Carbosexual Sumo Astrology

Filed in ASTROLOGY

Sophia Loren eating spaghetti

Here are your Food Horoscopes in one — Jupiter in Taurus ups appetites, particularly for carbohydrates. And Taurus + Cancer are the foodies of the Zodiac.

Jupiter Void in TAURUS is enough to fuq with even the most devout, body-chemistry-optimal diet.  Jupiter the planet is a gigantic blob of inert gas. Jupiter in Taurus is enough to turn us into giant blobs of inert gas – only on the couch, not in the sky.  And with only a fridge/pantry full of carbosexual fetish items to orbit around.

I mean, seriously? Even the Paleo Capricorn Crossfit Crossfit fanatic with a thousand dating/dieting apps was seen breezing out of a foo-foo gourmet chocolate den, looking like she’d been snorting nirvana.  Carbosexuality is the new Emo Eating.

Food, they say, is the most abused substance of all and it is legal to self-medicate with it.

But Jupiter in GEMINI is next week. We’ll all be flitting around in breatharian mode, shuddering at the hideously grounding effects of anything starchy. Jupiter in Taurus bakes stuff – Jupiter in Gemini would feed a loaf of bread to passing birds and put the resulting Birds-style frenzy on Instagram.

Are you happy you can blame carbosexuality on Jupiter?  Or are you doing Retro-Venus in Gemini relationship/appearance flip-outs? A quick note: radical cosmetic surgery/new wardrobe/over the top romantic actions should generally NOT be acted upon when Venus is Retro.

Image: Franco Fedeli

 

 

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PimilleunanotteIs it Ainslie or not?AqualeoscorpmnSaturnalien Recent comment authors
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Pi
Pi

Hey. Here I am, almost 2 (!?!) years later. How time flies…?
Question: How can we determine if a natal planet is void of course?

Pi
Pi

ah. never mind, if anyone is reading this. just found a page that explains ..

Chrysalis (no longer lionfish)
Chrysalis (no longer lionfish)

Noooooo!!!! I can’t stand this post any longer, yet I can’t stop reading it!!! Cake! Bread! Chips!!! Arrggghgghhh.

*Waits for microwave to ping indicating it’s time to scoff perfectly cooked baked potato and butter at a time of day not usually associated with a meal*

bluesky
bluesky

*Pops coconut-white chocolate square into mouth and reads*

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

*wonders if devonshire scones twice in one day is too much*

Anonymous
Anonymous

*Pops coconut-white chocolate square into mouth and reads*

Anon
Anon

French fries with accompanying condiment of garlic mayonnaise and NO GUILT. Enough said.

catfish moon
catfish moon

My Taurus has been eating again. Thank you Jupiter. He firms up and loses fat when he eats.
I, on the other hand, have gained weight.

Leo Princess
Leo Princess

Taurus Husband and I tried churros on Sunday. What could be wrong with sugar, fat and chocolate all in one deep-fried handy-sized serve? As it turns out, quite a lot. What were we thinking, we kept asking each other even as we ate. Never again. Until the next “good idea” or Jupiter void in Taurus.

Confused Gem
Confused Gem

I read this earlier and was like phftt…I’m stuck in the library revising for finals, no food to binge on. Then decided to go out for dinner and dropped by the Asian grocery to stock up on snacks. Like OMG.

I also forgot I was happily munching on my box of baked bread sticks.

Pegasus
Pegasus

Howzat for astro explaining my eating pasta the last THREE nights, then undressing for bed kneeling by the heater next to full-length mirror and admiring then giggling at my rounded tummy, an all time first. It’s insane how trim i am with defined muscles at my age, but happiness that the Taurean Jupe ,void or not, has given me rounded boobies and bum. There is a saying that after 40 plus years,’ a woman keeps her face or her bum’. Now i’m cheeky 🙂 and my hands are full 🙂 the downside is i have become LAZY, that speedy-skinny fast… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

That’s so cute! I love it when my tummy sticks out after eating. Cats do that. After they eat they get little pouchy tummies for a short while. I’m sure you won’t be still for long, Pegasus, there’s such a thing as rest, even for thoroughbreds.

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

I will admit i do love a guy with a belly, not fat. But in the right places, thick, soft muscle, super definition thorax of a scorpion abs turn me off. I feel like that person is highly strung.

