Soulmate Dry Your Eyes

Two Of Cups Surreal ArtKathleen Lolley

“A soulmate is an ongoing connection with another individual that the soul picks up again in various times and places over lifetimes. We are attracted to another person at a soul level not just because that person is our unique complement, but because by being with that individual, we are somehow provided with an impetus to become whole ourselves.”

Edgar Cayce

So who believes in soulmating?

And in the Cayce version specifically, that you’re sort of destined to meet some people and it’s like they hit your spiritual reset button, you become more YOU by dint of meeting them.

I’m not so sure we necessarily end up with these people though. Some say this kind of connection is too high-vibed to survive the business end of relationships, the dealing with in-laws, joint finances, imperfection of everyday life et al.

Astrologically, if there is such a thing as a soulmate pointer, you’re looking at strong Venus-Pluto synastry, aspects to one another’s Nodes and Eros-Psyche links.  But i think you also check out the time you meet people. Pluto over South Node (past) is massive, that’s like the people walking into the room altering your life forever big deal kind of spiritual encounter whammy.

There is also a theory that you have your soul tribe, so you meet some people and feel a sense of instant recognition or kinship. Others evoke instant enmity or a desire to be as far away from them as possible.

Past life baggage? Qi conflict?  Something to do with pheromones? Neural pathways of the brain? Thoughts?

* Hey if you want more insights into your South Node and interpreting it, check out the genius entries in the It’s YOUR Past Life Competition.

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105 thoughts on “Soulmate Dry Your Eyes

  1. ha ha, I was just thinking of soulmating yesterday or the day before that. Yes I believe in soulmating, yes I have had/currently have soulmates, and yes it’s complicated and have had a building impact that’s altered things/ME for the better.
    End of Neptune in Aqua era.

      • soulmates can make you or break you, if they break you, you rebuild yourself stronger than you were before. a real soulamate knows your weaknesses thats why they can break you and they also know how to make u smile like no other….

  2. aye – in my experience, the spiritual reset button is most apt description.
    am not good at reading charts together.
    His north node is @ 12 aries. My venus is @ 20 aries.
    His venus is @ 10 leo. My pluto is 17 libra.
    His pluto is 5 degrees off my north node.
    Am i completely off track lol??!

    • hey firey how are you? If you click on the synastry chart in and then click on the link that lets you download the additional charts it gives you a table in pdf format which might be easier for you to read than the round chart. Seems like you have a loose venus to his north node conjunction and his pluto is conjunct your north node.

      • thanking you whatevs … and how are you??

        ironically enough, i think healthier if i now avoid checking this synastry stuff; it has all gone very strange with whom i compare charts!! saturn opposite venus at present. it’s been very tough. but all in the name of clarity and finding the true path so i walk with a relatively straight spine. bless yoga 🙂

  3. I’m afraid I don’t believe in ‘a’ soul mate. I know women crave them, search for them, pray for them but in the end I believe it’s a romantic notion that blinds people to their true life partners. If soul is a part of spirit then there can be no exclusivity, we are all soul mates. A life partner is a different concept, 2 people who find each other in the madness, and help each other overcome. I found my life partner 15 years ago and it just gets stronger, but she is not my soul mate, she’s my best friend. I look for soul mateship in every one I meet, why should I stop at one ?

    • I agree Davey. A ultimate soul mate, no. But several that you learn with/thru from, yes. I mean there has to be some glue there with certain particular people from the get go.

      My relationship with the Pisces spanned 11 yrs. It was hell but it transformed me in deep energetic ways I could never even attempt on a forum except just superfically.

      His Venus/SN on my Moon/Psyche 8th. He was definitely a soul mate.

        • It you are talking to me, you do if there is a purpose and the purpose has not been fulfilled. It’s not over till it’s over..That’s karma for you.

          • Bluesky, if that is you as you seemed to have indicated below, I hadn’t known if it was some smart arse or what so my rather “dry” response.


    • I’m the same. Not into one fated love destiny (cue disney theme music). Had true loves already, more to come

      • snap!

        I don’t believe in them cos they don’t fir with my idea of reality but I know some men and women crave them. It’s apparently a human condition. Searching for the lost other.

    • I agree. Why the world hangs everything on them is why people live in so much angst! These Pluto Venus contacts push us for growth, but the happily ever after story does not exist at this level of reality! The ultimate relationship is the one you have with God or however you want to call it that. If we dropped the fairy tale myth, we’d take the pressure offa our partners and actually be happier.

  4. Ahhh. Not my thing. Too intense for my Gem Venus lol Interesting though that my Gem Venus conjunct North Node is opposite the Cap’s Sagg Venus. Makes her Venus conjunct my South Node. And my Neptune. Dillusional belief that we’re meant to be? lol

  5. Yeah I believe in it. I have had a very intense experience with one particular person for a long, long time. Exact Venus-Pluto conjunction, my Venus so I’m the one who feels it the most. We have all the astrological soulmating markers, all kinds of Venus, Pluto, Vertex, NN, SN weirding plus general overall compatibility but we’re not together so there you go.

