How To Identify A Qi Vampire

Filed in Sagacious

Joanna Smielowska – Saatchi OnlineHow do you identify a Qi Vampire?

It’s not what you think. I have spent years thinking about this and believe i have emerged with the solution.

Traditionally, they say you can tell you’re dealing with a Qi Vampire when being around that person makes you feel tired, drained of energy, strangely depleted. So okay, we have all been there. Certain friendships, the end of some relationships, strange crazy-bats colleagues/biz associates/teachers. 

BUT the primary indicator that what you are dealing with is, in fact, a Qi Vampire is when you go over and OVER the exchange later on in your mind. It is like you just can not let it go, as you do dozens of other potential irritants. For instance, if you get bad service from a disgruntled shop assistant, even if they’re outright rude, you forget all about it shortly after.

Bad or weird service from a Qi Vampire lodges in your psyche.  How? Why? I don’t know. But it does. You know what i mean. It should not impact and if you analyze it intellectually, it is irrelevant  but somehow the Qi Vampire has gotten in through a chink.

What does the Qi Vampire think is going on in all this? I think they’re only half aware of it.

From their p.o.v. they always think you’ve gotten away with something, that you’re shiny and privileged in a way that the Qi Vampire is not.

So their snippy attitude has a lot more oomph behind it than just the standard not-really-a-waitress slacker thing. They’ve got enmity and they’re too cowardly to confront you directly so they attempt to fuq with your confidence. You being annoyed by them or even engaging with them feeds their Qi.

And of course, they’re too awful to generate their own life force/goodness/Qi/prana/vibe/creativity etc.

THOUGHTS?

Image: Joanna Smielowska – Saatchi Online

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Wish Upon a Star
Wish Upon a Star

The best thing for me to do is avoid eye contact. Personally they suck the energy out of my eyes. Of course at first you probably have no choice, but as soon as you find out they are Q Vampire, try it. Also, I read that this is the reason why Indians wear Kohl eyeliner: spiritual protection. Subconsciously I felt envious of women with Smoky eye because they had protection and I didn’t due to my lazy makeup practice. I tried this and yes it worked, and it wasn’t even kohl, just a natural eyeliner. The protection was strong, I… Read more »

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

So it would seem we all have something to say, a direct experience, repulsion, attraction, up close with someone we know.. ourselves or otherwise. I think the archetype of a Qi-Vamp is rare. I think we all have moments of Qi-Vamp needs, an essential need for specific energy that is low or empty within us. In an unaware state it will naturally be sought out externally, in an aware state we know we can provide for ourselves. It is an opportunity to learn… whether the vamp or vampee.. how do I/we manage our energy exchange? How do I allow or… Read more »

Silversoulsinger
Silversoulsinger

My thinking, as a response to this generous comment, is that they/we have cut our/themselves off from source. This energy is always there, true, so why leach off others? Because it is I/we who close the door.

Silversoulsinger
Silversoulsinger

Also, as an hilarious (to me) aside…this is my first comment made since joining and I got an auto generated avatar. A one eyed pirate crab thing. Lmao. I it. Cheeky thing.

Centaurus
Centaurus

Hi SSS – A one eyed pirate crab will make an excellent avatar! So… first comment and you made it on one of my posts and oddly I’m just logging in to read scopes – see your name but actually see the blog details and think new blog so click – um no…. old post and under my old ID. But y’know I’m having a torturously looong Pluto transit post his looong square to Uranus and … I have almost readopted it a couple of times but she went down with her ship so to speak which was the end… Read more »

catfish moon
catfish moon

Oh…so interesting and timely for me. I have had some serious Qi vampires in my life before….my exbrother-in-law always left everyone ruminating over his behavior.

then the expsycho scorpio boyfriend…..

so tuesday my boyfriend and I had something happen that echoed a similar circumstance with the ex. I got upset, was upset for hours. BUT then after some sleep I totally let it go.
Which has tons to do with me and my own personal work of letting go, but it also has to do with Taurus and the fact that he isn’t a Qi vampire.

Kit
Kit

Qi Vampires also smell bad. They also smile straight after they are rude or say mean things. Also, if they are challenged they will make it out like your the one having a go at them and being unreasonable.
I just cut a lot of them out since Saturn heading into scorpio. A very wonderful feeling. They also keep trying to contact me or when they knew I was leaving to give me a nice cutting remark. Good Riddance!

Pegasus
Pegasus

I rely on Archangel Michael and his mighty sword to zap ’em with a blazing blue light. When i have the salt holy water medal & frankincense in my hand then i know i’m in trouble & need assistance from a Big Gun. Forget superstitions and spells that’s buying into the game. Get to know about your Chakras and how they interact with each other and other peeps. Know the different between Re-Sponse & Re-Act (ion). Best protection is silence then there is nought for them to bounce back on, unfortunately they can almost force a re-action. The best response… Read more »

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

Greetings to the awesome Pegasus! 🙂 I do agree but I think the evolution en-mass is causing everyone to be super sensitive to the change in the notion of evolution and survival type matters and also with respect to the notion of communicative changes eg telepathy and so forth. But I digress… tis not why I wrote. I read a very interesting albeit strange article recently online about chakras (and I’m pro-chakra fyi) about Indigo peeps which essentially says shut them down. So.. I was surprised and have found myself a comfy place on the fence in my mutable way… Read more »

Pegasus
Pegasus

Sexx, w/o looking at site suggested, shall give you my immediate thoughts:Entities do exists, the biz about ‘open’ & ‘closed’ chakras no one knows what it means. Receptivity we do know about. The more we explore the astral & it’s not for the faint hearted the more you need to be a spiritual warrior. You are battling these creeps on an etheric level. More power to you. Out loud x 3 times ‘I am of the light’ is supposed to be a guarantee to lose them.’ Fuq off’ works just as well.Not all are called to battle the ghouls, so… Read more »

Pegasus
Pegasus

Ok so speed read it. She lost me in the first paragraph.
Every significant ancient culture has energy centres mapped on their body systems, so we must all be star-seeded from aliens then according to her.
Have had both Barbara Anne Brennan’s books and my experiences are not the same as hers. Look to Alex Greys depictions of the body mind instead. More colourful 🙂

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

Ah yeah, I didn’t read it all but found some stuff further in on peeps who had shut down chakras in a permanant (?) manner and the relief they felf from different energies etc. Some of it was mind numbing .. true:)

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

Blessings Pegs and thanks for your thoughts on this matter. I like the way you’ve responded. Yes, nobody does in fact know and I guess I was after another idea on it all. I get spiritual warrior, not faint of heart and such and have used some profanity in a response on more than one occassion lol as well as channelled the light to save me from a shite situation where I thought I might actually perish. I don’t know what it’s all about. Really I’m quite perplexed and I doubt that chakra protection is actually effective in that space… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

Personally, i think f off is the most ringingly self affirmative blast backwards to incoming bs. It lessens my personal Qi to muck about trying to remember how to get a chant right. I like to think of it as the glory of my Mars T Squares with Uranus Pluto Sun and Mercury.

It happens when i get frightened into a corner.

But, you know, each to her own x

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Me.

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

You! You!

