The Office At Zodiac Pty Ltd

80s office scenario

Actually, i get a lot of requests from people wanting advice re how to handle an office situation. Obviously, I’m good on the general astro du jour dimension of things (see Wednesday’s Daily Mystic email – the Office Edition lol) BUT as i work from home, my grasp of office politics is perhaps not that nuanced. BUT i do notice that people seem to work in pods of one particular sign.  One person had several She-Scorps making her life a misery at a toxic law firm and another find that Aries would congregate together and scheme exclusively.  At one point, nearly all the sub-editors I knew were Virgo, brilliant of course but still.

So the obvious solution would be to pass legislation ensuring that every office had a good blend of Sun Signs. Nothing fancy, just a nice, varied selection. Can you see how it would work out? Let’s call our company Zodiac Pty Ltd.

There would be an Aries New Biz Manager, strutting around in red and with inspirational slogans such as “If it is going to be, it’s up to me” and “Train insane or remain the same” stuck on their wall. Short on the phone but long in the retelling of blowhard anecdotes, Aries New Biz Manager would not explain anything twice but be very easily manipulated via goobly flattery or thinking that something needed to be rescued.

The Financial Controller would have to be Taurus, with a Zen like demeanor as they asked about an expense from April 17 at 10.44am for which there seems to be no adequate documentation. You can trust a Taurus (apart from the Lower Bulls like Bernie Madoff, obviously) to keep a guard on money & assets. Taurus would be the go-to person for any office nosh-up occasions, being always willing to fling open the cash coffers for anything gourmet.

Gemini would be the Gen Y Social Media/Digital Go-To Person, always on trend, multi-tasking and the person from whom to gather or spread gossip. Chief Enemy of Taurus Financial Controller, due to strange online activity and insistence on apps unheard of by Taurus Financial Controller.

There would be a Cancerian or Capricorn CEO with an alarming propensity to remain v.quiet and let other peeps stream-of-consciousness chatter themselves into a black hole from which they might never crawl out. Think also a Scorpio Executive whose e-stalking skills are the envy of even the Gemini Social Media girl. Piscean and Sagittarius salespeople would be absent for months on end, infuriating Taurus Financial Controller AND Aries New Biz Manager, able only to be found by the Scorpio  Executive whose role, other than knowing everyone’s shit, is always murky.

Libra Media, Marketing and Communications Director would have commandeered the corner office with a view so as to be able to “entertain clients and media.” Obviously it fuqs off the Cancerian/Capricorn CEO to an insane degree that the clients seem mostly Libra Media Director’s slimy journo Ex and the Sagittarian + Pisces sales peeps. But each time Cancerian/Capricorn CEO go in to demand their office back, Libra Media Director charms them into backing down. Besides, as Pisces Sales Person points out whilst opening the bar fridge to help themselves to more champagne, the grotty, smaller office actually has the better Feng Shui.

WHAT roles would Leo, Virgo and Aquarius play in this organization?  I’m giving away two subscriptions (extension or gift sub if you’re already signed up) to Mega Mystic for two years to the best thoughts on this!  Mega Mystic gets you access to the Oracle, the must-read Daily Mystic email Mon to Fri AND obviously all the Horoscopes…

 

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ÁNLEIFRMystic Medusascorpiorisingcatandromeda Recent comment authors
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ÁNLEIFRMM Member
ÁNLEIFR

Who is IT in this office?

Anonymous
Anonymous

…so, who won?

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Virgo is best at micro-managing all the small details. Correcting grammar, typos etc… A low-vibing Virgo is the office Nit-Pick, interrupting others mid-speech to correct their grammar, and scandalously hitting on the new interns while drinking blue hoochie devil juice hidden in their desk. Leo must be head of recruiting and Public Relations. Also in charge of office parties, events and social events bringing drama and networking to a new level. Low-vibing Leo stirs up drama, plays both sides of the game, often shows up to work hungover, takes extra-long liquid lunches and puts fires out with gasoline in leopard… Read more »

cat
cat

hee! ALL the subeditors and writers in my office are Virgo.
september is such an expensive month. 😛

