Advice for dating a Cancer man? Well, first up yes they play games and run little experiments. But they won’t duck direct emotional dialogue. Read on for my advice to “Anxious Crab,” a Cancerian woman mystified by the erratic contact of her Crab guy.
I am currently dating my first ever Cancer (I’m Cancer too). I met him at the end of April, and for the last 6 weeks, it has been nothing short of amazing. He’s been keen, constantly contacting, talking about the future (but not in a creepy way) and openly adoring. I’ve fallen hard. Now, I might be jumping the gun, but as of late last week, he’s been a bit distant. he only texted in response to one that I sent him, and it was a very late reply at that (he did apologize though). We were previously in contact 5-6 days out of 7; now I’ve had 2 messages since Thursday. My phone is taunting me with its lack of action. It’s becoming hard to imagine him ever contacting me again.
As an avid reader of all you write, I am aware of the Venus Retrograde situation, and that I shouldn’t chase. But I work from home, in a new city where I know only a few people (all of whom work long hours). It means I have a lot of time to freak out about this situation and ponder doing crazy things. My last beau (Aqua Man) disappeared without a trace, and I’m TERRIFIED of this happening again. My question is, do Cancer men do this kind of shit? He’s not a commitment phobe; he’s had a few long term relationships and things have moved very quickly between us. Is there a particular Crab Friendly approach I should be taking?
I hope Venus Retro is being kinder to you, wonderful Mystic.
Blessings, The Anxious Crab
PS: I should probably add that my Crab is an Ultra Crab: Sun, Mars, Venus, and Mercury all in Cancer! “
My Dear Anxious Crab,
First up, if you have to have “terrified” in your emotional repertoire, let it be for something more profound than a guy ghosting you.
You met when Venus was beginning her journey through Gemini and now he is a.w.o.l. with Venus Retro. I mean, you can’t count him in or out till the Venusian Voodoo completes at the end of July. However, Crab Guys often love their women on a pedestal. Did you say something that sounded too, you know, basic?
“Since April” is a nano-blip of time. He might be busy. Or have family problems he does not want to share with you. As you would know from being Cancerians yourself, family dramas cut to the Cancerian quick. Alternatively, he is trying to decelerate the pace. Or he is experimenting to see if you “turn psycho” when he pulls back. Dating a Cancer man means accepting that they’re both emotionally intelligent/articulate and manipulative.
Like the Moon, their intimacy/closeness metrics wax and wane. One moment they want proximity and to share everything. They get miffed when you are not in contact. The next, they’re scoring space by manufacturing a fake snit.
Do whatever you can to detach from this scenario – if it works out, it works out. Emulate your long hours working friends. Find some other stuff you like to do apart from obsessing over this Crab Guy. Venus gets back to where it was when you met on July 20 – the time of the New Moon in Cancer. You’ll have a better idea of where this is heading by then.
Having said all that, let’s throw this open to the commenters. Should Anxious Crab scuttle over to Crab Guy’s House with a freshly baked apple pie and a wholesome display of cleavage? Thoughts?
Image: Ray Caesar