    I think often it’s a combination of various things, the whole feeling fated, love at first sight, sense of familiarity thing. I had it a few months ago where I met this man and had some kind of instant recognition/feeling of love, it hasn’t gone away either. Part of me feels like it’s absurd to think that you can love someone instantly and it’s just lust but I also know how strongly this feels like love I’ve experienced before, so who knows. I do know he has some pretty awesome pheremones so maybe that’s it! Astro wise I don’t have a day, let alone a time so I can’t do a full work up which is frustrating because I’d love to know what’s made me so irrational.

    • apparently that ‘i’ve known them before’ feeling is often south node and in the long run its not future focused but past focused – that is why people are sometime attracted to someone with whom they felt ‘past lives’ and old connections, but in the long run it doesn’t help them grow (the way a north node relationship will)

      • Yes! I have a Sun/SN conjunction with my sister and her SN is conjunct my Sun. I knew her the minute I saw her, we’ve always been close, easy and meant to be sisters despite a large age gap. I have NN in Leo and often end up with Leo men who do just that, make me go forward in some way, whatever it might be.

        This new guy has the nodal axis in signs I don’t have anywhere, only intercepted houses. I’m not sure what the astro connection is with him at all, that’s why I’m going for pheremones 😉

  6. We make contracts with other Souls to work on various things before we are born. Not everyone is working on the same stuff.

    My marriage of 16 yrs was not “fated” in the same intensity way as the relationship mentioned above. Husband had Jupiter conjunct my SN/PoF/Sun. Jupiter rules my 7th. Pretty clear cut…not all the murky stuff..

    Think we are not always meant to end up with said “soul-mate” and like Charley mentions and Mystic, because the ~working at cross purposes is like the catalyst~….Everything that you thought you wanted or needed is not going to be what you end up getting…

    • Exactly Sweets. I think that its even more random than that. Its like we carry stuff and put it on other people. They help us play out our own drama. It could be anyone, but ‘someone’ is going to help you get that particular message. Embuing them with special powers of exclusivity is just unnecessary ?

      Even putting it on someone “you are my one and only soul mate” thats a heavy burden to start with. I can’t see it being a very effective belief in real life ? That one person can contain it ?

      • My ex had Venus in Pisces & was all about the ‘soul mate’ thing, but in retrospect a lot of it was about finding someone to fix the parts of him that were broken. Yes, it’s a burden, because there’s such a LONG way to fall once you’re ‘the soulmate’. By the end, every bad choice he’s ever made was my fault. Sigh.

      • Did I mention Toro I’m meeting up with on Wed has his Point of Fortune/Vertex on my NN as well as his Libran Moon.

        You KNOW a girl can’t let that situation pass by without further investigation…

        And I thought about it previously. I give men credit for intuitively ~ knowing something~ as well. Why do people approach a certain person, etc.

        Alot happens on the subconscious level. I wasn’t looking for anyone that day at all. Hadn’t been “looking” for six years.

      • Exacto Sweetpea, I don’t believe that ‘soulmate’ equals love to be honest, I think it’s a term that’s massively over used. My other, probably most truest soulmate is a woman, we’re born 8 days apart, she truly, absolutely has the ability to make me feel whole in the way Plato describes in the Symposium. Total twin flame.

  7. I believe in soul-mating for sure. Maybe it’s easy for me to believe in it because I so rarely connect with people on a deep, deep level, that when I do it really is something special and of the “soul mate” variety. And I even feel like applying this term to my best friend, whom I wouldn’t mate with on a sexual level but I have mated with on a purely spiritual/mental plane.

    I think the idea of soul mates is different for everyone. There are those who will have multiple souls they’ve mated with/will mate with, and those who genuinely only feel it with a special one. Or maybe it’d be better to say that we soul-mate with different people at different levels/intensities. This person and that person and whatever person really speaks to this part or that part or whatever part of my soul, but this one over here is the one who really gets me going. Not to say that the other peeps aren’t mating with my soul, just that one of them rules the roost, so to speak.

      • Haha, as an experienced practitioner of the phenomenon! It’s like you’re soul-mating with a few people at once, but there is that one whom you’d really like to mate with for a lifetime. It’s more in the sense that you want to be with them, feel them (beyond even physical touch), experience them, are happy to wake up with them, whereas the others are more like, you’re beautiful and intriguing and I’d like to be awesome with you, sharing experiences and ideas, etc.

        They sound the same and in a way are the same, yet that one is just… The only way I can think to describe it is that the connection is taut. Strum it and it vibrates the core of your very being. The other connections feel more relaxed in comparison. I’ve found that I can love more than one person on a deep level, but at the end of the day my thoughts rest on one. That’s how I know who is the most important.

  8. Soul mates suck the marrow from your bones until your eyes bleed – for god sakes don’t wish for one … they come along and harass you anyways.

    Focus on mutual interests, loyalty and kindness. Foster good communication. Recognise that you need others and others need you. Cast a broad net … there are plenty of people out there travelling in a similar direction and would love a travelling companion. It doesn’t need to be romantic or sexual, although it can be.

    • I should possibly qualify that statement ….

      after years of investigation I’ve come to the conclusion that all is a void. We are born from one and we return to it. Meaning, soul mates, spirituality, god etc etc are a human construct … the ego’s attempt at creating importance (especially self importance), when none actually exists. I used to find that idea noxious and uncomfortable, now I find it comforting. Soz to those who might be offended by that.