Ldywolf
Ldywolf

Leo would have to be the gorgeous face of the company…whether the owner or just the facade representing the owner, Leo makes the whole business look beautiful, appealing, strong and now. Leo oozes the vibe that you want and need to be “just like me.” Virgo is the organized, long suffering and underestimated Executive Assistant, of course. The one with the sexy librarian look but oh so capable and knowing everything, untarnished and shiny. The Aquarian can be and do anything, and needs to be and do everything, so let’s place her in Human Resources where she can analyze the… Read more »

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Aquarius would be a self-employed business astrologer, hired on a long term contract basis by the Capricorn CEO for astrological timing of succesful corporate take-overs, media campaigns, office software upgrades, etc…

Leo would be the company creche supervisor, keeping all the little carpet beetles entertained, and out of trouble while their parents are hard at work.

Virgo would be in their dream job, being paid to exercise their stationery fetish in their position as head of office supplies.

Confused Gem
Confused Gem

Oh mystic this is so helpful! I’ve been trying to figure out what signs the people I work with are. Initially thought they were a bunch of scorps. Only confirmed scorp is my boss who might have gemini rising. My immediate superior, going by the above description is probably a tauro with aries moon. He basically does everything in the office since we’re a small company. But more concerned with food and money then with doing things. And his office is practically a fort. I suspect we’re still a bunch of scorps since they’re vibing secrecy but chillax in this… Read more »

pearlchampagne
pearlchampagne

Strange synchronicity again. Overheard post-interview chit chat by the interviewers regarding potential candidate:

“Oh she’s a Virgo! That means Ms Boss will like her, she loves virgos.”

I know I know, shame on my eavesdropping. It feels like virgos proliferate my office/warehouse. I always notice when the birthday cards come around for signing and lo and behold the card today was for our prettiest model – a libra.

Leda
Leda

Leo – scheming for CEO job, outwardly charming but secretetly undermining others. There is only rooom for one on the throne when a Leo is about. Using the Aqua who does all the brilliant work, but finally gets sick of endlessly having to flatter and placate Leo ego and listen patiently to one more “my great liffe” story fro the Leo. “And there was this one time…” Aqua eventually gets sick of Leo, calls him on taking credit for work etc and tells him to go jump. Leo sacks Aqua. True story. Aqua, filled with humanitarian ideals of justice, outraged,… Read more »

Wen
Wen

Mystic it’s clear:

Aqua heads up the Research & Development team, analyzing the data (with help from Virgo), and then using it to forecast important trends, especially those impacting on the social wellbeing of society.

Leo? Event Manager of course! Bosses everyone around for weeks on end as the big day gets nearer, posting fabulous pics of herself on FB etc doing important event-based things. Then , on cue as the event launches, appearing in full glory, hair making major statement, to ensure everyone has the best time ever, and the organization is reflected as world class!

Yes.

Saturnsayshi
Saturnsayshi

I don’t know how you intuit these things, Mystic… My sister the Libra IS actually a marketing director with a big office. I’m her Capricorn assistant… In several workplaces I’ve been referred to as the “quiet one you want to watch out for.” People have entire conversations just talking at me and I sometimes don’t realize I haven’t said anything. I have also worked for two financial advisors: Taurus man and Cancer man, both seem to have the perfect temperaments for minding money. Pisces men tend to disappear and reappear from the office totally without explanation or awareness that anything… Read more »

crb
crb

LOL I loved this.

Scorpio IT guy here. I fix stuff before you know it is broken, and you don’t usually see me do it. When I’m gone for a day everything breaks and the second don’t know what to do. Not always a good thing.

Also expert at finding lost, misplaced, or misappropriated equipment.

Astraea
Astraea

Leo = Chairman. A highly visible yet largely symbolic role with its value measured in TED invites, honorary degrees and afternoon highballs at the nearest Four Seasons. And while ‘Chairperson’ is apropos, both sexes may insist on ‘chairman’ as gratuitous recognition from a patriarchal business elite. Virgo = In-House Counsel OR Public Relations Officer Crafting image and force-feeding the public, indisputably establishing their perspective as the ‘rightest’ on record and relishing the opportunity to argue each and every period placement in a contract. Aquarius = Chief Scientist The completely removed, innovating genius who prefers crowd-sourcing science and lab denizenry to… Read more »

QuiteLight
QuiteLight

The Leo PR rep would have the Virgo events planner Hopping! I see Aquarius as either the Trend Forecaster or the cool, too-hippy-ish-for-the-office secretary who does angel card readings for everyone (although no one admits it) & shares her crystals with one & all!

