What Sort Of Bird Foiled The Black Hole Machine???

Filed in Astro-Passages

Large Hadron Particle Collider

“THE $6.5 billion machine designed to recreate the conditions present at the beginning of time had to be switched off after a bird dropped a “bit of baguette” into it, causing it to overheat.

As a result, scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland had to postpone their plans last week to emulate the universe’s Big Bang….”

This news article is hilarious!Β  But really, what sort of bird flies over an apparently underground facility dropping bits of baguette. It seems so weird. And I’ve had cheap toasters that would still work with bits of baguette dropped in them.

I would love to know the exact time for when the bird with the baguette flew past & also, maybe this thing was not meant to be switched on with Saturn-Pluto squaring…Avian intervention…Amazing they knew it was a baguette too…Thoughts?

I reckon they should switch the Black Hole machine on when Jupiter conjoins Uranus at Zero Aries next year…that would be brilliant astro for a brave new world of particle physics & Dark Matter et al.

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64 thoughts on “What Sort Of Bird Foiled The Black Hole Machine???

    • Excellent news !!!…as I hate this bloody machine…seems like The Great Spirit hates it as well…keeps fuquing-up the plans….with glee !

  1. Go birds! Hooray for the random simplicity of nature. Just be sure not to get sucked in through the air vents next time my little pretties.

    Thanks for this Mystic. Hilarious. How did they tell it was a piece of baguette… and not a bit of panini or a morsel of turkish? Particularly if it had overheated! Funnay.

  2. Did anyone see that article by a scientist who claims that alien forces are disrupting the workings of this program to help us save ourselves from destruction and the destruction of neighboring galaxies ? Bird poo, yeah sure..

    • No I haven’t seen an article about alien forces davidl but if this keeps failing for obscure reasons something in the universe is causing the delay aye.

    • great idea, I could make toast for the 5 of us in one hit in the morning…maybe harvey norman will start selling them on 4 years interest free, now, at 6.5 b that means a monthly payment of…..

  3. lol that is pretty funny. Baguette sabotage … those particles do not want to collide do they? Personally I’m totally in the mood for some cataclysmic black hole action. I hope it sucks up every fuqing power tool, home renovation apparatus and leaf blower on the planet.

    • and the brainless d***heads who use them at 7am on a Sunday morning along with them!!!!!!!!!!!

      • love it when you get all hot and bothered prowin, would love to hear your rantings to some of those dheads, and i know what you mean…if sunday morning isn’t time for quiet and rest, what is ? In sydney someone would just shoot them or something.

    • prowlncat, i hear you! Leaf blowers would have to be the dumbest invention EVER!!!!! They send me into a total RAGE!
      Monday morning is torture for me. I get woken up at 6.15am by the bottle collectors who smash them all into the back of a truck, followed by the noisy garbage trucks at 7am. Then the leaf blowers start at 8am and then it’s a cacophony of door slamming from my inconsiderate neighbours!

      Not happy with my current abode.

      • leaf blowers , whipper snippers motorised edging machines etc are all a sad reflection of men at this point in the species evolution ( most men ). What ever happend to the good old rake and broom ? i still use a trusty shovel to do my edging and rake up leaves quietly. Even have a old school push lawn mover that cuts grass perfectly with no motor and silently ! you know the ones? i swear people slow down when they drive past to witness the spectacle and old mates on their way to the beach stop me and start reminising about the good old days. And while im on the soap box men should ditch all noisy toys and grab a surfboard and teach the kids how to surf or fish and “play” with their partner… much more fun than a noisy jetski or trail bike …

        • HIRED!

          right Damons you can be my local Aquarian-vigilante-rage-against-stupid-fuqing-irritating-household-machines neighbourhood dude who gets out with his rake and broom and surfboard and probably fairly hot surfers torso to show these fat, middle aged, type 2 diabetes attack waiting to happen creatures that pass for men where it’s AT. Dude. Righteous.

          You can have him after scorpy … promise not to break him! πŸ˜‰

          *high 5s*

  4. i told you guys its being sabotaged by peeps from the future … now they are using birds ! the bird is from the future!!! its a frickin time machine ! so obviously they fail beceause this thing will end up working beceause if it didnt they wouldnt be coming back to try and stop it ???? now im confusing myself… oh hang , on mabee it works and then they make them smaller and more compact in the future and are trying to fry this one so “THEY” have sole rights to the techno? it kinda looks like a stargate or something ? anyway, whatever this machine is im suss on it… how the heck did a bird with a peice of croissent / baguette in its mouth get inside one of the most heavily secured / monitered / guarded places on earth at the mo, and strategically drop a peice of bread in the exact spot to make this thing crash is beyond me folks …

    • so your saying I can be making the toast, while buying the bread, while eating it, etc etc…?

