The Real Horoscope Bags

Missoni Astrology Bags

“Dear Mystic,

Have you seen these Missoni Horoscope Bags? 

They came out a while back and I have been entertaining myself with reading the comments on the websites that sell them. So far they have sold out of all signs bar Aquarius, Sagittarius and Capricorn.

Leo’s adore them, thrilled to bits with the colour and I assume the opportunity for Leo brand display. Libran’s are ticked off that the fabric is, apparently, of poor quality. Pisces loves the dreamy colour and ability to cart around loads of junk. Gemini’s are divided, but don’t really care that much. Scorpio’s are also divided but intensely so. Cancer loves the beautiful coral colour because it brings back memories of summer, the beach, that time they went scuba diving etc.

The other signs have yet to comment. Maybe Aries can’t be stuffed giving feedback and Virgo doesn’t have enough character space to say what they really think. Not sure about Taurus?

So I get why Capricorn isn’t into them. It is an upmarket brand, true, but I’m thinking canvas would not be their fabric of choice for a bag. However I’m a bit baffled by Sagittarius and Aquarius. It’s bohemian, colourful and gives them the perfect opportunity to proudly announce that they won’t be needing that hideous, atmosphere infecting, toxic plastic bag for their groceries. Ethical gripes with the company? No fixed address to have it sent too?

I thought about buying one, but then I remembered the irritating reaction that the announcement of my sun sign status elicits. “Ooooh, you’re a VIRGIN”. Yes, yes I am and so is the other 1/12 of the population that happened to be born in the same period. We are all virgins…forever. Charlie Sheen? Not the real baby daddy. Beyonce? Immaculate conception. Allah’s martyr gifting stash? That’s us!

Love,

The Supportive Virgo”

Dear Supportive Virgo,

Oh well, i’m seeing them now. Thank you. Weird. Thank you for your astro-analysis of the Horoscope Bag Reviews & all – good work but i am not getting these bags. I thought Missoni stood for (a) super exclusive knitwear and (b) Fabulous of Fabulosity Missoni It-Girl articles in which they waft about their Italian mansions, talking about integrity and their simple lifestyles…These don’t seem anything spesh design-wise and well, WHAT am i missing here?

Besides, the bags should all be totally different. Not just different colors. I mean really.

Let’s do how the bags should REALLY be if somebody wasn’t in a carb-coma or attempting to fill the gap in the astrological supermarket bag market.  These are just off the top of my head, not prescriptive nor exhaustive, obviously.

Aries would be like a red, neon lightening bolt thing.  It would need to be able to be used as a weapon, if necessary.

Taurus would have to be big, bulky with some official bling going on and secret velvet tassles and squishy velvet covered bubble wrap on the inside for them to fondle, they’re so tactile. 

Gemini – completely reversible and then some. You turn it inside out to create a totally different bag. It would have a g.p.s, podometer and E.m.f. detector built in to it. 

Crab-Peeps – well i am thinking tapestry, macrame, some distressed denim and a hint of broderie anglaise. It would smell of antique patchouli, old classic first edition Gothic romance novels and crushed gardenia. There would be a kind of paper-mache at the bottom made up of the all the old decomposing love letters and items of significance. Maybe some feathers.

Leo: A fuq-off designer that Non-Leos are not yet ON to but whom the Leo knows. Or has discovered. Or is sleeping with. But more important is the Leo hair-beauty case inside it. I know a Leo who was so disgusted when she realised a woman she knew had a powder compact with a cracked mirror in it and “did not care” that she stopped talking to the friend.

Virgo – Compartmentalised and with such items as needle/thread, Swiss Army Knife, emergency chocolate, Rescue Remedy, batteries, phone charger and breath freshener.

Libra:  There is the bag Libra HAS to have, like what is appropriate and the bag Libra secretly wants; like something a working-it porn star would have to go on location. A fringed sequinned designer tote bag with writing all over it and an unbelievable array of lip glosses, flavoured body gunk, erotic fiction, magical marshmallows that burn calories the more you eat and several different mobile phones.

Scorpio – Because they know and respect what Freud said about the handbag being symbolic of your vagina, Scorpios tend toward very small, neat and elegant bags. They don’t like anything that looks like you could put a lot of stuff into it or a bag that looks scuffed.

