To Chase Or Not To Chase A Crab Guy?

Filed in Astro-Query

Ray Caesar

“Hi Mystic,

Okay, so first off, I promised myself I wouldn’t write to you, as I know you have an insane workload and are harassed by crazies more than someone working in a mental hospital, but it’s either you or my love interest, so I’m sorry, I picked you.

I guess I’m just looking for some astro-reassurance… I used to email you about a particular Aqua Man. Now I have my first ever Cancer (I’m Cancer too). I met him at the end of April, and for the last 6 weeks, it has been nothing short of amazing. He’s been keen, constantly contacting, talking about the future (but not in a creepy way) and openly adoring. I’ve fallen hard. Now, I might be jumping the gun a bit, but as of late last week, he’s been a bit distant. Only texting in response to one I sent him, and a very late reply at that (he did apologise though). We were previously in contact 5-6 days out of 7; now I’ve had 2 messages since Thursday. My phone is taunting me with its lack of action. It’s becoming hard to imagine him ever contacting me again.

As an avid reader of all you write, I am aware of the Venus Retro situation, and that I shouldn’t chase, but as I work from home, in a new city where I know only a few people (all of whom work looooong hours), I seem to have a lot of time to get anxious and freak out about this situation and ponder doing crazy things. My last beau (Aqua Man) disappeared without a trace, and I’m TERRIFIED of this happening again. My question is, do Cancer men do this kind of shit? He’s not a commitment phobe; he’s had a few long term relationships and things have moved very quickly between us. Is there a particular Crab Friendly approach I should be taking?

I hope Venus Retro is being kinder to you, wonderful Mystic.

Blessings, The Anxious Crab

PS: I should probably add that my Crab is an Ultra Crab: Sun, Mars, Venus and Mercury all in Cancer! “

My Dear Anxious Crab,

No i am not harassed by crazies more than someone working in a mental hospital lol although i DO get a lot of emails. Generally, you need to either get a consult, glean what you need from the always informative Horoscopes and Oracle OR – if it is as of general interest as your query, have it answered on the blog, albeit flippantly. But then you also get the advantage of the AMAZINGLY sophisticated and know-all site-viewers weighing in.

And really, you seem to be across all this. You meet when Venus was beginning her journey through Gemini and now lo and behold – he is a.w.o.l. with Venus Retro. I mean, you can’t count him in or out till the Venusian Voodoo completes at the end of July.  Crab Guys often LOVE their women on a pedestal though. THINK: Did you say something that sounded too, you know, Humanity?

More: Don’t be terrified. That’s too over the top. All this is actually supposed to be a leisure activity, right? Love, dating, romance, sex, whatever? In fact, i don’t even think he’s doing anything you could describe as “shit”…”Since April” is but a nano-blip of time. He might be busy, he might have thought ‘whoops time to pull back from all this constant contacting/discussing the future with someone i just met’ thing…

He might have someone else and now SHE’s back. And he’s doing multiple Pluto transits. I suggest you do whatever you can to detach from this scenario – if it works out, it works out – emulate your long hours working friends, find some other stuff you like to do apart from obsessing over this Crab Guy and just see how it pans out.Venus gets back to where it was when you met on July 20 – the time of the New Moon in your and his sign…You’ll have a better idea of where this is heading or IF it is anything by then…

Having said all that – yes i have a lot of Air sign energy – and Venus-Uranus – let’s throw this open to actual Cancerians…Should Anxious Crab scuttle over to Crab Guy’s House with a freshly baked apple pie and a wholesome display of cleavage?  In fact, let’s throw this open to everyone. Thoughts? 

 

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eleneetha
eleneetha

yes, call him!

Shawn
Shawn

As a desperate guy who recently separated from his Girlfriend, I have seen a lot of affirmative testimony online posted by people who got back their lovers via love spell. I also witnessed a breathtaking spell work on my BFF that brought back his girlfriend. Utilizing the opportunity at hand was the only option left because I strongly believed Dr Philip can equally help me. Via Dr Philip’s email :drphilipspelltemple@gmail. com, I explained how my heart was broken by my love whom I have been with for 2 years. She left me a month ago saying she no long derived… Read more »

Mark Mcfield
Mark Mcfield

With pisces rising, and cancer on the 5th, have had and seen my fair share of cancer lovers, characters and their shifting behavior and sensitivities, like the tides. Under the covers, they are the most gentle, exquisite and loving of souls but keeping them there, is always the rub. For each and everyone, whenever the time of the full moon rolls around, they seem to can’t help, creating for themselves, one crisis after the other, that’s after having to deal with happy or sad mood swings every two and a half days 24/7. With the most recent cancer affair, the… Read more »

Franker
Franker

i was married for five years with out any child,because of this my husband start acting very strange at home,coming home late and not spending time with me any more.So i became very sad and lost in life because my doctor told me there is no way for me to get pregnant this really make life so hard for me and my family.my sister in law told me about DR SERAPHIN from the Internet,how he has helped people with this similar problem that i am going through so i contacted him and explain to him.he cast a spell and it… Read more »

cancergirl120
cancergirl120

I am a single Cancer girl..I like this Cancer guy we are friends we work together but I think he likes me too, but it is weird because he said he has a girlfriend, then yesterday I overheard him say that he going through a divorce….anyway he is very secretive about everything i just want to know does that mean he doesn’t want to tell me alot we just really became friends in the last couple of months…what do you think is happening here? He is going through alot right now I don’t want to turn my back on him… Read more »

carine
carine

Thanks to Dr Shiva for bringing back my boyfriend after 6 month of break up Dr Shiva brought back my lover in just 2days if you need his help to get your love back please contact Dr Shiva on his email Reunitingexspell@yahoo.com

