Help! I have the Valentines Day Blues. In fact I am the Valentine’s Day Gimp. It comes on most years when I realize I’m mostly single, may never meet the dream man and may never drive through Paris in a sports car with the warm wind in my hair (thank you Marianne Faithfull for that one- not). I try not to look at the cutesy cards and balloons everywhere also knowing someone at work with get a bouquet of flowers and we all have to go oogh and aagh.
With natal Venus opposition Saturn I was born a Love Zombie and have been trying to conquer it all my life. Some days I win – some days I lose. Today is a lost cause.
I have Mars in Libra – I should be romanced and be dancing under the moonlight in a long ball gown with men adoring me – goddamit I’M BEAUTIFUL (thank you Muriel’s Wedding – great ozzie movie).
So my point is with natal Venus opposition Saturn am I really a lost cause?
Love, the Leo Groover
PS: Another idea MM
The Love Zombie’s guide to Valentine Day
Maybe we could we could have some fun with it and think of suitable retorts to peeps asking “what are you doing for Valentines day?
My first answer would be I’m going to have the best sex of my life – no mess, no awkward moments, no post coital snoring, no chewing his/her arm off.
Dear Leo Groover,
Valentines Day is totally naff. And i have thought this whether single, married, in love or out of love. Those pink balloons? Gypsophila? Nylon pink teddy bears? Being frog-marched out to dinner to be romantic on cue? Pfft.
Think also: St Valentine was actually a martyr. He was torn apart by wild mules or something. I mean, seriously. The day itself is very rarely an actual romantic day cosmically. This year’s one is Moon in Aries square Pluto with Venus in Aquarius trine Bitch Goddess Lilith & Asteroid Sappho – brilliant astro if you want to go out to a dinner, drink the toxic plonk they often unload on couples as part of the St Valentine’s day “package”, have a cathartic fight and then use that as fodder for your next screenplay/anecdote/performance/whatever.
Also, there is absolutely nothing stopping you driving through Paris in a warm wind etc etc. Although, Marianne Faithfull may not be your best Muse in these matters, right? Venus opposition Saturn does not make you into a Love Zombie. You may be more cautious in love than some but it’s like the opposite of a delusional type.
You’re not a lost cause. In fact, with Venus-Saturn, you stop mooning on about moonlight and ballgowns and devise some sort of a business plan for mating. Re what to say to peeps asking what you’re doing on Valentines Day? I think it’s good to just brush off naff questions like you didn’t hear them. Like when taxi drivers ask where you live or what your job did. Does your last bit mean that you intend to perfect, um, self-loving?
Finally, Love Zombies e-stalk and send cryptic or drunken stream of consciousness messages on Valentines Day. This is how you know if you are a Love Zombie or not.
What does everyone else think?
Image: Jane Maxwell