Saggo: Bag? They’ve got like sports bags, tennis bags, laundry bags, carry-ons and maybe some luggage but Saggo’s actually WOULD like the Missoni Horoscope Bags above because that’ s how they roll, as happy with a flash bag as with some eco-thing from the supermarket.

Capricorn – Either no bag because they have pockets and a bag would destroy their elegant, architectural lines or a bag that somehow conveys schooling, tradition, prestige and respect…perfect taste.

Aquarius: who needs a hang bag when you have a pocket-sized Dark Matter Machine?

Pisces- the bag policy changes every few months as the Pisces reinvents and thus issues a new policy dictate. Ever since Uranus went into Aries, Pisceans are all going bats for brilliant new wallets, that they feel are symbolic of prosperity and belief in oneself. Some of them even have talismans and spells in the wallet, for extra magical oomph.

Thoughts?

 

 

 

 

 

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chirochiq
chirochiq
September 20, 2011 7:52 am

Cap = monochrome accessories at the mo, well for ages really, boring i know…but i just love bright bright white and blackest black together with silver jewellery, and yeah i do like a more structured definite shaped bag, detracts from inner flake insecurities i suppose 🙂

MB
MB
September 20, 2011 12:21 pm
Reply to  chirochiq

truth. high-quality, supple black leather. silver or gold fasteners. pockets for my planner, wallet, pen and bobby pins to sleek back my hair with. Maybe some studs that say “im tough”. Reads sophisticated/classy/durable/”I make more money than you”. that’s the ideal handbag for this Cap.

Mimi
Mimi
September 20, 2011 4:22 am

Sagittarius says, YUCK to a pale yellow, so NOT us.

PonPon
PonPon
September 20, 2011 12:37 am

Sooo I’m a leo sun, sagg moon/rising. I wouldn’t mind a necklace or bracelet with the leo symbol, but not a bag or t shirt. It was mentioned above, I hate wearing logos as well. My clothes have to be a solid color or maybe a floral print, no logos. The only designs I’ll wear on a shirt as well would be floraly or butterflies. I prefer my shirts to be interestingly designed with ribbons or detailed pleating, gathering etc. I do have a pair of boots that say “jump” on the heel, the brand name, but it’s subtle and… Read more »

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth
September 19, 2011 11:10 pm

so I meant a timely gift.. but give is still giving of a gift I guess…=)

Scorched Earth
Scorched Earth
September 19, 2011 11:09 pm

Yup, they all look the same except for the shade.. don’t suite a Sage aside from the practicalities of no plastic (now that I support) and easy wearing and tearing however the colour isn’t my thang. I do like yellow and the lemon tones but it ain’t doing anthing for me. I’d probably only buy it if it was cheap and then only use it for groceries etc. I like a statement… lol.. but this isn’t indicative of one for me… So… laughed thinking about a Libran colleage when I read this MM. Thanks.. took me out of the zone… Read more »

andromeda
andromeda
September 19, 2011 10:39 pm

Hmm. I like the Cappy bag and the Gemini bag. Would never actually buy one.

I know lots of Virgos also who love red, as many as Aries who love red.

The colour for Aquarius is really wrong.

Leo.

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo
September 19, 2011 3:19 pm

Wow, Missoni has officially sold out. Blah.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 3:34 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

But you knew that when the towel line was released. And seriously, this stately old school house of fashion has been around for so long yet SUDDENLY is everywhere in the last two years… you knew this was coming, Uber.

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo
September 19, 2011 3:39 pm
Reply to  milleunanotte

I suppose I did. *sigh*

Although, I love a good quality towel. Another Virgo thing.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 3:50 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

Yes, they have cheap towels in hell. Two kinds: one is scratchy, 70s brown n orange or cheerfully printed, and the loops pull easily; the other poses as a luxe towel but doesn’t absorb the water and leaves lint on your body (there is also a plethora of LINT in hell) forever.

xox rockstar libran publicist xox
xox rockstar libran publicist xox
September 20, 2011 2:17 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

