Emo Vamps…A Pluto Theme?

Filed in Pluto

Emotional Vampires - Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry

This feels kind of retro to me (then again, Mercury IS Retro) but lately a lot of peeps i talk to are mentioning this book. I thought it was way old & sort of obvious but maybe it’s either (a) a new book and i am just outta touch with self-enrichment lit as I all i currently read in that vein are my Wolves book & the Qi guide.  BUT this Emo Vampire thing  is being raved about. Is it feeling super-relevant because of Pluto stationing Direct and Saturn/Uranus new era stuff??? As people consciously try to sift through various aspects of their lives a la the shitfight between Saturn & Uranus?

Years ago i  used to be a LOT more vulnerable to the variety of person described in this book. These days i am way more ruthless & tend to go on a gut vibe. I think this ability to throw up effective shields et al definitely improves after Saturn Return. It’s those Saturn Girl ‘set and forget’ boundaries again.

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76 thoughts on “Emo Vamps…A Pluto Theme?

  1. Brow chakra/3rd eye is symbolic of intuition & insight, imagination & peace of mind.
    So yes, wouldn’t disturbances you have been having relate to that AAC?

  2. The Bay of Fires Walk. I like walking but also like the hot bath and dinner after the long day. It’s the best holiday. Thank you all for such good advice. I’ve had a lucky escape. xx

  3. AAC, everyone copes with grief in a different way. Some will give you a huge hug and drop soup n scones at your door without intruding. That’s the way I was brought up in the Western district of Victoria. So I knock and drop food at your doorstep, cos I have been there.

    Others seem to find such powerful emotions of loss frightening n thus they keep their distance. It is just that grief can be contagious. Me and my bestie have been cycling through it madly since … well, July 4th really when the eclipse season all started.

    It’s intense. But it is a spiritual growth spurt.

    Be true to your self ~ have integrity. Back away from those who cannot comprehend your pain. Stick with people who make you laugh through your tears.

    “And all this too shall pass”

    Big hug


      • Thanks saggigal and nat. and Matt.
        am making fruit cakes (stuff has been soaking in sherry for days) and having a friend around for lunch. Thank gos I don’t have to go to work today. I leave the job in two weeks. I don’t know how I am going to get through it. I am actually really angry now but know that being silent at this stage will scare him. He won’t know what I’ve done or who I have told. I will probably lose some weight on this one. I have decided to go on that walking holiday without him.

          • bay of fires will be wonderful – tassie is a spiritual sanctuary. Breathe deeply, sip the dew off the moss, gaze at the sea and love every minute of it!

          • I went to Tassie for school camp last year – 10 days – amazing place, very quiet and peaceful!
            Not really my cup of tea – would much prefer the Hyped up attitude of the Mediterrainean. But have fun and relax!

        • little fish, I know how you are going to get through it… you are going to cope! That is what we do. Feeling angry or any other emotion is fine – let it all out – not at him necessarily but out of your system in a way that doesn’t harm you or others. And be careful now that your behaviour (eg. being silent) is actually about what you need or want and not something that you are doing to/at/for him. The walking holiday is now YOUR walking holiday, not the holiday-without-him. Does that make sense? Bring the focus back to yourself. Be kind to yourself and go as slowly as you need.

      • Matt! I hope you are of the Haute version of Saggability that you would never stoop so low! Uber will be out to spank you if you revert to Lo Sagg. Just warning you now.

        The fact that you get so much now at 15 AND you’ve been Plutonically zapped for most of your former years leads me to believe that you are of the higher being kind of guy. Don’t prove me wrong!

          I know a low saggo and i swear they’re bad – IM JUST HYPER!

          • You’re shouting again Matt.

            And lazy doesn’t come into it – sneaky, shifty, user about covers it. We are all guilty of laziness at times, that’s so forgivable unless it’s pathological.

            What’s the Republic of Pluto post most profound quote ” truthfulness over goodness” – that about covers it and it seems very Sagg to me.

