Actually, i get a lot of requests from people wanting advice re how to handle an office situation. Obviously, I’m good on the general astro du jour dimension of things (see Wednesday’s Daily Mystic email – the Office Edition lol) BUT as i work from home, my grasp of office politics is perhaps not that nuanced. BUT i do notice that people seem to work in pods of one particular sign. One person had several She-Scorps making her life a misery at a toxic law firm and another find that Aries would congregate together and scheme exclusively. At one point, nearly all the sub-editors I knew were Virgo, brilliant of course but still.
So the obvious solution would be to pass legislation ensuring that every office had a good blend of Sun Signs. Nothing fancy, just a nice, varied selection. Can you see how it would work out? Let’s call our company Zodiac Pty Ltd.
There would be an Aries New Biz Manager, strutting around in red and with inspirational slogans such as “If it is going to be, it’s up to me” and “Train insane or remain the same” stuck on their wall. Short on the phone but long in the retelling of blowhard anecdotes, Aries New Biz Manager would not explain anything twice but be very easily manipulated via goobly flattery or thinking that something needed to be rescued.
The Financial Controller would have to be Taurus, with a Zen like demeanor as they asked about an expense from April 17 at 10.44am for which there seems to be no adequate documentation. You can trust a Taurus (apart from the Lower Bulls like Bernie Madoff, obviously) to keep a guard on money & assets. Taurus would be the go-to person for any office nosh-up occasions, being always willing to fling open the cash coffers for anything gourmet.
Gemini would be the Gen Y Social Media/Digital Go-To Person, always on trend, multi-tasking and the person from whom to gather or spread gossip. Chief Enemy of Taurus Financial Controller, due to strange online activity and insistence on apps unheard of by Taurus Financial Controller.
There would be a Cancerian or Capricorn CEO with an alarming propensity to remain v.quiet and let other peeps stream-of-consciousness chatter themselves into a black hole from which they might never crawl out. Think also a Scorpio Executive whose e-stalking skills are the envy of even the Gemini Social Media girl. Piscean and Sagittarius salespeople would be absent for months on end, infuriating Taurus Financial Controller AND Aries New Biz Manager, able only to be found by the Scorpio Executive whose role, other than knowing everyone’s shit, is always murky.
Libra Media, Marketing and Communications Director would have commandeered the corner office with a view so as to be able to “entertain clients and media.” Obviously it fuqs off the Cancerian/Capricorn CEO to an insane degree that the clients seem mostly Libra Media Director’s slimy journo Ex and the Sagittarian + Pisces sales peeps. But each time Cancerian/Capricorn CEO go in to demand their office back, Libra Media Director charms them into backing down. Besides, as Pisces Sales Person points out whilst opening the bar fridge to help themselves to more champagne, the grotty, smaller office actually has the better Feng Shui.
WHAT roles would Leo, Virgo and Aquarius play in this organization? I’m giving away two subscriptions (extension or gift sub if you’re already signed up) to Mega Mystic for two years to the best thoughts on this! Mega Mystic gets you access to the Oracle, the must-read Daily Mystic email Mon to Fri AND obviously all the Horoscopes…
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