Are You Really A Taurus?

Filed in Taurus

Vintage Taurus Drawing

1) A visitor to your home is rude about your living-room couch. You…

(a) Explain to the philistine exactly how it is an embodiment of style and current interior chic.
(b) Don’t care-who gives a fuq? It is just something to sit on to watch Game Of Thrones + a scratching post for your cats.
(c) Sit out the evening politely but vow never to have this person at your place again.

2) Employed in an office position, it becomes apparent that someone has stolen your stapler. You…

(a) Don’t really care-you can always get another stapler.
(b) See it as a psychic indicator that this job is not really you.
(c) Bring the entire floor to a halt until the culprit is found and forced to return the stapler.

3) At an otherwise brilliant party you are trapped with an amazingly dull and yet slightly creepy person in the kitchen. They are alarmingly attracted to you. You…

(a) Escape as soon as possible on whatever pretext is possible.
(b) Evoke dormant social-worker skills. This poor person needs your help!
(c) Flirt your head off-it is your duty. Beauty has obligations.

4) You think people who are embroiled in public sex scandals should…

(a) Be felt sorry for. Nobody deserves such scrutiny of their private lives, least of all paparazzi staking out their home.
(b) Condemned; without personal ethics what do we have left after all? It’s a short cut to the decline of civilization.
(c) Consider what YOU would do in such a situation. First rule, pay cash. 2nd; leave no trail of incriminating communications. Sexual appetites cannot always be constrained but plausible deniability is always a decent policy.

5) Running errands in a busy city street, you suddenly have a massive anxiety attack, complete with hyperventilation. You…

(a) Utterly freak out and book in with the first counselor or psych-person you can organize. Mental health is so-o-o precious to you.
(b) Blame crap coffee or the cheap scent of the shirty shop assistant you just encountered.
(c) Blame your hormones, get a grip and go shopping. Retail is therapy. Beauty is therapy.

6 In a relationship with a much-loved but low-lust person, it becomes apparent that this duo is simply not going to deliver the sex you require. You…

(a) Go on a massive workout regime so they will be unable to resist your pure raw personal hotness and read up on sex tips.
(b) Take them out for a romantic dinner and gently explain your needs, etc.
(c) Deliver an ultimatum. They either put out or get out. And by the way, it’s not as if you’re exactly without offers. Hello?

Answers: If you checked mainly (c) answers, then you are an official Taurus—a courageous Cow Person and, yes, a symbol of strength and solidity. If you checked (a) or (b) answers, you have other astro influences competing with your Taurean Sun.

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114 thoughts on “Are You Really A Taurus?

  1. Lol! As soon as I saw the first question it cracked me up! Ten years ago I bought the most fabulous couch on this earth. Nearly $5,000 worth.
    When I met my ex husband, he had a filthy $200 futon/ dog bed.
    He proceded to carry on about how hideous MY couch made me feel like shit, bit I still felt sorry for him, like “poor
    thing, my awesome couch has obviously made him insecure!” hahaha! Nightmare! It’s pretty funny, the other Aries quiz I had all but 2 Aries responses, and same w toro, but I guess I am a cuspian!!! side note, to mm or anyone who knows, does this mean I read Aries toro and Scorpio rising as my signs, and would there be different times of the year when I may be more affected by one or the other? And as I am scorpio rising , will this be an interesting week or what? I’ve been feeling like poo, so anything for added mojo! Any insights much appreciated! Xx

  2. My answers:

    1. (d) Make a playful but slightly cutting comment like, “Oh well… it’s a good thing it isn’t YOUR couch then.”

    2. (d) Get a new stapler and affix it to the desk with a motion sensor alarm. Catch the next culprit red-handed.

    3. (d) Show some basic human patience and kindness, which doesn’t have to equal “flirting.”

    4. (d) Be mocked publicly on the Daily Show and made into memes… i.e. exactly what happens IRL.

