Are Cancer Men Players?

Antonio Lopez Eighties style drawing of a long haired muscular man being sought after by two different people

Are Cancer men players? Someone sent me that one sentence question, with no supporting details. However, anecdotally it would seem yes, It’s entirely possible that the females are also, but nobody asks about them in this regard. I don’t think Cancer men glide around the place being purposefully hurtful, but they’re empathetic powers (and ego) make it hard for them to say no. In their mind, they’re being nurturing. Some also harbor naff polygamous fantasies and others like to reap the rewards of being (often) muscular but with goo-goo eyes.

So I asked a Cancer guy whom I know to be very, you know, active this exact question. His response?

“You know how crabs in the sea hide under the rock, and all you can see is their beady little eyes glowing in the dark? I stay under the rock, watching, observing the politics and letting bigger flashier fish go out there and completely fuq it up. Then, when the time is right, I scuttle out there with a clear objective. Being a good listener and putting people at ease works in a variety of situations. Also, I can’t speak for all Cancerians, but I don’t think we’re that interested in conquest and girls sense that. It is all about the connection.”

So they’re not players or playing – they are connecting. But notice how they go to pieces when someone they’re interested in likes to ‘connect’ with other people. Are Cancer men players? Yes, but they don’t call it that, and if you do it, it’s more like treason.ย 

I could be wrong – thoughts?

 

Image: Antonio Lopez

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Samantha
Samantha

I’m a woman with Cancer sun moon mercury psche and eros, i don’t think i’m a player now but could’ve been considered that when I was younger – early twenties. I’m now twice that old. I always thought that my earlier behaviour was because of my Venus Gem and Mars Aqua. Maybe not?? My friends i’ve had since those days still think i’m getting lots but i’m not. They don’t believe me! I do love connecting with men. I have close Male friends who are Cancer Sun and Cancer Mars and Cancer Moon. Some of these friendships started off as… Read more »

Andromeda
Andromeda

Just realised!
The Phantom of the Opera is a total Crab Man!
Player – tick
Obsessive/mawkish – tick
Wears shell – tick
Wants to be the victim acts the aggressor – tick
Emotes lots – tick

emma g
emma g

Woah hold up. What’s a player? Regardless of sun sign. Surely a player is a person of either gender who is not out to conform to societies norm of monogamous relationship. We may be out there thinking that that is the pinnacle of relationship but before we find that, if we do, there are many and varied souls to dip into, to learn from and to watch them and us grow. Relationships bring many things. But if I know anything it’s a time as much as a place or a person that brings deep connection. I’m a cancer sun moon… Read more »

anon
anon

….and don’t expect them to ever tell you they love you!

Pi
Pi

having said all this, I have never been involved with a Cancer sun, only Venus / asc types. So, that might be nice considering the Kataka To Crush ratio is high for me.

flowerchild
flowerchild

One of the biggest players I know is Crab Sun, with Crab Venus and Mars flanking the Sun, 5 degrees either side…….DEADLY! He is a very close friend of mine and he’s gay, so I get to hear about all of his adventures. We joke that he is the King of Grinder (hook up site) ….but it’s really no joke! He is a total charmer……gah! He even told me once, ‘if I were ever with a woman again, I would be with you!’ Gah! …….He knows I’m in love with him and we flirt a lot, he’s just a very… Read more »

flowerchild
flowerchild

Oh, and I have Crab rising, so I’ve always been INSANELY attracted to Crab men, whether they are Sun, moon, or rising.. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Ainslie
Ainslie

Clearly I’m biased due to experience but again 4 out 4 cancerians, (women) we’re players and sexually unfaithful.

Strangelove
Strangelove

Not me

serenity
serenity

Ben Affleck, a cancer, found his true love in Jennifer Garner, late April (aries, sag decan). Quick marriage. Unlike his relationship with J Lo (leo) were he used the crab dance (not committing, until he was certain he didn’t want to commit at all). I don’t know. I have found cancers to be very committed. Cancer is my 7th house. My moon and mars is in cancer. I love cancerian men. Sensitive and very capable of role play in the bedroom!!! Cancer with mars in leo — they’re definitely players.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

ummmm …. Benny is a Leo through and through. His whole face screams Leo. Too good looking for his own good that boy. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Serenity
Serenity