          • im SHOUTING because im not a LOW SAGGo! lol!!!!!!!!!!
            Sneaky yes i know a low saggo then defs! Does Bitchy count??
            truthfulness over goodness”
            very saggo indeed!

  4. This, like many others of MMs posts, is so timely. I was reading the 2009 Astroscape last night. For September /Pisces, it was so spot on for me.
    Last night I found out, from a friend of a friend, who was trying to protect me, that my “loyal partner” of the last 18months had bragged to her that he had been trawling the net for the past 6 months,.( This guy stays in my lovely comfortable house, eats my healthy food and uses my hairdryer!! )a vampire of sorts.In the last few months I have sunconsciously felt shifts but just couldn’t put my finger on it. Word is out and friends (who wants to tell too many about such a terrible thing?) who all trusted him and thought I had found a wonderful guy, are being very supportive. I just feel like all the blood has left my body, the brick in the chest etc. He doesn’t know I know but I feel like I can’t dob in my friend. I have told him he can’t stay with me any more but not said why. He has stopped ringing but he still goes to my gym. I am not going to say a word to him. He won’t know what I am thinking.

    • oh little fish thats fuqing awful, what a pig (bragging??? to one of YOUR friends?!) i hope you are taking care of yourself and relying on the support of others. all i can think of is pluto direct is doing you a favour- illuminating the crap so you can more forward to someone worthy of your love and trust. horrible though, betrayal has a sting and a burning nausea unlike any other pain. but you can and will prevail. be kind to yourself.

      another example as well (sigh) of a ‘low’ unevolved sagg male.

    • Sorry to hear that little fish. Knowing and deliberate betrayal of trust is bloody awful. Detach immediately! It would not hurt (for your benefit not his) to briefly and clearly say what boundaries of yours his behaviour has breached. I don’t mean you defend or explain yourself to him but just deliver a fact in the spirit of open communication, ie. treat others as you wish to be treated – he has been lying and hiding something from you but you call him on it openly and honestly. If you cannot say that right now (or ever) that is OK. Your actions to protect yourself and remove him from a privileged, using position in you life sound strong and correct.

      There has been much commenting about patrolling boundaries here lately – sounds like you are doing well patrolling yours against a transgressor! Good luck. The unevolved Lo-Sagg will get whats coming to him… he’ll run into it most probably 🙂

    • My heart goes out to you little fish. I know that subconscious shifting feeling so well – experienced something similiar except it invlvd bf and partner/hb of 16 years at the time. Four months of that subconscious shifting ick, couldn’t put my finger on it. bf (aries sun/canc moon) finally told me because she thought he would tell me first. Ex-hb a Scorp – felt so scorped (frozen with grief having lost bf and hb) – so know that blood drain, brick in the stomach feeling you poor darling. I have NEVER spoken to ex bf since she told me. I recommend confronting him on your own safe terms – the quicker the better – so you can move on. Be brave little fish. From experience let me say, I am in a Plutonic stew partially because i didn’t deal with stuff 2 years ago. Good luck xx

      PS You’ll be stronger forever now and trust that gut instinct always.

  5. Oh, so that’s what you mean about Saturn Girl boundaries… I’ve noticed lately that I care less and less about those people who tend to manipulate and bother. On the other hand, people I met when my boundaries were at their weakest are still able to insert themselves into my life. I’m thinking of one person in particular who entered my life during a bout of my “I have to be nice to everyone” disease. Since then, I’ve gotten a reputation for kicking people right the hell out when they cause too much trouble, but some people I can’t seem to shake even though my patterns have change… like they are grandfathered in.

  6. Ha! This is SO in my life right now. I am almost finished my saturn return, have a porous pisces rising, and have had many problems in my 20’s with saturn in the 7th shoving demanding ego-centred peeps in my face who often leave me drained but I still stick around to help and assist.

