Venus In Transition

Filed in Venus Venusian

Venus is Direct and so are we…Grok the sober relationship insights!  Venus ain’t out of shadowzone till the end of July but today is genius for romantic pragmatism and/or sudden ‘aha’ moments.

And…the Weekly Horoscopes from Sat 30 are now posted.  All about how to do next week’s Mars into Libra/Full Moon in Cap squared by Saturn extravaganza. 

Re the Mars thing:  All of us have had something driven home – like it or not – between last November and now. Figuring out precisely what this lesson/lifestyle change/realization is and getting that it is a perma-change will result in rapid relief of psychic tension. Euphoria even. 

And then we can get on with being Zap Zone Operatives – Qi Vampire/Love Zombie detectors set to high-beam-phaser alert.



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114 thoughts on “Venus In Transition

      • 18 mos since dye job, 9 mos since haircut pour moi :0
        Rocking some neolithic chic up in here.

        • you’re not the only one. I’m going for the ‘unkempt-unemployed-unbelievably sexy’ look, lolololol

          • haha…. I’ve been waiting and waiting for Venus to go direct so I can dye my hair but also wondering if I could start a new balayage trend with my 1 inch salt ‘n pepper regrowth coming through. :)

            • Oh my goodness! I know what you mean! I had 5 inch roots! But I got colored 2 days ago and it was kinda extreme…I didn’t realize we were meant to wait out Venus Retro!!!! Oh noooo! :)

              • I don’t know. I think that sometimes during Venus Retro, actually going ahead with the beauty stuff is good, since you have rethought it and come at it from a different perspective that you will STILL like after venus direct.

                You might be like “How come I only thought of doing it this way now? I love it”.

                Only problem is I don’t know how to distinguish those times from the fuq up venus retro times, astrologically.

                • Yes! Literally spent all of Venus retro thinking of exactly the right thing to do with my hair/look and I’ve got it all figured out and am ready to implement. And have Space-Dust-Loving Leo Hair Man to make it happen!

              • doll, it’s only for drastic beauty makeovers and weird expensive thingo lust. Dye the damn roots it’s only upkeep xx

                p.s Aqua dyed my roots last week and OFFERED to as to save me money saying he is very good at this sort of thing – I let him and it’s really good. amazed

  1. So, how should we be treating our romantic situations until the end of july exactly? I’m a little undecided at present, I’m perfectly happy with waiting to try to I dunno, ‘confirm’ anything but I’m finding myself feeling quite uncomfortable about the notion of completely pushing it all to the the side as if it isn’t there…I would like to make some progress, just not sure what sort of progress to make.

    • I am in the exact same situation. Wasn’t expecting Venus Retrograde to put a halt on my relationship like it did. I have come to the answer of needing to work on myself first (but why can’t I have that AND my relationship with him at the same time!?)
      I am about to make a big move to getting my own apartment (12month commitment) instead of last month’s plan of following him overseas. But maybe it was a hasty decision during Venus Rx that I should now reconsider?

      • Well, ultimately that is something for you to consider. I think for me the Venus Rx was mostly to do with coming to terms with the negative aspects of my past relationships both in how I was treated and how I treated my partners, rather than revisiting a special something/someone who in reality I wasn’t ready for. Looking back there was a lot of heartwork to make my way through to be totally ready for such a thing. I see now how truly personal the Venusian Rx journey is intended to be..

  2. thanks for posting this movie poster – one of my favourite films of all time! I noticed how I have really re-thought my attitude to relationships (and one in particular *zombie-lurve*) since the beginning of April and i feel totes liberated now despite some wobbly moments during the stationing. hope everyone else has emerged newly minted and refreshed?

  3. Saturn direct , tick…. venus direct , tick…. mars into libra , Hoorayyyyy,
    Seriously, I’m relieved. Thing thats been driven home….I truly do not function well under retros, especially mars…they are the worst for this little ram.

  4. I just want mars out of my 8th D:
    As a sun libra I’m looking forward to mars heating things up, although it’ll also be opposing moon + squaring my mars/neptune/jupiter.
    Speaking of driving things home… this mars transit coincided with some pretty tough events that began last october and yes the after effects of that feel like they are JUST fully wearing off. It’s been painful but worth it.
    Basically I identified how certain types of peeps (neptunian men) set off all my negative psychic triggers and I am now able to stay in control and steer clear of those situations (it was my crutch, so bad). This hindsight is 20/20.

  5. I’ve had several shall we say learning curves or would that be kicked to the curbs moments since last November.

    They’ve definitely let me know they were present and demanding to be accounted for. I’ve spent some of the time these months in whimsy, some in disillusion (that could be denial) and some of the clearest clarity though fleeting, wiped away by one of the other two moments after it’s appearance.

    I can’t say the fullness of this shift is being felt and I keep coming back to the series of eclipses that now ended have also brought their messages but if I put them all together the future is looking bright!

    Clarity is one element that’s kicking in as is reality. I find that really interesting because inbetween my grand scheming I’m a realist and I feel like I’m just getting real. Most amused by that one :)

    Qi Vamps.. I’m always aware of them because the sensation is so physically palpable. Amusingly enough so is it in reflection when I become aware, shut down the energy source or chakra and smile at their startled look.

    Love Zombie.. well I hope it’s as simple as more Auhmmmm than Zommmm… otherwise it’s back to the dart board… oops I mean drawing board for me.

