Astro Gaga Competition: Create A “Love Zombie Alert” Slogan

Filed in Astro Gaga

Art Woman With Imaginary Lover

Warning posters are everywhere, right?

Like you can read them whilst you’re out and about or on the back of lavatory doors.

The possible perils from sex, drugs & alcohol seem to be adequately covered but what of the VERY real dangers of becoming a Love Zombie?

We are going to create a poster. The artist ought to be the genius Joe Webb – you can get his prints here and see his other work in Love Zombie Rehab here.

But what should the slogan be? Saying “Just Don’t Do It’ is not really epic enough.Β  Ideas please.

The winning slogan is (a) going to be pitched by me to the artist who will help us create the Love Zombie Alert poster and (b) will win two years of the Mega Mystic subscription. This includes access to all the Horoscopes, the must-know Daily Mystic email to your in-box Mon to Fri and the Oracle + subscriber only features like Luna Luxe & Sleazometer.

If you’ve got a long enough sub already, you can gift it to a friend…let’s do this and i am FOR REAL about getting a poster created. Let’s give back.

Image:Β  Joseph Webb

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175 thoughts on “Astro Gaga Competition: Create A “Love Zombie Alert” Slogan

  1. Howzabout the words like this “LOVE ZOMBIE” with the acronym for the M in Zombie being “Madness”…. dripping down like tears. (lol) not like I’ve ever been through anything like this! (lol)

  2. oh i’ve got this,
    one of my old girlfriends and I came up with this one whilst going through mutual romantic strife and made little postcards to each other and artsy scribbles of it everywhere…

    “WE ALL DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, OR AT LEAST NOT MISERABLE”

    ehhhh??? what do you think?

  3. of course… i’ll lend you $7000…clean your house…massage u…. do your grocery shopping … mind your child while you go to a party with your ex..always be the designated driver… take your dog to obedience school while you sleep in …Agree with your crap opinions…smile at your mother while she insults me…carry your emotional baggage … of course !

    • That’s absolutely scary!
      To quote Dan Savage DTMFA.
      Dan Savage has great quotes/advice about “Love Zombies.”
      I know a con-artist who does exactly that finds a gf to take care of his responsibilities including work full-time when he parties at the clubs every-night. Then has another girl on the side to go party with. While old-gf babysits his kid from another failed marriage.
      He manages to con all these women to be his harem after they discover each other. So, sad. He is not attractive either, nor rich. Just makes his money scamming his gf’s and stealing from the clubs he works at.
      Definite dark “magician/destroyer” archetype.

  4. 1-LOVES in Need, Look in the Mirror,
    2-Re-Lease your-Self !
    3-Slavery is dead.
    4-Wake-up! Stop Dreaming….
    5-Lights on, Nobody home, Get a life…
    6-Warning: Love Slaves get no G-raves.

  5. A friend of mine once made a collection of Love Zombie-ish anecdotes from all her friends… she titled the collection ” Kamakazi Cupid ” …

  6. Oh I’m too late, but would’ve said:

    First he stole your heart, then he ate your brain: beware becoming the love zombie

    You’re nothin but cold comfort when you become a LOVE ZOMBIE.

    Undead girls are easy, don’t be a love zombie.

  7. oh, just missed it! But anyhow….

    Anxious? Over-sensitive? Insecure? Think your friend who told you he’s no good isn’t being supportive enough?

    Help is available. Call Love Zombies Anonymous now on 1300 UNDEAD.

    Choose Friends.
    Choose Dignity.
    Choose Life.

  8. These are great!!!! As always with these, it is hard to pick a winner but i am going to choose two – Equilibrium Girl – i love the alliteration of flee – forget flourish – and Earth Monkey – is your lover in your head and not in your bed…

    So something like ‘Is your Love In your Head – not in your bed? Don’t be a Love Zombie – flee-forget -flourish…” What do you think?

    Guys email me to claim your prize!

  9. Flee, forget, flourish.

    (If you REALLY want to make your point, you could being it with ‘For Fuq’s sake…’ )

    OR

    Finish it, fuq it off, forget it.

