Uranian Dating

 

Sam Samore

“…WHO is fussing about having an actual date??  Dates are passe.   It’s like a job interview in a cocktail dress.  Please.  “Hanging out” is now.  Dates are like a fuqing contract negotiation post union strike where a few workers got killed on both sides of the table and you have to navigate between corrective action, a fresh start and guilt.   In fact, I actually feel dates are elitist and upper class shit.  You know, peasants just get ON with it….”

So La Femme Uranian emailed me this and a whole rant besides & it reminded me of when i had Uranus ON my Venus and we had the Venus-Uranian Club.

If you have your Venus anywhere in the early degrees of Aries, Libra, Capricorn or Kataka go back and revive the thing. Because you are having a Uranus-Venus transit and there is a LOT of good material in the comments there. It should be turned into a guidebook.

But okay, I completely relate to what La Femme Uranian says about dating. Like why?

And then i remembered that i have Venus opposite Uranus natally. It’s a loose opp but there is it is. And Aqua Rising. And Uranus with Mars…so i complain about Uranians and their fuqed dating paradigms but i AM one.

What is the Uranian Dating Paradigm?

Just hanging out, never-defined connections, random chemistry that nobody mentions because that is just too insanely bourgeois, the Expectation as Endo-Toxin…Space is an aphrodisiac narcotic.

If you have any sort of Uranus going on whatsoever: Strong Aquarius, Uranus aspecting Sun-Venus-Moon-Mercury-Ascendant-Mars, you may as well get with the Uranian Dating paradigm.

Thoughts?

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Blue Moon
Blue Moon

Yeah
I always say, “I don’t date. Dating is for monogamists and I’m fundamentally against enforced contractual monogamy purely because it brings out the worst in me.”
I LOATE the whole dating concept and agree that it feels like a job interview with the man as boss. Consider how much time, money and energy women put into it versus men. Then consider the hidden agendas. Gives me the shitz. I don’t need anyone to “buy me dinner” like fuq what is this the 50’s?
Can we cut to the chase already?

MysticMan
MysticMan

OMG… sounds like my Aqua girlfriend. Mind you, I LOVE this about her. I’m pisces and her total disregard for convention suits me perfectly. In fact, just last night we sat around laughing our asses off reading Mystic Medusa’s astro guide about each other. What makes her so alluring is her fabulous aqua brains combined with a playful leo moon and incredibly sweet cancer rising. I’ve never dated Aqua women before, so I’m delightfully blown away at the depth of our connection, which is a Pisces must. BTW, my moon is cap with sag rising, so it’s even more hilarious… Read more »

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

Yes, I think I’m probably mega Uranian and experiencing opposition my Venus right now.

Aqua ascendant…Uranus in the 8th house (what does that mean), and BOTH Mars and venus in early degrees of Kataka.

Just had final blowout with the overly-critical/sometimes sadistic Leo bf. SO ready to be appreciated, but most of all….NO LONGER RESTRICTED!!!!

Herby
Herby

Has anyone else noticed that the minute Mystic posts anything even slightly related to sex we all comment away big time. 😉

But when the post can’t be turned into something about sex we are much quieter? Or is it just me … *cheeky grin* …

Bluesky
Bluesky

It’s a hot topic

bluelibra
bluelibra

It’s you babe. 🙂 And me. 🙂 And everyone else. 😀

year of the fox
year of the fox

Mystic knows her audience well! =)

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯

Herby
Herby

Are you ever going to share the secret of the bug eyes? I totally love ’em

Baristagem
Baristagem

😯 😯

Anonymous
Anonymous

lol herby yep i noticed that ages ago x

Red Head Gem
Red Head Gem

Uranus-Venus transit indeed!
Got my venus in 0.27 Cancer and just met the sexiest male model. AND we got the whole Mars-Venus chemistry thing going on so its double trouble. By far the most attractive man Ive started a relationship with. And it was straight to bedroom with us, no date in sight. And now I find out it’s from the stars!

Herby
Herby

I have Sun, Venus & Saturn sextiling Uranus, and Mars & Moon trining Uranus. I’m not sure whether they mean anything but I do know that I have never dated. I’m a straight into the bedroom person too (if I have a chance). Fortunately, I am slightly shy in initiating horizontal activity so the other person would usually have to start it. But if we haven’t made it to the bedroom by the second or third time we meet I doubt we’re going to go anywhere 😉 My wife and I met on a Friday night. We saw each other… Read more »

Bluesky
Bluesky

Herby, you’re a Virgo, right? See, we’re not virginal at all! Almost the opposite. I’m just fussy about “who.”

Uranian&Plutonic Virgo
Uranian&Plutonic Virgo

I second that. *nods vigorously about the “who” selectiveness*

year of the fox
year of the fox

I don’t get why people think Virgos are “virginal”…wtf?

Bluesky
Bluesky

Early on this classic description of Virgo made me think astrology was really off base and stupid. It always irritated me. “Why can’t they get it right?!” LOL, so Virgo! It finally annoyed me so much I had to try to learn astrology myself so I could “fix” it. Or get it right, myself 😀

fallen angel
fallen angel

@year of the fox: cause they’re using a Ye Olde Astro Book and didn’t get the memo.

I’m Virgo Rising. Trust me. The only thing Virginal about me is a costume. Schoolgirl anyone?

Ms.
Ms.

think its meant in the previous meaning as to ‘woman who owns herself’ ie unmarried like -not the sexual meaning applied later

fallen angel
fallen angel

that makes way more sense.

monte
monte

Whole unto themselves. Virgos guard their essence. More secretive than Kataka.

