The Astrology Of Down-Dating

Lara Stone kissing naked man

Are you a Down-Dater?  And if so, what is your Sun and/or Venus sign?  Or was there a particular transit in which you became a Down-Dater?

Just to be clear, Down-Dating is not like when one of you is an opera singer and the other is a garbage collector but you’re blissfully happy together, compatible and who gives a damn about any discrepancy in income/status?

Down-Dating is when one of you is essentially sane and civilised, more or less aligned to current societal values and the other person is, like, so rude, out-of-it, angry, emotionally inept or droolingly nuts that your friends cannot fail to comment on the dis-equililbrium.

Astrologically, it is linked to dodgy Venus-Saturn aspects – you have a self-worth problem so that you sincerely think this is the best you can get or that it’s better than being alone or crappo Venus-Uranus aspects: the idea of being happy or content is just so unspeakably bourgeois and boring.

Virgo and Pisces seem to Down-Date more than the other signs: WHY?  So that the Virgo can get off on correctively nagging the devotee? And Pisces can go on some sort of “it’s-so-karmic” redemption trip?

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 Image: Steven Klein – Lara Stone – W Magazine

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jprevost
jprevost

Have you pegged this Virgo! Sun in virgo, venus in libra, think I have down-dated forever! Whether is is intellectual, emotional or sexual, there is always this Huge discrepancy. Sigh! Hope there’s hope yet! Lol!

Astromama
Astromama

Virgo Sun & Venus and Pisces Moon. This “Down Dating” is the story of my life. I really dislike this aspect of my astrology and have learned to stay away from the Scorpionic aspect.

Lucy
Lucy

Yep…dated a Pisces and felt like I was paying off some karmic debt for some other “B” that had been in the guy’s life….with a Virgo….”Jesus, do NOT upset the sensitivity and the purity of me!’ lol….. Right now, I’m avoiding Gemini men like they have a POX…I’ve yet to meet one with a sense of humor AND a brain that engages with ANY other part of them….they’re on their OWN planet altogether…. Of course, I’m no ‘dream’ either..Taurus…Sun….Pisces…Moon…and Aquarian Ascendant….but hey, at least I can ADMIT I’m ‘effed! lol I’m hiding out till this shit is over….retrograde this, retrograde… Read more »

meg
meg

Wow. That would be the most
Pisceans
ever answered a call.
x a Picean.

What are we doing again? Deep throating, submarine work?

Nice work Mystic for rooting us out

Stawr
Stawr

Aries Sun house 11
Pisces Venus house 10

I became a down dater from 09-10.

And I am thankful Saturn is in Libra…It’s really making me have higher standards….but then I haven’t really found anyone really worth my time. I can’t find guys that have a job…I don’t really care what he does for a living just would be nice to have someone on my level that can hold down a job too.

chirochiq
chirochiq

Pisces asc, i had to embrace boundaries big time. Wall of China like boundaries with self to get real, and with self defeating acts to make extinct, and permanent boundaries with messed up ex who could/would not see their effect on moi, nor understand why they were like they were at all, just wanted to sweep it all under the carpet every time and not even talk about it…sadly a lot goes undiagnosed unless someone is willing to get prof. help, they are everywhere and can be famous, rich, successful and admired for it, but get them at home by… Read more »

chirochiq
chirochiq

that is pluto and uranus in 7th in virgo, other half was highly erratic/impulsive self employed genius like YOF described above…i had to accept and see the erratic/impulsive side of myself too here, first though.

Neptune 9th in Scorp and Saturn in 12th drove me to investigate all this merde.

I needed to find out ‘why’ to save my sanity, but really emo intelligence and responsible action is what matters most.

RedHeadGem
RedHeadGem

Venus opposes Saturn in my natal and I definitely have a low self-worth thing going on. It seems I always date someone who is either too strong for me- making demands that I can’t reach or too weak for me pulling me down farther and farther. I feel like my life has been both full of avioding admirers and/or trying to get over and past them. Down dater here for sure. But as a side note, I’ve never been in love and still have high hopes! Hopefully this Saturn business will fuel my Lib asc into realizing my self-worth and… Read more »

perfectpisces
perfectpisces

lol. no comment.