    And I’m in to get my hair done next week.. and I really can’t wait. The moon had better be in a nice supportive place Tuesday eve :)

    Thanks Myst x

  6. WOW. How apt is everything happening in MY life right now (and WOW again to daily horoscopes).

    Reached stress-breaking-point yesterday afternoon as male colleagues seemed to be provoked to sheer bloody-mindedness and outright refused to cooperate with me on a collaborative project. I put my foot down and told them I’d be taking today for myself while they got their shite together.

    THEN the (married) Inappropriate Crush Guy (who’s sign I do not know, but I suspect he is a Gemini or at the very least has Gemini rising) who I have carefully avoided since April (on account of NOT enjoying the weirdness I feel when around him or after talking to him – CALLED ME at 8pm to “talk about work” and ended up admitting that at his office they have a nickname for me & regularly burn my effigy (or that kind of thing, you know what I mean). Let’s just say that they couldn’t have picked a more hurtful nickname or one more likely to make me feel ugly and rejected).

    Shame and humiliation complete.

    BUT I have handled it with Libra Moon diplomacy and total withdrawal (Saturn transiting natal moon) which has this guy scrambling to make amends.

    Realisation: I’m no longer willing to be a victim of unkind men.
    Realisation: I am fuquing EXCELLENT at what I do and do not have to do work for idiots who cannot appreciate me because of their own failings.

    Yay Venus direct!


    • That’s nasty TA. No doubt borne of unrequited lust and hotness for you but nevertheless it’s ugly energy that doesn’t really get the juices flowing so to speak.

      Great handling of the situation and great realisation!

      Another recruit who has taken the day!! Yay :)

      Pegs and myself were discussing that earlier sporting uggs .. actually make that two kinds now.. the 2nd courtesy of those effigy burning d!cks! x

    • great handling indeed.. i’d be hoppin mad, prob give myself an aneurism.

    • Go Girl
      Make them shake in their boots with your awesomeness and be completely uneffected by their neg spray. Forcefields up Peeps!

    • OMG TA, what a pack of c**ts!!! mummy-issues, boys??
      the juvenile pack-mentality shit these people can indulge in is mind-blowing, can’t be believed unless seen for itself (or told I guess).

      props to the gem crush thing guy for telling you.

    • Well done to you, sounds like you handled yourself with dignity – tough in difficult situations. Hope you find someone supportive in your work place with better energy than inappropriate crush guy – enjoy your day off!

    • TA sweetie you were NEVER willing – but as women we always come from a position of trying to make things work and well, kindness. Which unfortunately people mistake for stupidity. Wrong move.

      But very glad to see you put your foot down even more. Truth has NO gender. But peeps frightened of it will use any excuse to discount it and you when you align with it.

      Good on you!

      • that reminds me of something.

        the Leo Parisien told me “your kindness is harming you”. I’m like WTF, dude? you’re my guest in my house, you have three days in this city, I am taking you to show you the coolest things this place has to offer and you get to meet some of my frankly fuqing awesome AND cool friends. So, how about you go fuq yourself? Arrogant shit. Clearly misunderstanding my piscean vagueness and indecision (which nevertheless ALWAYS caused us to end up in yet another fabulous place/bar/cafe/whatev) At what point am I supposed to become the self-centred parisienne that he seem to be comparing me to? fuqed if I know. Anyway. I was annoyed that after all that effort, which I would do for ANY friend not just a too-cool French hottie, I get this bullshit feedback.
        So, that’s my 2 cents on the ‘kindness is stupidity’ note – ie FA I agree, sadly.

        • “Never mistake my kindness for weakness” (you’ll get a swift kick up the arse).

        • Oh and lastly, I suspect he said that as he’s thinking he couldn’t be as hospitable and wants to avoid expectations of returning the favor? Yes, even when you didn’t ask.

          This is the plague the giving soul is burdened with. Fear of reciprocation from those who clearly aren’t as and who’ve probably become too self-conscious as they’re secretly comparing themselves.

        • Pearls before swine, Pi.

          God, many people respond to appropriately to warm, erudite, civilised friends like you.

          LeoParisienne sounds like an obtuse tosser.

      • First of all, that WAS pretty arrogantus. I’m not actually even sure why he’d come up with that.. did he mean inconveniencing you??

        But you know, lately I’ve noticed that some friends seem to think it’s their duty to “Call the Behavior”, i.e. You’re This, That or Some Other Unsolicited Opinion/Comment on How they Think I Should Be/Am/Should Love.

        Here’s my thought on that. As a friend I am perfectly lucid and crystal clear sharp on each of my besties wonderful traits and foibles. However, it is not my remit to be Hall Monitor of what they think, say or do. I would like to think that the space of friendship and love allows us to Be in the Relationship and by virtue of that, give our loved ones the benefit of not just our understanding but our example.

        I find it utterly condescending when unless asked and within context, people find it necessary to make statements that either label you, pronounce your behavior or box you in – all of which have the effect of being oppositional and argumentative. As someone who loves my friends I know precisely the ills/weaknesses they harbor in their character – much more perhaps than they’re comfortable with, but I believe that the work of friendship is acceptance, allowance and guidance.

        If I don’t agree with the behavior, I don’t participate in it. THEN that usually prompts the question of why, but I’m VERY clear that my opinions pertain to what I believe is right for myself. Not what I think they should/shouldn’t be doing. Again, unless asked. For the most part, people are smart, they already know that – and all of this is a dance of provocation, approval and truth seeking.

        I do find it hurtful when I encounter these statements as there is this presumption on the person’s part that they know you so well as “XYZ” that they have actually challenged your possibility to be anything else. How would they know really? And is their opinion what matters?