    5. (d) On a bad day… Tell yourself deep breathing will help, only to find out the over-oxygenation makes you dizzy and gives the distinct feeling of NOT being able to breathe at all, which promptly results in a trip to the ER, followed by a psych consult when nothing is medically found to be wrong.

    (e) On a good day… Let it go and get zen about it. Feel yourself merge with surroundings and with every single other person, notice small beautiful mundane details. Journal about it later, but get on with your day for now.

    6. (d) Celebrate, you’ve found your low-lust soulmate. Proceed to spend many nights snuggling platonically.

  3. so the guy on office space with the obsession for the red stapler is probably a Taurus? i can believe that!

    Me, not so Taurean.

      • yeah i like binder clips too. They allow me to change my mind at a moment’s notice. Staplers are too permanent, but I’m a Libra so that’s par for the course. Also, you can use binder clips to clip other items like bags of frozen peas, holding down table cloths in windy areas by clipping the picnic table, hold tents together, nipples, bookmarking, fixing broken LED night light, makeshift curtains, etc…

        • oh that was slick slipping nipples in there like that. i bet you are a formidable foe when you are redlining legal docs in negotiations yes? i refuse to believe office space Tom is a toro. water sign dammit.

          • What water sign do you reckon he is?
            A venegful Scorp?
            A dreamy Pisces who couldn’t cope with office changes?
            or a Cancer?

            I do <3 that no red staplers had ever been made, but after Office Space, they started making them because of the demand.

            • My gut instinct leans me toward specifically a pisces/scorp. He’s been humiliated but can take a large amount of abuse, since everyone believes he’s a gob, but he’s foreseen it all, from his double thick spectacle bi-focles! his motto: vengeance loves preparation kind of way. he did win afterall.

        • I like stapling. Must be the Toro/Scorp fixedness 😉

          I enjoyed your nipple reference too EEL. You must have something adventurous in your chart that transcends the Libran erotic MO?

    • I think we’re just weird about our *stuff* in general and the stapler is an example of how petty we can get over the stuff, kinda demonstrating that it’s not what it is but our stubborn Toro habits and principles.

      I’m glad I traveled a lot otherwise I may have been a legit hoarder. lol I’m pretty minimalist these days but my traveling isn’t over yet and I’ve moved a lot…

      Toro dad story: his siblings always talk about how when he was a little kid he wanted to have all the balls and just sit with them alone instead of playing with them or with other kids. He would just sit and organize them and try to accumulate more.

      • hmm, maybe I’m an outlier toro maybe not. But I reckon it’s due to a bit of the culture you grow up in, how you value material items in your life, and as you say a product of pragmatism you develop when you have to travel often (whether forced or by choice), or just moving around a lot as a kid. In that sense, I’m a minimalist too. I lived out of car (a wagon) for over a year when I took a sabbatical from modern life, just happy to have everything close to me that I needed to enjoy a comfortable existence. It felt liberating and got me connected to the earth and a native sense of use what you have, fix what isn’t broken?

        Trust me, there are definitely certain things in this world I do lust after, a 996 or 997 air cooled porsche, an bell wristwatch, but can’t afford it without having to worry about that. So why buy it if ya have that worry merde over you right? Rather I’ve always researched the heck out of “substitutes” that I could compromise on, then formulate getting the best budget, luxe, utilitarian example that fit my needs and my tastes and held onto it tightly, gave the utmost care while keeping an over protective grip…as in I’ll let you look at it but don’t you dare touch it! and wipe your sweaty prints off of it when you are done lol.

  4. I don’t know about the flirting or the sex but my family is heavy on the Toro energy. One toro sun, another toro moon and another toro rising. The 3 of them just stay at home, in their own little corners, glued to their computer screens, they only break to eat. Except the Toro rising, the whole house is hers and she’s very proud of the house.