Herby
Herby

Oh yeah! Mega virgo. And I’m definitely not virginal 😉

Herby
Herby

I assume the ‘who’ fussiness is about not limiting the field to 50% of the population. 😀 I’m so there … why limit options … never seen the point really 😉

Herby
Herby

I just told my wife about this comment. Her response: ‘I was so disappointed that you didn’t come home with me the first night’. 😉 … And she didn’t mean to come home for dinner or a night cap 😉

Bluesky
Bluesky

😀

FireyBovine
FireyBovine

standing beneath lightbulb flash – giggling @ sagg rules above and realisation of uranus opp. sun and square midheaven … enough said. i have been on a couple of dates. i laughed a lot at the date. one of them was especially memorable. but yes, generally, people/love just sort evolves. usually, at aries/venus speed.

vanillabean
vanillabean

IM HANGING OUT with 3 diff . dudes this week. they all excite me in different ways..i went through a dry spell… no action since xmas! but when it hits it hits!!! even my ex is trying to get with me now . i love these uranian sex spells.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

For V day all of us (5) therapists and office mgr. got Cancerian Chiro doc & his wife a gift certificate for his fave Thai restaurant and a goodie basket full of all kinds of naughties.

One of them was “anal ease” gel… (Aqua, Gem Moon office mgr’s idea).

He thinks we’re all insane. Was hilarious and he didn’t even blush.

😯 😆

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Actually, he’d said his other tube ran out. He’s Aqual Moon, Gem Mercury.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Later, a delivey came. Office mgr. called out “hey doc, more anal ease!”

Told the girls “his wife don’t know what she’s in for”…. lol

Baristagem
Baristagem

😆 😆

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

😆

Aquafleur
Aquafleur

No, can’t remember ever going on a date. Doesn’t that just happen in the movies. Can’t really relate. Not sure about where and what degrees things are, but believe I have sun and 4 other planets in Aquarius. I feel abit sick inside at the thought of going on a date. Job interview in a cocktail dress sounds about right…..lol

SourPatch
SourPatch

When I first read this I was like…eh? Then I thought about it for a minute and realized I’ve never actually dated before. The only time I’ve been on “dates” was when I was in my only real relationship.

-Mars Square Uranus
-Capricorn Asc w/ Saturn conj. Uranus in Sag/12th
-Gemini Venus

aqualala
aqualala

Also, regarding online dating –nonononononononononono, and no. There may be a few Real People, but I’m not wading through the ax murderers, players, and sloths to find one.

aqua lion
aqua lion

Prowlncrab, You Rock! I am going to copy-n-paste your bitch posts ranting (I mean valuable and totally justified venting of steam) and forward them to all me girlfriends! Yay, so succinctly put. If I am in a really slightly stirring mood tomorrow, I will copy them and stick them up on my cubicle at work (there is always good stuff from this site!) After I posted my John Lennon fantasy (ps he wasn’t dead or old, just how he was about 40) – I did realise that I DO have high expectations for the guy, IF I am into him.… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

OMIGOD HOW AWESOME

When you post it on the cubicles and so forth can you do it like this:

THE BITCH RANTING POST
a place to vent your justified spleen about everything that sucks

obviously the top headline has to be big bold and not in some dumb font like comic sans or ariel … it has to be in a BIG CRANKY FONT, you know to get the message across appropriately. The rest is just for descriptive purposes..

Then everyone gets to write on there. Print it on A3. Provide a pen.

Wow wouldn’t the results be interesting?

:mrgreen:

bull with sting in tail
bull with sting in tail

ohh prowlers,

Has been an edifying post.

ROFLMAO.

but i qualify as the antithesis of deserved respect given your prosaic declamation of the rites of the bull

Still , im laughing

andromeda
andromeda

Some of these dating tips are positively Uranian –
#4 finds that scaring the crap out of a guy makes him more seductive!!!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/blog/2011/feb/14/valentines-day-dating-tips-scientists

andromeda
andromeda

Have no Uranus going on at all. The only thing in Aqua is Lilith? I love hanging out. Never really dated.. (Just this once, a blind date, with a newly divorced older guy..that didn’t work). NN in the 7th, guilty of serial monogamy. I probably have one of those trines that means I will put up with all sorts of crap, happily my partner is truly wonderful. GemHub is super Uranian (Aqua Rising, Uranus grand trine to Saturn & Ascendent) but he has 4th House Sun, Kataka Moon, so deep need for homely nurturing in favour of space. More remote… Read more »

aqualala
aqualala

Aqua sun, Scorpio moon, Mercury and Venus in Capricorn, Mars in Aries. I don’t know what most of that means, but I feel really strong just lately. I have a long laundry list of necessary qualities (for dating or whatever), but if the attraction is really strong, it’s somewhat flexible. Somewhat. There’s too much pressure in dating. I prefer to meet up for dinner or a drink, or to spend a day or afternoon Out Someplace, preferably near my car so I’m able to manufacture a fast getaway.

plutonic gem
plutonic gem

this public emo manipulation is in such bad taste

aqua lion
aqua lion

I have Venus at 29.5 degrees Gemini (nearly Cancer), so I guess Uranus is hitting on it right now. I also have Venus square Pluto square a whole lot of other stuff. Could explain last nights dream… I was with John Lennon, twined around him very intimately (and comfortably). We were making great music (I do mean actual music, piano and singing). I felt a bit of a cheat as I was working in lots of tunes since 1980 (when he died sadly) and there he was thinking I was a musical genius for coming up with this stuff. But… Read more »

Savannah
Savannah

Dating is like having your butterfly wings picked off very slowly. Too naff and angsty especially in the early days. All that messing with your clothes & hair, praying you don’t trip over, the dumb arse convo it’s like an inquisition! Shudder!

Going out somewhere when you know them is far more fun even then I’d rather hang out in the big shed.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Aw, so sweet again D. My Cancerian daughter’s Gemini boyfriend got me a boquet.

Saw all the kids today (13th here tho), but Libran Gdaughter made me a little funny heart person I put on the fridge and a homemade card with my name “Nani” and last name (cracks me up ) and address on the envelope….

