Get Your Capricorn Hat Back On

Surreal goats horns designer hats


You can stop all that snivelling about how you wish every weekend was a long one and why did you eat so much shit food when you know perfectly well that the latter was due to lack of self-control (again) and that if you added up all the hours you spend actually being productive instead of faffing about than you probably do not really have much of a work week at all.

To Do: Keep a time sheet and account for every minute of the day. Seriously, you might be surprised. Whilst you are thinking in terms of “measurement”, keep a similar record of kilojoules and money. Yes, it’s called a budget and while you’re at it, has it occurred to you that meal planning might actually decrease your intake of crap kilojoules AND needless expenditure? How do you think Capricorns/Saturn Peeps embody thin and rich?

If the atmosphere seems slightly austere, it’s probably (a) due to your hangover from carbophilia, alcohol or vengeful emo because you do not properly calibrate the Venus-Pluto vibes and (b) Pluto stationing retrograde in Capricorn and Saturn going back into Virgo. All of your so-called problems can be solved with some proper record-keeping, budgeting and a food diary.

Eat clean, work hard and greet any adversity with aristocratic indifference/beautiful manners,


The Moon in Capricorn

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49 thoughts on “Get Your Capricorn Hat Back On

  1. Dear Capricorn Moon,

    Fuq off. I’m sick of all this Saturnian austerity.

    Yours in anger, tedium and claustrophobia,


    • Dear Libran ramzilla rising person

      K’n Oath!!

      Let’s all unite and go on strike!!! Let’s demand a four day weekend every week!!! Actually bugger that let’s BAN work altogether! And dieting, and budgeting and general common sense whilst we’re at it – cause frankly where did that lead huh huh? A GFC, starving millions, environmental pollution, billions spent on a contraption that can’t even handle baguette crumbs that’s WOT!!!

      Let’s just all hang out at the pub, playing pool, listening to Evie and 70s disco hits on the jukebox whilst warbling loudly, flirting and eating those teeny yum cha snacks with sweet chilli and soy sauce. Possibly being polyamorous … burn bras, ban bombs, blow up bloody Economists.

      Now why am I up at bleedin’ 6am?? *scratches head* …

      • Sounds good. I’ll meet you by the pool table. I’ll have a pint of whatever’s on tap.

        • I’ll watch you 2 both play pool. i can’t even be bothered getting off the couch to go to the bar. Very big easter worked hard, played hard, took me weeks to arrange it now I’m exhausted but glowing. Saturn can wait till I recharge with a slothy day in bed.

        • I will be comatose thanks very much. Won’t even lift my head to contemplate my belly button, too much trouble if you ask me. Eyes to ceiling in prolonged shavasana…prone is the way to be.

          To be honest, my coma was a credit coma .. promptly followed by deeply paranoid security mongering Cap thoughts, which I have now ridden out to a reckoning. Of course, with Pluto recasting his Dark Shadow across Cappo, my ebullience at being mistress of all my freedom had turned to my somewhat despair of well.. being mistress of all my freedom.

          And the devastation of the Sewer Thereafter. Oh, and some hellishly searing insights. Now that I have unfurled myself from the fetal position, I am re-reading Nat’s notes to UP and I have to say touche.

          The question isn’t “will something get you down?”, it’s “how will you recover”? In plastics we have a thing called “snap back”, so I lost some of the elasticity on that but working on it. In the meantime, I indulge myself with thoughts of being laid waste in a corner happily dreaming away occasionally chuckling at what I’m sure will be witty repartee of the bra-burning, beer guzzling Band of L’Resistance.

    • really? fellow libran, surely there’s smething glittering on the other side of the scale? oh, virgo rising. nevermind.

  2. trying to retain my aristocratic poise while packing boxes and sorting the detritus,(a whole 2 bay garage full!) from my ‘former life’-maybe th Capricornian Focus will help with this task of herculean magnitude?meanwhile th ‘elsewhere landlourd’ threatens court action, his henchperson (th realty lady who couldn’t have been more sugarcoated when i thot about baiiing and put my land on th market in nov’08!)sends text msgs telling me to grow up AND it’s raining again~do i dare suggest to her that these ‘old biz’ matters may not resolve til th end of may?get out th list,make budget (didnt even Manage to eat yesterday…try again, smile!beautiful manners, soldier on with Grace!)

  3. “Greet any adversity with aristocratic indifference/beautiful manners” I soo want to BE above and beyond stuff currently. I got sick over Easter, just like I always do when I get into stuff with the sis (CancerSunLeoRisingLeoMOon). She is so noir, she only wears black, even in summer. She dresses her baby in neutral tones.

