Heartbreak & The Pleiadian Deck Of Cards

Filed in Astro-Passages

Pleiadian Deck Of CardsHe Broke My Heart But I Got Over It…14

“…A while back I created an entire deck of playing cards after meeting a strange man in a bar one night. He was very friendly, engaging, well read…..and claimed he had just come to Earth from the Pleiades star cluster. Who am I to doubt him? I finished my wine, went back to my studio, and began working on my Pleiadian Deck of Cards…”

Yes, the artist’s name really is 14.


Between now and the New Moon in Scorpio (Nov 16/17) is excellent for getting over heartbreak, ditching no-good lovers and scoring the most awesome clarity re old relationships. Remember, Saturn, planet of boundaries, is in Libra, the sign of relationships. Pluto is the planet of transformation and in the sign of pragmatism. They are squaring which means stress but something new comes of it. Like after the transition stage of childbirth (transition is the worst pangs).Β  And that Taurus Moon we just was the Phoenix Moon but so is the New Moon in Scorpio…So do it. Employ whatever methods are most appropriate for you AND you will be aligned with the Cosmos and so happy at the New Moon stage of the Phoenix Moon in ten days time.

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128 thoughts on “Heartbreak & The Pleiadian Deck Of Cards

  1. oh cool. I’m feeling better already. Have ditched CUB for EVER, changed my numbers, been doing the depth psyche work on it, steeled to raise the little dung bug on my own etc. Have also made uncrossable boundaries for the GI, who only last weekend was having a go at my blog readers (so sorry Pegasus, I removed her comments as soon as I saw them) and then proceeded to email me reams of swearing and accusations of engineering an evil plot to ruin her life and her baby’s. Very disturbing. But now all CUB’s responsibilty.

    I am Freeeeee (thanks Saturn conj Uranus/South Node – natal – and Uranus conj MC)

    Love the Pleidian deck – but can’t figure out which card that one is supposed to be? If any? In all my decks its the 3 of swords which depicts the bleeding heart.

    love to all…

    Happy Birthday to Scorpalicious Robots – hope its your best year yet darling!


    • thanks TA. I think this is the best birthday i’ve had in a long time and i haven’t even started the celebrating yet!

      Good to hear you’re finally free of the CUB! GI sounds like a total nut job!


    • Good going TA! Was thinking Uranus oppositon might gift a transformation. Hooray!

      Nothing like letting those who have created their reality stew in it.

      My sentiments exactly also on the ex P who is now stuck with the mother of his child.

      FOREVER………….And forever is a fuq of a long time… πŸ™‚

      Meanwhile, like you , I’m free baby…Always was…

    • Beautiful TA, just saw this!

      Kudos, Congratulations and sending you focused vibes of bright healing. Now that you have released the CUB and the GI back to the wilds of Jerry Springer Land a la the trailer park low rent trash they have shown themselves to be, you are free to oscillate to your highest vibrations!

      Freedom Rains! And all our lands are green again, I am counting on the next ten days till the 16th for a bumper crop of a harvest so yes, mining the depths while on my hands and knees, between bouts of determined flight.

      Are you still in your beautiful hearth and home? Wherever you are with yours, and the darling dung bug who you have protected with this decision, I wish you protection and healing, darling. That and a happy, unfettered and thriving heart.

  2. Back to the original thought for a moment… auspicious that the same song, What a Joy it is to Dance and Sing, plays now at the moment of the letting go of the Aqua peep as it did when it kick started the relationship eight months ago! Clarity to come. Happy Happy Birthday Scorpalicious!

  3. davidl , i cant believe you said that about transfer of karma via intercourse! i knew you were going to cop it !!! so funny….. amazing theory tho.

  4. Thems are sure wierd cards, Harry. Not a very pretty site is 14. Convoluted.

    I’m on a creative surge that hasn’t happened for over 5 years, painting wise
    & creating cards.
    $18 for a sable hair brush with maybe a 1000 hairs. Wonder what a coat would cost??
    Anyways, have new gold & silver windsor & newton ink.
    Want to practise my skills again at persian like miniatures & masks like faces.
    Love mixing colours & the concentrated detail. Would that be Mars in Virgo trait?

    During the dark Moon, i’m going to excavate cases of paperwork in the shed after committing
    it to memory banks or just taking a few page summary of 16.000 pieces of written paper, diaries
    over 15 years. This would be Phoenixing?
    Ha, sounds like Andy Wahol who kept EVERY receipt & note displayed after his death.
    As my Inner Artist takes over, she thinks maybe keep it all as it might make bucks after i die:-)

    • Or perhaps even way way before… have a lovely time creating Pegasus, what is it that Czikcentmihayli (sp?) identified as essential to happiness?

      Ah yes, FLOW!

  5. Fallen Angel – my heart aches after reading your posting re: LeScorps travel plans. Wish there was something I could do or suggest to do, at the very least, enable your future protection from so much pain.

    • Thank you Blue Libra…your comment is enough, I don’t think I have a choice but to go through the paces, then maybe the balm of forgetting. But not everything.

