One Million Years BC

Paleo-eating (aka Neanderthin) Paleo-Fitness…Paleolithic living has been huge ever since Pluto went into Capricorn.

Atkins & Raw now seem so pre-Pluto-in-Cap.

The basic premise of the Paleo-peeps is that our bodies don’t know it’s 2011. They think we’re still one million years bc or whatever it was and being fit by running from mammoths all day long, eating raw bison & nuts-berries etc.

Back then there were no desk jobs, no cheese, no wine, no jelly snakes in packets to scoff when pre-menstrual.

So a whole host of modern illnesses can be pinged back to us not being Paleo enough. I get it. It’s logical. Mark Sisson’s Daily Apple site is a genius example of the genre. Super-hard to do paleo-veggo though i’m trying.  Interestingly; both Paleo and Vegans loathe dairy.

My questions:

(1) When is someone going to adapt Neanderthin/Paleo Diet/Primal Blueprint type thinking and do a Paleo Love Guide? It would be very now.

(2) Have any of you tried/being doing Paleo? If so, how have you found it? My theory is that Capricorns really do love it.

(3) How do you think the various Sun Signs would have gone down in Paleo times?  Scorps as shamans? An Aqua inventing the Wheel but Capricorn scoring the marketing rights?

10,000 BC

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84 thoughts on “Paleo-Astro

  1. Libras were meant to have carbs and grains. I seriously think some of the signs don’t so well without grains like Taurus. All the Aries I know do well on this Paleo thing.

    I did Paleo and did not do well without rice and oats. Horrifically constipated without it. Did not matter how many POUNDS of raw veggies or fruit i took in, it did something to my body’s flora that caused serious blockage.

    Libras were making the cave art and making things beautiful and civilized, writing laws to get along and making awesome dreadlocks since there was no conditioner back then.

  2. Aries: The lady/dude who cares for the tribal flame/main mammoth hunter extraordinaire.
    Taurus: Caveman’s caveman, good at most things, particularly gardening and slugging caveladies on the noggin.
    Gem: Smoke signal person/plays drums to communicate to neighbours
    Cancer: In charge of lunar calendar and making delicious herb soups in volcanic stone pots
    Leo: Good at story telling by campfire/having kind of big hair of a type we can’t imagine as we wash a lot.
    Virgo: They are forever neatening up the cave/fireplace etc. when no one is looking. They do lots of great fur bikini sewing with impossibly tiny stitches, just a cm or so each one.
    Libra: Forever adjusting their fur bikinis/mankinis, and trying to make peace between the tribes.
    Scorpio: Yeah, shaman, nuff said!
    Saggi: When not taming the animal world and exploring new territory they are found passed out around the campfire dribbling fermented spit and papaya from last night’s party.
    Capricorn: The leader of the cave. They have teeth when everyone else is toothless, and never break a bone on the mammoth hunt.
    Pisces: They are usually found painting the cave walls or with the Saggi’s passed out around the campfire.
    Aquarius: They are the star-gazers who are always banging on about the fact that we are actually a slave species to some alien gods, couldn’t do without ’em.

    • Yes I can totally see it.
      Aries and Saggo cavemen come to blows over the dividing up of saber-toothed somethingasaurus meat, then a Capricorn elder pokes his nose in suggesting neither techniques are actually the most economical system of spoils division, rocks and bones fly, the Aries ends up visiting the Virgo Witch Doctor, while the Capricorn consults with the Libran council of tribal law. Meanwhile Sagg gets jack of the talking and packs a peace pipe with Pisces, using weeds gene-modified in a Scorpio’s paleo-alchemy-laboratory. Leo turns the whole thing into a ripping yarn that becomes new oral history and fire-dance routine that is dutifully recorded in cave paintings courtesy of Aquarius, and shared with other tribes by pre-historic social media (your Gemini smoke signals).
      Not much has changed really.

      • Ha ha, yes forgot to mention the bit where the Capricorn tries to institute a banking system based around a shell currency (it all fails when the Saggi and Aqua come back from a beach holiday).

