Hi-Lo Astro: Haute Crab – Low Crab

Filed in Moon Signs, Cancer

Nelson Mandela Collar

Nelson Mandela

Q: How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. Cancerians don’t like change.

Haute Crab is EMPATHETIC. Cancerians ooze simpatico emotion in the same way other people perspire. They can relate to anyone: the celebrity going through a nasty divorce, the junkie who stole the Crab’s stereo. Just confiding to one of these folk is soothing. They are excellent at assuring one that “everything is going to be all right”, issuing very profound advice, and putting issues into perspective. It is as if they can actually absorb other people’s foul moods and transform then into joy for existence.

Haute Crab is ARTY. Cancer is the sign most likely of all to be a known artist. For example, Modigliani, Gustav Klimt, Rembrandt, Frida Kahlo, Marc Chagall, David Hockney. Their artistic nature is never a toss, merely part of their being. Gifted with the soul of a poet, they are able to see and transmit the world’s beauty, peak into the hearts of us all, and honour what has been forgotten. All Crab People, no matter how worldly and pragmatic, should find a way to evoke this blessed creativity.

Haute Crab is SEDUCTIVE. Crab People are dangerously alluring and literally enchanting. Their usual mode of operating is to appear mega-compliant. Later when the lover is hooked, they unleash the madness of their moody side. Eligible suitors stalk the Crab Person, longing to hear every detail of their latest hair issues, unresolved adolescent angst, or creative blocks. The sane friends of our Crab are furious: How can anyone be so seemingly deranged and yet utterly in demand? The Crab shrugs, busy re-reading an esoteric Hermann Hesse novel for insight into their own fascinatingly complex persona. Or The Dice Man.

Haute Crab is NURTURING. Kind, sweet and generous, Crabs are the gift that keeps on giving. At any one time, they tend to be mentoring a variety of folk. They are deeply understanding of the foibles of children, old people, the disadvantaged, and the lovelorn. The Crab’s home is often a centre of comfort and love, home for the homeless, a haven for the psychically displaced. They give shelter and love and withdraw into their cave with their chosen loved ones.

Haute Crab is PSYCHIC. Without much fanfare, Cancerians pick up on a lot of signals. Their perceptions are eerily apt and they are especially gifted in the realms of psychometry: picking up vibes from objects and places. They do well to take up home-witchery arts such as feng shui, geomancy (harmony with the environment), or space-clearing. But their spooky powers are just as useful in whatever brilliant career they choose for themselves.

Haute Crab is TRADITION-HONOURING. Cancerians make sure they do events like weddings or Christmas correctly. They will have the biggest tree, the best banquet, the “goodest” goodwill. They are absolute geniuses at maintaining photo albums and keeping up with every single niece and nephew. They make fabulous family historians; so do Capricorns but it’s an attempt to find ancestors of status. Geminis don’t bother because they can just fib about it. Pisceans look into the family background to find an excuse for their own conduct. Crabs do it because they truly revere their family story.

imeldaImelda Marcos

Low Crab is SULKY. Okay, so Crab People are really into feelings but, guess what? Sometimes it’s just their feelings. They invented the Power Sulk, capable of petrifying anyone against the crabby whim of the moment. Huffing out an inky black fog of disappointment, they use their psychic powers to beam a “you screwed up badly” message. Ask what’s wrong and they’ll say, “nothing”, before zooming off to call an ex-lover in secret. They never forgive but will pretend to forget just so they can bring out their hurt as an unexpected shock tactic. They think nobody understands them and, actually, nobody does.

Low Crab is SUBJECTIVE. Crab People are capable of boring everyone else to tears with subjective accounts of their feelings. They believe urban myths but get hurt and pouty when someone scoffs. Why should any conversation be interesting or amusing if the Crab is in the mood for a good wallow? They genuinely think that other people are acting cheerful because they lack Cancerian genius enough to figure that the world is going to hell. It’s as if because nobody else is dwelling on crap, that they haven’t grasped the situation. So the Crab Person feels they should simply go on and on. “Wouldn’t it be horrible to drown? No, really it would be.” If has to be all about how the Crab feels they would feel. They move from grizzling about their neighbour who apparently doesn’t feed the cat enough into a rant about share-market rip-offs without losing a beat. If, say, the TV breaks down, Aries or Scorpio will be in combat mode. Pisces or Libra would see it as a sign from the universe that they should go and take a bubble bath or drink gin in the garden. Crab People see it as a chance to evoke some ancient angst: “Oh, no! This is bringing up my body image issues!” It was said of novelists George Orwell (Animal Farm) that he could not blow his nose without moralising on conditions in the handkerchief factory.