LoLoLoL.. no eff off to you M xxx

Simple, clean and swift yes.. but has not always been enough. That last fuq’er was a doozy. I’ve had a few in my day. My arsenal wasn’t working which kinda threw me and had me pondering other alternatives as a mutable is apt to do.. and where is the quick magical remedy btw 🙂 🙂

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Yes i read that link, and it just doesn’t qork for me tho i can see it works for that group. (Oh i wonder if i typed ‘q’ because i’m using a temporary computer at work with a dysfunctional ‘q’… and of course my morning documents all referred to a word beginning with that letter! New computers coming sometime during Merc Retro…shall probs miss that q-less keyboard.) Anyway, i’m highly intrigued by this recent thing of yours. Do you live in an older style house with a front verandah and couple of wooden steps? What’s at the left side and… Read more »

Scorched
Scorched

Doing the squeezy now. The ‘q’ made me laugh.. lots 🙂 You’re at work.. awww no.. well I hope it’s to qwazy (it’s a q thang!).
Will check mail xx

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

No i’m home.. perhaps a part of a 2nd and 3rd house Cap is always at work lol

Anonymous
Anonymous

What if you think you are an accidental Qi Vampire some of the time? How can you stop yourself being a Qi Vampire? I think everyone has the potential, if they are feeling a lack of confidence, to be needy (which can be very draining and Qi Vampireish). Not deliberately or from malice.

Anonymous
Anonymous

I think that this happens to all of us at some time or another. I mean, the non-deliberate kind where you’re so tied up in your shit you don’t even realize what you’re doing or how you’re behaving towards others. The only thing you can do is to become aware of this and change your mindset/attitude first towards yourself and then towards others. And I say first you must change your attitude towards yourself because if you just change your attitude towards other people, it doesn’t fix the actual problem. You’re just putting a blanket over something really deep seated… Read more »

quintile
quintile

good point – probably just being conscious of where you are ‘at’ when seeing other people will stop vampirish behaviour. For example, understanding the difference between a ‘debrief’ of 10 mins which comprises outlining the current problem, rather than going on and on for hours when obviously the other person is sooo over it. One of my best friends had a shocking and sudden marriage breakup and has had a very long road to recovery. I remember during the worst of it she came over and literally talked about the ex for 7 hours straight – I seriously worried that… Read more »

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

Absolutely! Perception is everything… always. And yes, of course it wobbles, gets distorted or feels manipulated by self or others or the weather, whatever but it’s still down to a viewpoint we adopt on something. We can’t stop someone from having a right ol suck (or attempt) of our Qi but we can hasten the cut or encourage the continuation by what we do with the insight. Sure bad things happen to good people all the time, and vice versa… that’s all under the loose banner of living a mortal life. It takes work to stay above the line, let… Read more »

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

Oooh.. if that came across as prely to you specific.. it wasn’t.. was a general pov 🙂

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

argh.. and a reply!!

Leda
Leda

Agree with many that there is a two-way dynamic operating… I know take responsibility for getting better at identifying and protecting. I think a key is to identfy the behaviour and what they are doing then it removes their power. i.e. think, “I see you are wishing to undermine / take from me because of your own inadequacies, poor you.” Mve out of vicim stance t warrior stance. having said that… big confession… in February had a full on 30 minute convesation over the phone with a Qi vamp at work. There had been tension and his boss encouraged him… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

F*d that he took your job away, darl, but once you settle back into your own soundtrack you know you will always hold your head up high over that one. Well done you!

Leda
Leda

Milleunanotte – “settle into my own soundtrack”…

I like that…bring on that day, I need old me back fast.. music may be the key… Thank you… 🙂

davidl
davidl

My weapon of choice with qi vamps. Mercury in Aries at zero deg stationing direct. As soon as I sense the attempt at manipulation , the sword (formerly known as my tongue) unleashes. Sometimes it’s clinical, swift and tidy, at other times more like a sledgehammer, messy. It shocks them to the core when the first slice has already disabled them, they never try it again. The interesting thing is the criticism I sometimes get from bystanders…like, hey man, that was a bit harsh ? Did you have to say that ? oh yes, I’m not just protecting myself, I… Read more »

Ruth
Ruth

Ha, you should be my councilor!! I’ve recently learned this technique, albeit 18 years too late!! An adviser said to me ‘Ruth, sometimes you have to allow self preservation to reign!!’. . I’d never looked at it from that angle before…As far as bystanders are concerned – they are infinitely easier to deal with than said soul-sucker and . It’s all a delicate balance and let’s face it Qi vampires are bad for your health and they usually live to 96 or so!

libretta.
libretta.

One thing I look for in people that I let in my life is the ability to be happy for others. Even if it doesn’t benefit them. Maybe even if they don’t especially like the person. If someone isn’t capable of this, they’re essentially vampiric. Unfortunately, this behavior is rampant, thus the fascination with vampires outliving us all. From their perspective, Vampirism= survival. These types truly enjoy seeing others hurt, because it gives them a sense of security. In this way they are different, and more cunning, than the average sociopath. I’ve lived through vampire hell this year since Saturn… Read more »

rosa
rosa

Yes – this!

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

God that sounds so good, libretta. May peace and freedom be yours… delicious! I especially like your very practical advice to have an escape plan and to back away slowly. Very sensible. You choose your battles: don’t go to war with a vamp; you disengage. And the scary ones are worth being supercareful with.

Anonymous
Anonymous

thank you!!

willowwolf
willowwolf

Thanks for that libretta, I needed to hear that today 🙂

quintile
quintile

Yes I think the ‘projection’ idea is a bit problematic – every set of individuals does work on a valency model – one person might bring out the best in me, another brings out the worst. This can also be accounted for by astro and family background – I have moon in pisces and pisces rising, am very reactive and have had to work my whole life to be more centred and pro-active about what I want and need. Growing up I was badly bullied by both mum and older sister (who went on to commit serious ‘elder-abuse’ on our… Read more »

Charley
Charley

Oh I agree so much. I’ve been thinking a LOT recently about how different people bring out different things in each other. One persons nightmare is another’s true love or whatever the situation. I’ve been finding it fascinating and somewhat comforting actually. Have met occasional universal bad eggs/Qi nightmares on legs, one in particular who is known as ‘the joy vacuum’ but mostly there’s always someone for everyone.

quintile
quintile

LOL the ‘joy vacuum’ – love it, hope i don’t get to use it 🙂

Anonymous
Anonymous

A point of view: I don’t agree that people necessarily “attract” Qi Vamps, or that the Vamps behaviour is just a “Projection” from the victim. Does an innocent child who loves life and loves people “attract” a narcissist mother? Did the commenters above attract a rotten boss? I don’t think so. I think in a world of 7 billion people at this stage of human evolution, that sort of person is out there. They have learned to get their needs met in certain ways. Because the methods work for them, they repeat the behaviour. If one turns up in your… Read more »

WryGrin
WryGrin

That was me

Anonymous
Anonymous

Thanks for posting Wry – have really enjoyed your comments on this thread – I’ve survived a full-on (maybe even a bit hardcore!) narcissistic mother, and appreciate the sharing of wisdom and positive imagery.
I agree with a few posts above: protect yourself and your vital energies, and life force, prioritise you, know how to set effective boundaries, and go for your own JOY in life! After being sucked dry, it’s hard to locate, but there it is! (as you say, the treats and delights in the jungle of life!).

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

good point.
Sometimes, (most of the time) bad people prey on good people that are minding their own damn business. Psychopaths in particular like to pick victims that are friendly, nice “weak” in their opinion. But, kindness is not a weakness.
I don’t prescribe to some New Age beliefs that you are poor because, you are bad or not spiritual enough and you attract bad things that happen to you. If you get cancer it’s because, it was all your own fault for having low vibrational levels.
Blaming weak, sick and the poor is not a solution either.
Perhaps, in some rare cases.

fallen angel
fallen angel

I love all the perspectives on Qi Vampires here, and obviously, encountering them is a maturing event in all sorts of ways. Though as some people have pointed out, some are not as easy to get rid of/avoid/dodge just because of their proximity due to either blood, shared space, marriage, employment etc. I have to say that I get to a point where I resent even discussing them as it just throws more energy and time their way. It’s a bit of a rocky road to that though – at least to begin with. Some are easily spotted i.e. hard… Read more »

rosa
rosa

Yes – this is a very good way of putting it.