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

(c)

We’re watching you.

fallen angel
fallen angel

hahaha.. :O

LeoEscapeArtist
LeoEscapeArtist

Her Leo Royal Account Execu returns from servicing the upscale clientele and immedo gets fired-up because if there’s one way to get her purr-on, it’s party zeitgeist. Upon seeing Dom Perignon, becomes dizzy from what the others assume is the weight of all-that-hair when really it’s ALL about that upsurping Skinny Bitch who don’t-even-get-me-started… Immediately, The She-Virgo Office Medic takes a swipe of the antibacterial and hands over kala namek from her super pedigreed vegan healing guru and asks, did you apply your SPF 1000 because it looks to me like these office windows didn’t get the UV protecto coating?… Read more »

munin
munin

leo, the ideal company spokeperson… hmmm… i have been working in mass-media for about 7 years now and the only positions leos i met were comfortable in are “center of known universe” or “president-god”. as far as their negotiation skills go, not so sure about it. but they’re good if you want a one man/woman show, and quite generous if in the position of “president-god-whose-decisions-are-never-questioned”. aquas on the other hand – oh yes, there are plenty of them in this field! they usually deal with the IT stuff (as everyone pointed out before). the males make great co-workers, erratic but… Read more »

andromeda
andromeda

I am Leo and I agree that many Leo’s I have met, like to be centre of the ‘known universe’. I think as a fixed sign some of them prefer preaching to the choir as it is better the devil/choir they know. Maybe a really airy Leo would disagree but I am water heavy.

Triple Spiral
Triple Spiral

Personally, as a multiple conjunct Virgo, I have to disagree with all of these “cleaning and management” positions. Yes, yes, yes, we Virgos are big fans of keeping things neat, tidy, and most importantly, organized, but lest we forget that Miss Virgo is ruled by none other than Mercury. So, what you may ask, is Virgo doing in the company? Easy. She’s the Chief Communication Officer advising her preferably Capricorn CEO (sorry, Cancers, this is just personal experience talking). After using her deep connections at the Scorpio research department, CCO Virgo organizes all the data, analyzes, and comes up with… Read more »

andromeda
andromeda

I think this of Virgo too. Kind of like the court eunuch in Game of Thrones (well their sign is the Virgin!).

LadyLeo
LadyLeo

Fascinating because it’s these exact three signs that I have observed dominate together in the industry I work in. I work in digital marketing/ comms and have worked in a couple of digi marketing tech agencies and with digi marketing teams and there is always a strong mix of these three signs. Always. My observations: Aqua- a natural fit seeing as it’s always about being at the forefront of cutting edge technology and knowing everything there is to know about computers, social media, the world wide web and how this all comes together to engage, educate and connect people and… Read more »

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

Love all the comments… I worked in PR for years and the industry was full of Leos and Gems. Leos for the glam / events / big ideas, Gems for knowing everybody/every trend/seamlessly making networks and making stuff happen.

mollybloom
mollybloom

Leo would be the Inner Awesome general manager of the group: she/he would be responsible for the brand image of the group, from general advertising in magazines, newspapers, tv and radio, through every aspect involving the company’s Name, Pride and Glory. She would also attend press parties for the group, showing up in her/his golden aura and queenly responding to the journalists about the Mission of her/his company, letting them know – with quick, fab statement that would be promptly retweeted all around the world, and become a classic post modern form of literature – , how important is for… Read more »

Pi
Pi

surely Virgo is the Executive Assistant, organising the shit out of everything to perfection. CEO strides past “VIRGO! Where is my…. ” before they finish the sentence, virgo calmly hands CEO the Thing in question.

Aqua – I.T. or Person Least Likely to be mired in office politics. Most intelligent person in the organisation but doesn’t give a damn.