Low Crab is OVER-NOSTALGIC. This is the only sign who seems to think things were always better in history. Never mind plagues, witch-burnings, or lack of sanitation, weren’t the frocks lovely? Didn’t they make wonderful furniture in those days? Think French writer Marcel Proust (Rememberance of Things Past) yearning over the taste of a cookie from yonks ago. Crabs are perfectly capable of bugging someone over an apparent whim of memory: “Surely you remember?” They can become haunted by a snatch of song and stalk around for weeks trying to make everyone else recognise the thing: “You must remember this, it goes ‘dum de dum de dah’. It’s at the back of my mind.” But a lot of things lurk at the back of Crab’s mind and not all of them need daily dredging up for reappraisal.

Low Crab is GUILTING. Which Sun sign is the greatest guilter of all? It always comes down to a play-off between Virgo and our Crab. Virgo is definitely better at verbalising. If you want pithy words to drill straight down into your own guilt complex, just let a Virgo down one day. But the Crab method of guilting is more diffuse. They can just glance at the culprit and leave them in a heap of remorse. They like to guilt the light fantastic, to make it Shame Week at Crab Central. Virgo does it for a hobby but Cancer is the guru of guilt. Cancerians plan blame-storming expeditions. They answer the phone in a voice rich with recrimination. They drunk-dial a former lover not to say “Come around right now” but to make them feel guilty for wrecking Crab’s life. They can deliver dinner party “victim impact” statements years after you lost a book they lent you. But their fave technique is to link a mini domestic mishap with their worst emotional pain ever. Then they bring it up again later in bed. They also favour the “Why do you always…?” approach,

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ainslieTigulliowebsydster canceryear of the fox Recent comment authors
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ainslie
ainslie

the ones that have ruthlessly hurt me the most. cancerians!!!! control freaks too

Anonymous
Anonymous

thanx this a cool photo nelson mandela rocks cos he changed the world

Tigullioweb
Tigullioweb

Thanks! I’ve searched this photo of Nelson Mandela! 😉

sydster cancer
sydster cancer

i was touched by the description. it seems to be that all astrologerians love to disdain cancers. i read astrology to find the beauty of my sign for i know that i am an awesome cancer. keep up the cancer love.

Triple Cancer Chick
Triple Cancer Chick

Gulity of ALL of the above. More haut than lo these days I hope. My Saturn returns was a doozy and I no longer do a lot of guilting, sooking etc. Life is too short to take things so personally. 🙂

Sarah
Sarah

My child has scorp rising, cancer moon and aries sun. As you can imagine he is quite cute, it is hard to be cross with him…he is on the go, never stops..but will always give me a kiss and a hug and wave me goodbye at the school gate….super protective and very loyal, a bit jelly when he doesnt have my full attention…. Me-Cancer sun and sagg moon….i think we are one of the more outgoing cancers..but I I tend to be a bit attached to the past and can become so subjective with my feelings of the past, add… Read more »

taurean alchemist
taurean alchemist

first born, Cancer – turned 16 yesterday in fact – and middle child, nine on July 16 (both with Aqua rising)… this all fits for them… see a little bas Kataka with the 16 year old’s Super Sulking from time to time.

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

My Cancerian’s bday the 17th TA. Scorpio rising, Sagg Moon.

