Venus retro huh? So it isn’t just me freaking out about everything to do with my fiancee’s past and deciding I really don’t want to get married, marriage is a stupid concept anyway???
I was already divorced and sceptical (at just 33…Aquarian cheated on seems to find hard to forget and even want to trust again). We met when I was coming out of very difficult stage of my life. So Me the Aquarian who had been the most solo of all her friends, was suddenly getting lots of attention from guys and loving it. Yep, this heralded the fun yet brief time of Me the Slut. Prob not best time to meet potential life partner. More so for him coming out of an even darker stage where he and his wife, pregnant with their second child, separated. He (being a Sag) was suddenly entwined with a crazy Dutch Capricorn girl. Like really crazy. Stalker-bunny-boiler material.
And we meet. Making a television show in the Maldives. I am really having lots of fun. He ends relationship with the Dutch Bunny Boiler days after meeting me and proclaiming love at first sight. The Dutch Capricorn Stalker starts stalking me and him at work and hotel until production becomes involved and asks I i want to press charges….regretfully I said no…
We become entwined and I feel like he the man who completes me. But there is good news on the way…..Saggo is apparently extremely fertile and Dutch Capricorn Stalker is pregnant (he says she lied to him and tricked him..who knows)…..with freaking TWINS. So he has wife at home with brand new babe, his Dutch Capricorn Stalker pregnant with twins….and me who was finally enjoying life again for first time in 3 years thinking totally What The Fuq
I say enough. Too messy? Far too complicated for an Aquarian who can’t trust nor deal with complicated human situations anyway. And not that I am moralistic (well maybe a tad) but what kind of man does that? Really. The show ends. He still proclaiming to love me goes home to try to calm the shitstorm with his wife and new baby…..Unbelievable…she actually let him back?? I forget him and move on….first time in my life in my own cute little apartment..I am making an amazing doco and even have a job I kind of enjoy….
6 months later another tv show shoot starts….I dread it but need the $$$. Of course he is there and did I tell you he is the most attractive man I have ever met? He starts pursuing again….wearing his wedding ring this time. I SO stupidly blindly attracted to him and really really love our conversations….how awful am I ? yep felt heaps of guilt (thanks to good catholic upbringing) about `poor’ (she isn’t poor she is a total Scorpio bitch) wife with the kids….He explains they not together at all, just living together for the kids, been going to counselling but he sleeping in caravan and not allowed in the house. What??! No comprende….move out then methinks!!! What with the ring then?? I at that stage thinking I independent free woman and going to have a good fun time with this guy….(so selfish huh? but I was just turning 30 and the whole month of Feb was mine to party away)
Yeah, I think I really stupid but kept seeing him. Then I really fell for him. Hard. Harder than ever before. He promptly moved out of his caravan and we together all the time. Divorce follows and now three years later we have started our own business, gotten engaged and both have a really nice relationship with his kids (the australian ones, the Dutch Capricorn Stalker has been scarily quiet lately…But now I am suddenly stalked by doubt…I see him as pathetic and horrible typical man with his brain in his dick and me as an awful selfish home wrecker….their home was already wrecked long before I on the scene but still wonder what kind of man really??? We have dark stages sure but as far as I know him he is totally forthright (even about bad shameful things) and the most loving giving guy I know….but the Doubt. What do I do? Can I marry this man?
Confused and Guilt-Ridden Aqua…”
Dear Confused & Guilt-Ridden Aqua,
Oh how I love television peeps, I truly do. I think you are experiencing the Saturn-Uranus opposition. The voice of Uranus is saying how cool is this? He’s handsome, hot and individuated. You are soulmates. You do awesome work together. Who gives a shit about bourgois conventional crap dude? And Saturn is saying ‘get real you home-wrecking idiot. He is a proven sleazebucket and by marrying him you create a vacancy. And then you will get to be the boring bitch wife at home with the baby whilst he ponces around impregnating his stalkers and telling everyone what a bitch you are at the tiki-tiki bar every evening…’
You know? BOTH voices are valid. And both are insistently loud at the moment. And of course Retro-Venus forces us to examine our past relationships. Especially retro in the no-shit sign of Aries. I had the most sweetest Cancerian Moon sooky-goo-goo insight that is almost too cloying to share. But i thought that all the men who have ever loved me, really tried and totally loved me. Maybe imperfectly and all that. But that even the Uranian did, despite his ultimately succumbing to the Neptunian side of life. And i was so touched by this insight. I sound like i just reek of lavender oil, I know.
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