Astro-Query: A Dalliance With The Aries Ex?

1960 romance guide

Dear Mystic,

I have a problem. I have been with my partner (who I adore- pisces like me) for 4 years; to be honest he was initially a rebound from my aries ex. Now for 3 of those years, aries-ex & I barely spoke – an email here & there – but we eventually sorted through all the angst (we were high school sweethearts I suppose you could say) of our messy breakup, just earlier this year. We have ambled along as friends but slowly it has been revealed that we both still think about each other every day (& have been doing so almost everyday since we first met) & we both still feel that intense ‘body-soul obsession’ as he once put it.

Now, because I am feeling like I am betraying my partner by talking to aries-ex in this manner, (& aries-ex feels the same way as he is living with his girlfriend too) & because it is…unsettling to always have this hanging above our heads – we’ve decided to actually sit down & talk about it as mature adults. Whether it is even viable for us to be friends is questionable – especially since he thinks his relationship will end soon. & don’t get me wrong I have no intention of leaving my pisces for the aries -ex, apart from the fact that I love my pisces very deeply & we have the most gorgeous little relationship I am happy in; even if I was single I would not want to be with aries-ex, its not the right time, it may never be again.

But I need to know when it will be best to have this chat! preferably this week! I was planning to see him Thursday but you have stated that is a bad communication day, plus its probably better I don’t see him on a day I have no other commitments otherwise I’ll end up spending the whole day with him – which could lead to dangerous territory. How does Friday look? or if you know of a day coming up that would be better suited please let me know.

Any advice you could give me would be most appreciated! I have the distinct feeling this may be good bye for the aries-ex & I for the foreseeable future…but I know neither of us really want that, its more of a practical solution

Yours faithfully,

The Scorpio Rising Piscean

Dear Scorpio Rising Piscean,

I think Aries-Ex may just be using you to fluff his ego during this stressful Zap Zone phase and you are sounding like a tres batty Pisces. If you are truly happy in your gorgeous relationship with the other Piscean, why would you want to be entertaining chats with the Aries. And if you have no intention of leaving the Pisces, then why are you saying that you “may” never be with the Aries again. This is how Pisces sends peeps bats and all with a tantric serene smirk plastered across their sweet face. This whole ‘cry for help’ is infested with ambiguity..”I know neither of us really want that…” etc etc.

Friday 13 is a good date for diplomatic dialogue, the Zap Zone is all about makeovers and ending what has to be ended but maybe this is just the prequel to the mega-bats Venusian Luxe – Sex, Magic, Karma phase from Sept to Jan. Venus is in Scorpio for unusually long time and you, of course, are Scorpio Rising. I reckon next time Aries-Ex current g-f “tramples on his dreams and exhibits major disrespect” – as Arieans call even the most mild of criticism or fail to completely worship their every move – he will be wanting to have another chat with you. The Zap Zone is hard on Aries relationships, for sure.

Let’s get the sagacious and worldly viewers of this site to solve this for you in the comments…Thoughts?


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65 thoughts on “Astro-Query: A Dalliance With The Aries Ex?

  1. Oh dear SRP, I think the operative word here is ‘ex’… presumably there was a vg reason way-back-when that Aries entered the ‘ex’ category? I’d channel that if you can!

  2. I know there are lots of stories about star-crossed sweethearts re-uniting, but my motto in love is Don’t Go Back. You broke up for a reason. Remember that.

  3. Oh man is the fish a fickle beast.. and the more confident I am in myself and my relationships the more fickle I can be but what I would suggest to this lovely fish is.. the grass may well be greener but is it worth the agony to find out. I have always been a bit wary of Aries types myself.. too much id for my mind

  4. Lol! I snorted my green tea all over the keyboard reading this.

    Okay, for the first time ever i am agreeing with Tauruses.

    And, you may be too young to know this my dear poor Fish-thing this little get together to talk about your feelings like “mature adults” is going to end up with you flat on your back and with your legs in the air.

    Really, get a grip. If you want to have a quick bit on the side with your aries ex – because that is all he is seeing YOU as – go for it without the boring angst. BTW Aries men don’t “think they might be leaving their girlfriend soon” or whatever he is saying.