Precious.

Lauren
Lauren

Thanks Mystic! I was just reading the review of “The Gods of Change: Pain, Crisis and the Transits of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto” by him. I’ll see if I can order it through the bookstore, since I know their “new age” section is sadly ever shrinking.

Libraquarius
Libraquarius

It’s a terrific book, I really love the work of Howard Sasportas.

Lauren
Lauren

I’d like to read up more on Uranus and its influence in astrology. Can anyone recommend a book on the subject? Any other recommendations for any outstanding astro books (or other subjects) would be appreciated as well. I have gift cards to the bookstore that I need to use. Cheers!

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

And by the way … what’s the box and dice about sleeping in the same bed? What the hell is that all about? Can’t stand it. Never could. Why would I want to deal with male sleeping habits? – snoring, excessive farting. Just hate it. The toro always had some weird attitude towards doonas and had some overheating problem. He farted badly. The piscean had the worst farts I’ve ever had to encounter, let alone his snoring – sometimes I wondered if he was about to choke to death – and yes in the midnight hours I wished he did.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

the other Toro mumbled in Bogan when he was asleep.

the virgo wouldn’t have cared if I was dead when he was asleep and also stole the blankets.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

shut it Damons … not in the mood. Of course I was married to or in LTR with all.

whatevs
whatevs

lord of the rings?

Lauren
Lauren

Long term relationship, I think.

whatevs
whatevs

HAHAHA thanks lauren that makes a lot more sense

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

ok in the mood now! ;P

year of the fox
year of the fox

They have Beano for that. I started putting it in some of the Toro’s drinks after awhile. Is it just me or he male Bulls have some James Joyce-ian things about farts?

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

I bet on closer inspection we would discover that they indeed have four stomachs … two for actual eating, one for thinking about what to eat next and the fourth to store all the gas! 😉

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

That’s sweet D and sounds like a great hang/date 😉

~im to beside my self that i am actually in a car with someone i really like~

They say while women obsess about their naked bodies when with a man, he is just usually “too beside himself” that he’s actually with this lovely creature and gets to touch her, etc… 😉

whatevs
whatevs

oh thank god that heels thing was like you had turettes – you have a good heart damons.

Libraquarius
Libraquarius

Haven’t dated since I met my husband and we roared into bed the first night and stayed together ever since. Didn’t even meet him on a date, just synchronicity through a friend. Thank god I don’t have to go through that shit. No, wait, I wouldn’t subject myself to that sort of crap, I’m too bone idle now to cater to men’s vanity and up-themselves-ishness..

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

That was exactly how my mother felt after a 31 year marriage LL. She was going to do her life her way, damn all…

Libraquarius
Libraquarius

Good on her, pity more of us women don’t do that. Live for today, babe, and stop hanging around waiting for Mr Right because he might never eventuate and you look back on a life of waiting instead of a life well lived.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Not a selfish Aries mind you (who moi?) …but do love my freedom…

Sinatra a Sagg square Jupiter in Pisces. Mom was Sagg rising with Jupiter in 1st.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0RizAGW-bM

T
T

This thread is totally turning into a dating Airing of Grievances for me, lol. And I’m not even PMSing!

Raché (Aqua/Tauri)
Raché (Aqua/Tauri)

Venus at 0 degrees Cap. So Pluto is affected as well?

I’m LOVING this nutty transit! I met a Pisces with Venus, Mercury, Mars, and rising all in Aquarius while traveling solo this summer and now we’ve become this crazy vagabond pair running all over the world to see one another and live together.

Homeboy is a number theorist/genius at trading the markets/entreprenurial philanthropist and all around goofball with some seriously creepy psychic abilities…best of both worlds.

And I’m a philosophy major/um…professional hula hooper/just sold a screenplay

I’ve got Merc and Jupiter in Pisces as well…

Raché (Aqua/Tauri)
Raché (Aqua/Tauri)

Will also add that I moved in with him the first day I met him but we spent the first three weeks just hanging out…beach, electronic music, vino, dancing, cooking, exploring, talking talking talking talking. We were both so concerned about protecting our identities and had a lot of power struggles at first so we moved really slow and were wary of developing lasting feelings and being vulnerable. [Typical Aqua shit] But once we finally admitted that we weren’t Vulcans and decided to “officially” give it a shot, 100% in. Also, is it just us or do Uranus peeps hate… Read more »

Lauren
Lauren

I know I do. I’ve never really celebrated it, even when I’m in a relationship. I feel the same way about V-day as I do about obligatory gift giving. It’s always best and most appreciated when it’s random and non-expected. That way I know that some thought actually went into it, instead of worrying about what to do, what to give and where to go on that one day in February. And then *sigh* having to listen to all the things that other couples have done and turning it into a contest. Hate it. My Aqua ex insisted on doing… Read more »

Raché (Aqua/Tauri)
Raché (Aqua/Tauri)

I’m the same. V-day is totally awkward to me…like I feel awkward WATCHING people who get super into it.

I make an effort most of the time, but I’ll only give people Christmas gifts if it was something that really stood out as very THEM. Otherwise something I cooked, a nice bottle of wine and a handwritten card-letter that I put thought into.