      Your healing and well wishing vibes are more than appreciated. πŸ™‚

  6. The Western Tantric books have been very politically correct re Gay & have incorporated
    it into 20th/21st century life.
    The Amrita would be missing is all i will say.

  7. And what if you are gay??? O.m.g. Are they Karma free??? There is a book in this!!! Quick, someone pitch it. Dharma Dave. It’s a pity David is not gay. That cute beachy pic, an insistence that Gays Go Karma-Free, a tie-in with Chiva-Som and maybe even a series of workshops?

    • Im trying to find the book now, it was a text written about 80 years ago, an in depth understanding/ history of the rider waite cards. It did surprise me at the time, but as I mentioned before I have noticed that it may actually have some truth. Now as far as the gay community goes, only female sapphism is considered kosher in tantric practice…the original texts say that 2 men may injure themselves with tantric practice ? something about energy flows ?

        • Hey Lexi darlin’, there is a lot of old outdated texts in Tantra & The Kama Sutra.
          Everything is an energy exchange in some form or other. In the Tantra ‘bible’ it’s about the power of the juices & the esoteric meaning of them ie super powerful, highly creative etc.
          and thereby ‘honor’ them.

          Goggles & snorkle?

          • snorkle? – that depends on the fella…
            so many outdated / outmoded texts in this world, and others that are just plain silly, but maybe this loophole works in our favour – i quite like this idea of gay sex erasing your karma. imagine the recruitment campaign we could commence… oh so many t-shirt slogans springing to mind…

      • OMG, i was just checking out the website of this fancy pants bar i’m going to tomorrow night. They have wine from all over the world.
        And would you believe they have a wine called Fallen Angel from Marlborough, NZ!! How’s that for synchronicity!
        Thanks for your lovely words and kind wishes. x

        • That’s me giving you a wink baby! Let’s hope that wonderful bottle of wine comes with a hot Virgoan male angel ready to help you ring in your celestial new year!

          All due respect for your 2 year celibacy, but would be an amazing bonus if all the stars aligned and produced explosions of fire flies for your delight. xxx

  8. I read in an old tarot book a while back that women take on the karma of any man they allow to, umm, penetrate. Ive seen evidence of this being possibly true.

      • smart! it might explain why i have taken on board so much of my past partners’ ‘stuff’ so quickly, and wanting to rescue them. yick.

        we need the psychic equivalent of a condom to avoid this πŸ™‚

        ‘ultra protection plus’ lol.

      • I’ve been celibate since 2005.

        Yep, mixin’ your fluids and aura with someone mixes, well, “stuff”.

        During my recovery from one back surgery in circa 1999, the Pisces called and called and I let down my defenses only to have him in my bed and he’d been seeing someone else. Well, duhhhhhhhhhh!

        Felt I’d been like a freaking nun for ten months prior but despite his calls I wouldn’t see him until I’d had the fusion in my back. Boy was I pissed later germ wise when I thought of the irresponsibility of him and of course me letting him back in my life without proper testing. I mean really, I will NEVER have relations with ANYONE unless I know they are clean.

        But I was too easy back then, literally, due to my emotional vulnerability and physical condition.

    • Oh for FUQS sake David. Really. I mean as if woman haven’t enough to do what with giving birth etc. I hope this same book also said it could be then transmitted to cats who would then harmlessly transmute it.

    • Holiest of Inannas, davidl is this is true then by goodness, I should be at the River Styx by now as Le Scorp has some serious karma coming to him.

      Which has had me puking my guts out in a purge to end all purges, ladies and gents, he is planning to go on a sex tour to Clark Air Force Base in Manila, yes that’s right the country of my birth. This is a place so broken and so base that parents offer their children to pedophiles, for all his vile infidelities that he should participate in this cycle of abuse and debasement sickens me in a way no words could describe.

      I would offer Heaven both my wings to remand all that was good in his life and leave him abandoned finally to a wilderness of unsatisfied lusts and Viagra blindness. Not once had he ever offered to meet my mother prior to her passing and now he deigns to visit that country for an evil excursion.

      Heaven has lost its tongue and I hope, so dearly dearly hope, found its unmitigated wrath.

      I hope in ten days those bells toll for him till he goes deaf.

      • FA!! what?? ru serious about le scorp?? wtf? how on earth did you find this out (and the rest)?? it’s horrendous, no, beyond that. you poor thing no wonder you are puking your guts out..?!?!

        and this guy has a FAMILY? moreover is HUMAN (doubtful)?

        gaaahhh can’t you just put him out of his misery and like “arrange” something…

        • UP, I couldn’t make this up if I wanted to. How did I find out? I have employed every power available to me which I did not do so before out of respect for his privacy and in the interest of allowing things to unfold.

          But I could hardly sleep at night anymore and thus when intuition calls, I answered. Trust me, I have this on good knowledge – I found out and literally 5 minutes later passed out. Came to 20 minutes thereafter thinking, is this a nightmare?? Is this real??