    • “suck the marrow from your bones until your eyes bleed” !!!! funny–my thoughts exactly.

      Although that might be one category of “soulmate” Another is that tribe of people that feel just right or the friend who feels just right.

      Those people who are like overpowered magnets are fascinating but scary and usually difficult to evade and leave a permanent chain from my solar plexus to theirs (actually I don’t know what they feel, but certain people move through my life and I “can’t get rid of them”)

      • deep sigh….clinking of chain in the background.
        I know mine feels the same. But we can’t be together.

        • Frisson is the name I call my karmic connection as the danger/excitement I feel whenever we are around each other is palpable (even after 2 years). Dreams and synastry confirm we’ve shared other lives together. From the minute we met he has been a guiding light to me, opening my eyes to life and helping me draw stength to leave my troubled marriage. We share a telepathic link and my solar plexus aches when we haven’t seen each other for a while. We have never discussed our situation, have never come close to it yet there is an intimacy between us that transcends anything i have ever known. It is what it is, but it is beautiful. His match started my fire and journey into becoming a deeper, more spiritual person.

      • haha yes … when I first got an astrologer to look over my chart I was 16 and she stated clearly my life’s journey was to balance an inner conflict between the material and spiritual realms. She also looked at my relationship sectors and I could tell she was trying to be terribly tactful and not implant unnecessarily negative seeds. Now I just look at my 5th and 7th houses and get what she was trying to be diplomatic about! lol … significant sexual connections for me are like a near death experience (thanks Pluto), whereas significant friend connections often resonate with a brother/sister vibe (Uranus/Moon). It appears that never the twain shall meet.

  9. Mystic or astro fiends, can you please clarify the specific transits?

    When you say “Pluto over South Node (past) is massive” do you mean a conjunction, or can it be an opposition or a square?

      • agreed – if you meet someone and at that time, pluto is transiting your natal south node, then mystic is saying that is significant.

        • Excuse me all of the above :-).. how can i find my south node…? And if i find the scope in it should I compare it to his south node to see if we are compatible.. Or where do i look? .

          I have met two soul mates – and i know this because our souls talk to each other more then our mouths…rare for a gemini maybe normal for my venus in cancer… and when I get all gemini and try and explain or interpret my feealings (in slight fear of that feeling) they already know my feeling and they way they translate and calm my souls fear of feeling…is in touch with my soul, heart and brain .. and i feel complete and whole… I do agree with cacye.. very much xx

          • I think i Get it… so if we have
            Moon conjunct venus in the 6th house
            Moon Conjunct Pluto
            Pluto opposition ascendent
            neptune sextile pluto…

            means….. deep?

        • ok, Conjunction it is. Cheers. 🙂
          I had that back in ’98 when Pluto was in Sagg. My natal south node is in Sagg. No longer with the ‘soul mate’

  10. Like Carl Jung said, “I don’t need belief. I have experience.” I am incapable of “believing” a lot of what I’ve experienced. But experience wins.

    I prefer the term “soul connection” to soulmates because “mate” implies you’re meant to be in a relationship with that person and a romantic relationship is just NEVER the point in a connection that deep, which is why the connection turns you inside out and makes you sort out old crap/ideas. I have a soul connection and its a total pain-in-the-ass, like a chronic condition I have to Saturn the hell out of. Its magical and real and pushes all my buttons and makes me transform and all that and I don’t have any “real” contact with that person (we lost touch for 20 years and I never stopped seeing him like a ghost). He’s my imaginary friend, sort of, except in real life he’s kind of an asshole. I don’t know his birth time, but we have a Neptune-Saturn opposition in our composite chart.

    Seriously, this soul connection thing changed my life. When we got back in touch, I had visions, psychic powers awakening, I had to work with a metaphysician, it nearly took over my life. I thought I was going insane. It isn’t like love doesn’t always carry those feelings, but in soul connections, its a matter of intensity. Suddenly, I HAD to open the channel of emotion to a deeper intensity – I felt like the angry face of Buddha was coming out of me and the Goddess Kali was taking over my personhood for a bit. It hurt. It takes time and adjustment to allow that to happen – it kills your ego, which is a spiritual path. Its a loss of control. Its a total loss of isolation. And there’s the romantic myth confronted, right? NO ONE is isolated. We are a collective. That doesn’t mean you get to own someone romantically and live like a prince/princess.

    Anyway, I cut off regular communication with this guy after we reconnected because he doesn’t own his crap or his power. I still have the connection to him. It takes a lot of discipline to manage because the connection is always there and always active. I can pretend its not and pretend I hate the guy BUT in doing so I cut off access to my own intuition. So its forced me to live in a multi-layered, multi-dimensional reality which is actually more authentic and closer to Truth. I have no choice but to surrender my need to predict/control situations. And I’ve found the fine line creative power and ego control. Its hard to keep the balance so I have new spiritual practices in place because of this connection. Energy work type stuff. No beliefs for me. Beliefs are bullshit opinion.

    Absolutely NO romance here. First house Saturn transist. Soulmating: yes.