Nate
Nate

Office Administration Manager Virgo works very closely with, and is liked a lot by Finance manager Taurus, whom she can be found discussing spreadsheet and database techniques over coffee. Virgo has the cleanest office space and firm policy of lean is clean. Her filing system annoys Gemini who wants Virgo to adopt the latest trends in vibrant share-point file managers, but has stopped asking to avoid another dry, yet frighteningly pointed, lecture on how Gemini’s workplace would work better if the the pens were kept in order of Blue, red and black precisely 35cm to the right of the computer.… Read more »

quicksilver
quicksilver

You didn’t say what Zodiac Pty Ltd is selling, so I’m assuming it is a profitable university for the Aquarian age, providing knowledge for life courses like ‘Astrology for the Afflicted’, ‘Feng Shui for the Forlorn’, ‘Money Management for Interesting Times’ and ‘Music Making for Mellowness’. Aquarius – Director of Innovation, keeps her finger on the pulse by endless emailing with an extensive international network, thinks up new courses and strategic directions and tells her fellow Aquarians in courseware design and software development what they should be working on. Of course they already know. Leo – The Lecturers. Always up… Read more »

andromeda
andromeda

Aqua would be Systems Analyst – at one with the interwebs and able to program you are new reality with an amusing caustic remark or their brilliant Uranian problem solving ability. They enjoy all depending on them as they sit in their techno-castle alone but online. Leo’s love meetings! Team Leader extraordinaire and go-to person for the Aries Boss. Aries is busy getting stuff done while Leo basks in the warm glow of their co-workers gaze, explaining, encouraging, justifying… Virgo – the power behind the throne… Subtle, courtly and orderly the Virgo rules by virtue of their expert understanding of… Read more »

School of Fish
School of Fish

Virgo’s – If they aren’t the head of the company they soon will be by inadvertently stepping on every supposed slacker known to man to get the top job purely because they think they know everything about everything which in fact they do. They would demand respect and get it because all the slackers now having been demoted would have no choice but to obey. Though if you ever got a step ahead of them, they would praise you for your anal retentive ways. Leo – Is the failed actor that heads the Professional Dev and mentorship program kinda like… Read more »

lola
lola

Mobile site looks great,thank you.

So… Virgo would be ghost employee for Leo,because “fabulousness doesn’t really multitask ” and Aqua… “yes we,pay them,for the firm is strong in equality,so we have some anarchists as well.The better office supply movement ~Mug up~ lead by Aqua has done miracles for our office life”.

Modern Girl
Modern Girl

Dynamic people have a way of lighting up a room. Leo’s drive for reaching the top will be backed by vast group of listeners, gossiping (and jealous) co-workers, solid quals and public attention. To retain a Leo employee and bring out the best in them give them the comms strategy to carry out – media interviews and appearances to promote the latest instrument/product immediately once its been launched. Instead of investing in a computer, invest in a multi-Virgo. They literally enjoy being given a mass of information to process, crunch, analyse, collate and present in a most appealing way –… Read more »

wildwood
wildwood

I worked with a Virgo who had spreadsheeted all the cafes within walking distance of the office, with columns for type of milk, quality of froth, type of beans/blend, price, sizes, possibility for meetings etc. Every company should employ a Virgo to do this.

As for the Leos… well they would be great at PR, and the Aquarians would naturally fit into the Creativity and Innovation section, although perhaps they would also be good at managing Corporate Social Responsibility.

The Sagittarians naturally need a minimum 3 months paid leave each year.

fallen angel
fallen angel

LOVE this. MM is so spot on. I work in Marketing (Merc in Gem) & Regulatory Compliance (V Rising) to control and reformulate products to more environmentally friendly (Moon in Aqua) versions. My Cancer sun is all about letting everyone else spill it while I alternate between subtly inscrutable and caring while it all gets filed away.