Bright
Bright

Pisces: I down-date because I don’t think anyone should be lonely and without love, and I can see the good in them, etc.

Only, I don’t down-date anymore. I would rather be single than date someone who is abusive (but “has a good heart” – what is that, wtf self) or dumb or creepy, or who violates any of my hard fought for boundaries.

andromeda
andromeda

I relate to this, though I am a Leo. I have Pisces MC and Neptune on my DC so I find it really easy if I like someone to see all kinds of wonderful things no one else does! But I do believe these contacts have karmic overtones too.

aqualala`
aqualala`

Married down when I was young and misled, and dated down twice. Got rid of the first within about three weeks, yick. The second lasted a few months. I’m aqua sun and scorpio moon, he’s scorpio sun and aqua moon. It was intense and impossible. It won’t happen again.

Peta
Peta

urghhhh – I guess I must be the Queen of the down daters (sigh) YEAH Piscean YEAH self esteem issues (as a result of too much down dating-LOL) I dont think I would know what to do with a good one – GLAD though its not just a ‘me’ thing

year of the fox
year of the fox

I’m a chronic down-dater. I’m not sure it can be cured. I suspect transits make things worse but there are probably natal aspects that cement that. —I’ve Venus in Virgo, which causes a sort of always looking for greener grass sort of thing but Virgo does love to sort of correct and fix. Saturn in the 7th so always looking for a relationship even if it sucks…determined to make it work. I certainly do not look for crazy people and it’s not like people tell you right away. I’ve also been told that the planet on your chart closest to… Read more »

SaturnRuled
SaturnRuled

oh that’s interesting about the planet closest to sun. Neptune is conjunct my sun – can’t get any closer than that. So, an artistic type for moi. Just my type 🙂 Just wish he’s hurry up already it’s been over a decade since I’ve been in a relationship. I was a chronic down-dater too. I blame it on my venus in Libra, as long as they were good-looking, well mannered and had great taste in music, I didn’t care how much they earned or what side of the tracks they came from (and there was quite a few from wrong… Read more »

rose
rose

Not the nagging. We’re just trying to save the world.

chirochiq
chirochiq

moi as so many above…it’s the salvage operation that has to go on afterward that is the mean double blow to pay for having put up with all the crap in the first place, and some don’t survive that, and heaven help you if you’ve got kids to look after, & more… and then you realise, like said above, that your ex came from such a messed up background, that you finally ‘get’ why they’re such a jerk & to round the whole disaster off, you realise, drippy as it gets, to borrow from above commentator, that there’s no way… Read more »

chirochiq
chirochiq

i look at the picture at the top of this post, and it is no joke!

Capfire
Capfire

I am a Capricorn I don’t down-date.

fishgirl
fishgirl

Mystic WHO is Naomi Watts with in this pic??

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Liev Shreiber having a bad day?

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

OMFG MYSTIC Yes, past two “major” relationships. Fuq ME what was I thinking. One was Neptune (and chiron) transiting Mars in my 8th: Enter Stage Left! Loving, manly, charismatic ..GAMBLING ADDICT who drank too much. Prior was The Angry Pisces Ex. Both of these took place during Neptune was transiting my 8th. The Angry Pisces r’ship dissolved in a whisky-soaked heap around my Saturn return. (also pluto transiting Saturn). I put both of these entirely down to poor-self-worth-complex (Moi) and me needing an intervention, or break-up mentoring – that never arrived – for at least the first relationship (Angry Pisces).… Read more »

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

oops i mean pluto transiting neptune.

Charley
Charley

Oh hell yeah. Saturn conjunct Venus and all that goes with it, working on it though and since I’ve had Saturn also in conjunction to my natal Venus I feel like I’ve learnt some hard and lasting lessons regarding this. I wouldn’t say I overly date, in fact I’ve been single a long time but both my long term relationships were unbalanced and I sleep with men who are ridiculous or end up in scenarios which are bad for me because that’s all I think I deserve etc. Mind you having Mars in Sag makes me kind of prone to… Read more »

leogroover
leogroover

MM did a post on this last month a few months back. It was about types of relationships by the 5th 7th and 8th house. 7th was the stable ones, 8th was karmi and I think 5th was bats. it was very interesting. Maybe down daters have lots of action in their 5th. I had lots in 7th coz essnetially I am sane person. But Im having an 8th house affair at the mo and it the most exciting thing ever. Never down dated-

Ms.
Ms.