Gimme a stocky roid free jupiterish guy anyday over these wafer thin men… Mars is conjunct my jupiter though.

Ms.
Ms.

Baking an apple pie as we speak.

Organic, vegan and no gluten of course. With cashew nut cream

Venus a-go-go
Venus a-go-go

I am full, but you have my complete and undivided attention.

Pegasus
Pegasus

Can’t cook, can’t bake, can’t roast w/o setting the oven on fire, hopeless in the kitchen. Was good at making reservations 🙂 Anyone that can bake a pie has my absolute admiration. An apple pie deserves a medal! Now i’m thinking Cornwall clotted cream from the jersey cows that hang around that area near King Arthur’s castle ruins. Can make a seriously good spaghetti bolognaise. Have been doing the Paleo diet way before before it was named as such as it is so simple, nothing needs cooking for more than 5-10 mins. London must be so much abuzz at mo… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

“good at making reservations” – gold

Let’s just say the Aqua put me in a good mood.

Thanks Pegs, save some for you too venus. I LOVE baking. You wouldn’t think it to look at me. My late gem asc puts me a mostly cancerian 1st house and ceres conjunct MC. Secret Wifey.

Making my own magic here 😉

Venus a-go-go
Venus a-go-go

There is nothing quite like a good, comprehensive, well executed baking session.
It’s has increasingly become my down time. You can’t actually nip out of the house for any reason when you have things in the oven. And I find that people just invite themselves over.

*eats pie happily*

Chrysalis (formerly lionfish)
Chrysalis (formerly lionfish)

Totes agree… baking / slow cooking have become like a meditation practice for me. I always love to cook but at the mo it’s become more, I dunno, necessary. I hunt down new baking dishes at good kitchen shops. Made a crumble the other night – love the tactile nature of it – and a syrup cake just out of the oven now 🙂

Ms.
Ms.

meditative yes! also, to produce something. make create kind of thing. very good from all this digital of late x

aqualeoscorpmn
aqualeoscorpmn

Im suprised, every sagi i know, has a way with spices, they rule spices.

Any planets in cancer? Maybe u can call on those, the cooking i do do is always done perfectly, not because, i want it perfect, i just know my food is alive. Once i treated it that way the burning stopped.

Ms.
Ms.

Im scorpio sun/merc/uranus and sagg moon, venus/neptune. No crab planets but my 1st house. Ceres MC aries trine moon. Always loved cooking. Baking was my obsession to nail my coeliac into something amazing rather than a burden. So now it’s all apple pie 🙂

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

Sorry knew you could cook, was trying to get pegasus into the kitchen. Preferably One without antique china…

Lol

But MS the evolved Ceres MC will do it..

Ms.
Ms.

it actually started on a uranus transit.

luminere
luminere

the last 24 hrs has seen me consume more bread that i have eaten in the last month- and I had no idea why…. I’m now making myself head to bed to ensure no more toast and nutella shall pass my lips!

earthmonkey
earthmonkey

yesterday was so tofu & seaweed…today is bring it on pizza…a cosmically inspired appetite is never dull!

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

Well I cannot WAIT for Jupiter to roar into my 1st house….my trademark patience and slogging thru it-ness (for that I credit being so close to Taurus) is starting to crack and I am OUT OF PATIENCE!!! need something to happen STAT….that job to come through, my health to shape up, etc. Was doing the carb-loading thing for MONTHS, which has led me to my current state of frustration over not being able to lose weight despite a sensible diet and starting a hardcore fitness regime. But, as of this week I’ve give up coffee, cut waaaaaaay back on sugar… Read more »

Not the real Ainslie
Not the real Ainslie

As a Taurus sun and ascendant … I neither feel this carbo whatever crap… I’m neither fat or wasting my life on a couch and in fact I don’t have a tv…. So no all you generalist. That’s a big no to tv dinners.

Taureans are not the chubby kid it’s ok to pick on at school.

Pegasus
Pegasus

Lighten up. I love the art of subtle send-ups on Saggos.
You should see how elegant and graceful i am until i go
head over heels in an awkward trip over my feet.
Don’t you do couch or cuisine a lot? Or when you can or no-when one’s looking?