Philip
Philip

Thank you for this generous and provocative post, Mystic – it is lovely to read about oneself in such detail! xx

Edwina
Edwina

my sister (aqua) has cancer moon and she is an amazing, thoughtful present giver

Sweetpea
Sweetpea

My Cancerian ex sister in law (from way back in the eighties) was very materialistic. She had the Corvette, the fancy diamond ring, the designer jeans, yadda, yadda. But she did not have a child and I did. For this she did not speak to me for over a year and my brother let her alienate himself from the rest of the family. I rememer how I would stroll my young daughter and think about how hurtful it was to be rejected and not really knowing why. She also, apparently, would not come and visit me because my neighborhood was… Read more »

year of the fox
year of the fox

omg that’s so sad sweet pea. That’s what happened to another Cancer friend of mine too. Couldn’t give up the wacky weed and cigs…baby died. 🙁 Very touching.

seabird
seabird

Oh, and I never get given presents quite like the presents that come from my Crab friends. One, knowing I love vintage, hands over some pristine, unique 1930’s garment every time I see her – with an airy ‘this made me think of you’. She will have found it months before and kept it aside for me, wrapped in tissue paper. The other, when asked to procure a few unobtainable edibles for me, stationed offshore – sent the most incredible package of beautifully wrapped things that she had collected from all our friends, including a piece of jewellery that I… Read more »

Year of the Fox
Year of the Fox

I agree! I know some people think Libras are good at getting gifts for others but Cancer gifts are usually awesome, something rare, one of a kind, vintage, old, and well thought out for the recipient. They are great to go shopping with esp if you go to a flea market or thrifting.

seabird
seabird

I know two low crabs and two high ones. The low ones: my wicked step-mother – who actually told me age 5 al-la Jane Eyre that she couldn’t have me near her children (my half-brother and sister) because I was a bad influence – this meant I wasn’t allowed free access to my dad. She’s since realised what this meant to a small child, and now she apologises – she is reformed and I love her but don’t trust her still – if this is possible (it is possible to love someone you don’t trust!). The other Cancerian is her… Read more »

cheshire cap
cheshire cap

I’ve never met a Cancerean I didn’t like. Maybe it’s a Cap thing but I’ve never had a problem reading them because to me they are so predictable when I know them well.

Cancereans often have recognisable laughter. Linda Goodman called it the Lunar laugh and they seem to have a full repertoire from insane giggle to belly-laugh

Libra with Scorp Planets
Libra with Scorp Planets

Thanks Mystic, you have just explained a lot about my Cancerian father, especially why he puts up with my Gemini Mother who is a world champion guilter. I didn’t realise dad was in on the whole subtle guilt trip!

Year of the Fox
Year of the Fox

Hmm…I know some haute crabs and some low ones. I tend to get along with them as long as we have a family or friend vibe. I’d never date one unless there were some seriously STRONG compatibility indicators, which I’ve never run into on the street. Most astrology things I read about have Pisces being all the drunks and drug addicts but it seems I know an inordinately large number who are Crabs (without a lot of Fish in their charts but maybe Neptune). My own pops comes to mind but he managed to overcome it. One of my old… Read more »

fluid feline
fluid feline

That’s me batsh*t loony you wicked fox 😯

Leo sun/Kataka moon/Fish rising

year of the fox
year of the fox

LOL! *runs away to hide*

Their haute side is that they care a lot about the people they are with. You will have no better protector if you need one. My best friend from high school and my current business partner both are Leos with Cancer Moons. I dig their style but man when things go sideways, their “plans” to get out of their situations seem a little crazy to me.

postmodscorp
postmodscorp

Thats me three Scorp Sun/Cancer Moon – does an Aries rising redeem me? I like moon in cancer – all the people I know with it create the most amazing homes, where people walk in, and are instantly comfortable, always amazing food on offer, clean sweet smelling beds, and boudoir like bathrooms for lounging in the bath with wine and smelly stuff!
And bat-sh*t looney? Well yeah, but in a high functioning flake kinda way!!