I don’t think the 5th has to do with down dating doll, it’s about affairs not necessarily torrid.

whatevs
whatevs

I tend to agree with MS. as mentioned prior I’ve “down” dated once and have a very busy 5th house. Nothing in the 7th or 8th although my liege has a lot synastry-wise in those houses in my chart.

Ms.
Ms.

This might sound weird but I think having 5th house packed is rad. 7th house doesn’t mean you are balanced either I know some bloody out there ones who cry at the notion of not being partnered/ lonely= alone.

pps. I have NO regrets about any of the shit I ever did. Every scar and bruise is my own in the knowledge I lived. I create awesome spaces with people now and have so much wisdom in my heart and social manner about that would not have been achieved without such bodyslamming

year of the fox
year of the fox

Exactly. 7th house is no picnic.

leogroover
leogroover

but I can’t spell soz

whatevs
whatevs

lol we all have our crosses to bear

belladonna
belladonna

Hey it doesn’t have to be like that – u need to get off that roller coaster because good people deserve the best. I can look back now and see how I was accepting far less than I should have accepted and I am happy to be by myself or with good friends. My self esteem has grown and I will not go back there again. You gain enormous self respect and lose only idiots… never mind conjunct this and oppose that, square whatever..

Ms.
Ms.

This is true you have to make your chart work FOR you, just I think the ladies are having aha’s at the chart like in you become conscious first to know what to heal if you know what I mean

Shay
Shay

O I feel not so alone now 🙂 i am a chronic down dater too.. i fall madly in love and when the fairy dust settles i see them for the people they really are and i want to run a mile… I seem to be in a pattern of breaking up and getting back together with these guys too.. two in particular have followed this pattern. after i have broken up with them my heart aches from being alone, somewhere in there they seem to have redeemed themselves and i seem to have been so unreasonable… we make contact… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

Chronic down dater. Two emotionally abusive relationships (they were employed) and the rest were unemployed. Sun Gem, rising cancer, Venus taurus and saturn taurus. I attract neglectful relationships and become part of the furniture. Think it is more to do with my upbringing though.

Lexicorn
Lexicorn

Hmm… I was thinking I might have more luck if I gave the down-dating a try…?
What is the opposite of down-dating? Like egocentric over-reaching? Over-reach-around-ing??

whatevs
whatevs

“What is the opposite of down-dating?” punching above your weight

don’t do it my stalker was an “opposite guy” phase – trying to reverse the track record of attracting talented wastrels.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Up Dating!

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

but you still have to be yourself and go with your heart otherwise the gloss will wear off and you’ll end up feeling empty.

Ms.
Ms.

I’m not a massive fan of up or down analogies as it implies status as some kind of ladder but Darling, you can never aim to high in love

whatevs
whatevs

You’re right but I tend to think a stalker is definitely a “down” though just read my words and saw they came across in a totally different way to how I meant them after reading yours.

Lexicorn my post was two separate comments – opposite of down dating is colloquially punching above your weight – it’s a man thing apparently + don’t do the down – as in don’t have a social experiment you’ll potentially end up with a psycho on your hands.

And I’m with ms – go sky high

belladonna
belladonna

I’m a magnet for nutters – so much so now that I’m quite frightened of my lack of ability when choosing a suitable partner – they don’t seem like that at the start – they hide it well and by then I’m in deep so hence single status for last 6 mths. p.s they are also very hard to get rid of completely displaying even more nuttiness…

SourPatch
SourPatch

STORY OF MY LIFE. All I can say in my defense is that they appear sane when I first meet them…

Im wondering if its some aspect of my 12TH House Uranus that I’m either not acknowledging or disowning. Oh wait, that is pretty much the story of a 12th house Uranus. 😛