I think it's Ainslie
I think it's Ainslie

All saggos cheat. ….?

You miss the point. I love being teased. However if you( like myself) have followed the long term convo’s and general opinions on this site of taureans the couch potatoe does get a little tiring and in my case belittling.

: ) we are all created equal.

Joan
Joan

hmmm jupiter void in taurus?? ok! interesting!
l have jupiter in Gemini 🙂 can’t wait for it to blast me into space yaaaay!!!
with the bread crumbs and all…l’d be happy to feed the birdies in outer space …kind of done with this dimension!

katherine the crab
katherine the crab

Seriously have not been able to stop stuffing my face for 2.5 weeks.
Plus, now it is stuvac and I am meant to be studying but all I am doing it eating to procrastinate. Was going so well prior to all this!!!

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯

Mars is practically sitting on top of my Mars in Virgo atm. Which is probably why I haven’t eaten my body weight in carbs yet… 😯

I know… excuses, excuses.

Don’t tell venus a-go-go… 😯

Venus a-go-go
Venus a-go-go

Join us!!! Joooooiiiinnn ussssss…
*hands you a large bowl of pasta and some wine*
* maybe some chocolate cake to follow*

Meowmix
Meowmix

Is the chocolate cake frosted? I love chocolate frosting… Maybe I will go and buy a tub of Betty Crocker…

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯

AHAH!

You can’t lure me with pasta, wine or chocolate cake! 😯

Now if you had ‘not burgers’, beer* and a carob cake… I am YOURS! 😯

* Beer is NOT A CARB… 😯 … Stop it!

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯

*sips hot water*

😯

Venus a-go-go
Venus a-go-go

Beer, not burger, gormet cheese and cracker with prunes dipped in chocolate and finally a hot milo.

Tempted?

Venus a-go-go
Venus a-go-go

I should point out I am saying this after I had porridge for breakfast, arancini with salad and relish for lunch and polishing off a dinner of minestrone entree with gluten free fish cakes on a sweet potato mash and a whole whack of baby spinach.
I feel a little weighed down.

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯

*runs to the car*

😯

Pegasus
Pegasus

Beer is a tonic Barista, a marvellous relaxant and appetite stimulant.
Two beers result in convivial conversations,. it’s a secret some journalists use to get a story from peeps
as it lubricates the tongue. It’s fun watching THAT in a action.
(Insert googley-eyed wink.)

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯

😯

Love it pegs! 😯

fallen angel
fallen angel

Read this after communing with a hunk of bread (sadly not the other hunk) and a tiny bite sized bit o’ brie. I’m dusting crumbs off sheepishly.. I’d like to blame Jupiter Void in Taurus but seriously, I was carb-distracting myself from a Flux Headache (side effect of not knowing precisely where my life is going).

Knowing I’ll be subsisting on air next week will be a lovely antidote to all this twitchy pseudo-oral food as sex energy.

Pi
Pi

Flux Headache. genius term. am adopting, vis a vis Long Term Flux in this corner of Planet Pisces xx

Meowmix
Meowmix

Yum! I had Lord of the Fries for lunch today cause I was really craving it and it was SO GOOD! Might make curried lentils for dinner tonight. Bring on the carbs!

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

And speaking of wardrobes/impulse buys, it’s Never true that standard leggings will fit a woman up to 6′ tall, no matter what the package says. I was duped today– again. Damn you, rx Venus, and your half-legged leggings!

gemyogi
gemyogi

Have been in a carb coma for the past couple of weeks… but have always loved carbs, especially potatoes in any shape or form. Been lunching on fried rice, pasta, noodles with a side of vegies and hot chips on top. Mmmmm, carbs!!

evarae
evarae

As a Paleo Capricorn Crossfit Crossfit fanatic, I find offense. However, today’s diet was a roast beef po’boy (a New Orleans’ style sandwich) with onion rings & french fries – on the sandwich, not as a side.
And dinner? 4 glasses too many of wine, fried oysters, crab cakes & a cheese/bacon/mushroom burger. Wow.

But I’m glad to know that it’s not me. I can at least lay this dietary lapse on Jupiter et al.
Even admitting this is making me twitchy…

Is it Ainslie or not?
Is it Ainslie or not?

The famous one with hot chick apps?

