The Capricorn Protein Powder Sales Guy

Filed in SUN SIGNS, CAPRICORN

Art Basketball Hoop with candles

Staff at the health food store in my mall are not usually mega-motivated but I just encountered the Capricorn Protein Powder Sales Guy.

First he delivered a brilliant dissertation on the power of protein (from the Greek word for Life, creates sensational hair, gives me the strength i need to have both amazing musculature and brainpower) and why it would work out cheaper should i buy a metric tonne of it.

He then made some scarily accurate assessments of my needs based on a purchasing matrix and said to come back any time during working hours as he was there “seven days a week and often after hours.”  I asked if he ever took a day off and he said he didn’t believe in them. “That’s when illness, dementia or even insanity kick in. The body can’t handle it. Whenever i’ve had a day off, i have always gotten ill.”

So I asked his sign and he said “Christmas Day, which i prefer, as a matter of fact, because people don’t make too much fuss and i don’t have to waste time celebrating. I send out a present list in early December, slightly adjusted to allow for it being both a Christmas and a Birthday gift.”

He had cheekbones, he had goal-setting software on his laptop to work on in his lunch-hour. He’d saved a lot of time since giving up meals in favour of a “food system that provides all the necessary nutrients…no more guesswork.”  He said half an hour with a calculator and a spreadsheet could change anyone’s life more effectively than meditation or church. Although, he conceded, church was good for networking, if you were something like a politician or in real estate.

The Capricorn Protein Powder Sales Guy is 21.  Do Caps come any more old school than this?

Oh and the tip he gave me to have protein powder with water not milk or even oat  milk works really well.

Image: David Hammons

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Prowln Scissor ClawsÜber VirgovirgoliciousSavannahHerby Recent comment authors
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Herby
Herby

OMG! I just want to slap him out of it!

Doesn’t old mate know that there’s a fantastic world out there to be lived in and experienced? Life’s too short for spreadsheets … why live longer or healthier if you’re not having fun? And no, I’m not going to buy that spreadsheets are fun 😉 😀

(Virgo Sun in 12th House, Pisces Moon, no planets in Capricorn 4th House)

Prowln Scissor Claws
Prowln Scissor Claws

Reminds me of Madam Lash … aka the Virgo personal trainer. All this fibre and green stuff added to some protein shake and no foods allowed that didn’t supply “enriched high quality nutrients for the body”. Apparently cake and pudding does not fit into that regime. I find it terribly depressing. Who wants to live for a long time on a diet of green rabbit food shakes and endless thigh squats?

virgolicious
virgolicious

Glad you’re still here Prowln – your experiences of self improvement last year gave me the kick in the pants I needed to make some changes. Air hugs from the east coast.

Prowln Scissor Claws
Prowln Scissor Claws

she rang me today!! Madam Lash that is … in all seriousness she is a fabulous personal trainer and I really liked her except for the green rabbit food shakes bit … didn’t have the heart to say ummm “I’m on the carbs, boeuf bourguignon and doona regime at the mo’ hon”.

twinstar
twinstar

I agree prowlin. Nigella is 47+, looks amazing, and clearly owes it all to cake.

Savannah
Savannah

God yeah it would be soooo freaking boring! Funless grind.

scorpylizzy
scorpylizzy

lol i mean the chia, though we’re also starting the dogs on the clay too 🙂

leogroover
leogroover

Thx for the tip scorpy

scorpylizzy
scorpylizzy

Oh but also you can add them to any meals, & salads, whatever.
And my dogs look & feel fabulous for it 🙂

scorpylizzy
scorpylizzy

Well Virgolicious, I had similar thing with getting the chia down initially; I visualised as custard lol, which worked, but now I don’t leave them for long enough to completely gel; though that maximises their value.. . I put my coupla tablespoons in a big glass, add a good belt of hi-qual apple cider vinegar, water to 3/4 full, and stir for several minutes till seeds are all properly suspended & magically swirling around. Then I just drink it all down quickly. Scull scull scull 🙂 We’ve also just started with taking bentonite clay. It’s supposed to suck up all… Read more »

virgolicious
virgolicious

Thanks for the tips – tried a tentative couple of teaspoons today with your method. Fame, beauty and happiness will be just around the corner, yes?!