        We are all of us trying in some fashion or another, to hone our sharper edges, contain our less loving ego drives and work through our motivations – at least this is the platform I prefer to work with. I know that isn’t always the case at which point, being a friend is about accepting that your loved one can’t accept certain parts of themselves! THAT is the work of kindness and trust itself, as it is FAR harder to let them come to this on their own with sensitive support than being accusatory about it.

        But my point (sorry as this is a nerve too) is that we need to question why they needed to do that in the first place? Is everything else they’re doing/being as a friend supportive of helping you, or is this just a way of triangulating reflection off their own issues into yours? If it’s the latter then that’s a bit o’ Qi Vampirism and it’s best to set limits on exposure.

        • Thanks, FA, I do appreciate you weighing in there although I didn’t mean to turn TA’s comment into something about me!!

          Yes, I don’t know what made him mention that as such. I mean, it was in the context of a whole conversation. I am always curious to see how other people see me, and I’m the first person to attempt a spot of self-improvement in some way, but when it is an unsolicited opinion that may be construed as criticism, …. you know??

          He simply might have seen me as a bit soft. A (un-)confidence vibe, possibly, although if that was the case, his judgement may have been a little out.
          I think also sensitive to his comment (there was other stuff but haven’t added here) as it’s come up in the past in various forms from certain others, and I simply don’t know where to start to action the ‘advice’. Or even whether I should bother.

          you might have a good point when you mention it seems to throw their own behaviour into sharp relief, and it annoys them. I’m pretty sure I have been in that position too, and i have to bite my tongue and take a good hard look in the mirror before I try to ‘correct’ someone..

          If I see a friend who genuinely seems to trip themselves over through some repeated behaviour, I would like to try and find a way to tell them how I see them in the world as it’s so easy to be blind to our own worst (and best) traits.

          • Well, I’m a fan of the well-crafted and timely put question. If a friend seems to be in the way of self-harm, I tend to pose a question that they can choose to answer or not to. In fact, giving ME an answer isn’t even the point really.

            But giving them a chance to think about it from the perch of a perspective other than the one they’ve been in, really is. We need only open the door right?

            This way, they can ponder at will in their own time and space, and if they need me, then of course, I’m there. The other way to look at it is I don’t necessarily want to deprive them of the experience of learning THEIR way, rather than mine. Sacrificing the camaraderie and peace of the friendship for what? I don’t need to be right. If I am, I know I am and I don’t need to argue it. And if I’m not, well one of us is learning something!

            Like you I’m curious about how my others see me, but I take into account the subjectivity of each person – there are only a few people who can see thru that type of question anyway and be able to deliver both the truth and kindness.

        • Fuq… That was a ‘Work of Art’ FA!
          BRAVO!!!… Can I copy, paste & quote you on ALL of the above.

          SO succinct, SO incisive, SO what I’m in the middle of dealing with rather resentfully as we speak…. A ‘so called self appointed friend’ who is actually a Love Zombie Qi Vampire Ghost of relationship past (20yrs past) who has taken it upon himself to power-stalk me out of nowhere with narcissistic demands on my already limited time & energy, via tantrummy facebook messages demanding to know why I’m ignoring him (massive projection to which I reply “I’m not ‘ignoring you’, I’m ‘focussing solely on me’ & phoenixing my own re-invention”) & then he feels compelled to share HIS OPINION of me:
          “Well in my opinion u need to get more efficient and keep in touch with friends u want to keep. Even a crumb occasionally, whatever I always want you to RECIEVE the best. No excuses for RUDENESS.”

          Geez, WTF???!!!
          Such a cracker of a Venus Rx/stationary Direct/Direct situation…
          Especially considering I haven’t seen this guy in like 17yrs.

          Really freaks me out, as to where he & all those like him, get off thinking they actually have some kinda control over me, my life, energy, time & priorities…

          Delusional control freaks!

          My response:
          “Theres nothing to take personally, I’m simply ‘Closed for Renovation’.

          Thus, in summary, ALL this Rx action has helped me to clarify that Libran euphemism is OUT… & what I really feel to communicate to all of them is ‘FUQ OFF’, or alternatively the more eloquent version, FA’s ‘rad candor’ above.

          • Haha..thank you Stars, and gosh I’m just trying to find my own way in this. It does happen though that as we get older we’re more acute about what and who is relevant to us.

            Tantrums and blame never really work, and that’s more than a bit co-dependent you know?

            I do go through times where I need to withdraw but my friends know that when the need is dire, I’m definitely there..just not for a daily 1 hour conversation about last week’s True Blood episode, or the thousandth rehash of the same issue..

            If I’m really pressed for time and I see someone agitated, I try to be pointed and just say, listen I know you feel I’ve been quiet and I’ve told you why, but what do you need from me now – how can I try to help you?

            Usually just hearing that reassurance is enough and when it isn’t, it’s at least made it apparent where each of us are. But sometimes yes, people pathologize the space and it all ends in terrible accusations, sigh..

        • agreed. Friends acting as therapists with Unsolicited advice or trying to control behaviour is never a good thing. Unless, there’s an intervention for drug abuse or something pretty darn serious.
          But, grammar nazis, and annoying jabs, undercutting and rude comments to control friends is just that annoying. 😉

        • FA – thanks so much for this comment as I am totally getting into Saint Virgo “Call the Behavior” mode and its not where I want to be. Mars on my AC, getting ready to conjunct my Mars at 0 Libra which is also conjunct my natal Pluto-Merury. Oy. Remembering my 12th house lessons! Biting tongue. Live and let live is how I want to be treated and I don’t need to “call” anything to not tolerate bs. Anyway, off topic, perhaps, but this comment is just the reminder I needed right now.