Stacey Bruno
Stacey Bruno

I never believed in love spells or magic until I met this spell caster once when i went to see my friend in Indian this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is Dr ATILA he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cos the man i had wanted to marry left me 5 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cos our relationship… Read more »

Cancer girl
Cancer girl

Hello everybody, I really need your advice on this. I am a cancer female myself and dating a cancer guy. He is the most strange and moody person I have ever met. He says he loves me, but then out of sudden he can get really quiet and dont say anything. Sometimes I just really dont get him, he likes the attention of all the girls around him and cant stand when someone rejects him. Why is this so important to him if he has me as his gf and says he loves me. He chased me for a lot… Read more »

ethereal cap
ethereal cap

very interesting reading all these insightful comments… i haven’t dated for 25 years, lol ! *omg, am i still human?* Venus in Aqua, a flower on a very distant planet indeed 🙂 had a long term rel and nearly, finally, sorted out all that complicated saga out. i won’t talk about that now except to say i stay in a lot to keep myself out of trouble. so i was thinking, like Min and Fallen, and so many said above, have your own life, be responsible for your own happiness, put the excitement in your own life by finding what… Read more »

ethereal cap
ethereal cap

final thought, love and romance is not a rational process, so at least i can aim to keep ‘my’ life that way, even tho i do so look forward to my future, know there’s a few interested in me already and feel good about myself and my looks etc 🙂

i do like Creatrix’s ideas too 🙂

missfine
missfine

JEEZ LOUISE I READ THIS TOO LATE!!!!!! i just had the same situation with my aries rising mars cancer/4th house who is out of town, i freaked…turned out he was in a mood. hiding and eating cereal. also sometimes when someone is out of town, they’re just busy and out of town. its a whole new groove, and the more laid back types are like “what’s the big deal? i have to talk to you EVERY DAY?” and if someone is in a weird mood they probably will doubly NOT want to speak on the phone. they SHOULD at least… Read more »

oneirix
oneirix

I’d say let him go; in my experience, crabs always come back (eventually).

And is it just me, or are cancer/cancer rising peeps always gorgeous?!

fallen angel
fallen angel

Hmm, not sure if all cancer/cancer rising peeps are all gorgeous – but gee, I wish the world was of the same opinion.. haha. Obviously am a Cancer..

oneirix
oneirix

Haha well I don’t know what it is, but the past 4 or 5 most recent guys I’ve been with were all cancer/cancer rising (or cancer moon) and they’re really just beautiful people. Emo with weird, ambivalent relationships to home, but beautiful. :p

Ainslie
Ainslie

Exactly!!!! No explanation.

Andru
Andru

Never chase after anyone but especially during a Venus transit. Cultivate your own garden and stay rooted. Come August scurry on toward what grabs you about the truthfulness of the situation. Time to break old ways of being. Apple pie and cleavage don’t bake it anymore. Time for the whole person to show up.

missus mercurious
missus mercurious

My crab-man experiences have been some of the worst in the zodiac so I can’t offer comfort, only harsh realism. The moodiest sign of the zodiac can be amazing when you’re what they believe they famcy but when their fancy shifts they are equally passionate about making an escape… and don’t expect any explanation as they’re too caught up in the drama of their own hearts to stop & analyze things! Analytical types like u deserve a nice earth or air sign who can talk u thru their actions. This ain’t a diss but I laughed knowingly when I read… Read more »

Anon
Anon

I had an experience with a Crab man recently. If I wasn’t already turned off by his Venus in cancer I definitely would have when I saw his comments on Facebook. He’s an artist/photographer/writer and dedicated an article to his mum – “this one’s for my mum… Love you mumma”. Mumma!! 😯 ewww *puke* Nothing wrong with appreciate your mother but “mumma” !!. Isn’t that what you call your mum when your 5?!

12th house virgo
12th house virgo

MM’s advice is the best – get on with your life, get over your fear, and – most likely – you’ll see things aren’t as bad as you suspected. In any event – you don’t control his responses to you. You control your responses, your actions. Focus on where you have power, not where you don’t. Besides – wtf should you be worried? Shouldn’t he (and perhaps he will) get back to figuring out how to please/chase you. If not – if he needs to be prodded and controlled and mommied and maintained – do you really want to make… Read more »

Ains
Ains

The awful experiences I’ve had this year involved cancerians???? Are they alright? They say how you treat others is a reflection of how you feel about yourself….

GirlSix
GirlSix

Mystic gave solid advice, definitely do not chase. I don’t care if th e guy is Cancer, Aquarius, or Alien. There is a great book by Natalie Lue called Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl. She writes about a type of Mr. Unavailable called the Future Faker. He sells you on an amazing future together, makes promises he can’t keep (and makes these promises WAY too early in the relationship, bordering on inappropriate). Then, once he reels you in he disappears. Actually, the Cancer guy sounds like the Aqua guy who disappeared. Yes, the astro is weird right now and… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

i read that as ” i don’t care if the guy is Cancer Aquarius or Allen”

i know a very strange Allen

creatrix
creatrix

I am surprised at all the ‘don’t chase’ advice. When it feels right it can be okay to chase! My advice would be to chase as you wish but don’t dump your emotions on him as that is a little rude.

Have Merc, Venus & Saturn in Cancer and I have chased a Cancerian Man to positive effect in the past.

creatrix
creatrix

Also I find there is a lot of generalising about ‘men’ in this post. Really I understand that many have been hurt, but that is no other man’s problem but your own to transmute. And I get that one shouldn’t chase if it is going to set the wrong tone long term etc. but some guys need a bit of encouragement and are very vulnerable.
Only you can judge in the moment. Rules are crap.