Peta
Peta

oh I soooo hear you

Saggisue
Saggisue

I’m a Sagg and the only two long term relationships I have had have been down-dating a Cancer …both times! Both emotionally inept, rude, self-centred and stuck in the two year old ‘instant gratfication, it’s all about me, the world owes me a living’ kinda mode..meanwhile I raised two kids as a single parent, went back to high school as an adult, got into Uni. completed two degrees, wrote a radio play (produced), completed a novel and have commenced two more…and those two are still in and out of work..burning bridges and…sigh! Yes, I definitely down-dated…did I listen to the… Read more »

amanda
amanda

is there something in the stars right now that are promoting down dating? i just hooked up with this younger, but too immature boy the other day.
He is looking for a Mother but we had a venus square mars composite going so what could i do? Now i’m meeting him tomorrow to help him with his kidney stone problem. But he took me of track and i missed an awesome workshop, whilst he cut his hand on my broken perfume bottle he fell on. I don’t want to down date again.

Plutobunny
Plutobunny

Yep, saturn in leo square venus in gem. That picture definately struck a nerve!

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

I have Saturn conjunct Venus, but worse is Saturn/Venus opposes Neptune. Still I can’t say I down-dated, my troubles lie elsewhere.

Saturn-Venus conjunction often translated as older partners -cue in self-validation. Saturn/Venus-oppose-Neptune is icky. I idealize the person, only to fall flat on my bum when I finally understand the person crystal clear.

Sassy
Sassy

Dont think i have any. My Venus is mostly unaspected it only squares pluto. So exes are always turn into crazy, stalking, obsessive psychos or hang on, maybe thats me.. It goes either way.

Sassy
Sassy

Have the habit of bringing out the worst in weak men.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Don’t we both share a Venus/Sun Cancer Sassy?

Sassy
Sassy

Yes we do. 🙂

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

I find it a challenge!

Sassy
Sassy

The aspect or the bring out the worst in weak men? Or both. lol
It is a challenge. Makes me want to get married again and have lots of babies 😉

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Not sure if I have ever found a strong man? What the hell does that picture look like I wonder?

But babies ….. noooooooooooooooooooo. Scary little creatures.

SourPatch
SourPatch

And I thought I just attracted these people like a magnet. I guess maybe some of it IS my problem too. Ex-Scorpio looked great and charming on the outside (Air Ascendant) but revealed a hypersensitive, jealous, and passive-aggressive nature. Had to admit he isn’t as bad as any of the others, but I’d rather not go there again. Then there was a duplicitious gemini who sent up alot of red flags I chose to ignore (I was on the rebound, go figure). Just an FYI, I ADORE most Gemini men, but this one was a very bad apple. I ended… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Being a Cancer sun and venus, with Gem asc and heaps of air and fire – I kinda get the dichotomy in temprement. We’re not like normal crabs that seek security at all costs. It’s like … I want it .. no I don’t. I want it .. no I don’t. Annoying.

SourPatch
SourPatch

Totally! I can’t decide whether I want spontaneity or a home base. However, after those guys, the latter sounded so much more awesome. I just don’t seem to attract sane people though. Maybe this new ‘career’ status will send out new vibes.

Anemone
Anemone

I have Venus in my first house square Saturn in my 10th and I DEFINITELY have self worth in relationship issues – partners aren’t beneath me in that sense (with Jupiter in the 7th they are always flamboyant) but the feeling is that their lives and dramas are always more important than mine – and the Saturn in 10th (i think?) connection ties it into my relationship with my father where it all began.
Spooky timing Mystic as all this is really in my face at the moment!

andromeda
andromeda

Ha! Hysterical. Yes the Kataka Rebound Boy. And if you want to go for a fully psychotic one, you can always go Israeli like I did! He was really very sweet when he wasn’t being moody, psycho and bringing lightning and darkness wherever he went. I brought out the Devil (capital D) in that guy, most people thought he was beating me up (he wasn’t). But I tried very hard to help him lighten up and he did change. In the end he asked me to marry him. Still, the most embarrassing moment? Having to translate “I am going to… Read more »

andromeda
andromeda

Ooh, plus his Scorp Uranus on my Scorpy Moon.. sudden crazed frenzies of jealousy would occur, though not without reason. And astrologically too.

