So many people have problems dealing with energy vampires, but what if you ARE the energy vampire? Mystic advises a Double Virgo who fears she IS one.
It seems that I am one of the people not responding well to the intensity of the stars lately. I’m a double Virgo: Sun and Rising, which seems to make it worse. I’m co-engineering a big project with a Cancerian mentor, who has disappeared and left me with all the work. Instead of calling her on it, I’m complaining a lot in private. I’m on the market for a new job (in academia), and instead of feeling confident in my extensive skills and hot CV, I keep having outbreaks of envy at other job-seekers, some of whom are friends. At least these are private — but it feels selfish, I mean the world is exploding, and Gaza is insane, and I’m obsessing about whether I’ll get the top pick of the jobs? Ugh.
I’ve become negative and unsatisfactory company. I know it, but I can’t pull out of it. I think I am the Energy Vampire like the sort of people I usually try to avoid them.
Meanwhile, in therapy, I’m having deep insights gel about a long-running pattern of hiding my desires from my loved ones and then trying to access them in guilty secrecy. As a person who has a self-image as smart, diplomatic, and calm, I also realize how angry I am at some of the closest people in my life — and how passive my aggression is. SO St Virgo. Yuck!
Anyhow, these realizations don’t seem to be preventing me from acting out. At all. So what do those of us who are caught up in the passive-aggression, the crappy panic about the world, the self-guilting and everything else? I’ve been trying to do yoga and chill out, but it’s hard work. And sleep? Ha! I haven’t been able to sleep properly for months.
Can you remind me how to Evolve?
St Virgo of the Crumbling Status Quo
Dear St Virgo Of the Crumbling Status Quo,
Hey, can’t fault you for self-awareness. It may be the crisis that so often precedes a fabulous opportunity or transformation. The snake feels like shit in her skin right before she sheds it. She has low or no venom and wants to hide out under a rock all day.
Also, sometimes trying to make yourself chill out doesn’t work – it’s like trying to force an orgasm. If yoga is not doing it, maybe you need to do boxing/martial arts? Job-Seeking, a.w.o.l, Crab Mentor, and confronting demons via psychotherapy is stressful. See a naturopath to help with the sleep scenario; a Virgo martyring themselves over no sleep automatically morphs into an Energy Vampire.
And, as a Double Virgo, you may feel responsible for everything but Gaza is not your fault, and many a fine diplomatic mind has bent itself trying to solve the situation. Focus on what is in your control: your psyche and daily regime. It sounds like your Virgo Vision got an upgrade, you’re seeing everything more realistically and have a kind of clarity hangover.
And you have the awareness to call yourself on your attitude getting a bit glum and draining. Real Energy Vampires don’t pick up on it. They think they’re reasonable and entitled to other people’s time, money and attention.
What does everyone else think?
Image: Chiharu Shiota