    So, following a crescendo of unbalanced wackery last year in the torrid epicentre of my saturn return, I wished that ‘everyone would just go away’ and voila, they did when I moved across the world to (in hindsight) rebalance.

    At the moment, in my peaceful sanctuary, I am so wary of who I let into my inner world. I feel as though I have had various tests this year.

    This is so fitting with the astro around at the mo too. About two weeks ago realised that a triple scorp was hook, line and sinkering me and realised that it was getting way unhealthy. But instead of just going along with it, I decided to nip it in the bud, but in a healthy way, so that I didn’t have to, down the line, nip it in the bud in a volcanic unhealthy way.

    Boy have I been thinking about emotional vampirism lately, what an interesting post and comment stream.

    I could go on, but I have about 30 planets in libra and don’t want to put you all out. 🙂

    • Love that term Lark – “porous pisces rising” – so apt! I am Fish rising too but have serious Saturn conj Asc in first so he’s like my doorbitch. Oh i am only now appreciating that placement in hindsight. Have struggled immensely with 1st house issues in earlier life (now 45). Remember my Saturn return as the loneliest time of my life (i was partnered and had family and friends and a “life”) but bleak time.

      With all those 8th house planets, i have no doubt you can deal with a triple scorp vampire 😉

  7. I like to work with the Ace of Swords from the Tarot deck if there are vampires about…..( ! )……the crown at the top of the sword suggests that YOU are sovereign of your energy system (Qi) and choices….not someone else.

  8. Why feel you have to ” conform” to all that nonsense ?……as an Aries, I would think you would NOT allow anyone to tow you around by the nose !!!……..I don`t see it as having “chips on your shoulders”….having a healthy self-respect is ,well, healthy !!!

  9. Emotional vampires… god do I need to vanquish at least one of those.
    I’m not friends with her anymore but the damage it’s done to my self-esteem & the emotional charge I feel when I think about the situation shows me that I really need to get over it, properly. Somehow make it not matter anymore.
    The Pluto Direct Mantra I came up with last night is ‘Stop Being a Victim – Life is Too Short’.

    • Like your new mantra Ariel. I have a friend who suffered a terrible tragedy in her life and she said “I refuse to play the victim”. I’ve never forgotten it. We all have that choice.

    • snap Ariel – that’s been a realisation for me too during my Pluto stewing, i was feeling/thinking like a victim at times *shudder* – once i outed it, i repulsed myself that i was going there….on with the Pluto phoenixing.

  10. Walnut is a good bach remedy if you are easily influenced by others – and Heather for the peeps who can’t shut up about themselves.

    It is as much about yourself as the sucker tho I think – learning how to work with boundaries. I don’t know so many unsolicited suckers anymore luckily. I’ve learned how to pick em and repel gently – it is def gut feeling. Family members are prob the only ones left who drain and I usually see them aware that it could go that way but open to the idea I could end up pleasantly surprised if it doesn’t. And sometimes it doesn’t which is like a gift when it happens.

  11. My friends & i have a pact…….we allow each a 5 minute whinge & that’s it.
    (unless a true trauma, then we make a plan, consolidate an ‘I’m HERE for you’,
    & carry out the plan).
    Does keep perspective & balance.
    We meet, laugh & say, ‘we do the 5 minutes now or later’:0.
    After much practise, now i fully understand & can do……………’ LET- IT- GO.’
    Have found out the hard way that the road to hell is paved with good intentions lol, but
    still doesn’t stop me making a fool of myself sometimes.

  12. i have a terrible feeling i am an emotional vampire myself god what a confession despite often being drained myself. i’v had to work on my own boundaries on this ie becoming more aware of being a better friend and learning to do it myself rather than er using kindhearted people .. god what a confession. shameful really. and yet i have met a world class vampire. my experience is that they continuously offered me things and yet they always turned out to be their castoffs …

    • Self exploration is worth exactly that. To understand yourself.
      To KNOW yourself.
      It is a negative word & can create paranoia.
      The only Vampire i would like is Count Dracula Himself, bighting lustfully
      into my neck, yes, and dressed in those 19th century clothes & become
      immortal with him. Very sexy.