Also known to randomly surprise people I love with gifts that made me think of them. I think it means so much more and who doesn’t love a surprise?

bluelibra
bluelibra

Whoa! Bless Rache. 🙂

Raché (Aqua/Tauri)
Raché (Aqua/Tauri)

It gets hectic though. I’m a triple fixed sign but threw all the stability out the window to grow and not get stuck. I like scaring myself. 🙂

Reminds me of this quote…
“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” – Colette

I try and realize it every day, but I have my “WTFAMIDOING?! I’m a fraud!” moments

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Cap Moon, Venus in Taurus, Cap Saturn in 7th doesn’t mind getting to know someone first before just jumping into bed. Suppose one could “hang out” (more casual approach) then use the term “dating” but at my age, ‘do you want to hang out’ sounds almost ridiculous. No, I don’t mind a proper date. My ex Cancerian husband picked me up at a certain time on a particular day and brought me presents and took me to night clubs (with belly dancers 😉 . Eventually we did live together for six months before getting married. Whenever Aries Sun-Merc trine Uranus… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

thats a really good point and one I was about to make differently Suppose one could “hang out” (more casual approach) then use the term “dating” but at my age, ‘do you want to hang out’ sounds almost ridiculous. it’s expected a certain maturity /seriousness is brought to the table with age and as is with BDSM – because your purpose is clearly stated by the asking in the first place. I hung out all the time when I was younger but as I age with all the specifics- it’s super clear what is and what isn’t. You’ve been there.… Read more »

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Yes, no pretense would be refreshing!

T
T

I also prefer getting to know someone before getting involved, but it’s hard for me because as I mentioned above, I hate dating. It always feels so awkward and forced–maybe I just need to do it more, in case I’d become more comfortable. I’d much prefer to just hang out, but ugh, so many guys I know seem so eager to rush into serious relationships, contrary to the stereotype of women being the clingy, marriage-hungry ones. And they take even the most mild rejection SO personally. I do tend to attract basket cases, though, and I don’t know why. I’d… Read more »

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Heck, I haven’t been in a relationship in five years…”Would you like to go for an ice cream cone?” would be comfortable and meanwhile I’d see what flavor he picks and ask his birthdate, etc. and go home and secretly do his astrology!

Did that one time with a Scorp I was very attracted to. Saw that his venus square Pluto could be dangerous and it would have been a love triangle (I’ve mentioned it here before). At least he was honest and I could pass…

T
T

Astrology is such an awesome secret weapon for dating! I remember one guy who was really into me and I couldn’t figure out why–we didn’t have anything in common, and I knew I wasn’t his regular type. I did his astro and it turned out he had Venus in Scorpio!

I have to admit I used that little bit of knowledge to my advantage for awhile, even though I knew nothing serious would come of it. He was very, very cute. 😉

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Really do think it’s important and fair to give the poor peep a chance (without the astro psycho analysis) but I peek anyway.. hehe

Ms.
Ms.

hmm is this what pluto sq venus is?
I have possible on the horizon

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Well, “dangerous” to me was because I felt already felt a certain intensity towards him (met him in a Thai restaurant we both frequented) and knew it would be intense and hard to let go if I got attached and he had his ‘other’ at home with the children. To have done so and known would be all on me and I was still a bit raw after the Pisces (damn water men…lol)

Yikes, just too complicated and I didn’t want just a roll in the hay.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

And besides, I wouldn’t knowingly do that to another woman….EVER…
That just enables bad behavior as far as not being honest to the other party.

I give that Scorp lots of credit for his honesty as he gave me a choice which is often sorely missing when either gender is not honest.

Ms.
Ms.

hmm yes I see now. said triangle is not the same sort. more his best friend has same crush..

yeah that one never ends well. good call sweetpea

Herby
Herby

Like Ms said, probably a good call. Married men (or women) are just messy situations. Even if the marriage is pretty much over there’s still always loose ends to tidy up. I can’t imagine having a screaming ex on the door step is much of a turn on, not even during the early ‘can’t keep hands off each other’ stage.

Not to mention the worry that he’ll never break up and that you end up with no one anyway …

Baristagem
Baristagem

Date?? 😯

I say lets cut the crap & get into the bedroom, we can talk there!

😀

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

You party animal Gem. That can be fun too….”but will you love me tomorrow?” (starts the chorus)

ahahahaha..

😆

Baristagem
Baristagem

Of course I will love you tomorrow!

😆

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Knew I could count on you Gemmy. Of course our Gemini stuff would talk all night about all and sundry! 🙂

bun
bun

Ha ha, such a great post. Just even thinking of going on a “date” makes me cringe with embarassment. Call it ANYTHING but that. A tryst. Hanging out. Whatever. Natally my sun and mars are in Aqua in the 8th and 7th house, respectively.
This transit stuff has me a bit spooked though, I have the venus, pluto, vesta transit action all sitting on my natal venus / eros conjunction in the 6th house capricorn. I cant decide if this means I will have insane, fated chemistry with someone met through work, or I will acquire a stalker. Thoughts?

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

Strong Uranus? I guess Aqua Mars & NN in the 10th and Uranus squ Sun and trine Asc constitutes a strong Uranian theme? Also have Jupiter opposite Uranus transit on the go – and well I guess a square to Venus which is at 0 degrees. So dating thoughts …. PUKE. VOMIT. GET THE FUQ OUTTA MY FACE. Not to put too finer point on it or anything. Can’t stand the thought of all that mucking around with my appearance so that some guy might deem me physically attractive, which is about the only thing that seems to be important… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

and as for those dating sites ……. UGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH Here’s how it seems to go: “I’m a laid back kinda guy, really enjoys life and liks the simple things.” Interpretation: I am a git with no education, a brain the size of a stunted pea who never thinks much beyond my penis and how much beer is left in the fridge. “I really don’t like these sites and I’m super picky – but I’ll give it a go and see what happens.” Interpretation: I got my photo off a male modelling site and am desperate for sex with anything that has… Read more »

bluelibra
bluelibra

Down to Earth = boring as batshit. Laid back = bored, boring. G8 SOH = thinks MAD comics & Benny Hill are up there with fart jokes and laughing beer foam through the nose.