    • “chronic condition” seems funny but true. It will not go away and learning to live with this type of “experience” pulls a more intense intuitiveness out of you, like cutting it off means denying parts of yourself exist.

      • Absolutely! I’ve tried everything I can think of to cut it off and it just isn’t possible (without being low Qi). So, I have to accept its there and realize that even if it exists, it isn’t in control of me. It doesn’t MEAN anything. It isn’t predictive (as in we are so connected we must invest in real estate together). All the romantic ideas about soulmates make me frustrated because its not the reality. Its never just about getting what (it is you think) you want from someone else. Its about being healed and whole independent of anyone else.

        • Hey 12hV feel for you as you share your experience with us and fantastic effort to deal with it.I know this rollercoaster ride of struggle and peace and struggle and final surrender.
          I’m not quite at your stage yet but I know when I did give up the struggle peace flooded in.
          We have eros/psyche connection in scorpio (of course lol) as if it isn’t intense enough. It is about truth and healing yourself as you say. you’ve got me pondering but… back to work. Saturn girl sit beside me and don’t leave.

          • Thanks for the note. Its so hard to deal with because nothing comes with hard facts but I know I’m super-sane. Soulmating is kicking my ass right now. I feel like something will make or break this week. At one point a few years ago, I had this conversation with the Universe and I said I would give anything up but him (soulmate). Last night, I got a note from him and he’s in a really bad place. I have nothing reassuring to say, you know? Time to man-up and deal with it! And I went to bed realizing I may lose him to the darkness. At the same time, its impossible because he’s part of me and I’m not going down like that – I chose light – no matter what he does. I realized how far I’ve come in healing. I never thought I’d be able to say “I’m not holding on here! I let it go! I stand in my truth!” Its rough, but there you have it. We don’t get to pick what we are. We don’t get to decide what we are worth. We get to speak our truth and take our lumps. I’m thankful that there are people who can relate to that struggle.

    • You have just described exactly what’s happened to me. Precisely. Except that it’s been two months of this insanity, not 20 years. My compassion goes out to you, Virgo in 12th…

      • Phoenix – We lost touch for a longtime. I was married for 11 years to someone else. It wasn’t 20 straight years of pain and suffering. I didn’t know he was my soulmate until we reconnected and I got super-psychic visions and crazy shit. That’s been a few years now. My soulmates not doing his work, but I’ve Saturned up and gotten stronger. I worked with this energy guy. He wrote a book on soul mates. He’s tough, but if you get stuck this man knows what you need to do to make it through. Always put your own healing first.

  11. Not entirely sold on “soul mate” despite my soul urges but I guess I am in direct hypocrisy

    Current friend has mega thwack of Nodes (his asc my NN, my venusneptune his NN- exact) neptune exact my moon, sun trine moon both parties.

    south nodes, yes the horror. I try to avoid early pisces for that fact. South node in the 8th.. HAD horror so good so bad with a pisces when pluto was exact on my venus. scary.

  12. not fan of Karma or past life as I don’t see any purpose of it..Astrology itself explains alot of what we feel to say about past life, which is not about past life.

    It seems if Sun has aspect to Node, they tends to feel more destiny or fate. My pals has Sun -NN-Juno..etc. so, NN and Juno played alot part in the relationship.

  13. I believe in soulmate tribes. I’ve a few times had a sense of instinctive recognition with someone and thought exactly that: “this is a person from my tribe.” I have lots of friends who aren’t from my tribe, but when I meet someone who is, there’s an underlying sense of understanding that goes beyond words.

    I don’t think soulmates are necessarily romantic partners – you can have a soulmate who is a friend. I think it would be amazing and overwhelming to have a soulmate who is also a romantic partner – it almost scares me to imagine the intensity of that connection, but I’ve been longing for it my whole life. (How very Libran of me.)

    (Libra Sun/Gemini Rising/Aries Moon.)

  14. I believe in reincarnation so I believe people who knew each other in past life times can find each other. Not sure about soul mates.

    But I’m pretty sure Plato was the one who “originally” came up with the idea, and that it’s “soul mate” because the two people are halves of a whole soul. In my mythology class my teacher talked about it, Plato/the Greeks idea was that you wanted to be as close to your soul mate as possible, so probably romantic relationship.

    I don’t agree with the idea of actively expecting/searching for a “soul mate”. It sets up people’s expectations way too high and ends up with relationships that go horribly wrong because on person or the other expects the other person to completely understand them, like they could read their mind or something. I think that’s why most “modern” countries have high divorce rates and such.

  15. If we indeed come and go from the Void, why does the Void exist? Could it be one’s personal hell?

    If you don’t experience something, then just shut up. If you don’t experience death and return to tell the tale, please go through life like the rest and make up stories that will or won’t scare you – but don’t send these tall tales out as gospel, okay?

    As for soul mates, everything you do, everyone you meet, every being you harm, every load you lighten impacts your soul, mate!

    Remember, mercy is in short supply on this hellplanet. Better to be safe than sorry.

    • ermmm … I said it was from my personal investigations and experience, initially coming from a place of open mindedness to whatever possibilities exist, exploring a multitude of spiritual philosophies and practices, and then arriving at my own conclusions that make sense to me. I’m not saying it’s gospel or that anyone has to subscribe to the same view. Like I said, I find the void comforting not scary – obviously it confronts you otherwise you wouldn’t bother telling me to shut up … lol

      “As for soul mates, everything you do, everyone you meet, every being you harm, every load you lighten impacts your soul, mate!”