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

So this means I will eat chocolate chip cookies more than I already do. Theres this place in NYC its called Insomnia Cookies.. They are Not organic but are like the only thing I give my self free range with, there more to do with reminding me of my mom than anything. But these guys are open till 2 am weeknights and 3 am weekdays. there so soft and have big tasty chunks. I have never been able to find my moms banana bread though. 🙁 My sister lost her cookbook. Starbucks comes close but I can taste lemon in… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

I would hate to eat anything that reminded me of my AquaMa’s cooking.

I used to eat at everyone else’s home as a kid, and have fond memories of other people’s mother’s signature dishes.

Do you cook at home yourself? I’m sure you could experiment til you get that recipe right. Mind you, if it’s a mom thing it’s probably nicer to be served 🙂

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

Well i have moon in the 4th with my mom food was tye only uncomplicated thing from her, that and crocheing. They were like therapy for her, I do cook, but not that elaborately. My kitchen is pretty small, um. But a little swcret my sister lost that along with my baby book, that had my first haircut, my first bar of soap i bit into, my firat gift i ever gave my mom, all my moms beautiful drawings of me, or but guess what libra got her baby book, Libra got her baby drawing. All i got was a… Read more »

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

I should clarify after my moms death my sister was to pick up said items, she didnt get my stuff or the cookbooks, she didnt get along with my mom at all. So she lazily collected things…

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Oh doll i’m sorry to hear it. I have some but circumstances ate up much of my childhood as well. It’s like one sis and i didn’t really exist, while the younger ones (adults now) have the house filled with their photos, drawings, sculpture, some even framed. Our sad story is not talked about, and for many years i was told i imagined or exaggerated it. It’s taken heaps to stay loving and forgiving. But i didn’t end up leaving them… it’s taken years and years for healing to even begin, but i’m so proud of us. My heart goes… Read more »

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

Aww thanks millie…. Its ok u dont have to fight my sister i learend a few years back librans are not the most empathetic, it would have took her thinking about how i would feel if she didnt get mine as well, i was already back at work in NYC or id lose my job and she naturally had space so, dunno. But she is more evolved now, she has a piscean moon and a cancer ascendant she needs to use, has been using a little more often. Yea and the dynamics of being born when the relationship is good,… Read more »

Aqualeoscorpmn
Aqualeoscorpmn

Sorry nep sagi in the 5th
And a BIG internet )))HuG((( back at you.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

🙂 xx

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

How peculiar! Bod freaks out on sugar so much i only recently reintroduced it to fruit, and i hated bread and don’t like milk. i am currently eating a croissant slathered in raspberry jam, and bought some milk to make pancakes later on. And some dark dark chocolate. I also bought pears but only because i saw this groovy wintery syrupy cooked fruit dish on the cover of gourmet trav at the orthodontist’s, and was inspired to make a dish i could have with icecream. (I used to hate icecream.) Guess it’ll be the last day i go the supermarket… Read more »

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

I’m always followed around by males in supermarkets too. It’s so weird, they follow me around like puppy dogs and bump trolleys but they never actually try to crack on to me (exception is the Down’s Syndrome kid that works in the fruit department who tried to chat me up by cracking a few funnies and telling me I look just like his dream woman Ella Hooper – which I don’t).

I get more male attention in supermarkets than anywhere else I go. I’m blaming my natal Venus square Ceres for this phenomenon!

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Natal Venus sq Ceres!!! Guess what? Me too. I think you’re onto something! My Ceres is in the 6th conjunct Saturn in Taurus. Will you name your shopping complex after your grav name? I would love to be able to say, “Just popping down to Saturnalien’s for some eggs!” People often ask where i picked up some treat i’m sharing and if i say a big brand shop they look at me as though it’s not possible. I’ll bet they’ll believe i shop at Saturnalien’s though! Perhaps you could put up No Tailgating signs in each aisle.

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Freaky… I’ll have to start interrogating everyone with a Venus/Ceres square about their supermarket experiences now!

Faturnalien might be more appropriate name…

Yes to ‘No Tailgating’ signs.

toomuchgoingon
toomuchgoingon

Another timely post MM – I’ve piled on a few pounds in the past few weeks, which coincided with Jupiter hitting my natal degree exact last week. Carbs and couches have been a bit of a theme lately.

