Emo Vamps…A Pluto Theme?

Filed in Pluto

Emotional Vampires - Dealing With People Who Drain You Dry

This feels kind of retro to me (then again, Mercury IS Retro) but lately a lot of peeps i talk to are mentioning this book. I thought it was way old & sort of obvious but maybe it’s either (a) a new book and i am just outta touch with self-enrichment lit as I all i currently read in that vein are my Wolves book & the Qi guide.  BUT this Emo Vampire thing  is being raved about. Is it feeling super-relevant because of Pluto stationing Direct and Saturn/Uranus new era stuff??? As people consciously try to sift through various aspects of their lives a la the shitfight between Saturn & Uranus?

Years ago i  used to be a LOT more vulnerable to the variety of person described in this book. These days i am way more ruthless & tend to go on a gut vibe. I think this ability to throw up effective shields et al definitely improves after Saturn Return. It’s those Saturn Girl ‘set and forget’ boundaries again.

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pegasus
pegasus

Brow chakra/3rd eye is symbolic of intuition & insight, imagination & peace of mind.
So yes, wouldn’t disturbances you have been having relate to that AAC?

little fish
little fish

The Bay of Fires Walk. I like walking but also like the hot bath and dinner after the long day. It’s the best holiday. Thank you all for such good advice. I’ve had a lucky escape. xx

Ms Motown
Ms Motown

AAC, everyone copes with grief in a different way. Some will give you a huge hug and drop soup n scones at your door without intruding. That’s the way I was brought up in the Western district of Victoria. So I knock and drop food at your doorstep, cos I have been there. Others seem to find such powerful emotions of loss frightening n thus they keep their distance. It is just that grief can be contagious. Me and my bestie have been cycling through it madly since … well, July 4th really when the eclipse season all started. It’s… Read more »

little fish
little fish

He’s a sagg

matthew-minerva
matthew-minerva

Thats what i thought!

little fish
little fish

Thanks saggigal and nat. and Matt.
am making fruit cakes (stuff has been soaking in sherry for days) and having a friend around for lunch. Thank gos I don’t have to go to work today. I leave the job in two weeks. I don’t know how I am going to get through it. I am actually really angry now but know that being silent at this stage will scare him. He won’t know what I’ve done or who I have told. I will probably lose some weight on this one. I have decided to go on that walking holiday without him.

something fishy
something fishy

what could be a better healing proposition – fruit cakes and the prospect of a walking holiday! (where to, if I can ask?)

little fish
little fish

Bay of Fires in Tasmania. Beautiful scenery. I have just papered all the little cake tins. They will be delicious. x

fluid feline
fluid feline

“Bay of Fires” – suitably Plutonic – maybe I should go there too!

something fishy
something fishy

bay of fires will be wonderful – tassie is a spiritual sanctuary. Breathe deeply, sip the dew off the moss, gaze at the sea and love every minute of it!

matthew-minerva
matthew-minerva

I went to Tassie for school camp last year – 10 days – amazing place, very quiet and peaceful!
Not really my cup of tea – would much prefer the Hyped up attitude of the Mediterrainean. But have fun and relax!

nat
nat

little fish, I know how you are going to get through it… you are going to cope! That is what we do. Feeling angry or any other emotion is fine – let it all out – not at him necessarily but out of your system in a way that doesn’t harm you or others. And be careful now that your behaviour (eg. being silent) is actually about what you need or want and not something that you are doing to/at/for him. The walking holiday is now YOUR walking holiday, not the holiday-without-him. Does that make sense? Bring the focus back… Read more »

fluid feline
fluid feline

Matt! I hope you are of the Haute version of Saggability that you would never stoop so low! Uber will be out to spank you if you revert to Lo Sagg. Just warning you now.