      • i dont really know what im saying and i dont know why i appear as anonymous sometimes …? maybe its time travellers fuqing with my computer ????

    • Naaaaah anonymous, bird is code and so is baguette. It was bill & ted dropping twinkies. Isn’t there some kind of border anomaly which means NO-ONE actually owns this technology? Some kind of strategic border / no mans land / joint mission thing? Just like open source code – we could all build one if we wanted to? I digress. It’s Bill & Ted coming back to trash it so they can stay in the future where the twinkies taste better. It’s all about the twinkies.

      • I imagine being able to one day go where no man has been, that place where one justs slips his hand into the time warp and obtains any twinkie from any particular time phase, that one bloody well wants…..ahhh, technology, what will they think of next ?

  5. some scientist munching on his ham and cheese baguette ??? it was a bird, i swear….

    i’m starting to think this machine is entirely something else to what it claims to be….bad vibes…..

    • Yes, prob one of those naughty frenchies ! . in that case it was more likely horse and cheese sandwich , hmmmm

      • Haha, David, you know about the Belgians eating HORSE!
        Raw too, actually smoked horse. Of course i freaked & wrote home about not
        trusting peeps that eat horse.

    score for the birds!
    maybe they should just take a hint already! – DONT DO IT!

  7. Think im going to start up a special gardening service … seriously! had the idea ages ago . Not your average deal tho , preferably female clients , (single) , garden maintenance with a twist , ie- organic herb and vege patch, self sufficent yards no matter how small or large. No petrol machines! silent hand tools only, reasonable rates. Landscaping , zen gardens , frog ponds , banzai etc. Native trees and shrubs to attract natives birds back into the neighbourhood no parrots tho just quiet pretty birds. No damn water features ! Oz just doesnt have the water to waste i personally hold Don Burke and Jamie Drury for the drought and the dams drying up! Dont those “gurus” realise how much water is lost to evaporation with those things??? I just threw in the comment about birds beceause that is kinda the theme to mystics post….. and prowlin , scorp robot and nat are egging me on and getting me all excited..!!!

    • sounds like a fab idea Damo. If only i had a proper garden/backyard. I live in an apartment with a tiny balcony where nothing grows. *sigh*

      • robots I’ve been thinking about something that would grow on your balcony. Have you ever seen a Hoya vine, some times called a wax flower? They can live in very small pots, in fact they flower better when pot-bound. They are rather exotic looking but pretty. There are native ones, Hoya australis for example. All you would need to do is clean the dust off the leaves occasionally and not over water. Over watering is the most common cause of demise of the house plant. Give me some specifications of what you want in a plant and the approx number of hours of sunshine that your balcony receives in winter & summer, and I will come up with some ideas for you.

        • wow, i just googled them – they are gorgeous!! I know the ones. They’re right up my alley. My balcony (3x2m) faces south west so doesn’t get much sun at all. I even have moss growing around the edges on the terracotta tiles!!
          When i first moved in 3 years ago i bought nearly $500 worth of fully grown plants (jasmine, a palm, and a huge gardenia bush) and they ALL died eventually. There was one Australian native (that only grows about 4m high – orange flowers like sea anenomes) that managed to survive but was out growing it’s pot and i gave it to my parents. It’s now thriving in their backyard πŸ™‚

          I bought a Jade plant a year ago which is doing okay and another plant that i don’t have a name for that thrives in all conditions – it’s my absolute favourite. I got the cutting from my mum who got it from an Eastern European lady. I saw it once in the Botannical Gardens years ago but it’s no longer there now. The leaves are like a five-leaf clover and it’s fragrant. If you run your hands over the foliage it smells like geranium. It’s root system is much like violets, so it’s easy to propagate. I’ll find out what it’s called one day

          I’m okay with just the two plants for now i think, I don’t plan on being in this apartment for the rest of my life, so don’t really want to invest too much in plant life. Very kind of you to offer ideas though.

          • glad you have some greenery robots. Jade plants (Crassulas) are amazing arent they. So tough and abundant. I like the rounded shiny leaves too. I don’t know the 5-leaved plant that you mention. If you ever come across the name I would lov eto know it. Violets, native or the introduced ones, do well in shade. Purple Robe is a particularly good variety of violet with big dark purple perfumed flowers. What a shame about your other plants. They all need some direct sunlight to do what they do best.