    I don’t just want to act indifferent, I want to BE indifferent! How does one coax oneself into feeling LESS?

    • getting bored of people’s behavior is the first step to indifference Firetrine.
      Cultivate I’m bored with you know and have better things to think about.

      • Will work on being bored by spitefulness shell. Cultivating bored feelings… energy transmutation… breathing in Capricornian Lunarness, breathing out interest…

        Lol Lexicorn – please let me be the first to know! I wouldn’t mind a bit of Capricorn transplanted on to me somehow!

  4. How hilarious. Last night I wrote a budget, a to-do list and started a food diary all after I went for a lovely long walk. Amusing.

  5. approaching from a couple of angles – perhaps I really can have it all? secured 4 day work week for the foreseeable future just prior to Easter break, ran off to my forest by the beach with a bunch of lovely peeps for hangover fuel, now TOTALLY feeling the Cap Moon vibe and giving the Nest, food reality and fridge a once over before bunking off to Sydvegas for a few days. I figure the moon will be in something else by then . . .

  6. I caught Sea-Goat fever for the past 2 weeks. I’ve been good on my diet and exercise; working like crazy to get that cheddar; and tucking some of it away. Why just the other day i walked past a lovely carrot cake that always loves to whisper to me sweet nothings, to which i replied, “nah”. Desserts have temporarily lost their sway on this Libra. Too bad, I’m still mooning over exes. πŸ™ At least i can be distracted by work life.

    • YOF i always found mooning over ex’s a good with a great weight loss programme. there’s an upside to everything.

      • Exactly! It’s the perfect weight loss regimen! Depressed and too busy= No extra eating! Plus I’ve got Venusian proportions. Even if i starve I’ll still be curvy.

  7. the payoff for me, is i get to be smug about the whole thing… and have killer shoes.

    someone kiss me while i am still without birkenstock in mouth.

    (here it comes: BIRKENSTOCKS?!)

  8. Well, I kinda just went Cap all Easter (with Cap Sun, Merc, Venus) and i completely avoided chocolate/ alc/ partying and therefore subsequent guilt. I mainly spent time re-writing work stuff, cleaning my study and then lay about reading newspapers and watch French films. Felt fabulous. Ooh and I did a spot of gardening, re-potting plants that the bush turkeys decided to play football with.

    And then I realised how useless long weekends are. They just mean traffic is crap and ppl are away when you need them and certain shops aren’t open. And boyfriend is home for 4 whole days. Inconvenient!!

    • I hadn’t the slightest interest in chocolate this easter too. I even tried to gorge on it and got through nothing more than 2 mini eggs.
      Thought I was being all grinchy, maybe just Cappy.

      • Hehehe – I was totally Cappy. Had choc on Sat, but found it boring (?). Ate well all weekend. Hung out with friends yesterday and helped them built the Taj Majal of Vege Patches (she totally happy to dig a hole, stick some punnets in, and hope for the best – he designed, redesigned, re-aligned, went to class and basically built a temple). I however wheelbarrowed 2 ton of dirt, created a Greek feast for lunch, doled out regular doses of Rose, and swung around on the end of the mallet for entertainment…. Bliss.

        Not sure how a long weekend is boring tho – on the days I didn’t socialise, help out in vege path I totally Zen-Slothed and watched the whole of series 1 of TrueBlood. Hilar

        • HA HA. I did season one of True Blood weekend before last and am eagerly awaiting season 2s arrival (via dodgy bootlegs from Thailand) next week!!!

          Love the sound of the Veggie Temple.

  9. Dear Mystic,
    How does one properly calibrate venus-pluto vibes when (a) none of my friends were available to go out with (or even LIKE going out for that matter) and (b) the only current male interest is on the other side of the world for a week. I felt completely stymied. All my efforts at going UP and AT ‘EM, and I was keen, just completely fizzed.
    Anyone got any advice? I am shite at doing venus. I think venus hates me. πŸ™

    signed, depressed lonely pisces. Not even my Moon in Cap could get me out of this one.

    • Oh Dear UP, of course Venus doesn’t hate you!

      In what house does your Venus reside in your birth chart and what aspects does she make there? And which house is she transiting at the moment for you? Lets start there for some insights and a fresh perspective.

      Aside from a fresh calibration of your Venus astro, I suggest also contmeplating the concept of resilience, especially in relation to not-getting-what-we-want. That is my theme for this week, I’m happy to share it with you!

