Here are your Food Horoscopes in one — Jupiter in Taurus ups appetites, particularly for carbohydrates. And Taurus + Cancer are the foodies of the Zodiac.
Jupiter Void in TAURUS is enough to fuq with even the most devout, body-chemistry-optimal diet. Jupiter the planet is a gigantic blob of inert gas. Jupiter in Taurus is enough to turn us into giant blobs of inert gas – only on the couch, not in the sky. And with only a fridge/pantry full of carbosexual fetish items to orbit around.
I mean, seriously? Even the Paleo Capricorn Crossfit Crossfit fanatic with a thousand dating/dieting apps was seen breezing out of a foo-foo gourmet chocolate den, looking like she’d been snorting nirvana. Carbosexuality is the new Emo Eating.
Food, they say, is the most abused substance of all and it is legal to self-medicate with it.
But Jupiter in GEMINI is next week. We’ll all be flitting around in breatharian mode, shuddering at the hideously grounding effects of anything starchy. Jupiter in Taurus bakes stuff – Jupiter in Gemini would feed a loaf of bread to passing birds and put the resulting Birds-style frenzy on Instagram.
Are you happy you can blame carbosexuality on Jupiter? Or are you doing Retro-Venus in Gemini relationship/appearance flip-outs? A quick note: radical cosmetic surgery/new wardrobe/over the top romantic actions should generally NOT be acted upon when Venus is Retro.
Image: Franco Fedeli