heels, women who went to the… Read more »

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

I agree TLS. I’m now in a long term relationship with a guy in his 30’s, and it’s divine. He doesn’t want kids fortunately, as that may be the only deal breaker for some guys.

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Hey Fluid, may I please ask how long you took to get comfy or rather stop stressing about the age difference? I am not trying to be snoopy-just wanting salve for my worried brow as I am worried in case I am being played with…:(. There is a 16 year difference that seems obscene to me… I adore Mae West and so identify with her thinking but when it comes to the crunch….I worry! I worry that I will give my heart and then be dumped for a younger model! Yet the other side of me says, who cares…enjoy today… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

Salacious , I guess there are no guarantees of permanence even when you are the conventional, appropriate ages as a couple…

My fella is 12 yrs younger, and it feels right, we are living together and committed, but was on my own for a long time before that , and I think I could be happy again single (i would miss him though :).

Isn’t Vivienne Westwood ‘s partner 30 yrs younger ??

Veronica
Veronica

that was me, Veronica!

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Hey Veronica,
Wow! What you said just jarred me to ma bones girl. Yes of course why the feck did I not bloody think of that, i.e :”guess there are no guarantees of permanence even when you are the conventional, appropriate ages as a couple…”…. Why is it we women can be so bloody stupid when it comes to matters of the heart?
Well, ah do thank you from the bottom of ma heart. : > xoxox

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

Hi SS and in answer to above, I guess I don’t think about age difference much anymore – heartbreak is a chance you take with any love relationship no matter what age you are. I do have days where I feel insecure, I’m only human 🙂 (Libran is v good looking – Mystic can atest to that, she’s seen photo of him.) Women notice him all the time; I’ve perfected the death stare or fuq you – he’s with me smirk depending on how I’m feeling (for them not him). He makes me feel beautiful and loves me, I know… Read more »

SalciousSagg
SalciousSagg

Fluid, the fact that he loves you and makes you feel beautiful is what counts. It is our “imagining’s and worries” of what other’s think that stuff us up. As you so wisely say heartbreak is a chance you take with any relationship no matter the age. Thanks so much for giving me feedback. Though after last night it might not matter. We were supposed to catch up and he did not even bother to call me and let me know he wanted to work instead! Methinks he is not that into me. I would have appreciated the courtesy of… Read more »

Veronixca
Veronixca

yes, well younger men can be pretty fuq’n selfish too!! They are not immune to being assholes : )

The thing is for you to not take it personally, anf keep your strength and shrug your shoulders elegantly!

SalciousSagg
SalciousSagg

Oh you make me laugh Gorgeous: >. Yes, I am trying not to take it personally-that it was not just wham bam G’Day maame! 🙁 Instead I am trying or rather putting on a show of shrugging my shoulders and attending to my Must’Do’s as I need to!! Trying not to give it all too much headspace. I have Gem Moon and he is a Sun Gem….so I can understand that scatiness….but good manners are very important to me and I believe in my word being my word of honour. Isf I say I will do something I mean it!… Read more »

Veronica
Veronica

very much earlier in our relationship, he didn’t call me back a couple of times, and i resolved i would never call him. And i didn’t. At the beginning, i didn’t see him regularly at all, and he would drop round, and if i was busy, i was busy. It took a long time for it to be a more regular relationship, and it wasn’t just cos he was immature, it suited me also

Anonymous
Anonymous

Hmmmm…gives me hope Veronica. Actually it does suit me too as I so busy that once a week catch up is plenty. I just don’t want to be played with. Like you I have resolved not to call…… I shall just wait and see and will keep my options open. As he has not declared any intentions I guess if someone else asks me out for a coffee I need not feel guilty or skanky?

Anonymous
Anonymous

Aaaargh…I cant see what I am typing until after I post it-so apologies for the typo’s!! It is also these long columns??

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

These are from me SalaciousSagg!

Veronica
Veronica

Keep your options open, I reckon.
If you want to have coffee with anyone, you don’t have to explain or account for it, why would you at this point??