Lucy
Lucy

I like the ‘throw a bucket of holy water’ suggestion on them.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Bring a super soaker squirt gun to work with you. 😉

Lucy
Lucy

The still-thinking-about-the-negative-exchange-thing hit home.

Two younger male customers picked at me until I lost my cool and I thought about it for a week. Mommy issues maybe, they were still young enough to live at home.

Anyway, I called them the Devil not Vampires but same thing-ish.

I will be looking at this more closely in my life.

SourPatch
SourPatch

Funny. I’m on vacation and had psychic reading done…in one part he said there’s a female (or females) who are trying to get under your skin and that I shouldn’t take it personally because its nothing to do with you as a person and everything to do with what they’re going through at the moment. He also said if I opened myself up to them, they would stop and become big allies. That part I laughed at….. because of reasons. There are indeed two people I’ve had issues with, one’s the Scorpio Assistant Manager whom at this point I wish… Read more »

Twinks
Twinks

I recently had this expierience and believe there is something to it. My Q Vamp tried hard to undermine my work and initiative out of simple insecurity. It bothered the hell out of me when I recognized what was going on and I couldn’t stop myslef from ultimately confronting the brain-sucker. But in the end I looked like a crazy for overreacting. You can’t win with these people. More calm & psychic protection is in order when you are dealing with jealousy.

hiddendragonqueen
hiddendragonqueen

i have to agree with the above comment about projection. i seem to attract qi vamps like flies to honey~ seriously, i cannot think of one person i interact with who does not completely drain me. it’s not possible that all these peeps~ my children? no.~ are vamps, hence, the problem must be me. my last 15 years of relationships- all my relationships really- could probably be classified as vampiric. unconsciously i think- we just recognized each other through our pain? i became aware of it only last year with my ex who i’d been psychically shielding myself from his… Read more »

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Introverts get drained easier than extroverts. They are also more drained or hyper-sensitive to others noise, and bs drama.
I am learning to balance isolation (me time) with social time.
I am a 60/40 introvert over extrovert and need time to recover.
Is it possible to take a vacation from all of them to recharge?

hiddendragonqueen
hiddendragonqueen

yeah, a month in a hermit’s cell might do the trick. unfortunately, zero money and the little bits of time i’ve been trying to grab for myself get turned into a huge guilt trip by my parents. i’ve been sleeping in a tent, which helps a bit… and smudging with mugwort every night has helped too… if only i didn’t have to wake up.

92% introvert, if i had to make a wild guess. 🙂

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

tell your parents doctor’s orders were to take it easy, get some free time and relax. Having a breakdown is NOT easy to recover from. do it now before it goes too far. Good luck.

hiddendragonqueen
hiddendragonqueen

it’s good advice, thank you. xox

jicky
jicky

great advice. if you are being drained (your children don’t mean to do it but sounds like you need more help with them?). parent’s guilting – get some perspective on that one – maybe they would like to take care of them more often so you can get some down time. what are your goals and plans? get some counselling to bounce things off and have someone on your side – there are free services or near to free services out there. SR is right – if you have a breakdown it takes a long time to rebuild emotionally and… Read more »

hiddendragonqueen
hiddendragonqueen

my whole plan in escaping to my parents’ house was for them to have lots of fun times with their grandchildren and for me to have some downtime and heal. my breakdown happened two years ago, was never acknowledged by me or anyone else. unfortunately i come from a long line of stoic emotional avoidance- life will be just fine if we get another degree or run another ultramarathon and we’ll all just smile and make nice and neither see nor hear each other. it’s been heartbreakingly clear how emotionally alone i am- a saturn moon transit 6 months before… Read more »

WryGrin
WryGrin

Scorpio Rising

Thanks for the insight re introverts.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

sure! 🙂
Take time to recharge!!!

Lucy
Lucy

Sometimes it’s also about strengthening your own life force so you can be around people without getting too drained.

Not just blocking them out but actually working on your own life force so you are more balanced, healthy and will remove yourself from the fray sooner because you have a more intuitive boundary in place. There will be more energy left over for you.

anon
anon

I am dealing with an energy vampire/drama queen of Miss Piggy proportions. She doesn’t realize she’s her own worst enemy and her own problem. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy. She rages when the waitress “ignores” her in her mind 30 seconds is reason to order “off with her head.” She fights with the waitress, the bartender. Glares at other patrons. Talks loudly about the shitty service, cold food, warm beer and gets more obnoxious as she drinks. Farts and belches in public without apology. Going out with her for a beer to talk is listening to her complain how she doesn’t… Read more »

anon
anon

to add to it. She went to a psychic for past-life work and it seemed to make things worse not better. The psychic friend told her she was a “princess” in a past life and should demand better treatment in this one. From what I can see she is the one abusing others not the other way around. She has turned into a Queen of Heart-less Hearts demanding special treatment and “respect” and demanding to be invited everywhere I go. Instead of her adjusting her attitude to patience, modesty and empathy she’s becoming a full blown narcissist. Not sure what… Read more »

Leda
Leda

Anon,
I am sure ‘living this’ is pure hell, but from an outsider, yours posts are utterly hilarious an I’m immediately thinking of a comedy on the big screen… Come on, an obnoxious loud mouth who then gets told she was a princess in a preious life and ‘should’ demand even more from people / the world? Bloody hilarious!

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Trust me, it’s funny when I am not directly experiencing it! 😉
I can laugh now after the fact. Unfortunately, if I allowed it the melo-comedy-drama would never end.
I really wish I was at the liberty to spill more, it’s quite funny and involves some interesting people. 🙂

poppalina
poppalina

Banned from my life, these babies are, I tell you….. BANNED.

chaos in virgoan form
chaos in virgoan form

thats brilliant! I think thats how Ive really learned to walk around with huge walls around me all the time not letting anyone know how they make me feel…its just so much safer that way. The vampires just love any heightened emotion you release it feeds them: but they especially love when you are stressed and scared its like heroin to them. Ive found black tourmaline to be one of the best talismans against these guys. Either it repels them away from you, like there is a disinterest which I find kinda funny, or when being in there presence there… Read more »

relativetoQivampire
relativetoQivampire

This is so accurate a description Mystic- I would add a defining aspect of a Qi vampire is their victim-hood – they create it, parade it, wallow in it, are only happy when they’re victims. And so need an audience for their dramas/victim episodes. Being a victim means that nothing is their responsibility – it’s always someone else who is at fault, never them, they are ALWAYS the innocent victim. Their dramas and episodes might even include threats of suicide, veiled or direct. They are extremely shrewd as they can so accurately zero in on people who are sympathetic by… Read more »

WryGrin
WryGrin

Nice one. Agree with your description re their needing all drama on them. If a terrible accident happens between two people the Vamp knows, the drama is how the Vampire feels devastated! Not how the two injured people are coping. My ma and I were walking along a street in a big city one day and we saw a young, vulnerable-looking, possibly homeless girl sitting in a pub doorway next to a dog, and sobbing her heart out. I was immediatley concerned to my core. “Should we go over and see if she needs help?” I asked my mom. Mother… Read more »

Dominique
Dominique

Hmm… I must have a LOT of Qi Vampires! Sounds like my experience with many, many people. And yes, when I’ve made the mistake of showing my annoyance/disdain for them, that gives them more power. The only way to deal with people like this is to cut them off at the source. And I am the source! Of their energy, their happiness, etc. So I don’t tolerate being close to (or acquainted with) Qi Vampires. I’d much rather be a total loner – with absolutely no one in my life – if they’re all going to be Qi Vampires.