      In Chakra talk, it is when ‘hooking’ occurs & the other personages energy centre,
      say solar plexus for example, impinges on yours, bringing issues to the forefront.
      I say solar plexus because that is where our personal power & will reside energetically.
      This will feel disempowering (gutted?) in your centre vis a vis being empowered WITH that person.
      My hand often goes automatically to the centre of my body when in public places as protection.

        • robots, don’t focus on the person in question, instead observe the feelings within yourself. Observe them (ie. your feelings/reactions) without judgement (good or bad) – just observe. Maybe give them a shape/colour etc. Then visualise making space for these feelings ie. don’t engage with them by trying to suppress or fight with or deny etc. that is all a kind of engagement. Visualise making space around them. Using observation in this way is a useful first step in disengagement and freeing yourself from a person or event that you are hooked on. Being a Scorp you would be very good at observation I reckon! Lots of versions around of this idea of acceptance and detachment. Maybe this one might help?

          • postmod – am i seeing things here 😕 I’m seeing a green leafy looking avatar – a change from her red riding hood one. Gaawd, am i that far gone – Heellpp!!!!

          • thanks for the tip nat. I am indeed very good at observation (it’s one of my strengths) but i can now see where i’ve gone wrong – acceptance!
            It’s really hard when it pertains to nasty bullies and egotistical wankers… especially when one works closely with such evil creatures.
            I’ve grown so much since Feb 2008 and this growth and work on myself has resulted in super-sensitivity to energy fields. I cannot tolerate being around phoney and shallow people. I’ll give myself two months… see what happens once saturn goes into Libra. Maybe the extremely low Libran who is the only bane in my life right now will be exposed for what she is and leave.

            Spirit, i know about the cutting of the cord but it doesn’t really work for me. I find physically removing myself from vampires works best but it’s not always possible. I will try surrounding myself with an impenetrable field of white light on Monday when i go back to work and see if that helps.

          • robots, I thought of another visualisation you might like to try. The one above is for when you are dealing with your thoughts and feelings about the person when they are not there (ie ruminating). This one is for when you are actually confronted by the person at work or have to work near them. Imagine that you are sliding an invisible glass across between you. Picture it how ever you like it to be. You maintain eye contact with her if she is speaking to you (don’t ‘shut her out’ angrily as that is engaging with her energy) but know that when you slide this shiny clear glass across, that her vibes, harsh words or whatever bad energy she is emitting is simply bouncing off the glass. It doesn’t make it to you or into you. She is allowed to behave however she chooses – that is her right even if she is not consciously aware of how she is being (she probably isn’t very aware and probably miserable right?). But whatever it is she puts out there, you don’t have to absorb it.

            If you are feeling particularly benevolent, let the glass transform her ugly rays and bounce them back to her more softly in another colour. You get the idea. Play around with the imagery to find something that works for you and that you can deploy simply when caught in the situation.

            Also love your new avatar. Nice photo. Reminds me of a parasol.

          • oh Nat thank you for taking the time to write that. I LOVE it – brilliant !!! I can definitely work with that. And you are spot on – she is not consciously aware of how she is being. She’s actually had a talking to by her boss; there have been complaints about her being “rude, abrupt and unapproachable” her response was “that’s bullshit”. And her solution is to work from home one day of the week. What a coward… talk about not taking responsibility! What’s wrong with just being nice??? Of course she’s miserable! – her ego can’t handle being spoken to like that – the truth. She thought she was beyond reproach.

            I’ll work towards being benevolent but for now, I shall just imagine the glass door. The rays are indeed very ugly. Beauty really does come from within. I guess there is a positive side to all this. It’s taught me how NOT to be/behave because it’s really very unattractive.