    Me and the stylish-by-himself leo-aqua brother are like o.O

    • haha. yeah that’s what we do mang. i was staying with a close gem friend last year while i was on a sabbatical and she would say the same thing. how the heck can you glue yourself to the PC all day long? I would answer curtly as my concentration would be broken, yet with the utmost charming stoicism, I’d salvo back with I’m working, can’t you see?! here let me give ya a glimpse into my awesome lifelong masterpiece work in progress…she’d see some program language and charts are give me the look of bewilderment. Mind you she has this very adorable ignorance to the pc and just gauk at it. When she found about face time, it was the greatest thing ever! Anyways, I have half fire in my chart as well, so if I am adventuring or on the pursuit of my next meal, it is with unwavering dedication. won’t stop until something is accomplished, slain, or appeased. counter to that though, if i want to be a rock, i’ll stay glued until someone unglues me….

      • So, is it a Toro thing.. having an amazing talent for computer design. The toro/gem I have been hanging with for 3 years (PC control on how I refer to him) did a fabulous job with web design. Wanted to be interviewed on his concept / program. I really thought it would take off. Was so excited for him. Very smart, focused and determined. He is on the cusp but I see a lot of Toro from this side now. Dating he is more of a Gemini!

        I love reading these threads to learn more about others!


        • There has to be a predetermined savant nature built into us when it comes to analysis. omg the stare, i don’t even know i do it at times. gotta watch that. I don’t think I’m the brightest person out there but am pretty damned determined to figure it out. that’s how it is with the computer, always something new to explore or solve.

          I have a Gem psyche haha. predisposed to drive you nuts!

      • OMG we are life twins.
        I work from my couch or bed on contract doing the programming/tech writing stuff and then switch between that and my personal writing and logic projects. Hard for me to break focus or leave the house unless it’s something REALLY good.

        My Toro dad also works as a software developer from home and basically spends 14 hours a day at his desk working only to get up to eat and then retreat to the couch at the end of the day. He legitimately loves what he does and has no desire to have any kind of life outside his projects.

        • my dad was in computer science until the mid nineties then took a solo entrepreneurial career. Jupiter in cap and sq Mc in libra i think is what has paved his way. Eats breathes business but has such a cool head unique sensibility with a freedom loving spirit. Aqua moon Always balancing me out when i uh tip the scales. So def inherited the gene. though I think more in numbers and matrixes. Growing up, without the Leo mom we’d probably have starved. Always fun and uplifting to share a connection or are we stuck to a long sketchy fuse?. Astro or otherwise. Ive been so yuck venus chiron emo lately and just the twin word made me feel better so thanx.

  5. Well @ 6. It might be ‘c’ but el Toro was not low lust, but rather ‘ not here’ (LDL) so the Q. was……what are the rules (?) because I have needs; so he promptly provided what he called 2IC!
    And the “couch” we’ll, it was more like “a saddle” :0)

  6. I have trouble with 6. Always get trapped in these situations. Blame my Gem psyche I guess. Sometimes the passion of the intellectual foreplay what if scenarios just don’t transfer into the bedroom.

    As for the other questions, I’m about 75% C’s on those, but that was the result for the Aries quiz too. And I get overly protective of my office pens. my Pilot G4’s — do not touch or I’ll be chasing you with my stapler. All other questions or situations I’d have an escape plan…always.

  7. Had tripleJ turned down so barely heard the news about Chrissy Amphlett over the noise of the tractor. Thought I was hearing things and was saddened when I realised I wasn’t. So happy to come to this site and see so many others share my passion for this woman. I saw her at the Enmore Theatre back in the 80’s and became a fan for life. She will be greatly missed.

    As for the quiz, I would have had a perfect score 20 or 30 truculent years ago but I seem to have mellowed and tend to step back and look at the big pic these days. Mind you, I have had the same stapler since 1985ish and it is a Rexel Taurus and still in perfect condition.

