The Lana Del Rey Birth Chart Is a Lilith-Pluto Symphony

Lana Del Rey Nicole Nodland L'Officiel 2013The Lana Del Rey birth chart is a story of Lilith, the Renegade. Del Rey’s Gemini Sun is conjunct Lilith AND she is a Venus-Pluto woman. We already talked about Lana Del Leo’s astrology right here.

She has a Gemini Sun/Lilith conjunction, giving her an innate ‘outsider’ edge. Lilith was the first wife of Adam in prototypal bible stories. She is the Whore of the Madonna-Whore complex, the Snake in the Garden of Eden, the descendant of the Babylon-Era Snake Goddesses. Lilith was quite literally demonized. Lilith speaks for the marginalized ladies of the night and girls on the spectrum. She’s every ‘fuq it, I’m out of here,” woman on the road, driving all night to escape an abusive relationship. She’s Amy Dunne in Gone Girl or Odile in Black Swan

When The Sun Is Your Ruler And Neptune Opposes, There Is Always A Dealer Or A Shaman Around.

And, Lana Del Ray has Venus conjunct her Ascendant with both square Pluto Naturally, she has “trust no one” inked on her right hand. Pluto square Venus/Ascendant doesn’t trust anyone and usually with good reason. 

But probably the signature alignment of the Lana Del Ray birth chart is her Sun-Neptune opposition. She is now sober, having dealt with drinking issues early in life. When the Sun is your ruler and Neptune opposes, there is always a Dealer or a Shaman around. She has Mars in Capricorn, the Mars sign with the strongest work ethic outside of arguably Mars in Virgo. 

Lana Del Ray’s Lilith Is Pure Swamp Witch

Her Leo Rising means she’s a Performance Leo, Gemini Sun or not. They’re self-created big-glamor cats. And Lilith is pure Swamp Witch. That’s a compliment. Primordial sorceress genes are an asset in any jungle.

Her Leo Rising, is, however intriguing. She was once the most beige Lizzie Grant but then made a command decision to recreate as the more theatrical Lana Del Rey. She did this when Saturn crossed her Ascendant and Pluto was conjunct her Neptune, the notorious quarter-life crisis. It was half canny commercial move (Saturn) and half creative awakening/disillusion/the end of naivety. 

Marilyn Monroe was Leo Rising, with Lilith and Neptune conjunct her Ascendant. She likewise spun up a new version of herself at Saturn Return.


Image: Nicole Nodland L’Officiel

Notify of
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Shebjust tweet day ago that she is actually a cancer. Plot twist! Don’t shoot the virgo messenger. xoxo


I am a Leo with a Pisces moon. I am constantly recreating myself.
Lana is like a modern Marylin. She also reminds me of Audrey Hepburn, the way she speaks.. I knew there must be many similarities between them!


This article is quite interesting on Lana / Lizzy. Most of it is from The Guardian.

I just watched a couple of her videos. She doesn’t look like she is actually singing.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it isn’t actually her voice. The lengths that the entertainment industry will go to to make up these personnas for public consumption is extraordinary.


Well, most artists don’t sing in their videos– they’re lip syncing. Lana most definitely sings her own songs. There are a bunch of leaked bedroom demos out there from when she was Lizzy Grant, before she was backed by any record companies or anything. It’s the same voice. Lana is most definitely her own creation.


I just want to add there is no official birth time of Lana/Lizzy yet:(


She’s a fake and a flake. Too much marketing.
I don’t see any authenticity there


where is the authenticity in making pointless annonymous comments? shoo


Oh lighten up!!!! We’re all anonymous here.

Happy now? That I typed a name in the little window?


congrats on no longer being annonymous. now try not being pointless.




TBH I think its a fair enough comment about Lana Del Ray – everyone doesn’t have to agree with the blog post – that’s why there are comments 😉


why thank you Quintile 🙂

Who decides what’s pointless anyway?

I find half the comments on the blog pointless!

And why is it okay for people to applaud David when he tells people to “fuq off” when they disagree with him or post anonymously but not okay to express any opinion that differs from the crowd 🙄


DIA you’re an ass. What this anon had to say was valid. Shame your comment wasn’t.


