Short Form Astro

You know guys, that there are dozens of different transits to your chart that you can follow every day, if you want to go insane. It’s always worth drilling down to the major one or two – maybe three and just grappling with those.

Eg; for me, at the mo, it’s just non-stop Saturn (with some Jupiter oomph to keep me endorphined) and so why worry about a Ceres Return or something when i am, in fact, Saturn’s bitch. Or Saturn’s bitches gimp. Gimp’s gimp? I’ll run a spreadsheet and get back to you.

But it occurred to me that there is an even shorter form of astro then just figuring out your transits du jour. You just take your Sun Sign and go off the key planetary influences there at the mo. Only one for each sign.

So fast. So effective? Let’s see if this resonates with you guys…Here are your current Short Form Astro Delineations.

ARIES: Hyperbolically manic and restless-crazy-bats, energy fluctuations, ingenuity, can’t sit still – thank you Uranus in Aries.

JUPITER: Appetites through the roof already – that’s ALL appetites – Thing Lust, food cravings, nymphomania etc – Go Jupiter.

GEMINI:  Reverting to teenage values as sort of relapse from the turgid years of Pluto opposing in Saggo.

KATAKA: Intense realizations, non-stop Zap Zoning but this is just the Eclipse; Crab Peeps are Zen Noire again by mid-July.

LEO: Neutral but they sense that Neptune is cruising back for another Surreal Love and Nebulous Enemies crack at them in Aug.

VIRGO: Quietly grappling with the fact of their ‘non-performing-to-standard-expectations’ love life and doing BIG fantasy crushes/deep secret inner imaginary love lives.

LIBRA: Saturn to the Max. Health-Wealth. Tooth-Bone. The only way they can survive is by running everything through the Saturn template. Bitched up but will suddenly realize that they’re blindingly successful and hot soon, albeit still in a really bad mood. DO NOT FUQ WITH LIBRANS NOW. They only LOOK fluffy and mani-pedi obsessed.

SCORPIO: Enjoying a sense of heightened impulse, freedom and choices in their love lives. It looks bats from the outside. They care not.

SAGITTARIUS:  Eclipse Hangover, channelling existential crap into fitness benders.

CAPRICORN: Way more dark, underworldly and seething beneath that patrician exterior then you might think. Scheming. Blame Pluto, of course.

AQUARIUS: Even more spaced out than usual but they’ve actually gotten really magical and advanced. Hatching some major ingenuity in between mourning the last 15 years. Some regrets.

PISCES: Freaking everyone out with the grandness of their visions. Individuating re their love-relationship desires. Finally. Operation Geisha is over.

YES? NO?