Luckyshell
Luckyshell

I think you hit it dead on. My husband had an old friend who is the worst Qi Vamp I’ve ever encountered. A few years ago he was working with him on a regular basis and every night he would come home and stew about what horrible things the guy said or did and it would last for HOURS, sometimes even DAYS. The vamp in question would constantly undermine him, debate every little thing he said, and create confrontational drama all while asserting that he was superior by comparison. It got so bad that one day, while discussing his latest… Read more »

Charley
Charley

This makes so much sense Triffid, thank you.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Great advice Triffid!
(More book titles about narcissists is “stop treading on eggshells” and “I hate you, don’t leave me”).

willowwolf
willowwolf

Just a quick reply so I haven’t read everyone elses yet. I had a friend and that is just what would happen, but as she was a Scorp multiple Saggi I think it was deliberate most of the time. And yes she was after something – always. Her only ‘friendships’ were based on what she thought she could get out of a person – if it didn’t well ………………Nasty. Very devious & draining. Another friend married to a Qi vampire, by your definition Mystic, is becoming a problem. We’ve managed to manage them, but now she keeps turning up and… Read more »

willowwolf
willowwolf

shocking spelling ;-( sorry so much worse than usual …

willowwolf
willowwolf

Only just back……but it’s worrying me that I said solar plexus which is the third chakra ( it is isn’t it?) – I think it’s the second chakra that Qi vamps attach too.

Ms. Leo Noir A
Ms. Leo Noir A

” … they’re too awful to generate their own life force/goodness/Qi/prana/vibe/creativity etc.” Hell, yes. A Toro man-child I once dated sucked me dry, fuq’d me off with blatherings of needing to be alone, tried to pick up one of my best friends online two weeks later, then tried to make me seem like the bad guy when I scrambled up to the highest branch on my Leo-cat-tree to get away from his pitiful ‘let’s be friends (so I can continue to hoover your Qi)’ moo-ings. Sending less thoughts his way these days, and he’s heading off o/s next month, so… Read more »

Feline
Feline

Very interesting. I am heavy Leo (Sun, and a bunch else), and all the worst vamps I have encountered have been Taurus. Two were siblings, then two bosses and a co-worker. Maybe this is a hangover from growing up with vampy bulls, but I still am very cautious about getting close to a Taurus, any Taurus. And the only cure I have found is distance.

Ms. Leo Noir A
Ms. Leo Noir A

Same, actually. I sometimes find it hard to be around Toros for some reason, even the ones in my immediate family. Whenever I’m around them, I get irritable and impatient, and want to walk away. Wonder why?

Funny thing was, that every time I was around this particular Toro guy, my solar plexus would start buzzing, and I’ll feel physically sick! You’d think that would be a pretty obvious sign … but I was so taken in by his charm by then … *rolls eyes* Sad!

Damons
Damons

I call them…. fuqwits.

I have two of them working on a project I am involved with. One is the overlord, the other is the underling/henchman..

Can I kill them?

Can I? Please, can I?

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

throw a bucket of holy water on them. 😉

Virgo Ellie
Virgo Ellie

Yup, I can name one that sticks out very clearly. However, I picked up on another recently and distanced myself because it was gonna get to the “into psyche” mode so I walked. I can’t stand them. The first one was in my opinion just looking to create drama. They thought they were doing the right thing and trying to help but for me it was complete drama. AND surrounding a guynthat I was dating. The second also surrounding a guy,… the same guy. It has drained me and also caused problemw with the guy I was seeing. I didn’t… Read more »

Virgo Ellie
Virgo Ellie

PS:.. I also call them Energy Vampires!

eleneetha
eleneetha

OMG..I lived this whole thing at work yesterday..sometimes, I feel like my own QI vampire..I get so intensely preoccupied with something I’ve said or done.

I can’t seem to keep my mouth shut and with mars on my sun , I’ve gone and done just that..spoke out and spoke my mind and basically snapped at one of my favorite work mates and I couldn’t sleep all night because of my words!

I just didn’t feel like wading through the river of her dark mood is all.
(getting full on zap zone here)

thank you I love you Mystic:)

Lulu
Lulu

Again, you have nailed it.

mulltiair
mulltiair

This is enormously helpful Mystic. Life-changing even. Bless you!

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

yes, thank you.
Enlightening topic on a dark subject.

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

I’ve never considered this viewpoint before. Interesting … idea. I’m not sure if it would always be so as it could just as easily be me replaying what I could have done differently etc but yeah, sure it could just as easily be that too I suppose. I will astutely assess the next time if occurs which I hope is not any time soon btw 🙂

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

“they always think you’ve gotten away with something, that you’re shiny and privileged in a way that the Qi Vampire is not.” I had one in my life for years. I am still shedding her toxic effects – she is a Gem sun/Gem moon/Aries rising… Very competitive, very manipulative. I much later read she went to a professional meeting using my credentials. Some time later, she gained an edge over me – again professionally – and made me know it by answering my query to a professional list by writing “it is surprising to hear your presence in these meetings”.… Read more »

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

LOL! I saved your suggestion. If I ever get a hold of a personal item of that person, will definitely try 🙂

I think this is the trick – you don’t want to harm, just ask a higher authority to take away the emotions the person causes.

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

Really? Then I am on. Will report, thank you 🙂

quintile
quintile

LOL – I did the ‘name on a bit of paper and put it in the freezer” to help me move on from obsessive LZ crush. I do think its working!

Bron
Bron

“From their p.o.v. they always think you’ve gotten away with something, that you’re shiny and privileged in a way that the Qi Vampire is not.”
— yep true, the vamps think they’re the victim and poor me poor me poor them. whatever.

” and they’re too cowardly to confront you directly so they attempt to fuq with your confidence. You being annoyed by them or even engaging with them feeds their Qi. And of course, they’re too awful to generate their own life force/goodness/Qi/prana/vibe/creativity etc.”
— true again, they constantly flip the power and are usually in positions of power.

Miss anonymous!!!
Miss anonymous!!!

Triffid, I know from several years of being in here that you know a lot about this. What if it’s your mother? What if your her only child, and almost the only family she has left. But being near her is painful ans being away from her is guilt-ridden, because she’s really the only family you had growing up. But she’s frighteningly controlling whilst seemingly oblivious. Yes, I am getting counseling. Yes I am on here regularly but I am being anonymous because more than anything, I find this the hardest area of my life to deal with. But I’d… Read more »

Anon
Anon

Someone once said to me ‘You wouldn’t drink a cup of poison just because you felt guilty, would you?’ So if someone is that toxic you need to do what is best for you, not stay in touch out of guilt (and this was about my mother) I have a similar family scenario and am not in touch with either parents and it is such a relief. I could try and try to have ‘some’ kind of relationship with them, but it would always be ‘unreal’ so I am not going there. It is very sad, and I have more… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

I too, have had some counselling re my ‘difficult’ relationship with mother – and yes, I agree, you get to realise your good boundaries: you don’t have to take ANY crap from anyone, even if it is a close relative, or that ‘sanctity’ of mother. You wouldn’t let a friend treat you that way – so, it takes time, but yes; keep it up and be strong! You can still have a relationship; just more on YOur terms!

Anon
Anon

To quote Kenny Rogers: I think you gotta “know when to hold ’em (stay in touch and work through it) and know when to fold ’em” (cease contact) 😉 and what’s best will be unique for each person.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Ha! brilliant! — maybe not so cut and dried in real life tho, but still, I like it, thanks Kenny too!

Anon
Anon

Yes, doesn’t mean there is any less heartbreak at all, but you get the analogy.

WryGrin
WryGrin

And Know When to Run.

I am not joking. I think the lyrics in that song are perfectly true.