Anonymous
Anonymous

“some guys need a bit of encouragement and are very vulnerable.”

That is the dumbest ‘rule’ of all.

Creatrix
Creatrix

Duh. My point exactly. It is NOT a rule. Why not try being an INDIVIDUAL? What are these generalisations? It’s disrespectful to the self and others all this fitting people into boxes. Treat ’em mean etc. so passé. Be a courageous, loving person, not a gender specific unable to think or act without checking a Rule Book sheep.

FireyG
FireyG

have been thinking/studying this lately, attachment styles – the three types:

A) insecure avoidant (the baby, the adult, the human, who doesn’t want to cling the parent/lover, indifferent and lack of delight at point of reunion)

B) secure (protests vigorously at parent/lover, actively searches for them during their absence, intense delight at reunion) (altho, at adult version of this, i think we would hope less ‘protesting and searching’ and more trusting)

C) anxious-ambivalent (distress at departures of parent/lover, but reunions bring no joy ..)

WaterVirgo
WaterVirgo

Have you read ‘Attached’ on this subject? Fascinating.

Anonymous
Anonymous

hey, this is interesting. is that a book called ‘attached’? might look for in library…

Curious Cancerian
Curious Cancerian

i love “Attached”… I am definitely Anxious. And I love how anti-game playing the book is.

Charley
Charley

Great book, really helped me, I’m hyper anxious!

WaterVirgo
WaterVirgo

Me too! Love the anti-game playing too. Authenticity is so du jour.

Vuldaen
Vuldaen

Treat ’em mean, keep ’em keen.

fallen angel
fallen angel

Vuldaen, am sure we all read your short but sweet note, I’m no personally a proponent – by the time I get mean I’m literally harsh, but can I ask if this is from a gay or straight perspective?

I’m curious to know what a man thinks.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Oh, boy. Painful. Been there, done that, and got so desperate I purchased a copy of Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars. My experience? If you want to feel like this regularly, make excuses for him – based on his astro, or that dick John Gray, or blind hope – and yeah, maybe he will come back, for a bit. Ugh.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Ok I’m a Pisces and I once fell disgustingly hard for a Cancer male and he did the SAME THING. I was in college and we were perfect for about a couple of months and then spring break happened and “poof” he was gone. It was horrible especially because I couldn’t understand why! Well, anyway turns out he had Venus in Gemini and- yeah-a wandering eye. So be careful! Im not sure if the Venus placement is what caused this, but I’ve never met a more cruel person and I have dated my fair share of Saggittarius and Aquarius men… Read more »

aquacrab
aquacrab

As a crab dealing with direct pluto/uranus zapping on my sun at the moment, is it possible the distance can be explained by the crab trying to deal with these energies??
I know I’ve had to have WAY more alone time and down time than usual at the moment to deal with pluto opp my sun – to the detriment of some close relationships

Anonymous
Anonymous

Seems this situation is the classic male/female push/pull dynamic. A situation I have no idea how to negotiate. Can only empathise because still in the dark. If anyone ever figures this out let me know. Am sure alot of us would be eternally grateful. Good luck CC.

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯

I remember Mystic saying not rule anyone in or out until August. I’d take a breather on a that note… 😯

Pegasus
Pegasus

A man chases a woman until she catches him? The hunter gets captured by the game? The man has realised he came on to quick too fast and is now assimilating it all….grokking it if you will. Purchase Margot Anand’s The Art of Sexual Magic or The Art of Sexual Ecstasy and put it on the coffee table. You will then have the full set of Derwents, 72 colours instead of 12. You WILL see him again, sweat the Big-stuff not the Small. Read nothing mainstream about relationships dating & men. Angel mentioned his Scorp Moon = his emotions, serious… Read more »

Anonymous 2
Anonymous 2

True that Pegs – about the Scorp moon men. They understand emotions very well.

Zaiborg
Zaiborg

I would LOVE to give another sweet Crab-Man a try! (ok, make that a non totally mental one anyway…)
I used to explain them so – one step towards you – one step back. Make a bold play, freak, then scuttle back in retreat to think about it…etc etc.
Sigh
Scorpio slayers….

Savannah
Savannah

Mystic recommended the great book Why Men Marry Bitches in a consult. The book echoes a lot of what’s being said here. Not chasing, knowing thy self, keeping your dignity etc. as a crab moon & rising it was a great attitude adjuster. Good for dealing with all males & their horseshit lol

Curious Cancerian
Curious Cancerian

My problem with ‘no chasing’ is that sometimes it’s allowed situations to peter out with no real conclusion. Not that chasing would have resulted in a healthy, mutually giving relationship, but it would have given me closure.

Also, I think it’s a little unfair to lump all men together, but by and large I get what people mean.

mitra
mitra

I can relate to that CC. But it’s mostly about my own need to control.

I find that thinking about what is respectful to the guy helps to dissipate these urges. If he wants to talk to you and develop things he will do so; to force someone into that if they don’t want to is not honouring their freedom to choose. Let him reveal himself to you and find pleasure in that mystery.