    • No, no, no, Virgos came within a mammoth’s hair of extinction during the paleolithic. We’re far too precious to survive in a CAVE! What with dust mites the size of bats?! And if that didn’t wipe us out, having to endure paleo table manners almost finished the job.

      Scorps and Taureans, however, were very much in their element.

  3. yes. am Paleo-nic…

    no, can’t do it if you’re a veggo because SOY not allowed (but did you know how toxic it is anyway??)

    so am no longer veggo and eating fish & raw (no processed food) and zilch dairy.

    I think my love life is also Paleo – as extinct as the Wooly Mammoth.

    • Your diet sounds a good one, I am thinking I should be heading away from lacto-ovo (occasional pesco) vegetarian and a bit more in that direction.

      Lol, and yet 🙁 re the love life! They are doing cloning and will have the mammoth back in national parks soon I believe.. 😉

    • yeah they have to read history books to find my love life! Taurean Alchemist, just before Unpredictable Pisces in volume L-Z 😉

  4. I was hardcore paleo and bikram earlier this year.
    It was working out for me for a few months. Although I was never a big bread eater, I learned how much all grains were hurting me. I felt grounded, sensual, effortlessly happy, and hyper-aware without being manic like when I was vegan. My diet was mostly coconuts, green smoothies, fish, prawns, oysters, lamb, salad, nutritional yeast.

    I have lingering problems with my adrenals/thyroid/digestion that started a year ago after a high-stress period which won’t go away and so am back to highly digestible and cleansing raw food (energy soups, green smoothies, um..apples) and anusara/yin yoga until I figure out what’s going on. Have lost faith in my insurance. Has anyone had luck with traditional chinese medicine or naturopath types?

    But once I am well again I will be back on paleo. My focus and happiness levels were higher than they had been in years.

    • yes… chinese medicine and natropathy have both been very supportive for my physical, mental and emotional health. I also use western medicine but have found complimentary medicine excellent for building up my immune system and healing minor health conditions.

        • you could just try the straight-up chinese clinics. cheapest imo. ive only had acu a couple of times and it was about $60 a session (in sydney, last one was about 6 months ago). supplements are extra, if you buy them.

        • Rache – Fiona Workman, Sydney Nutrition. Try her. She is highly qualled nutritionist, but also into Ayurveda. No flaky bullshit but. Very good. And she will refer you to good people if you need them. You might want to try her.

    • Thyroid levels react to diet. Eg levels of iodine. If you are having thyroid issues you need to monitor the western way.
      Acupuncture defn useful for the energy symptoms though.

      • I was eating a lot of dates, prunes, coconut juice (high in potassium) with no processed foods so I wasn’t getting enough salt on top of adrenal fatigue and low thyroid. I’ve been adding celtic sea salt to my water and food and feeling better already. I feel like a chemistry project! lol

      • I found homeopathy worked for my thyroid problem. it took about a year plus meds but i am completely ok.

          • I too have hashimotos DT (or I’m hypothyroid and they say that’s the reason)
            Specialist told me years ago if the world comes to an end, just eat animal thyroids and you’ll be fine. I think that’s the closest you’ll get to homeopathics if you are hypo.

    • Shell is right. If you have thyroid problems you need them monitored properly. Go to a doctor, have a blood test, see what they say. It’s better to know. I was having problems with my thyroid (apparently it is common in women when they reach their 40’s). Now that my levels have evened themselves out with the help of thyroxine, my metabolism is chugging along quite nicely. And I don’t have to worry about what to eat. I just have to avoid most multi-vitamins as they usually have iodine. I had no luck with acupuncture. It was good old western medicine that helped me with this one.

      • Uber can prob add more to the acupuncture question.
        My thyroid is stable according to blood tests, but I get a bit zinging sometimes and acupuncture is good for that. I went hyper and then hypo and it feels the same. Thyroid issues are liver related in Chinese medicine I believe? I would not use it with the assumption it would fix my levels.
        Tinnitus is an potential warning bell (pun intended) to thyroid issues. No clinical proof they are related, but literature draws links. Chinese medicine too I think. Mine kicked in a year or so before the thyroid packed it in.

    • Hi Rache, have you tried Reiki? I am a reiki Pratictioner so admit bias but its very gently, soothing and powerfully healing. Good luck.