    He is just lining you up for a root. Was he that good in the sack the first time around or are you hoping that time may have improved his staying power?

    • TLS, your bluntness on this matter is both hilarious AND correct.

      Scorpio Rising Piscean, you are getting Top Shelf advice from Mystic, the Bulls and TLS here… I hope you will not dismiss it.

      If you want to get together to talk “like mature adults”, why aren’t you inviting your respective partners? No need to be secretive and hide anything, is there. Boundaries SRP: they are healthy. They are adult. They help cure ambiguity and complication. This is not hanging over your head – it is just something in your head – put it in its place.

    • TLS yer cracking me!!!!! you had me at ‘flat on your back with your legs in the air’ then my turn to snort caffeine spray across keyboard with ‘he’s just lining you up for a root’ lol

      per nat – apt advice delivered with blunt hilarity.

      SRP – having done a PHD in Le Ram – the Bulls & TLS have it.

      no Aries THINKS about leaving, they’re gone & onto the next thing – sans extended conversations ….. unless of course that ‘adult conversation’ can end in their own sexual gratification / reliving the fantasy that may have been the pair of you.

      soz but your instinct re not being fair to you partner is correct.
      how would he feel if all was revealed?

      xox

  5. This all reminds me of some of the reasons I’m not with my pisces ex-wife.

    Time to have a serious think about just how serious about your current relationship. If you are thinking about your ex every day then maybe you are simply not ready to be in another relationship with anyone so soon after breaking up with yr Aries ex.

  6. In true mutable fashion I am going to offer a somewhat less certain version of the comments above. Whilst I agree ego, and sex, are probably key players here, I also reckon that the reality of having to sit face to face (and I would recommend you do it in public) and actually turn the little fantasy you both have going on into coherent sentences that the other get to reply to and that you get to see facial expressions etc. may be just the thing that you need to do. Make it so you don’t have that little ‘oh if only I’d just had that conversation’ thing to cling on to in the future and further fuel the fantasy. oh yes I am talking from experience. I say do it, and soon, whilst all the ending things energy is about. Being haunted by a fantasy is crap.

    • Another mutable here. I agree about the conversation. Sometimes it’s the things left unsaid and untested that make the fantasy linger longer than it should.

      In my experience it’s cutting off contact without having a face-to-face that makes the object of your affection so much more attractive than they are in the cold light of day. After a cold light of day meeting your night-time fantasies might not seem as exciting and you might realise why you actually love your fish lover (not just that you love the idea of loving him).

      And then there’s my agreement with the Taureans – never go back!

      Be kind to yourself. You are not alone in these fantasies while in a relationship. Maybe knowing that others struggle too you will not be too hard on yourself.

  7. Lovely Scorp Rising Pisc,

    As above with the comments, don’t do it. It’s just LUST talking, that “ooh, I wonder what if…” fantasy that we all have about impossible relationships/ married men/ boys we never had. Keep Aries Ex as your fantasy and entertain yourself with how fabulous you must be to have a gorge partner and a an Ex who still wants you.

    But please don’t get involved. Work the Zappage and cut him off now. It’ll probably sting but that will pass and hey, as “soulmates”, you’ll inevitably keep bumping into each other anyway. You don’t want him thinking “here we go again, a fun, easy lay sans commitment.” NOT that you’re an easy lay, m’dear, but don’t give him any idea.

    Don’t ruin your fabbo current situation and don’t even talk to Aries. If Pisces finds out you’ve been in secret talks with him, that would be very upsetting for him.

    Lucky you to be so wanted!! Sigh. I’d love even half a Pisces to love me…

  8. Don’t bother having the chat, it will only end in disillusionment.

    If you must, keep it short and public, because you are treading dangerous water.

    VS

  9. I am an Aries girl, and let me tell you we Aries are getting zapped in a mega way right now! It is most discomforting and ego-lashing however as in many things, one of the quickest ways an Aries knows to fix such low moments is to get some attention from the opposite sex. The easier and the quicker and most attention as possible the better. What easier way than the flipping-about Pisces! (My ma is Piscean). I’m sorry, but your Aries ex is playing you for his own ego-boosting purposes – don’t be tricked by his apparent sadness! It passes as quickly as a wink at a girl in the bar. And don’t kid yourself that Aries ex-es are capable of mature conversations. Not in the context you speak of, anyway.