And did you see ARGO. The ab shot. They had to sneak a naked torso of him checking himself in front of the mirror for a brief 30 seconds. He has a venus in cancer. Needs to connect emotionally.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

I’d connect with him any way he likes!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

VenusasaGirl
VenusasaGirl

Oh boy…Cancer men are my Kryptonite! I’m a Taurus Sun-Cancer Moon/Mars-Scorpio Rising. I LOVE their deep knowing and sensitivity, I GET their need to hide from the world, but I find their mood swings disconcerting. As a Taurus with so much Cancerian sensitivity myself, I find that I need more I need more consistently solid peeps – emotionally stable and reliable. My experience with Cancer men can be summed up with the words from The XX’s song ‘Tides’: “You leave with the tide And I can’t stop you leaving I can see it in your eyes Some things that lost… Read more »

Strangelove
Strangelove

Wow how fitting – love the xx. My crab sun and Venus totally resonates with those lyrics!

Strangelove
Strangelove

Also have Pisces rising so probably makes me contender for ultra flake at times, lol

Vuldaen
Vuldaen

My recent object of affection is a crab and I’m crab rising. I think we were both doing this to each other and other guys lol but because we both left it unresolved/unspoken, we both “missed the boat” with each other, so to speak (unless he breaks up with his new boyfriend lol). But yes, I’m inclined to believe this post whole heartedly lol

LaLuz
LaLuz

That was me…… Forgot the name login…

I AM
I AM

Y’all are scaring me….my current love interest is a Leo sun/PIsces moon/Crab rising….maybe I SHOULDN’T go for it??!!

P.S. the only Cancer sun I ever dated WAS a player…my Gem ex with Cancer Venus played games with love I.e. always asking me “Do you love me?” Never saying it first….don’t need THAT schizz all effing over again :/

Ether
Ether

That sounds like Gemini man….not Venus in cancer (we are way too tongue tied and shy to fishing for compliments)

My gem bff just barely escaped the crazy making gem man with Venus in cancer…..oh the stories and the madness….

The Venus katakas I’ve known have been virgos and toros……if anything they sneak up on you (sideways) and just get big eyed…..but don’t look for the highs and lows that our lovely gems seem to thrive on…..

Ether
Ether

I almost detest the kataka boy…omg…so gross. The irony is I attract them by the boatloads…..it’s kind of annoying because they are blessed with that sexy jawline…. I try suspending my judgement but every time they fuqn gross me out….. It may be my Venus in Kataka? Or my scorp ascendant? Or perhaps because my sun is Leo-and many have that dreadful Venus in Leo which might make me ……rather delightful in spite of my terrible behavior and don’t fence me in mantras? Moon in Gemini in my chart also leads to think I have NO patience for that disgusting… Read more »

gemyogi
gemyogi

Venus Kataka too. And I really hate wimps. But can be delusional about love interests… I am a master of intense crushes on people I hardly know…

triplehorn
triplehorn

Oh yeah! The jawline!

VenusRules
VenusRules

I’ve had two major, major Crab men in my life. One has a Pisces moon and morphed from potential love interest into one of my very, very best friends. The other has a Leo moon (a lot of Leo, in fact, Sag rising, and his mars on my NN) and is the most extraverted person I know, and “player” doesn’t begin to describe him — more like romantic rock star, even at 60 after multiple marriages. Both are brilliant, handsome, sensitive, creative, soulful, funny, masculine in a really good way. Both crazy attached to their mothers. And yes, I’d say… Read more »

Donna
Donna

It is sooooo true.

The player in question has 7′ Cancer rising- a Leo in fact.

His “naivete” was really annoying!! A real magnet for interesting and beautiful damsels in distress.

ARRGGGHHH I am finally over the magnetism after 7 years of Mystic’s love zombie therapy. Thank you Mystic.

xo

aqua lion
aqua lion

Sooky. Yuk.
Clingy. Yuk.
Manipulative. Yuk.
Sense of humour…. Good. But it has to be pretty amazing to balance the first three. Good dose of Leo can help (and hopefully a strong mother who didn’t put up with any shit from him, so he hopefully got trained out of some of this expressing-love-through-dependency Schmuck. Yuk Yuk and 1000 times Yuk.

