Sun Sign Survey: How Do You Cope With Jealousy?

Vintage Movie Three People and a Cat

Do you inwardly seethe & scheme vile revenge even as you project glacial cool???  Emote re your feelings as if in an encounter group? Throw vases? Guilt the person??? Cry in the bathroom at parties?  Text your therapist?  Seduce someone? Or do you believe in the pre-emptive revenge fuq?

Air Signs tend to immediately launch a retaliatory attack with a technicolor display of vibrant flirting & wit.

Fire Signs make scenes or stalk out the second they sense the attention deficit.

Water signs seethe & do the “nothing is wrong” trip but when their revenge comes, it is poignant and possibly out of all proportion to the initial offence.

Unless there is actual evidence of any of what pornography commissioners call the EEE rule (Three Es – Erection, Entry, Ejaculation) the Earth Signs tend to ignore flirting etc as they are so stupendously secure, worldly and perhaps not so stricken with vivid imagination as some.

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chronicgir1
chronicgir1

My open relationship just recently ended, and it was one of the most free and fun loverships I’ve ever had. It was so wonderful to be able to talk about other loves/lovers, and not feel compelled to be everything to one person. We even lived in the same space, and would wish each other a good time when going out. Safety and honesty were always practiced. Unfortunately, there were other issues that we didn’t see a way to resolve. Earth here/ air there. Good times, though, even if I felt the physical passion a bit lacking, as she was very… Read more »

Jennifer
Jennifer

This sums me up (Taurus Sun). Unless actual fucking/cheating is going on, I really don’t care and feel secure about it.

ariel
ariel

Don’t mind flirting either way, DO mind other people moving in on what I perceive to be my territory. Gemini sun. Mars in Cancer means there’s always tears, jealousy, but I do bring it up if it’s upsetting me. Leo rising will take over if I’m really jealous. I’ve actually been known to go & hide in the woods & wait for everyone to freak out & come look for me, what a pass-agg Leo rising thing to do. However I know that my jealousy is unreasonable so I’d rather not say anything and watch and make everyone feel that… Read more »

Savannah
Savannah

Depends where it is & how bad it is. Outright discovery right before my very peepers say at home will be a royal throwing of objects fest involving things that break or ricochet . In public it’s typical air sign, flirt & have a better time than he (with the odd “wait till we get home” look) whilst thinking of brilliant way to give him a lesson in a manner he’d never forget.

seabird
seabird

Hey Uber, that is good advice. I work with one of these women and I did exactly that this morning – because we have to collaborate on something for our respective departments, I just walked in and told her that I expected her to be professional when we were at work – no emotion, no explanation, no blame. Took the wind right out of her, and she had no choice but to comply, because the opposite was to make herself look stupid and childish in front of mutual colleagues. I’ve gotta remember these lessons coming on thick and fast. such… Read more »

Über Virgo
Über Virgo

You beautie!

Do you know of any current transits that might reflect these lessons. Saturn Venus? I bet it’s playing somewhere in your chart.

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

UV…maybe mercury in cap? matter-of-fact communication.?

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

oh right i get it. merc-saturn then p’raps. in house of comms…(2nd)

Über Virgo
Über Virgo

Hey UP, I was thinking Saturn Venus as I was once warned that transitting Saturn over my Venus could manifest as a critical woman. My mother got very narky for the first pass, but for the final pass it manifested pleasantly as meeting some supportive, bolshie women and getting some solid help with a Venusian project of mine.

Could be a merc thing too or 3rd house. The fun is making the astro connection.