    I recommend not meeting Aries ex at all (will drive him bananas and you might get some heart-wrenching letter and a gift out of it all). If he’s truly feeling low, he’ll manipulate and sexily plead until he gets what he wants!

  10. As a leo I think I’ve got a fair idea of what drama is about. The creating of it, the longing for it et al.

    I’ve noticed in relationships, mine and other people’s that about the 3 to 4 year point things sort of settle down a little. It’s not that there isn’t passion, just seems as though it has a different flavour to it. Maybe it’s not as fresh as the first few years, there is a mellowing. I’ve noticed that sometimes people create a little bit of havoc in their life to rev things up a bit, to sort of create a bit of DRAMA so it echoes that first zing of loves arrow.

    In some ways it may be serving as reminder of how good she has it now doing the whole compare and contrast. However it has the capacity to blow up in her face big time.I think this is what is happening with the fishy she-bat. I’m not sure it’s a conscious plan on her part to create drama…however all this discussion and debate is feeding drama.

    I’m not sure at this point if the fishy lass can pull back from the drama, the will they, won’t they, no it’s karma, no it will never be bullshit. The push/pull sounds a little too addictive.

    Depends really if she has the self mastery yet to withdraw from the dramatics and concentrate of the relationship she supposedly does value and stop giving so much energy elsewhere.

    I think a little bit of acknowledgement that she is responsible for where she choses to focus her energy may be in order.

    C’est la vie petit poisson.

  11. Oh if only I’d known you all were so good at deciphering this stuff I would come here for ALL my boy advice!
    I totally see it, too. But form both sides!
    Yes, so sorry Scorpio Rising Pisces it’s all about his ego and sex and believe me I hate to say it because I can imagine where you’re at with this, too. But really, if you’re already in a new relationship that you describe as beautiful why are you even talking to or entertaining Aries-ex? Move forward!

  12. I did what you are thinking of doing. It ended in tragedy.
    Instead of sliding backwards because he is at a loose end, why don’t you plan a wonderful evening with all the things you love, romance, good food, water, love and intimacy, with your current amour. Give it all you’ve got.
    The past is fantasy and you left it behind, remember, for a good reason.

  13. Yes agree with all those above re everything they said! Heed their advice! Yes sometimes we have these lovely little connections and it takes us forever, it seems at the time, to get over them- but it doesn’t unfortunately mean we’re meant to be with those people. Move on! You are being tested. Like someone else said above, there’s a very good reason you are not together anymore. Hold on to that. Yes it’s sad, but that’s the truth. And hold on to the loveliness you have with your new partner, cherish that and give it the full focus it deserves.

  14. I think don’t do it!
    You know, Pisces are meant to be morally a little evasive, aren’t they?
    Astrology has given you the gift of understanding yourself.. maybe you need to be MORE upstanding and strict with yourself than the average Piscean is.. not less.

    There is no ‘practical solution’ that involves more talk here. Study up on Virgo’s for a month before you talk to him again. 🙂

    I understand the passion, but SRP, you will have a bitter taste in your mouth later, and, worst of all, you might trust yourself a little less?

  15. hmmm… well THIS explains the recent ‘mea culpa’ letter from my Aries ex, whom I haven’t seen, nor comunicated with in a decade…
    Yes, I’m a Piscean, but thankfully, having been burnt almost to a crisp a few times in my tender 50yrs, I know not to step back into anything which was a “body-soul-obsession.”
    Body-soul-obsessions are guaranteed to be dysfunctional, with far too much truly messy karma to ever resolve.
    Don’t go there again, dear ScorpRisingPisces, just don’t.
    You can choose to learn the karmic lesson with your current partner, and it will probably be gentle and sweet and sustainable rather than dangerously dysfunctional and obsessive.

  16. Dear Scorpio rising Piscean,

    I think you need to have a good read of what you have just written. It sounds to me like you are trying to talk up a sexual attraction and nothing more. And of course lets not forget the disrespect that you are showing yourself and your current partner. You are in grave danger of loosing everything. Maybe it’s about time you learned how to approach romantic relationships maturely and take some control over who you choose to be close to, because it is a conscious choice. You are in charge, you are not at the back and call of love and lust. Make no mistake about that. Our choices speak volumes about the sort of person/people we are. Sorry to be so brutal. Just be a grown up and walk away.

