The Astrology Of Frenemies

Modern Art Frenemies

By frenemies, I don’t mean that teen-girl kind of friendship where you have a mate but you secretly hate one another and conspire to give her bad hair advice. I mean when a once close-friend becomes a kind of casual enemy or you just simply break up but it’s never addressed. In actual love relationships, it has to be thrashed out. And there’s always sex & maybe children or shared $$$ to ensure some sort of dialogue. But with friends, the calls just get further & further apart and the must-do-lunches more poignantly ludicrous.

Apart from the obvious divisive factors – one person doing smug married shite and the other crazy-bats single nympho shite –  my theory is that you get waves of friends of one particular sign or astro-signature at certain phases in your life. I had a whole lot of Virgo friends who went during my (still ongoing) Uranus-Venus transit & now I have Scorpios. Or they’ve got Scorp Rising. I only just realised: My Life In The Bush of Scorpions.

 

So, do you agree with the phases of friends & how do you know when a friendship is kaput? Which sign makes the worst ex-friend? ie’ Bitchiest, most judgemental and, weirdly, still sorta stuck in whatever was going on back in the day?

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age of aquariusscorpalicious robotLeonine Librariandavidlpostmodscorp Recent comment authors
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age of aquarius
age of aquarius

I’m an Aquarius Sun, Pisces Moon, Cancer rising. My first ‘best friend’ in kindergarten was a Pisces, but there was never a wave of Pisces peeps, that I know of…….I did have one long-term Pisces boyfriend during my 20’s. Here are my waves of friends: First it was Leos, LOTS of Leos, including two Leo boyfriends. During this time there was a sub-wave of Virgos, and Virgos have sub-waved throughout my life, perhaps ’cause my mother is a Virgo..? There has been an enduring wave of Scorpios, including one Scorp boyfriend when I was in my early 30’s. I knew… Read more »

Wishywashy
Wishywashy

I went through a huge Virgo phase in my childhood, and then a huge Cancer phase in my teenhood, and currently all of my closest friends seem to be Aries… huh. I truly love the Aries friends, though. They always tell me when I’m being ridiculous and they’re pretty much there with you, most of the time, as long as you’re reasonably interesting and there’s something fun to do. Lessee. My bestie bestie bestie from about four onwards is a Virgo sun, Sag moon, which makes things RIDICULOUSLY interesting since I am Pisces sun, Gem moon, Kataka rising. We’re just… Read more »

davidl
davidl

no sign can be as faithful a friend as an aries…as lovers , thats different, but as friends, unless you’ve done something pretty terrible your in the club.

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

arians are pretty good value in my book. they make it easy for you: don’t be a complete dickhead and we’ll all get along just fine. well, that’s how it seems to me mostly!

Triple Cancer Chick
Triple Cancer Chick

Hmmm have been pondering this for a while.. the only person I can think of is a Sag, I think she had a cancerian moon. We hated eachother for 11 years during this time shared best friends and lived together for a year and a half (big share house, that’s where I met her) and loved the same men. Then we became close for four years and then for no reason at all she started snubbing me again. I have to still see her occassionally but I don’t give her time, energy or attention. I dont’ talk about her with… Read more »

Pisces in CQ
Pisces in CQ

Absolutely Mystic! Especially with lovers. I did an experimental examination of a group of friends when I was younger (and had a fantastic social life) and of the thirty odd, we were all pisces, leos, sagitarrians and capricorns. The odd other sign here or there but I found the results amazing.

Ever met someone who was born the same day as you? Amazing cooncidences in personality there – favourite vices, similar virtues and totally understanding each other’s actions and reactions to things happening around us.