I’ve never really wanted to change my name (Kyra), which is not so unusual now but was pretty rare while I was growing up and which caused lots of people to mispronounce it – which briefly made me want a more popular name (I have never found pens or stickers or pins with my name on them, which mattered to me when I was 7). There was a time a few years back when I wanted to start using my first and middle name together, as my mom had intended when she named me, but it felt wrong – like… Read more »


Funny you mention this Mystic as I just watched a doco about Pat Benatar and how her whole persona (not name, just image) transformed after Halloween 1977, when she wore her Halloween Costume on stage. She left her opera singing days far behind and became a tough-girl rock princess. Might be interesting to look at her chart for that one.

Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

I think there is definitely power in changing one’s name, look or identity. It’s about embracing the fact that we CAN create our own realities (to a point of course). It can const nothing—e.g. From now on I wish to be known as Snorri the Great! and it changes the way the world relates to you and vice versa.

I recently chose to embrace a new lifestyle (lone wolf), independent, ditched the baggage, totally new look and I’m loving it, it can be very freeing.


After speed-processing my separation & property settlement (in a 10 week period), I added my maiden name to my married name at the end of February – only keeping the married part for my 11 year old son. Part of my journey over the last 5 years had been identifying “losing myself” and that included my personal identity through what I enabled in my marriage. It’s an horrendous hyphenated surname now… but I don’t care – it feels so right! And even with Merc Retro, so many good things are happening for me in my life (psychology & cranio sacral… Read more »


I legally changed my name in 2008. I had been wanting to do it for awhile. My family were cool with it. I’m not very close with them anyway. I know it changes the numerology, but I picked a name that meant something to me beyond the numerology. I’ve embodied my new name more and more, but sometimes I feel like a stranger to myself, but I don’t resonate with my old name, either. Sometimes I feel like I have no identity and that I’m invisible and with only very tenuous ties to others. It’s all very weird….. I don’t… Read more »


Well this is weird. On my list today is ‘find out how to change name’. I took my husband’s name some years after we married. It was my decision… it was about killing off a character I was done with and starting anew. I also had hopes for the ‘teamwork and shared dreams/goals’ that the marriage might bring. Fast forward ten years and I am now known creatively and professionally by this name. The marriage amounted to nothing and one of the biggest violations I feel is that I allowed myself to change my identity to something that links me… Read more »


wow – so gutsy – I have a very ordinary (though likeable) first name and surname, but interesting middle names. I tried to go by my middle name for a while during my 20s but felt self-conscious, as I do about my real name. A fab chance C to really re-invent yourself formally, because, as you say, us piscean types are already multifaceted xx


Oh thanks q, just catching up on this thread… it doesn’t feel gutsy but I am resolute. Interestingly it took me only a day to settle on my new surname. I started up a gmail with it, just to see how it felt and I think it will be cool 🙂 Hope all’s well with you, how’s the feng going??

Lyra Leo

Don’t love Lana’s music, OBSESSED with how she markets herself. I’d never change my name after marriage but I’d be more than willing to do so for creative purposes like her…. I think it would be fuqing fantastic to have a few different personas to pull out at will.


I have always wanted to change my name! I love my mother’s maiden name but fear that I’m already living my life too much like hers (as in alone).


This is really interesting… My last serious relationship was with a man who had changed his sir name to a very goth name, very obviously made up. While we were going out he changed it back to his birth name, he never knew his dad so it was a big deal for him to go back to his real name. I saw it as a positive step for him, accepting who he really was. But after he changed it he dumped me for a very conservative woman. Can’t help but wonder!! My name isn’t unusual but I think it is… Read more »


As i already had 3 first names & 3 surnames thanks to grandparents & mother-father all wanting to name me, i took a middle name & the surname of my first irish setter which was the name of my first true love also so as to have just one to use. Complicated to say the least It adds up to a #1 & was completely life changing 20 years ago now, so i actually answer to 3 christian names, luckily luckily whoever calls me by one of them i know where i know them from which incarnation.Yes the changes are… Read more »


…. And this is a great numerology site that gives you all your numbers(for free), and will give you a free daily based on your profile AND show you other celebrities that share numbers with you. Of course, if youre into this sort of thing.


For those of you that want to take numerology a step further – Hebrew numerology called Gematria:

Its great because you can see that this calculator gives you other words that have the same value as the word you looked up…. links to symbology, hidden elements words share that you wouldnt have expected…. this is magick, people.


brilliant, THANKS!!!!!