The fact that you get so much now at 15 AND you’ve been Plutonically zapped for most of your former years leads me to believe that you are of the higher being kind of guy. Don’t prove me wrong!

matthew-minerva
matthew-minerva

NO NO IM THE HAUTE SAGGO!
BELIEVE ME! IM NOT LAZY! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I know a low saggo and i swear they’re bad – IM JUST HYPER!
MATT

fluid feline
fluid feline

You’re shouting again Matt.

And lazy doesn’t come into it – sneaky, shifty, user about covers it. We are all guilty of laziness at times, that’s so forgivable unless it’s pathological.

What’s the Republic of Pluto post most profound quote ” truthfulness over goodness” – that about covers it and it seems very Sagg to me.

matthew-minerva
matthew-minerva

im SHOUTING because im not a LOW SAGGo! lol!!!!!!!!!!
Sneaky yes i know a low saggo then defs! Does Bitchy count??
truthfulness over goodness”
very saggo indeed!

fluid feline
fluid feline

You’re a good Sagg MM – I think I’d allow you to date my Aqua-girl (in about 5 years time that is) 🙂

matthew-minerva
matthew-minerva

HA!
LOL! that is too funny FF! Aqua huh – maybe 😉

little fish
little fish

This, like many others of MMs posts, is so timely. I was reading the 2009 Astroscape last night. For September /Pisces, it was so spot on for me. Last night I found out, from a friend of a friend, who was trying to protect me, that my “loyal partner” of the last 18months had bragged to her that he had been trawling the net for the past 6 months,.( This guy stays in my lovely comfortable house, eats my healthy food and uses my hairdryer!! )a vampire of sorts.In the last few months I have sunconsciously felt shifts but just… Read more »

saggigal
saggigal

oh little fish thats fuqing awful, what a pig (bragging??? to one of YOUR friends?!) i hope you are taking care of yourself and relying on the support of others. all i can think of is pluto direct is doing you a favour- illuminating the crap so you can more forward to someone worthy of your love and trust. horrible though, betrayal has a sting and a burning nausea unlike any other pain. but you can and will prevail. be kind to yourself.

another example as well (sigh) of a ‘low’ unevolved sagg male.

nat
nat

Sorry to hear that little fish. Knowing and deliberate betrayal of trust is bloody awful. Detach immediately! It would not hurt (for your benefit not his) to briefly and clearly say what boundaries of yours his behaviour has breached. I don’t mean you defend or explain yourself to him but just deliver a fact in the spirit of open communication, ie. treat others as you wish to be treated – he has been lying and hiding something from you but you call him on it openly and honestly. If you cannot say that right now (or ever) that is OK.… Read more »

fluid feline
fluid feline

My heart goes out to you little fish. I know that subconscious shifting feeling so well – experienced something similiar except it invlvd bf and partner/hb of 16 years at the time. Four months of that subconscious shifting ick, couldn’t put my finger on it. bf (aries sun/canc moon) finally told me because she thought he would tell me first. Ex-hb a Scorp – felt so scorped (frozen with grief having lost bf and hb) – so know that blood drain, brick in the stomach feeling you poor darling. I have NEVER spoken to ex bf since she told me.… Read more »

Mary
Mary

Oh, so that’s what you mean about Saturn Girl boundaries… I’ve noticed lately that I care less and less about those people who tend to manipulate and bother. On the other hand, people I met when my boundaries were at their weakest are still able to insert themselves into my life. I’m thinking of one person in particular who entered my life during a bout of my “I have to be nice to everyone” disease. Since then, I’ve gotten a reputation for kicking people right the hell out when they cause too much trouble, but some people I can’t seem… Read more »

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

yes Mary I can relate to that too. interesting…

Lark
Lark

Ha! This is SO in my life right now. I am almost finished my saturn return, have a porous pisces rising, and have had many problems in my 20’s with saturn in the 7th shoving demanding ego-centred peeps in my face who often leave me drained but I still stick around to help and assist. So, following a crescendo of unbalanced wackery last year in the torrid epicentre of my saturn return, I wished that ‘everyone would just go away’ and voila, they did when I moved across the world to (in hindsight) rebalance. At the moment, in my peaceful… Read more »

fluid feline
fluid feline

Love that term Lark – “porous pisces rising” – so apt! I am Fish rising too but have serious Saturn conj Asc in first so he’s like my doorbitch. Oh i am only now appreciating that placement in hindsight. Have struggled immensely with 1st house issues in earlier life (now 45). Remember my Saturn return as the loneliest time of my life (i was partnered and had family and friends and a “life”) but bleak time.