And when you run ( remove yourself completely from a sociopath) or otherwise stop taking crap, there is then room for all the lovely people. You’ve shown the universe you only accept good treatment. So you then receive that, either from your problem person if they’re open to it, (mine wasn’t) or from a myriad other great people who already know how to treat people decently.

Miss Anonymous Again
Miss Anonymous Again

It’s harder than that. I have a young daughter who adores her, they adore each other, and she helps me with my girl. But the things she’s done and said, and still says…I can’t cut her off, it’s not so much guilt as duty, and in a way I believe that family is duty, and I am not being a martyr, not at all. But I think my daughter has a right to her grandmother, that makes two members in her close family. I can’t cut my mother off. It would mortally injure me as well. I just need to… Read more »

FireyGBSomething
FireyGBSomething

thinking on what triffid said of energy hooks – plexus or heart – maybe 2 hooks are possible from same person? – so, mum’s plexus hook to you needs to be cut, but not her heart hook ….

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Can you blunt with her? Ever tell her to stop being a controlling jerk?
Seriously?
I would. You might feel a lot better and she’ll respect you.

Anon
Anon

Great point. Don’t tiptoe around the issues. It is easy to still feel like a scared little girl around a difficult parent (because they are manipulative etc), but you are an adult now and can stand up for yourself and don’t need to take it anymore!

Anon
Anon

I think also some people can be judgmental towards someone who doesn’t want to have a relationship with their family or they just don’t understand. They think ‘it’s family – family is everything’. I think that is bullsh*t. It’s hard to understand unless you’ve gone through it. I am really happy not having my parents in my life and am working on getting that sense of family elsewhere. It’s hard, but I’m a lot happier and relieved.

Miss Anonymous Again
Miss Anonymous Again

For me, I can’t. That would leave me and my daughter without family except for each other. I understand how other people could reach that point. For me, in a shallow way, that was the easy option, but it wasn’t really because it hurt. I feel the need to try to deal with it like a Zen Buddhist, but how to do that is a bit of a trip.

Anonymous
Anonymous

I posted up earlier – I too, have 2 young kids, and wouldn’t deny them their grandmother, but I had to have counselling to get me through mental and emotional anguish at the destruction she was wreaking, and that I started to feel I was going nuts myself!!…. After learning how better to exercise boundaries (again, I say it) – and use distance when I NEED to, I still have her in my life, and cutting her off wasn’t an option. But saving my sanity and protecting MY well-being was. You’ll know what feels right. It’s tough going, and you… Read more »

cosmic fleece
cosmic fleece

Dear MA,
Is there something you could do to help diffuse the feelings – ie next catch up go on a walk, ferry, some kind of adventure where everyone is outdoors and things said that you dont want to carry around can be taken care of by the outside elements ? Even a drive to a park in the car, ust getting out of the normal place where you usually catch up. just an idea hun. Peace, and be brave, you have a good heart.

OK I'm Anon too
OK I'm Anon too

Interesting.
For a loong time, the only thing that stopped me having children was to protect them from their Grandmother. No way would I want her to damage them the way she damaged me. Defenceless children with young hearts and minds. Even as an adult it takes a lot to get over each attack. No way would I subject my own child to that.

Time passed with no contact. I healed and I’m not afraid of her anymore.

Link
Link

Duty schmooty as was said above–Would you drink a cup of poison because you felt it was your duty?

I think pissing of their daughters once and for all is a huge relief for some Mothers too.

Link
Link

I’m so glad you said that. I think the whole family are everything mentality is a load of old cobblers bound only to make us feel guilt and disappointment when we find we really really really cannot tolerate them and that frankly they behave as if we were their mortal enemy.

Anon
Anon

I think it depends on the ‘issues’. If it is not too severe then yes maybe it can be worked through. People are bad at talking about stuff. Maybe it can be worked through if it comes to light or even if one of the two involved knows what they’re doing in terms of boundaries etc. If the parent is psycho – walk away! I am single and have no family in my life at all. I did not take my decision lightly. It’s hard! But I was tired of being emotionally and financially drained and knew I would never… Read more »

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

You need to cut your emotional reactions, not your mother out of your life. If/when you have time, check a book called “Cutting the ties that bind”, it is about parental relations. There should be a website summarizing the technique.

WryGrin
WryGrin

Wow, love that the draining customers just wandered off confusedly.

Nice one

Miss Anonymous is back
Miss Anonymous is back

Isn’t it funny – of all the things that hurt the most, you know, blokes and their ways, etc etc, it’s this issue that hurts so much I can’t even talk about it under my assumed other alias because i don’t even want people I don’t know to know how much this affects me. Thanks Triffid – I will try. I went to see my counsellor today – he’s lovely. And in answer to the above – I am as blunt as old socks. I’ve told her over the years to fuque off out of my life, to stop being… Read more »

Anon13
Anon13

Create a new healthy family, even if it is just you and your daughter. Rather than trying to create one out of you, your daughter and the devil! That is how you can start a new tradition and be a good example. I don’t know if this turd can be polished. It is awful and heartbreaking.

Best of luck. *Hugs*

Aquagem
Aquagem

I’m an Aqua sun, Cappy moon, Gemini rising, so emotions are not on the top of my list. I went out with a self-entitled Sag. addict for 10 years. We had three dogs together that were like my kids. I called to tell him I was coming up to the house, and he informed me that he had “met” someone. 3 days later she was living there. Turns out she was a former escort and violently abusive and abused. She would call me in the middle of the night on his phone and say “you had him for 10 years,… Read more »

Porkchop
Porkchop

“Finally met the love of his life”
How awful for someone to say that!!!
Just cause someone appears to be ‘winning’ because they’ve found someone ASAP, that doesn’t mean anything – just means they’ve found a quick way to avoid looking at their relationship behaviour patterns. All they are going to do is repeat any negative relationship patterns with this new person, because they haven’t taken any time out to sort things out.

And we never know what lurks beneath the surface in any scenario! Things may look good for someone but be totally sh*tsville!

ToroScorp
ToroScorp

But isn’t that what qui vamps do…they lay it on thick. They don’t just start going out with someone …they “finally meet the love of their life”……
I’ve become rather sceptical of anyone who is laying it on thick. The particular qui vamp I know has had “an amaazing spiritual connection”with at least six people/partners in the last four years.
I hope I don’t sound too grumpy! But i have been on the receiving end of the “love of my life”stuff too, and the adoration bit only lasted about 3 months. Vamps get bored after that?

Anon
Anon

And hey, Heidi and Seal renewed their vows every year and are they together now? Nope.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

True, very true.
Romantic love vs real love.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Intense “new loves” can be addictions.
Love of the life and soul-mates can also be co-dependent destructive relationships that burn bright and then out.
Frankly, I’d take true love that’s quiet over brash, loud noisy dramatic “love-of-my life” bs anyday.

Charley
Charley

Yeah me too, been there, done that, wasn’t real and wasn’t nice.

ToroScorp
ToroScorp

Thankyou Mystic, how very timely and apt!! Have not as yet read through all the replies on this thread but suffice to say the past six weeks I have been Googling that very question “how do you recognise an energy vampire?”. For some reason of late, say, the past six months, the qui vampiredom energy…(or lack of)..has been ramped up to the effect that I have actually been pushed to the point of severing my association with them. As if everything had been put into a high pressure crucible causing the elements to bond or separate!! But back to your… Read more »

if you fall... dive
if you fall... dive

yeeeeesssssss! a katako i dated back in ’08 did that shit ALL THE TIME. but it’s okay, because he totes said he loved me, just… couldn’t stand anything about me. all i needed to do was change to fit his mold, right? soooooo reasonable, with his “i’m sorry i don’t compromise, that’s not a good way to be” and then never even trying to change… and his mom would come sobbing to him every time she was super stressed out over something, since she clearly had no close friends to do this with. i mean, omgosh. and the sex was… Read more »

Quintile
Quintile

I have recently draw a line between an old kataka friend and I – same shit – very sentimental but too ready to criticize every and any thing about me. Let her back into my life after 10 years absence, partly coz we share a very good friend, but before long she found an opportunity to criticize and attack (assumed) behaviours via email. Urghhhh shudder – and porkchop – agree with most comments. Your anger IS real and genuine – the therapist has really crossed boundaries. Very unprofessional – now – what will you do about it?