Lexicon_Limbo
Lexicon_Limbo

I’ve come to the same realisation Constance – I now give my all to my family who deserve it more than my friends. My problem was always giving too much & being there & in this last friendship I had, it was out of control & there were no boundaries etc Friends come & go but my family are always there for me

little fish
little fish

I am privileged to still have my oldest best friend who has always remembered my birthday since we met when we were ten. We have had very different lives and she lives in the country. We are both Pisces, born 2 wks apart. Throughout our lives she has written letters, cards and met up with me as I was passing through. In the hard times and tragedies (which started earlier for her) we have always supported each other. I think the answer is being true to yourself, and, by being that, one can’t help but be true to all. I… Read more »

seabird
seabird

I don’t make friends easily, and the ones I have, i keep. i did go through a rash of Piscean women a while back, who all seemed to think that i really had it together and that by being near me, they might alos be together. Alas, when it became clear that I am perhaps more bats than most of the population and that I merely possess extraordinarily good acting skills to cover up my relentless inefficiency, they all swam away. Closest friend, for years and years without ever a fight – another Gem (and she really is a gem!)

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

I’ve noticed this about myself, that as I grow my friendships undergo this enormous influx, and outgoing…

I know with my Aries frenemy it’s because I finally stopped being quite so understanding of the chaos that surrounds her. I’m much more honest/aware with boundaries now, as I was previously oblivious of what I really wanted because I was being so flipping understanding just accepting that people all act differently and this is half of the fun…till it started spreading into my space on a constant noise level.

aquarius moon
aquarius moon

taurus are normally the judgmental types in my life, beloved friends who, at some point, decide Im not perfect enough — or have done stgh unforgvabl which Im nivere sure what is — and decide to “have a good life” me. But alas, as times goes by, even the poor may things get to learn a bit about flexibilty, reality x ideal and the importance of peace, love and understanding. Most of them have come back. Which is good, because I love Taurus.

scorpion_tongue
scorpion_tongue

I had a Taurus childhood friend who was stubborn, funny but insisted her friends fight over her. The other friend was a Cap. We just couldn’t all hang out? no. She liked to keep friends separated. It was unfortunately at times stressful. Had another close Taurus friend who did almost the exact same thing. But, he was a social climber and would brag about which friend was the most popular or famous at the time. That got old also. So no close Taurus friends for me right now. Again I don’t think all Taurus are like that just the two… Read more »

Tiffany Yelitza
Tiffany Yelitza

My 2 friends in secondary school were Taurus and Scorp. Both mean and self involved etc. Post that and now in my 20’s my close friend is Taurus but I feel the friendship withering sometimes as she has newer friends (one who is a capricorn, whom I feel like I’m “competing” with now) now and a really great relationship as well. So I don’t know are Taurus, fair weathered friends? Me – a leo, virgo rise, moon aqua.

Ariel
Ariel

Ditto to aquaCAT & sweetpea, I’ve been thinking about this too!! In the last 24 hours. I seem to have a habit of attracting Cancer gfs, one of whom was a toxic crazy bitch who tortured me & poisoned my other friends’ minds against me. And yet I’d still forgive her, until one day enough was enough & I deleted her on facebook. So yes maybe that is a pass-agg vibe (I have MARS in Cancer & Eros, together in the 12th house. Whiny times.) She was TOTALLY bitchy judgemental & thought she could treat me like shit as soon… Read more »

Jomad
Jomad

Miss Havisham, being an almost even mix of Scorpio and Libra, I feel I’m able to comment on your Scorpio puzzlement. I have been know to disappear from friends’ lives but that’s what it is: my disappearance not your expulsion from my circle of friends. Sometimes, it’s because our lives have diverged so much that nothing will approximate them again, or because the friendship was too heavy ie to emotionally draining (we soak up stuff like sponges), or I was being used as a therapist too much. So much easier to disappear than to face the painful process of seperation.… Read more »

tati
tati

I should have read this before I posted. ^ All agreed.