  17. You must go oh fishy one or you may always wonder what couldv’e happend if….. howevah
    Take an Aries ex survival kit
    1. Have a time limt and another appointment to go to
    2.DO not drink under any circumstances
    3Play it cool
    4Notice all the things you didn’t like about him before and are still there
    5. Leave elegantly and don’t look back
    Good luck

  18. Don’t do it!

    I have a fickle piscean in my midst and shit it can drive you crazy when you KNOW they are swimming away and then come swimming back. Aries probably knows it as someone said above, little Pisces will come swimming back in a moment of weakness then turn around with regret and he won’t have to bother with contact from you for awhile (at least until he needs another boost to the ego).

    Remember, your current partner is a Pisces….. who knows…. if he’s like you, maybe right now he’s entertaining ideas concerning one of his ex-es, how does that make you feel? Little sneaky, sneaky behind your back.

    End it with one or the other – or both. It’s a time for endings and new beginnings…. maybe you need to sit down and think about what you really need, because as great as it is to have everything, it doesn’t work without someone getting hurt.

    For the record. I fucked up my awesome relationship of 6 years on a whim like yours. Stupidest thing I EVER did. I’m a third decan cancer – so, pisces decante right (?…. don’t really know anything about the specifics, but anyway). I guess this gives me tendencies like yours…. and I’m learning all about grass being greener on the other side….

    Now I’m alone (not lonely!). And it’s good. For everyone.

  19. The thing that strikes me the weirdest about this situation is the Aries-ex – since when to Aries men agree to ‘talk-it-out’?
    The dude has an ulterior motive – I can smell it…

  20. This is an excellent time to demonstrate your own boundaries. It ended badly and your now with someone who makes you feel good (Hooray!!), but you want a mature convo with the ex. Why? No! Zap Zone is giving you a unique opportunity to let go and be gone. Surely your days of being a puppet on a string are long gone. Detach, dismiss, de-end.

    I’m sharing this as a fellow Piscean.

  21. Is it true that Pisceans tend to be the dumpee rather than the dumper? And if two Pisceans get together they tend to live happily every after?

    I’m asking this because I have a huge crush on my Piscean yoga instructor and want to make a move. However, he has a Piscean girlfriend. In fact, their birthdays fall on two consecutive days (March 17 and March 18). Seems pretty fated. Our encounter seems pretty fated too! Anyway, right now I think a lot of Pisceans are haunted by their exes.

    Zap or no zap?

    • well, if he has a girlfriend leave him alone!! Your encounter with him is only fated in your mind. Make a move on someone available.

      What is wrong with woman today?! Ugh.

    • i would echo what scorpalicious said, the only thing that should be zapped is your sense of entitlement to him despite the fact that he’s unavailable. i think even if you did make a move, it would only be an encounter. because the fact that you went after him when he was already in a relationship will most likely make this pisces unsure of your sincerity and commitment to him should it turn into anything. they are, after all, notoriously unsure of themselves to begin with.

  22. was going to go off with some good advice but it seems everyone has covered everything. i believe there needs to be closure in your past relationship with the ram but that should have happened YEARS ago. when you broke up. don’t do it. last year, my aries drove me emotionally insane, & i’m not going back. 🙂 stay strong! <3
    xxxx

  23. If you open the door to him it will be difficult to close it again. Keep it closed or risk your present relationship. Maybe this is just a test of your commitment and an opportunity for you to put this guy behind you forever.

  24. I would DIE if my boyfriend met up with one of his exes whom he ‘thinks about every day’ to have a ‘mature chat’ about their feelings. Think about it if the shoe was on the other foot.

  25. theres so much of this going on all round atm – it ghosts of christmas a la amour

    my aries ex made it easy with his connections post break up being drunken random middle of the night street screaming scenes (yes not unlike stellllla in a streetcar named desire) about what a whore i was after breaking up with him after he got caught out cheatin n lyin – stringing along other ladies. and he kindly sends me random emails telling me how great everything (and he) is. they like a bit of fingers in many pies business for their egos, dont mind a bit of doting drama. they seem quite transparent in their deceit tho – easily get caught out. not good people impulse n temper wise to get embroiled in psycho sexual dramas with is my advice, especially with the astro ahead

    yes ambiguity…vibes like a suicide bombers musings somewhat

  26. Don’t go. De-clutter your apartment, buy a new pair of shoes, try out a new recipe, plan a short vacation.

    Eventually it may come to you why you think about this Aries everyday or eventually you may stop thinking about him at all. Are you afraid of that ?