    • Once you have an answer – can you tell me? I have never had good luck with Venus. I don’t think she hates me – I just don’t register for her AT ALL! I’m saving up for the Venus consult with Mystic – but to be honest, even the PeachBlossom remedy doesn’t do anything for me…. I figure I’m a lost cause…. now if only my friends would stop trying to get me to go on-line or speed dating. So not my style (but fully respect the many people I know who have had magnificent success with this).

      • Gosh UP, I would give anything for an elegant and classical Cappy Moon, I am certain Venus being so very Taurean would be wonderfully harmonious with you…

      • i have a feeling you’ll be OK po-mo scorp -good luck and love to hear how the venus consult goes (if you like)!!

    • Ah, you know what Nat – there was a Moon-Pluto shitzone on Monday too, that does tend to cast me into the depths. I don’t know what else was going on before that tho. Nothing jumped out at me when i checked out transiting planets on Astro. Maybe i was just having a rough weekend.

      And thanks fire Trine, that’s a nice thing to bear in mind


      • Nat – I have venus in aries in my 10th . In my chart it sextiles Mars and my Asc, trines Neptune. Squares my moon. Venus is only just lurking into Taurus now but still in my 10th. Maybe it’s not venus. to be honest it felt more like saturn crap – limits everywhere I go and they’re all because of my actions/lack of! agh.

        love to hear more about your philosophy of ‘not getting’, if you have the time/inclination. xox

        • OK UP, I offer the following things to ponder re Venus and You:

          * Venus interpretations are a lot broader than whether you happen to be pulling a Man/Root at the moment or not. She rules other wonderful things such as beautification, establishing values, the kind of resources that you magnetically attract (rather than those that you earn via offical hard slog), harmony, negotiations, and how you approach your female energy. I reckon it is very worthwhile exploring those broader themes in your life at this point. Write each of those themes on a separate piece of paper and jot down what you tell yourself about each of them. Then jot down the story that you would like to be telling yourself about them. Any progress you can make in these realms will free you up to experience more of your Venus charms. Such exploration would surely be aided by in-depth analysis and deep change courtesy of Pluto, & a great time to explore these ideas with a psychologist I reckon. Can you think of some of these issues more broadly than you are at the moment? Can you think about the concept of “love” more broadly (i.e. more broadly than man-chasing or being chased by a man πŸ™‚ ?) Could it be time to focus on loving yourself more fully before looking for love outside yourself?

          * Real astrologers here can add more, but I would think Venus Sextiling Mars & Asc are VERY NICE aspects to have. 10th House placement brings to mind areas of life such as work, father figures/authorities, vocation in life, position in society, status, reputation. Venus trining your Neptune could go either way: (Hi) dreamy, psychic and connected with faith & the Universe or (Lo) deluded, unable to see/touch reality, addicted and playing the victim. I reckon your pragmatic Cappy Moon would ensure that you are not in the latter camp!

          Re Resilience, I offer the following ideas for your contemplation:
          * Resilience is what keeps us going after a disappointment. It is a way to “bounce back” or to rise from the ashes of defeat as a more real and authentic version of ourselves. Not “bouncing back” in a glib, false or fake way but in a real and deeply humane way. You want to be resilient don’t you? You do not want to wallow in misery and depression for ever or to view yourself as a victim. Even tho these are natural feelings to have at times, they are transient like black clouds passing across the sky. Let them have their time but also let them pass. Resilience is the thing that says OK that is enough wallowing in defeat for now, it is time to count my blessings, and get up and get on with being an evolving and good version of myself. Not because I HAVE to but because I WANT to for myself. Resilience is that little spark of energy that helps us take a step, no matter how small. And if we stubble or slip, it helps us get up and take another small step.

          * Sometimes the best things can be all laid out in front of us and we just have a crap day! I have days that should “in theory” be fabulous but I can’t string two neurones together and feel crappy all day. It happens. Be kind to yourself . Don’t berate yourself. Have another go tomorrow.

          *You have had some very big changes in your life recently UP. Don’t underestimate the time needed to process all of that at a deep level. Its been emotionally draining. You ARE moving forward and doing a very good job of it, so don’t be too impatient and demanding of yourself to see a “new life” around you. You already have it.