          Yet…it is. And yes, he has a family – a Toro son who never wishes to speak to him again. A Gem daughter who zips along happily. And a Cappo wife who is desperately wanting to remain unaware.

          How funny you said that… I did think that, for surely I could, he would be greeted upon landing, I would only have to say one word to the Violent Aqua Brother and it would be done. But he is not even worth the mercy of that.

          No, he should wither and waste like his soul has. He will have my tears but no more than that.

          • god…what a realisation…good detective work fa – you could never have imagined…i am a real believer in called-for investigation when your own wellbeing is at stake.
            although it might not be mercy euthanasia for him, it would surely keep a few others from his revolting behaviour… yea yeah karma whatever but even the dalai lama supported killing someone if their death would prevent that of thousands of others…
            i do sound a but gruesome, this is the venus-in -aries part of me wanting to take it to the streets, seriously

          • UP, you will have to take a number for this “man”, and I use that word very very loosely in this case, has inspired hatred in at least 2 continents, perhaps three by the end of the week. There is a queue. He is working on Latin America as we speak, endeavoring to romance soberly Catholic single mothers in countries like Colombia, et al.

            I have had two standing offers to “jack” him… the Nubian Toro seriously asked today if I needed some homeboys sent round, and the Lovely Libran sister – yes, A LIBRAN no less, offered to create a “welcome contingent” if he does set foot on Clark using nameless men who would do any kind of harm for as little as a cigarette. It does not bode well.

            I admit I am tempted. But mostly I am bothered at those he preys on, some are vulnerable, some are weak…and some, well, are probably in the same category as he. Part of me wants to open that window of Truth but I reckon it would not be appreciated quite yet, people are loathe to let go of their illusions and as a deceiver he sees himself as an expert.

            So I am sure that for those who seriously want it, they will find a way to find me or the truth, or both in case they are interchangeable.

      • OMG angel… I feel like crying reading your revelation on Le Fuqing Fuq Head Scorp. Words cannot…ugh, so much depravity…worse. OMG, children!!

        darling I hope you are holding up ok, your poor wings must be working overtime… love to you xxx

      • Oh FA, sweetheart I am so sorry to hear your torment. May Le Scorp’s dick rot and literally fall off. Hmmm can we do some sort of mantra so he will never get it up again maybe. That way he cannot ever have satisfaction on this verminous sex tour or spill his disease into any other innocent woman.

        Karma will happen I assure you. He is hurtling down into a hell deeper than imagined.

        You will phoenix, you are a warrior, you will soar again xxx

        • Singed TA darling, but still flight-worthy. I DO love the new name btw..

          I rely on a lot of sleep, not that I can stay awake for too long as the business of living is much hindered by the reality of feeling. It gets to be too much at times…and some days, not waking up seems like a good idea.

          And just to be clear, I don’t think he’s a pedophile but that place caters to that as well as all sorts of sex tours. It IS vile, and a cycle of abuse I still gag when I think this “person” I had loved would participate in. How are you darling TA?

          Salacious, it is torment but now there is freedom. He entrapped me with his lies but no more. Unless you dry up the Viagra supplied in North America and even then he could get knock offs in Asia, I doubt he will ever leave himself un-erect for very long. Specially not as he has also purchased a penile extender.

          Yes, you read that right. Am not making that up either.

          So my Sisters of the Flames, I look longingly for the new growth beneath all this dark ash, I had never wished him harm before but now…even my disgust frightens me while yours, Salacious, absolutely delights. Could he not have taken any of the light I gave him and chosen better?

          Apparently not. My good has abandoned him, and I hope all who meet him know well enough to depart before too long. My love and blessings to you both xxx

          • FA -the mere fact that he could leave you for this rot just shows how beneath you he really is. You deserve better sweetheart, as does all our co bloggers who have aching hearts at present.

            My Scorp signed the docs only last week and they are all in court with no drama. Since then its been so odd, I have friends trying to match make me already!! : o

            Even my own Aries daughter and her bestie have been trying to cook up a mmeeting with her bestie’s dad who is tres interested in me etc. I made sue I was out when he dropped in! Then I met this sweet Italian dude who was new in Oz etc and I helped him with places to go etc and now he is going all drooly!

            THe wonderful thing is that here I am feeling like a hag and just wasted and all blah and I am not looking! So it has been like – wow I am still a woman and not a train wreck after all? : o

            My sweet Mum did not want me attending some family functions because she felt awkward at having to explain that I was going through a second divorce!! She even did not tell me about a funeral for this very reason! So I have felt a hag within and without. So FA I can soooo understand your exhaustion and feeling of being gutted. The beauty is that we on this blog are so caring and supportive of each other and we can just be ourselves – a delightful mix of being saintly and shocking!!

            I know you will soar again FA xxxx

          • Salacious darling, so glad your Scorp has let you get on with the business sans drama and that you are enjoying a much deserved renaissance of your attractiveness. I wish I was there already, but alas no..