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Yep Vivienne’s husband is 25 years younger, they met when she was 50, he was 25. Been together 20 years. Gives me hope!

toroqueen
toroqueen

Hey all! So right after my divorce, I dated a man that was 13 years younger than me. I was very happy with him. However, I never fully got over the age diff, and honestly … I went right into the relationship post divorce, so timing was off. I wasn’t ready. However, he was probably the most down to earth, responsible man i have met thus far.

Veronica
Veronica

my theory is that younger men are more comfortable with strong women cos of their mothers’s generation, plus wish ic could remember exactly the post, but a regular commenter said to look for a strong saturn signature on the younger partner’s chart, as it is an indicator that they are seeking the experience of someone older in the relationship…

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

My Libra guy has Moon conj Saturn in Virgo – but I think it’s true about the generational parenting thing: men in their 30’s are from a different planet than men my own age. And housetrained – Libra man (Toro rising) cooks! and he enjoys it, it’s not for show. I love his Virgo stellium – I have loads of stuff in Virgo 7th.

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Any chance of you finding this guy again toroqueen?

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Veronica, that makes perfect sense-that younger guys are used to stronger women due to their mother’s generation. However please forgive my duh skills in the realms of the stars… what do you mean by a strong Saturn signature?

Scorpbot
Scorpbot

His Saturn conjunct your Sun, moon or Venus… and vice versa. That kind of thing

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Thanks Scorpbot- shall go check it out 😉

Veronica
Veronica

yes, also for eg Fluid F’s partner has saturn conjuct his moon, ie saturn next to his ideal of the femenine…mine has saturn conjuct mercury and very close to mc

SalciousSagg
SalciousSagg

I went and checked Astrodienst and it says that we have composite sun in the 8th house, Sun conjunct Venus, Moon in the 4th house; Moon opposition Saturn and Composite Venus in the 8th House. Afraid this all does not speak as much to me as it probably would to you Astrofiends. Does this info bode well? The fact he did not catch up last night as planned, nor did he bother to call makes me wonder. I am no drama queen and just checked if all was well. He sms’d that he needed to focus on his tax for… Read more »

Toroqueen
Toroqueen

Sadly, no. But, I am going to stay open minded to all ages 🙂 I’m ready now!

SalciousSagg
SalciousSagg

Goodluck ToroQueen- being ready is a great start…let the adventure begin : >

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

I’m inspired to write a short story/self help book:

Women Who Smile a Lot But Only Because They’ve Had Their Teeth Done

Move over Clarissa Pinkola Estes, yah?

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

love it 🙂

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Can I put in a pre-order! 😀

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

hahaha! he might very well just have said “I don’t like women!” I know as soon as a guy says “i don’t like woman who play games” to keep movin’ and don’t look back 🙂

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

It’s the “I don’t like women who..”

hummingbird
hummingbird

Hahahaha oh yes TLS – I’m same as you – current is 9 years younger. Some women I know have told me “I need to find someone my own age” & it’s not like I’m not trying or have anything against it! It’s just I’m more in tune with the younger ones, they’re the ones who usually approach me & I haven’t really met anyone my own age I really like. Most are too boring/fuqed-up/etc – insert your own adjective here…c’est la vie & no complaints 😉 But yes dating in 30’s/40’s with kids is another world (I’ve been “single”… Read more »

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Yuk…I have experienced this too. Totally gross.

I like your ” Is there any wonder i am a cougar. It is involuntary, I did not choose this life. It chose me.”

gemyogi
gemyogi

Men who tell you all about the women they like, aka their personal rules and requirements… which is usually a LONG LONG list. Fuq em! Can’t be stuffed to even be polite, I will shoot them down with one well-placed cutting remark and leave them cowering on the floor. I’m personally really ticked off with all the ‘ticking of boxes’ shit. Love and attraction is not logical. You don’t love someone because they ‘have pride in their appearance’ ‘have a good job’ ‘are financially stable’ or ‘have no issues’. Total BS. Noone is perfect. We all have our pros and… Read more »

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Thanks for this gemyogi…ah sure needed to hear this. My answer was yes to all your points. Definitely love is not logical-attraction is most certainly not!!

gemyogi
gemyogi

You’re welcome Salacious!

