Astro Gaga – The Aries Spy-Lie Detector

Lie Detector Van

I don’t know why but i visualize the owner of this truck as an Aries Courier turned Spy/Lie Detector after a Pluto transit.

So his name is Troy and this is now the job he does.

If you ring him, he’ll be there on-the-hop, a bit caffeinated or straight from the gym and insanely buff.

He’s got a Cancerian Moon so takes the infidelity/disloyalty aspect of his work v.seriously and gets WAY too involved with his clients.

His actual machinery is really out-of-date and inaccurate – Mercury Retrograde in Pisces so he relies more on intuition than the machinery and thank fuq he does Muay Thai because husbands and boyfriends are forever trying to bash him.

Thoughts?

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Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot
Lux Interior is My Co-Pilot
February 15, 2013 10:18 am

This is, like, the best post everrrr.

Where the HELL did you find this picture?

I cannot but think that an Aries would have gone for a red van though.

BlackStarAries
BlackStarAries
February 18, 2010 1:10 pm

I love the word “daggy”. It’s soooo descriptive.

If this van is a rockin’ don’t comma knockin…….

“Oh, Hon- that’s terrible.” *lays hand on knee* “I could tell from the moment I saw him your husband was a cheater….”*tilts her chin up with his hand* “he doesn’t deserve a woman like you……., sometimes the truth….hurts….” *looks deeply into her eyes*

davidl
davidl
February 18, 2010 2:22 pm
Reply to  BlackStarAries

gently squeezing her thigh…Im there BSA

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo
February 17, 2010 10:15 pm

Warwick Capper is a gemini. My condolences to all geminis. But really, Warwick Capper couldn’t shut up long enough to run a polygraph.

Savannah
Savannah
February 17, 2010 9:59 pm

This sounds just like a masseuse in Adelaide, your description MM is uncanny! All that was missing was the shaved head.

darkhorse80
darkhorse80
February 17, 2010 5:48 pm

Ha ha! Ah, ya kill me, Sweetpea!

darkhorse80
darkhorse80
February 17, 2010 5:23 pm

Whatever happened to trust, eh?

Sweetpea
Sweetpea
February 17, 2010 5:42 pm
Reply to  darkhorse80

It’s alive and well in the back of the van….hehe

Baristagem
Baristagem
February 17, 2010 6:22 pm
Reply to  Sweetpea

😆

I saw a bumper sticker saying ‘Don’t laugh at my van… it could be your daughter in the back’…. shudder….

Sweetpea
Sweetpea
February 17, 2010 6:42 pm
Reply to  Baristagem

God gawd, glad the girls are older now!!

Sweetpea
Sweetpea
February 17, 2010 3:19 pm

One would have to be a bimbette to fall for this guy. I mean how is she going to get the suspected to take the test?

Sweetpea
Sweetpea
February 17, 2010 3:21 pm
Reply to  Sweetpea

Oh I see, it never quite gets that far….But far enoug for him 😉

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo
February 17, 2010 2:38 pm

Aries are good at spotting bullshit, but Capricorns are better. However, Capricorns are more likely to be engaged in actual bull shitting, while Aries are more likely to be idealistic champions of the truth.

Baristagem
Baristagem
February 17, 2010 2:42 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

Nicely summarised Uber!

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo
February 17, 2010 2:47 pm
Reply to  Baristagem

lol and Virgos can bullshit with the best of them! We’re just more righteous about it.

Baristagem
Baristagem
February 17, 2010 2:48 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

I wouldn’t disagree with you…. 😆

davidl
davidl
February 17, 2010 2:51 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

yes, right, its one of the reasons caps are usually so ‘diplomatic’ and careful with me..like their looking out the corner of their eye thinking, I know he knows Im bullshitting but if Im really civil with him he wont dare spill.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea
February 17, 2010 2:54 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

And then theres widdle me…Aries Sun, Cappy Moon….Idealist bullshit…Gets em everytime!! lol

Ah shucks tho Ubs, how sweet… x I like your version.

william
william
February 17, 2010 4:17 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

hmmm, reverse actually , capricorns champion, aries b.s. (but well intentioned)

Sweetpea
Sweetpea
February 17, 2010 4:22 pm
Reply to  william

Wills,

Beloved “other Aries Man”….

How could you?

Baristagem
Baristagem
February 17, 2010 1:43 pm

Troy sounds a little seedy…. but the whole thing is just so funny… Good one Mystic! 😆

virgo cat
virgo cat
February 17, 2010 1:49 pm
Reply to  Baristagem

see the link above! Funny and yes, kind of seedy.

Charles
Charles
February 17, 2010 12:40 pm

That’s not nearly as lurid colors as my dad’s old delivery vans: pink over purple. Everyone said they were ugly, but he’d always say, “yeah, but you noticed them, didn’t you?” I suppose those colors were ok for a florist delivery van. But I was embarrassed to drive them.

shell
shell
February 17, 2010 12:37 pm

this is totally unrelated BaristaGem, you were in my dream last night. We were going to a gig and I was picking you up, but needed to get a message to you re that. My means of doing so included writing on the windows of a hairdresser in the hair dye goop, taking photos of the writing and then texting them to you, and then I tried to email you from a keyboard that someone had turned into a sculpture of a mountain range, so different keys were peaks and valleys, it was an exercise in relying on touch typing… Read more »

Baristagem
Baristagem
February 17, 2010 1:34 pm
Reply to  shell

😆 That is an unreal dream shell!