            Yeah, my avatar does look like a parasol. Thanks for your kind words 🙂

          • Nat, that is brilliant stuff – do you mind if i use it on my ex-hb who has been causing me endless grief of late? We are in the middle of “negotiations” and during phone conversations I am weeping and feel like saying “just stick the knife in and twist it harder, why don’t you?” . He wants 50/50 custody of the kids – you know week on week off which is ridiculus at their age and so not in their best interest and he’s trying to bribe me financially to get his way.

            BTW i took your (and others incl MM’s) advice re not going hard re legal proceedings (spesh not during Merc Rx). My lawyer must be a reader of MM’s cause she came up with a softly softly approach right after that last suggestion of going in guns blazing. Now we are booked for mediation in October (yaah after the Merc Rx). Must say i felt relieved as i am so not a warrior (nothing in Aries) – just want what’s best for kids, and my financial due.

            I now have to focus so ex’s energy doesn’t invade me and he’s a multiple Scorp (delusional, but still) – so your techniques are brilliant – i am printing them out to focus on – hope you don’ mind! xox

          • No problem robots & FF. I’m glad they might be of some use. I have learned a lot of techniques & visualisations over the years – keep them in a note book so I don’t forget! Also keep a short version of a few things in my wallet so can have a little reminder on the run. Its all about supporting ourselves.

            robots, it must be awful to be around this person and keep doing your work, but the poor thing, really it sounds like she might be a train wreck happening in slo mo? Or an express version perhaps and no one can get through to her or even help her see how she is being? When (if) I can get over the initial annoyance/infuriation etc. of someone like that, I think to myself that what they are putting out there is just a little bit of what is going on inside them 24/7. Must be getting pretty bad inside her at the moment. Then I think of that saying, “there but for the grace of god go I”. She’s on a human path and she is dealing (or NOT dealing!) with something pretty bad, and that could happen to any of us. This helps me to detach from the other person, acknowledge that I don’t really know the reason/s behind their behaviour…. and, most importantly that I must look at and manage my own. That is MY responsibility. Like you say, its a lesson in how you don’t want to be.

          • FF, your issues with the ex and settlement etc. sound pretty upsetting. Glad to hear that you have an opportunity for mediation and that it is after Merc rx! Well done. I have no experience at all with settlements involving children. I’m going out on a limb here so just stick with me for a bit… when I read your post I wondered if their father actually does want to be a person in their lives and contribute something in his own (possibly mixed up) way? Maybe he is not motivated by seeking revenge on you via the kids (eg. access) but is not communicating his real objectives clearly enough about this? Could it be that he or his lawyer are getting so caught up in the combat vibe that they are missing the real human outcome objective? Maybe you and your lawyer can help with that. I’m not articulating this very well, sorry! Just trying to offer some different angles for your consideration, that might in the end, benefit YOUR case.

            Have you asked for some clarity on the objective behind his demands/offer? Seek clarity on what it is that he feels and what he wants for the children in the short term (assuming he can articulate this)? Could it help your outcome to acknowledge his needs and go some way to meeting them in the settlement? I think you are in a very strong position as the children’s primary carer, but it might strengthen your outcome to acknowledge his needs/rights too?

            I would think that a settlement is about defining some workable boundaries and supportive framework for the future, not revenge for the past. Revenge for the past (should you even desire it) is a whole separate process 😉 and best achieved by you being resilient and going forward strongly and independently! That is another challenge…

            SO hard to step back and think more broadly when you are also feeling let down/betrayed by someone but do try to separate the past out of the present if you can. Maybe mind map or draw all the areas, issues and feelings that you have (past & present) on a big sheet of paper or whiteboard or something to help separate them? Use different colours (yes, brown is for sh*tty stuff, but don’t forget to include the nice coloured stuff too!). Just get it all out there, out of your head, and step back and look at which ones you really need to deal with now. Maybe some can just sit for a while?