  8. 5 our 6 were C’s so it’s official, I’m a Taurus. The funny thing is I have actually done answer C for question 6! He, indeed, started putting out more often. lol

  9. Only one C, beauty/shopping as therapy is nearly Leo enough, right?

    Love these quizzes though, esp the comments in response. 🙂

  10. Wonderous post, thank you Mystic! Sorry for my impatience x

    RIP to Chrissy Amphlett. A warrioress in life, a rock Goddess.
    A fragile yet staunch soul, an amazing wild woman.
    An incredible voice now silenced,
    Respect and kudos xxx

  11. Saturn in the second house, I am officially THINGY about my stuff (as evidenced by my long-running issues about perhaps reducing quantity of clothes etc). It took me a while to realise this, rather than perhaps judge everyone else as clothes-wrecking flakes who just can’t look after anything (“Serionsly do you have no RESPECT for the things I lend you / that you borrow? It’s not yours to lose / let lie around on the floor for weeks mouldering in a laundry pile / under the bed!!”) but when I do it it’s ok obviously lol. Then again Aqua sister, non-possessive, etc. Also scarred by libran Scorp frenemy thing who had a habit (I came to realise much too late) of stealing from me.

    • also, I have no idea what an anxiety attack is. I have jupiter-lilith conjunct in Toro. Maybe I cause them in other people 😀

    • gawd. numerous Pi comments. compelled to retract my statement re Scorp friend, as my thinginess about stuff long preceded my knowing her.
      The end.

  12. 1. C. All visitors thus far only compliment my couch/s, i guess there is some unconscious vetting going on.

    2. B. Have never, and never could work in that kind of environment

    3. C. I have an eclectic collection of crushes and lovers, many shake their heads at some point, and then sometimes so do i.

    4. A Nobody deserves that. and C. See answer to 3, better safe than sorry
    5. I dont have unexpected massive anxiety attacks, my anxiety is due to deep consideration and rumination on the vacuuity of all things , and the generally fuqed up world around us.

    6. C. With as much humility and kindness as i can muster

  13. 5 / 6 for Toro. Natal Jupiter in Toro trine Uranus and Pluto

    • Sexual ultimatum… Of course. I’m a Scorp! 🙂

    • Beauty has obligations…. *high five* x 100 with my venus in LIbra.

    • Touch ANY of my stationery/stuff and your DIE!! I get particularly attached to pencils (Mars in Virgo?) Someone pinched my special pencil once and it took me HOURS to get back to work and DAYS to get over it. My boss actually said “are you STILL carrying on about that pencil?” 😆

    This quiz was fun. I didn’t even bother with the Aries one. Toro/Scorp = Yin/Yang.

    • OMG lol, I sooooo do the same thing with my pencils! I have Mars in Virgo! I dont even let others borrow my pencils – I have a separate group of “borrower” pens – because the tips of my pens get their qi messed up from insensitive others. All my pens have their own delicate balance of push/pull, and once its been used by someone with a different hand weight, the pen totally loses its magic.


    This was my first and only couch I have ever purchased and owned from when I had an apartment of my own (no roommates) before I started traveling. Red velvet amazingness from Goodwill. It was a set of two crushed velvet brown/red Alice in Wonderland meets Snoop Dogg vibes and housed many a friend and couchsurfer. I prefered the larger one to my own bed.

  15. sorry to take it off topic but who was talking about Chrissy Amphlett here the other day? She just died from breast cancer. Sad. Such a Sporpy woman!

        • Totes.

          Now THERE was a woman who wouldn’t have given a fuq about a bloody couch, or a stapler.

          Emotional depth, courage and balls. Venus, Neptune, Sun, Mercury all in Scorp. MS AND breast cancer, with the MS making it too dangerous to have the normal pain/chemo treatments, I gather.

          To my mind, surviving the kind of intensity she did is a far greater achievement than the kind of placid strength that comes of being born Taurean (many of whom, in my experience, have the natural advantage of a sympathetic/parasympathetic nervous system that has a naturally low homoestatic set point, and an innate sense of self-worth that can border on the, er, smugly self-satisfied).

          Far more admirable to survive as long as you did in the absence of those things, and in the absence of material security, Chrissie.