      If you truly believe that then I feel sorry for you – what a burden to carry through life! I try to remain conscious of my actions towards others but will make mistakes regardless. I don’t consider my earthy flawed self to be that important or powerful as to impact a so-called “eternal soul” – surely it’s made of tougher stuff than that if it does in fact exist? If not then it really needs to get its head read for putting a limited, finite, confused human being in charge of its well being. *chuckles*

      I don’t see my cat running around freaking out about her eternal soul … she just sleeps, eats, meows, demands regular cuddles, chases the odd lizard, then goes back to sleep.

  16. Cayce…a fellow soul with the sun in the 8th!
    I definately believe in soul mates, perhpas it has something to do with me being super plutonic and venus/pluto opposition. When i met my current boyfriend, we had an instant connection that felt really easy and comfortable. but hes so different than me, and challenges me every day to be a whole person. i think everybody has a soul mate.

  17. yes I believe….
    In soulmating, and in soul tribes. But in one true soulmate, my other half….not so much.
    I have instant recognition with them.
    It is not always pretty. Different levels, different kinds of relationships.

    scorpio exboyfriend and I, we were like freight trains….in my life there is no one I feel so certain and strongly about that we have been together before and shall be again. But it was hard, and ugly, along with the beauty. I had my saturn tranisit my natal pluto while together and it was hell. Together, we faced demons we didn’t even know we had, but in the end, the shadow had grown too long. I miss him, but can’t breath without him.
    his Snode conjunct my moon. His vertex conjunct my Snode. My Nnode conjunct his mercury, venus, and neptune. My venus semisextile his pluto.

    muli virgo and I …realized yesterday he is more than a fling, but I knew that already(instant recognition). His Snode conjunct my pluto, My Nnode conjunct his moon, his Eros opposite my psyche(gulp)

    my twins and I ….my sun conjunct their north nodes, her asc conjunct my vertex.

  18. I’m a believer, based on my current situation, and the astro Mystic outlined works: between our charts we have, within 2-degree orbs or closer:

    Moon-North Node conj
    Pluto-Eros conj
    Psyche-Venus conj
    Pluto-Moon trine
    Pluto-Moon sextile

    (… plus a moon-Neptune conj, for extra spiritual/emotional bedazzlement, and the Pluto-Eros conjunct is opposed to both our Chirons, ow)

    It is NOT a primarily sexual relationship, though it has included (a small amount of) sex, and both of us commented on this right at the start. (We have no Venus-Mars action to speak of, apart from them being in somewhat ‘friendly’ signs.)

    Yet it has been one of the most powerful and enduring relationships of my life. Truly, I regard this person as a spiritual counterpart and teacher, and relating with him has been massively transformative. I’ve spent more time with him cumulatively than any person apart from my ex-husband. I had to accept over time that we were not meant to marry, have children, etc., despite the depth and emotional power of the connection. It hasn’t been an easy relationship, but its gravity is unmistakable.

  19. Time is a layer. We live in cycles, not linear timelines. Astrology helps describe the cycles.

    Now excuse me while I rant on soulmates…its challenging me now and sometimes it feels good to share. I like to tell three people about everything. Just to triangulate. And most of this stuff, its too bizare for conversation.

    I’m trying to help my soulmate out some family secrets/denial right now. Its the Scorp energy. It needs to happen. I caught some of his childhood memories like the flu. I saw/felt what it was like for him as a toddler to be at home alone with a drunk. I connected with is Mother after she passed away (drank herself to death) and it was then that I realized she was evil. She wanted him to believe he was the addict. And he’s nothing like her! Total lies and desire to control! I felt like a fool and I felt afraid because I didn’t know people could pass-away and not come to some realizations about truth. That was hard to learn. But that’s how karma works. We work it out in our LIFE. That’s the “power of now” – Saturn-up!

    Now, the soulconnection experiences are so strange on so many levels. One, that its possible at all, WTF? Two, little old me as a creepy psychic reading people? Crossing time? I’ve got some of our past life scenes. But the kid scene was the hardest for me to feel. Children don’t think like adults, they use their core energy. In the childhood scene of his, I was adult-me witnessing the situation plus I felt it as the child. Supposedly I was a bad-mommy in a past life. Not now. And how does the past-life story serve me in my life now? Not at all. But the act of compassion has enlarged my life in ways I can’t share in words. Good ways. Powerful ways.

    The point is surrendering to the fact that I don’t know everything. Again and again and again. And then owning and rocking what I know – sans regret.

    Its been months since I had that vision and I hoped not being in communication with him via email might help lessen the connection. But it hasn’t. It was really painful. Just this week, I felt the full force of the denial he’s been living in and how confused he was as a teen not knowing the difference between good and bad. Honestly, just being confused. And that feeling/compassion re-wrote the whole history of our relationship. Its a new frame – we never had a chance. Again. The connection is a constant state of “Oh! I see now!” and there’s always another layer, another healing.