          • I mean honestly this is so beautiful “being a friend is about accepting that your loved one can’t accept certain parts of themselves! THAT is the work of kindness and trust itself, as it is FAR harder to let them come to this on their own with sensitive support than being accusatory about it.”

            I KNOW you are right, but – still – I want to strangle people I love for not being accepting their entire wonderful self as-is. It is a ridiculous stance for me to take – as I am not my best, accepting of my best, but Virgoishly always aiming for that distant star. Kindness…acceptance…tolerance…modesty…you’re sounding just what the iching has been telling me but making so much more direct sense. Thank you.

    • dude, this sounds SO horrible. no job is worth the humiliation , what a bunch of arseholes that do not deserve the carpet you stand on day to day whilst babysitting their bullshit. I left one nightmare boss and whilst I have not replaced the income it gave me as yet I am free of thinking about it and that is something x

    • Nicely handled, Taurean Alchemist.

      Although, it was probably the adult version of the boy pulling the pigtails of the girl he admires.

      She thinks he’s being a beast to make her cry and he just has no useful vocabulary to express liking her so does something repugnant.

    • If you sketched that little bird, you’re a good artist too.

      I’m finding these times for female empowerment to be excellent. No one is your enemy now but for yourself in how you handle the world around you.

      Those jokers are players in your self-realization quest.

      • Hi Lucy, yes the little bird is one of my strange drawings :)

        It is quite amazing how empowered I feel in this situation – for one thing I have the power to create a shitstorm of drama for this guy (which I’m not going to do). Secondly, as Wry Grin says, the guy is attracted to me so I could easily have him (which I’m also not going to do).

        Lastly, I feel so completely in control of my emotions for the first time in my life. Yay me! :)

    • workplaces can be diabolical places – when they go pear-shaped it is important to focus on yourself, getting your work done in a professional manner and following protocols if people are sabotaging you: having projects gets you through the day. imo a married work man calling you in the evening is not acceptable (maybe i’ve lived rurally too long!). if he likes and respects you and your work than he should be doing coffee during business hours and acknowledge you in spite of others. don’t get caught up in work place bitcherell.

    • so true, pure satisfaction in telling em (verbally or psychically) to stick it up his ass.

    • I second the Jicky. Professionalism really does speak for itself as in the end it’s louder than the dross and clients/people remember who gets shite done and who isn’t going to be a toxic-making factor.

      AND people NEVER forget how they feel around you.

      I think the call after work was a very unsubtle ploy to get you into his confidence by confessing of all things – a name?? Like WTF?? Hardly necessary to share you know?

      @least Mighty Spells are being broken post this Venus in retro..

  7. I suggest you get out of that workplace now. This is bullying. Do not put up with this behaviour.

    • I couldn’t agree more. It is always best to leave an abusive work place because it will generally only get worse. Once you leave you will feel better. And you will find another job.

    • I’m a consultant so I choose who I work for and when. This is a collaborative project with many stakeholders so I don’t have to just deal with this group of badly behaved boys. I’ll finish the project because I’m FAB at what I do, but NEVER work with them again. :)

      • Bullies use labels when they’re feeling threatened. It’s a horrid pack way of writing you off so they can cope with their inadequacies. Ignore them – you don’t have anything to prove.

      • I’ll bet you are too fab for the incompetent and jealous to handle. Sorry the Gem was a fw but glad you know it. Best wishes for maintaining your dignity and top level professsionalism xx

  8. Umm… So I was doing really well with focusing on my work career professional destiny life overhaul thing– and I still am– but, uh, I’m getting a little distracted by a certain someone… Not pulled off course distracted, but you know: just a little something *extra* lovely on my mind…

    So yes to the whole relationship Venusian Voodoo kabuki dance. Natal Pluto-Moon in the 7th/Libra; Saturn transiting there for a touch longer, Mars about to make his entrance.

    Stoked for the Scorp moon coming up! I’m so in the zone– and loving it.

    • yeah. you know being a love zombie is good for a few days to get a hit of oxytocin to the brain but it’s a pain because you aren’t seeing right and you lose your power. but to stay focused on work/goals and have something lovely on the mind and eye is a great place to be – keeps you feeling positive, having fantasies, anticipating, looking good etc. just have to be self-aware if one is crossing over to zombie-land. ah, it’s been great clarifying all this stuff the last week or so.

      • Yeah, it’s been many, many years since I could’ve been mistaken for anything remotely resembling a love zombie. Probably since becoming a mother, I’d say.

        My priorities do not support zombiedom. In fact, my priorities are zombie antidotes.

        I feel for the women still in these loops. They can get off the ride anytime they’d like, though. Naturally.

        • Meanwhile, I’m just self-actualizing: everything else Wonderful and Fulfilling simply follows 😉

  9. Well thank fuq for that,now to see where the shite has landed and how I feel about it all, because I have no idea how I will react now and what I will feel. I am however, pumped and ready to test what I have learned and earned.
    peace xxxxx

      • been doing that too, last couple days, I put it down to cold snap and hormone cycle.

        • Ditto!! Am now starting to feel a bit crap from the all my carb loading these past couple of days…must get to gym tomorrow!