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

Miss Havisham, i had a falling out with a Gem friend and i actually did give notice that i wanted time out. I cherished our friendship but was exhausted with her lifestyle – the constant partying etc. I never planned on cutting her off and explained very kindly (several times i might add) that coffee on weekends was okay but pub crawls/dance parties were out. But my message failed to sink in and the invites and pleading to go out did not stop, so i was forced to be brutal in an email. Never heard from her again. A year… Read more »

Leogroover
Leogroover

Love this MM ” one person doing smug married shite and the other crazy-bats single nympho shite “- This is what I’m up for this weekend with reunion with the smug ones x 4 and me crazy bats no more 3M’s for me Leo gal. How to handle this without getting smug with ” I’ve got more freedom than you showdown”. Gonna have to pull out the Libra in me to keep calm. Bitchiest gf? Scop and Gem although I have been frozen out by 2 sagg gf’s who are about to enter my orbit again soon. Lotsa fun coming… Read more »

double gem
double gem

i went through a phase where i was surrounded by picean women and it was like falling into a vat of blamange. syrupy and suffocating. they project all the very best of intentions but they couldn’t tell the truth if their lives depended on it….not the emotional truth. they definately swim both ways….in EVERYTHING it’s a two way bet . When it comes to clever trickery they left this gemini in the starting block.

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

I read a good quote the other day that might help. I can’t remember who said it – Vivien Leigh? along the lines of ..It’s not about lying. It’s about telling people the things that you want to be true. And the emotional truth? they don’t know themselves half the time. It’s like quantum physics – the electron is wherever the viewer thinks it is at the time (recent theories state that there might be only one electron in the entire universe doing its thing everywhere at once, I LIKE that theory!). Thus are many Piscean emotions: they are wherever… Read more »

double gem
double gem

For me it gets down to taking the risk to vocalise what you are thinking and not striving to create an effect. For this gem vunerability will always trump manipulation.

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

yes doublegem i agree, manipulation is plain ole annoying especially when you realise you are the one who has been manipulated. If someone calls themselves a friend and does that , they are not a friend at all! I think it is better to show vulnerability, too, and what I wanted to get across was that sometimes it is just hard to really iedntify the feeling or thought you are trying to express clearly. I have 2 friends who do it perfectly for me – I spend minutes trying to vocalise a feeling or whatever and they just nail it… Read more »

Ptah
Ptah

So I came to his and there was 23 posts. I have been stuck in a taurus/scorpio love triangle for two years. Neither are sane and both are loveable. I my self a leo keep running into leo/cancers or taurus as lovers and leos and scorpios as friends at friends that rise and fall throughout respective halves of the year. This is year three of this cycle and it has me against the wall at this point.

Lark
Lark

aquaCAT – yes I have had the same thought! I am thinking about something and then Mystic does a post….can’t quite wrap my rational brain around it…

I have an 8th house stellium in libra and have a lot of difficulties with scorpios or Plutonian peeps…mmm.

My venus, pluto, sun is there…so I draw them towards me? Anyway, I should have an unofficial certificate in mental health care volunteership.

Aquarpio
Aquarpio

And here I thought it was just me and that most others friended for life -or nearly. When I was young I had a lot of Libra’s around -I only know this really now because they all recently found me on facebook. The next few batches -i can’t remember their birthdays (oops!), but I’ve also had some mixed bags. After that a lot of Taurus’ and that seemed to keep going (plus one Capricorn). I think the Capricorn was the worst ex-friend. We broke up twice, the first time was a slow fade out and then we started talking again… Read more »

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

I’ve had quite a few significant Aries friendships through my life. Currently none that I would say I’m particularly close to at the moment though. I’d still say of the majority that we’re friendly it’s just that sometimes whatever drew us together frequently does not command the same attendance level. Oh there is one notable exception, and I’d say we’re at frenemy status… with my Aries neighbour that I’ve shared lots of good times and then finally after months of her small dogs barking just had had enough. We’re at polite nod mode now in public. I’ve got a fair… Read more »

scorpion_tongue
scorpion_tongue

Sweetpea- I had a few pass-aggro friends that also did forward lots of emails and were breathing down my neck about social events. I felt overwhelmed. Those friendships dissolved because of it. I also do better by having meaningful friendships and the ability to give each other space also. I can’t remember the sign of one of the female friends but one was a Sag also, another a late Virgo/Libra cusp. Had a few extremely bossy/pushy Virgo friends on the cusp of Leo. Is Leo a bossy sign or just heighten with the Virgo energy I wonder? This have me… Read more »