I have used a series of evolving pseudonyms over the years, since my teens. I realized pretty early in life that you can call yourself whatever you want, and then later when folks learn your “real”” name, nobody gives a fuq. Even when I get back in touch with old friends and re-introduce myself, nobody has any type of reaction other than total and instantaneous adjustment. I have non-coincidentally been attracted to folks who use pseudonyms or their middle names and find out months later, lol. The real power of a name is realizing that people will call you whatever… Read more »


Lol I didn’t even mention the numerology of DIA, 4,9,1
I see this as me(this incarnation/body) my self(my soul/spirit/higher self) and I(the collective identity, oversoul, source)


yeah, speaking of numerology and how it relates back to the transit lines you were messing with. i have eerie good luck with address numbers that reduce down to my soul number. I’ve got an 11 basically a hyper 2, don’t know if i buy into master vibration concept, just like with sign cusps. homes where I chose to stay that have the same frequency always have this very comfortable chill vibe with lots of music and is metaphysical and new age friendly. I have yet to try it on zip codes and area codes. I’m sure it works.


omg I had not thought of that!!! the address of my new place consists of a zero, a one, and three 3’s, so, this house is a 1! not same as my name, but apt as I am definitely starting over here and for the first time literally planting seeds in the earth, as opposed to a patio garden (or, closet garden wink wink) and the best part… triple three is of course an insanely powerful goddess number!!!

fallen angel

I have two first names, both of which are fab stripper names plus my mother’s Spanish last name literally translates to Apple. I’m saved from all of it by a short, business-like Chinese last name (thanks, Dad). I’ve used ALL of my names and derivatives thereof. Plus my family is insanely fond of made up nicknames. My sisters actually call me Dirk or Dick – long story but it came out of the first grandchild mangling my name and it somehow stuck. For the heck of it, they like to add the word Boy i.e. Dicky Boy. Bizarre I know… Read more »


LOL I’ve had the same experience when people who know me by one name end up employing me for marketing/design stuff… and when they cut me a check they tend to be extremely confused by my legal name if they’ve only known me by other names.

catfish moon

Not weird at all…..
I go by my middle name, but business and health people have always known me by my 1st name due to the legal paperwork. It gets a little confusing at times in this little town.
when I worked at the bank they already knew me by my 1st name, so it stuck. It was confusing for them and the patrons who knew me already and called me something else. oh well.

catfish moon

I would not change my name.
Didn’t change my last name when I married.

But my given name is very unique and I have never met another one in person. Sometimes I tell people a different spelling to make it easier for them.


Names don’t seem to “stick” on me. People forget my name frequently, or I remind them of their niece/granddaughter/friend/cousin and they become incapable of calling me any other name. Whenever I enter a new situation or start a new job, I end up with many new names (that I didn’t really want). It gets so that I look up if someone says ANY name facing me. Legally, I’ve changed my middle and last name. Took the new names for a five-year test drive before actually going by them in my business and finally going through the legal process. Astrologically, I… Read more »


this happens to me too, a LOT. I get variants on my surname (huh?) or some other name that befits their idea of what name someone who looks like me should have. Sadly, it’s never Charlize, or Lana, or Sofia. *sigh* I had always put it down to being a wishy washy pisces, or mumbling, or having an empty first house so unless I am drunk and rambunctious, I fail to make an impression. who knows..


pisces rising or strong pisces? ie people projecting onto one?

Miss Leo

I was actually wondering what a good astro would be for chamging a name. I have always despised my last name for many reasons, nor have I ever identified with it’s meaning. I’ve been especially keen on making this chnage soon, and lo and behold Saturn is a few degrees off from trining my Sun in Leo.

Sometimes I am questioned about doing this, usually get the whole well just wait until you’re married line. I’d rather be known as a name I am comfortable rather than one that belongs to someone else. Very particular about identity.