With all those 8th house planets, i have no doubt you can deal with a triple scorp vampire 😉

Spirit
Spirit

I like to work with the Ace of Swords from the Tarot deck if there are vampires about…..( ! )……the crown at the top of the sword suggests that YOU are sovereign of your energy system (Qi) and choices….not someone else.

Spirit
Spirit

Why feel you have to ” conform” to all that nonsense ?……as an Aries, I would think you would NOT allow anyone to tow you around by the nose !!!……..I don`t see it as having “chips on your shoulders”….having a healthy self-respect is ,well, healthy !!!

Ariel
Ariel

Emotional vampires… god do I need to vanquish at least one of those.
I’m not friends with her anymore but the damage it’s done to my self-esteem & the emotional charge I feel when I think about the situation shows me that I really need to get over it, properly. Somehow make it not matter anymore.
The Pluto Direct Mantra I came up with last night is ‘Stop Being a Victim – Life is Too Short’.

nat
nat

Like your new mantra Ariel. I have a friend who suffered a terrible tragedy in her life and she said “I refuse to play the victim”. I’ve never forgotten it. We all have that choice.

fluid feline
fluid feline

snap Ariel – that’s been a realisation for me too during my Pluto stewing, i was feeling/thinking like a victim at times *shudder* – once i outed it, i repulsed myself that i was going there….on with the Pluto phoenixing.

davidl
davidl

That image keeps saying to me “Campbells Soup” eeeuuwww

xox rockstar libran publicist xox
xox rockstar libran publicist xox

so David perhaps you prefer the original ‘blue’ cover?
personally thought cover above akin to 50’s cigarette pack designs

never heard of Emo Vamps & was temp sidetracked reading excerpts…

http://books.google.com.au/books?id=NEo90LwMbY4C&dq=emotional+vampires&printsec=frontcover&source=bl&ots=7HwjMQnaOU&sig=mxZW4Fwl5c2OPVncdoEdRqINhqg&hl=en&ei=DbKnSoCjMpnW7APau6ySBg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=2#v=onepage&q=&f=false

Anonymous
Anonymous

Just as well you don’t live in King’s Lynn in the UK. The local preservation society is petitioning to have the Campbells’ tower, on the site of the old soup factory, listed, to stop Tesco pulling it down when they redevelop the site. It’s a very flat area, so the tower really is a local landmark for getting your bearings 🙂

whatever
whatever

Walnut is a good bach remedy if you are easily influenced by others – and Heather for the peeps who can’t shut up about themselves. It is as much about yourself as the sucker tho I think – learning how to work with boundaries. I don’t know so many unsolicited suckers anymore luckily. I’ve learned how to pick em and repel gently – it is def gut feeling. Family members are prob the only ones left who drain and I usually see them aware that it could go that way but open to the idea I could end up pleasantly… Read more »

pegasus
pegasus

My friends & i have a pact…….we allow each a 5 minute whinge & that’s it.
(unless a true trauma, then we make a plan, consolidate an ‘I’m HERE for you’,
& carry out the plan).
Does keep perspective & balance.
We meet, laugh & say, ‘we do the 5 minutes now or later’:0.
After much practise, now i fully understand & can do……………’ LET- IT- GO.’
Have found out the hard way that the road to hell is paved with good intentions lol, but
still doesn’t stop me making a fool of myself sometimes.