          ANU refectory in the 80s: was there at every gig, in absolute awe of your capacity to shake up people’s perceptions of what a feminist woman should be. The young men in the audience were at once terrified of, and nailed by, you.

          Practiced singing to your songs endlessly while I was trying to get good enough to make a living from it – and thanks to you, I did, for a while, often singing one or two of yours as covers when requested by the crowd…

          “If Love was A Gun”: still makes me cry, as do a few others

          Vale Chrissie x

            • lol, you too, eh! Very early 80s – barely legal, I was, if at all but I don’t think they checked ID back then? She (Chrissie) would have been 21 or something. What a heyday oz-rock-wise that was – young Oils, Chisel, Divinyls, Saints, Machinations, etc….Some of my best memories ever.

              • ah loved the Saints! and saw Machinations at Tivoli many times. Graphic Arts club, Trade Union bar… great venues and many wonderful memories.
                And no they never checked ID back then. Good times!

    • You beat me to it Calypso. Very Sad news. 🙁
      She was an absolute legend!! RIP.

      She was Scorp with moon in Leo

    • I can still remember the Saturday morning I first saw the Divinyls on Sounds. I was always mesmerised by Chrissy. So much so I had my hair cut exactly like hers. RIP Chrissy xx


        it says on this that she did time in Spain, for singing on the street. She used to by pot off a friends of mine Dad, and im pretty sure she also did time with Candy Raymond (who was first woman naked on telly in Oz) for not paying parking fines (you could do that back then).

        She has to have had the most delicious mouth i have ever seen on male or female…

      • OH MY GOD CHRISSIE AMPHLETT ROCK ROYALTY WAS ON SPICKS N SPECKS AND I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT IT thank the rock gods for the internet and cosmic fleece xox

    • I saw Chrissie live (Divinyls and The Angels – what a gig!) around 1981/82 at the end of my high school years. ‘Boys in Town’ was the hit song then… what a gutsy rock chick she was. Sad to her of her passing.

  16. 4 Cs. but i really don’t feel like a stapler, even a shiny red swingline, can be an object of lust and/or possessiveness. so functional and non-sexy. now if they made one in velvet….

  17. It seems my Toro Asc is in conflict with Scorp Sun, Cap Mars and Libran Venus.

    If i didn’t like someone enough to absorb rudeness about my couch (which would just be somewhere to sit and watch Game of Thrones if the bed were not more comfortable) they WOULD NEVER BE IN MY HOUSE TO BEGIN WITH!

    Also, although I believe cheap scent and bad coffee are two of the worst things you can inflict on another person, they may only elicit reactions of distaste. I do not have anxiety attacks.

    The sexual ultimatum, I worded slightly differently 😉

    • CS totally agree with you. Hello, what skunk died for your fragrance? It’s times like these I wish I had a probiotic epipen to curb my reaction to this odor.
      Coffee, scents, bad service and bad music round out my top four shit-me list.
      Actual quote “I think you should get off me and take me home, because this isn’t working”.

      • “If you don’t have more sex with me I’m taking a lover. Plus I’m getting a vibrator. You’re paying for it.”

        • Ah Calypso Kindred Scorp, I hear ya. I see nothing wrong here.
          Why should we be able to ask for 1/2 the money for contraception and blood test results.

          • I actually did that with a pisces ex of many many yrs ago. in spite of the anger management thing he was actually had an acute sense of fairness (often what set him off) – I think it was his Libra moon. the Pill that I was buying was not on the PBS (pharmaceutical benefits scheme, ie cheaper version avail) so it was kind of exxy. So I suggested one day that we split the cost, since we both benefited. He agreed , no hassles. we’d been going out for a couple of years by then I guess.

        • Pi I’ve had these conversations before, they just don’t go down very well. Sexual responsibility should fall on all involved in the relationship, not just one person. Aries guy handled the conversation well, but Geminis noooo go zones and Libran too lazy to care.