aqua lion
aqua lion

NO more crab men, ever, thanks. Yes, they are a lot of work. Over that. I can’t handle the emotional manipulation, gives me the shits. I used to get either blowing hot and cold (randomly never know which is which) or else trying to guilt trip me about me being a cold bitch and not loving them as much as they loved me, as if that is going to work to make me feel any more for you. whatever. over all that shite, hope you (don’t) find someone who wants the manipulation…. or you could (maybe) grow up and be… Read more »

Dustie
Dustie

what about a cancer sun, with rising Leo & moon Leo?
He is currently breaking my heart after 6 years & a child….
I have no idea how to reach him.
I am sun Scorp, rising Aqua, moon Virgo

GeorgeSand
GeorgeSand

Wow, that quote is spot on! I have to agree completely as I’ve observed the same thing with my Crab husband. Women just love him because he treats them as equals and makes them feel comfortable in whatever the situation is. It’s, well, just uncanny ๐Ÿ™‚

catfish moon
catfish moon

I am a Kataka woman…..
My first Huge love was a Cancer and he was not a player at all. He was so devoted and relationship orientated. Still is. He married the girl he got with after I broke his heart at 17. 20 years and 5 kids later they are still together.

Have been with a couple of other Cancers. One played some, but really wanted girlfriend. Other had been a player but wanted to settle down with me. NO way.

Biggest player in my life was MultiVirgo. Good riddance.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Really? … well I wouldn’t know coz I’ve never found Cancer men terribly interesting as lovers at all. Even if they are hot or cute, there’s always something about them that makes me feel like I’ll get smothered or sooked over to death. Good friend of mine who’s a crab – married – well all the girls have a daddy crush on him. hahaha! … he’s a great guy as a friend but the sooky goo goo eyes actually turn me off – it’s just all too .. sooky goo goo.

Ether
Ether

Word

Virgo Ellie
Virgo Ellie

Ok.. sending a shout out to anyone who might know how 12th Scorpio is doing? I haven’t had much time to check when and where she might be so I apologize for asking the general public. She is a mentor and popular participant here so I was thinking of her. Anyone, anyone… ?? <3

Pi
Pi

you mean 12th house virgo, ellie?

bravepoet
bravepoet

ps.
It’s true about the connection. The reason I can be laughing (somewhat) at this point is there was lots of true communicating and depth of feeling.
And the comment about the pedestal crashing is absolutely spot on.

Not taking the point about their conquests being beautiful and neurotic though! Persish the thought! Just sooo trusting and an excellent catch! lol. Pisces and crabs go so well together – but it gets watery. Overly emotional is the pitfall to watch out for. Keep some fire in the belly and some feet on the ground.

bravepoet
bravepoet

Apparently! Just unburdened myself from the Taurus sociopath after 10 years. First real person I have been interested in since, and decided to dip a toe in with, was a crab who made me feel good – and woah! Next thing, he’s introducing me on chat to another girl he likes and also wanted me to hook up with his… girlfriend! Yee gods and goddesses! However, I’ve been married to a crab before – and he was loyal to the hilt. Until I found out he had been having it off with someone in our theatre company while I was… Read more »

Pi
Pi

lighbulbs going off all over the place. it’s ridiculous.

aquarium
aquarium

sure is ๐Ÿ™‚

hiddendragonqueen
hiddendragonqueen

blinded by the paparazzi, so many flashbulbs a-poppin’…

aquarium
aquarium

talk about popping…our whole house went out the other night.
was thinking pluto retrograde was some kinda turbo/nuclear merc retro….

SourPatch
SourPatch

LOL that crabguy sounds like a creep. My friend’s ex (and father of her kid) is a major player and selfish bastard…he had sun and mars in cancer though his moon is in sag. I rarely ever come across Cancer guys even though I’m a cancer myself, so I can’t say for sure. It’s probably not in the stars for me.

neptune 5
neptune 5

moonriver dreammaker

neptune 5
neptune 5

he’s a cowboy crab. his cowboy eyes and cowboy ways. tastes like dawn. still feels like new.

neptune 5
neptune 5

you can probably guess I am counting down the days till we see each other again. 3 weeks. keeping my grip.

neptune 5
neptune 5

oh i miss him.

neptune 5
neptune 5

I love watching one watery crab mars man make his move, building confidence, like dipping his heart in chocolate first, so sweet. they wear their armor like a glove xxx