Has anyone checked out the astro travel section of Astrodienst? I found that where I used to live in south america was the place that, apparently, I would be found most desirable sexually to others. I did get a lot of attention there and vastly less here, for lots of reasons I suppose, but that was my experience anyway.

whatevs
whatevs

astro travel is ace – uncanny I’ve had great experiences using it to find places to live

andromeda
andromeda

awesome! If only it would do astrological profiles of all the potential properties & feng shui them too.. You could pinpoint the exact place you are your most fabulous in the world!!

whatevs
whatevs

hawaii for me

Ms.
Ms.

Berlin/Hamburg/Zurich/Milan all going down the same axis 🙂

andromeda
andromeda

😛 Strangely, London is relaxing, while I get a bit Mercurial in the German zones, I get a bit emo and romantic in France (who doesn’t?) and in north Italy I am a leader, but Athens is meant to be awesome. Want to GO! Ms. I am seeing you all Marlene Dietrich right now..

whatevs
whatevs

you and I have quite similar lines

whatevs
whatevs

do you use the google scalable one? it has more info

Ms.
Ms.

heheh. In my dreams maybe? London is my Hollywood.

You should go 🙂
when time permits

whatevs
whatevs

nice! you’re so cosmopolitan : o)

lucky me, i get alaska also which strangely enough was one of the places the stalker had been lately when we met.

Ms.
Ms.

lol

Catsmeow
Catsmeow

God, I definitely have a habit of putting up with people’s shit longer than I should. Leo sun and Venus in Cancer. I think it’s a bad combination of Leo’s forever-optimism and Cancer’s sentimentality. Even if someone turns out being a right shithead, I always think I can do something to make them a better version of themselves. Part of that could be my Scorpio rising too, maybe. I’m constantly striving for self-evolution AND the evolution of those around me. If I just push them hard enough… Too bad most people stick to their old shitty ways. I continuously stump… Read more »

Catsmeow
Catsmeow

Did I mention my Venus opposes Saturn? And what with my Aqua moon, I can sometimes get a little cray cray myself. I run hot and cold, but it all comes down to how much I like and respect a person. If I don’t like them very much I don’t think much about swinging frigid. Sometimes I can’t be bothered with people’s emotions if they’ve had a history of being inconsiderate of mine. Fuq off, overdramatic and self-obsessed fools!

leogroover
leogroover

CM you have the same lineup as my lusty and yes he shuts up shop whenever I accuse him of ignoring me. Doesn’t suffer fools. I have to be tres gentle with him or he will go outer space which he does often anyhoo. but he has lot of good points so I try and be patient when he takes off in his space ship, he knows I’ll be waiting for him.

Catsmeow
Catsmeow

Oh yes, I almost feel bad but it’s true! Been guilty of the same thing myself. In the past if someone complained that I’d been ignoring them, I’d usually react thus: You have no idea what my indifference REALLY is, so let me show you. I say past ’cause I finally realized that it wasn’t the nicest or healthiest way to do things, and nowadays I’ve tried my hand at being more attentive even if I find it exhausting. Priorities, priorities! I was big into tough love (and still am at my core, honestly), but found that other people are… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Ohmigod ever since I tried to find “lurv” around the age of 30 I’ve down dated!!! Prior to that I always ummm up dated? Well to clarify, they were guys whom offered certain errr … social and economic benefits, were relatively stable and committed to the relationship. Not that I was conscious of this at the time. But they BORED ME. bored bored bored bored. Except for the Gemini film producer with Pisces moon and Mars/Venus Cancer. He just didn’t want to have sex often enough. So the quest began starting with the 10-years-younger Virgo who had a big ….… Read more »

andromeda
andromeda

My Israeli friends tell me the Iranian’s are the blue ribbon PSTD causing specialists! That trumps my Moroccan ex then..

Yes, I have Venus conj. Saturn square Uranus, ‘ix’ as they say..

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

I was pretty confused droms … an Iranian/Jewish mix. He said some pretty bloody strange things and hell what did I know since when I met him, I wasn’t exactly au fait with the culture and politics of the region. I won’t repeat some of his statements because firstly they would be offensive and devisive to some people and secondly, upon retrospect I can see now that the guy was basically psychotic and probably a sociopath. It fuqed with me for a long time. I had Pluto square Moon going at the time. Horrid!

andromeda
andromeda

It’s actually pretty sad isn’t it? The more I learned about that ex’s childhood/culture/history, the more I realised that his poor psyche had been near shattered early on. It made me much more compassionate and take things less personally. Drippy as it sounds, he needed a lot of love and patience as he was essentially in a state of adrenalin swamped fight-or-flight mode permanently. Your guy sounds like he might have been broken though…

Ms.
Ms.