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

ok, cool. hmm i’ve got saturn trine venus so maybe that’s a constructive aspect…(no idea). what I took from seabird’s situation was the v calm, rational confrontation of the other , communicating with minimal emotion and stating the bare facts…

taurean alchemist
taurean alchemist

Is it too late to join this discussion 🙂 ? (have just finished my first module of training and I’m in need of something light!) While I’m an Earth sign I’m not immune to jealousy – what Taurean isn’t just ever so slightly possessive hey? There was a time my Venus in Aries would have had me flouncing off, exploding in righteous indignation (I would NEVER cheat!) etc, the usual childish histrionics… not to mention my Libra Moon having a say (er, this is the side of me that is TEMPTED to cheat). Any hoo, I’ve learned a lot about… Read more »

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Wondered where you were TA! Good on you for the new courses girl…Congrats.. My problem…circa 1999, was someone coming and going from my life as it seemed “he pleased”. Obviously, as I allowed as I was hoping things would work out and we could get on with a healthy relationship. I’m all for backing someone up to do what makes them happy but not at the expense of humiliating me or disrespecting me…Expecting me to be there for them but little in return. Heidi and Seal are married. Obviously there is a recognized committment there. In my case, I had… Read more »

taurean alchemist
taurean alchemist

thanks Sweetpea, you are a very Sweet pea indeed 🙂 I can feel you hon, its indeed a dichotomy – to love unconditionally and yet hold your own ground takes practice. There is a difference between saying ‘do whatever you like, what ever makes you happy’ and ‘do whatever you like to ME’. Protecting oneself is crucial! Its a case of ‘I love you, hope you do what makes you happy, even if that includes other women – but I am a monogamous, faithful person so I’m going my own way now’. Yes indeedy, CUB may try to take advantage… Read more »

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Yes, I agree.

Thanks darling..Your a love…

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

And here with that Mars in Sagg of yours opp. my Mars in Gem thought you might chew my ass out!!

Ha,ha…New better somehow and pushed “submit”

Oh geesh, had a few cries this weekend..and this was one…Very healing..

Blessings…

taurean alchemist
taurean alchemist

love to you Sweetpea xx

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

“New” better somehow…”

freak a zoid.. Liken that… 🙂

The sun is out again!!!!

That’s what I love about the fire signs…

HOT, HOT, HOT

But Showers come and cleanse

and then the Sun comes out and flowers raise their little faces towards that nourishment…

So beautiful…

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Am I soundin’ like Matty M?

🙂

fluid feline
fluid feline

Sweets, what a shite, esp when you were so vulnerable (lo fish indeed). And interestingly your statement “What I found was mentally rising above certain emotions is not rising above them at all…They have to be felt….They are like a volcano that rises and the power behind them is the impetus for transcendance of those emotions.” That nails a huge part of my problems at the moment, I dwell in my head as it doesn’t feel safe to let go of the volcano of emotions and it’s a habit ingrained from childhood. I have to learn to dwell without drowning.… Read more »

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

To heal, you could go ape shit ff…

No crap..

In one instance I paced my kitchen nearly tearing my hair out that’s how insane some things felt…

Never forget what a teacher said to me one time…”they take them (the students moving through “stuff”), out to the woods so noone will hear the screams..”

I believe him now…

🙂

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Wanted to add that Noel Tyl considers the grand trines as a protective mechanism. Have you heard of that?

fluid feline
fluid feline

No, just thought it was a good aspect to have, i.e. easy energy. Tell me more Sweets.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Think it might be addressed in one of his books that I have as don’t recall off the top of my head.

‘Let me get back to you ff…

Bless…

bubble
bubble

wow. do u think you could come and do my family too ! you are right tho, it is insecurity at work altho some people do seem to like that sortov thing as they feel loved ?

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Yes, and to me thats ultimately freakin sick… Like for example my ex Pisces hearing and or feeling my pain. It made him feel loved… That’s what I ended up surmising and I told him “this is not love”… I’ve got to be fair too in that with a large dose of Leo Moon and Mars it was validating for his ego as well…Often times the Pisces part would finally reach out and hug me to comfort me…But it just didn’t last with his behavior overall. Still makes me sad sometimes because I saw him struggle with different sides of… Read more »

bubble
bubble

i never thot a sag moon wd be that way ? arent they supposed to be fancy free etc ?