Gine
Gine

All the Crab guys I’ve known have been the mopey, clingy types who are ready to get married after the first date. Definitely not players. I’m currently crushing on a Crab guy now, and he’s incredibly shy and nervous around me (which made me laugh when I did his chart and saw that his Mars is in Aries–he’s definitely very stereotypically masculine in other ways–appearance, loving sports/cars/the outdoors/, etc). He’s slooooowly opening up but man, the self-protective shell is a bitch to get through. As a Scorp, I get it, but, also as a Scorp…I see right through it. He’s… Read more »

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

The Crab/Cancer boys I dated proposed within a month and, were way too clingy and codependent for me.

gemyogi
gemyogi

mopey, clingy types who are ready to get married after the first date

LOLZ

Electric Eel Libran
Electric Eel Libran

exactly. I’ve experienced this too. Yuck. And yet i keep meeting all these women who are like…crab guys are so hard to pin down!
I’ve discovered that like Aquas they are similar in that the less you need them, the more clingy they get. However, the aqua does this because they think they are glimpsing self in you and get attracted by that. The cancer d00d thinks sugar-momma! Check out that apron I can hide behind!
You are probably a very independent and strong person.

A
A

Crabs are my favourite, I rip ’em apart and eat them for breakfast.

Crab boys are great too. Same idea. I love that they alternate between soft and hard, sooky and player, etc. but only because I really think they are ultimately very loyal people once you have connected.

The trick is not mistake their guileless gooey centre for a place of knowledge.
It is their personal abyss.
Once you are in you are the lady with a Lamp of Knowledge.
They know that and don’t know what to do about it, so it is very important to be kind with them.

Water on Fire
Water on Fire

You sound absolutely crazy.

Andromeda
Andromeda

In the land of the blind the one eyed is Queen, ๐Ÿ˜‰

WOOHOO
WOOHOO

Totally get this!

Andromeda
Andromeda

๐Ÿ™‚

Aquarium
Aquarium

Crazy? I think thats interesting. My boy turned 5 today and a mate dropped 3 little yabbies/crawfish around to replace his old pet one ,’Goodie’ that we lost a month back. His sister commented on how they never close their eyes ….and its true; after Goodie in his tank left, it was kinda weird not having his observational presence just there in his tank. it seemed quite wise and omnipresent. My gorgeous BFFdyke Kataka (with piercing exquisite eyes) has that same allseeing aura..she’s edgy but Zen at the same time. But more to the subject of the post, this for… Read more »

Aquarium
Aquarium

scusi..those astro-Goethe examples are bit afterdinner Aqua in obtusity..hmm.. The Scorp foot ref came up after a really pretty girl posted a pic of her new nail colour or something on instagram..I think Scorps have quite distinctive cute tootsies, but a whole bunch of commenter(haters) were mean about them…the internets can be a downer sometimes.. oh and ‘small farm leos? ..I have a (call me crazy) idea that very few Leonics tend to be vegetarian..I’ve gathered the main meme here is that the veganism is a Haute/low ideal?..I tend to see it as more individual sign related.. no-one should tolerate… Read more »

Andromeda
Andromeda

Mm-mm, this Leonic was veggie, until the call of the wild brought me back to the jungle. It’s okay to live off the lives of others, just do it with love! No. 1 is a Cancerian boy. He is an angel. By that I mean, he is neutral. By that I mean he doesn’t understand ethics. By that I mean he is difficult to corral when it comes to logic. All is equal within the One, there is no ‘bad’ or ‘good’. But a child cannot have this view point on planet Earth without getting into some mischief. But what… Read more »

aquarium
aquarium

๐Ÿ™‚
nicely put

Personally I’ve got absolutely zilch in the Crab other than a Progressed MC.
and I’m not sure what to make of that…
tho I like to make snapsnap decisions …sometimes ๐Ÿ™‚

Is that a Mongolian pony in your gravatar Andromeda?
I’ve wanted a Fjord horse for years..Similar ancient horse genes.
I LOVE them ..and lavender Araucarnas ..
got the chooks but there are very few Fjords in oz…
they’re like a compact Clydie with that lovely workinghorse nature.