    You know what I believe? Nothing. Who has room for belief when all that is going on, you know? Seriously threw my life to the ground for awhile, mid-life, mid-divorce. Now its just a part of my day-to-day – reliving someone else’s childhood memories. Ouch, yeah? But loving my own kid and knowing how much that hug is worth. Its enough to just recognize I’m sane. So in the end, all there is to day about it is zen things: like the Buddha quote “When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky”.

    Seriously, thank God or whatever Works for You whenever the spark hits you in life, because that’s where the rubber hits the road. Life.

  20. I had instant soul recognition with my new man….met him and it was electric. He touched me and I got goosebumps. We were talking about eloping and having babies after 1 week, but we’re being sane.
    I don’t see any major indications in our composite chart, but I don’t know how to check NN or SN either. Can anyone help with this?

    • NN is also called the Lunar Node or True Node, they should be easy to find if you know how to use an ephemeris? Or input your details into and check it there. The SN is the opposite sign, eg I have NN in Leo so my SN is Aqua!

    • Make sure you do the synastry chart, too (compares both charts together), not just the composite chart (calculates the “average” and blends the charts into one, forming the signature of the relationship itself).

  21. Yes to soulmates. One was a Pisces-Aqua Rising-Cancer moon who just pinged all over my chart the first day we met. Definitely love at first sight. Have never felt like I have with him. But we couldn’t live together, couldn’t date. But I still believe he was the most important man I’ve met in life, outside of my husband and dad.

    Hubby is also Pisces and Aqua rising, but with Aries moon. A soulmate on a different level. The Neptune in Aqua brought me two amazing men. Both fish, both teaching me incredible lessons about compassion, flow, and giving up control (I have south node in Cap). The more Cancerian (NN) I am, the less I want to control things. I love water men. We just mesh in ways I never have with fellow airy men.

  22. Met so many fake ones, I doubt I will recognize a true one if I ever meet that person.

    Now I believe soulmates are my friends who nourish me. Perhaps intensity is not as deep as the passage above suggests but nonetheless…

  23. I’m definitely down with the soul tribe ethos. It could be jupiter in my 11th but I seem to locate the most divine people in my life who become firm friends forever; I actually feel blessed in this aspect. I like to think of it as taking my ethos of Quality one step further and apply it to my friendships as well!

    Soul mate though, I agree with some of the comments up there. I think soul connection might be a good way to see it. The most transformative relationships I’ve had ranged from going down in flames while sending my soul / psyche back to the foundry for a meltdown and re-moulding, to gentle, loving, constructive/respectful friendships that have helped me grow. And the concept of a “The One” makes me laugh but perhaps it’s bitter laughter, we’ll see what life brings to the table..

    A whole lot of planets (well, venus-mars-jupiter) were transiting my Venus, SN, Chiron when I met the Amazing Pisces Scientist (they would also have been transiting his Mars and I think Venus). He blew my mind but that seemed to be be all at the time, He’s one of the reasons I’m closed for renovations.


  24. 😯

    Never really thought much about whether the concept of soul mates truly exists but I do feel that sometimes when I engage with people I sense something familiar about them, like I’ve known them forever!

    But then again, I am a gemini, so maybe I am unconsciously searching for my twin… 😯


  25. Love what Mr. Cayce says there, a Soul Mate often being a person who helps you find your true Self, not complement you. So they can be your scourge or your angel.

    My multi gem partner is all over my gemini asc and south node.
    We have come together in this life and others to support each other, I have seen this in hypnotic states.
    I have seen other friends too, my husband has had this intimate role successfully with me before though.

    The idea there is only one twin flame or true soul mate sounds a bit limiting, but in an infinite universe anything is possible, I don’t believe it’s necessarily true for all beings at all times.

  26. This is so true with current man. Find ourselves immersed in each other only to pull ourselves back into reality because we know we won’t really go anywhere. Shame. Be nice to explore it further. Our charts have the fateful links.

  27. Ugh…I want to comment here and then again I don’t. I have to go back and cite the recent Venus in Scorpio post. My rational mind is nodding along with the above comments that say there is no ONE soul-mate, that it just doesn’t make sense when you may meet many people in your life that could have a deep and meaningful impact. But I think if your “soul” has anything to do with it then it’s not something that your rational mind can explain or even define. I only know what I feel and that there is a deep, primal longing that I have trouble putting into words. Maybe it’s easier to believe in soul-mates because of all my Scorpio planets and because like Catsmeow said, it’s so rare that I connect on a deep level with anyone, that when you do come across someone that resonates as a soul-mate it’s like you can recognize a part of you in them and because of it there’s a kinship that can both lift you up and drag you down. Although mostly, it’s a sense of peace and understanding that I’ve gotten from them. I say them, but for me there’s only been one and although I hope for another, I have yet to find a connection that strong.

    I don’t think finding a soul-mate is like finding your other half though. Because to think that would mean that you were only half a soul to begin with, and that doesn’t seem right. Two circles linked together rather than two separate halves sounds better to me.