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

They are both Moon Saggies with her Node in Sagg so probably past life stuff. She’s a Scorpio Sun and his Nodes in Scorp. Also, my brother had issues with my Mom and think that comes (or came…don’t think he’s so jealous now..) out with being critical of his wives. Like what they wore for example.. (he’s had three previous wives too!). “Where are you going dressed like that? Why do you need to put make up on to go to the store and wear that partiular top?”” Etc., yadda, yadda I actually had to “coach” him in some of… Read more »

sweet sanity
sweet sanity

I love flirting… extreme flirt alert. Luckily I’m married to a sag (me aqua)who doesn’t have a jealous bone in his body…… I’ve never cheated on anyone though btw.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

My brother, Libra Sun, Sagg Moon…

Can be extremely ballistic with jealousy

His wife told me that a guy came up to her when she was checking groceries and complimented her looks. She said “‘I’m married”.

He said, “your husband should get you a bigger ring”..

Of course she used that to make him mad and believe me, he was!!

davidl
davidl

I think flirting when your in a solid marriage is usually fine..and yes, it does obviously depend on the temperament of the partners.

seabird
seabird

Hey mystic – have you being reading my posts on the blog below? Although i am the focus of the jealousy this time. but it’s been a trip, the last few days. My initial reaction to women talking about me behind my back spreading rumours, was to go into a kind of war conference with myself. I’m a nasty, nasty person to cross, I have a wicked temper and dare I say it, I can be spectacularly and strategically cruel. And I have all the ammo to do so where I am. I thought ‘right, that’s it, you two are… Read more »

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

My Virgo sis and I know that we have the innate ability to level all comers if need be…(curse/gift from our Aries mother) but we chose to rise above it.
It also stops that rats gnawing at your soul feeling just not engaging in that level of venom. Glad you’re feeling the peace Seabird.

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

Oh and the Aries mum I mention is my bio mum, my adoptive mum (mum from when I was 10 days old mum is also an Aries but the sort that did get an order of australia for community work)

Über Virgo
Über Virgo

I used to be like that, seabird. Very cutting. Unfortunately being in business and coming from a large and difficult family means I need to confront people at times in order to get things done or have peace. I’ve gotten better at it. I boundary call the behaviour, but avoid getting personal, and have learned not take crap personally. I consulted a Zen friend of mine once when I had to do a boundary call on a rather aggressive person. I was pretty anxious and he told me to take the emotion out of it. Best advice I ever got.

lib rising ramzilla
lib rising ramzilla

i’ve always had that in my head mystic, from something i probably read when i was a little-y scanning mums Lovesigns. Aries jealous, taurus possessive… howevs, i don’t seem to get that jealous in relationships. i’m not sure this says anything about my straightforward astro-specs (aries sun & venus, lib asc, scorpy moon – v little earth) cos i think the aries / scorp mix is meant to make me a green eyed monster. but honestly, it rarely comes to mind… plus i’m quite liberal about sex stuff & i’m an open, thoughtless person so can imagine i would quite… Read more »

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

I think that through a couple of situations I learned what my boundries were and that was the lesson as I’m very live and let live overall but that can get one into trouble sometimes if others don’t know one’s preferences/boundries.

What I think being jealous or feeling possessive, or any of those things did for me ~was~ to define what my values are (Vesta in 2nd opp. Moon).

Don’t know that I’d ever really had to explore my values as had been married sixteen years and being single was just all so different…

tati
tati

shagging the ex doesn’t seem like so much of a threat really … sort of “been there done that”, they are unlikely to go back relationship-wise if they are with you, but it’s easy to just have sex with a body you’re familiar with. I wouldn’t think it’s worth worrying so much about as sex with a new person.

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

An appreciation of the opposite sex and a bit of hair tossing + inane smiling is pretty much par for the course…it’s the flirting where touching is involved where I have little tolerance. YES to the seethe and icy cool artic tundra level tolerance to flirting with intent or cheating. YES it is disrespect..I feel, it’s disrespect for themselves, the fellow flirter with intent, and me. Only person that did the way too touchy flirt to someone that was not me was an old Cap bf. I found it very easy to cut to the chase and say goodbye. I… Read more »

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

actually that’s true- when under duress, the cap moon really comes thru – if i see danger (jealousy wise), the temperature drops about 10 degrees, and it’s like I go on autopilot – basic social function only while the other 85% of my brain gears up to work out if there is something i should be really worried about.