          Hope this helps x

        • Hey there UP
          Quick thought from me reading about your Venus.
          It’s an ultra masculine positioning that your venus has there.
          You have her in Aries (ruled by Mars) in the 10th house (ruled by Saturn) both really masculine energies – plus she sextiles natal Mars.
          I reckon your Venus is a boy.
          Maybe if you start to think of her as a beautiful, androgynous, gentle and whimsical young man you might find it easier to communicate with her / him.
          Your Venus is the soft shadow side of the raging warrior. The sensitivity within the blokey butch. The nurturing kernel inside the overprotective father.
          Listen to the Bjork song ‘Venus as a Boy’ like 20 times or something, and see if that helps too. xx

    • oh my goodness. Nat what an effort, thank you SO much. i wasn’t expecting such an amazing reply. I will definitely take note of your comments, do some homework and come back brighter.

      it’s not so much about pulling for me. Well, maybe it is at the moment, have regained a lot of confidence and am testing the waters – as I am often ridiculously shy, I took some opportunities to see if it is easier for me to approach someone, who i like the look of, etc. (and it is!)

      Had a few realisations over the weekend about relating, too, which I was a bit bummed about.

      and Lex – hmmm. Yes that’s not a bad way to approach things. I will ponder that. A bit like seeing Saturn as a concerned, capable female, rather than a totalitarian male.
      Yes I do really struggle with the ultra-feminine thing quite a lot. I scare like a horse when around groups of women – at least in certain circumstances, and I also rebel outrageously at the expectation that I do ‘womanly’ things while the men do ‘manly’ things (early childhood influence in there too I am certain). I am sure that’s not limited to my venus influence, but is def worth considering. thank you…


      • No problem U*P*. I hope something in there might help you to find a new way of looking at your Venus. There are many ways to express our feminine energy. I too take the bolt from wimmyns groups, eeeeep!

        I missed a really obvious Venus theme above: Creativity. It might be time to express your creativity in a new way and through this you may free up other Venus energies. We can get very stuck (and lazy) about the creative of ourselves but it never fails to bring good things.

        I just looked up one of my fav’ astro books by Gail Fairfield, which gives the following takes on Venus in general:
        “When you are FULLY OWNING your Venus you will sense that your values are right for you. You’ll know what you like and do not like aesthetically and you will generally attract experiences that make you feel worthwhile. Most of the time you will feel that you are making and creating beauty and harmony in the world… you’ll feel safe making space for creative disagreement… and will have found a productive way to integrate “female” qualities into your life.”

        “When Venus is operating DYSFUNCTIONALLY, it becomes gluttonous & greedy, attracting a quantity of people or things to itself whilst disregarding their quality… like a magnet gone haywire drawing plastic and garbage to itself (!)… it can create romance for its own sake, falling in love with love, regardless of who’s involved…”

        “If you are DENOUNCING your Venus you could feel that your values or artistic sensibilities are poor compared to others… you might even feel that all ‘female’ qualities are negative… ”

        On Venus’s House: this is an area where we can express our talents for artistic expression or interpersonal relations. When we enhance our skills and feelings of self-worth in this area, our interactions in this house improve rapidly. Venus’s House is also where we react to the training we received about women’s roles in our culture (I found that comment very interesting!)

        On Venus’s Sign: this shows the style in which you attract people and possessions to yourself (might be very handy to think about the Hi & Lo Aries styles here!). She suggests that if we have negative attitudes toward other women we may be expressing the negative aspects of our Venus Sign and can feel happier if we tune into the positive aspects (for Aries that would include independent, simple, honest, energetic, assertive, fit, buoyant, positive)

        On Venus in the 10th House:
        Create beauty and harmony through career, establish value through profession, magnetically attract people & things through vocation, balance conflicting forces through position in societal structure.
        Interesting as I think you have been thinking about changing jobs/profession to something that is a more authentic expression of you? Or maybe the current job is OK but you could see it in a new context/use it to achieve different things?

        OK that is it from me! I have enjoyed this review of Venus themes -= quite handy for me too.

  10. No, we don’t NEED the armor. But it sure scares the crap out of the enemy. Not that we’re not capable of that all by ourselves. Our imposing physical presence can only be enhanced by such a glorious and fearsome set of armor plates. Our powerful motions are not hindered in the least by a heavy escutcheon. Ow, these zori sandals are just not suitable for battle! Now where did my servant go?

    • Charles, I thought scaring frenemies was what your awesome horns are for. I have met many a bull with their horns hard and ornery, coupled with a red stare and let me tell you, it has me looking for my own armor to hide under!

      • Once you are similarly armored, with your body’s weak spots protected, perhaps we can face each other on the field of battle, knowing we are each invulnerable. And perhaps then, we can even sit down and talk, which would be really nice, because with all this extra weight from the armor, my feet are killing me!

  11. I don’t want to go back to Capricorn. I am marching forward to my natal sign of Taurus. I am putting on my Taurus helmet and armor.

    • niice!! does a taurus need armour? I thought they proceeded relentlessly, regardless of obstacles and potential cuts, bruises and scratches