      • Same as well. Been like this since Venus went Retro. Toro asc and just had Jupiter on my there …Arrgghh feel horrible and ugly. frump…

  10. Saturn, venus going forward and Mars’ entry into libra marks the beginning of a new life for me. I have finished school and have now complete freedom to make my own life. I am hoping now I will know what will make me feel the most fulfilled as well as ignite passion because I haven’t really felt that way in awhile. I am not depressed by any means, but just not as interested in the worldly pursuits and interests that used to consume me. Yet at the same time I am dreaming of doing ten things at once. It’s a feeling that’s very hard to convey.

    I am a libra sun in the second house with an unaspected libra saturn in the first house. All the weight is falling from my shoulders and feel very light these days in the best sense of the word.

  11. Okasies, I’ve worked out the Venus thing ! Its my garden !! Just got a book on water features and went outside to plan the rill. Before I know it I’m pacing out the brickwork for the pergola and ripping up kikuyu..

    Am in two minds as to whether or not to get an 8 foot limestone wall and grow wisteria and bouganvillea all over it; OR put in a hedge of bottlebrushes, alternating red and hot pink, and then get that white rambling rose with the wicked thorns to grow up through it…. The rose and the bottlebushes flower at the same time, so its gorgeous and the wicked thorns keep cats out of the trees so the birds can nest/feed in peace. That would be much cheaper too, but I’d really like a French-style courtyard as well… Might have to put that out the back instead….

    So there we go; Venus sets off my gardening instincts ….

  12. Venus Direct couldn’t have been at a better time. The guy I’ve been seeing, the one I met in April, and I had a rather awful argument on Friday night. Things had been messy between us since Venus went Retrograde, and after Friday, ugh.

    I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him at all until today. He’d contacted me twice in the meantime. Things were actually okay. There wasn’t any anger, and I just felt really happy being on the phone with him for that short amount today.

    There had been a lot of passive aggressiveness between both of us in the past month. I have Merc+Lilith and he has Mars+Jupiter in Cancer. Go figure, haha. Usually I’m sad when Merc leaves Cancer, but this time I’m grateful for the Leo presence.

  13. Holy Crap-Balls Batman!
    I’m being threatened with a law suite for exercising my constitutional right to make fair comment on a matter of public interest!!!
    Qi- Vamps and fuq-wittery abounds under these influences or “Whaaaa?”
    Big babies. Whatever.
    Evolve or Evaporate!

  14. I wonder whether the following qualifies as “sudden insight”:

    I woke up from a dream, more of a nightmare really. I’m in this unhealthy and morally reproachable love triangle situation (in reality!), with a man who’s very kind and creative whom I care about a lot (my bf), and a man who’s genius but a bit cold and unrealiable (kind of a lover, I suppose, though I don’t really see the love in this, despite many late night calls in which we discuss weird things).

    In my dream it played out differently: It was my bf who was with me and another girl. We were on a different planet or so (usually I’m not into sci fi). We had to pass some sort of test by the locals, and we had to swim a few lengths in a pool. But the swimming was accompanied by some tasks: First, we had to say which dish we would cook and make this convincing. Then we had to swim two or more lenghts, but there was a strange creature sometimes appearing in the water, similar to a naked human but not human: It was bold with a strange, mean face and way too long arms. It would reach out for you and would sometimes try drown you as you were entering the pool, so one had to be careful of that, too. But the entrance to the pool was not a steep wall, more like a slide (as in a cycling track).

    So I make up a dish (lemon soufflé, don’t ask me about the symbolism of this) and I tell my bf and the blonde girl (whom we seem to have found along the way). The girl goes first. She’s a bit weak and triggers protective behaviour. Somehow my bf decides to enter the water with her; he’s a good swimmer and I think the test was for us women only. But before they go in, she must name a dish, and she says “lemon soufflé”! I look at him angrily, he looks back apologetically and they go in. The menacing creature approaches her, but my bf helps her walk up again. Then they go in, they swim, he kind of coaches her, out they come.

    Then it’s my turn. I have to make up another dish quickly, which is luckily accepted by whomever is judging us. I walk or slide down to the pool. My bf stands above me at the rink, he know I’m furious. I’m looking up at him instead of at the pool. I know he’s confused about his behaviour as well. I’m just sad, depressed and powerless, a huge void spreading out within me. He cries “watch out!”. I turn around and the naked creature is swimming towards me, very close already. I debate whether I should try to climb up the slippery and steep edge of the pool. But I’m kind of too weak emotionally. I’m not really trying.

    This is when I woke up. Angry, confused, disappointed. Why don’t I know what I want? Why do I do this to the people involved? Am I all these characters in my dream?

    Please help.

    • hmn. i guess it is difficult satisfying all our needs – love, comfort, companionship, intellectual stimulation, independence, fun, naughtiness. is the bf not intellectual or fun enough for you? are you really trying to decide between the two as it sounds like your lover is not supportive or reliable enough to have a relationship with. i guess the best thing is to sort out whether you want a committed comfortable relationship with the bf or friends with benefits with the lover. having both (presuming the bf is unaware) is tres messy – no wonder you are having anxiety-laden dreams. time to shut out the spy in the house of love?

      • You got it right away, jicky! My bf is a wonderful person but I miss intellectual debates (he’s more of an artist but also a bit of a manager while I work at university) and sometimes a sense of… excitement. I guess he’s not aware of the other guy. And yes, the “lover” (who does not love me, I don’t get what kind of affection he feels for me) is unreliable and looking for a more “unconventional relationship”. But he’s figured his life out and he’s intellectually stimulating, which I find very appealing. The bf (Virgo) is struggling with his work-life-balance. So am I.