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

ie i never/rarely lose it, i just go ice cold and so analytical, it’s not an act, it just happens. the emotions come later.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Oh yes, emo came later (Cap Moon). Cried alone alot…And when on the phone crying with him, it was like it fell on deaf ears. Not in the sense that he hung up on me or didn’t listen just that nothing changed…

And with that Moon in Cap in the 8th I was nearly immobilized by emotions. I remember just laying there…stuck. ..If it had not been for the gym and keeping those energies moving, I would have gone insane or gotten sick. My spirtual teacher told me I didn’t get sick because I didn’t repress.

Leonine Librarian
Leonine Librarian

I’ve been told at a limbic level there is fight, flight and freeze… Since Saturn stomped through Leo a couple of years ago I saw just how often I was freezing….I’ve previously just thought of this as me being immobilised as options flood in and I need some time and space to sort through…but there is also an icy quality to my emotions in the moment, they go into deep freeze and then I sift and sort when I feel safe. So much of what I feel just flits across my face normally, if I’m hurt or extremely pissed off… Read more »

prowlncat
prowlncat

Yeah I must demur on the subject of Earthians ignoring flirting or not being prone to hysterical jealous fits. The Double Bull was jealous to the point of being completely bonkers. I don’t flirt, but with Gemini Asc I do come across as “friendly” which he unfortunately interpreted as flirting on numerous occasions, much to my consternation. But he would also find grievance in the most stupid things and was jealous to the point of it being controlling. He also acted out on these jealousies, regardless of whether or not they were founded (they weren’t), by being deliberately flirtacious himself!… Read more »

prowlncat
prowlncat

Actually the Gem will bitch in their very public private journal, the Virgo will distract with numerous important tasks like removing mould from in between bathroom tiles behind toilet with a toothbrush, the Fish is the most likely to do the private weep … then they’ll just have a cone and do some out of body meditational thing and forget about it.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Yes, quiet and subdued is true regarding this Cap Moon and Venus Taurus. The “sunlight” is gone baby and those clouds that covered over the sun might take quite some time to clear. One time, when in Mexico walking down the street with the Pisces, a girl with a somewhat see thru top walked by. The Pisces turned his head way around and took a good look. I dropped his hand immediately and did not speak ONE WORD to him the rest of the afternoon and we were with his Dad and had a long day ahead. Of course they… Read more »

prowlncat
prowlncat

I wuld’ve said a glib “yes” … tehehe

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

He did end up disappointed in himself and you know, I know men will look, but out of respect, I don’t need to know. I busted my arse at the gym and took such pains to look good for him and then he turned his head around so obviously after I hadn’t seen him in about four or five days…One women in the gym had commented that whomever I did all my work for was lucky. And here I was going through such a time with him of not even feeling appreciated on the most basic level. It was just… Read more »

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

How do I cope? I don’t cope!!!!My knees weaken, my breathing becomes shallow and I talk absolute gibberish. It’s awful. Irritatingly, I also go for hot men, so there you go.

not-so-virginal
not-so-virginal

lol… so if you went for aesthetically challenged men there would be less of an issue fighting off the competition?… or you would feel less jealous when they wandered? 😉

No, that sounds like an awful situation… what to do though?

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

LS,

We really must get you some smelling salts a la your beloved Tom Ford’s White Patchouli…

Tom Ford does not come with the perfumed salts, that’s extra, but he did say he’s loyal… 🙂

unpredictable pisces
unpredictable pisces

massively sensitized to jealousy / cheating signs due to past bad experiences. I pretty much match the water description that mystic used. however am learning to bite the bullet and say ‘wtf’s going on’. If there’s actual flirting with intent (on either side), I refuse to stick around and deal with the fallout. I just draw a line under that relationship and walk away, otherwise it really f*cks with my head. why deal with someone who isn’t 100% about you, when there are others out there who would be.