Anon
Anon

Joining in on the train of those drawing the line with the Katakas. Exact same thing here, Quintile. Even when I try to remain as neutral and bland as possible, she finds something to snap at me about. I blame it on the Zap Zone hitting her Sun exactly. Mars is about to batter her Sun by square also, joining in with that Uranus square still pushing on her. I feel sorry for her because I know she must be beyond stressed, but she needs to find a healthier way to release it than to chew on me.

RamCapricorne
RamCapricorne

Wow thank you MM this describes my ex perfectly . That’s how I felt that ENTIRE relationship and it lasted a year I kick myself for staying so long I blame my Pisces venus

andromeda
andromeda

Oh, I read yr name as ‘Ramricorn’! Pisces Venus, I have Cancer Venus, it’s ridiculously loyal – thank goodness for my Gem Asc. or I would be with some seriously silly guy.

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

That’s so awesome, Triffid, the heart chakra vs solar plexus biz. Energetically, this makes sense to me.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Yep, good stuff – always had terrible physical churning in my gut area/solar plexus when contacted by these certain folk.
Also – dynamics can change over time, and with a few protections/medtiations/shrugging offs later, they may not affect you in the same way, and you take back your power.

Sometimes Ainslie.... Sometimes not
Sometimes Ainslie.... Sometimes not

Ahhhhhhh! : ) the light switches on : ) thankyou.

Porkchop
Porkchop

I just ordered the Wayne Dyer book ‘Pulling Your Own Strings’ – I can’t wait till it arrives!

cosmic fleece
cosmic fleece

Good on you Pork Chop, I dig him, and get his audio books out of the library to listen too in the car. A Haute Leo friend sent me some of his stuff just after first child when i felt i was vortexing out of control (re no sleep/hormones/etc) .. i dig him and what he has to say. xx The one i’m on in the car, talks about unbinding yourself from your grief, amongst other things (My mum could really do with a listen, but im super weary about putting people onto anything unless they ask. ) Can check… Read more »

Porkchop
Porkchop

I have been feeling ENRAGED since yesterday. A counsellor that I see emailed me yesterday to see how I was doing cause she hadn’t heard from me for a little bit (we do some work over email in between sessions). I have been seeing a new grief counsellor (does different work to the type my old counsellor does, and I will still work with the old counsellor cause she does different stuff) to help me really get over this ex stuff and move on. So I tell her that I am doing great etc. and feel like a million bucks…… Read more »

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

Uh, your counselor had No Business saying shit to you re your ex!!

I seriously question the ethical integrity of this counselor. For one, she broke your ex’s confidentiality and depending on the laws where you live, breaking confidentiality is not only unethical but Illegal, too!

For two, a counselor does not “stir the pot” by gossiping to you re your ex! WTF?!

Re Qi Vamps: this counselor is suspect! Why? Because she’s seriously abusing her authority and power, that’s why.

Cut the tie, and report her!!

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

Gee, I wonder what she’s telling your ex about You… hmm…

Never. See. Her. Again.

hummingbird
hummingbird

Yep – I second that – never see her again – grossly unprofessional, not to mention completely insensitive. Walk away VERY fast and don’t look back. Your new counsellor sounds much better (just think how you felt after your last session with them, as opposed to this).

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Agreed.

Counselors are only human too, sometimes Energy Vampires will take jobs in grief counseling to feed on others.
Seriously, bad juju wrapped in a haughty attitude.
Had a counselor pull that then hit on my boyfriend.

WryGrin
WryGrin

Agreed. I AM GOBSMACKED that your counsellor would a) mention another patient’s case with you; and b) snarkily imply that you would have some kind of reaction to his making progress. Gross misconduct. But why are you entangled with seeing a counsellor your ex is also seeing? Incestuous and yukky. Leave her. You need someone to understand YOUR perspective. She is never going to be that person if she needs to be on his side too. ALSO – a GRIEF counsellor OF ALL PEOPLE should not rush you into a forgiveness stage. In my experience forgiveness happens all by itself… Read more »

Porkchop
Porkchop

Thanks for your comment. I feel less crazy now! I had already known he was seeing her cause I (stupidly, when I was still in contact with him) convinced him to start seeing her again cause he was so miserable about work. She is amazing at what she does (personal development stuff, not traditional counselling), but things have gotten too familiar/friendly between us. Her comment made me feel like I shouldn’t have any ill will towards him or should be over it already, any bad feelings are my illusions/ego talking, each person just did the best they can blah blah.… Read more »

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

“things have gotten too familiar/friendly between us” Yeah: Bad Sign! None of this is your fault, I don’t care if you lent your ex the car to get to his first appt with her. She has ethical and legal obligations that she is putting aside– and causing damage in the process! She has No Biz bringing his doings up to you, and she sounds like an effing trouble-maker/guilt-tripper/probably sleeping with some of her clients/exploiting people/power-tripping kind of a person. And it sounds like she really enjoys her vamping, too. Sorry: I get pretty uppity about this shit. I hate hearing… Read more »

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

And yeah, she’s good here or there… Probably pretty charming… Kind of sucks a person in…

Vampire!

Porkchop
Porkchop

Thanks, I appreciate your advice and that’s a good point about the professional thing. I think the good thing is that I have become this peeved off at a time where I feel like actually saying something back and asking for a boundary and for my feelings to be respected. Rather than just taking any comments or advice that she or anyone says as gospel. Maybe that is a good sign. If I tend to attract certain behavior from others maybe this is to help me recognize this and take action (i.e. my feelings aren’t valid). I do tend to… Read more »

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

All right, but remember: You don’t owe her Shit! Not an explanation, not another appt, nothing. Probably you need to pay any outstanding fee, but nothing more! You owe her nothing.

Good luck, Porkchop. Stay strong xoxo

Porkchop
Porkchop

Thank you SO much for your encouraging words! I am feeling heaps better. Might still buy myself a cupcake after work though… 😉

WryGrin
WryGrin

Enjoy the cupcake,
Porkchop.

Btw love your username

Fifi
Fifi

Ditto to everything Scorporation says!! This sort of stuff makes me fume – we place so much trust in counsellors/psychs to take care of us at our most vulnerable times. The one big reason they get that trust is their strict confidentiality. I would have said exactly the same as Scorporation, maybe not as eloquently ; ) Seriously time to look elsewhere if over familiarity and breach of privacy have entered the room. You can be thankful for the good stuff she did in the past but she’s taken it to another territory now – which is only messing with… Read more »

Porkchop
Porkchop

Thanks for the ideas! Last night I wrote some angry letters and ripped them up. Will do some journalling too.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Seeing a counselor that he doesn’t also see is best for now.
She’s involving herself like a mutual friend not, a distant professional should.
You need someone to listen to you not gossip about how well he is doing. That’s childish and bizarre.

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

Yeah I have to agree, it’s a confidentiality breach essentially. He may not be aware that you know and even if he is and lets say he suggested the info be passed on to you I’d still consider that unethical and crossing various boundaries.

And in email??

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth

Although I should add that I would probably not see the same counsellor as an ex or someone I was working to move beyond. I think it can potentially set everyone up in a tricky dynamic to navigate through. That;’s just me though, I’d feel like I was still connected with the counsellor as conduit.