Urgh. I have been on this list as Down Dater. No more though, that was years ago. Transits unsure, too flu to check em but I always thought it was the venus neptune conjunction making everything look like a rainbow. I have venus square saturn natal as well I think but at 5 degrees. Saturn is exact square my Asc though. There was only a couple who were really bad.. Mainly I serve as a education of ‘how to integrate back into society from the wild’ program. Fallen off the edge of reality types tended to take their broken wings… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

we were both nurse 🙂

whatevs
whatevs

LOL if you bring them back from the wild I’m coat-check as they make their way in.

Ms.
Ms.

like breaking in horses

whatevs
whatevs

I’m laid up too – have you been wondering if the genie bra actually works?

whatevs
whatevs

and what happens if someone rubs it?

Ms.
Ms.

breasts heal everything- fact 😀

leogroover
leogroover

My last leo ex was exactly the same Ms a magnet for poor and wayward girls. he is still doing it. I love that I can point it out to him in a not so subtle fashion which of course he ignores. But I can see the train lights a-coming again. I was the best Gf he ‘s had in years my only crime was two kids. *rolls eyes*

Ms.
Ms.

nice crimes.
Leo ex was more attracted to the kind of fast sex but mental girls who end up becoming total nightmares. We laughed how on paper we both had the potential to look like the others usual mess-other. It took very serious incident to realise I need care as well, so now I look for this in partners.
not super woman no more *cue crab with soup*

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

I reckon crabs and leos are a good combo … as long as the Leo is steadfastly loyal and thrilled with the crab’s dedication to food and soft furnishings. And not bothered by periodic reclusive moods and high powered sulks.

Catsmeow
Catsmeow

I’m a Leo and I’ve always adored the Cancer women that I’ve met. Not sure about the men, though! I can’t recall having known any.

whatevs
whatevs

leos enjoy a bit of arm waving and luxury

whatevs
whatevs

oh! that’s not high powered silks…

Lexicorn
Lexicorn

Was just thinking, the only serious down-dater I know is a Leo lass. And she is seriously committed to the down-dating, aware that she is doing it, and feels it is a calculated and successful strategy…

Ms.
Ms.

omg is your friend my friend!> see rant above re professional help needed. said Leo thinks exact thing on successful strategy…

whatevs
whatevs

Mystic you are SO right. I just looked at the transits of the psycho-stalker who came before the aqua and BINGO – venus conjunct saturn on the cusp of 10th/11th opposing natal venus-mercury-pallas athene in the 5th. Chiron was in my 5th and Mars was conjunct my ascendant/lilith. He hated my independence and lack of need for constant contact and always accused me of having affairs with my mainly male friends. All my friends were really concerned this guy might one day attack me – he had the most awful vibe to him that I was oblivious to until I… Read more »

whatevs
whatevs

It’s absurd how right you can be ms medusa. That saturn venus conjunct transit was not only opposing my natal venus but also loosely conjunct my natal saturn AND my natal venus etc is in libra + the transitting saturn venus conjunction was in taurus. Venus is vexatious. All the crappest times I’ve had over the last year I’ve been able to put down to dodgy venus action. I’ve got my eye on that now though. No more rose tinted glasses for this libran.

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

Oh my, other things he did are scary but a BF bringing things to you that you are allergic.. and you survived to tell.

whatevs
whatevs

I KNOW QUADDIE and his insistence that I was depriving myself of opportunities by “claiming” anaphylaxis would ensue. SO ARROGANT he brought me wilted mothers day flowers that I recognised from the petrol station down the road that were so old and so reeked of pyrethrum they could’ve kept a plague of locusts at bay. Venus in libra would rather go without frankly.

Ms.
Ms.

what a scary dude. no wonder you aqua’d afterwards

whatevs
whatevs

his first gift was wildflowers picked on the walk to my house sigh

Quadrupled
Quadrupled

A guy with emotional insecurity is a horrid thing to allow into your life..

Capfire
Capfire

‘aqua’d afterwards’ cracking up..