        Anxiety has taken over a great part of my life. (Btw, I started some kind of therapy a few weeks ago, so please don’t but me in the “you don’t need astrology” category too lightheartedly.) I guess I should just let the “lover” be. I TRY to. But he keeps coming back. But not enough for me to be able to make up my mind in his favour.

    • Scorpy, sorry to hear you had a shitty dream…here are some thoughts, take em however you see fit.

      Maybe the other girl (vulnerable, weaker) is another aspect of you? How does your BF relate to you, your states of mind / emotion?

      Alternatively, Is it possible that your BF is involved with someone else too? Or a variation of that e.g. emotionally involved with, attracted to etc?

      Water = emotion;
      The pool event is an emotional test. Isolating yourself via / as a result of feeling ‘sad, depressed and powerless’… could lead to strife. One of you ‘dies’ (presumably, and metaphorically only, of course)

      That creature… can you go and meditate on that a bit? just lie on the couch with your eyes closed and see if you can isolate the feelings around it. I think of the ‘unknown’, unhuman, fearsome, dangerous / life-threatening (what’s your pluto doing?).

      i’m not sure about the food. Sustenance, ‘the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’, pressure to perform or create yet your choice was usurped by Other Girl / Other You, …? Maybe you were watching Master Chef before bed 😉 ?

      good luck… hope the storm clouds clear… xx

      • this was Pi.

        I keep coming back to The Other You, and expressing or showing vulnerability. Does that resonate somehow?

        • Hi Pi, thanks for your lucid analysis! I, too, thought about whether both girls were different parts of “me”. Or possibly even all “characters”. (Is it ok to consider dreams a kind of autobiographical fiction?)

          Hihi, I had to laugh about your Master Chef comment. No, I was not watching it, but funnily both dishes on my mind were desserts, lemon soufflé and cherry crumble. I should have taken that as a hint, I have such a sweet tooth.

          The inhuman creature… now that I think of it, it had a faint resemblance with my “lover”. I was scared by that creature but also, in a way, relieved in a “it’s soon over, no more pain awaits me” way. I don’t know to read my chart very well, according to astrodienst my Pluto is in Libra (11th house).

      • Sorry, one last thought (how on does anyone just manage to write only one comment?!)

        Going into the feelings is fearful. It’s a pool, so the feelings are contained (e.g. it could easily have been an ocean, or a river, lake etc). Perhaps you’re worried that if you get in, your existence in one form or another is threatened, by something you can’t identify but is ‘out to get you’.

        [Could you do a creative visualisation, go back into this dreamspace and see what would detroy / tame / pacify / help you name the creature].

        ok have a headache, gotta stop staring at this screen..

      • Sorry… more STILL.

        Again, grain of salt, only you know your own mind ok?

        With the ramp-thing into the pool, getting into the feelings / emotions / situation (again) – it’s either easy, or gentle, e.g. it’s not like you must jump off a cliff or swim through an underwater cave etc – or, it’s a slippery slope, once you start going down then you can’t climb back up. which one of those it was was not so clear, but you cld suss that out.

        Also, it seemed that your BF was willing to help the person showing greater vulnerability / need(?) through the test – avoiding the monster, and so on.

        I think see what the next few nights dreaming brings. OK NOW I am off.. x

        • Very grateful for you comments, all of them!

          Getting into the water-emotions was easy for the girl with assistance from my bf and walking down was easy for (the other) me, too. It would not have been impossible to walk up again. I just couldn’t muster the energy to do it. I knew I was close to the water and the creature and that I would drown – or rather: be drowned – soon.

          I feel very bad about mistreating the people in my life. Actually, I have a lot of trust in my bf. I have tried to turn the affair with the genius guy into friendship (but he doesn’t want to or claims “it couldn’t be done”, saying he desires me too much for that).

          • sounds awfully tricky, D scorp. I understand the need for intellectual stimulation as well as the other stuff. Freakishly sexy genius types do it for me too. But he sounds a bit…I don’t know. Are you happy? What does your heart really want or need? And be careful of the zappage. good luck xx

            • My heart says: “The genius guy will bring – more – heartbreak through a certain cruelty, will stilmulate you intellectually but also undermine your self-esteem. He’ll pout like a child for a short while if there’s something he can’t have. – The bf cares deeply about your wellbeing and will try to support your decisions as much as he can. He’ll stimulate you artistically and socially. Treat him with the respect he deserves.”

              Oh, that was quite clear!

    • Hmm.. right so here’s my take on it.

      The Dish: This is a statement of how you want to identify yourself to be acceptable to the judges/people. It is the “This is Who I am” bit you’re announcing, not necessarily who you are. So you pick the somewhat innocuous lemon souffle but are chagrined when it’s taken as picking another dish may force you to reveal more of yourself, or at least go thru the inconvenience of picking another acceptable version.

      The Pool: These are emotions but also the mystery of your life swirling around you, it’s contained in that shape but once you’re in it, it’s rather difficult for you to know more beyond understanding the required laps and somehow there’s a looming threat. The pool is also your secret life.

      The Girl: Is the vulnerable, weaker, “watered down” version of yourself. It’s the Persona you think will inspire your BF into being a savior as obviously he does just that with her. But you’re angry because you’re really not as weak as all that even if you feel weak currently, and having to be so possibly makes you feel like you’re being asked to be less in order to be fully loved and supported. So the lingering emotion is, WHY can she be helped and not I? Because clearly she’s falling apart? When perhaps you’re thinking I am too, but he just can’t see it i.e. do I have to act that way so he can??