    As far as the astrology goes, my soulmate has a habit of showing up every two or two threes and then disappearing. We won’t ever be getting together in the longterm I don’t think, but he always pops up again just when I think I’ve seen the last of him. Not sure on the date when we first met, but I think 98 or 99. I’m Venus in Scorp, Pluto in Libra, South Node in Pisces. He’s Venus in Scorp, Pluto in Scorp and South Node in Libra. I’m sure that synastry says something significant, but I’ve never really gotten the hang of comparing two charts together. As always I welcome insights though. 😀

    • Well, personally I don’t think that soul mates have to be a bad thing, or a naive thing, or something to fear/reject. Although I’m fully aware of how emotionally exhausting AND traumatizing a soul-mating experience can be, I’d still rather have it like that than not at all. I genuinely love the intensity of it, however dangerous, and I am a Leo sun in the house of Saggo (9th) so ultimately I am an optimist. I’m realistic and know that it can be unpredictable, but I look on the bright side regardless. Once in love always in love, and life isn’t the same afterward, but would I have it any other way? Naw, because it’s all a part of living and learning…

      As depressing or illogical as it may sound to others, I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one who is fine with believing in a special One. I also agree that it isn’t about finding your other “half,” but a circle that fits with your own. A believer of soul mates though I am, I think it’s dangerous to think that you’re only half a person, and need someone else to complete you. Although the mythology behind it is interesting enough!

      • Every soul mate experience I’ve had is a negative one so i don’t believe in “good” soul mate experiences. They are probably there to teach you humility and to not ask the universe for too much.

        • I was lucky to have ONE good one. Ended badly though – as they usually do. It’s hard to sustain that intensity. Took me years to get over him and haven’t had anything long-term since (that was 13 years ago). Not that I want that kind of experience again… a life companion would be nice though. My venus in Libra will always yearn for that but with my Saturn conjunct venus, I feel like i will be single forever and ever. Hopefully Neptune in Pisces will take the edge off my cynicism. Have had enough of Neptune in Aqua ugh!

          • Sat conj Venus is a hard one. I had synastry with someone where my Sat was exactly conj his Venus and it was not fun. Even though he was older than me, I had to be the “grown-up” all of the time. sucked. We are still friends even through all of that but I would def. think twice before getting involved again.

            🙁 I have Sat in the 7th which is another squelcher.

  28. Totally believe in soulmates. They just HAVE to be a real thing. But I agree with others in this thread that it doesn’t have to be romantic/sexual and that there may be more than one. I had a best friend for 12 years:

    Sun in 9th House
    Sun conjunct Moon
    Moon in 9th House
    Venus in 9th House
    Pluto conjunct Ascend.
    Venus Opposing Neptune

    That last one I should have been aware of before. Because, as of now, the illusion is broken and there are great disappointments. Sad to say but we no longer talk.

    But sheesh, all that 9th house business-I seriously felt our brains and hearts together created a complete and whole person in each of us. I always felt a giant sense of comfort, peace and security with that other soul. I think one of the other gems here stated it nicely; sometimes its hard for us gems to get our feelings out and be comfortable with them so to have someone know them without me saying is a huge thing. Our communication could have easily taken place all without speaking.

    I’m still trying to figure out what kind of future we have (if any). And this post/thread is actually helping me realize that soulmates are not in your life from beginning to end, which is what I had previously thought (there goes the neptunian illusion). So now I have the challenge of figuring out why she was there in the first place. I think I know but I am afraid to move on.

    During our time together we talked about the fact that it was such a powerful connection, “soul” seemed to be the only word that we felt could somewhat describe it. Powerful stuff. And totally real.

    • I think some of it has to do with when they come along too. As you say they don’t have to be a constant in your life and to some extent I think people’s souls change and evolve over time, so that they can grow apart. You and your friend sound like me and my Pisces best friend from high school. We were inseparable when we were younger…two angsty and sensitive watery souls that found understanding in each other. But over the past 10 years we’ve drifted apart. We live close though we rarely talk and when we get together it’s with the pretense of accomplishing something else (group outing, kid’s party, family gathering, etc.), not to just spend time with each other. And even then there’s this awkward wall and making conversation takes effort and sounds scripted. It definitely feels like a thread has been severed and our souls have drifted apart. Sort of like our wavelengths have separated too much and now we can’t get in sync with one another.

      On the other hand my would-be soul-mate and I go for long periods of not talking, but whenever we do reconnect it’s still an instant meshing of minds. Even when the intensity gets too much and we start on a downward spiral, I don’t feel like that thread has been severed. It’s become longer and we can give each other greater space, but there’s still a feeling that a connection remains. I wonder sometimes how long it’ll last, if we’ll be this way our whole lives or if we’ll eventually drift apart too. My Virgo Moon likes the idea of having a constant, something reliable like a control that you can measure against.

  29. I believe that our entire life is made up of and created upon what we believe to be but when we talk beliefs we typically talk more about our conscious being not our subconsious being (or soul).

    So from a soul level I believe in reincarnation and connections with other souls (mates/tribes/both/something else) and to me it makes perfect sense, come from same source, return to same source, have been on earth at different points together and shared experiences and/or love.. whatevs.

    I am aware of a number of souls that I’ve had previous experiences with and with a couple have done some past life work.. but that’s digressing.