  5. so what is paleo diet? feast or famine? lots of meat raw or cooked? hunting and gathering of seeds, berries and some leafy things? pray do tell, I dont know my ancient history, obviously. I think if we even had half the amount of physical exertion in our daily lives of someone who lived 200years ago or more, we would be fitter, however we may die younger, not have teeth, but still fitter.

    • Stoked! Just answered my own question without trying. Was reading my Australian guide to natural therapies because I’ve fallen out of love with most recent novel, and came across the paleo diet… da da! 35% meat 65% plant food – of course there is the issue that ph post agricultural food is not as nutrient dense now. Well I’m excited with spring coming and getting back into more conscious eating. I have been fairly conscious this winter, but still go for the toast rather than whole foods for brekky. Im thinking soaked nuts, stewed fruit, and quinoa or millet. yum. I would love to eat lots of trout and salmon and do the mostly raw wild meat thing, for sure. But my prob as far as many conscious eating habits go is my love for dairy, Maggie beer said it was her favourite, butter, and I’m pretty close to agreeing. Damn I know I have too much dairy and feel fabulous when I go without, but all those cheeses, coffee with milk, and buttery toast… how could I go without! I love cows!

  6. I naturally gravitate to the paleo diet, tho I never diet per say. I do however get seriously into dairy just after a breakup or when love gets v confusing. I’ve been known to consume Ben & Jerrys vanilla divine ice-cream (only 100ml), plus macadamia & cranberry cheese on crackers & a have a heart all in the same 24 hrs, followed by severe stomach cramps and diarrhea with regret. This I do but maybe once a year or less. But it’s telling me dairy is evil. And then I smoke again for about a packet of cigs and looking the mirror and go – ENOUGH- you’ll ruin your body and yr looks: weird self destruction mode.

    • Dairy is hard to quit because it contains casomorphine in it. It’s a painkiller. You are self-medicating for pain. That’s why no one reaches for celery sticks when they break up.

  7. Haven’t tried a Paleo diet but am very close to living in trees and wearing only hide, and lately been having fantasies about various stone-axe heads and imagining it as the only manual tool for everything . Everything that isn’t plugged in. Stocking up on usb flashdrives and utilizing the cloud is makes good modern paleo sense too. Bugger the portfolio of funds, am gonna hollow out a good thighbone to stash my diamonds in and bury it where climate perils can not dissolve .
    Re the paleo guide to romance , yes, bring it on. Binge drinking has the fundamentals but lacks the refinement.

  8. Big protein and veg eater here! Can only do carbs when they’re wholegrain, fruit sends me fruitbat crazy.

    Went veg in the past, and also went vegan…major unwellness. Different reasons: political, health. Decided if i eat meat should be prepared to hunt, but public outcry prevents me from spearing small dogs and plump babies in parks and streets.

    When i (seldom) eat dairy it’s got to be whole… with the cream. My meat always has fat. I’m lean and muscular by nature. I trust my tongue and go by taste and craving. I cook every meal, unless going out for blisteringly beautiful gourmandisme with perfect service. I hunger every two hours. But food is more than a fuel for me…it must be PLEASURE and that feeds the body. I like texture and strong flavours.

    Used to bite my lovers…YUM.

    One dietary habit does not suit all. Food nazis suck a big fat one.

    • Same. I thought he was checking them out too & thinking how can she store so much fat in there on this frickin diet, is one of them bigger than the other, or maybe just phwoar. Or he’s checking out the man-lure chunk of dried calamari around her neck. He looks like ancestor to Barry Gibb, about to break into song.

      • lol…”Ugg” caveman think. He’s fascinated with her bulbous appendage but can’t quite formulate the distinction.

        Reading these posts, Mystic’s blog is as insanely hilarious as always.

  9. I’ve just started ‘going paleo’ in an attempt to curb allergies and improve overall health, using Mark Sisson’s ‘Primal Blueprint’ as, well, a blueprint … or maybe more of a rough guide. The coffee/chocolate cravings were B-A-D today, so reading this picked me right up – now I feel like I’m totally on trend with Pluto in Capricorn/building a new era type vibe.