Curious Cancerian
Curious Cancerian

Hi everyone… I would love to reply to each of you individually, but so many of you have sent kind words and advice that it would take forever! I am indeed the Anxious Crab. Thank you all so much for contributing to my quest to understand a beautiful Crab man. Lots of you have recommended getting more a life in this new city; you’re undoubtedly correct and it is something I need to work on. Being a Crab, I’m finding being away from my family especially difficult right now. Also, for those who wondered about our Mars/Venus compatibility: his Mars… Read more »

cosmic fleece
cosmic fleece

Hello Lovely, I was just thinking, as this is a new town/city for you, maybe try googling ‘interesting things to do in…..’, or search ”trip advisor” or even atlas obscura, that way you can keep yourself busy, and find cool new places to visit once senor katakan comes back from under his shell. The Katakan/Cancerian women I know are also the bravest i know – once they make that first step out there into the wilderness, then they seem to find their feet and off they go tracking down best bars/museums/art galleries/cafes/soup kitchens/libraries/restaurants/markets/walks/hidden tracks/ the works … xx treat yourself… Read more »

cosmic fleece
cosmic fleece

Keep Busy Baby,
Can you get out for runs/walks/exercise to tire your body out ? a local indoor pool to swim it out….i would be doing anything to keep myself distracted…invent a new mantra, be kind to yourself..x

Crab on fire
Crab on fire

And check out your basic compatibility Mars Venus moon etc it will totally break your heart if there’s not a platform there, they really get you these guys…very romantic, carIng, attentive

Crab on fire
Crab on fire

PS mars in crabby guys have very strong female archetypes that you must be, nurturing but not motherly, sexy but not slutty, whorish but virginal, smart and independant but adoring, etc it goes on

if you fall... dive
if you fall... dive

omg they DO. though all crabs do this, ESPECIALLY if they have a lot of water – specifically kataka – in their chart. taurus venus+aries mars = aggressive to get in bed but then aggressively passive once they’re in it. cancer with leo venus = they want a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets; wear something conservative with hidden lingerie… when they realize your panties are leopard print with red lace trim, congrats because you’re in forever. add to that aries mars, and you get a chivalrous knight who will rip you apart as soon as… Read more »

Pegasus
Pegasus

OMG leopard skin with lace? RED lace with leopard
skin? Double OMG!
signed the lingerie fashion police.

Besides Kataka men would prefer crepe de chine, silk or satin of a pale shade with lace preferably
in a 30’s style camisole & french knickers or short slips with suspender belt and cream lace tops stockings peeking out.

Ms.
Ms.

supercrab did not give a shit about lingerie, he was happy with a good bra and nude- much to my disappointment. I have a wonderful stocking and suspender collection and it did not matter. Just loved skin and to be close- gutted

I have finally found an appreciative audience in the Aqua for my fetishes.

if you fall... dive
if you fall... dive

TO BE FAIR, the leopard/red lace was worn while with the kataka w/leo venus & aries mars. So, nice fabric for cancer sensibilities, leopard fo his leo, and red for his mars. it turned out to be one of my better happenstances. (trust me, he approved of the cut and the contrast of it against my skin 😉 ) he also preferred neutral day look, but wanted sexy underneath. class and all that. kataka with toro venus and aries mars = I had to DRAG him away from lingerie stores every time we went out, all he wanted to do… Read more »

Charley
Charley

Yeah my Crab was 100% uninterested in lingerie, just skin and getting au naturel.

SassyCapricorn
SassyCapricorn

I agree! Lol I met a crab guy and I wore Fishnet suit and saw me & he was like “Oh my god” but didn’t have sex lol so I thought he’s not in the mood so I changed to normal red bra & red thong and he turns and grabbed me spanked my ass haha and wants sex lmao this cancer guy is confusing

fallen angel
fallen angel

So annoying when they don’t care much about the wrapping non? But hello, every man has a thing. Ex husband the Nebulous Cancerian liked tight gym outfits, anything that basically made you look like a sausage he was on board with – I didn’t much care for that. The Adulterous Toro had a school uniform mandate vis a vis Sexy Librarian. The WHU is into beach wear but is a bit odd to be prancing about the house in a rash guard & bikini bottoms. The Double Libran Ex basically enjoyed anything that was Very Lady – but Hades forbid… Read more »

Anonymous 2
Anonymous 2

I’m glad there are men out there who don’t go for the wrapping because I couldn’t be bothered with it myself.
As long as the sex is great who cares about the wrapping. And it’s freakin expensive as well.
When a guy’s really into you, he’ll think you look sexy washing the dishes or doing something mundane. It shouldn’t be restricted to the bedroom

Ms.
Ms.

Of course. It’s important to have what you value in common.

I know this is not the place to discuss the actual meaning of fetish, nor are mine restricted to just this, but its hardly me dressing up for them for approval.

Natural expression of self is the key x

Renalien
Renalien

Dressing for pleasure; some people just don’t get it.

It’s not just our feet that are sisters… x

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

NFI what happened there but that was moi. x

Ms.
Ms.

For sure. We had other great things to share, and bonding around that is the point yes, but a fetish is not an interest so of course I was miffed. It was just that thing of click and then clack. Amusingly though his basic astro layout did defy all sterotyping.

Crab on fire
Crab on fire

I have a moonie and mars crab guy, they retreat and then full on, retreat, full on, can drive you nuts. Also they process things SLOWLY, more I found than most men which is SLOW. He’s done the exact same recently lol but I’ve seen this before in him and we did have a shock external event. Think crab with shell (I’m a crab) we peek out, all looks great we scuttle over and HOLD on, one little thing (you may never know with the guy crabs) can make the shell snap SHUT. Good luck, we are moody as hell… Read more »

fallen angel
fallen angel

Crabs are slow? Yes a bit, but goodness, try dating a work-obsessed Cappo and you will feel the romance creak along a la Father Time. Just my experience..