            BTW, I left him. But yes, he caused it by engaging in this rot..I am a bit woeful at your Mum’s “diplomacy” which I understand as well-intended but your history is your history, nothing will change it. I am sure she meant well but I suffer from the same feelings as you do, my friends love me but at times the looking at me as if I were “poor demented Angel for having loved that man and she obviously has zero judgment” does get to me.

            I am delighted to hear that you are now at that point where the door to welcoming some romance, flirtation and mingling with the opposite sex is open and can brighten your day. I don’t know what I would do if I could not seek refuge here like you do… just so I can be.

            I had a very bad night tonight when I got overcome with tears when not even a week ago I could hardly cry without inducement and was bone dry as a desert, then today suddenly a deluge. May have something to do with the 8th having been Le Scorp’s bday, him being in my city not even 7 miles away and my having to miss a music thing we were to go to (he ended up going so I did not) I had prepared for all year. Oh as well as everything else, (laughs tiredly)..

            But tears are good..it means I can still feel things. Hopefully, it will be happier things sooner than later. Darling, have fun as you are courted, and enjoy your blooming in the new sun. It gives me heart to see you thrive slowly but surely again..

    • David, not so sure it’s so much karma but definitely absorbing a certain energy
      from them & have also seen it happen..a lot.

      The more i know of sexual energy, the more i will not have enclosure as it’s far too
      bonding for me. I joke & say ‘you would have to marry me for that’…..sure stops the desire:-)!

      Saggigal, your words ring true about psychic connections & be sure that if they/you are thinking of them, they/you are thinking of them too. Energy flows to where attention goes.

      Time wounds all heels.

  9. am just SO o.v.e.r mon Ex – phew!!

    proof this saturday will be unavoidable w Aries Ex & I @surf comp – hahahaha he drew 7.30am heat (*prays he gets home @7 not arrives at contest*) – either way – both Hot Young Sag & RockRoll Piscean Chef are on hand, also many coming from far & wide for reunion of past 3 decades of beach stalwarts……

    will keep New Moon in Scorp thoughts handy should there be unexpected outcomes, tho doubt it!


  10. After last breakup kept getting the empress card and sending myself bats over what/who she represented. Ended up switching to Oracle tarot…all positive cards, beautifully illustrated. Happy just looking at their design.
    After cutting all ties to lingering exes, now reviewing when exactly i lost faith…and trying to mend the mess. looking forward to a New beginning and strangely positive after waking with stevie wonder tune running through my head.

  11. Makes ABSOLUTE SENSE – said Gemini ex has re-ermerged from the woodwork these last three days – yet remains totally ambiguous / non-commital. Have been waiting for guidance from the universe as how to respond – so THANK YOU Mystic πŸ™‚

  12. I couldn’t believe my own ears at all the things that were tumbling out of my own mouth about my recent relationship to my counsellor. Clarity is the right word Mystic, I’ve been ‘seeing’ things with a new perspective. Thing was I hadn’t been consciously thinking of it till I sat in front of her.

    venus a-go-go this was a topic of our convo too they aren’t on the same page or haven’t accepted that its over. Sometimes you gotta be so straight with them otherwise they’ll think that theres hope when there isn’t.

    • Its funny that you take it that way Savannah. He is the one who did the split, he is the one who has a girlfriend (that he is living with)…
      … I have no idea what exactly I need to be straight with him about. I have been fighting the urge since monday to call him up (more likely text him) asking what is going on?
      He is either still haboring something… or hates me completely. I am trying to work out whether the friendship is worth the effort (or whether I am haboring something or hate him). I am thinking currently that whatever ‘it’ is has actually nothing really to do with me and I should muddle about…doing my own thing.

      • hey venus a go go, hope this doesnt sound too flakey (im assuming youre an open minded person seeing you are here though!) but i have found that beyond words, emotions, break ups etc, and despite ‘moving on’ there can still be powerful energetic psychic cords that attach us to people. even if he thinks that he has moved on (baby etc) that doesnt mean that he isnt still somehow in your energy. a good practitioner can easily cut those ties and free you both. and of course we always can feel what someone is thinking about us if weve been involved with them intimately before. i dont mean we can read their minds, but that if he is thinking of you alot, for whatever reason, you would be able to feel that, even if it makes no ‘logical’ sense in your day to day lives.

        hope that helps.

        • Thanks saggigal,

          I have actually had soem energy work done in relation to a past relationship (ages ago, very bad man… she cut the ties and I spent the next few hours vomiting all over the shop. Thing got better after that point).
          I guess I am having difficulty believing that he would actually be thinking of me (infact I spent alot of my time making myself think that) so all this ju-ju is making me shitty.

        • Darling Saggigal, pray tell, what practitioner could hack these psychic chords off? I will need one with a smartly sharpened machete so as to complete my flight away from Le Scorp. If thou means counselor I shall pass as I am not yet in the stage where I am being welcoming of advise along the lines of “take a peaceful walk, commune with nature” sort of thing..