Likes to treat a special girl like a lady = expects dinner to be served at 6pm sharp, doesn’t believe in oral sex unless receiving, thinks you should be seen but not heard in exchange for the occasional turn behind the steering wheel of his second second hand car….

oh dear

Lauren
Lauren

Yep, that’s pretty spot-on! 😉

T
T

A lot of my friends have been giving me crap for not trying online dating–the whole concept is so unappealing to me. I want to meet someone I feel a spark with, not choose a guy based on a list of character traits, like I’m ordering him out of a catalogue or something. And as you mentioned, it’s WAY too easy for people to completely misrepresent themselves. I’m suspicious of everyone as it is, I don’t need any extra encouragement! I’ve tried telling my friends that if I meet someone, cool. If I don’t, okay. I’d rather be alone than… Read more »

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

“… Meanwhile, all their relationships are completely dysfunctional, but they’ve convinced themselves that everything’s okay because they’re afraid of being alone.”

You nailed it. The dysfunctionality I see and the excuses I hear on both sides make me depressed, especially when it’s backed up with justifications like “but that’s what relationships ARE … it’s NORMAL.” Well ok maybe normal for some, but I’m not prepared to accept that kind of compromise. I’m not going to live with someone who speaks to me like I’m their property. I see women doing this far worse than men btw.

whatevs
whatevs

You mean women treating men as if they own them? YES it caves my head in – that ain’t love. It’s some kind of perversion of it.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Had someone grab my ass one time and say “this is mine”. Wouldn’t have minded if he had been respectful otherwise. Otherwise I was just a possession and in the end, no, that is not a compliment.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

I could state countless examples whatevs … but they include both sexes. I personally find it heinous. If the parties involved where somehow made better by this synergistic arrangement I might understand. But all I see is hiding, duplicity, fear, dependancy and lying. I’ve been there sooo many times within my own relationships and just reached a point that I cannot participate in that stuff anymore.

aqualala
aqualala

There are worse things than being alone.

whatevs
whatevs

absolutely – the couple thing can go waaay wrong if you don’t keep an eye on it and stir it when necessary.

Uranian&Plutonic Virgo
Uranian&Plutonic Virgo

“so that some guy might deem me physically attractive, which is about the only thing that seems to be important these days. Can’t stand small talk. Can’t stand the bar/club scene” – I SO FUQING AGREE WITH YOU!

piscesienne
piscesienne

Prowln, bless your amazingly articulate self! Couldn’t have said it better – small talk, bbq’s, attending live music, ‘soul connections’ = you cannot imagine the immensity of the fuq I do not give about that stuff. And internet dating – NO. Not for me … I have an irrational twitch about it, to the point that when I read that Julian Assange had an OkCupid profile in 2006, he suddenly ceased to be so darkly attractive.

However – quote Macbeth at me, make me food and talk to me about quantam physics or some shit and I’m there!

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

I’m just sick and tired of the free passes men get for being boring, selfish, shallow and unevolved. If they’re intelligent or creative then they get to be adored for their brainiac abilities and genuis like qualities, whilst having no expectations put on them to clean their own ass, let alone a house. If they’re sporty and fit … we’ll geeez they’re hot so who cares if they’re gormless nobs who can’t speak any language beyond “rugby”. If they’re nice and actually bother to earn a living then goodness me how we forgive their slovenly habits at home and basically… Read more »

T
T

Oh man, it’s true. Even the nicest, coolest guys I know sometimes act like they deserve a damn medal just for being decent human beings.

prowlncrab
prowlncrab

oh wow you cleaned the toilet that you dribble on and over constantly *gold star*

oh wow you cooked food that didn’t consist of baked beans or something you revived from the frozen food section *gold star*

oh wow you bothered to give me an orgasm without having to exasperatingly have to ask for it *gold star*

grrrrrrrrrrrrr

virgolicious
virgolicious

I think I love you prowln!

Scorp
Scorp

I have Venus at 4 degrees Capricorn in my 2nd with Pluto plopped on it forevs. and not a “hanging out” session anywhere in sight. yawn.

Ms.
Ms.

p.s thank you for the post mystic xox

Ms.
Ms.

I actually found dating was cool change as I came from trash alternative roots where people meet each other in dark clubs or off their face at parties and shag, only realise sometimes they are a massive dickhead and you have to ditch them, which isn’t always easy. But there was nothing of the official gag sentiment the chick flicks portrait so I felt it was a different game all up. Everyone I know just hangs out. It barely seems like news in alt circles. Though I agree with much of the sentiment above from uranian lafemme, I have to… Read more »

bluelibra
bluelibra

What Ms. said.

whatevs
whatevs

complex

Uranian&Plutonic Virgo
Uranian&Plutonic Virgo

That’s why there’s a certain comfort for me in the domme-sub upfrontness – may seem too bizlike for those unfamiliar with it but to me it’s absolutely beautiful how honest and direct it is; the trust is immense. It’s enough to get me sniffy about it, or is it just the Cancer moon.
The typical ‘getting to know you’ is too fake, too layered in a bad sense.
If I could employ that upfrontness, and meet someone who could take it, with regards to someone I’m curious about or even really like, it’d be pretty spesh…

fallen angel
fallen angel

I think the “dating” referenced above if I get my impression right is the more “trad” kind where peeps are almost forced into roles i.e. I as the woman am the quarry, and you as the male are the hunter. To me, it sounds like you’re redefining what you need to establish the kind of relationship you want which would include the complexities of dom/sub roles. Though trust is critical in all relationships, in having that preference there’s an even more immediate need to verbalize and define it. It’s not after all what’s considered by most as the “norm” even… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

trust is critical in all relationships it’s true, to me the roles are just concentrated from what already exists within us, so it’s not an invention beyond human relations. I have always struggled, though being a scorpio, with confinement and static in any relationship, kink or whatever space is going. I do try to honour a kind of uranian dating code, despite my heart having deeply plutonian settings for said affairs. I still think despite roles having the tendency create problems due to intensity and the insane amount of awareness you need to make it healthy, that the ability to… Read more »

fallen angel
fallen angel

Yes, absolutely. Roles are implicitly derived as part of you. And what you said about personal space and identity being a core value is also true no matter what. In fact, peeps who don’t have s&m leanings can sometimes forget this, since it can get lost in the shuffle of melding, where perhaps in a situ with roles, there are story lines created which further define identity right away. Hanging out vs Dating in the terms above I think is just more about informal vs formal…there’s a point after that regardless what you call it that a relationship goes one… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

agreed, core value no matter what. I was just referring to in terms of the plutonian element /juggle. I find non kink spaces (hate use of vanilla) often blur hard on everything. but my heart only goes to said players so I only have baby youth to go on.