I agree. I think leaning on a married name is lame. sure, if my surname as Poocracker or something, I’d leap at the chance to marry Monsieur Delacroix or something. But if my name was that crap (LOL) why wait until I am married to ditch it? bluuurgh. My opinion borders on the militant about changing names in marriage. “tradition” (vomit, please kill me, they used to bind women’s feet too, that’s traditional)… “it’s better for the kids” (well if my husband to me thinks it’s that important he can change his name!)…. I could go on and ON.. venus… Read more »


Also, it comes from a time when a woman became a man’s PROPERTY. why would I want to refer to that practice just because I decide to become legally bound to someone else? agh now I really need to get outside and run somewhere 😀


think am feeling better now, run must have worked – sorry Miss Leo for hijacking your comment so I could rant 😉

Miss Leo

Oh I totally agree! It is quite alright 🙂

The Crazy Crone

(formerly Aphrodite Rising) I changed my name from Maureen to Mo when I was back in the UK in 2002. Not a great change but I felt I was establishing myself as a separate entity. I was named after my aunt who died of diphtheria when she was 6, my mum promised her first-born would be named after Maureen if it was a girl. But I always hated being named after a dead person and my husband has always called me Mo since he met me. Everyone else did the same in the UK so I switched full-time to Mo… Read more »

12th house virgo

This reminded me: I have name change paperwork I need to fill out to drop my last name.


I used to change my name on Facebook all the time when I got tired of random acquaintances adding me. Now I just avoid Facebook. I’ve been writing a novel and the female love interest changes her name which you only get a clue to at the end of the novel. I’d love to change my name because that would be the only way to feel like a different person to me. No matter if I changed my look or style, without the name change it just feels like me. Like when you act. Anyway, I love the reasons my… Read more »


Great photo. looks like she’s about to jump a Taurean. Bear with me peoples, but I’m about to have a MarsMars conjunction in a minute or 2 so I figured I would release on some semantics.. ‘Sober’ as in ‘is now sober’ … its one of those passive-aggressive recovery labels which has steeped itself into contemporary popular vernacular and really gets up my Pan. Full appreciation for the victory for those who have had to give booze the shove and I guess its NQR to describe someone whos travelled that road a ‘teetotaller’ but ..the label implies that anyone who… Read more »


that said,
ya can certainly get a bucketload more done in a week when off the juice..or maybe thats just me..
…at the moment I’m anyones after a 6pack of zero-alcohol beer !??…placebo effect or maybe coz Neptunes still kinda close to my Sun.. I dunno..

Lana there is a pretty good example getting a lot done fast.


oh so true – let’s face it, sobriety does often equal increased functionality 🙂


OK I’ll tell you one of my favorite jokes. But it really works better if it’s spoken rather than in writing.

A man goes to court to petition to change his name. So the judge asks “what’s your name?” He says “Rudolph Schitz.” The judge says, “I understand why you’d want to change your name, petition granted. Now what do you want to change your name to?” He says, “Steve Schitz.”


LOL. Thanks for the giggle.


Timely post as well Mystic. My current sitch is giving birth to another.

libran dreamchild

numerology is freaky and there are links to feng shui numbers too…. 8s come up all the time for me…. once i had this phone number and a chinese customer said it was very lucky, can’t remember what it was but i have a feeling it was all numbers repeated that added up to 8… not so lucky for them as i was calling to liquidate their company 🙂


yes, 8 is the Chinese lucky number and 4 is considered terribly unlucky… I’ll never forget years ago I gave a Chinese customer invoice #40444, and all the blood drained out of her face, I thought she was going to faint… turned out earlier that week she had been diagnosed with cancer!


oh God I would LOVE to change my everything, *sigh. staleness*… I am admitting I am jealous, like motivationally jealous of the underworldly-voiced Del Rey types. I am feeling fat and old and inept and hogtied, Neptuned to the motherfuqer, a self-amazing-ing routine is constantly just a hairs breadth out of reach thanks to none but me. In Spite of all this Mars banter and KNOWING I just have to change one thing a day…Seriously… what?! is going on. nngghhh having said that, I’d need a publicity team to make it real for me, being a mercurial Pisces it would… Read more »


This grizzle was a cry for help by the way. I am feeling less motivated than a … whatever. I really would appreciate some insight if anyone has any to offer. Maybe if I write enough about it, I will get sick of the sound of my own voice (in my head) and just get on with it… Mars (I guess) is stymied somehow? Neptune is nowhere near my sun yet. But whoa, my Pisces-Aries 9th house is loaded. Chiron on my 9th house cusp? Saturn retrograding over 5th house cusp and Uranus back into 4th house? what is this?… Read more »


signed Pi, the demotivated grizzler who is increasingly resembling a blob. 🙁 *grrrr at self* *self does’t respond*)


Honey, sorry your down. All I can suggest is a laugh ? and maybe some new dance moves ?