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

lol, have some fire in your chart Gemyogi 😉

love that 😀

gemyogi
gemyogi

Well I only have Aries rising and Lilith in Sag in terms of fire. Lots more water and earth… but when I fire up, I lay waste to people and things!

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

strong Mars?

gemyogi
gemyogi

Mars in Taurus, Venus in Cancer

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

stubborn in a good way 🙂

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Ha ha glad you think so!

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

i would’ve been like….check please! gah what a bore!

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Re: all the negativity about cougaring. Totes double standards. Men with 20 or even 30 years younger women are envied. We used to call it cradle snatching. But as long as both partners are free and over 21, whose business is it any way? Personally I would date a 25 yo. I’ prefer if they were over 35, I think people who have lived longer are usually more interesting and we would have more in common. I’ve got a cartoon on my fridge of two women with one saying to the other ‘no Cheryl, you’re the cougar, I’m more of… Read more »

Veronica
Veronica

😀 Chinchilla!!

SalaciousSagg
SalaciousSagg

Heh Heh chinchilla indeed! I asked my guy why on earth he wanted to spend time with me when he would have way more younger girls after him. He answered that he found a woman who was confident in her own skin so attractive. That he could see I was happy and such a free spirit and that’s what drew him to me-just standing in line waiting to order my food! I feel sad for my kid’s dad as he is so sad and bitter and so angry that I am happy and free. He married his 25 years younger… Read more »

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

oh and you know what is irritating about the men with lists vs. the women with lists? As I’ve quickly found out, their list is often hypocritical. They’ll want a fit woman with a job, but they themselves are like 100lbs over weight and work slightly better than min. wage…or they have a good job sucked down by debt or prev.wife so it is effectively a min. wage job. ..or no job at all. They want the woman to pay for things too but they personally hate feminism because that’s what ruined their last marriage. o…kaaaaayyyyyyy….. check please. at least… Read more »

Gemyogi
Gemyogi

Omg don’t get me started on men who hate feminists or feminism. I was actually arguing about it with a young guy who, after being apprised of the facts, said oh well of course women should get equal pay… You mean they don’t? Duh. I think what these guys hate is strong confident women who are prepared to speak up and challenge the patriarchy status quo. Plus they want their women to have long hair and be pretty and unthreatening!

Aqua-cap-Gemini
Aqua-cap-Gemini

I’ve a Gemini moon… I’m like an old wind up-crank shaft car. Takes me ages to get talking, but if we hit on a subject, prepare to be taken on a journey to the fourth dimension. I am however an excellent listener, and my talking usually resonates after a long session of listening. Hubby is a Pisces, and our ‘dating’ was very much physical. We met on a naughty web site, we were there for the same reason, so suited us fine. What meshed for us was when we eventually came up for air and started talking (quite a few… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

“Takes me ages to get talking, but if we hit on a subject, prepare to be taken on a journey to the fourth dimension.” Love your way of expressing that!

Saggibee
Saggibee

Gem moon here as well, and I’ll rather sheepishly admit that until now I’ve never connected my moon placement with my confounding ability to talk, talk, talk when I’m comfortable. The combo with my Kataka rising results in a major internal conflict I have between my very shy, quiet and introverted self, and the one that can’t shut up.

Anonymous
Anonymous

I think that this really doesn’t require much analysis. The guy was a creep. Plenty of those around, whether you’re in your 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, whatever. Gotta be thankful when they’re transparent like that up front, saves lots of heartache later. I think he probably did drink before the date to get up the nerve, seen that with several Pisces guys (including the one who got so drunk on our first date that I had to drive him home). And the incessant talking is Gemini Moon all the way. Next!

Anonymous
Anonymous

“Incessant talking is Gemini Moon all the way.” Not true my sister is a gemini moon and she is the shyist of shy. It is really hard to get a word out of her. But as a cancer sun, her moon placement means she is more cerebral than emotional.

Ms.
Ms.

It is a bit typical of the moon though to be very chatty, your sister would be not the norm and maybe a softer merc placement as well as not being like the dude above. x

hummingbird
hummingbird

One of my besties is cancer sun, gem moon & yes when we get together even I can’t get a word in sometimes – & I’m gem sun conjunct gem merc! So yes I can talk too lol