  10. how about this – with a slight nod to Rob Brezney – though for some reason he did NOT wish to be saved (LOL) – Please save us from secret admirers who are psychotic stalkers – he also seems keen on solar powered sex toys that work in the dark….

  11. I found this quote on tumblr today, and it expresses rather perfectly my motivation for never, ever being a Love Zombie ever again:

    β€œIt’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.”
    β€” Eartha Kitt

    It’s funny how often I’ll read a quote and be like, “Yes! This person really gets it!” then I’ll look up their astro and see they’re quite similar to mine. Like me, Eartha is a cap with sagg rising- someone who I think would really “get” how important it is to avoid love zombieism. She also had Venus in Aqua, which would probably help that as well.

  12. 😯

    ‘Met your soulmate? Feeling weak at the knees? Have a smile you can’t wipe off your face? Can’t catch your breath? Heart racing just that little bit faster? Can’t concentrate? It’s love*… and it’s perfect…

    A PERFECT time to RUN that is!

    * That isn’t love you’re feeling it’s your life force being sucked out of you by a love zombie, which has left you feeling light-headed and delusional.

    Please consult Mystic Medusa and her community for further treatment.

    (c) LOvE ZOmBie Exterminators

  13. I thought about this one. I would suggest if it’s going to be printed on a poster and able to purchase as a piece of art, then one wouldn’t want to alarm potential new love interests.

    so my thinking was something more self empowering while you’re transitioning from love zombie to potential wonder woman.

    Let go.
    Breathe.
    Gather (as in yourself-not to be printed!).
    Grow.

    I don’t know about others, and it may very well be my lilth in Scorpio in8th house, but the art in my home is very personal and secretive without being obvious. I tend not to explain or tell the stories of it, but rather if asked say something a little flippant like “it’s something I picked up from a flea market, art’s pretty personal don’t cha think? and it means whatever it makes you feel’…unless of course it’s the Piscean husband and he gets the blow by blow philosophy/meaning/symbolism/how it appeared In a dream, run down of it…by which time he’s usually tuned out and gets back to me a few days later about it.

    Xxx

    We gotta support our sisters going through this zombism stage, bad vibes/negative feelings/sadness and broken hearts are like a magnet for pulling more of the same shit in, thus the ‘let go’

    Nuff rambling. Peace and prosperity all.

    • I totally get where you’re coming from. If it were for my house, I’d want it to be Feng Shui friendly. Also old comic book style art would be cool!

  14. What have I got to lose? Everything! (Oh you know, just your dignity, money, job, friends, health and happiness)

    Every moment in life is precious. Spend it with someone who is really there (for you).

  15. Love is Blind but Love Zombies are delusional!

    Love is blind but Love Zombies lose ALL senses!

    Love is blind but love zombies don’t see, hear, act, think or speak clearly! Know when enough is enough!

    Don’t lose sense, don’t be a love zombie

    Love doesn’t equal pain and hurt

    If it hurts you it’s not love! Don’t be a love zombie!

    Don’t put yourself through the pain, it’s not worth it! Don’t be a love zombie!

    If your heart feels all chewed up you may have been attacked by the plague of the love zombie!

    That crazed look in your eye? That overwhelming urge to pursue till death do you part? You MAY just have been overcome by the recent plague of ‘Love Zombie-ism’. Get help before it’s too late!

    Do you really think that is love? Or have you just been overcome with an attack of the LOVE ZOMBIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Not returning your calls? Moving to another state to avoid you ‘keeping an eye’ on them? Umm…. It may be time to exorcise the LOVE ZOMBIE WITHIN!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Call 093403287629465 for help!

    Not returning your calls? Running fast in the opposite direction when they see you? Calling the police for a restraining order? I think it’s time you seek help for being under the curse of the LOVE ZOMBIE!!!!!! Seek help and support at http://www.mysticmedusa.com where former recovered love zombies can help you defeat the plague!!!

    OH MAN I could go on………….. More to follow lol πŸ˜€

  16. Okay, this is a bit American as they don’t have this in Australia (but in tons of other countries!):
    “Love doesn’t need LoJack.”