post above is still relevant I was just thinking in terms of when dating is appropriate yet still keeping it uranian 😉 xx

Uranian&Plutonic Virgo
Uranian&Plutonic Virgo

“there’s a point after that regardless what you call it that a relationship goes one way or the other. Deepens or dies.” – absolutely.
Sigh…

Ms.
Ms.

you must have a good heart UPV x

whatevs
whatevs

the only time I’ve dwelled in the periphery of the realms you speak of (LOL note my liibran discretion has kicked in) was with someone who was out with it pretty much within the half hour of meeting me. We were even sober and it was broad daylight. He appealed to my sense of adventure. I went with it for a few months. He was complicated in so many other ways though. I could see it might spiral in a way I wouldn’t be so comfortable with and removed myself from his orbit. I liked that he was upfront and… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

indeed

hermes love
hermes love

I agree There is Chemistry or not. When I have been on a date you know pretty quickly . Hanging out or Dance Partners.

piscesienne
piscesienne

Amen to ‘peasants just get on with it’! I have Uranus (in Sagg, 3rd house) squaring my Sun and Mercury and opposing my Moon … been on one ‘date’ and it was awkward, forced and I felt like a giant fuqwit the whole time. It’s strange because although I have Sun in Pisces and Libra Asc, which apparently means I’m all about the romance, I just don’t get dating. The concept, the act of it, why people do it and why everyone wants me to do it. It’s amazing how many people ask “so, now that you’re single, have you… Read more »

idgamf
idgamf

this sounds scary

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

darklings, hanging and banging – ninja gifting – this is the blog of cool concepts, thank you guys.

vanillabean
vanillabean

im going to an art gallery “to get inspired” with some guy, and he said he has to work the next day + lives too far, and its already agreed upon that he’ll sleep at my house.. we met before..and i remember vaguely being attracted to him.. . im a libra with leo rising.. and theres gonna be some sexytime thats for sure….. we are hanging and banging. hahaha
who goes on dates.. HOW AWKWARD!!

fallen angel
fallen angel

Moon in Aqua darklings, and may I just say, this insane woman yet apparently revolutionary woman is on to something. Is she the Ayn Rand of dating? Who knows? But I HAVE been on “proper” dates. Venus in Leo enjoys the pomp and circumstance but frankly, my Moon in Aqua and a raging Uranus in the 1st house, doesn’t see the point of dinner if I can’t see him in my bed/floor/dining table/name a suitable surface. Yes, I too, belong to the It’s On, or It’s Off crowd. This entire rant is the complete opposite of all those 90day rule… Read more »

fallen angel
fallen angel

Oh, and how could I forget, I have Uranus in Libra.. there u go then.

Ms.
Ms.

90 day rulebook, that’s insane.
Is that like the convents answer to the 2 day text message “i had a nice time” response?
I was really curious to see what you would say about dating FA

fallen angel
fallen angel

Apparently. People can die in 90 days in today’s world. Or your vaginal walls could atrophy unless you were in a serious Kegel Regime. I was never able to hack it, my equation: 90 days might as well be never. If I’m not prowling around my object of interest with my tush up in the air and muffling my miaows of heat, then you’re like..my brother. Or something. I think rules like that exist as peeps have lost touch with their instinct and intuition. It’s like a recipe sold for Marriage Muffin. Really, it’s crap. Now, I’m not saying if… Read more »

Ms.
Ms.

hehe. love the baking analogy
I read at first he licked your face
but no, he flicked it x

fallen angel
fallen angel

That would’ve worked too haha.. was quite funny tho, he was getting up to go, hesitated, looked at me then gave it the college try.

It worked. 🙂

Bluesky
Bluesky

90 days!!!???? I’d die—of boredom.

fallen angel
fallen angel

Yes, undoubtedly.

whatevs
whatevs

Yes uranian and it was always more about orbits and sudden meteoric collisions for me. I’ve been on one date in my life – it was weird – I lived in a house with 5 men at the time and ours was the party house, hence no need for dates atho I did deliberately have a single bed so no-one would get the idea it’d be easy. I’d given a man my number – he’d been consuming me with his eyes from across the room all night while I was having dinner with my mother – when we “accidentally” went… Read more »

whatevs
whatevs

Yup, I’m there Herby, why mess around? But with venus conjunct mercury I am romantic as well – just not in a date kind of a way – men have always read and written me poetry and given me their paintings. I love the poetry – esp the fellow libran alcoholic lover who was going down the charles bukowski road – when I moved on because liquor bores me shitless he suddenly hooked up with a 20 year old and had 5 kids – who does that in this day and age if they’re not religious? Nympho libran alcoholics that’s… Read more »

Herby
Herby

I also have venus conjunct mercury (Virgo, 12th House). I am romantic too, despite not wanting to delay the bedroom action. I like sharing my writings with my love interests. During the infatuation stage I will save my best works to share only with the object of my desire. I don’t usually share poetry with them but stories of the things around me that mean something. It’s like giving away a piece of my heart. I used to write my wife long love letters … and she still has some. I write her post cards every day when I travel… Read more »

Bluesky
Bluesky

love poetry:)

whatevs
whatevs

HA! nice Herby – the aqua and I go the love notes etc. too and I’m always finding old ones from years ago – it’s like a map of our relationship seeing what we were fixated with at the time.