          Rather I am at the stage where fevered dreams overtake my sleep and I wake up exhausted but determined to keep on running the complete opposite direction of Le Scorp…

          • Keep walking, Angel of the Fall.
            Butchs’ pull on me is also strong but NO, i will not contact him.
            So many breakups & returns that i decided the last one was the last one.
            It’s a battle, my love, but it’s what’s best for us.

          • Mine was a huge battle too Pegs of breaking up, going back…over and over. THAT was freaking karma.

            And yet here I am listening to Peter Murphy…”Deep Ocean, Vast Sea” whom I have not listened to since the Pisces introduced me to him in 1994. LOL…Just thought today how the music that used to tear me up no longer does. I listen to Enya everyday at work…Nada feeling about it…

            “Your head’s a supernova
            And would you like, anything to stop the pain from your fingers screamng…

            Oh good heart vibes to you Angel doll….xo Do KNOW it’s certainly a process..

          • Mine was a huge battle too Pegs of breaking up, going back…over and over. THAT was freaking karma.

            And yet here I am listening to Peter Murphy…”Deep Ocean, Vast Sea” whom I have not listened to since the Pisces introduced me to him in 1994. LOL…Just thought today how the music that used to tear me up no longer does. I listen to Enya everyday at work…Nada feeling about it…

            “Your head’s a supernova
            And would you like, anything to stop the pain from your fingers screamng…

            Oh good heart vibes to you Angel doll….xo Do KNOW it’s certainly a process..

          • fallen angel my love i most certainly do not mean a counsellor, and after reading about the travel plans of Le Scorp i am truly horrified and even more empathetic about your connection with him. i mean FUUUUUQQ.

            the practioners i am speaking of deal with shamanic practices, soul retrieval, and are able to restore your energetic field so that you dont have cords etc all in your system. and of course they have to be really credible, lots of loopy ‘healers’ out there. but the good ones are so incredibly powerful at dealing with this stuff.

            ps interesting that you said sharpened machete- one of the images that they regularly ‘see’ in peoples energy field when theres been alot of toxic enmeshment are swords and daggers. scary stuff when you think about it.

          • Ah yes, Pegasus the flame of the Fiery is strong yes? Isn’t it funny how much of it is like an invisible cord that lays firmly under earth and water, is invisible in air yet pulls and pulls, like the song of a birth place.

            The birth place of something indeed. In this case, my wings once more. I hear it even now, and the notes fall painfully on my skin, just like raindrops of fire would. They sizzle.

            But I can only offer to lift someone aloft, not bear them away unwillingly which as by Le Scorp’s plans betray, he is determined to circle every one of Dante’s Inferno until I am not even a memory. To be honest, had our parting been because of my death – though in fact it was a determined and announced disappearance, he had hardly waited for my body to grow cold or pay me a moment’s grief.

            So busy is he in his plans that he has been casting his net wide and strong via the internet in Asia, in Latin America, and even here. And how my heart aches for whatever was best that I had loved in him, how I had looked to see if whatever shards of light I had planted would bear fruit but there is no such proof.

            He is determined to destroy himself. As well as others.

            Saggigal, do you know of a good practicioner? I would love to hear of one. And how amazing that you mentioned the swords and daggers, in the beginning of this year I had a persistent visitor in my head, a warrior huntress who did nothing all day but patiently and measuredly hacked away at a piece of flesh in a clearing. She was beautiful, dark haired, dark eyed and armored, untiring, her skin glistening with the sweat of the never ending cutting. And I could hear it too, the thwack of her blades through the air.

            Now I know that perhaps it was my soul preparing me for that final rupture. I kid you not though I have very very disturbed dreams.

          • Thanks Sweetpea! But with a real glittering sharp blade in hand I MAY just get confused as to what to cut… the chords or his…????

          • howzat, whilst writing to Angel, Jimi Hendrix came on my IPod…’Angel’
            was the song.
            It is sadness a love that cannot be, just too unhealthy in my case.
            But, hey, you still love over & above the anger of what could have been.

            If they were not soo full of themselves there was room for no other.
            As i said about Butch ‘he wouldn’t move over’.
            One has to make room for a relationship, give some things up, that’s just they way it works.

            Have a great deal of simpatico for both men for what they have missed.
            In other words I FEEL SORRY FOR HIM/THEM….hahahah.

          • fa, yes i Do know of a good- no, amazing- practictioner, but alas not in the States, here in Oz. i know that some can do distant healings but ive never heard her talk of them or offer them.

            But youre in LA right? i would bet money that there are good ones there (and alot of kooks, but you can tell who they are intuitively). Id google/ look in local paper/ etc for shamanic practitioners, especially those who you get a sense can deal with real grief and pain, not those just wooshing around with a crystal in their hand. you know what i mean.

            PS have you heard of the ‘Ring of Fire’? (not johnny cashs). Martha Beck, she talks about being transmuted by ‘fire’ into your true self, the one outside of identity etc. Id also recommend Linda Leonard, though in truth there is only so much you can read, and your ‘mind’ can process before you just need to deal with it, process it, release it, through the body and your energy. ie i can vouch for acupuncture, deep tissue massage and yes any energy work you can find.

            once you start looking for the right practictioner, they usually appear. keep your ears open.

            sending you lots of blessings and light.