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Oh, that explains my recent carb coma… I’m another Paleo Capricorn fitness freak (Martial Arts not Crossfit for me though) who recently chowed down on a massive dish of stovie potatoes (Scottish recipe with enough calories to survive on for about 3 months), & an entire cake of Green & Blacks White Chocolate for dessert. The chocolate was way too sickly sweet to actually be enjoyable but I wasn’t about to let that stop me… I’m back on the protein and good carbs now but getting off the couch is a fuqing mission. Fortunately I have a light schedule this… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

That’s all right, Saturnalien, if you end up as a small shopping complex i’ll come and do my grocery shopping at you. I’m sure you’ll have marvellous provisions 😀

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

😀 Excellent! I can now sleep sound with the knowledge that future success as a small shopping complex is assured! I don’t even mind if you wear leggings to shop! I draw the line at Crocs though…

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

Pffft.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte

Good christ darling no, i AM a pisces w leo mc. It took great fortitude and experimentalism to do leggings today but i hope it was with some panache. Crocs (of Sh* )… the very idea! Besides how do you gallop in them?

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

Sorry Croc lovers but my Mars in Pisces footwear fetish department considers Crocs to be good for only two things; 1) contraception and 2) throwing at evil politicians.

Ms.
Ms.

I’ll happily walk my stilettos down your aisle to the fruit and vege section

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

“like” xxx

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

As a Pisces rising & with Neptune conjunct my True Node, good footwear (ie, healthy) and happy feet are a *must*. I know Crocs aren’t pretty, but wearing them is ped gold! My days of making my feet martyrs for fashion are over. As above, so below.

I pray Neptune for your feet’s liberation! Especially when charging down supermarket isles. 😉

Pegasus
Pegasus

What are these crocs i hear about? I KNOW they aren’t made of crocodile skin. Can you walk on water in them?
Are they a doc martin replacement? A generational thing?
No answer necessary.

Anonymous
Anonymous

Pegs, was that you with the exploding baking thing?! I didn’t know it was possible! Gas or electric?

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

(’twas me, above) 😛

Pegasus
Pegasus

I set the oven on fire
doing the Xmas duck but it didn’t explode I did!
I burn out sauce-pans
constantly.

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

At least you weren’t wearing Croc’s at the time, they might have melted and be stuck to your feet forever!

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

You sound just like my Croc wearing mum! 😛 She’s like “oh they’re so comfortable, just try one on” and I’m like “I’d rather run in bare feet over cut glass than stick my foot in one of those things”

All my shoes are extremely comfortable (even the 7inch heels) so my feet are never martyrs to fashion even if they look that way!

Ms.
Ms.

our feet are sisters

Saturnalien
Saturnalien

I bet you can run in stilettos too…

current
current

HA!

Just made a bowl of pasta (vis a vis this pic) and logged in

Carbosexual match!

anonymous
anonymous

Oh my, oh my! I hadn’t read this one until late today. No wonder I stuffed my face like a little (?) piglet! Oh, and such delightful carbs they were! I just wanted to EAT!!!! SO unlike me to go off like this.
You are simply bril! Next time I will take your advice EARLY in the day. :0)

Anonymous
Anonymous

that looks so delish, I want it now!

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

You call it carbosexuality, I call it dinner.

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

You call it a flip-out, I call it restoring order. LOL

Electric Eel Libran
Electric Eel Libran

So true! Taurus rules my 6th house so I am natively a Carbosexual! 😀 What’s life without potatoes? boring!

Pi
Pi

You call it a pasta binge, I call it restoring serotonin levels and boosting skin radiance

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

YOU are to be my new trainer

Anonymous
Anonymous

a pisces trainer for a Leo, that’s the stuff of TV comedies 😉

plutonic gem
plutonic gem

carbo sexual? I call it
ART

and Im terribly inspired, just made two loaves of sourdough rye bread by hand, one is a fruit loaf with spices and sultanas….

you should see and taste the brown crust…. lush….

Scorporation, Inc.
Scorporation, Inc.

I’m on my way. With wine and cheese.

amanda
amanda

i call it tempura salmon overdose and too much fry ups

amanda
amanda

i call the above photo a mistake

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