LemonfreshLeo
LemonfreshLeo

What is your fitness routine Miss Medusa?

ale
ale

WE Capricorn’s Get younger as we get older. I can relate to this Guy. Age and Time do Something to You. I feel lke I am having the childhood I never had. I realized recently that I am Not My work. That was a hard one. I am Taking the Mornings off this summer and going to the yoga studio and gym. I have Traveled more this year than any other time . I am Studying Ayurveda Medicine and Cooking. I love to learn new things.I still work but am pacing myself.I realize that my Grandkids are not going to… Read more »

Equilibrium Girl (nee Stress Princess)
Equilibrium Girl (nee Stress Princess)

Good for you, ale! Sounds like you’ve got a fantastic plan going on. Out with the old Cap, in with the wise, happy, RELAXED new you!

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Well, he’s only 21. For his soul’s sake, I hope when he’s older he realizes meditation is more fruitfull than a spread sheet? Gosh, that’s part of what’s wrong with this world! And with Cap Moon, I am not partial.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Just checked out a new book today by Depak Chopra. It’s in the car and now can’t remember the title exactly! Something about the Shadow and integrating our dual natures. Of course one can do a spread sheet and meditate as well…

Odette-in-Libra
Odette-in-Libra

Completely terrifying.

year of the fox
year of the fox

When a skinny Cap gives you a diet tip, rest assured it will work, but will it be good for you is another question. Many of my fave skinny Caps think starvation and smoking cigs is a good diet plan. I prefer to listen to my Virgos instead. hahah!

Savannah
Savannah

Cap sister lived on salads & Ford pills and endless hours at the gym. She’s paying for it with her health years later. Cap girlfriend spent the 90’s diet of sweet chilli sauce & cheese, bourbon & a variety of roll your owns.

People that are that regimented with their time & effort like Mr Protein fascinate & bore me at the same time.

Spirit
Spirit

papaya enzymes.

B.
B.

It sounds like he and I were born the same day… I’m 21 as of last Christmas Day.
that Cap sounds too accurate.

scorpylizzy
scorpylizzy

It’s rubbish. And too much protein is carcinogenic. Fact.
I would so NOT enjoy the lack of digestive process.
Why not just get into the chia seeds, they are truly excellent; major factor in curing my depression of 16 years, gave me energy, clear head, priceless study aid, just a fabulous complete alive incredible food. Changed my life. True!
..and drink LOTS of good water.

As Michael Pollen says:
“Eat food.
Not too much.
Mostly plants”

virgolicious
virgolicious

That’s some wrap scorpylizzy! But how do you get them down? They’re so slimy!

I’m all for getting more of them into my system but baulk at the texture, so any tips gratefully received (it’s these sort of life tips that keep me coming back here every day – I have made some massive and life altering changes based on the experiences of folks here!).

leogroover
leogroover

me too virg. Chia is a little creepy for me. Give me a canter by the river any day as a quik fix. Us Leo’s have got to get some serious air in the hair time.

plutonic gem
plutonic gem

hahahahahahaha….. thats ridiculous!!!!! MM I think you got cornered by a pyramid selling capitalist guru, or at least one in the making!

whatevs
whatevs

you know there’s some things that I find amusing and maybe even attractive about the thought of that cap but have you ever smelled the farts that shit gives you? They are devilish those farts.

Andromeda
Andromeda

“half an hour with a calculator and a spreadsheet could change anyone’s life more effectively than meditation or church” That’s very funny!! Not that the urges present by Capricorn PPS Guy aren’t genuine Cappy style, but I meet young people nowadays who are sooooo sophisticated like I wasn’t and I keep wondering if they know what they really think? The reason I wonder is that I spent 2000 to 2006 on a beach far, far away from reality. I noticed something weird about some of my friends when I returned. They were all plugged into the internet and some were… Read more »

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo

Has anyone introduced him to food?

And not taking days off, then getting sick when you do is a classic sign of adrenal stress. I bet he grinds his teeth.

Pisceannn
Pisceannn

Lol, he’s selling health food while having a hormone frenzy attack…

leogroover
leogroover

mabe maybe not UV. he’s a cap and can handle most stresses. Prob doesn’t know what a stress is? What would floor me and send me straight to the fridge for a restorative sav blanc would fire up a cap. Gotta love em.

leony
leony

o with cap rising i cannot claim such heights of work-o-filia !! i wish !? I’m a worker for sure.. but must have days off

Equilibrium Girl (nee Stress Princess)
Equilibrium Girl (nee Stress Princess)

Ooh, I love him! So motivated, so ambitious. As a Cap sun/ merc/ venus, I totally get the “anti-day off” thing. Whenever I finish a big project, I always get sick. My body just goes “what? No more constant slog? Welll, flu for you, Missy.” And I don’t believe in weekends or public holidays. Work when the inspiration hits. Which is often. But I work from home doing create stuff so I guess that’s a little easier to accommodate. This guy sounds like a legend. I was all go go go and crazy ambitious but after about 25ish, maybe a… Read more »

Equilibrium Girl (nee Stress Princess)
Equilibrium Girl (nee Stress Princess)

I meant “creative stuff” not “create stuff.” That’ll teach me to get off the computer and stop working on a Friday night!!!