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

FA you’ve just described my love life for the past 20 years with work-obsessed Caps!! … Come on universe, bring me a man who isn’t born in the first fortnight of January, lol

Ms.
Ms.

genuinely laughed then.

fallen angel
fallen angel

haha.. glad to know it’s not just me..Cappos have amazing bed work, humor and are fantastically giving but you’d have to find a way to break them out of the Fortress of Solitude..seriously.

Or get on the Board of Directors of Capp Corp so you can get a bit more attention.

WaterVirgo
WaterVirgo

Spot on about the Caps.

sweetpea
sweetpea

Double Cappy Kung Fu Master from yonks ago saw me at the laundry mat doing my knickers (circa 200/1)…He said “I remember those”. He then (four years after I broke up with him) went on to apologize for being an idiot. He was dropping his laundry at the mat to have them do it by the way… I was doing my laundry at the mat as I did not have a washer and dryer for four years… Not sure how much that makes sense but his apology did mean something…I noticed a pattern with the men in my life…They always… Read more »

sweetpea
sweetpea

Know why they came back around and said “sorry”..

Because I have Venus opposite Neptune…

I love unconditionally and put up with alot of shit.

As an Aries that might be nearly unheard of but there comes a time…

When the Saturn in me must set boundries.

That is when there is hell to pay for both them and me. x

needs to land
needs to land

Cap men always break my heart.

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

FA, don’t know about you but in my experience I’ve found Caps love structure, generally, so a decent follow-me-home-stiletto-plus-1940s-former-fascist-regime-underwear combo will persuade them to reprioritise their to-do list 🙂

Anonymous
Anonymous

lolol chrysalis xx

fallen angel
fallen angel

Totes taking notes Chrysalis.. the one I had got way freaked by the vibe, disappeared then came back a YEAR later to apologize.

I’d have gone with the 40’s former fascist regime look a la Greta but he already hyperventilated when I just had a basic black set on..which is not a testament to my hotness, but more the fact that I’m not “normal fare” for him.. tee hee

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

lolol
The apology would be so like a Cap. They do like to finish what they start, and they’re so honourable 🙂

Anonymous
Anonymous

That’s me! Virgo

Panther Zora
Panther Zora

From experience, crab on crab action is best avoided. Sure, he talks all sweet and “the future” at the beginning, but those walls go up as soon as he feels like it’s getting too serious or you are too “in” to them too soon. The whole, “I don’t want to belong to any club that would have me” issue is a male crab thing. If you want him, step back and make him chase you. But you are probably best finding a well-adjusted (hah!) Scorpio or some one with the compatible mars/venus thing going on in his stardust.

ifyoufall... dive
ifyoufall... dive

Someone earlier said that Crabs are all over that if they think they’ve lost what they [at least thought they] had. Agreed – available but visibly going on about your life. Now, I don’t know if you do social networking or anything, but things like facebook are a great place to do this: Contrary to popular belief, updating LESS is best, as if you’re updating it left and right all the time about how awesome your life is and how happy you are, you’re clearly at the opposite end of that. Change your profile pic to something non-descript, update maybe… Read more »

Charley
Charley

Ok so this EXACT, exact same scenario just happened to me only with a Capricorn. Been ‘dating’ since the end of April, long distance for extra complications. I spent the whole weekend freaking out and wailing to my friends, turns out he was having a work/money/life freak out and perhaps just couldn’t accommodate me at the same time this early on. He was busy, I wasn’t so had more time to fixate on in it (in true Scorpionic style), things are back to normal (which is actually totally abnormal for me, I’m still adjusting to so much attention). I also… Read more »

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

I was reading on some sight that signs of the same make up shouldnt be in a close relationship, because it will always drain the partner, even when said things seem to be going fine, Everytime im around my own sign i do feel this. Other aquas can only reaffirm what i already feel, which is great. But for a evolving complex relationship, it does seem to make sense, it was almost like doing an aquarian south node type deal.. There great as friends but i learned i do not want to be ina urber close relationship with peeps of… Read more »

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

From the pathways to ascension website.

                             An intimate relationship with another CANCER means inability to recharge each other’s energy field.  There is a tendency to blend and “act as one element.”  Unless there are other strong energizing elements present, there can be a slow starvation of the nervous system.  Conflict need not be present.

I have found this true being close to aqua peeps that i had a relationship with.

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

You could always consult Mystic to see if you have strong energies, but a general rule of thumb would be to wait for another sign rather than one of your own, unless this thing just goes sweepingly well.. Even more suspect if it does, i would find out if you guys wont follow the pattern above.

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

This is interesting…thanks for sharing. I CANNOT date other Geminis….it’s like it’s impossible to make an emotional connection. Have had amazing sex with a few though….:)

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

I would never in a bazillion years date another Pisces! I can only imagine the chaos. Not to mention the wine bill.

creatrix
creatrix

Am a Leo and have spent a year and 5 years with two different Leo’s. We are still friends. While I prefer a different sign for the learning, I really enjoyed all the Sun. It was very homey. Sun sign path is only one thing, nodes and venus/mars plus houses are totally important imo.

sweetpea
sweetpea

Was married to a Crab for 16 yrs. He made his intention clear from the get go but did say (I think to throw me off a bit) that we would “have fun” until he went to visit in Iran.

Then I got a phone call from the other side of the world asking what kind of ring I wanted, silver or gold. He never really proposed actually.

sweetpea
sweetpea

And I don’t advise ever chasing a man…ever…

Was reading the book awhile back “he’s just not that into you”..Guy said men will go after what they want because that is what men do. I think regardless of what sign it is innate. Patti Stanger of Match Maker Millionaire said men are hunters..