I am loving the idea of how you were trying to communicate with me! Writing on the windows of a hairdresser & taking a pic. That is really creative & I love all the forms of communiqué that you described! The nigerian email scam is just hilarious, i hope we enjoyed the gig? 😀

shell
shell
February 17, 2010 1:46 pm
Reply to  Baristagem

The actual gig didn’t feature to be honest, it was more about the process of getting there. We went through a bit of driving trucks up a steep cliff face through jungles etc – I think that route was your idea, you knew it well. I think also we had bicycles in the back. and then i had a moment of turning up without shoes, (after all the mountain travails), and worrying they wouldn’t let me in.
Maybe that was when i went back for the bikes.
Ha, i just remembered I met Dr Aqua, he was lovely.

Baristagem
Baristagem
February 17, 2010 2:30 pm
Reply to  shell

That sounds like a real adventure & of course I would know the route!! 😀 Featuring the Dr Aqua… now that is 😆

shell
shell
February 17, 2010 2:44 pm
Reply to  Baristagem

he just came out of the house to wish you a good night. how lovely!

Baristagem
Baristagem
February 17, 2010 2:45 pm
Reply to  Baristagem

Aww how cute… Dr Aqua would do that too! 🙂

virgo cat
virgo cat
February 17, 2010 12:24 pm
indigofish
indigofish
February 17, 2010 12:21 pm
Reply to  Mystic

plus he gets a hot tip on who are the “loose ladies” in town

virgo cat
virgo cat
February 17, 2010 12:22 pm
Reply to  Mystic

!!!! *&%$.
indeed.

Spirit
Spirit
February 18, 2010 2:06 pm
Reply to  Mystic

My favorite !!!

gem
gem
February 17, 2010 11:56 am
Reply to  Mystic

Totally! That big chest is the PERFECT resting place for their tear weary heads. I reckon its fake tanned too.

shell
shell
February 17, 2010 11:59 am
Reply to  gem

and waxed

gem
gem
February 17, 2010 12:48 pm
Reply to  shell

Yes. And maybe a blurry tattoo he got 15 years ago (which, like the rest of him, is daggy and out of date).

shell
shell
February 17, 2010 12:50 pm
Reply to  gem

a heart with an arrow through it.

gem
gem
February 17, 2010 12:59 pm
Reply to  gem

And maybe it says Mom? In a heart over his heart, which makes all the women who have been victims of cheating men swoon at his sensitive side.

shell
shell
February 17, 2010 1:05 pm
Reply to  gem

oh yes. because honouring thy mother is the embodiment of honouring ‘the mother’ and thus all women. he’ll have a whole spiel about it

gem
gem
February 17, 2010 1:17 pm
Reply to  gem

Snort. Ha. Yes Troy, we see you. We see right through you muscle man.

Ãœber Virgo
Ãœber Virgo
February 17, 2010 2:34 pm
Reply to  gem

Do you reckon he shaves his head? Some of these fire types have so much hot yang qi rising, it makes their hair fall out.

matthew-minerva
matthew-minerva
February 17, 2010 4:28 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

HA THATS LIKE MY ARIEN DAD!

fallen angel
fallen angel
February 17, 2010 9:13 pm
Reply to  Ãœber Virgo

I love you guys, that is precious Uber. Truly.

davidl
davidl
February 17, 2010 12:02 pm
Reply to  Mystic

hmmm, right, got it now. Their knight in shining armour (or green van), good one..probably has a matress in the back .

Spirit
Spirit
February 18, 2010 2:45 am
Reply to  davidl

My Aries husband actually has a Knight in shining amour in his office….a full sized statue.

Spirit
Spirit
February 18, 2010 2:06 pm
Reply to  Spirit

ooops –that should be armour

davidl
davidl
February 17, 2010 11:49 am

I mean, imagine letting Troy test you ?

davidl
davidl
February 17, 2010 11:38 am

OMG your a mind reader Myst, was just this morning thinking about lie detectors ?
or maybe Im the mind reader. If my partner organised one of these I’d say lies or not the relationship would be over red rover…like !! you don’t trust me ! so what have yooooooo been up to !!!

bluelibra
bluelibra
February 17, 2010 11:24 am

Oooooh (shudder). I’m not sure what I’m more disturbed by: his lack of subtelty; or the invasion of privacy… Eew eew eew! Or maybe its just the colour of the van – its wrong!

Pegasus
Pegasus
February 17, 2010 11:17 am

And last night’s news was about a software program that can be installed
in partners mobile to check his/hers call & to whom.
Apparently illegal.
But what’s happened to Intuition? Surely a person can tell w/o the spy ware.
Unless needs evidence for divorce & then something more subtle perhaps?

gem
gem
February 17, 2010 11:11 am

And a bit daggy. Like five years out of date with his hair/style. Big chest. Maybe blonde tips in his hair. An earring harking to his youth? One sleeper (you know the chemist piercing kind). Fast talker.

Aqua Fey
Aqua Fey
February 17, 2010 11:11 am

Ba ha ha ha ha

Anonymous
Anonymous
February 17, 2010 11:10 am

Love the lurid colour of the van and subtle advertising. Hilarious! There’s advertising Troy and then there’s your ability to fly under the radar. Or not.

So imagine, someone’s cheating and they see this van parked across the street….

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