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

I would agree with that theory EG. I was insanely ambitious when i was young, well into my 20’s and late 30’s. I finally let it go a few years ago when a job i had for six years almost destroyed me. Now my only ambition is to be happy. 🙂

Cap rising.

shell
shell

well i have no Cap, but a lot of saturn, and I would say that the reason your (and mine) body just goes “what? No more constant slog? Welll, flu for you, Missy” is because you have flogged the hell out of it and its tired, worn out and needs a rest.
Not necc a good thing.

Uranian&Plutonic Virgo
Uranian&Plutonic Virgo

Itawy there, shell; it’s the body’s way of saying ‘whoa there!’

Prowln Scissor Claws
Prowln Scissor Claws

the best thing I ever did was let myself off the hook of corporate clock time. People underestimate how unhealthy those office blocks are – cheap airconditioning not cleaned properly that spread disease, no proper sunlight or oxygen. I remember when I worked in one and it didn’t matter how healthy I kept my personal regime I always caught the latest flu or bug that was going around – and so did everyone else. It’s not just about diet. It’s about unhealthy, congested living environments.

Prowln Scissor Claws
Prowln Scissor Claws

ps. it’s also not sane or healthy to wake up at 6am to and hurry to work in the winter when it’s cold and raining. That’s an industrial revolution invention. It’s also not healthy to be awake at 3pm when the body is naturally wanted some down time. The Mediterraneans are far more sane about natural rhythms and incorporate afternoon nap or “siesta” … it’s capitalism that wrecks havoc on our natural systems.

confusedcap
confusedcap

Ok, well I’ve been hanging around this blog for months now and still really know very little about the intricacies of astrology, despite reading everyone’s words of wisdom. I’m seriously so not like any of the capricorns or their typical traits I see discussed here. Am trying to learn, but am beginning to suffer from some sort of astrological identity crisis I think 🙂 Me and money? Earn it and spend it pretty darn quickly and impulsively really, and absolutely nothing this guy said resonates with me at all. Maybe if he was spruiking about the wonders of a chocolate… Read more »

Capfire
Capfire

Same here confusedcap.

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo

Have you read the Capricorn Hi Lo post? http://mysticmedusa.com/2010/01/07/hi-lo-astro-haute-capricorn-low-capricorn/#comments

Otherwise, your Cap sun might not be well aspected??? Do you know where your ascendant and moon are? Caps are also well known for getting their shit together more toward middle age or later in life.

Don’t worry if you’re not like the protein powder Cap, BTW. He’s clearly some sort of Cap Bot.

Capfire
Capfire

Thanks Uber. Yes ive seen post and read this in Mystic’s book. I might mention I worked my ass off in my 20’s. And yes I got my shit together later in life, well at least a better work/life balance now.

I like to think of myself as a Kate Moss style cap minus the good looks and money. Secretly thrilled by the rebellious musician boys. Caps also have a rich fantasy life.
Cancer Asc, Leo Moon, Cap Merc, Cap Mars, Sag Venus.

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo

Maybe that’s the thing about Caps. They can be as Dionysiac as all get out, shambolic even, but still prosper and have career longevity — a la Kate Moss, Bowie, Henry Miller and Marianne Faithful.

Perhaps your fire planets or the Kataka Asc ups the decadence quotient and makes you a little less disciplined with money. Sometimes the aspects figure in there as well, squares, oppositions etc

Also, Mystic posted about the sea goat, and the mystical side of Capricorns, another take again.

confusedcap
confusedcap

Thanks Uber – had another read and still have nothing to speak of there honestly! Am well into middle age and even when I was younger nothing like that either. Have run my chart at Astrodienst and have Cap sun (end of house 11 if that makes a difference), pisces moon, aqua merc, pisces venus, cancer mars and aqua ascendant. I just don’t understand that sort of rigidity and over the top planning, or the workaholic stuff either.

shell
shell

all that pisces and aqua will do that to you. off dreaming up inventions and acting all gooey.

leogroover
leogroover

and groovey CC. Way cool to have lots of Pisces and aqua. I’d love to have more water in my chart. I’m all fire and bullsh** bascially.