Quintile
Quintile

http://astro.cafeastrology.com/cgi-bin/astro/comp2f

Oops forgot the synestry calculator link – WARNING synestry addicts and love zombies steer clear

Quintile
Quintile

And yes he was a player – conspired to get me and his FWB together in a bar – urghh

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

How can we resist after your advance warning? ๐Ÿ™‚

Quintile
Quintile

“Chesty cancerians” ๐Ÿ˜‰ this so matches The Libyan – cancer moon – scorp mars from last year (no it didn’t pan out if anyone is interested) – he soon scuttled for cover hehe Addicted to synestry : We had AMAZING synestry ( try this – no don’t if you’re an LZ) like a score of 2000 but argued all the time (too alike?) First strong cancer placement in a man for me – so this thread has been illuminating. I’ve met someone since my progressed Venus entered libra ( after 35 years in virgo – seriously!) early this year –… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

That’s wonderful, q! Your Pisces rising and moon must make lovely aspects to his sun. I remember Mystic saying once that moon-sun conjunctions in partnerships mean lots of compatibility.
Did you notice any energetic shift with your progressed Venus changing signs? (Apart from meeting Mr Hot of course ๐Ÿ™‚ ) I can’t get my head around progressions. My progressed ascendant is about to move into Libra after being in Virgo just about all my life.

Quintile
Quintile

Bless you C – and he seems (mostly) a high Piscean – yes we have sun conjunct moon and sun opposite sun – met him a few weeks before the prog Venus changed signs and first kiss pretty well on the change date.

Defo worth getting prof advice on this stuff – as I understand it progressed asc is important. I have 100% noticed the difference – I am suddenly so easy going, charming, relaxed with him – OMG you having prog asc in virgo for years – no wonder you have been ‘shedding’ this last few years *hugs*

Quintile
Quintile

PS I thought it was the feng shui – then found out about the progression – perhaps the feng is a per-cursor – you were so right when you said it got you loving your place again – I have felt that many times since the changes in feb x

bull with sting in tail
bull with sting in tail

a clacking sound ?

bull with sting in tail
bull with sting in tail

that was reply to Strangelove

Strangelove
Strangelove

Lol

AirOnFire
AirOnFire

Was married to a low crab (with low scorp influences) and perhaps unaddressed mental issues – now will not go near a crab guy.. No offence to any lovely crab people here, just a serious case of low crab/scorp induced PTSD.

Although the only thing my ex was not guilty of was being a player. Maybe this tendency translated into fuqing with my mind like you won’t believe.. He was an evil genius of psychological/emotional abuse.

strangelove
strangelove

what if it’s two crabs? crab on crabette? ahhhhh!!!

GemCrab
GemCrab

I find that the female normally tires of the male crab first.

For me, it’s just too much with the moods! I can’t date a guy who is moody in the least because I’m fairly moody. I require balance, almost a stoic partner. I do very well with men who have strong Aqua, Cap, and Libra ascendants, moons, or mars.

Don’t know why for others but I have seen it play out that way a number of times aside from myself.

Di
Di

I had two crab parents – mother totally overpowered my father and outlived him by a long shot – but he was a player but always thought it was because my mother was such a strong person. And my man is a crab – such a lovely gloriously loyal and sensitive person – understands my Fishy moods. But they do go into their shell at the first sniff of any trouble….

Libran daring to dream
Libran daring to dream

No, not in a negative way!

Libra9
Libra9

Spent the best part of 3 decades with a Crab man. Not a player but very loyal and treated me well, although many friends disagree. Finally we called it quits. Lots of reasons.

Saggibee
Saggibee

My most recent experience with a Crab dude came in the form of a friend turned one-time-hook-up (which happened a long time ago). I’d say he was a player, but I don’t mean that as a compliment. He was very emotional, and emotionally immature at that. He was in a relationship with a wonderful Cap lady for a few years and acted up all throughout it (he was very jealous of her artistic success), then when she ended it, he wouldn’t shut up about how much he missed her and loved her for a good part of a year. It… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

They are ok if you are a good human, and I mean that. Depends what you project and play back imo, but maybe because I am scorp there is an authenticity war going on and they like the never ending onion and something always out of bounds to observe element

Pi
Pi

I didn’t quite understand the last line there, but i am going to take the rest as though you know, water responds depending on what you throw at it? like a personality-magnifying mirror (ALL YOUR FLAWS MADE LARGER! lol *sigh* but who am I to reflect someone’s flaws back at them? they’ll figure it out one day, it’s not my job to ‘correct’ them) if so, then i get it. i am fine with authenticity. then again, as a mutable pisces with mutable gemini asc, i also get that authenticity can be many things at once. as well as something… Read more »

Aquaria
Aquaria

Oh at the last paragraph. So over having to rethink every sentence 3 or more times before putting it out there in fear that I earn myself some silence.