      The Sub-Human Pool Monster: Hun, I can’t help but say this is the Lover. Because he’s unpredictable, exciting, unknown. He thrills you and scares you at the same time, there’s magnetism (the long arms) and the fact that he lives in the Pool (your secret world). He is in fact a shadow figure in your relationship with the BF as he is the third, unseen force.

      You Looking up at the Boyfriend instead of the Pool: Well – you DO want him to do something to save you and stop you from going on with this. You’re furious because he isn’t and him standing over and shouting Watch Out still leaves you with the feeling that YOU must save yourself. Something you already know as the pool holds all the answers for you. The void spreading out is the distance you know is there between you but which the BF can’t seem to sense and see, aside from the obvious. So you’re wondering maybe I should be with the Lover because there are all these parts of me he can’t see?

      This is just a stab in the dark of course. However, I will say that just because someone seems to have their life figured out i.e. the Lover does not mean they’re not doing the most selfish thing by expecting you to fall conveniently into whatever little space they offer you. I totes get the need for intellectual exchange and that connection, I really do. But it’s ironic that what appears to be the more adventurous aspect the Lover offers can actually be far more predictable than trying to have a go in a relationship where you’re both struggling with life/work balance.

      That is really challenging, and not to be discounted. I hope you can see that part of the Lover’s draw is the escape element he provides with his own stability. Of course, he may really have feelings for you and who knows what may happen – but I think the dream is asking you to be aware of this internal life, the gaps it’s creating and letting you feel all the emotions that are otherwise unpleasant to deal with.

      • Lovely FA, lemon soufflé is something I’ve never had (and I doubt I’d be thrilled to have it). Too light and fairy-like for a Double Scorp like me. 😉

        I think my bf is driven by a spectacular sense of duty – so am I, but (very rarely) I sneak out through the back door. Maybe I fear that my bf’s patience with me is running out (I’m having career choice troubles at the moment as well). He’s very supportive but I think he’d like me to get a stable position somewhere close, so we can start a family in a while (he’s a few years older than me). It might be time to show some commitment – but I’m a runner when problems arise. So your analysis that I might see the “lover” (friend with benefits is more aptly suited) as a way out is certainly true! Of course making a commitment and thus making everyday life work is far more demanding than a never-there FwB. But who do I run to when I feel lonely? Who’s here for me when I need him? Not FwB (who’s busy travelling the world and extending his network; I think there must be more women in his pool than just me, but I don’t know for sure).

        I’ve tried to “break up” with the FwB. But I’m a bit of a coward for not trying again. I know things can’t go on like this and I don’t want them to. But I fear love deprivation…

      • Love deprivation from the FWB? Bit of an oxymoron that no?

        Hmm. Well, I applaud your honesty for recognizing your tendency to run when problems come up, but perhaps this is the real creature of the sea? Lovers may leave darkling but we are always, always left with who we are and who we decide to be.

        It seems you have both ends of the spectrum there – commitment and non-commitment. An FWB after all is the height of casual, and may I just add as someone with experience with that, it never lasts? Because it’s our nature to connect and unless both parties do so mutually, it won’t evolve further. I wouldn’t even worry about FWB having others as the nature of the arrangement is that it is tacit that there can be.

        A commitment isn’t something you can take lightly, but maybe the real conversation to have with your BF is to refocus things so you’re not straight jumping into having a family, maybe the “set program” is what’s daunting you and you need to let him know you need some time.

        So I’d like to say, this is a time for introspection sans either men in the equation. If you can’t give up FWB Man at least take a break and get some mental/emo space for yourself. Flogging yourself for being a coward or hurting the people you love is just a distraction from the real question, who are you and what do you need?

        Maybe it’s not what you thought you did? Leave the judgments at the door, and go with the grit of facing yourself As Is. Part of that is realizing the right questions, maybe it’s not who do I go to when I’m lonely, but more can I be alone with myself?

        It’s very true that our Others are our mirrors, but we still need to love the self reflected on there. Don’t buy into the loop this little triangle is confounding you with, the answer is within and you should trust that whomever you’ll find there will be ok. Maybe she’s not who you expected but you wouldn’t be in this situation if you weren’t practicing some form of self-rejection, you know?

        • Maybe self-rejection is the problem, and all my relationships are just an expression of different grades of it. But besides addressing it in therapy I have no clue what it means for “real, everyday life”. I may acknowledge it as a fact that needs changing. But I try to function as well (and often I repress the feeling of dislike for myself, otherwise I couldn’t work or live). But I notice now that I am applying for different jobs that I rarely believe in myself, although my credentials are truly good.

          It would be best if it were possible to take time off from being oneself, wouldn’t it? Maybe that’s why I work in literary studies, so I can make up things along the way, depending on daily form/needs etc. 😉

          No, seriously. What to do about deep internal insecurity that doesn’t cause major break and make demanding impending career changes impossible?

        • What to do? Baby you’re already doing it. I mean, obviously this situation is acting like a pressure cooker and at some point something’s going to give. And let me be clear, I speak from experience having dealt with myself in a triangle.

          Maybe you need to let go of the idea of what real and everyday should look like and just embrace the mess of not quite being sure exactly who you are at this point? Whether you realize it or not, you’re already trying to figure it out as this situation plays out for you. We all feel “not enough” in some way, shape or form, most people just don’t let on – but you have to find the point where you can give yourself a little love JUST for trying and showing up each day.