Love you for these!
It actually takes great skill to dance this badly – trust me I’ve tried!
I spazzy dance, therefor I AM….


lol thanks DL! might have to give Ms Bland’s dance tips a miss in case the boys keep away in droves 😉 Jane Turner is just fabulous isn’t she!! I love her character inventions, one of my favourite pastimes too 🙂


Michelle and Ferret! I had forgotten about them! hahaha thanks DL 🙂

Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

I have a crush on Ferret. Those too tight shirts! Bogan chic!

cosmic fleece

Gorgeous Pi, I’m sorry it’s a shizzle at the mo. I have to agree with my Cappie trainer, change one thing a week..(day is toooo much, to easy to slip up and start with the self flaggulation) The elements seem to help me, i dont jump out of bed at 4.50am with a massive smile on my face ready to hit the ground running .. more like ”of course mind is going to tell me it doesnt want to run today, but f**k you mind ! Im going, and you dont even have to do anything – so whats with… Read more »

cosmic fleece

Song is for you Pi. x (click cosmic fleece) x


thanks fleecy! I miss having a personal trainer… pilates classes… gym membership….outdoor fitness… things involving money :\ sure I go it alone, but boy going it alone is a fuqing overriding theme right now !

I think mind-override is the key.

one thing a week is probably a gentler way to go..

I am sorry to hear about your dad – peace and strength to you both. xxoo

cosmic fleece

Hello Lovely, Apologies !! as in true Aries style, an out door boxing class, and bootcamp class i go to turns into ”my trainer !!” not personal trainer ! .. Running in mornings at local oval… I think i probably project and think that the solution to everything is to go outside and until you;re physically exhausted. Would looking at art and the ocean help ? Ferry rides are not too pricey, the hardest thing sometimes just getting out the door ? I dont know if its Pisces rising in me, but those are the things (aside from the aries… Read more »


you got it in one Fleece – art, shopping (or window shopping) and the ocean are my solution to just about any form of existential angst. I love libraries – study or not, the gemini rising in me just gets annoyed that I can’t read all of the books I want to in the time that I have! lol.. right now it’s the real world physical practicalities that are piling up on top of me. money, stuff, work, money, home life, money, work, and yes! GETTING OUT THE DOOR… how did you know this…xx Ps outdoor boxing would be AWESOME.… Read more »


Hi Cosmic x
Must be an intense time with your father ? How is he taking this ? His attitude is so important now.
My parents are getting on and their health / passing is like a new light on the horizon I haven’t had to focus on yet. It’s there of course.
Your a wise and strong woman Cosmic, he did a great job with you ? He’s lucky to have you there.
All the best , and maybe mention that dl reckons that Krsna Loka could be the perfect next stop.


it HAS been very watery Pi – I’ve been feeling verrrrry relaxed (ie unmotivated, escapist) – now trying to nab the Aries energy with practical steps – a swim, food shopping, cooking, early night, ‘what went right’ liturgy at the end of day – patience, things will spark up * hugs*


that’s a good plan, Quintile… will use.. xx


That’s amazing, it is really my astro / experience.
Feel qualified to speak here as yes! I have gone the whole 9 yards & changed my first name & last name.
Completely new i.d. & I do love it when people call me by my new name.

Leo Sun OPPOSITION Lilith in Aqua
Sun TRINE Neptune in Sagg

Gemini Rising – A girl of many names
Grand Trine – Mercury/Words-Moon/Emotions -Jupiter/Guru-blarney – plus Sagg NN for speaking my emotional truth.

Nothing was on my ascendant, none of the outer planets were doing anything remarkable either.. was just ‘time’.


Oh, I didn’t do it for the numerology, before my combined names equalled 4 (lateral thinking, material world, building) – Uranus they say.
Now my name is a 5 (freedom, wit & fun) Mercury ruled according to cafeastro.


Well I was going to change my middle name at the registry this week but mercury retrograde has frightened me into waiting a week or so. My god it’s like all things tech have taken a vendetta out on me. Neptune in sag squaring my moon and mercury. Nothing in Leo but heaps in Aqua. Doing this now because it’s time and an exciting time at that!


Merc retro isn’t always a scary time: it’s good for finishing up outstanding business! During our last merc retro period, I got a literary tattoo. IKR, worst time for something permanent to be added to your body… but it turned out perfect, even though my transport (bus) broke down both on the way to the appointment and on the way back. It ended up being a great excuse to get in a lively speedwalk across town.


my problem is that I have so many. between characters and working names, I always seem to have at least going and then I kill them or morph when I get bored , gemini rising scorpio sun.