Herby
Herby

Oh, another moving in quickly person. Love it. 🙂 It does kinda merge with life when that happens doesn’t it.

bluelibra
bluelibra

Having been on a few dates these last few weeks I must say I’m completely BORED with the whole scenario / paradigm.. but then even though there’s Saturn sitting on me like a fuqing ANVILL I have a Gem moon, Aqua rising so.. meh.

Boredom threshold at zero at the moment.

Steph
Steph

Agree agree agree. I’ve been on a date once, and it was a double date. It was awful, and quite stupid now that I think of it. The guy, a low Virgo, was convinced that he needed to spend money on me. He didn’t even know how to deposit a check. (I’m a Taurus; Instant turn-off, even at 15.) It was actually on Valentine’s day, 5 years ago.

Uranus sqaure my Venus, Cap-Aries. Yeah, no dating. Too boring. Plus, no real use for it.

Sassy
Sassy

Ahhh always wondered why I never actually have been on a date “officially” use the word hang instead. I also tend to go straight into it..Venus-Pluto, Mars in Scorp?? Uranus conjunct Moon trining my Merc, plus Uranus in 7th house… although looking back I wish i did date more..

Sassy
Sassy

El Toro asked me to move in with him!!

whatevs
whatevs

LOL what just now? This is breaking news? You wanna? Nice work sassy if you’re into it.

Sassy
Sassy

Yes just today. Im thinking about it, would love to. Lil Aries (and me) just adore him. Very happy..

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Happy for you sassy if that’s what you end up wanting!…x

InchbyInch
InchbyInch

Wow, that’s big, Sassy! Sending you thoughts of clear-thinking and concentration to help you decide. x

whatevs
whatevs

Wow just thought about the astro of lil aries right now – Jupiter/Uranus on their lil sun yet? And yours as well. I love hearing the good outcomes on the individual level that are possible with this astro. I’m glad you’ve found someone who makes you happy Sassy. Happy is underrated.

Sassy
Sassy

Thanks guys. Yeah I have Saturn squaring my Sun and Venus? Commitment? Jupetrining Merc, Venus and Uranus. Its been a pretty good couple of months of late. Lil Aries is 26 degree Aries, but Uranus and Jupiter are both transiting El Toro and lil Aries 5th house..Interesting yes..and all the Aqua stuff is transiting El Toros IC!!

leogroover
leogroover

been ther done that for a while it was breezy then it got boring as it was too loose for my liking then drove me insane and to the point of using texting as a W.M.D then came to my senses now i can breathe and see how stupid i was.I will never never ever ever go back there again

shell
shell

I agree with you LG, just looking at this post is bringing up all sorts of annoyances re some ‘hanging’ I’ve been doing and am so jack of.
My Leo mars wants action but I think the aqua 7th house sends out the ‘distance’ vibe. Ahhhh!

This aqua sun/mars thing (sq my venus) has had me skitty for days anyway.
Deep breaths.

shell
shell

Oh yes, Uranus sq Leo mars and Asc. I am the queen of ‘fk this I’m out of here’ if I’m not getting what I want.
Sigh.

Bluesky
Bluesky

what’s WMD?

shell
shell

Weapon of mass destruction

Bluesky
Bluesky

Doh! I think if I’d said it out loud to myself I would have gotten it. Thanks.

And I understand what you mean about using a text that way. So tempting!

InchbyInch
InchbyInch

And, yes, with Venus at 0 Libra, I’m awaiting the Uranus opposition to my Venus. Even though it happened last year, Saturn was still messing with my Virgo planets, so I didn’t really get to enjoy it then.

InchbyInch
InchbyInch

“Just as soon skip to physical”, ya, thanks for telling it like it is, Bluesky. It’s also like that line from a Romeo Void song, “I might like you better if we slept together.”

Bluesky
Bluesky

Oh dear, yes. I’ve got Sun-Venus-Uranus-Pluto all conjunct in second house ruled by Taurus. So I really, deeply think/feel that if I’m interested, I’d just as soon skip to physical. And I’m not interested in that many people, so if I’m interested, I’m REALLY interested. It’s an on/off switch. And most, maybe all??, of my significant others came at me laterally as a friend or in a group setting.

year of the fox
year of the fox

That is so accurate for how i tend to feel about dating Bluesky. I either like you or i don’t…none of this “let’s get to know each other” crap. The chemistry is either on or off. I tend to tell overly persistent suitors who i want to buzz off, “If I liked you, i would have asked you out by now”. Because, it’s true. … sadly true. I’m also strange about gift giving. I like to give gifts when others least expect it. I call it “ninja gifting”. But then i don’t give gifts when many traditional others expect it… Read more »

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

ninja gifting – love it – i am exactly the same. Really resent the extra clutter of having to think about gifts on birthdays or xmas but love the surprise awesome gift.

Lauren
Lauren

I agree! I’d much rather give something special that reminds me of someone at a random moment than when it is required out of obligation. Most people love getting random surprise and thoughtful gifts, but there does seem to be a backlash when someone expects to get something and then doesn’t.

xxxFirehorse
xxxFirehorse

Hear! Hear!

Herby
Herby

I think it would be pretty crap to waste time ‘getting to know each other’ only to find out you don’t gel in the bedroom. Not to mention that if you build it up too much, the messy act becomes awkward because you care too much what the other person is thinking about you rather than just getting in there and making sure that they are having a good time. I have a friend who dated a boy (27yo by the end of their relationship but I don’t consider him a man) for 3 years without any physical intimacy beyond… Read more »

bluelibra
bluelibra

That’s generally why champagne features during these moments…

fallen angel
fallen angel

Gosh, Herby, one of my bffs the Scorp Rising Cancer was completely enamored with an astoundingly shady Leo Engineer. The whole thing started online, anyway there was loads of toodling around – 4 years later, YES FOUR, they finally got it on.