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

Leo can be a bossy sign…depends on the Leo. I’ve found bossy people in just about every sign at some stage or other. I would say that bossy Leos really are much more dramatically bossy than almost any other sign. It’s all a bit force of nature …lots of sound, fury and absolute droit de signeurish.I think a lot of Leos honestly don’t understand ‘space’, if they like you they really want to be around you…a lot, till they don’t. At best with a bossy Leo you can hope for a benevolent ruler. Based on the behaviour of Virgos in… Read more »

scorpion_tongue
scorpion_tongue

ok- this makes sense. the combine of intense dramatic Leo-ness with a bit of hypercritical Virgo-ness=overbearing bossiness. 😉
i have Virgo sun and Leo MC- lol1 So, I have to watch out for tose tendencies in myself also.
thx1

scorpion_tongue
scorpion_tongue

oh boy- so many typos! *those*
sorry

scorpion_tongue
scorpion_tongue

For me it was Gemini’s that were my friends when convenient and would turn on me on a dime. Very effective at pretending to be my friend.
But, not lately so maybe it was just a few bad Geminis?

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Thats probably it Scorpy T..At least one hopes so.

And I do take into account that my friend might be feeling rejected. So, we’ll see how this comes out…

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Twas just talking to Mum today (“Mom” here in U.S). Was telling her how my bestie from grade school seems to cut off the emails when I seemingly don’t “perform to her liking”. She’s a Sagg but I don’t think it’s her Sagg Sun sign. Think I need to check her Moon. What I’ve gotten from her (and I had not requested to begin with), are the forwarded jokes and such with a gazillion other addresses attached of peeps I’ve never heard of. Most are cute or funny but I really don’t spend a lot of time opening them. One… Read more »

funickity
funickity

I agree sweetpea, fwds without attached personal messages or punctuated with the odd proper email are making a statement if you ask me. At least she aknowledged the need for space, I think its fine to shed rather than cling on via cheesy fwds! I noticed a big turnover in frequently contacted pals after my uranus opposition, stands to reason as priorities/interests change or develop. Most of my old friends are still hovering around on the periphery somewhere and all seem to know each other. That’s pretty cool tho, we catch up, celebrate our differences, keep up with the ever… Read more »

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

plagued by how to manage a scorpio ex-friend (acts like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth but is a thieving pass-agg psycho hose beast, only a few people on the planet realise this) but i can’t work out how to delete her. Atm am keeping friendship in holding pattern. I wouldn’t trust her alone in my room near my wardrobe. etc. would love to understand the astro interactions there…

scorpion_tongue
scorpion_tongue

Nothing scarier than a pass-aggro Scorpio or Scorp Rising ex or ex-friend- been there…
Two times…and haven’t figured out how to get rid of them.
They like to stalk so if you act like prey they continue to stalk.
Best advice I know is to live your life happily.
If they pick up that they bother you they won’t stop. Maybe others have better advice for you.
If so, please pass it on to me. 🙂

Stress Princess
Stress Princess

Wow, I absolutely agree, Mystic. Phases of friends. I used to utterly believe in friendship for life, soul mates, best friend/sister/alternative family, etc. And yet I have lost all my best best galpals. It’s like the intense loyalty and comradery just ran out of steam – either that or the concept of best girlfriend is just a very very rigid construct that doesn’t take change well. I’m a Cap sun, Cancer moon – my besty from ages 6-24 was a Cancer (unsure of rising) but a very extroverted type – so much so, she would get the praise for all… Read more »

plutonicfemme
plutonicfemme

oh come on. The Judith Lucy story is to die for. You should STILL be buying this friend dinner for that act.