            I hope you have a good counsellor FF. I would need one a couple of times a week if I were going through that! Must go, got huge drive in front of me today. Happy Pluto Direct everyone – transformation a hoy hoy! x

          • Interesting thoughts there Nat, thanx. Like the whiteboard idea and am familiar with mindmaps so i’ll give it a go.

            I’m not in this for revenge, just want what’s best for kids. I absolutely want their father in their lives, of course it’s crucial for them. ATM ex has kids 4/14 nights and finally after a long time that is working well, kids adjusted etc. However, i still do all the organising, scheduling etc as ex is hopeless at details (eg after more than 2 years separated he still asks me constantly what the kids like to eat!) And he expects me to tell him and update him WTF! I’ve organised all school emails and reports to go to him as well and he still relies on me to update him. He works long hours and I do help him out with kids a lot on those 4 days when he needs it. He also is invlved with son’s rugby team – assistant coach and qualified referee -(season over now) and usually sees kids more often than 4 days a fortnight. But he is deluded in that his ideal is that we both work full time and kids go to after school care in son’s case and library in daughter’s (which is to me not ideal at their age) and then rotate week on week off btw homes. They are both bright, engaged, gorgeous children and it won’t be long before they are more autonomous and then that situation may indeed be a good one. I think it’s essential that they are able to be nurtured before and after school and able to engage in activities and not be shuffled around because their parents are working etc. When they are with him they don’t do homework, assignments, music practice, or speech & drama practice. They go to bed late and are rushed around doing whatever he wants to do. It’s him first always and that’s how it’s always been (i realise in retrospect).

            Get this – he doesn’t have a lawyer – yes he is so narcissistic. And he has dragged this out to a financially breaking point for me (and he enjoys it). Hopefully he will have one by mediation time (someone needs to talk some sense into him). He credits me with nothing, not the fact that I gave up so much to nurture our babies (each breastfeed for 12/13mths), not to mention I did so much better at uni than he did – uni medal. (I did go back to work in research position for 1 year while daughter was aged 1 but 12 mth contract job and I was preggers with son, hb earning heaps so made decision to be a full time mum. And I don’t regret it for a second though at the time must say had inner conflicts about it as work was self-defining for me (6th house Sun).

            Part of me is furious as now kids are easy (9 and 11) before the purported teen years. Where was he when our marriage blew up – he didn’t have the kids at all for the first 8 months – living in the city (Fortitude Valley for peeps who know Bris) acting up no doubt. He saw them once a fortnight on a Sunday (for the day!) Who did all the holding it together for the kids – fuqing not him. Same with baby years – he was never home and anyone with babies and toddlers can tell you how hard that stage can be. I shudder to think of him handling them as teens – so fixed and “do it my way” attitude. For example he thinks it’s fine to drag my 11 y o down the stairs and in to the car against her will. I’m the one who soothes, listens and gets her there (his place) calmly – whether it’s while he’s ranting at the door or 3 hours later. He causes so much stress.

            He is very money focussed and i think the 50/50 thing is more about the settlement split as in i will get less if he has them 50 per cent of the time. When he drops them off you can see the relief – oh now i’m off to gym wherever, sigh, got my freedom back). He rarely calls the kids while I have them yet i ring them every day when he has them.

            And yes i do see a shrink 3 times fortnight! She is brilliant and i thank the heavens i found her!

            Now I’ll stop being a blog hog – gotta get Aqua girl to her AMEB music exam!

            Happy Pluto direct indeed!

          • fluid feline…much love to you. i dont know how you do it…but you are enduring this, and you will thrive…i dont have kids but im the child of a messy divorce, and trust me, the kids know whats going on, and will look back and so appreciate your consistent presence and dependability, no matter how often or not he ends up seeing them. all i ever wanted when my parents were going twenty rounds was security. and it sounds like youre doing your absolute best to provide that for them.

            pluto direct- as mystic says: radiant self reliance. you are emancipating yourself from all the crap hes brought in, and you are going to be the shining example of an evolved and solid soul in these kids lives.

            take good care of yourself. x

          • hahaha… no you’re not going crazy FF. Changed it last night. It’s a close-up of the underside of a lotus leaf with the sun streaming through.