          • Wow, Pegasus, I am so loving the vibing together… it is the wee hours here and you know, those ones are the hardest ones to bear at times…so the time difference is a blessing in this case!

            Oh, I look upon Le Scorp like a mission I simply cannot complete..I think every love we have both hurts and heals us, hopefully more on the healing. But I have had to retreat for it no longer makes any sense, if I stay longer I will simply adopt all his habits and the poison would take me over. I would re-write things just to bear them to be livable in that situation.

            I am too enamored of truth to do that, my nature so as it is his to lie. I am sorry to hear about Butch but HIS LOSS!

            Saggigal I will check out shamanic practitioners here, I’m just trying to avoid anyone who wants to take me up the roof to greet the aliens…haha..but I will keep an eye out. You are so right about physical processing, I am scheduling two deep tissue massages this weekend in an effort to exorcise the bone weariness that seems to never leave me. You’ve given me very good points to look at even if I’m not quite there yet… thank you so much.

          • FA, another thing, re: your dreams. though ‘counseling’ can be very ‘oh im soothing, take a walk in the bushland, you’ll be ok’ ineffective (in my opinion), a really good, get down and dirty psychoanalyst (NOT psychiatrist) can be a godsend. again, i can speak from experience. Jungian analysts are absolute amazing with dreams, because of course dreams are highly personal,not something anyone can understand from one of those silly generic dream dictionaries.

            dreams are often your subconcious/ energy trying to purge out pain etc by getting past your logical mind, to show you your archetypal- and true- journey through a situation/life/relationship. your warrior visions sound very in line with this, even if you had them during ‘waking’ hours. dreams can also be like literal visitations with another- trying to resolve things at a soul level that for whatever reason just cannot be solved at a physical, material level. which is why being ‘haunted’ by something/someone really is them visiting you/not letting you go etc. you get my drift.

            i dont know how much analysis youre applying to your intense dreams, but it could be another approach. it sounds like on all levels you (your subconcious as well as conciously) are ready to burn up your psychic and karmic connection to this man- ‘Demon Lover’- no matter what. you are at the final, and most intense part of the journey but- and im sorry to use a cliche but its bloody true- it is ALWAYS darkest before dawn. and even when we thought Le Scorp could not plunge you into any more darkness, he pulled out something even worse.

            this really is your time to PHOENIX INTO SOMETHING NEW.

            LOVE love and blessings FA!


          • Saggigal, the artist above mentions ‘Ring of Fire’ in her list of interests. I’d never heard of it. God I love this blog! So much learning.

          • Saggigal, your guidance has been amazing, yes Jungian analysts would be the way to go! I knew from the moment this Other appeared that the clock was ticking by, and even I was filled with a sense of dread as I knew a greater power would command my decision and my flight, rather than the smaller “rational” I who could have debated things to and fro. Who would have searched for compassion or stewed in anger.

            But how tireless She was and how Resolute. Somehow her presence had prepared me for that moment of discovery, that awful and soul crushing dawn when I discovered everything. It took naught but a few hours to go from that point to flight, and I was happy to die in it. Calmly.

            I teeter between moments of non-feeling and sensory overload, between studying things clinically and having every word, act and wound etched over and over again. Though I cannot fathom what the next day brings or even understand how to plan – as having one’s faith shaken so badly that it is nothing but a bare tree, I am fuller for having lived through it. Fuller for being lucid and quiet, and balanced – even when he brought me a tempest.

            My economy of words with him said more than any prolonged discussion would have, and just like anything that ends, I gave it the silence it deserved. Tomorrow I see my physician and I hope everything will be well. And he would not care, for as I write this he is in my city not even 7 miles away.

            I had thought to leave for the weekend for I dearly wish he never came here or ever returns, but now I am glad I stayed home. Too many times has he broken my peace, and too many times driven me away from my home, not anymore. So yes, it IS dark here, overly so…but the Phoenixing goes on, I shall be true to it and to all your blessings.

            May we all rise again!

      • Sorry didn’t mean to offend. Didn’t have the full story. I assumed by “giving them the flick” you’d initiated the split.

        • He liked to keep me around for moral support and… i actually have no idea why he kept me around…
          I have been putting my foot down since the beginning fo this year about his behaviour.
          Its all been quite pass agg actually.
          Bizarrely today he borke his silence. I feel less like maiming him cos I got offered an interview for a job. YAY!
          On the up and up. Whether he behaves for long, who knows… don’t much care, just at the moment.

          • Venus, wasn’t quite in on the whole story but reading that I had a flash that isn’t that just the way?

            The second one is enjoying some kind of success or happiness, unrelated to the source of the complaint, voila they appear. So glad to hear you haven’t let it shadow the moment…

          • I found that sometimes an ex will like to keep all the bits of a relationship that suited them, if they can, on tap, as it were…if you don’t recognise it, and or call them on it.