We are so hard on the poor dears.

Come to think of it I went Aqua too after the Tauras Sun/Aries Venus guy ripped my heart out.

whatevs
whatevs

i went aqua and they’re so f***ing awesome I never went back x

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

omg Aquas are awesome emo-cleansing after the man-compost experiences we have. agree totally. *air! space!*

Ms.
Ms.

god that is funny. I love the KFC rant. class

Ms.
Ms.

the way you write. you know what i mean.xx

Seabird
Seabird

Ha ha, that’s a classic! I had a thing with a bloke who thought KFC was the height of culinary experiences too! But can relate to the topic in another way. I would totally get this. My last was a guy who just liked fishing. He told me early on ‘I don’t think deep’, and it was fairly true. We were pretty happy together. Circumstances forced us apart but we still love each other. And I could picture another relationship like tha one. Just so long as i never have to make excuses for my partner, everything else is legit… Read more »

whatevs
whatevs

totally relate to the fisherman thing – there’s soothing about a person who can sit for hours staring at the horizon with no expectation of an outcome.

whatevs
whatevs

something soothing der

ScorpioRising
ScorpioRising

Did we date the same creep? Seriously, he was obsessed with KFC and Taco Bell all kinds of fast food. But, not out of convenience or was high and snaky but obsessed with it. At 18 I didn’t read too much into it, but he is older and is still obsessed with it. Very strange person indeed. I could write a book on how weird this stalker is. Claims to be an Art Director and hold all these degrees but, never attended any uni or college ever. I’d like to say he is an eccentric and funny character but he… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

ewww yick whatevs … controlling men are nasty emotionally and potentially physically dangerous. Anyone who tries to disrupt friendships and family relationships out of jealousy is a sick fuq … next thing you know they are locking you in the house, stealing your money and identity. Thank god you got away.

whatevs
whatevs

I moved without telling him where I went and somehow he found me. He must have been following me. the weird thing was it wasn’t until he started to diss my friends that the alarm bells started ringing. Like at the time I was so unaware of my own place in my life yet so aware of theirs. I have no idea what that’s about but messing with my friends tipped the scales – they were onto him from the start – all of them gently tried to tell me or were weird and silent when he was around. Maybe… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

you’re lucky to have that foundation that sets off the alarm. Some people don’t have that or in the early days make apologies for it. That’s how women get trapped in domestic violence – usually because they never had a safe base to refer to whether it be friends or family. When a guy tries to isolate you in any way whatsoever – friends, family, work, your usual routine – DANGER DANGER.

whatevs
whatevs

hmmm you would be a great friend prowlers. for me it was just about instinct that I got away but to have a friend who’s able to provide actual rational advice is a big deal. Quality crab soup for the soul.

Ms.
Ms.

god yes. I just finished going through that with a good friend from years ago who was with a guy just like that. She ignored us! and kept at it for 7 years until he dumped her. Now her latent unresolved anger issues come out when she is drunk and she is abusive toward me and says nasty and provocative things. I know she is being a dickhead so it\s not personal but I am trying to get her to see professional help as she has no idea how far gone she is.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

She’s probably feeling deep shame. There’s a domestic violence helpline in all states … you can call them and ask how best to approach your friend. She didn’t ignore you – she was probably forced to choose between him and everyone else in her life who threatened him. It sounds bats, but there’s psychological and emotional reasons why people (espesh women) get stuck in these cycles and simply can’t make good choice for themselves, instead reinforcing nasty old family patterns in their current relationships.

Ms.
Ms.

Sorry Prowlers, I meant to put in everything but domestic abuse in her situation. He had the same style of grooming and control, totally cut off and manipulative to all the usual sick levels but she ended up attacking him actually, once in public at a party. She did ignore our warnings but I’m still here so as long as she gets on track.

ScorpioRising
ScorpioRising

wow. I am glad you got out safe. I just looked at the natal chart of an ex-who still stalks me it’s going on 16 years now and he has dodgy Saturn Venus placements. I wish I had understood astrology better when i first met hi. But, when we met we had our charts read and the astrologer did warn me of his temper and obsessive nature. I just was too young and naive to fully understand. It became glaringly obvious when it was too late to break up easily. I am glad I pay better attention now and am… Read more »

J*
J*

These days it’s not a self-worth issue – but the abusive boyfriend before – absolutely.