Ubes – ‘officially sold out’ was the Missoni for Target collection that sold out in a heartbeat a week ago, or so….. When Rosita Missoni, who’s around 86 now, retired from the family fashion house she went stir crazy not working & asked her daughter if she could rebirth the furniture upholstery division. Now hands-on still today – with Missoni home she is the force. whilst the palettes remain directional & despite being outside my own aesthetic have respect for how they initiate trends others follow. but, the licensing manager needs to be given the flick. target / & those… Read more »

xox rockstar libran publicist xox
xox rockstar libran publicist xox
September 20, 2011 2:17 pm

whoops – Missoni for Target :

http://www.target.com/c/Missoni/-/N-5ouwb

Zaiborg
Zaiborg
September 19, 2011 12:44 pm

My handbags are symbolic of my vagina?!!!
Gasp!
*bolts off to rummages through closet to over analyse….*

Spirit
Spirit
September 19, 2011 10:42 am

A neat and elegant vagina ?

Brenda
Brenda
September 19, 2011 10:12 am

“Crab-Peeps – well i am thinking tapestry, macrame, some distressed denim and a hint of broderie anglaise. It would smell of antique patchouli, old classic first edition Gothic romance novels and crushed gardenia. There would be a kind of paper-mache at the bottom made up of the all the old decomposing love letters and items of significance. Maybe some feathers.” lmao. I’m half in love with this image and half thinking of the ‘decomposing’ paper at the bottom. Sort of weirds me out a bit. Give me a cross between the Crab bag and the Taurus bag though. Sounds heavenly.… Read more »

Domestic Triffid
Domestic Triffid
September 19, 2011 9:16 am

I have a LOT of scorpyness and have actually designed a bag with a clitoris. And a secret vagina. And an even more secret anus. I have a friend who will stock it, but haven’t managed to find the perfect shade of silk velvet to make the interior…. Am VERY amused to hear of Freud’s comments on the subject….. My actual handbag is one a friend brought me back from Spain – it has a million useful pockets; is brightly coloured canvas, with embroidery, and is incredibly not-erotic. My everyday life needs nappy pouches, wipes and spare pens *sigh* so… Read more »

Pegasus
Pegasus
September 19, 2011 9:33 am

Wouldn’t that bag be like wearing your heart on your sleeve?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that 🙂

Domestic Triffid
Domestic Triffid
September 19, 2011 9:36 am
Reply to  Pegasus

Well, no – it just looks like a rather chic leather bag from the outside – all the interesting stuff is hidden inside it. You wouldn’t even know it had a clitoris until you put your hand right inside it 🙂 🙂 And you’d have to be shown its…. orifices 😀

leogroover
leogroover
September 19, 2011 10:11 am

WANT ONE *HAND SHOOTS STRAIGHT UP* Put it online DT don’t wait for perfect colour. Its the ‘feel’ that is strongly evocative. Can it softly moan too?

Brenda
Brenda
September 19, 2011 10:14 am

omg…. I can’t decide if I love it or if I’m slightly disturbed. I’d have to sneak off to test out it’s… assets in private. lol

Dark purple, it should be a deep dark plum. No moans, just the deep satisfied sighs of well cared for leather.

o.O

Domestic Triffid
Domestic Triffid
September 19, 2011 2:47 pm

Oookay… Didn’t realise there’d be so much interest in it. Will start stitching 🙂 Limited edition, handmade.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 3:55 pm

“Limited edition” … aren’t all vaginas 😉 What a tactile and celebratory idea you have, Domestic T. It’s bold and cheeky, yet secret. How delightful on a Monday afternoon!

Amanda aka AbsintheDragonfly
Amanda aka AbsintheDragonfly
September 19, 2011 8:39 am

Capricorn wants a leather bag. Soft supple leather 😉

leogroover
leogroover
September 19, 2011 9:41 am

you can have the one in the back of my wardrobe A that i was given for my bday. its camel colour , big floppy leather. I prefer more virgo type with stealthy secret compartments for vibrators/ erotic scribbles and the like to satisfy my scorpy side.
Same lovely peep gave all the girls in the office Jimmy Choo rip off wallets. Its ok but will take off the JC symbol and find a Leo type brooch or some symbol to pin on it to show I KICK ASS.