    What’s missing in your life that your thoughts of him fill ?

  27. tho having been there – i must admit the allure of an aries man will make you do wtf things. its like doh de ja vu on repeat til u get it, good luck

  28. Sounds Pseudo- mature. Not mature at all.

    Prolly all kinds of deep feelings are swimming under the surface and the undertow is pulling you back together. Make a decision. Move on or move back in with the mucky angst you felt before while breaking up…..

    Aries out.

  29. So what I’m thinking is, you should do one of two things:

    1. Just Say No, or
    2. Throw yourself at his feet and say, baby, I’m yours.

    Either way, the outcome is the same for him: (1) you remain safe in your current relationship, and he remains in his current relationship, or (2) you think, OMG that was INCREDIBLE and then OMG I’m so STUPID and he remains in his current relationship.

    Run.

  30. Ms. Plutonian Fish, you sadly have blurred the edges & fogged your boundaries in typical Neptunian fashion. Emails to exes while involved in a happy relationship is never wise or recommended. Nipping communication w/out an actual physical sit-down w/ the Ram is the only way to go; don’t get closer to this troublemaking energy. Otherwise, you just may have no eggs in your basket…the nice fresh one will break as you check out the hard-boiled one. I personally wouldn’t jeopardize a good present just ‘cuz I was curious w/ the bad past. Back away from this w/ the grace & maturity you obviously learned from Mr. Aries a few years back; me thinks you are being played.

  31. p.s. dear scorpy fishie, you are brave to let us ride rough whose over your clearly very sensitive situation. My best wishes to you whatever path you choose. I hope it all works out sans too much pain, drama and destruction.
    Take care

    • Nice one UP! Yeah. Take (better) care of your own back yard. Cut your own grass.

      SRP, I am grateful for your question as it has brought forth so much heartening wisdom and respectful commenting. Hope you can negotiate this challenge/test/whatever it is and your relationship with your lovely Pisces will be better for it. Best wishes.

  32. Hello MM, is it possible you give us an update on the outcome of the situations presented in these posts? I am still dying to know what happened with the advice given on the other posts like this one!!

    I would love to know what Scorpy Poisson thought of the advice and what actually happened! Thank you, A.

    • Also I am the only one who cannot see the avatars anymore and who gets the blog in a constant state of updating herself with the page moving up and down? Thanks!

  33. I’m a pisces rising with a sag sun and am truly amazed by the empathy all the advice given here is. I don’t thing sags are very natural at showing empathy being too wrapped up and excited about life and their own life however, I am a pisces rising….I think the advice here is right. Draw some boundaries, and if you do meet him, make it short, with an appointment to go to next, dont drink and in public. Better still don’t meet him, Fantasy is so powerful and examine your fantasy against reality … would it really work out if it came true with the Ex? PRobably not.

  34. Wow, talk about deja-vu. I’m going through something similar (sans the other partners). My Aries ex returned 2 weeks ago and his M.O is always the same. Several text messages to suss out where I’m at (cos it’s less confronting), said he’d like to chat then went silent. Haven’t heard a word since. At first I got my hopes up (because he is gorgeous looking), now I know he just zapped me.
    My only hope is the egotistical git grew a conscience when I told him my mum is seriously ill because I knew he’d understand having nursed his father when he was dying, hence the disappearing act. But the truth is, he does this every time he contacts me – his true personality lacks decency or respect. It’s hot and cold and hit and run. Everyone else’s messages made me realise enough is enough. So, I’m done. I deserve better.
    SRP, you have, by the sound of it, a lovely man in your life. Please don’t mess that up by attempting to reconcile with someone who doesn’t care about anyone else but himself. And just remember this: odds on, he’s willing to do the dirty on his current girl..so don’t think for a moment he wouldnt do the same to you!

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