One of my co-workers kept trying to push me to go knock on the Toro’s door. I was like you have to be kidding…

So I knock, we fuq and then what? No thanks. lol

Electric Eel Libran
Electric Eel Libran

yeah the only problem with that theory is that I’m an innate hunter myself. If i don’t chase, i will never appreciate and therefore stray. It’s guaranteed!
But if guys are hunters, how do gay men ever get together then if they both need to hunt? How do lesbians get together if no one will do any hunting?

Anonymous
Anonymous

I’m a chick and I love chasing my men. I am grossed out by easy guys.. I need resistance

Diana
Diana

My, what an interesting discussion here.
Readings from more than one intuitive reveal that I am working on my masculine side (female here) in this lifetime. Truth is, I have an aspect that books mention is masculine for a feminine chart.
So, I hunt, sure. Men I have approached in the past found it refreshing, but they were not Cancer men. I do know Scorp Moons crave depth and complexity.
Good luck

fallen angel
fallen angel

Good point. We DO falsely advertise nonchalance as a smoke screen. Though this doesn’t mean we can’t out-slut the best of them. Rule of thumb, if a Crab Person is telling you they’re the Bad Boy Type, do verify via their actions – it’s likely they’re not as bad as they say they are.

Because those of us who are, definitely do not say so. You know, the better to eat you with 🙂

fallen angel
fallen angel

Holy Urania, is this THE season for Crabs Losing Their Sh*T?? Love all the advice here and ironically, am dealing with a Crab Rising Leo (yes La Leo) with his Moon in Libra, Mars in Cancer and Venus in Virgo. Plus he has a bunch of 4th house placements. Being a Crab myself, am going to go with Jessica’s tres true observation on how “detach” is not exactly in the Crabby M.O. – and I say this even while having an Aqua Moon. Perhaps think more “ALLOW” (same effect, different perspective), generally Katakas can get with any program which honors… Read more »

Charley
Charley

‘don’t chase – attract’ is absolutely the best advice and totally my motto.

Ms.
Ms.

it’s just sound advice for anyone and good human practice outside regardless of astro 🙂

mitra
mitra

Totally agree. If you end up being the one who makes next contact, be compassionate to yourself though. Be careful. it is too common to have multiple relationships on the go.

Don’t text unless its about practical stuff e.g. I am 10 mins late. Texts are just words on a screen, very easy to send and are not a good indication of a person’s intent or integrity int he early stages. And that goes for you too.

Curious Cancerian
Curious Cancerian

I always love your posts, thanks Angel x

fallen angel
fallen angel

You’re welcome – and wow, we have the same moon. If yo man is Moon in Scorp, have you considered the possibility that he is just Scorping you?? i.e. seeing how long you can stand it before you come a-hithering and testing whether or not you have a life? Moon in Scorp can also bring the highest highs, and lowest lows..so maybe this is just the other extreme of him being openly adoring. Just a thought. As for your question about NOT chasing leading to a slow yet sure death, I agree – but I don’t think you can treat… Read more »

Curious Cancerian
Curious Cancerian

Hmm, I never knew Scorps did that… is it a kind of shit test, so to speak (sorry)?

Everything else you’ve said is so thoughtful and really, thank you. You’re very right in terms of needing to Solve Myself. I know that’s the main issue here; it’s just so scary when you find something that you don’t want to lose. xx

Charley
Charley

Yeah we do, sorry. It’s all to do with trust, pushing it to see if we can or not.

Double Trouble Scorp
Double Trouble Scorp

Yes, although we don’t always do it consciously! Sometimes a tiny detail has aroused our suspicion and we wait for things to become clearer. My lovely Virgo bf/ Sagg rising – he wasn’t my bf then – once congratulated me on my birthday one day early (because he couldn’t do it ON my birthday, as he was travelling) and I didn’t respond for a month! Then he innocently asked whether anything had happened or whether he had annoyed me, I told him about my superstition and that I thought it lazy to congratulate me a day early, he was shocked… Read more »

fallen angel
fallen angel

Haha.. I’m glad you chimed in Charley. Ah look, I know how hard it is to let go of something as rarefied as a potential soul mate but this is mid-story and Katakas are incredibly strong, despite the sook advertising. Personally am finding relief in the Gemini Moon, and sort of going, Leo, what Leo? Ya am still obsessing myself but also reckoning with the fact that really if La Leo was that interested am SURE he can do something about it. Btw, footnote on the disappearing Aquas.. mine don’t disappear. They do go off planet but man, I can’t… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

coldly ignoring Aquas is like foreplay…. hahaa FA. i know right, you do your best to shut some people down but instead it ends up driving them wild.

Jessica
Jessica

Absolutely genius advice! I highly recommend the OP taking fallen angel’s words to heart. I only wish I’d had such calming encouragement when I was totes freaking out over my own Kataka man’s incommunicado periods.

All too true about the Cone of Silence and Crab Emo and the part about overstating bad boy tendences. Brava!

Electric Eel Libran
Electric Eel Libran

of all the things i can say about most Crab guys that is good, they are VERY OBVIOUS if they like you. It can feel like the sun is shining on you or if you are me, a microscope is focused on you. So let him be the one to seek you out in general (Venus rx be damned). Be available, touch base with him occasionally to let him know you are out there, but do not chase. They won’t respond to the ignoring thing like Aqua Menz will, so don’t do “fake ignoring”. They will think you hate them… Read more »

Jessica
Jessica

I don’t know– fake ignoring worked like a charm with my Kataka. He was so tuned into it, he’d call me up out of the blue just as I had resolved IN MY MIND to ignore him.