          • Thank you scorpbabe!!! Tis beautiful btw, you are an artiste are you not?. Why is postmod seeing red riding hood – maybe i dont want to know 😯

          • i’m still seeing old avatar too even though i’ve emptied the cache. The gravatar takes a few days sometimes… dunno why. Yes artiste of some kind. 🙂

  13. School- what a biggie. When only one teacher can make all the positive difference in our lives, its tragic that the entire culture of a school can be, & often is, so institutionalised. You are teaching your kin not to accept callous mediocrity- give yourself a big hug for that, aac.

  14. Crikey, the ‘Paranoid’ Vampire from that site you linked too is totally my ex-bestie who *scorped* me big-time.

    • TLE – me too! That is bizarre. All day yesterday I was thinking about them and the good old, bad old days and today I come here and find out what was going on… glad it’s not just me going nuts!

  15. Phew am glad you’re moving on AAC. When it’s unhealthy and almost abusive situation like that best, remove yourself from it asap. You can accept things but you don’t have to like em and put up with it if it esp if it’s not in your heart.

    Good luck!

  16. ACC you have been validated:)
    Some peeps are just scary blow them love, it freaks ’em out.
    Just think in a year, just 12 months everything will be different, you will be stronger.
    Light the lamp or draw the sword, know the difference of when to do one of them.

  17. My experience suggests that the resistance is in not being honest with yourself about how the other person is manipulating/disempowering/exploiting you.
    The draining part is in trying to maintain ones defences without actually dealing with the issues.

    • so true……..I had an alcoholic parent who was a complete emotional vampire on my energy most of my life…..but after I firmly detached from said person ( Saturn –set firm boundaries ), my energy re-balanced.

    • I’m still working this out…but lately I keep coming to this thought , that my sister has over the years taken the lion’s share of a particular type of energy… of which I share a portion of responsibility…although some of it is family patterning also. I’ve been trained, and over a lifetime my parents have made silent agreements of the way to deal with her is to just let her go. Somewhere in the early days it was just agreed to let her have her head, and let her wear herself out….but what it means it that she whirls and sucks energy from anyone that she can….I think on some levels it’s because my parents just didn’t know how to create safe limits…hers or their own…how to guide her to use her own energy in a sustainable way…that’s sort of why she’s been trying to top up from everyone near her.

      I’ve had mentioned to me (from someone outside our family unit) that I shy away from this type of energy because I associate it so strongly with my seemingly always hungry for more sister….and that there is an alternative, that I can self generate…that it does not need to be stolen at all…that it is important for me to appreciate the difference.

      I’m starting to get it…and do appreciate a comment Uber made on another thread about maybe looking at how other people manage around her…I really think maybe it is key, to not worry so much about her actions, and while recognising a certain level of defense is still probably wise..and maybe there is a certain acceptance after 40 years, that she is needy on a level that not many people are… the majority of my focus could be more fruitful if it incorporates fulling my own energy expansion…

      • LL, just curious – does she have a partner? My younger Leo sister use to live vicariously through me until she met her husband. Now she has him and the kids to focus/draw energy from. We get on much better as a result.

        • It amazes me but yes Scorpbot, she has a partner…almost constantly since teen years. She also has about a 3 year turn over point.

          I really liked her husband. He was a sweetheart…also lasted about 3ish years. …but relatively not long after splitting another bloke appeared…

          It all gets a little coy though as for a couple of years he was called her ‘friend’ and then he made this rapid upgrade to being included on xmas cards….I think this one has lasted 4 years…soooo?