    It doesn’t have to mean intimate or eternal love as the roles and genders can possibly change also. I still see it a soul connection. I have too much personal experience of this to refute it although to anyone who wasn’t really down with the concept I couldn’t really explain what ‘knowing’ equates to. It’s an experiential concept but I will pose one question…

    Is it just that the idea of a soulmate.. the searching for a soulmate is not so much about completion of the self but more about the ability to witness the external manifestation of all one holds inside and wants to experience and give?

    Yes.. that could be the same thing Cayce said.. said differently. If it all boils down to love as the fundamental true energy then an experience of that will give you the truest sense of you own nature and your authentic self and the easiest way to access that is via a soulmate .. certainly easier than loving your annoying relatives, colleagues who usurp you etc.. you get what I mean.. mustering up that kind of ‘love’ is not something we’ll succeed at all the time and for all people.. but soul kin.. another thing entirely. You gotta love em anyway even when they’ve got you on the rack!

  30. How many degrees apart can something be to be in aspect? If I have Chiron 21 Aries and he has Venus 10 Aries does that count as a conjunction?
    Also does anyone know any good intermediate astro courses that run in Sydney??

    • ten degrees is the widest for a conjunction and some say five so you don’t have one but do you have anything in libra opposing his venus?

      Clairvision do astro courses in sydney, not sure what they’re like but I’ve had some crazy consults from clairvision astrologers – altho if it’s to learn about the past they don’t do past life stuff. They are future oriented. I think Robert Wilkinson – the aquarius papers link on the left hand side of this page is going to do astro courses and he’d be amazing to learn from if you’re open to the web study idea.

  31. Have to say here too that I absolutely adore this artists work – thanks for switching me onto her Mystic, I have never come across her before. She’s wonderful!!

  32. I definitely believe in soul mates in that we connect with people from our soul group at certain times of life. I think a number of soul mates are in place from the time you are born but that you can reach out to others when your life goes off track- you know through astral travel and the like.

    I was served by someone at a hotel several times last year but the first time I saw them I couldn’t believe how I recognised this person. Thankfully I stopped myself from saying ‘you look so familiar’- the words nearly fell out. This has never happened to me before. I only spoke with that person a handful of times during that year very briefly but this person made me realise I could trust my intuition- I could ‘hear’ this person and their energy was incredible. This person opened the pathway for a bigger spiritual journey for me. The first time I spoke to them my ear blocked like you wouldn’t believe but I wasn’t sick and it wasn’t the flight. Over the course of the year I realised that when I listened to my inner self that my ear problem went away. This complete stranger had helped me out of a difficult stage of life- I gained a huge amount spiritually, I started yoga, lost a lot of weight and all of those things enabled me to finally get over my Pluto-Venus, Sun-Moon, 7th house etc. soul mate (but not meant to be) and have realised that my career is at a dead end. If it weren’t for that person I may never have learnt that much about myself and life in general- and it was in a subconscious way because I hardly spoke to them and don’t even know them personally but they made such a huge impact- I think of that person often for how they helped me without even knowing. That all sounds insane but it was so profound. When I looked on the travel map I found my chiron line passes right through Melbourne.

    I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of one soulmate above all others- ask me when i’m older. If you looked at my synastry chart with Mr Venus-Pluto etc (heaps of significant aspects, conjunctions) you would go wow if that isn’t it I don’t know what is but they were there for a reason and there must be some karmic stuff going on with that too. So maybe part of the karma was that you can’t be together this lifetime. Someone once told me they were my twin soul but how do you really know?? I have telepathy with other people, too, but I guess in a different way. Mr Venus-Pluto etc. connection was like he was right there all the time- I was so tuned into him. The saddest thing was the night before or the day he got married (which I didn’t find out until two months later) I dreamt that I was struggling to learn my lines and that I had to go on stage in a few minutes. He was there and I said, ‘I can’t do this I haven’t got (something) and I don’t know my lines’ and he said ‘I can’t come up there with you’ but i’ll be over here. I had to go on stage without him and I was devastated. I just couldn’t believe it was the night before or the day they got married (thanks to mutual friend and dream diary for that info).

    • awesome! totally get it… not crazy at all. so glad you were awakened 🙂

  33. What if you have natal SN conjunct Venus? You are your own soulmate, lol? My husband and I both have that natal conjunction (with his sun thrown into his 0_O), not sure what to make of that.

    I do know that an old healer I used to work had this to say on the subject: she cackled, “You can’t MARRY your soul mate! Ha!”

  34. I have experienced the total shift to awakening of meeting a soulmate. Soulmates are not the romantic notion of some of the replies here, they are just as Cayce said… people we have shared past life experiences with. I did not believe in past lives until about 6 months ago, when after meeting a particular person (who I will not be able to share this lifetime with) I suddenly had like an intrinsic knowledge that past lives are real and I had known him before and suddenly had questions about “soulmates.”

    The idea of a soul tribe is also something I “feel” intuitively to also be true. If all souls are like leaves on a tree, we are more tightly connected with the “leaves” on our own branch than other branches and on then on our own tree than another tree altogether. We form bonds with other souls to learn and grow and for support and to accomplish goals and walk our soul path. The ones we feel instant dislike for can be soul’s with past life baggage. Brian Weiss and Edgar Cayce are excellent sources for information on these relationships.