not-so-virginal
not-so-virginal

hmm yeah i am totally typical earth with this. i have always felt that flirting is not worth making a scene about. actual cheating, however… but then maybe it’s a gemini moon thing, too. i could be too rational to go really emotionally deep about this stuff. myself, i try to deal with jealousy in terms of my own issues about self esteem etc… i’m into radical love / polyamoury. but even though i am pretty good with jealousy, i am still offended when people step outside the boundaries of their relationship for whatever reason. that includes people who are… Read more »

tati
tati

^ am basically into similar approaches to relationships & think it is more about loyalty + trust than physical/sexual fidelity. however i don’t really trust anyone lol! and being a scorpio i demand a level of loyalty that goes above & beyond what most people want/can give. am working on evolving with the whole jealousy thing. i agree it is strange when people say one thing and do another. especially when they berate you for being poly and then go and have an affair .. exqueeze me who is being more honest here? lol anyways…if they were truly monogamous they… Read more »

saggigal
saggigal

i can get jealous, but rarely act on it in any way major way -ie, scenes, yelling, door slamming etc. And do not waste time seething – if something seems really dodgy and its sparking jealousy/distrust, then i go gung ho in dealing with the issue. i’ve had ‘flirty’ boyfriends in the past, and it seemed to me a callous way to act if you profess to love someone- not ‘fun’, not ‘funny’ or charming, just actually quite cruel. like sweetpea said, i find it disrespectful, and a bit shallow, and i dont tolerate it. my sun-venus-juno conjunction in the… Read more »

Link
Link

Jealousy? Que? What for? Ok I admit, the ugly green monster does make his presence felt in my life from time to time. I do not admire him, so I give him very little oxygen. Or sometimes I wonder I’m too gormless or naive for my inner, green, monster to ‘come to’ in time.

Jilted and I’m another monster altogether.

Red lipstick on white duco glides wonderfully.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Link,

Are you saying

A) You bind and tape your loved one and kiss him through the duct tape?

B) You bind and tape your girl and she has lipstick on?

C) You bind yourself while wearing red lipstick to keep the monster from spewing forth?

Just wonderin’ 🙂

lib rising ramzilla
lib rising ramzilla

sweetpea – i think link might be saying that red lipstick gets on a white car when link is jilted. duco is aust slang for car paint.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

“Oh”…lol

In that case I’m still confused….

But okay, red on white it is…

Link
Link

Hmmm no. Not sure where the binding idea came from sweetpea. The red lipstick on the duco (as in car paint duco) was more in retaliation for being jilted, by the unbeknownst to me, local philanderer. Who I might add, I left my husband for. Jeebus. Oh well. Needed to leave my husband anyway–nice guy an’ all. BUT. Philandering Aqua sun, Virgo rising, Scorp moon–musician, said he would not consummate our relationship until I’d left my husband, for some hitherto unknown to me, legal reason. I forget the term, it has been lost to history. Anyway five weeks later, on… Read more »

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Yes, “duct” tape 🙂 … Peeps being bound up (hands tied) and then their mouths covered with duct tape hence my lipstick take on it and thinking that was what you meant humorously for revenge… But NOW, the red lipstick on the car for reals.. Reminds me of the Carrie Underwood song were she takes the baseball bat to the headlights and carves her name in the leather seats… Hey, I stole a cactus from the old bf and then ran it over… Do understand. Hope things are looking up now…I almost as well wanted to spray paint some things… Read more »

davidl
davidl

Clear cut flirting is grounds for being dumped in my books, no jealousy, just not interested in players.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

And it’s disrespectful moreover. I feel if you respect your loved one, you will value them and think about how they feel.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

At this point in my life I would have zero tolerance for such nonsense and yet where I might feel an issue I would have to look at it and see where I need to own it or not.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Just want to interject that I wish we humans did not have the jealousy tendency because it’s basically based on fear. But have it we do…

missLibraLibra
missLibraLibra

I out-flirt/out-seduce my partner!