year of the fox
year of the fox

I think they have a high/low mode like how MM does the sun signs too. If you are one of the high ones maybe you can turn around my opinion! ^_^ Yeah totally –best homes ever– and if you get invited to a party or are a house guest it feels like you are at a wonderful spa or castle or something else cozy. Best hospitality. They are super psychic too! In the low mode, I get annoyed at how the ones I know are suckers for a “pretty face” male and female alike. With the business partner, she totally… Read more »

cancer/gem rising
cancer/gem rising

My birthday 2day and the more I read I realise even I hate cancers. I’m not friends with them, they are too prickly and moody, I can’t understand them and I am 1. I think about the people who love me, live with me and are my good friends and I can’t understand why they would put up with my crap. I wouldn’t, if I met someone like me, I’d do my best not to get involved or I would guilt and shame them until they were more humane, feel it my duty to keep pointing out that they are… Read more »

Link
Link

Oh dear. Me norf node is in Canther. I fink I’ve got the low Crab fing down pretty good. And me ex, the narthithitht, thertainly had the charmths of the haute version– to a T. Sumfing to athpire to. ( Not the narthithit bit). Tankth for dat. I don’t know why I’m typing with a lithp.

Sumfing I have found with Crab people, ith that theem to atthume they are the only one with feelingth (thumtime). And can be hellishly cruel to otherth.

matthew-minerva
matthew-minerva

I really do NOT work well with cancereans – sorry everyone – but they ALWAYS want to stay in the one spot, never change and are often very protective of others (even people that they dont even like) i mean seriously but this Saggo is totally against the clingy crab!
ps. bad experiences with a cancerean leave you feeling like this
matt

cancerian annie
cancerian annie

Self awareness is a wonderful thing, and you only get better at it by practicing…but oooooh sometimes a mirror is so hard to look into….!!!

aqua tiger
aqua tiger

I know a Crap who is the most vile person alive after his 4th glass of cask white, which will usually go from 3pm to 3am daily. After he drives everyone in the room out the door with his ranting over and over about … how wonderful the past WAS… he then gets nastier by the glass … I once lost it and said to him ‘if you must be such a bitter old drunk at least do it in a nice fine white linen suit ‘. He then told me the reason he is F’d up is because at… Read more »

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

Oh but she IS nostalgic. She never admits it but she is. she just calls it ‘conversation’ but she will never fail to bring up some very fuqing poignant little anecdote and i BET you two (?) are the same – you in denial about it.

prowlncat
prowlncat

oh hell yeah I can be nostalgic LS, but about my personal life, experiences etc …. just not that into glorifying of ye olde days. Victorian era – syphilis, poor sanitation, sexism … Wild West – pongy, rough, too many cacti … etc etc. If I glorify anything it’s the future when we meet the aliens and get to travel in wormholes and cool interstellar motherships and and … must be my aqua mars 🙂

scorpalicious robot
scorpalicious robot

and your Sagg moon too i reckon.

The Leo Socialite
The Leo Socialite

So true – i have crabby girlfriend who CAN, it’s true, irritate the hell out of me with insisting i honour really dullo occasions that really are not resonating but she is so funny and apt at skewering really hard (for me) even to define let alone to be witty and laugh about emotions. And her timing! Amazing. But i have watched her be swamped or blasted out in big occasions – it always annoys me that not everyone sees what i see in her. She is like a little moonflower who will only blossom under the right gaze. What… Read more »

prowlncat
prowlncat

I’m with Nat … no mooning over the olden days here. I think another hi crab trait is the loony and wicked sense of humour … it’s the coping strategy for all that emoting and having to deal with cyclical mood swings.

fluid feline
fluid feline

That’s true prowln – know 2 Cancerian gals with loony, wicked humour style, hadn’t thought of that aspect before.

Brian
Brian

Oh so good, smiled, laughed, wept, then found you had started these with mine. back to smiles. Some talent you have Mys 😉 Cheers

nat
nat

Love these ‘Hi-Lo’ sign posts Mystic. You are spot on as usual. As a Cancerian Sun I concur with Crab ability to reach some of those Hi traits. It can be bloody exhausting being everyone’s Empathy Aunt – I don’t ask but people just tell me their secret stuff. People often tell me that I am so calm and together… so they feel OK dumping on me! (Maybe my Neptune Asc… attracts projection?). I need lots time alone to restore my balance & energy. Could I add cooking to Hi list? Most Crabs I know are pretty handy in the… Read more »