Anonymous
Anonymous

i have a terrible feeling i am an emotional vampire myself god what a confession despite often being drained myself. i’v had to work on my own boundaries on this ie becoming more aware of being a better friend and learning to do it myself rather than er using kindhearted people .. god what a confession. shameful really. and yet i have met a world class vampire. my experience is that they continuously offered me things and yet they always turned out to be their castoffs …

pegasus
pegasus

Self exploration is worth exactly that. To understand yourself. To KNOW yourself. It is a negative word & can create paranoia. The only Vampire i would like is Count Dracula Himself, bighting lustfully into my neck, yes, and dressed in those 19th century clothes & become immortal with him. Very sexy. In Chakra talk, it is when ‘hooking’ occurs & the other personages energy centre, say solar plexus for example, impinges on yours, bringing issues to the forefront. I say solar plexus because that is where our personal power & will reside energetically. This will feel disempowering (gutted?) in your… Read more »

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

how does one “unhook” someone who’s got the hooks in one’s solar plexus?

Spirit
Spirit

cut the cord,….. then seal it with the Higher Self energy….the other person ( vampire) has no rights to your Divine Qi.

nat
nat

robots, don’t focus on the person in question, instead observe the feelings within yourself. Observe them (ie. your feelings/reactions) without judgement (good or bad) – just observe. Maybe give them a shape/colour etc. Then visualise making space for these feelings ie. don’t engage with them by trying to suppress or fight with or deny etc. that is all a kind of engagement. Visualise making space around them. Using observation in this way is a useful first step in disengagement and freeing yourself from a person or event that you are hooked on. Being a Scorp you would be very good… Read more »

fluid feline
fluid feline

postmod – am i seeing things here 😕 I’m seeing a green leafy looking avatar – a change from her red riding hood one. Gaawd, am i that far gone – Heellpp!!!!

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

thanks for the tip nat. I am indeed very good at observation (it’s one of my strengths) but i can now see where i’ve gone wrong – acceptance! It’s really hard when it pertains to nasty bullies and egotistical wankers… especially when one works closely with such evil creatures. I’ve grown so much since Feb 2008 and this growth and work on myself has resulted in super-sensitivity to energy fields. I cannot tolerate being around phoney and shallow people. I’ll give myself two months… see what happens once saturn goes into Libra. Maybe the extremely low Libran who is the… Read more »

nat
nat

robots, I thought of another visualisation you might like to try. The one above is for when you are dealing with your thoughts and feelings about the person when they are not there (ie ruminating). This one is for when you are actually confronted by the person at work or have to work near them. Imagine that you are sliding an invisible glass across between you. Picture it how ever you like it to be. You maintain eye contact with her if she is speaking to you (don’t ‘shut her out’ angrily as that is engaging with her energy) but… Read more »

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

oh Nat thank you for taking the time to write that. I LOVE it – brilliant !!! I can definitely work with that. And you are spot on – she is not consciously aware of how she is being. She’s actually had a talking to by her boss; there have been complaints about her being “rude, abrupt and unapproachable” her response was “that’s bullshit”. And her solution is to work from home one day of the week. What a coward… talk about not taking responsibility! What’s wrong with just being nice??? Of course she’s miserable! – her ego can’t handle… Read more »

fluid feline
fluid feline

Nat, that is brilliant stuff – do you mind if i use it on my ex-hb who has been causing me endless grief of late? We are in the middle of “negotiations” and during phone conversations I am weeping and feel like saying “just stick the knife in and twist it harder, why don’t you?” . He wants 50/50 custody of the kids – you know week on week off which is ridiculus at their age and so not in their best interest and he’s trying to bribe me financially to get his way. BTW i took your (and others… Read more »

nat
nat

No problem robots & FF. I’m glad they might be of some use. I have learned a lot of techniques & visualisations over the years – keep them in a note book so I don’t forget! Also keep a short version of a few things in my wallet so can have a little reminder on the run. Its all about supporting ourselves. robots, it must be awful to be around this person and keep doing your work, but the poor thing, really it sounds like she might be a train wreck happening in slo mo? Or an express version perhaps… Read more »