On the agenda for later this year. Having spent half my life as my father’s child I think it fitting that I spend the second half as my mothers and adopt her glamorous French name. Have been wanting to do this for years but only recently discussed with father, who in his Libraness, couldn’t care less. Hard to explain why now it feels right, but its something to do with being really comfortable owning the right to go into the world as I want and not feeling pretentious about it. I have no Leo placements, quite a lot of aspects… Read more »


I love that! When I changed my last name, it was also from my father’s last name to a semi-homonym of my mother’s surname. Definitely felt like a migration from the patriarchal to the strong feminine.


Lovely! I wonder why women don’t do this more often, although many don’t need to if coming from non-Anglo cultures. I have always felt like my mother’s child. Thank you, Satansayshi, for the positive story.


that was me


I have long used my mother’s surname in my public work as a writer, but kept my father’s name for private matters (education certificates, bank records etc) for the sake of continuity. I always thought of it as being akin to the separation of church and state, lols. But more and more I feel now is the time to make it official, to acknowledge the public self is not a shield but a true persona, and to honour my mother in her lifetime. Interestingly, her name is one she chose for herself post divorce, not wanting to resume her “maiden”… Read more »


Whoo whoo…count me in! My stats–Sun 3, Mercury 18, Asc 27 all Leo with Uranus rising @ 3 Virgo and Pluto @ 10 add a 3rd hse Neptune @ 12 Scorp conjunct Lilith. With the current astro scene and Saturn in Scorp, staying relevant via an ID phoenix is fun and tres chic. Gotta love that!

Double Happiness

Just thinking the other day what a cool non de plume Lana Del Ray was…. I was nagged into changing my name when I got married and have rued that day ever since! Plan on deed polling it cause probably quicker and cheaper than divorce….I love my real name!

Mel C

Oh wow. Yeah, after 5 years of marriage my hubby wants me to change my name. I always kept mine. He reckons it’ll make my life way more awesome. May be I should. But I do like my name…hmmm.


You don’t have to do anything if you just want to use your birth name again. No paperwork, no divorce, nothing required. Just start using it with your birth certificate as id. That’s in Australia however!


Oh how I love Lana Del Ray.

I’m also tight Sun/ Lilith conjunct, Venus/Asc – Pluto square, but with Neptune/Sun conjunct and Mars In Virgo.

The themes she writes can get gritty and indecent, but it comforts me when I listen to it. I feel like I come home when I put her on.

L Cat

Love this pic of her! Glam-Mexicana-50’s-retro: fascinating to hear the similar astro vibe with Ms Monroe. There is courage in doing the classy name change & wonder how it changes/affects our destiny henceforth?…


Alot of people have done this to death but she does it so well and manages not to look like a trend. I am always impressed with her not drowning in an ocean of vintage/retro/pinup/badgirl/tattoo/fashion/mexicandayofdead/trailertrash/singers and still come out with something personal despite the saturation.


“vintage/retro/pinup/badgirl/tattoo/fashion/mexicandayofdead/trailertrash/singers ” – Hahaha!


Changed my name by Deed Poll (actually that’d be a great porn star name….but I digress) when I was involved with a Cult – one of the requirements to prove our “loyalty”. Dumb ass thing to do. I have kept it as penance, and as a constant reminder of how stoopid I was to get that sucked in. The whole experience with them proved extremely costly: financially, emotionally, physically, psychically and spiritually.
Now that I have played my part in running them outta town, I find myself calling myself by my real/old name once again…funny huh.


I’m maybe not familiar with what deed poll is, coming from the U.S. Sounds like a trying time, all around.


Deed Poll is changing your name legally. Costs a couple hundred bucks and HEAPS of paperwork. My new first name is very pretty (it came to me in a dream) but sometimes feels like I’m pretending to be someone I’m not anymore.
The old me was not so bad after all, warts and all.


I liked hearing your story. You sound very calm and reading it eminated calmness. Names … changed mine because of marriage, regret that now, was adopted at birth, because of that i had my adopted fathers name, didnt like that either. I finally found my bio father – he was dead but i really dig him and now i have his name. Happy. Best wishes to you on this side of the cult experience. Sue

Scroll to Top