Trust yourself to make the right decision for your wellbeing and you will see the clear path PC.

I like what DT wrote as well.

jicky
jicky

if you are in australia the problem is that anyone can call themselves a counsellor. ensure that you connect with a counsellor (or psychologist) who is registered with professional organisations (again, in oz it’s AHPRA). That way you have recourse if confidence is breached. Coz if she is telling you about him then what is she telling him? I think that you are best to break ties with this lady who does not seem professional enough to handle your situation and provide you with the support that you need.

Porkchop
Porkchop

Thanks for your comment. Yeah, I think it made me conclude that I will probably never be able to be friends with him ever. No matter how much I spend on counselling, lol. And even though I don’t think I would enjoy hanging out with him really, that makes me sad as we were together for a decade. I did realise that my reaction was bringing up something, as it has been so strong, but I still wish she had STFU. It also made me realise that sometimes, even if someone sees a situation and thinks they understand it or… Read more »

Aqua
Aqua

There is a definite ethical problem with this counsellor…she should NOT be sharing such information between the two of you. In fact, there may be a conflict of interest regarding impartiality by treating both of you, knowing what one thinks about the other and (possibly by what you’ve indicated from her behaviour) passing it on, back and forth. Get away from this person. You may have made progress with her before…but this is a co-dependence thing where she seems just a little threatened that you aren’t seeing her so much and throws in just enough to reel you back in… Read more »

Porkchop
Porkchop

Hi Aqua Thanks for your comment!
I had told counsellor A (does more skill development than talk therapy) that I wanted to see counsellor B (grief counsellor/talk therapy) as I was feeling really stuck and counsellor A said that she also thought hat this was a good idea. But now things do feel weird for me regarding counsellor A after her comments. and like there is some other stuff going on, like you suggest, and too much familiarity for sure.

Porkchop
Porkchop

Thanks to everyone for their helpful advice. I definitely feel SO much better. I ended up sending a reply and will take things from there…

I felt upset after reading this joke and think it was a bit in poor taste. I’m sure that wasn’t your intention, you have always been more than helpful to me, but please do not make comments like this to me as I felt belittled.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

I’d let her know that you doing great, so great in fact you no longer need therapy anymore. Say you met someone new and have new plans in life. Thanks. later.
Allude to great things are happening and see if your ex “hears” about it. Then you’ll know if she repeats what you tell her.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Your counselor sounds unprofessional, plus she shouldn’t discuss his progress or therapy for you.

fallen angel
fallen angel

Agree with everyone here regards counselor breach, I don’t think it was malintended but there are two things that stand out: One, she’s unaware that she’s now thinking of herself as a friend to both of you rather than someone completely independent. Her lines have been blurred, hence her blurring yours as well. Two, I DO think this is an excellent sign of growth, healing and strength on your part. You mentioned (in the moment of rage obviously) that this made you feel crappy and that what happened was 100% your fault rather than 50%, then how Counselor A’s hapless… Read more »

Porkchop
Porkchop

Yeah, what has been good is that I can now see things are too ‘friendly’ and blurry and that is not helpful to me.

And yes, I don’t want to take sh*t from anyone, lol.

Thanks for your thoughtful comment.

I thank everyone who has put in their two cents, all of your advice has been uber helpful!

Creatrix
Creatrix

There are definitely some sad people out there intent on upsetting but I totally agree with the ‘receptivity’ idea. Sometimes other deplete you as you get this hopeless feeling which reminds you of yr own issues. Eg my narcissist dad used to upset me hugely but I noticed when I meditated he was really easy to deal with, a psychic shield of good energy radiates.

.

Echo
Echo

What about the idea that the people that bother you are the ones that you project your shadow onto? No one can take your power/qi unless you let them… Takes two to tango and thats sort of thing. Very interesting topic….perhaps the moral of the story is Know Thyself.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Echo I like this – I have been also wondering the same thing myself! (for are we vampires to the ones we are ‘bothered’ by?!) I do think it fair to own our own projections, and try to be aware of our own shadow selves, which some certain people more than others – bring out in us.
And we can learn a lot from these people – even if it’s just to stay away from them!

Echo
Echo

Hi Anon

Avoid those who you cannot accept, accept those who you cannot avoid, and have wisdom to know the difference….

just having a laugh….such a conundrum!

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Know Thyself
yes, always great advice!

WryGrin
WryGrin

No offence Echo, but you speak like someone who has never met a sociopath or narcissist.

Believe me it is a breed apart. Incomprehensible to humans with beating hearts.

However, I agree with your POV in regards to our relations with garden variety imperfect humans. There’s always a lesson for our own imperfect selves.

Echo
Echo

None taken WryGrin. I have spent a long arduous r-ship with a psychopath who was incapable of even the most basic compassion and now have PTSD as a result. When I left him he said “at least one thing you got from this is how to spot a wanker” and now indeed I can. There is a big difference between someone being a total c-nt and them actually getting to you IMHO – life experiance has taught me such. Unfortunately we all have a chink in our armour somewhere…

Echo
Echo

that is to say if he wasnt a hot bed for my projections I would have run a mile in the first instance – and had I not run a mile no way could he have devestated my psyche the way he did, cos I would see his behaviour for what it is and cut it off – ….

what a cruel world

Saggisue
Saggisue

Spot on Mystic!

Bright
Bright

My dad was the worst Qi Vampire. He’s gone now but I still feel like he’s sucking the life out of me.

Anon
Anon

Haha. He’s not a Virgo is he? My dad is a Virgo Qi vamp too and my Leo sister.

Bright
Bright

No, my father was a Sagittarius.

Sagg Girl
Sagg Girl

Oh, yes, this makes way more sense to me than the old ‘they make you feel drained’ thing. I have had a hideous time for years with a couple of Qi Vampires – in my partner’s family, no less. It’s true, I keep ruminating over and over about what ‘went wrong’ with the exchange – why I feel so bad. And, honestly, sometimes it’s so innocuous, people say ‘what the fuq is wrong with you?? Why did that get to you so much??’ etc. But it’s all going on there, right under the surface. I sometimes feel like I’m just… Read more »

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

I so hear you, re narcissists! Your description of such is spot on, Sagg Girl. Sociopaths/Antisocials share some of the same nuances as narcissists, definitely. One important difference between the two, relevant to this blog post: a narcissist is apt to get jealous and demand adoration and attention; a sociopath, however, delights in screwing with whomever just for the sake of screwing with whomever, and could care less about getting your admiration or attention. In my mind, Narcissistic and Antisocial are just two clinical terms for this creature we call the Qi Vamp. I have physical and mental reactions to… Read more »

Aqua
Aqua

I agree with what you are saying whole heartedly. I still have to deal with one…someone I broke up with 5 years ago and even had restraining orders against, but who still stalks (especially on the net). My theory re:sociopathy is that such Vampires want qualities from you they know they don’t possess (and won’t take the time to develop) so even emotional possession of you feeds that ownership-by-proxy. It is also why they hate you so much at the same time – and after. I don’t see a win:win because even negative attention feeds them…but not in the way… Read more »

WryGrin
WryGrin

Aqua,
From my experience of being in a family with a Narcissist, what you have said about Qi Vampires is completely SPOT ON.

There is no Win Win. Also they hate you while wanting to possess you.

Sagg Girl, I disagree that they only target people they can get a reaction from. From my observations, They usually target people who might get more attention than them due to having qualities they can’t be bothered developing. Like genuine kindness, seeing the best in others, creativity not destructivity…..

saggibee
saggibee

Wow Sagg Girl, how similar are we – I’m Sagg Sun, Cancer Ascendant and Gemini Moon! What you said about Qi Vampires zooming in on certain people really resonated with me. I’d never thought about it like that before. I have had a persistent Qi Vampire in the periphery of my life for the last six years (unfortunately she was best friends with my ex-partner, so it wasn’t easy to escape her entirely), and you know, I think what you’ve described here really applies to this situation. Thanks for the insight!