          • Gotta laugh at all this. Have uber Scorp, but even I don’t do sexual ultimatums.
            What I HAVE noticed is the number of Toro males who have tried to crack on to me justifying that they don’t get enough at home (no thanks). Have also had a relationship with one who wasn’t attached elsewhere, having been attracted by the usual tactile toro thing.
            But what I see (and have likewise heard from friends who’ve been partnered with them) is Toro’s who get enough in the beginning (otherwise they wouldn’t have invested), but who have failed to see the connection between their own strange quirks/stubborn intransigence/failure to appreciate any one elses needs in other areas and the gradual loss of interest in sex on the part of the partner, as his or her resentment grows (as in: Toro goes: Me? Need to change in any way? Nah! Partner eventually starts snubbing them in bed because they feel too pissed off to respond to advances. Toro then decides they are sexually incompatible, completely missing the point).

            • Hi Fi, interesting stuff. Guess what I find is I say what I think and this is confronting for some. Why waste time, effort or energy if things are not working out in that department. The Pisces guy I was with and it was not happening with, I should have gone for the KISS test. If that is like being swallowed by a whale, do not proceed. Lesson learned and have never been back. Back in the day when white lines were on tables and not road. The day MM added this thread I drove past that house where it happened. I even said the words to myself in the car. Fn synchronicity.

              • not directed at you, per se – wasn’t sure where to put in the thread. Comments could apply to so many male-female relationships – he won’t help with housework, kids etc then wonders why she loses interest. That being said, I’ve heard too many Toro-specific stories with same theme over my many decades of life not to mention it: he/she was hot and affectionate but drove me mad and wouldn’t listen/was blind, no matter what I said, so I lost interest in bed and then it was my fault because he/she couldn’t see that his/her own behaviour in other areas had an impact on the level of my desire!

      • S, I like your shit list. 🙂

        Coffee and bad music are equal No. 1. for me. Bad service doesn’t bother me so much. People who chew gum loudly and with their mouth open – yes! UGH!

        What’s your astro – sun/moon/rising?

            • I have a theory which, your Rising sign doesn’t kick in until your first Saturn Return. I like having the Crab/Cap combo as it’s a stabilizing. Biggest learning curve is accepting your Rising personality.

            • Agree with you S. I just hated being Cap Asc. It wasn’t until my late 30’s that I started to own it. 🙂 Thank heavens for my Saggo moon to lift my spirits when I’m down 🙂

          • I think it sounds like a great combo! Lovely Cancer energies with Aquarian edge and methodical and purposeful Cap moon to keep you on track 🙂

            or something like that….what’s your take on it S? I like your theory about the Asc/Saturn Return. I certainly didn’t get grounded until after then 🙂 (Toro Rising)

            • I like what you said CS. Might have to write that down and start manifesting that description. Your very sweet to say that. Got myself a new tarot deck with a rose and clear quartz – this dream last night made me realise my intuition is called. It was right when I was being stalked but I didn’t know how to decode my own subconscious. In a way it was you that created that shift for me, so thank you very much. Peace be with you CS.

  18. Have Mars in the 2nd hse and yes, have done the sex ultimatum with more than one guy and the couch thing…that happened too. If you change stapler to an electric fan for my office, yes…I do recall an incident.

  19. taurus sun/scorp rising/sag moon – got 3 C’s. regarding the couch, I would explain how it is an embodiment of style and current interior chic then never have them over again. Oh … and I never snort at astro. totally into it! my daily routine doesn’t exist without this blog.

    • Ha! Same here. The last Taurean friend I mentioned astrology too said I sound like “one of those crazy hippie ladies that sell crystals at the markets”.

    • Once read in an astro book that Taurus folk tend to be more doubtful of astrology than any other sign..

      I believe it, but Geminis give them a run for that.

      • Really? Half the Geminis I know believe in themselves, as in, that they are great and awesome, etc. The other half believe in whatever seems interesting at the moment.

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