Do I see myself as an Alpha type CEO person? Yes, I do. But mainly for the very Kataka trait of thinking I care more haha..

fallen angel
fallen angel

Oh, and a confession. I have access to everyone’s birthdays so I often get to suss everyone out by sign..were I to head a company it’s something I’d definitely consider. Equal Opportunity statements usually declare non prejudice regards “race, gender, class, religion, sexual orientation, disability, or other aspects of what we look like or where we come from”. But they never mentioned astro did they? haha

Double Trouble Scorp
Double Trouble Scorp

Leo, a fabulous leggy blonde, would be international sales manager; Always going on trips abroad to chic destinations in France (incidentally coinciding with Fashion Week, maybe). Business class flights, of course. Endlessly annoying the Taurus Money Master with her high bills, but winning him over for her next trip to Monaco with luxury gourmet souvenirs only to be found at La Durées headquarters in Paris. Aquarius would see himself as the creative director of the company, though maybe not so much on a day-to-day basis. Some days he’d be in, some days he’d be… out of it. But with his… Read more »

hometime
hometime

Aquarius man would obviously be the tech guy. Good looking, casually dressed, everyones friend, but inclined to be a prick if he feels like it. Obviously, though, as he is the only one who can actually trouble shoot Gemini’s computer, and knows how to get the printing to come out at the right spot, he enjoys a degree of job security unknown to everyone except the scorpio. Aquarius woman would be the company photographer, with a penchant for a wide angle lens and photoshop filters. Sometimes found arguing with Aquarius tech guy about the utility of Java programming. Inclined to… Read more »

toromojorising
toromojorising

Virgo = Cleaner
Leo = “Editor at Large”
Aquarius = Manager of Social Responsibility & Sustainable Business Division

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

In my environment, Aqua is in her lab inventing the next gen nano-tech, Virgo is busy with rigorous project evals, Leo is giving people orders or confirmations they didn’t ask in the first place.

Anony_Aus/Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot
Anony_Aus/Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot

I really think all good actors and scriptwriters should study astrology.
Mystic! This needs to become an awesome Aussie sitcom NOW!

thora
thora

I am one of a clutch of group Virgos born in a week at my company (in a company of about 65 people, this is significant- we also have a clutch of Cancers 0_o). One is our head designer- she doesn’t even have an office phone, so that she can better focus on the designs of the pages (we do online academic publishing). The other four of us are all in customer support, with two of the four in lead positions, while the other two are new. Our job is to train our clients, track all of their material, and… Read more »

aquasunbird
aquasunbird

Last place was pure chaos, high on visual dreams but low on human behaviour…It was crawling with scorpios controlling the design, merchandise, high level sales…In the other corner were a few aquarians going bats trying to impose order on a drug fueled fashion orgy of egos…It went into administration…a denim brand that had been rocking for over fifteen years…Even the accounting team were in on the shenanigans…all my virgo moralising was of course unappreciated but the piscean in me did the flow with the surreality!

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯 Aqua would working their way up through management trying to get out of the company as quickly as possible – so they can start up their small (empire) business they’ve been secretly working on. Virgo would be on long service leave because they’ve been working at the same company and in the same role for a billion years.They will also pop back in to the office for “lunch” while on leave just to check the dust bins are being emptied. Leo would be in HR – rewriting the company’s mission statement – ‘to provide leadership in grooming, expertise in… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Aqua would definitely be in charge of R&D or technical development along with a Piscean scientist and a Virgo laboratory technician. They would commandeer the basement and develop elaborate security entrance protocols with pheremonal scent signature detectors. Actually scratch that … you just gain entrance via a wormhole portal which changes locations on a daily basis and can only be detected by a special handheld GPS navigator. The Leo refuses to acknowledge that they are actually a paid member of staff, instead referring to themselves as the company’s “Brand Ambassador” with a retainer and extremely generous expense account for “mane… Read more »

sara
sara

Leo would be the recruiter, in search of new talent, in the form of employees but also other up and coming companies to potentially merge with.

Aquarius would be the head of IT.

Virgo would be the office manager, keeping everyone on track.

K-Gem
K-Gem

Clearly, the Virgo would be The Office Manager in the manner of Marius Kloppers and ensure Neat Desks, Neat People, No Typos or Nasty Fonts. The Libran marketing manager will clearly have to impress the Virgo OM to get that corner office. No easy task, I might add. The Aquarian would be Chief Strategy Officer/ Creative Director – the big picture person. Libra Marketing Wiz, Gemini Social Marketing Grrrl and Aqua CSO would clearly have some boundary issues to work through…which the Virgo OM and Taurean Finance Manager could, not assist, but give direction on. Virgo OM would consider such… Read more »

mitra
mitra

Mr Aqua is Zodiac’s intergalactic “geologist”, regularly absent on field trips collecting planetary samples or holed away in his office contemplating complex data and creating precise graphs which he would give to Mr Virgo to perfect and to the Saggo to stylise if she happened to be around. The Virgo, besides quietly serving as the company’s government compliance officer also served as everyone’s go to point when assistance was required. He would even lend you his files provided you didn’t write on them, even in pencil. Ms Leo, Director of Human Resources, commanded respect as she kept up an insanely… Read more »