    And hey, if following a Neanderthin diet results in being able to strut around in a kangaroo fur bikini with hot looking cavemen – I’m all for it!

  10. I am SO ahead of the curve. Just spent a month doing the Grok girrrl thang. Its Okaaay… but I work better with dairy. Still no grains bar brown rice, and occasional days off for good behaviour. Have lost 40 kilos so far 🙂

    Have Thyroid issues – Hashimotos:
    for thyroidy peeps out there – did you know that Hashimotos predisposes you to coeliacs and vice versa ? Always worth ditching the gluten for 6 weeks if you have Hashis. If you have coeliacs, get your thyroid checked – you will need Free T3, Free T4 and T3 antibodies as well as TSH. Fire any doctor who will only check your TSH. Go to Stop The Thyroid Madness if you need more info (Google it )

    Only thyroidy types with Hashis need to avoid iodine. Other thyroidy types do better with it.

    Any more questions ? Ping me on my blog 🙂 I have a bee in my bonnet about this 🙂 🙂

    • Hashimotos is common after giving birth ? My wife had issues after no.3 but was told it would just get better, that was 8 years ago and just recently her blood tests were totally normal for the first time since the birth. Funnily enough she had no symptoms other than a cracker allergic/hives outbreak a few months after the birth. Turns out it gave her an allergy to aspirin?

      • o my goodness – i think i have to read up on this: after birth of my son, 8 yrs ago, i developed wheat intolerance and aspirin allergy ….

        • ooow, yes, aspirin as in Salicylic acid the active ingredient is in lots of yummy things, mangoes, peaches, etc.. we are pretty sure now though that the since the thyroid antibodies are normal that the salicylic allergy may be gone.

  11. SO i hire a mammoth as my personal trainer to chase me around Jurassic Park and i get the lady bod in the top picture. YES. I am also taking it that stone agers did not do chardonnay?

      • Check out the book “Wild Fermentation” – most things (including dead goats, apparently) – ferment if given the opportunity, due to naturally occurring yeasts.

        Chardonnay ? Probably not. Fermented anything else ? Definitely. Plus a truly mind-bending array of psychedelics….

        From a Paleo diet perspective, red wine is OK. Dry white wine is quite low in carbs, as is champers. Just forgo the beer, cider (sob!) and Reisling.

  12. Talking about ‘paleo’ daughter got her nose pierced yesterday…not happy Jan.

    • I got my nose pierced when I was eighteen. My Mum didn’t talk to me for a month. Luckily I was living in the UK at the time, and didn’t notice – these were the days before skype….

      Just be glad it wasn’t her nipples ! (I had that done when I was 25 – Mum – horrified, but also curious. It REALLY hurts !!!!!!Not recommended :P)

    • Could be worse, buddy, better than tats!

      or conforming to what u want (soz but not healthy in the long run)

    • I wouldn’t worry about it. Nose piercing is so mainstream now esp the kind that is the side of the nose rather than the septum. Besides, it’s an easy thing to disguise with jobs and what not. She’ll probably grow out of it anyways.

    • Totally empahthse D. Son threatened lip piecing. Big no no for teeth, But he eventually did his own ear without telling me . its cool.

      • Apparently the guy who pierced her had a split tongue with thick studs thru both sides, it turned her stomach a little, which is a good thing, she might just stop at the nose ring now.

    • got my nose pierced once- as if shnoz needed notice me *bling- but Toro Moon could not hack it twirling around and was futzing with it constantly- I don’t know What Mars was up to then. no good obv. ha looks good on others, but not for moi…

  13. I work with a Capricorn who is INTENSE about his paleo diet (not vegetarian, though). Likes to rant about how evil grains are.

  14. Too funny. That’s basically been my diet for the past couple of years. Didn’t know there was a name for it and yes I’m a Scorp Sun and Cap Asc. Have to say I haven’t felt and looked better in my entire life. 🙂

  15. Yeah, I’ve been trying the Gabriel method which goes: our bodies only understand 1) Freezing
    2) Starving or
    3) Being eaten.
    So the trick is to convince your body that it is advantageous to be thin as there are marauding cave lions about, so that no matter how much food you stuff in your gob, you won’t add weight. But I haven’t been doing too well, working on other stuff more.

