You know how your horoscope said optimism about LOVE for Leos? I was all, naw, no way, not possible, and actually, I’m fine with that because I’m into being self-absorbed and pursuing what I want these days. I think it’s really fun and nice to spend a day at the spa with my girlfriends or home with a book or runningyogarunningyoga. So no love, no thank you, all set, pass that energy to someone else.
My ex said he’s sorry this weekend. This might not seem significant, but we split in May/June/July (How does one even determine the date of a split when it’s drawn out? Date it was proposed? Date I moved out? We slowed down the paperwork because this is India and he’s on my visa, so I didn’t want him to get kicked out of the country, so there’s no Legal Date- at least not yet.).
For me, I’m all, “What? Sorry? Wait- what does that mean?” because that’s the first time he’s apologized. I realize this makes him sound like the Biggest Jerkface In The World that only now did he say he was sorry, but for someone who didn’t even DO anything wrong (zero infidelities or lies- we both consider them beneath us- the issue is his depression, his manhood, his self-expression, his being, actually everything except the marriage- and that’s what he’s starting to realize), this is huge.
And it’s been the most fucked up thing ever because we’re both semi-public figures here so everything we do gets repeated and reported and we’re friends with all the magazine editors, who have told me that people tell THEM and want to know why it’s not in the columns and the editors are all like, “Gossip columns are not for people like X and X. Eff off.”
No names because everyone I know is reading your blog right now. Like, everyone. Ambassador X is reading your blog. Everyone is all over that thing and they’ll all know it’s me because it’s become a Top Conversation Piece because I’m the person coordinating half the parties.
Anyway, we’re not together, but for the first time in eight months, it’s nice. We’ve had this weird relationship since then of Mega Fuqwit Angst and Starting Businesses together (Yes, I realize they don’t go hand in hand, but our combined business acumen is wicked because we fill in the other’s weak spots, so we took a break from the biz end of the relationship and have started it up again recently- restaurants, apps, social clubs, websites, all of it- super fun and now that I know I’m a Leo, Super Leonine, rarr).
Oh fuq me, Mystic. I don’t know what will happen, but listen, I was as cynical as they come. I mean, if I can’t hack it in a relationship with the person in the world who I’m most compatible/in love with, then maybe No Relationships for me.
So all this is weird.
Also also I don’t know what it’s like in Australia, but there’s a funky green ooze vapor all over everything in Mumbai right now. My best friend also commented on it, like everything in the scenery is OFF for a few days, like those scenes in “Inception” where the setting isn’t quite right and then everyone is looking at you as if you’re in a Camus novel. We both went to temple to burn incense and paper money and cleanse the ghosts. I don’t know if it worked because I got ash in my right eye and it still hurts.
Anyway, A+ to you for super spot-on scarily accurate horoscopes. Thanks for all you do. XO
The Leo Diplomat”
Truly i’m blessed with the most fascinating readers, commenters & um, communicators. I’m taking “everyone is looking at your as if you’re in a Camus novel” and incorporating it into a horoscope. I believe it would be an appropriate statement for a slightly off Saturn-Mercury aspect, but with a Piscean Moon as the backdrop. And you’re already a Water sign. Something like that. As for the Leo love regeneration; believe it.