My Gem Asc and Mars wants conversation, but urgh not that stupid “hi how are you” “fine” “fine too” “oh look, we bought the same thing here, haha” “haha” “See ya”

Gotta move, gotta move – bullschlacken is not my idea of friendship and ya cannot force people.

Anonymous
Anonymous

get out now. aqua/cancer is eventually cancerous and everything will be ‘all your fault’

Pi
Pi

I think my Kataka rising friend was a bit miffed that I wasn’t as crying/upset infront of him as I could have been re a recent v sad thing. Little does he know, I cry in front of NO-ONE. Cap moon trumps all emotion. (Except my mother and even then it’s once a decade.) I mean, I was pleasantly surprised that he was prepared to Power-Care. But still.

S
S

I am in therapy and I’ve made the decision not to love again. I can’t handle the fallout.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Noooooo!!! Ok, ok, I understand that you need to be where you are right now.. but, NOOOOO! Love carefully but don’t not love as a choice, it is a resounding decision against an impersonal life force as much as your personal growth!

S
S

I have PTSD and this can be a challenge for someone else to accept. It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a while. Don’t want someone to be hurt by myself or vice versa. Self protection means not placing myself in any form of intimate relationship. My experience has been people find out your defect and run. Thanks for your thoughts.

Pi
Pi

I’m sorry you’re suffering in several ways S. I hope things feel better for you soon. x

S
S

It is a very long road, I am in the process of working out how long I can go it alone. I don’t meet many kind people in this world but believe me when I say your a treasure Pi. Thank you for being sweet to me.

aqua lion
aqua lion

give yourself time, never say never.
Fine, no relationships for now, for godsake that won’t hurt you. I’ve been single for ages and it really doesn’t bother me at all, lots less of other people’s drama to deal with.
But I still never say never…. you never know what could happen. There is a Pablo Neruda quote I can’t remember about fools doing certain things… one is deciding never to fall in love again.

S
S

Not a chance. I got f’d in a whole new way. He played me for fool and I am not letting myself feel love again.

Empowered Kataka
Empowered Kataka

I’m sooo loving all the Kataka post. Well I guess I was a player just waiting to meet the girl I really connected with and simply trusting my instincts. I’m a crab boy with Leo my rising sign and my moon in Capricorn.

Yes a player once but fiercely loya, loving and caring l to my beautiful gal who is a Gemini and we share the same rising Leo sign. Life is indeed awesome!!

calypso scorp
calypso scorp

yay for the promised Torofest ๐Ÿ™‚

Rising & Moon ๐Ÿ™‚

Lucy
Lucy

C’mon S, it’s good to love but figure out what the pain is teaching you and then allow someone to come into your life that is available.

You sound like you have a big heart.

WOOHOO
WOOHOO

My beloved Crab man just returned… He was a player. Thanks for the reminder.

I’m a Crabette! Used to play, but now I want a “for lifer”.

*sigh*. Again I type two incompatible statements.

Maybe I should just get rid of him for good…………

S
S

I so understand Woohoo. I’ve loved someone for over half my life and it will never be. It hurts so much.

hiddendragonqueen
hiddendragonqueen

he returned??? i know it’s probably improper, but woohoo, woohoo! ๐Ÿ˜€ enjoy ๐Ÿ˜€

WOOHOO
WOOHOO

I should really say “returning”. New job. Moving back and making plans and wedding jokes (?!?! what is THAT about). Set a date to see me.

Let’s just see I he follows through. He’s wrapping up his old life and I have a heart circled at the end of the month.

I am wary.

And have been continuing to look at other options ;). Oh god…. Did I just say that on a Cancer’s are Players post!

Aquaria
Aquaria

How do you play a player?

S
S

Grab a copy of “The Game: Penetrating The Secret Society Of Pickup Artists” by Neil Strauss.

Pi
Pi

you don’t buy their crap. if they’re too smooth, too perfect, too everything: player. in my books. Chances are if I fall for them I am not the first and I won’t be the last. then i run away (after dealing with feelings of disappointment and unrequited love/lust)

Pi
Pi

“trust no one, question everything” … my mantra about love. and players.