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

I’ve known Caps who were brilliant at making money and chugging along ever up that mountain climb, but then they have this incredibly dionysian decadent side which makes them blow it on gourmet food, ridiculously expensive kitchen gadgets and toys, “status” clothing or cars, and trips. They blow it as fast as they make it, but they always make more!

DoubleMutable
DoubleMutable

And sometimes they even wallow in booze, drugs, and in one case, sex for money “just to see what it felt like.” HA!

Capfire
Capfire

Yes Yes to gourmet food washed down with expensive red.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Oh wow Double, think that holds true for the Cappy Moon as well as done the blowing of money (Saturn rules my 8th and I have the Moon there….Always make more!), and wallowed in booze. Terrible, dangerous combo. Glad I’m done but it does thicken the plot as in confronting the weaknessess within that must be faced and healed.

If you can rise back up outta it and not lose yourself in the meantime. Scary indeed.

Herby
Herby

I agree DoubleMutable. The Caps I know seem to be able to make money from thin air. They manage to save what to me seem like huge sums of money. Then all of a sudden they go out and spend it all on something totally fabulous for which most people would take out a loan. Then they start again and before you know it they have a big whack on money in the bank again. I’m a frugal Virgo and there’s no way I can do it. Mind you, my Stellium Taurean wife has influenced me greatly and I’m far… Read more »

Flamenco Fish
Flamenco Fish

Oh!! This is great! My virgo moon is totally loving this guy!!!

bubble
bubble

no no no no – you guys are all missing the point of the post – how much of the stuff did you buy mystic 🙂

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

lol

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

Pisces?? Never met a Kataka who isn’t tight with $$.

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

Oh shite! Lest I offend any of the lovely Katakas here… i meant careful with $$. (disclaimer – I have Moon/Mars and loads in Kataka btw)

fluidfeline
fluidfeline

And what about Virgos? They’re v e r y cautious with $. Ok I’m shutting up now!

Lesly
Lesly

We virgoans are quite frugal, often because all of our money is budgeted away before we even get it (at least in my case)!

Uranian&Plutonic Virgo
Uranian&Plutonic Virgo

ff, this Virgo sun is conflicted coz she has Leo Venus. The initial caution is there, but the dam has burst on more than one occasion. Teehee…..

Pluto Transit Lounge
Pluto Transit Lounge

Yeah – Pisceans are many things but usually generous to a fault

poppykettle
poppykettle

I just love caps. Even when they’re not funny, they’re still funny.

Sassy
Sassy

What sign are you Damons? Soz bad memory, is it Libra?

whatevs
whatevs

no honey he has a problem with libras stalking him that’s why you’re thinking that – his birthdate is part of his nom d

jumpin in
jumpin in

Oh i hear you!

Herby
Herby

Hahaha – I’m with you there Poppykettle. I love Caps too! They are … intriguing 🙂

Pegasus
Pegasus

Wish this calculated protien powder was around earlier
when i used to think buying, preparing & cooking food was
time consuming & unaware of my Cap rising.
Ahhh the energy of supreme motivated YOUTH…….
My soups contain all the nourishment i need.
And the glass of Sav Blanc whilst preparing it now suits me
just fine.

Charles
Charles

I remember a quip from a nutritionist about those protein powders, he thought people were eating too much protein already and said, “just how much hair can you grow at any one time?”

Scorpophilia
Scorpophilia

Doesn’t sound like long romps in bed with this guy are in order, or does he set the timer, get out the spreadsheet and compare statistics? BORING…….

My Pisces rising just wants to shake this guy and tell him to just let go and have some fun

fishgirl
fishgirl

omg that’s hilarious! I want to meet him! He sounds great.
And i kind of agree with him on the work/day off idea. but that could be my moon in virgo…

catriona
catriona

Does he also have Virgo in there? spreadsheets and calculators are the giveaway

hilarious story.

Spirit
Spirit

Dude sounds a tad bit OCD.

Ok, more than a tad.

Uranian&Plutonic Virgo
Uranian&Plutonic Virgo

Word….. I even said ‘ewwwww’ out loud.

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