Amanda aka AbsintheDragonfly
Amanda aka AbsintheDragonfly
September 19, 2011 11:34 pm
Reply to  leogroover

OOOOH!!!! Actually that is so perfect! I am purring now 😀

virgo cat
virgo cat
September 19, 2011 7:25 am

Why are Virgo and Leo in the wrong order?
Of course, Virgo notices.
Sheesh!!!

I do think they are kind of lovely bags though.

Gneiss Moon
Gneiss Moon
September 19, 2011 8:17 am
Reply to  virgo cat

good catch VC ! this bag intrigues me & my Neptuney on 11th: http://www.core77.com/blog/object_culture/eco-design_from_colombia_cyclus_bags_18324.asp

Brenda
Brenda
September 19, 2011 10:15 am
Reply to  Gneiss Moon

Oh wow…. I kind of love that thing. So bizarre.

Bet my man would rock it. Mister defies stereotypes cap.

Gneiss Moon
Gneiss Moon
September 19, 2011 10:38 am
Reply to  Brenda

I have been looking for price- soOo curious, totally shut out. el signo, prob too high, loves it though ~ picturing a helmet and webbed feet to go with 🙂

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 3:30 pm
Reply to  Gneiss Moon

Love the backpack version! My Nep also intrigued, but the Sag part fears not getting it open in a hurry…or it circles wildly open spilling contents.

Gneiss Moon
Gneiss Moon
September 20, 2011 2:36 pm
Reply to  milleunanotte

haha great visual *cheers to spinning wildly*

Sunceres
Sunceres
September 19, 2011 7:11 am

A Leo sun with Aries rising: Red definitely, with lightning bolt, but maybe not weaponized! I have a stellium in Virgo and have all the things mentioned in Virgo in my bag, but had to remove my Swiss army knife because can’t go into govt buildings, football, or baseball games with it anymore. And the bag I carry is big enough for the hair stuff.

I have lots of red clothes, so maybe it is more of an Aries rising thing.

Great insights, even if some are not perfect! And I would never buy one of those in the picture.

Stawr
Stawr
September 19, 2011 6:07 am

Great discriptions Suportive Virgo and Mystic!

I’m an Aries Sun. And I think that is just cheesy, and my sun sign is not the only thing that defines who I am.

(Gem rising, Scorp Moon, Aqua mars)

Gosh…what is up with Virgo’s being the virgin?…alot of Virgo’s Sun I know are way more sexualy active than me. The ones I know seem to either be in relationships or being a she-player hooking up with guys. (but then most of the ones I know have Gemini Mars…)

Gneiss Moon
Gneiss Moon
September 19, 2011 6:00 am

a friend recently looked at my bag and said ‘you could do better’ ~! lol
hey trendista-I spent big dept store $$ on a pleather bag that fell apart in one -1 ! season ! …went straight to army surplus for a bag and it has held up for Years. (I carry books) I ironed on a sun patch, not astro specific though. Built to Last- Cap ASC loves it

Catsmeow
Catsmeow
September 19, 2011 5:52 am

Leo, Aries and Gemini have the best colors!! And I like the way they drew Aquarius’ waves. But yes, the whole thing is a bit generic. Wouldn’t use a bag like this for anything more than going to the beach.

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 19, 2011 5:48 am

Hmmmmmm? The colors on the Aries, Gemini, (maybe Cancer), and Leo totes are alright…..but what happened to the rest of the signs? They all look really faded…..and severely OUTDATED! Maybe I’d wear the Virgo and Libra totes if they were having 80s night at the grocery store. And of course, they’d have to be accompanied by my favorite pair of acid-washed jeans! 😛 Overall, I personally don’t like the idea of wearing or *toting* anything that “advertises”. Whether it’s famous, expensive, designer logos or if it’s what sign I am. (Sun in Aries, Moon in Scorpio, Leo Rising Conjunct Chiron).… Read more »

Stawr
Stawr
September 19, 2011 6:11 am
Reply to  Anonymous

Well said Anonymous,
I have Aries Sun with Scorp Moon also, and no one ever guesses I’m an Aries. The most comon guesses are Gemini. And then Cancer and Leo. and then Pisces and Capricron.