Stress Princess
Stress Princess

No No Nooo! P-femme, it was terrible!! Judith started saying “my god, it’s Melrose Place right here in row C.” My “friend” just turned into a rabid Judith groupie. Then she came back to her seat after her moment in the (my would-be) spotlight and gloated – GLOATED – about how fabulous it was and how we simply MUST meet Judith after the show. I just kept telling myself over and over: “The auditorium is dark. No one knows it’s me…”

plutonicfemme
plutonicfemme

OMG, it GETS BETTER AND BETTER.

we have to appreciate friends for who they are, psychosis and all. I prefer the crazy narcissists to the boring ones. Seriously, you could be dining out on that story for ever. isn’t it joyous that she (i presume) had no idea that this behaviour could be construed as, say, a little embarrassing?

Lexicon Limbo
Lexicon Limbo

I used to believe in the same thing Stress Princess ie soulmates, best friend/sisters etc My best friend from high school was a fellow Taurean, born 1 week apart, & for over a decade I dealt with the break ups, me having to ‘woo’ her back to let her know how much she meant to me etc I realised that at 1 stage that she thought that by being like me, she would have what I had. I was her only friend & I had many friends. We would go out dressed the same, she would literally say things that… Read more »

Nico
Nico

My go-to folk atm are all LEOS. I am a pisces sun, taurus ascendant and sag moon. Unexplicably drawn to Virgos who treat me like shite – curiously enough, the last one was actually called leo.

aquaCAT
aquaCAT

Oh and succession of Aries men last year appeared out of nowhere. One of whom was and still is a good mate. The other two were lovers, now nowhere to be seen.

aquaCAT
aquaCAT

Same here STbyL with the Leo factor, it was Leo land everywhere in my 20s but now in my 30s am a bit more balanced. Love the Leo’s dearly but don’t smother them in attention anymore!

aquaCAT
aquaCAT

Have been thinking about this off and on sometimes. Does anyone else have that happen, when you think of a certain topic and then Mystic does a post on it?? Just learning to read my chart proper – like and see that there’s no planets in Cancer but i do have 8th house there. But my three close girlfriends in my adult life have been Kataka. However all three are so different that we don’t all spend time together, they are not friends with each other, its just me and one of them at a time. One of the girls… Read more »

Savannah
Savannah

Yes! I do often think of a certain topic and then voila MM has done it. I wasn’t game to ask anyone else for fear of being labelled an Aqua Bats mobeel. I dunno but I’ve got a Pisces g/f that’s giving the the sh*ts a lot lately. Her level of pedantry and bitchiness towards others is amazing, I can imagine what she’s like behind my back. Since working with and along side men I’ve found that I can understand why men are frustrated by females. AND strangely find myself low on tolerance for them as well at times. I… Read more »

plutonicfemme
plutonicfemme

I went thru a mass stage of leos. Throughout my 20s there were leos as far as the eye can see (thru the manes). My fahter was Uber leo, I wonder if i was reconciling his energy, seeking his Love. This, i think, coincided pretty well with pluto in Sag for me. Not sure really how/why, but the timing just adds up. Now i have a full range of friends, actually, and a few of the Leos are still out there but not with the same primacy…. not at all. I’ve never noticed a friendhsip end. Isn’t that shocking? I… Read more »

Ram Tormented by Librans
Ram Tormented by Librans

I totally agree, Ms Mystic! I have had waves of Capricorn girlfriends (what a quaint term these days) who invariably wanted to suck the life out of me as they saw me as some sort of moral compass. Invariably, they were merely seeking approval of their amoral behaviour and ended up leaving their partners, cheating me in business and then being amazed that I was not keen to keep up the pretence of a relationship. I know as an Aries that Pisces people are not meant to be my thing, however, my closest girlfried is a Pisces and our friendship… Read more »