So screw Saturn in Virgo all the way to hell and back. The Stress Diet (thank you Saturn) had worked a treat and her regular full-body exfoliation-colonic combos completed the effect of glowing good health.
Her filing was done, she’d alphabetically ordered her entire possessions and the fumes of Ti-tree oil and Dettol (fuq all that crap about not mixing disinfectant with any other substances – nothing interferes with the brain cells of a Virgo) had only made her slightly high.
Her Matrix Energetics Healer had said she had to shed some of her inhibitions and maybe think about dating again, that the heartbreak from her affair with the polygamous Libran raw food cult leader should not be allowed to block her growth.
But being a multiple Virgo she decided to efficiently cut through the tense dating crap (wheat-free/dairy-free – where could she even go for dinner? ) and simply seduce the new neighbours. She would go, she decided, for simple Shock and Awe.
And then hopefully she’d still be back home in time to schedule her appointments for the next two years. Saturn in Virgo had been good for her organizational skills.
Image: Steven Klein Vogue Russia