    Also:
    “Love yourself more.” Maybe with an image of a woman looking at herself in the mirror, looking like she likes what she sees. Something.

  17. The old Sex and The City line is a good one…

    “I love you…but I love me more”

    Or

    “one hit of bath salts away from eating someone’s face”

  18. When speaking of Love Zombies, the song “Wicked Game” by Chris Isaak instantly pops into my mind. Probably because that song can be interpreted as falling in love with someone, being with that person, and then losing them. On the other hand, I think it can be interpreted as falling in love with someone you can never have.

    “Nobody loves no one…..”

  19. The Joe Webb pics would be brill for this because in essence the person is not really there (although I keep picturing the overly dramatic comic book style pics of women that sometimes feature on here). Having said that the only things I can think of are other people’s quotes “never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option” is a favourite). I did read something recently that resonated which could be utilised somehow:

    Measuring the degree of your love for someone by the depth of your torment??? Then you could be suffering from love zombie syndrome.

    (Some of the signs of the affliction could then be listed Virgo style)

    • Brill empress i can see that in a graph format or scales
      heart on one side storm cloud with lightnening strike on other side or sim

  20. “By Neptune,you look sparking tonight…wait…no,not really”

    Or should we be inspired,instead of witty? Cuz Gem Jupiter allows only witty this year πŸ˜€ Witty & sarcastic.

  21. 1. Real Love Is Not Surreal
    2. Lovers Must Be Present To Win
    3. An Empty Hug Equals An Empty Heart
    4. Wishing Doesn’t Make It So
    5. Walk Away Before You Are Walked Over
    6. Disappearing Is Not Love’s Magic Trick
    7. Love Means Never Having To Ask Where Are You
    8. Dream Lovers Are Just That…Dreams
    9. Never Waste Your Time On Nothing
    10. Alone Is Better Than Lonely Within Love

  22. This is inspired by an anti-HIV infected needle sharing poster I see on the back of the toilet door.

    Karen was worried she’d get hooked. Her friend Sherrie told her it took more than one date to do that. So she went out with Dave. What she didn’t know was that Dave carried the Love Zombie virus, but like many people, didn’t know it – so how could Karen? All it took was one kiss. Next thing Karen was baking him snacks “for the train” and believing his soul had taken possession of her cat. She implanted a chip in his buttock to track his movements.

    If you, or someone you know is at risk of becoming a Love Zombie, call Love Zombie Rehab NOW for confidential, professional help.

  23. “Stop! Look into their eyes.
    Do they make you feel like a Love Zombie?
    If you telling your sensible soul to shut the F…k up
    Gather your Awesome and walk away!”

  24. “Feeling shitty now? Try getting back with him and discover a whole new level of shitty!”

    And this might be put into a series of posters in a succession as you go out of the cinema (after that really romantic movie where the main characters finally realize they are meant to be but after one of the characters kidnaps the other one. In the desert. For a month. True love…)

    “Have you lost your mind, girl?
    Don’t… just don’t!
    And no to that other shitty idea, too!
    Again, no!”

    But what about a short manual “How to spot the love zombies before it’s too late”? Would be much appreciated! Or how to avoid them, secret weapons?
    I suffer from their actions way too often. Could be my moon and venus in cancer sending the wrong vibes?

  25. I’m getting reallly tired of the Love Zombie archetype, but:

    “Your love and lust is better spent on the stars, yourself, and actual horror movie zombies.”

  26. I can’t think of a slogan, but I remember that time when I told my mom that I REALLY wanted to call my ex and make it up. I’ll never forget her advice:

    “Sit on your hands.”

    So maybe the slogan could be… “Tempted to call him? SIT ON YOUR HANDS!”

  27. I love this quote from Martha Gellhorn aka the 3rd Mrs Hemingway “All my life, idiotically, I thought that sex seemed to matter so desperately to the man who wanted it that to withhold it was like withholding bread, an act of selfishness. And all that bread is not worth a hoot in hell”. So maybe, “Not Worth a Hoot in Hell”?

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