Totally ‘if you think you can behave that way well do it while I walk off into the sunset with some hotter, cooler and richer than you’

Followed by passive-agressive ‘I can’t control who you talk to/what you do but just so you know when I see you with another girl it forces me to think about whether or not I really want to be with you’

Libra sun and moon

Baristagem
Baristagem

It depends, if it’s just fun flirting? Great! takes the pressure off when they see me doing it, but if it’s a little more serious than that, I’d agree with the air technicolor display…..

Gemini sun, pisces rising, Gemini moon

Aquarpio
Aquarpio

If Jimmy Stewart is involved all bets are off!
In my experience Earth signs are bonkers, actually. Have had many an Earth sign friend in the past and all of them were crazy competitive and retaliatory. Me, hmmm, (Sun in Aquarius, Moon in Pisces) depending on the situation it either doesn’t bother me because I feel secure in the relationship or I feel hurt because I take it personally.

Pisces Goat
Pisces Goat

Pisces sun, Taurus rising, Aries moon…Well my Taurean rising does NOT help me ignore ‘harmless flirtations’…I am a seether, a private crier, a…well basically everything when it comes to jealousy. I actually do try to acknowledge my ‘slight’ and talk about it, but for me, flirtation/jealousy is a biggie…perhaps the complete lack of an air sign in my chart explains this!

Taurean Love Expert
Taurean Love Expert

Ooo, as befits my earthiness, I am not terribly concerned by random flirtations, or even a party pash. However, if I feel genuinely slighted (ie ignored at a social gathering, but deemed ‘reliable’ enough to go home with later), my water comes to the fore on this one. I am *such* a seether, and issue secret demerit points. Not a character trait I am proud of, and I do try and say things *out loud* in my current relationship.

Bella
Bella

“the Earth Signs tend to ignore flirting etc as they are so stupendously secure, worldly and perhaps not so stricken with vivid imagination as some.” Wanna bet? I put paid to his little “secret” affair (admittedly, after allowing it to continue for several months), by dropping a word in the right ear. It all played out exactly as I predicted. She found out that he was cheating on me (and her) and dumped him within 36 hours. He still has no idea that I knew about it, or ended it. Oh joy. And I dumped him soon afterwards, for other… Read more »

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

Yes but you don’t make a scene on the spot. You are not overt about it. Is that “water moon” in Scorpio?

Bella
Bella

You are right TLS, I don’t do scenes. Too crass for me. My response is very much governed by my moon – cancer. Now you made me think. Because I knew all about it, I wasn’t particularly threatened by it. I actually got quite a bit of amusement from trying to trip him up about it. Poor fool didn’t see all the coincidences going on! I don’t think it was excessive though. He played both of us, and lost both or us, and a few weeks later, his job. That last part was an added bonus as he met both… Read more »

Matthew-Minerva
Matthew-Minerva

P.S. i found this! its sooo cute – what sign do u reckon they are lol http://ximo.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/kid-knows-jealousy.jpg
matt

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

Adorable!!

My Cap Moon finds making a scene too undignfied….Not that I DON’T feel the jealous twinge…I do

This is where the Moon saves the Sun in my book (Aries)..

And my Venu in Taur doe not abide the whole flirt with all and sundry even though I try to be big about it. Gem rising does understand…

Being a contridiction is a full time job and does stink..

Had a little something happen this weekend and will have to post back and so timely topic Mystic…x

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

I think coming back in and offering your congrats shows you’re a good sport Matt.

And you got the ‘cos…

Kissin’ cousins as Elvis would have said (or some hill billy ‘ther bouts” 😛 )

Matthew-Minerva
Matthew-Minerva

Fire Signs make scenes or stalk out the second they sense the attention deficit OMFG I OULDNT HAVE SAID IT BETTER MY SELF! i was at a party saturday night — went to 2am! (ROWING PRESENTATION NIGHT BTW!) and one of my friends hooked up with my ex … everyone looked at me and i dropped my glass and stormed out! LOL BUT THEN I CAME BACK IN AN CONGRATULATED THEM! I MEAN I COULDNT REALLY TALK – I ENDED UP WITH HER COUSIN….. OMg re-reading this i sound like a complete bitc* lol
omg
Matt

Mystic Medusa
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