        • 40 acres by spade??? Good God Man, you are like the James Bond of Gardens.

          I dig it!

        • Love your enthusiasm Damons! You sound like a doer. Good for you. Are you SURE you are an Aquarian… what with your love of hand tools and old skool machinery and all??? Or maybe your visioning is so futuristic that you are way ahead of all of us!

          What will your gardening service be called? Will it have an astro theme?

          • I often ask myself if i am an Aqua nat, this cusp thing has me perplexed more of an ideas man but when i get up and go i really rise to the occasion i have nothing to prove to anyone , i think i might be the other type of Aqua more bohemian criusy type if i could be a animal id be a dolphin surfing playing eating and having sex all day for my whole life . When you said you have 40 acres i envisioned Nth NSW hinterland close to amazing surf beaches , you a dropdead gorgeous busty hippy natural type single nudist vegetarian 40 ish . Me rocking up at yours building a studio where i could paint portraits of you naked of course! Me manicuring and maintaining your property and animals and you, in exchange for accom falling in love , travelling the world together and just having a great time in general!!

          • *cacks self laughing* Damons I was gonna say you’d like to be “surfing playing eating and having sex all day for my whole life” but all in the nude right!!?? Loved the visuals and with all that romantic free love and travel mental riffing you must have Saggo and Pisces featuring in your chart somewhere – moon or venus??

            … and nat you’re in the starring role you dropdead gorgeous busty hippy natural single vegetarian nudist type you! lol

          • πŸ˜† you crack me up Damons! That is some vision you got going there from a bit of ‘spade edging’!!! Quite a few details right btw, but I won’t be saying which ones. A Scorpio rising must keep some secrets, you understand.

            If you know the exact date, time, location of your birth, then you will be able to find out exactly what degree the Sun was at and, therefore, whether it was in Capricorn or Aquarius as well as your ascendant and Moon placements etc. All available from the astrodienst the website for free. I think the rising sign (ascendant) & Moon signs bring an important influence to the Sun sign. Mercury also. And if you are an Aqua/Capricorn, it could be very useful to know Uranus/Saturn placements. Happy gardening!

  8. They want to create a black hole on earth… isn’t that a wee bit dangerous?
    (Maybe already did turn it on & every time we get deja vu, we’re actually remembering our alternate lives before the black hole was activated. Just a thought.)

    • if bird are messengers from spirtit somethings going on BIG TIME can feel it in the air? this morning i was woken by every fricken noisy minor in Australia when they all congregated in the huge old gum tree next door ! hundreds of them!!!! weird . Then as soon as i got up they bailed and its dead quiet as usual??? Also tho this morning i recieved an e-mail from one of my idols ledgendary travelling soul surfer of all time Jim Banks himself giving the tip for where to visit in Tahiti im SO stoked!!!

  9. nat im imagining which things i was right about you im guessing location wrong and most of the rest right??? and vegetarian some times not strict? Prowlin im cracking myself up ….

  10. mars in Aries , Dammit! s bot you have shattered my illusion now , i was having SO much fun this morning with that little fantasy.

    • sorry davidl , im so cheeky today , im just a man whore ! would love to be if i could be but deep down im loyal caring loving and exclusive to my love …. just thought i had her in my midst and she was the “one” but wasnt meant to be … must get on with it hey lifes too short and we MUST have fun!!!! nat and s bot, prowlin, rockstar, alll the ladies including Mystic are all great fun and nice people and its fun to flirt and stir as you know , your good at it too…

    • πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

      You are gorgeous all of you! And funny too. God knows we need a laugh & a bit of fun with the Saturn-Pluto dust up going on. Mystic’s site & her army of devotees usually provide it, thank goodness.

      Damons, don’t worry, your fantasy is safe with me hon’. Mars in Aries huh? Mmmmm. I like Aries energy (Moon in Aries myself, oh, and strict vegetarian). We still don’t know your ascendant…

      Well my lovelies, I must away & do some work.

      *blows kisses*

  11. nat , ascendant is gemini…. and i will continue with my little fantasy if thats ok. mmmmmmm…. strict vegetarian huh? so, i was incorrect about you being single and maybe location the rest is painting a VERY nice picture in my imagination let me assure you! Kisses back at you.

  12. It’s the atom splitter in search of the ‘God particle’ that was having the previously reported problems (supposed interference from the future), this is a different machine that they are now reporting problems with – and why not, since the atom smasher got a lot of press coverage out of its hiccups. I’m a bit sceptical on this one.

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