Seabird
Seabird

Aquarius is the boozy, out-all-night, hungover-for-half-the-day mystery man who gets paid a huge salary to do seemingly sweet f.a. except schmooze, feel up the promo models and drink at publicists’ launches. However, everyone in the company knows better than to underestimate what is actually going on. The Capricorn CEO understands that it is the genius ideas of the Aqua, pulled from his booze-addled mind at 4am in the morning, which actually tap into the higher consciousness of the company’s clients, and keep the whole thing 10 steps ahead of the competition in a “How the hell did they think of… Read more »

fallen angel
fallen angel

SO entertaining Seabird, except I’m not sure of the Virgo role descriptor as the ones I’ve encountered are neither motherly nor able to keep themselves from nagging/ranting – in fairness, perhaps they’re pushed to it. But they oft need to have their whinge due to how onerous martyrdom is. Also for some reason, the female ones I know seem to all feel compromised once married/partnered. Perhaps the service aspects of the union are just too much? Or the Virginal Solitude is disrupted. Not sure. What I have heard (around) is that Virgos aside from being excellent designers, detail divas, are… Read more »

bluesky
bluesky

No! No! You outed us, Seabird. Shame!!! How did you crack this code? Darn it all….

Previously Undercover Virgo

Anonymous
Anonymous

Ha ha! I could imagine my Virgo Sis doing that job 🙂

School of Fish
School of Fish

Seabird – fuq u are funny 🙂

moved on
moved on

Scorpios and aquarians are dangerous office colleagues indeed.

I worked with a virgo once who would spend a great deal of time lining up the document stamps in a neat line on clean white paper. The aries psych would stride over purposefuly at least once a day and ‘accidentally’ knock them out of order. Ms virgo would go ape, throw out the (now) ink smeared paper and rearrange them again into a neat line. She admitted she had OCD – bigtime.

I as a pisces found the dynamics and shenanigans hilarious

fallen angel
fallen angel

OMG, you simply can’t buy that kind of real life comedy, hilarious!

Having said that the Virgo Saxophonist I dated never liked to stay idle during his day job, so he’d send me pictures of colored paper clips neatly arranged in a color wheel mandala haha..

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

Wo…you pretty much described our Creative Director with your Aquarian post…I’ve been wondering about his sign and that may be it. He frequently pisses people off with his strong opinions asserting he knows what’s right, and runtiness….however his creative genius and ability to make magic happen with one random and lucky conversation are unparalleled. He’s also funny as fuq….my Aqua rising appreciates his rebelhood…I’m thinking he MUST be Aqua.

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

rantiness, not runtiness, lol. Tho he is rather slight.

Anonymous
Anonymous

virgo would be a diligent and hard-working assistant to the aries manager. virgo would follow all of the assistant’s orders but would be sure to point out any fine details the aries manager over-looked in his/her instructions in a respective and humble way. leo would wear the designer suits to the office each day, with big, styled hair. leo would be the director/manager of public relations while managing relationships with employees in the office. leo would also give any presentations necessary to clients and co-workers and make sales or business deals. aquarius would be on the creative team and devise… Read more »

X
X

Leo and Aquarius would tag team on public relations for the company. Aquarius would do the actual reaching-out to and dealing with people and groups–Leo would just focus on making the company look super fab from within.

Virgo would be cleaning and maintenance, of course.

leogroover
leogroover

I want the Libra job. A Leo would not have grotty friends but stylish frenemies and others she could court to help her rise to a better carpark spot, gym, pay etc etc.

libragal
libragal

I am Libra sun and have a great view from my desk problem is I work with two other Libran’s (one female and one male) unfortunately they are lazy and tend to bitch and gossip. I have moved up (been there less than they have) and to be honest, can see the green envy monster – not a pretty sight….

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