          No children…she has said to me that she thinks she couldn’t give them the attention they deserve…

        • I think somehow being adopted may be part of why she is so insecure Scorp Bot. On one hand our parents made deliberate moves to let us know while we were growing up and now still….that we were/are wanted. Which in many ways is lovely. It’s sort of nice that someone tries so hard to reassure someone of their value in their life. On the other hand though it sets up this slightly weird dynamic, where I remember thinking as a child, why are you being so deliberate about this [warning Leo rationalisation ahead] and thinking why wouldn’t you want us?

          I mean as a child the concept of being unwanted just didn’t register. We would also have various Aunts and Uncles telling us how lucky we were to have our parents. Which sort of sets up this, what were we before we had our parents…what, we were unlucky before, we’re only lucky because of you…? Sort of sets up a few personal power issues that I think are probably different than your average* family dynamic (not sure I’ve really met an average family)

          For me I’m mostly comfortable with my own self worth. I have the odd confidence block…yet find them now valuable as a self check in am I fearful: because I can’t do this, as the prep is undone, am I trying to fly by the seat of my pants, is flying by the seat of my pants perhaps a good thing et al? …As long as I don’t paralysis myself with analysis I’m good to go.

          My triple threat taurean sister however on an energetic level feels like a wound….still. She vibes very ungrounded…which as a Taurean is sometimes the saddest thing I can imagine.

          I think my parents tried to shore up, rather than providing her with the tools to do some self work…actually no they did provide her with tools, just their tools and it’s not a great fit….(I think they did the best they could with what they knew at the time)

          I went out and found my own stuff….which is why I think I’m largely ok…(except I have to conciously be compassionate about other people’s neediness/define boundaries where appropriate, because just a whiff makes me instinctively want to run a mile)

          So I think behind every energy thief is loss and sadness, and possibly a great gaping void. Which doesn’t make their theivery acceptable…just maybe, understandable.

          There’s been a lot of good advice at how to not engage, and stop the energy suck along this thread. Again, thanks for sharing guys.

  18. Sad to hear that AAC. Does sound heartless. Grief takes as much time as it takes and if people don’t understand that it’s a real shame, lack of compassion.

    A healer a see regularly told me that when you feel drained it’s because you are resisting that person. You can still protect yourself and be soft/strong. Resistance itself is draining. So acceptance of yourself and others (doesn’t mean you have to like them) is an energy balancer. make sense?

  19. Yep with you Mystic in the sense that Pluto transits in my 20s were totally vampiresque & then after Pluto did her transformation magic on my inner processes the vamps were less of an issue.

  20. This is a big theme in my life and is prescient right now. It feels like a saturn issue for me as well. I can’t Jupiter-short-cut/magic it, I just have to put in the hard yards and work at listening to my intuition and extricating said vampires from my life so I can put that energy/wisdom towards ME. It seems like something to do with age/emotional maturity. Is the saturn return a set thing to do with age?

  21. Hey mystic i have an insight for u. In between readings of this book you morphed from strong/soft to soft/strong. That is the shell casing adjustment you made. A lot of peeps (to use yr colloquial) are hard on the outside and soft on the inside (providing no internal resilience or balance) and then through a process (usually a lot of hard work and pain) transform to soft exterior/strong core interior. When you realise that the bulletproof exterior/gooey interior isn’t working for u and make the transformation then the result is user friendly exterior and strong interior. The ‘gut instinct’ you now work with – is a strength. It’s not ruthless – it just means that your guns are pointed toward the battle/war and not at your own forehead or heart!

    • I really like the idea of that… And wonder if some peeps get it either wrong or unbalanced – hard ext + strong interior, vice versa. Are there any particular parts of the chart that would indicate levels if self-awareness? Or is it defined by the astro-weather du jour?

    • They talk about that in Taoist alchemy–firm on the inside, flexible on the outside, the perfect mix of stability and flexibility.

      Poppyk, I think it’s more to do with how you use your chart and transits.

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Mystic Medusa