Electric Eel Libran
Electric Eel Libran

Maybe your guy had some other planets, but I find most Crab men sticky. I don’t see how they are hard to have in the first place. 🙁 The fact that a girl is worried about their Crab Man not being around does not bode well…

Jessica
Jessica

Yes, my Kataka man has Sag Moon/Rising so that had something to do with his disappearances. Regardless, I find all Crabs retreat and go into silences at times.

chrissy
chrissy

I am leo scorpio moon signing rising sign leo . I have fallen for a cancerian male , At first it was magic , swept me off my feet then he backed away , go quiet then we will text and it feel good again you know like you know it should be without knowing why you feel it , then he go quiet and then sometimes i text and he doesnt acknowledge it other times he will this has been going on now for over 9months . I do want to explore the posswith him and know him more,… Read more »

Curious Cancerian
Curious Cancerian

Thanks EEL, this advice rings really true to me… I have felt the sun shining on me for the past 6 weeks, but the last few days have been weird.

anonymous
anonymous

That is SO true about the sun shining when a Cancer’s interested.

This Scorp sun/moon Sagg found it a bit alarming though. I prefer the dark… 🙂

Jessica
Jessica

I think “be detached” and “never chase” is the technically sound advice that everyone is giving, but you can’t say “be detached” to a poor Cancer woman. They don’t detach, once attached. Here is my tactical advice as a Crab Mars and Rising (Libra Sun) married to a Crab man. (Who was difficult and moody and commitment-phobic during the 5 years that preceded our engagement.) Yes, Cancer men do this shit, they go into their hole/shell when feeling emotionally overloaded. I wouldn’t make yourself available, I would make yourself UNavailable because the second a Crab thinks he’s losing something he… Read more »

AstroGeek
AstroGeek

OMG. THIS. YES. Thank you! So, I’m Saggo with Scorp Rising and I’m dating a Crab man (first one). (He’s super “logical,” so I’ve been cagey about getting his birth time to find out his rising sign). Anyway, it’s been 8 months and felt like *hell* trying to get through the emotional “shell.” He was super-thoughtful, so romantic, an amazing cook, great in bed … I fell head over heels, but cautiously and a bit aloof as past relationship with Scorp (Cancer rising and Pisces Moon) had left me emotionally wrung out. Was ready to throw in the towel at… Read more »

Anon
Anon

No wonder you were emotionally rung out with the Scorp, crab rising, Pisces moon man – so much water!!!! Lol

Jessica
Jessica

Hi AstroGeek– my Kataka husband is Saggo Moon/Rising. You’d’ probably be perfect for each other! 😛 Sorry! Taken! Haha. I liked your example about how he “sensed” you were thinking negatively about the relationship and then piped up about his family. That is classic Kataka Man. I don’t know if the women do this, I really only have experience with the male variety. It sounds like you are actually really successfully reading him (where’s your moon? You must like a challenge, like I do) . I think what you are saying is more about your self-expression, what you need to… Read more »

air lady
air lady

I think cancer men are kind of scary to be honest. I see a guy with mars in cancer and I run in the other direction. lol But I am an airy libra.

My advice: make yourself available but don’t chase. Think of it this way. If someone was chasing you and you weren’t sure how you felt about that person, would you feel more or less inclined to want to be with them? I am not talking about playing games, but make yourself available without hunting him.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Don’t listen to me. I don’t understand cancer men very well and I haven’t been on a date in two years.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

I’m a Cancer Sun/Venus but with a fair swag of air and fire – especially the mouthy freedom loving Saggo moon so I may not be the best advice giver …. however, … my motto is never abandon yourself, your sanity or your inner peace for ANYONE EVER. That includes hot he-men during pluto transits and plushy toros with come hither eyes during venus retros (my particular weaknesses) … Regroup, reground thyself. Spend your energy on getting to a place where you are accepting of how things are right now. You have zero control over what he is doing or… Read more »

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

True. It is futile trying to decipher someone else’s motives when your life awaits for you.

Pi
Pi

“Plushy toros with come-hither eyes” hahahahahaha it’s TRUE dammit prowln i love your way with words

Ms.
Ms.

There’s some scary advice here..

Ann
Ann

Oh dear! The exact same thing happened to me…I am a cancer with Venus and mars in my gemini and my moon in sagitarius. Bumped into the cancer at the gym with the same birthday exactly and boom! It is a weird dance and so not what I want or need. It is just that a dance. I choose to dance when the mood strikes and if he does as well so be it. I am not worrying about this one. It is pretty awesome in between the sheets though! Cancers are forever in your life. You can define how… Read more »

Suddenly Leo
Suddenly Leo

No, no, no- Crab guys like to be the sweet one, the suffocating one, the emo one. Think about it: Does a Leo want anyone else orchestrating everything and upstaging him? So then why would a Cancer want someone else being touchy-feely? She should use the space as an opportunity to meet more people- join a running group, a knitting group, a cooking class, a book club, even a continuing ed class at a local college- whatever it takes to get out of the house at least once a day and interact with people. It’ll put the whole situation in… Read more »

fallen angel
fallen angel

Suddenly, I have zero experience with Leo Men and am now slightly addled over a Cancer Rising one. Last night we bonded over Empire Building Ideas via text along with tons of flirting, and he made enough noises to let me know he was impressed.. but I don’t just want impressed, I want the keys to the flipping kingdom. Any advice on How To Deal with a Crab Rising Leo? Having said that, I am also now emo-morphing into being attractively distracted and dignified – I have my own damn kingdom to attend to. He seems to talk A LOT… Read more »

Min
Min

Good reply. The girl’s obviously lonely in a new place and new job. It’s a real opportunity to find new friends and a whole new life.

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Chase no man, ever.