nat
nat

FF, your issues with the ex and settlement etc. sound pretty upsetting. Glad to hear that you have an opportunity for mediation and that it is after Merc rx! Well done. I have no experience at all with settlements involving children. I’m going out on a limb here so just stick with me for a bit… when I read your post I wondered if their father actually does want to be a person in their lives and contribute something in his own (possibly mixed up) way? Maybe he is not motivated by seeking revenge on you via the kids (eg.… Read more »

fluid feline
fluid feline

Interesting thoughts there Nat, thanx. Like the whiteboard idea and am familiar with mindmaps so i’ll give it a go. I’m not in this for revenge, just want what’s best for kids. I absolutely want their father in their lives, of course it’s crucial for them. ATM ex has kids 4/14 nights and finally after a long time that is working well, kids adjusted etc. However, i still do all the organising, scheduling etc as ex is hopeless at details (eg after more than 2 years separated he still asks me constantly what the kids like to eat!) And he… Read more »

saggigal
saggigal

fluid feline…much love to you. i dont know how you do it…but you are enduring this, and you will thrive…i dont have kids but im the child of a messy divorce, and trust me, the kids know whats going on, and will look back and so appreciate your consistent presence and dependability, no matter how often or not he ends up seeing them. all i ever wanted when my parents were going twenty rounds was security. and it sounds like youre doing your absolute best to provide that for them. pluto direct- as mystic says: radiant self reliance. you are… Read more »

fluid feline
fluid feline

Thanx saggigal – interesting to hear a “child’s” perspective. Nice to see you back here too. xx

fluid feline
fluid feline

Scorpilish – love the new avatar – vibing SPRING – is it plant or maybe some kind of man made artwork????

postmodscorp
postmodscorp

Its a girl in a red cloak isn’t it? I love it too…

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

hahaha… no you’re not going crazy FF. Changed it last night. It’s a close-up of the underside of a lotus leaf with the sun streaming through.

fluid feline
fluid feline

Thank you scorpbabe!!! Tis beautiful btw, you are an artiste are you not?. Why is postmod seeing red riding hood – maybe i dont want to know 😯

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

i’m still seeing old avatar too even though i’ve emptied the cache. The gravatar takes a few days sometimes… dunno why. Yes artiste of some kind. 🙂

starstrokes
starstrokes

School- what a biggie. When only one teacher can make all the positive difference in our lives, its tragic that the entire culture of a school can be, & often is, so institutionalised. You are teaching your kin not to accept callous mediocrity- give yourself a big hug for that, aac.

Taurean love expert
Taurean love expert

Crikey, the ‘Paranoid’ Vampire from that site you linked too is totally my ex-bestie who *scorped* me big-time.

crabapple
crabapple

TLE – me too! That is bizarre. All day yesterday I was thinking about them and the good old, bad old days and today I come here and find out what was going on… glad it’s not just me going nuts!

aquaCAT
aquaCAT

Phew am glad you’re moving on AAC. When it’s unhealthy and almost abusive situation like that best, remove yourself from it asap. You can accept things but you don’t have to like em and put up with it if it esp if it’s not in your heart.

Good luck!

pegasus
pegasus

ACC you have been validated:)
Some peeps are just scary blow them love, it freaks ’em out.
Just think in a year, just 12 months everything will be different, you will be stronger.
Light the lamp or draw the sword, know the difference of when to do one of them.
Blessings.

starstrokes
starstrokes

My experience suggests that the resistance is in not being honest with yourself about how the other person is manipulating/disempowering/exploiting you.
The draining part is in trying to maintain ones defences without actually dealing with the issues.

Spirit
Spirit

so true……..I had an alcoholic parent who was a complete emotional vampire on my energy most of my life…..but after I firmly detached from said person ( Saturn –set firm boundaries ), my energy re-balanced.