            At one point I had the leo ex calling for support when his new love had an appendix attack. While I said that I was sorry she was ill, I couldn’t, wouldn’t talk him through it…ie help him deal with the emotions it evoked in him…

            A week before their wedding I again had to spell out that while I was happy to be friendly with him to co-parent, beyond that I wanted our level of conversation to liken one I would have with a grocery store checkout person…(which actually gives more latitude than it should because people just tell me stuff…lot’s of interesting stuff,it’s just I’m actually interested in their stuff, just not my exes)…

            That seemed to draw the line.

            Anyways beyond the past and dealing with it, you V-A-GG have an upcoming job interview…congrats…

            What type of job are you going for ? Regardless good luck, wishes, the whole kit and caboodle of blessings to ya.

          • FA… he has been casting a shadow for 2 years now.
            All this stuff is mine and for me. He has no part in it and therefore his presence effects it not! My Cancerian friend call those sort of guys boomerangs. Shoot off at the first sign of trouble… come back around when the coast is clear:)
            Your Le Scorp story is truly heartbreaking. I feel for you FA!
            LL: Its more hard loosing the person that was such an intimate. I miss havng him to sort my head out and mouth off to. I think we might both miss it… but have just moved on too far to do anything about it.
            JOB STUFF: Collection Access Technician for ACMI. The job seem interesting, but I have another position that I have applied for at the ABC that I _reeally_ want… so I am a little in turmoil about.
            The Ex popped and started to talk me through it.. which is good. And odd. Mostly good.

          • LL, you are so right… the Nebulous Cancerian ex-husband did that too, there was some expectation I would be retained as the Oracle cum Financial Advisor (roll of eyes). I DO love your “grocery clerk” boundary, and feel that at the end of things, it is far healthier for me to leave the past where it is.

            Venus A Go, darling, to be honest with you – you absolutely come across perfectly lucid to me, and I have a sneaking suspicion the Ex is not actually as instrumental in sorting things out for you as he thinks he is. Of course I could be wrong… right now like you say, its mostly good. It will be hard with Saturn in Libra to not be sensitive to how those scales will tip later, whether the value of having him as a sounding board/mirror is worth risking possibly feeling your emotions toyed with.

            I am convinced your Ex cares for you, and may have the best of intentions, but the Pass Agg behavior is a clue to a pattern that keeps you without TRULY keeping you. I am sure you will know best.

            Most Virgos I know (and as a Virgo Rising myself) have been subject to humility and some doubts about their confidence in thinking things through, there is something in the precision of thought that goes off a bit and tends to go highly strung that it can obscure a truly solid ability for self-determination. You mentioned that all the stuff is yours and is not affected by the Ex, which to me is a pretty clear statement of how apparent those lines are for you.

            I think you will do well and by your own council decide on the best course. Perhaps just an experiment and skip his “support” on this one? And you can see that his attention is nice but not so necessary…? Just a thought… my best vibes whichever job you decide on.

          • “Most Virgos I know (and as a Virgo Rising myself) have been subject to humility and some doubts about their confidence in thinking things through, there is something in the precision of thought that goes off a bit and tends to go highly strung that it can obscure a truly solid ability for self-determination.”

            My daughter a Virgo rising FA and she told me last time I saw her, “I have a problem with self confidence” and yet she is accomplished in various areas. I’m thinking time and maturity will assist her. She’s approaching her Saturn return next month.

            Thanks for sharing that.

          • Sweetpea, I’m glad it brought some insight! As a Virgin Rising I can say that nothing but hard won experience seems to have worked for me…where most people wing it, I tend to only feel at peace to have earned it. The good news is once you do, there is absolutely nothing anyone can say to shake that core…so it does take time, maturity and loads and loads of practical authenticity!

          • Venus a-g-g years later, I still miss that aspect of my relationship with my ex…I mean I don’t miss it constantly, but every now and then I recollect how well we worked together, when we did work well together, I have a little pang for THAT past.

            However with distance I’ve also gained some insight into our past dynamic. Talking with a lifecoach/counsellor type dude, along with stuff that is happening now, I mentioned a way my ex had considered he helped me (as a past pattern thing)…and the lifecoach dude actually let a little chuckle slip, and went ah actually that illustrates pretty well his narcissism. Which made me realise that he had a fair amount invested in the idea of me needing his support.

            Thanks for deets re:job…either sounds interesting, and either may reveal unexpectedly cool things…hope you get the broadest of choice selections for yourself.

          • Touche LL, that was some insight, and yes, makes complete sense with the narcissism. You summed it up so nicely for Venus A Go.

            Pangs for the past are always there aren’t they? And I have to think they are just an honoring for what was, which we don’t necessarily have to rewrite.. just to remember and cherish, and leave behind. Hope you are well.

  13. How about ex boyfriends who are weird and wont be nice, yet wont go away either?
    Will they suddenly grow some desiciveness/balls?
    Cos giving them the flick doesn’t seem to actually get rid of them.

