The real Saturn Return meaning is that you acquire worldly wisdom that drastically improves your life. But, the school fees are expensive.
Saturn Return occurs every time the Karma Cop returns to where it was at the time of your birth. That’s every 28/29 years. It is invariably a phase when we reckon with time, our history and stature in whatever society we are in. If you don’t do Saturn, you can’t access the Outer Planet genius of Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. Or, you can, but it’s an erratic frequency.
So ideally we get three Saturn Returns a lifetime. The world’s officially longest-lived woman – a Piscean – had four. Jeanne Calment loved chocolate, olive oil & cigarettes. She took up fencing at age 95 & recorded an album named Time’s Mistress.
Saturn Return Strips Away Fluffy Delusions
Saturn Return – along with Mercury Retrograde – is probably the best known of astro-passages to the non-cosmic public. Ignore the gloom-mongering. At base, the Saturn Return meaning is just a super-intensive version of any Saturn transit and, as such, it works if you work it. It strips away fluffy delusions and cute little veils you may have draped over unpleasant realities. You don’t need them, you never did and now you can see that. Once you remove all that clutter, you’re left without enablers or energy vampires to go out drinking with. Soon, you won’t even miss them!
Saturn Return – the first one – is simply when Saturn gets to the same place that it was when you were born. It happens for the first time at about the age of 28/29 for everyone. Saturn takes that long to go around the Zodiac cycle. Before the first Saturn Return, people often feel invincible or as if certain aspects of ‘grown-up’ life don’t apply to them. What aspects? Anything from rules about not drinking tequila all day to flossing your teeth or paying tax on time. It can be when you realize harsh relationship lessons; that bad boys turn into bad men. Or that love can be true at one point but fade nonetheless. And, that people you’ve slept with are quite different when you’re no longer sleeping with them but have possessions, children or money to argue about.
Saturn Return Separates Girls From Women, Boys From Men & Non-Contenders From Contenders
But Saturn Return separates girls from women, boys from men & non-contenders from contenders. It’s a fantastic time to take yourself and your goals more seriously. You look around and realize that you are no longer automatically one of the youngest people in any group. Emotional scars itch. You can be poignantly aware of defeats and the time you’ve wasted in the past. But Saturn is not the sort of astro-energy that rewards wallowing. Turn your regrets into a practical action plan and watch the Saturn Fog dissipate.
Decisions are weightier than they’ve felt before and if you skidded around responsibilities or hard work earlier in your life, guess what? They’re upon you. The good news is that you can work your way through a Saturn Return. Having a coherent plan, cutting out the crap you know is bad for you and working like mad are all time-honored Saturn Return mastery techniques.
Dental Bills Seem So Non-Fabulous
The first Saturn Return is the hardest. Demands to get an accountant, grow up or pay $$$ for dental bills seem so non-fabulous. It invites comparisons to peers and their earnings or achievements, along with those of older people when they were at your age. It evokes father issues and the eerie awareness that you can’t trade off youthful naivety or cute bubbly charm, if you ever did. The second Saturn Return is easier because Saturn is the Time God; every Saturn transit gets better with age.
It’s more challenging in that people in their late 50s are evolving their self-maintenance regimes to support their joints or needing to digest disillusion with the way certain things turned out. A classic second Saturn Return SNAFU would be the combination of elderly parents, disappointing children and feeling less ‘seen’ in society. Or dealing with work irks that seem like deja vu even as you’re fuqed off with your appearance or metabolism. But the bonus? An enviable aplomb when handling most of life’s vicissitudes. By the time the Time God swings around for the second time, you’ll have reliable instincts and a hard-won calm. You won’t mobilize valuable resources to deal with a threat that barely warrants a raised eyebrow or lose your chill-serenity over a faux romance. You’ll have a serenity that you would have longed to have when you were in your 20s. Or, even in your Thirties and Forties.
Image: Steven Meisel