Venus in the 2nd house – Saturn opposing in the 8th.

I think some might say there’s some down-dating going on at the moment with my defacto of 17 years, but I’m hoping it’s just a phase he’s going through. He’s been hit with the middle-aged man blues – badly. Being the father of my kids I’m not so likely to throw him to the kerb for being grumpy, sad and unproductive. My fingers are firmly crossed for a brighter future.

hippychic
hippychic

mmm interesting I can see the saturn venus connection. I have been here too many times (Saturn Square moon???), but I have always seen it as a perspective thing. I naturally see the very best in everyone, so even if they are not displaying this in their everyday persona, I can see the amazing person they really are inside underneath etc etc. Problem however is that you usually only experience the outward manifestation of persona, crap and all. knowing about the amazing potential of a person wears off after being immersed in their negative projections after a while. Ha only… Read more »

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

Oh, and I don’t know if my astro contributed to that, can you tell me?
Sun conjunct Saturn, both in Gemini.
Venus in Cancer.
Uranus in Libra.
Is that a bad Venus-Uranus aspect?

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

I do know that my dating the abusive Leo did coincide with some major Pluto transits….rough stuff.

Girl
Girl

Yes, same question, what constitutes a bad Venus-Uranus aspect?

Venus Aries 26°04’10 in house 4 direct
Uranus Scorpio 18°47’48 in house 11 retrograde

I’ve done it. But not even a little bit like that now for some reason.

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

Oh God, yes, Pretty much every long-term boyfriend was either beneath me status-wise, or way more fucked up than me. I HAVE to end that cycle now. Leo ex was not as smart, educated, or sophisticated as me nor would he ever have my earning potential. I made over twice as much money and paid 2/3rds of our rent while he endlessly criticized me for not saving more money. Gee…..you don’t spose I could’ve saved more had I not been carrying the bulk of our expenses, do you? Critical, controlling, and with violent tendencies/anger issues. Yet I stayed with him… Read more »

Anonymous
Anonymous

Yipes, I definitely qualify. My marriage was like this and a number of relationships too. I guess I’m classic astro for this: Venus-Saturn conjunct in 12th house, and Venus trine Uranus. I like people who shake up my life, I think. My friends and family always find my relationships mystifying and even the dudes are constantly telling me I”m too good for them. I have no idea if there is a way to attract more “normal” people (which I don’t care about actually) or more equal partners … you like who you like, yes? Sun in Cancer btw.

lady j
lady j

my friends and i affectionately call down dating “stooping for a gooping” … we prefer to “reach for a screech”.

nocturnal
nocturnal

love the topic (one thats been perplexing me funnily enough) and the choice of image (i love booga in tank girl)! sag sun and sag venus seemingly the ass end of the sag chooses my romantic partners. this has been driving me crazy, i am attracted to brawn over brain, the novelty of the baser instincts wear off and suddenly awaken to realise they dont watch anything with subtitles, dont read, happily follow commercial media as a rule, aren’t creative, intelligent, inquiring etc etc i’m starting to think its a self preservation mechanism for the sag forequarters – theyre doomed… Read more »

nocturnal
nocturnal

and just realised mercury in sag too = foot in mouth disease

no wonder i’m largely (happily) single

these astro charts help make things make sense…

GreyAlien
GreyAlien

My Venus is in Leo (trine Saturn, although squared with Pluto), and I’ve been in a few situations like this.

Somehow I frequently seem to get with those who seem nice, although awkward in one way or another (although this can be endearing). But along the line, about half of those I’ve dated have turned out to be really awful people at times. A good chunk may be my fault for staying with them too long in hopes that they revert back to their happier selves.

GeorgeSand
GeorgeSand

Oooh I was a chronic down dater until I got married. I’m not sure what transit did it though.

GeorgeSand
GeorgeSand

Well duh, I mean, I didn’t date after I got married. Lol!

GeorgeSand
GeorgeSand

Oh should have mentioned multiple Scorp here so I’m thinking it’s tied to sex 🙂

fushiafairy
fushiafairy

transiting uranus met my dark moon lilith in my 7th house. need i say more.