ToroScorp
ToroScorp

Sagg girl,
yes, there definately seems to be a receptivity thing…others seem to notice..that the vampire is “self-absorbed” or , a bit of a showoff/pain/sleaze etc without it getting to them.
I’ve encountered more than my fair share….I also have Gem ascendant…(taurus sun, scorp moon), wonder if it’s something in the Gem rising!!!

Anonymous
Anonymous

Way to go Sagg girl & Scorp Inc. – makes sense to me put that way; & have had a mighty battle ‘dealing with’ my narcissistic mother. Toroscorp, I have also had alarm bells & physical reactions to people with whom I have this particular ‘receptivity’ to – and been learning to exercise my boundaries and shut them out as much as I need to!!

ToroScorp
ToroScorp

Anon..yes, re boundaries, learning these things can be quite disconcerting when one starts cutting vampires out..a sort of strange alone-ness, but then again, more energy!

WryGrin
WryGrin

*like*

Heaps more energy!! .

Even the hardest goal is easy after the vamps are abolished, because it feels like you don’t have a iron planet tied around your neck weighing you down and no-one is tazing you every five minutes.

All your wonderful energy is for YOU.

Anonymous
Anonymous

so true! great comments wry!

hummingbird
hummingbird

Yes I think some of us are empaths and just seem to draw this stuff in, or be more affected by it – I’m definitely getting better at dealing with it as I get older (maybe some therapy & kinesiology helped with that too) – & have dealt with it a long time with my mother! I just don’t accept her behaviour anymore & I have changed my reactions to her etc – effectively changing how she must act towards me. My eldest daughter (18 – Pisces, scorp rising, libra moon) would just totally brush off any sort of qi… Read more »

hummingbird
hummingbird

Sorry epic comment!

WryGrin
WryGrin

Epic is okay, hummingbird!
=)

mercurial fireside
mercurial fireside

I am getting the vibe of Gem having a strong link in these. I’m Gem sun, Sagg rising, Aries moon, but often get caught out and have to reset boundaries. Slowly learning to recognise the signs early but I agree with it being a receptivity thing.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Every narcissists I meet has boasted, “I am a people person. I really get people, I understand how they tick (and manipulate them to my advantage they will brag about later.)
They usually are extremely exported and adept at charm, manipulation of others. (See American Psycho.)

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

I don’t know. I’m right there with you, except for the whole I’m-ruminating-over-a-negative-exchange-with-X-therefore-X-must-be-a-Qi-Vamp thing. That’s too convenient for the ruminator! Haha

But seriously, ruminating can mean lots of things, and 99% of the time it is more about You than the object of your ruminations. Know what I mean?

So Qi Vamp is jealous of your slickness, and Qi Vamp is ruminating over you– as you’re ruminating over Qi Vamp! Yes to the whole vicious cycle feeding itself, and spawning it’s ugly little parasitic babies all over your Blessed Space. Such a shame.

leolibragal
leolibragal

Agree! Very insightful.

Charley
Charley

Totally true.

PlutonicUranian
PlutonicUranian

So true. Erecting a reflective psychic barrier may only increase the volume of bad-itity. Dialogue always gets you somewhere, either pushes the issue or unravels it all to simpler elements that are easier to resolve. I work it down from qi vampire to rude waiter via mathematical reductions when I can.

Sorry for the squareness but that’s just my Saturn transiting through natal sun & natal ascendant, right into progressed sun & then progressed ascendant!

WryGrin
WryGrin

PlutonicU

Thank you for coining the word “bad-itity”

*like*

Cygnette
Cygnette

I agree 100% Scorporation, Inc, if you’re seeing this stuff you could well be tuned into the wavelength, especially if you see and feel it A LOT. In fact it could be YOU (me!) being the Qi Vampire and getting a fair dose of karma for your own life-sucking ways… Great post by the way MM

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

true. “ugly little parasitic babies.” It’s all perspective. If I have a brief exchange with a mentally- imbalanced person who fumes that I didn’t smile or looked at some-one weird in fact i didn’t, doesn’t make me a energy Vampire unless, I intended to send bad energy at him or her. I’ve been accused of being a snob, or elitist when in fact I am reserved, quiet and shy around people I do not know or never met. I am polite but, reserved. I also have to realize sometimes, the waitresses is having a shitty day and might be PMS-ing… Read more »

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

But, yes I think the energy Vampire is much deeper spiritual exchange going on then rushed, impoliteness.
I was just reading/researching about this topic. I am glad to see a post on it!
Some people really do get under the skin or touch on those nerves!!!
I’ve been avoiding energy vamps and have regained my energy and haven’t been sick in awhile either.

PlutonicUranian
PlutonicUranian

“zero-to-do”! rule of thumb! thanks!

Anonymous
Anonymous

I have the same problem with people thinking I’m a total snob, when in fact I’m just shy, quiet and reserved as well. There have been times where, no matter how much I smiled or how polite and considerate I was, the fact that I didn’t engage in an annoyingly lengthy conversation about the weather or something else superfluous meant that I was a total snob, a stuck-up b****, etc. I’ll admit/own up to the fact that I’m not good at small talk mostly because I do find it to be unnecessary and contrived. Anytime I’m being waited on by… Read more »

Lalais
Lalais

All of this is super interesting and insightful

Betty
Betty

Wow that describes my boss perfectly

Anonymous
Anonymous

yes, me too!

mollybloom
mollybloom

me too, 🙁

mollybloom
mollybloom

omg! my boss said to me that he wants to f*** me. yesterday, at a party with colleagues. the exact words. what do have I do? II suspect he was a bit drank yeah, but he reapeted that for about 5 times. quite explicit. i wonder what kind of attitude I must have with him. he’s a predator and I suspect I would became a perfect love zombie if I accepted this. no way…plus, having an intercourse with the boss is so eighties. no.. can someone tell me what do I have to think, behave, say if he insist again?… Read more »

mollybloom
mollybloom

ahh, and he’s a virgo with plutonic venus in libra. moon in gemini in the 8th, and mars in taurus.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

And btw his astro means jack. There’s no excusing sexual harassment, and it would be rude to even suggest this dickery comes under the jurisdiction of any sign in particular.

YOUR astro matters. Do your Moon, your Saturn, activate Uranus, whatever you need to be supported and strong.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Hey lovely, you are going to have to show your clearest firmest boundaries ever here. You let him get away with this, and you will always suffer this man’s ill. Have you got an HR or any other formal recourse? If you don’t know find out. And right now, document the incident: words, times (or approximations), locations – anything – write it down. As well as anything else previous. Sorry lady you proabably want to wrap into a ball and have a nice hug and sip on some soothing tea, and yes please do all the things you need for… Read more »

mollybloom
mollybloom

thanks Milleunanotte!!!! just what I had to hear, cause I didn’t tell anyone at the moment, and your words made me feel better. I was so confused, u know. I don’t want to tell the thing to anyone in the work place, or it will be total hell. let’s say, I just behave as if it was an “accident” due to the over drinkink and partying last night. let’s say he was just not on totally in hiself. no excuses here, but it’s the simplest way for me to deal with this, plus, I’ll be très set on my boundaries… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

Yes, a former one most definitely.

SourPatch
SourPatch

An assistant manager + a co-worker. 🙁

WryGrin
WryGrin

That last paragraph describes my mum. =(
Course I can laugh about it now. *engages delete button for unwanted recollections*

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