And she said in retrospect that she realized he had drawn it out to such an extent due to his size insecurities. Which were sadly actually merited.

I’m not trying to be harsh here but I think that was completely devious. No one’s perfect but I thought that was a complete mind fuq.

Herby
Herby

I think that’s super devious too! I think my friend’s bf must have had reason to drag it out too. Either he was small or he might even have been in denial about other preferences. I think it’s silly to drag it on for the size issue. I mean, at some point she’s going to find out. And, like a female friend of mine says, ‘when he’s got a small one he works harder to please’. Mind you, that’s coming from me: been in same r’ship since I was 18 and my ‘bits’ don’t match my body. Mind you, the… Read more »

fallen angel
fallen angel

Precisely. I’ve been with 2 men I would consider size challenged but both were extremely attentive and had the sexual repertoire to accommodate it.

Plus really, I think it’s a confidence issue. It’s not like it’s going to change so embracing it is far more attractive than acting like a sneaky little douche bag. I could really kick my friend’s ex.

fallen angel
fallen angel

Oh, and yes, he fuqed her up mentally too. She got caught up in the whole, I’m Saving Myself for The One. I actually asked her, Has it ever occurred to you that your state of deprivation can skew your vision about who is and isn’t The One??? Sexuality is part of our humanity. I’m not saying it ought to be Amorality Central, but there’s perfectly healthy ways to own it, rather than be owned by it. After all, they say the Saint & the Sinner is cut from the same cloth. I think it’s better to recognize we’re all… Read more »

Lauren
Lauren

Whoa! I can relate to that. I was involved with an Aqua for two years. We started out as friends and he didn’t seem terribly clingy so I thought it would be a perfect “friends with benefits” sort of arrangement. He didn’t believe in sex until marriage either as it turns out for religious reasons, but we ended up doing everything else. I thought I could be patient and respect his beliefs while hoping he’d change his mind, but after awhile we just drifted apart and whatever connection there was before was broken. It wasn’t until I broke up with… Read more »

Herby
Herby

I can only imagine how damaging it would be. I’ve seen my friend go from being outgoing to being totally messed up and insecure in even the most platonic social settings.

Bluesky
Bluesky

See, I’m just not this “giving” or patient. I would never stick around for someone for their religion. I can’t even imagine it. It’s too boring to imagine it. I’d rather imagine other things.

year of the fox
year of the fox

It usually goes quickly like dynamite, but every once in awhile I do have these weird relationshits where there isn’t really any traditional dating or sex or anything else… just weirdness. So yeah unfortunately forced celibacy and unrequited love can figure in too. But yeah not gelling in the sex dept. is bad news for me. I’m Scorp Moon, Lilith, and Juno so it’s going to be all or nothing there. (And yes, I have actually broken up a relationship for “crappy sex” (well it was for other things too but that figured prominently). And even though i get sad… Read more »

Bluesky
Bluesky

ditto

Lauren
Lauren

I’ve learned this about myself too. I was actually like that before, but I stuck with it because I had a lot of family and friends lecturing me about lowering my standards and compromise and being selfless, because he was very well liked by everyone else. Afterwards, when the drama of the break-up had settled, I realized how much of myself I had lost by trying to conform to everyone else’s ideals. I too get sad and emo on occassion, but I much prefer being single than trying to force a connection with someone that I know isn’t there.

fallen angel
fallen angel

OMG the well-intended beguilting. I could slap hordes of peeps for that. Both my sisters (one Capp & one Lib) have at some point tentatively asked me about my sex life, I choose not to reveal much for fear of the same blow back. And considering my tastes may be considered “interesting” I really don’t want the extra baggage of having either try to figure out how we could have more or less the same upbringing and I went off-grid. Vis a vis the sudden self-consciousness on their part that perhaps THEY weren’t trying things. As you can see, a… Read more »

Water Pig
Water Pig

Well said FA, I totally relate to that! I also feel relieved that someone else understands. I don’t reveal much at all. Even considered relocating. I’m ashamed to say that years ago I actually left a relationship because of the pressure and ideals of family etc.- regret it to this day.

Herby
Herby

Oh I am so with you there … Well-intended beguilting is so wrong! Sex is natural, healthy and fun when engaged in by consenting adults in a safe way.

I dislike the way our society builds sex up to be this sacred special thing. At the end of the day, it’s just a physical act …

Have to admit I prefer it when love is involved but that doesn’t mean it’s the only purpose of it. Wish I could get that through some peeps heads too (oddly enough 2 of them are Cappies too)

year of the fox
year of the fox

I am natally a Uranus conjunct Sun & Mars. I hate “traditional dating” but I’m also doing the Saturn in Libra thing and have a NN in Cap so I can’t just go about my normal way. Guys who are just “kicking it” need not apply. Things like “fiscal responsibility” and “beige” are starting to sound good. sad but true.

Bluesky
Bluesky

Yes, my Cap moon and Saturn in 7th hold me back, somewhat. I also like men who seem stable. I’m hoping to find one who IS stable.

Stability is remarkably complex, or elusively easy. Not sure which.

year of the fox
year of the fox

I have Saturn in the 7th as well. I didn’t think about it until you mentioned it. It is a stabilizing factor.

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

Lol yotf! “Things like “fiscal responsibility” and “beige” are starting to sound good. sad but true.” Opposite is true for me. Uranus is just about to leave my 1st and Chiron/Neptune arriving on my fishy Asc. I can so relate to your statement with Saturn conj Asc but Uranus/Neptune and probably Jupiter through my first has been an eyeopener – like fuq off Saturn – I want freedom, the unknown and bliss. Saturn is trans my 8th house of Libby fleur so maybe I should be fiscally responsible? As for “dating” much prefer just hanging out or meeting up with… Read more »

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

oh and transiting Uranus is now square natal Venus in Gem but trans Chiron/Neptune is trine Venus. hmmm, will muse on that today :-).

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