Ms.
Ms.

tick.

scorpiorising
scorpiorising

Agreed. If he isn’t contacting you and doesn’t have a valid excuse (lost at sea/lost his cell) then move on.

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

Sad but true. If a man wants to contact, then come hell or heaven, he will find a way to communicate.

bluesky
bluesky

Tis true. men are hunters at heart. if they’ve stopped hunting, they have been diverted by someone else or just lost interest (or they are dysfunctional in their approach to relationships…) None of the above are great for the woman who’s turned around to realize she’s not being chased anymore. Of course, sometimes both men and women back off or wander, then return. Then one has to understand if it’s a pattern with them or not–and we’re back to the dysfunctional possibility again. Better to become diverted yourself! Keep finding where your life really is (hint– it’s the stuff that… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

Or w hen shit happens!

Libragirl
Libragirl

12th Commandment……Amen

Zentriplet
Zentriplet

Roger that!

Watch and wait… then you’ll know what he’s really made of.

Chrysalis
Chrysalis

What they said! Maybe it’s because I”m having oh, about my 27th Mars return in 6 months along with Mars opp my Sun and transiting (again, sigh) my Pluto/Uranus 1st house conjunction, but overnight I seem to have sprouted a pair of steel-capped cojones. SO tired of doing the emotional heavy lifting and having to be the one who ‘decodes’ the bloke’s behaviour. How you handle this will set up the dynamic for the rest of your relationship, if you choose to continue with him. Under no circumstances act like his mother or bake him a pie! I live with… Read more »

Meowmix
Meowmix

yup – it is degrading. be with someone who wants to be with you and doesn’t want to let you go.

leave the ball in his court and see if he comes around. if not, it will hurt but ‘rejection is protection’. and ‘success is the best revenge’!

gemyogi
gemyogi

LOVE! Thanks Saturnalien…

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

🙂

Curious Cancerian
Curious Cancerian

Have you ever heard of Brene Brown and her studies on how people who make themselves vulnerable are the happiest? All of my friends in wonderful relationships are the ones who are willing to put themselves on the line occasionally. Not necessarily ‘chase’, but reach out and make their feelings or needs known.

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

No I haven’t heard of Brene Brown or her studies. I’ve got nothing against reaching out and making my feelings or needs known but I’m only inclined to do that after I’ve firmly established that the guy isn’t a complete loser/user/fuqwit type who sucks women in by telling them all the shit he thinks they want to hear with the sole aim of getting into her pants. If I were in the situation above, I’d be inclined to watch and wait. If Mr Cancer came back in a week or whatever then I’d find out why the absence, and if… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

As someone with venus-neptune exactly conjunct, I live a kindness and sense of vulnerable that I have fought to keep most of my life, but I have to agree with Saturnalien here that if you are that way inclined, you have to be strong on your boundaries in what you invest in. Early dating, venus retro, all this, is a mark of time of review ourselves and our own relationship behaviour with a level of self honesty. That is the haute of it all, even in this crazy Astro, or especially. Haute people manage boundaries, it’s not a case of… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

give space! people – men – usually come back… and in the meantime you can think about whether you really miss / want / need him. i’m always depressed the first few days but afterwards, i’m only angry (and with a pluto-run personality like mine, it’s effect is that of a rocket drive…). all the best, and stand firm! after all, you don’t want him to be around for the wrong reasons… pity or pressure etc.

Double Trouble Scorp
Double Trouble Scorp

oops, didn’t mean to post this entirely anonymously. better with a nom de plume. 😉 i’m scorp with scorp rising btw.

SourPatch
SourPatch

What are the moon signs? I think that makes ALL the difference . I’m a Crab with a Plutonic Virgo Moon and the only semi-romantic experience I’ve had with another Crab was a little bit complicated. Even if he was techincally “free” now, I don’t think I would consider it. He has a Sag moon and therefore needs to grow up. Other than that, I’ve had celebrity obsessions that were fellow crabs, but that’s it. In fact, I think I would only consider being romantically involved with another Cancer if he had a fixed moon or a well supported moon.… Read more »

Curious Cancerian
Curious Cancerian

Hi SourPatch… As some might suspect from my earlier comment on the Zap Zone post below, I am the Anxious Crab. As for the moon signs, his is Scorp, mine is a disgruntled Aqua who can’t believe how emotional I’m being.

AquaMeg
AquaMeg

Hi CC, w/ Aqua Sun (Kataka rising) it is a strange mix of push me-pull you, pull back-pull forward. Tides in, tides out …. But the tides do come back in. We just need to wait for it. Wait and trust the tides.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Crab with a Scorpio Moon…..YUM. Atleast it’s my catnip, having a plutonified moon myself. But both of you having fixed moons is FANTASTIC. In my experience, Crabs with more stable moons (fixed, earth) are better at taking personal responsibility for themselves. In other words: they’re least likely to take you on the emotional rollercoaster ride that is their moods. That isn’t to say they don’t have moods. I suspect this particular Scorpio Moon prefers to brood alone as opposed to making it a public affair. Overall I can’t give you a solid opinion on him because Venus is still retro… Read more »

SourPatch
SourPatch

Oops! This is me!

virgoaquaetc
virgoaquaetc

um… i’m not a crab and tbh i don’t get them. i am an air virgo! lol. so i am shit at feelings. but i second mystic’s rational advice – do what MM says. also… it’s tough because i know when i feel someone pulling away, i want to pull them in harder (maybe i *can* relate to crab)… but that then can make the other person pull away MORE. also.. you are still at early days and this is when you want to be showing off your most amazing (but genuine) qualities. be authentic either way. show your emotions… Read more »

Mystic Medusa
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