Pegasus
Pegasus
September 19, 2011 9:30 am
Reply to  Anonymous

Smudging the house to clean the energy……..thanks for reminding me,
although at the stage of needing an excorcist for my neighbour.
Bringing in money guns & lawyers is easy compared to actually excorcising
evil.

Thanx for the reminder!

Pegasus
Pegasus
September 19, 2011 9:31 am
Reply to  Pegasus

an echo :-)oops.

belladonna
belladonna
September 19, 2011 5:41 am

It’s pretty boring how b’caus you’re aries everything must be bright red – personally as an Aries I’ve never had a red thing going on…

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 19, 2011 5:49 am
Reply to  belladonna

Me neither! I’ve never really liked red. However, I know WAY TOO MANY Virgos who are RED (and BLACK) all the way.

Aquarpio
Aquarpio
September 19, 2011 3:47 am

(Aquarius sun and asc., moon in Pisces) I think you had Aquarius pegged in the beginning when you said, generally, that they’d have to be all different. I usually don’t want one of those things that everyone has -which this would qualify as in my book. I really came on to respond to what you said about Pisces being obsessed with a new wallet ever since Uranus went into Aries because this is dead on for me. Weird!

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 3:39 am

Er…is some weird astro keeping pisceans awake?

considering my morning work project meet to hammer stuff out with colleague, i know i should be sleeping but some oddness woke me.

meg
meg
September 19, 2011 3:35 am

horrible

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 3:40 am
Reply to  meg

Yes, they are a bit yukky.

meg
meg
September 19, 2011 3:32 am

O worse, just read the posts. Doing no one favours. Cancel and move on. Peace. Love pisces.

meg
meg
September 19, 2011 3:29 am

you think Pisces would even spend any time? Sorry no. marketing or else wise. no, no, no. character building. No, no no. Let it lie mystic and move on without secundo thought. love you and thus, no.

Bright
Bright
September 19, 2011 2:58 am

I just now realized that I’m not insane because I ache for reinvention every couple of months: I’m just a Pisces. Also: get out of my brain! I’ve been daydreaming in a near sexual way about buying a new wallet and the one that I want has room to keep my magical oils & flower essences!

Bright
Bright
September 19, 2011 3:03 am
Reply to  Bright

I’m taking this as permission to pop down to 3 Monkeys this morning and purchasing dream wallet.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 3:13 am
Reply to  Bright

May it bring you dollops of gold xx

Bright
Bright
September 19, 2011 6:34 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

It wasn’t there! My new wallet is being coy, je pense. I just have to hunt around Portland now to find her.

Pegasus
Pegasus
September 19, 2011 9:23 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

Millie, has anyone told you that you have a lovely nature,
always wishing us well.
May it be returned to you 1000 times.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 3:26 pm
Reply to  Pegasus

Oh Pegs, you just brightened my arvo! Just went to neurologist and came home early. I mean I’m certainly in the recovery trajectory *arrow swoosh sound* but have these backward step moments. Thank you so much!

year of the fox
year of the fox
September 19, 2011 2:09 am

Mystic you are spot on for Geminis liking reversible grocery bags. The actual bag my room mate has IS a reversible shopping bag! 😀

I use a vintage string net bag. It makes all the hipsters jealous. It was actually a gift from a long time ago before eco-shopping became more mandatory. I just forgot about it for ages and found it one day cleaning the closet. It’s like look…a gift from the future!

AquaMeg
AquaMeg
September 20, 2011 3:38 am

Wouldn’t it be great if all ‘gifts’ were from the future? So we’d know when retro became nouveau again, obviously 🙂

aqualala
aqualala
September 19, 2011 2:07 am

Aquarius: I can’t wear or carry anything with clearly visible logos.

year of the fox
year of the fox
September 19, 2011 2:10 am
Reply to  aqualala

Most of my Aqua exes say the same thing! I was wondering if it was a male Aqua only sort of thing.

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo
September 19, 2011 3:18 pm
Reply to  aqualala

I can’t either. Nothing in Aqua. Saggo rising? Aqua does cover my 3rd house though.