    Also, my therapist has kind of developed her own theories re: childrearing. That is, men cannot raise children properly: Their brains are hardwired to go mammoth hunting in groups of men, then occasionally head back to the cave to eat the meat cooked by the women and have sex.
    Emotional support and empathy are concepts completely foreign to men, which is why they are flummoxed when prompted on these issues.

    This has also been my experience in the dating pool.

  16. omg we had this conversation at work today from certain hot actor and I got a whole lecture about grains, will check his sunsign tomorrow.

  17. I suspect a lot of this buzz about Paleo-diet will be short term. I even call it faux-Paleo. Because to be true Paleo you have to live the lifestyle…
    that is….
    get rid of your toilet and squat to do #1 and #2. Our bodies haven’t evolved to use toilets.
    …start wearing very little clothing. Clothing blocks your sunshine to get Vitamin D. Back in the old days, there were no Vitamin D fortified foods and very few foods have vitamin D in them. 30 min a day of sun on just your arms is not enough.
    —See if your employer will let you take frequent breaks to go for a walk/run. lol.


    People will do the diet, but there’s much more than just the diet.

  18. No diets for me, been there done that. If I want to shape up I excessive. But I do try my best to have meals and snacks that are high in protein. Like a waffle for breakfast will wear off fast, but a waffle with PB on it will last on me longer.
    I don’t eat this way for my tummy, I eat this way cause it’s better for my brain power.

    And I eat everything else too I don’t avoid eating carbs, fruit, veggies, dessert. They just are not my highest food priority. But part of a balanced diet.

    Gemini Rising, Aries Sun, Scorpio Moon, Aquarius Mars, Capricorn Saturn/Uranus/Neptune.

  19. My Earth Moon is so sick of all these pretentious diet fads. Plus I can’t stand the idea of eating bland food 24/7.

    • But seriously, whenever I’ve gotten back into shape it was by eating in moderation and activity. Nothing special there. I come from a culture that’s plant and grain based so giving up carbs is a foreign concept to me….I’ve never needed to as long as I wasn’t sedentary.

  20. Quite a bit of research is available now on how periods of starvation actually give longevity. There is nothing else apparently that can guarantee a longer life than these stints of starvation. Studies were done on prisoners of war, holocaust victims etc. Apparently the starvation resets the body clock to ‘slow’ apparently giving an extra 10 or 15 years over the norm. It makes sense to me that eating less, a lot less, is quite good for your body. I went thru a period in my life when I was eating only one meal a day and at the time never felt better or I’m told looked better. I’m 52 but most people pick me as 10 years younger most of the time, I put it down to those years of eating to the minimum.

    • ok 3rd and final message. dL how did you deal with working / periods where you had to think / focus, and hunger? i’m guessing an early-lunch type arrangement would be best, lots of protein and fibre to sustain. atm i am so busy and eating less as a result, but by end of class at ~6pm i am low blood sugar and a tad strung out. (maybe a decent meal at brekky wld help)

      • I wasn’t working at the time , living in a hut in the bush, not sure if I could have been running around in the city and pulled it off. I would eat at about 2pm usually lots of rice, beans, etc. with little fruit snacks morning, late evening. I was writing a bit and meditating a lot.

      • jeez i’m a gem rising too, hoping this teenager thing continues thru my 30s… i am spending a lot of time around uni students and it’s refreshing (and a little…wtf) but BOY do i feel the age gap :\

  21. Paleo doesn’t work for this virgo, I can handle grains just fine but lots of meat? nope, makes my stomach angry. Eat huge amounts of veggies but also fruit and dairy and then a lot of whole grains, beans and some nuts and fish and once in a blue moon some chicken. And a lot of chocolate obviously. Leo’s and aries seem to do paleo well, but most people i know, regardless of sign stop after a few months and go back to grains.

  22. Aspirin interferes with your blood’s clotting action. When you bleed, your blood’s clotting cells, called platelets, build up at the site of your wound. The platelets help form a plug that seals the opening in your blood vessel to stop bleeding. ‘:.”

    See ya later