          Another person can’t make up for that dearth you feel. You can change the players but what you really want to change is the game. And that can only happen if you can find the courage to accept yourself and whatever emptiness is there as being ok. It IS, you know and knowing is a great place to start changing your mind about you.

  15. PS: Love Zombie really is the right expression for Zombie nightmare… Maybe the dream’s impression is so powerful because I rarely remember what I dreamt of.

  16. Am out of the door in a moment but a quick question about awol types. Can I count on them continuing to be awol? My Venus transit lesson is my life is better when they are not in it. Or should I keep in mind the possibility that they may pop back like jack in a box?

    No net coonection for the next 36 hours but thanks for any insights.

  17. Stand strong Zaiborg. I’m all in favour of exercising constitutional rights!

    Is it something that’s been discussed elsewhere on the site, or can I ask about it?

  18. Hellz yeah – just received a birthday card from sig. other “love you very much. we will work this out”

    Well he’s buying me a very expensive pair of boots. Sigh.

  19. i have a capricorn in close proximity being weird… but then Im hormonal and find everyone weird right now… mercury in leo, finding communication blowing me away…. more weird than it has been in a while… fortunately sort of sitting back observing trying not to react and kinda having a giggle at the most outragous of it ….or trying to…. but im probably being weird too….

    • Oh trust me PG, I think it’s the Caps. I have a bazillion of them around me and they’re all going nuts at the mo. Not handling Pluto / Zap Zone all that well. As none of my Caps ‘believe in’ astrology they are not interested in my helpful pointers to ‘evolve or evaporate’ , lol

      • yes… exactly… they can be so muddy about things like astro…

        thanks for the thumbs up on the weird goats…

  20. The image on the weeklies took me right back into my child’s body. Not MY child, but me as a child. Lovely, and confronting.

  21. My Husband wants to send you a bottle of Dom Mystic. Thanks to your advice on how to do Venus Retro we cruised through quite nicely. I told him last night that I’d bitten my tongue over the past month every time I wanted to nag him as to whether he really, really does loves me or if he secretly has a secretary he’s banging. Yeah, really! I know, soooo uncool! Could you imagine bringing that up during Venus Retro? Suffice to say, we’re both glad I didn’t and he wants a Mega Mystic subscription for an Annivarsary pressie :) Venus Direct feels like a fresh breeze. Bring on late July! :)

  22. meh…why is it venus direct is making me weirder and naggier than ever? being a double libra with venus in the first…you’d *think* direct venus would be great!

    during retro i was thinking a lot about how i was with old partners…trying to help them, change them, expecting them to “fix” me in return, instead of just looking at them as real people and “only human”. i’m not doing any of that with current dude. he’s fine the way he is, with the usual human failings that we’re both guilty of. i’m not obsessed with him or anything crappy!
    then venus goes direct and i’m finding myself on the verge of dumping my bf over any little thing, just to be “careful” or avoid a crappy situation. and by little things i mean he slept through his alarm and i had to wake him up for work, and a couple times he did a bad job on the dishes…

    can someone please tell me i’m mental? because this guy is wonderful, an amazing person and i adore him…i’ve never had someone who was so much my “partner”, so patient and understanding, and just cool.

    but when i had to wake him up for work i was like, “no…he’s gonna be one of those needs-a-mommy-types! ” i’ve been known to be a bit nazi at times (mars in cap) and a hater of all things irresponsible. the fear of an irresponsible partner is overwhelming. readers…stop this overcritical child of divorce from ruining a great thing! must…not…dump…angel boy…!

    • The odd batch of badly washed dishes and occasional oversleeping is easy to remedy. Turning a jerk-face into an angel-boy is an impossibly, Sisyphean task, on the other hand. If it were me in this situation, I would remind myself of the wonderful things about the relationship, and find a way to calm the urge to bite, and to regain perspective, if irritated. When you are calmer, formulate a way to voice your fears / concerns / preferences re what’s bothering you, why, and what would be an ideal outcome for you (both). Be chilled, an adult, say it with love and consideration for what he might like too. etc. If he really is angel-boy, you’ll both come to a good agreement I think. have fun x

  23. OK – so I know Venus isn’t covering new ground until late July, but I today I had an “ah ha!” when looking over how I’ve developed from November 2011. Novemember was my last communication with a long term soul connection – man with Sag Sun/Cap Moon. And it was the last communication energetically as well. Just done. Thank God. And then, Scorp Sun/Aqua Moon man came on my channel. He threw out some “this is just the beginning” stuff in an email in early April and disappeared. Venus retro got me recognizing my Love Zombie tendencies (Venus sq Neptune natally) and I accepted the if the relationship isn’t happening – it isn’t happening. Solid. No more energy exchange. Done. Then, I get an email from him saying he misses our interactions. At first I thought – odd choice of words. But – being he and I had discussed our connection before – it took me a day or so to realize he was saying he missed the energy connection. My realization? Ick. Ick. Ick. If I want to connect to a person who isn’t in my life, I can hang out with Paul Newman. Seriously, the guy is loads of fun. I want someone in my life, not someone in my head. I get that Scorp man is the dark brooding type, but really? Ick. Ick. Ick.

    • I LOVE Paul Newman! He’s the whole package, you know? Let’s get together sometime, the three of us!

  24. Just wondering if you got to know someone romantically during the Venus retrograde does it mean you need to be careful about the details of that relationship? Is it doomed to fail?