Lexicorn
Lexicorn
September 19, 2011 3:29 pm
Reply to  aqualala

Venus in Aquarius. I’m the same. Total No Label Policy. No brand names. No slogans. Zilch. Not a chance. Have taken the black permanent marker to freshly bought clothes and shoes a number of times.

I won’t even wear the merchandising for my own festival. I am THAT opposed to logos, I won’t even wear my own.

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 19, 2011 9:26 pm
Reply to  Lexicorn

Ah so it’s Venus in Aqua! Also LOATHE logos…like when did you pay ME to advertise YOU? And pop me in a box while you’re at it! NO!

I was the only band member who wouldn’t wear the stoopid logo t-shirt. I said it was because as singer I had to costume up already, and then said btw your small size is still too big, and it was. I helped wiring and instrument setup all in my outfit, including stilettos.

AquaMeg
AquaMeg
September 20, 2011 3:37 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

Yep, another Aqua here. Hate logos, combo of “The Man” and his marketing ways giving me the creeps and being a faux out-there billboard.

Virgo moon, those canvas bags are too big. Small and easily carried, please. Mine is paperback-book sized, black faux fur and snuggly, like carrying around a small teddy bear. 4th house moon, dash of Kataka mixing with uber-air in my chart. I pack as light as I can and obsessively keep my handbag clean. 🙂

SourPatch
SourPatch
September 19, 2011 12:44 am

Errrrm, I have no idea what “broderie anglaise” is but I’d prefer my crab bag to look one from the “Thirty One” Catalog or the one I bought from the Belvah stand at the mall. And they would be kept CLEAN and junk free, KTHX.

And why are we always associated with coral colors?I prefer blues and greens.

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 18, 2011 11:58 pm

Sagittarius’ would love this bag and put all their political buttons on it. As for Capricorns…we would never invest in a bag like that. The money would be better spent on expensive goat cheese.

GeorgeSand
GeorgeSand
September 19, 2011 2:19 am
Reply to  Anonymous

Actually being Cap moon and rising my first choice is to always go bag-less. I’d much rather carry what I need in my pockets.

Anonymous
Anonymous
September 18, 2011 11:46 pm

Enjoyed the rift.

GeorgeSand
GeorgeSand
September 18, 2011 11:26 pm

Okay maybe tacky is too strong a characterization. Lol. And on second viewing the only ones I might be inclined to use would be Aries and Leo — colors are the best imo.

Jen Scorpio
Jen Scorpio
September 19, 2011 7:30 am
Reply to  GeorgeSand

That’s an idea: pick the bag according to your favourite, not your star sign. So that when someone says “Oh, you’re a Scorpio” as they back away cringing, you can blithely say “no, of course not”.

GeorgeSand
GeorgeSand
September 18, 2011 11:23 pm

The Scorpio bag isn’t bad per se, it’s just I hate anything that makes me a waking billboard. You know anything that has company logos, school affiliations and I guess too what sign one is. Tacky.

Spirit
Spirit
September 19, 2011 10:54 am
Reply to  GeorgeSand

Absolutely agree. ( Scorp Sun )

I will NOT wear any corporate logo.

Lauren
Lauren
September 19, 2011 11:50 am
Reply to  GeorgeSand

I agree with the corporate logo thing. Coach bags are enormously popular here in the states. It seems like every woman from the ages of 17 to 40 has at least one (whether its genuine or a fake), and yet I think they are the most uninspired and bland bags ever. I would never own one as it would make me look too much like everyone else and I like the idea of accessories saying something about your individual personality. On the other hand, I do like walking around with bags with non-profit logos on them. They tend to send… Read more »

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 18, 2011 11:05 pm

Glaring problem with Sagittarius bag: lemon yellow shows all stains and scuffs.

Pegasus
Pegasus
September 19, 2011 9:21 am
Reply to  milleunanotte

Sagg & Yellow??????
Love the colour in nature but not in clothes or furnishings. Lemon yelllow
looks really good on lemons, would never carry a tote that looked like those
made by K-Mart not Missoni.

Jen Scorpio
Jen Scorpio
September 18, 2011 11:01 pm

Well there you go, I never knew that Freud thought your handbag was a representation of your vagina. So does this mean when you carry a glitzy evening bag, it’s like a vajazzlebag? And when you carry a dowdy carry all it’s like a vajrazzle bag?