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

I’m still working this out…but lately I keep coming to this thought , that my sister has over the years taken the lion’s share of a particular type of energy… of which I share a portion of responsibility…although some of it is family patterning also. I’ve been trained, and over a lifetime my parents have made silent agreements of the way to deal with her is to just let her go. Somewhere in the early days it was just agreed to let her have her head, and let her wear herself out….but what it means it that she whirls and… Read more »

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

LL, just curious – does she have a partner? My younger Leo sister use to live vicariously through me until she met her husband. Now she has him and the kids to focus/draw energy from. We get on much better as a result.

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

It amazes me but yes Scorpbot, she has a partner…almost constantly since teen years. She also has about a 3 year turn over point.

I really liked her husband. He was a sweetheart…also lasted about 3ish years. …but relatively not long after splitting another bloke appeared…

It all gets a little coy though as for a couple of years he was called her ‘friend’ and then he made this rapid upgrade to being included on xmas cards….I think this one has lasted 4 years…soooo?

No children…she has said to me that she thinks she couldn’t give them the attention they deserve…

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

I think somehow being adopted may be part of why she is so insecure Scorp Bot. On one hand our parents made deliberate moves to let us know while we were growing up and now still….that we were/are wanted. Which in many ways is lovely. It’s sort of nice that someone tries so hard to reassure someone of their value in their life. On the other hand though it sets up this slightly weird dynamic, where I remember thinking as a child, why are you being so deliberate about this [warning Leo rationalisation ahead] and thinking why wouldn’t you want… Read more »

aquaCAT
aquaCAT

Sad to hear that AAC. Does sound heartless. Grief takes as much time as it takes and if people don’t understand that it’s a real shame, lack of compassion.

A healer a see regularly told me that when you feel drained it’s because you are resisting that person. You can still protect yourself and be soft/strong. Resistance itself is draining. So acceptance of yourself and others (doesn’t mean you have to like them) is an energy balancer. make sense?

starstrokes
starstrokes

Yep with you Mystic in the sense that Pluto transits in my 20s were totally vampiresque & then after Pluto did her transformation magic on my inner processes the vamps were less of an issue.

Scorpinthesky
Scorpinthesky

This is a big theme in my life and is prescient right now. It feels like a saturn issue for me as well. I can’t Jupiter-short-cut/magic it, I just have to put in the hard yards and work at listening to my intuition and extricating said vampires from my life so I can put that energy/wisdom towards ME. It seems like something to do with age/emotional maturity. Is the saturn return a set thing to do with age?

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

i believe Saturn rtn occurs between the age of 28-30 with various before-and after-effects…

Scorpinthesky
Scorpinthesky

Thanks so much UP. I’m 31 so that fits.

JenGem
JenGem

Hey mystic i have an insight for u. In between readings of this book you morphed from strong/soft to soft/strong. That is the shell casing adjustment you made. A lot of peeps (to use yr colloquial) are hard on the outside and soft on the inside (providing no internal resilience or balance) and then through a process (usually a lot of hard work and pain) transform to soft exterior/strong core interior. When you realise that the bulletproof exterior/gooey interior isn’t working for u and make the transformation then the result is user friendly exterior and strong interior. The ‘gut instinct’… Read more »

Poppykettle
Poppykettle

I really like the idea of that… And wonder if some peeps get it either wrong or unbalanced – hard ext + strong interior, vice versa. Are there any particular parts of the chart that would indicate levels if self-awareness? Or is it defined by the astro-weather du jour?

Über Virgo
Über Virgo

They talk about that in Taoist alchemy–firm on the inside, flexible on the outside, the perfect mix of stability and flexibility.

Poppyk, I think it’s more to do with how you use your chart and transits.

virgo cat
virgo cat

This is great!
Thank you for articulating it.

Mystic Medusa
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