  14. Prithee MM,
    How am I to determine what methods are most appropriate for me? If I knew them, surely I’d have had a transplant er something by now. 30 years of angst and still can’t give it up. Any and all advices happily received – and acted upon.
    Virgo/Virgo rising.

    • Ooooohhhhhh, I’m so with you!
      Virgo/Nothing rising, it seems and close behind you at 27 years. But I’m giving it up – June 2010 (I have some planning time to get myself in order first).
      Meditation, emptying out and allowing the already known to flow into consciousness is a good step towards clarity. It just happens and is true. So, maybe start with that and let us know if it works for you. Trust yourself.

      • You know Goethe said that too, “Just trust yourself, and then you will know how to live.” I have no idea who “I” am anymore, if I ever did, since mebbe 8 years old. Kin I afford to regress that far at this st/age?
        Sat and watched the subway cars go by this evg – wondering at this waste of skyn. Feel like Lassiter, lost in the dust – which way to go and why even? Sabian symbol for the full moon in Taurus, on top of my natal moon was “A Woman Sprinkling a Long Row of Flowers”, and the symbol for the Scorpio sun, conjunct my Venus and Saturn was “A Drowning Man is Being Rescued”.
        Perhaps the currents will wash me back to some shore but I do not understand what you mean by “allowing the already known to flow into consciousness”. Empty, I am: a husk.
        Thanks for replying. I am “feeling” very alone. I have allowed myself to become isolated. (I sort of get it – childhood sexual abuse – domestic violence: sposed to be a recipe for how I arrived here.) I need the scent of water on the path out of the willywilly: I keep envisioning mirage oases.

        • Fool4luv, if you”still can’t give up” maybe it’s because subconsciously you don’t want to. Your past/story must serve some purpose. Your past does not define you. Not knowing who you are anymore is a great place to be. Enlightenment comes just after confusion as they say.

          Personally i found reading “The Power of Now” and “The New Earth” by Eckardt Tolle helped me come out of a really dark period about 2 years ago.

          wish you well on your journey. πŸ™‚

          • i just read A New Earth last night (finally….) and read it front to back in one sitting. amazing and instantly powerful (ive read about the pain body before but didnt ‘get’ it , beyond my mind, until last night. wow).

          • that book changed my life!
            Cool that you finally “got” it. Sometimes it takes a while for the penny to finally drop.
            It took me weeks to finish the book…. i like to process things slowly.

            Oh, and i recall you mentioning shamanic practitioners being able to hack off psychic chords. I was chatting to a friend the other night and she said her kinesiologist saw/sensed a big hook around her heart and one around her ankle!! spooky! He got rid of them and they broke up a week later.

  15. Now may be a good time to launch my website on how to go out and get your heart throughly stomped ion. 25 easy ways, two mintes till your next heartbreak. needs catchy title.

    I have done it all and learnt very little.

    However, I have ditched the tortured crab/lazy leo for good just last week so thats a start.

    I’m not quite so bad as the youtube about a girls heartbreak after her hubby left her soon after the fairy tale wedding. It is her blubbering away for 10 mintues and is excruiating and heartbreaking to watch.

  16. I thought you said they wre the best for predicting the future. I’m TOTALLY happy for you to revise that though. It was kind of depressing. The website I used was the fourthdimension.net. Can’t say I recommend it for either mac or PC users however…

  17. Did I say they were the best? I just use Waite though i LOVE the Thoth deck too. I found an online Thoth site but it didn’t work for me and i tried it on three different browsers – not Mac friendly maybe?

    • yeah i use a similar one – no they are not mac friendly!
      deff’s use a PC mystic!
      BTW saw a “fake” pyschic the other day – i mean she looked like one of those cartoon ones – the beads the shawls the excessive chanting!
      like i asked her what she thought about the ecconomic crisis and shes like “onomobjmmjgjhfjghdhjghfashjdvashiojklo9jmom”


      what do u see for me
      P: IM SORRY my powers are gone kaput today


  18. OMG I love you! Ok that’s probably the most inappropriate thing to say but look… this morning, I got a completely unexpected email from my emotionally abusive ex, in which he basically apologized for our entire relationship, admitted to having treated me like crap, and just generally tried to finally clear the air … after 5 years. I’m now in the midst of composing my response to him, and I am trying to do this in a way that gives me closure and doesn’t bring him back into my life but also grants him some forgiveness and sends him on his way with wishes for good luck and growth and … Jeeze. I just really feel like the universe is responding to me right now. I asked for guidance, and I sure have gotten a lot of input from the world at large lately. I think once I complete this particular exchange, I’m going to feel amazing… I just know shedding this baggage will be a great thing. Mwah! Mystic, I am continually amazed at your insights.

  19. …I got over it. Thank god. Light at the end of the tunnel. Bring on the new moon.

    I keep doing these online Thoth deck readings after MM said they were the best deck and the readings are bad. So I’m just going to say the online mediation of cards doen’t work and go with this deck. There’s a strange optimism in the picture I think.

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Mystic Medusa