I.M.
I.M.
September 18, 2011 10:43 pm

Well I’m a Crab and the description of the bag for my sign gives me the creeps. There is this constant thing about over-decorating and Crabs, when, if anything, most of the people in my sign have a simple, understated style. Gamine would be the best way to describe it.

I.M.
I.M.
September 18, 2011 11:33 pm
Reply to  Mystic

Thank you, it’s so sweet of you to reply. I know descriptions like this are meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek, and I absolutely love your fashion and beauty posts.

GeorgeSand
GeorgeSand
September 19, 2011 2:18 am
Reply to  Mystic

They are very sentimental. My husband is a Crab and he holds on to everything, from love letters to tax returns. Lol!

Lauren
Lauren
September 19, 2011 11:33 am
Reply to  GeorgeSand

My father has a Crab stellium and is the same way. If this bag analysis can overlap to the other gender, I would say that an ideal “bag” for a Cancer male would be a vintage leather briefcase. old and soft, but loving oiled and polished, not some ratty looking thing. He also has a file folder for every year of his life since his early 20’s; with photos, articles about his business accomplishments, old calendars and random scribbles that pop into his overly active creative brain. He always talks about some day writing a book to chronicle his life,… Read more »

MMIL
MMIL
September 18, 2011 10:27 pm

Who decides these colour associations for sun signs anyway? Is it just some wafty, hippy idea based on ‘feelings’ and equally hippy associates? And why is Libra always pink? What is often described as ‘baby’ or dusky rose’ pink is, to my Libran eyes, ‘washed my underpants 102 times, but they’re still holding in’ pink.

Totally agree with maira – Libra = neutral, simple, no obvious branding, very high quality, and (sadly!) very high price.

Wonder what other signs feel misrepresented?

milleunanotte
milleunanotte
September 18, 2011 11:06 pm
Reply to  MMIL

Great colour description!

year of the fox
year of the fox
September 19, 2011 2:12 am
Reply to  MMIL

MMIL you are so right about the pink. yuck. The bag looks like beige but somebody washed it with red clothing in the same load.

rosebud
rosebud
September 19, 2011 5:11 am

IIII DO
HOW THE HELL IS THAT PRACTICALLY INVISIBLE THING SUPPOSED TO DEPICT AQUARIAN CRAZINESS?! i mean, i’ts kind of….niiice…how they’re trying to picture us as all zen-like but really. DID THAT TOTE BAG POP OUT AT YOU OR DID YOU HAVE TO SQUINT TO FIND IT?!
i believe i’ve made my case.

Odette-in-Libra
Odette-in-Libra
September 20, 2011 6:36 pm
Reply to  MMIL

“Libra = neutral, simple, no obvious branding, very high quality” Absolutely.

I actually prefer black or dark brown bags, soft leather – nothing too shiny – but I love when the lining is some bright. luxurious material. (A charcoal-black bag with peacock blue lining – I’d just sit & stare at the bag as a form of meditation.)

Has to be large enough for a book, water, tissues, scarf, pens, notebook, phone, etc. and easy to hang off a shoulder.

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces
September 18, 2011 10:16 pm

Mystic you ought to be an adviser to large famous department stores, and their online counterparts. *boom* sales would triple, provided that the potential buyer cares to enter their birth data into some small calculator-thing (anonymously, only so the machine can spit out the significant astro deets then shred the data), and voila, a selection of merchandise tailored to their exact astro.

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces
September 18, 2011 10:18 pm

you can tell i’ve just been time wasting on net-a-porter and so on. what i’d like to do with that site is enter my body measurements so that any divine but ridiculously unsuitable items could be taken off the listings, so i can trawl realistically.

maira
maira
September 18, 2011 10:15 pm

Taurus stuffed picnic goodies in it and wandered off to a park or a forest, that’s why they didn’t comment 🙂

My Libra ascendant happens to disagree : the tote would have to be an off white, cream or beige designer bag, very clean in design, understated (it doesn’t have any distinguishable mark on it, but the true fashionistas know what it is, how much it costs and the effort it took to own it).

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