Libran daring to dream
Libran daring to dream

no need to play or you end up playing yourself, imo.
i’m compassionate toward players, they can be players because of circumstances or reacting instead of proactively shaping the course of their life. they may not know how to be any other way. time is a factor also (real grown ups are emotionally mature and dont need to manipulate).

Aquaria
Aquaria

Not really interested in “playing” in that way, ie pua.

More like, suavely putting a full stop to “suave bullschlacken” without actually having to make a huge discussion out of it. I happen to like the person in question, I’d really love for him to stop without alienating what could be a great friend. And helper for future goals.

Fi
Fi

Bet he knows you think he may be able to help you in the future. Hence the playing: fact he senses you might need him gives him a sense of power, and temptation to treat you without proper respect. He could well be a tap-dancer. They dangle carrots, explicitly, or otherwise – they’re often are good mind readers who can see you think they might have a carrot they could give you in future, and they use that, to get what they want, even if it is only the fun of playing. But they don’t deliver, or only deliver inconsistently,… Read more »

Aquaria
Aquaria

@Fi Oh I am sure he knows, I didn’t make that much of a secret out of it, even if not saying anything directly because theoretically I have another couple of months of “bureaucratic red tape”. And well I’d lie if I’d say he ain’t giving me nothing. But I have the hardest time with the inconsistent behaviour and the bouts of ignoring alternating the “hey I like you”. Universe knows, I wrote him an e-mail acknowledging that he was right about something and thanking between the lines in a cheeky way and I get … the silent treatment. And… Read more »

Fi
Fi

good on you. sounds like there’s not that much to like, on a personal level… like gemyogi said, just walk away, in that case.

Aquaria
Aquaria

I am stuck there for another couple of months at least, maybe a year. Not going to toss away all the hard work I did so far, no way. Besides, who is going to teach the younglings to take no crap from men? But I don’t have to engage, it’s my choice where my energy goes, no? I can choose to give you exactly what your actions show you want. Honestly, I do have to give credit tho, without him I wouldn’t be the person I am today, funny enough his weirdo treatment of moi made me calm and a… Read more »

gemyogi
gemyogi

Just walk away…

Lexicorn
Lexicorn

I have experience with a couple of very handsome Crab-men and… PLAYERS… totally. But I have to admit, I kinda love it. Like everything Cancerian, they do it with SUCH EARNESTNESS. It is sort of adorable. And hysterical to watch. It is almost a performance piece. Like they’re taking “player” in the theatrical sense… to act… to act the essence of man-hero.
Honestly, the endless compliments, the intense attention to your words and needs, the long soulful contemplation of every sentence… It’s a free show, right there at your table.

RA
RA

Yes! That’s what it is – performance art!

Plus the water-lack-of-boundaries thing. Fantasy land.

Pi
Pi

THIS makes total sense to me re my Leo friend with Crab rising. The attending to needs, the listening and ‘there-ness’, omg the ‘long soulful contemplation of every sentence’ LOL fuqing hell. It’s like I have discovered the Key To The Literate Leo. HDQ and someone else up ther also really resonated . And he is SO wounded – like, is deeply affronted – if he believes he has been misunderstood as a person, or feels I am trying to put him into a box. Like, hackles rise, if I (presumably others too) don’t ‘get’ him. It’s like a driving… Read more »

leogroover
leogroover

Describes my SO to a tee and me too – well jsut the good bits Fi.lol. enigma is so true, combine Leo ego with kataka senistivity and you got trouble. He hates being called sensitive but I love these aspects too. he is very intuitive and warm and I can handle his ego.

Pi
Pi

yes it’s def not all bad x

hiddendragonqueen
hiddendragonqueen

omg the HACKLES.

Ms.
Ms.

๐Ÿ™‚

though I have moved on to Capricorns myself of late..
still love a good crab

Fi
Fi

Lol, Lex, only met a couple, but that is them to a tee!

Definitely a performance piece. But adorable???

To me, a big turn off, and insulting, really, since it assumes you are a sucker for adoration who sees nothing either

(a) fake + desperate, or (more likely)

(b) fake + vaguely machiavellian (driven by ulterior motives)

about putting someone you hardly know on a such a pedestal!

electric eel libran
electric eel libran

just bring melted butter, crab shell zipper/cracker and lobster bib to bed.

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