“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” Buddha
HAUTE ARIES IS:
SELF-ACTUALIZING: Long before it was fashionable, like even in the Dark Ages, Arieans would wake up way too early and whilst looking at a reflection of themselves in a lake, pond or mirror, screech “every day in every way, i get better and better.” This lot are real doers. They believe in showing – not telling.
SIMPLE: The archetypal Aries is proud to be shallow. They think being profound is a defence mechanism for the slow-brained or less attractive of the human species. Basically, Ariean life principles go like this: they believe only boring people get bored and that people won’t want to know you if you are gloomy. Also, you should not tell tales. And, you can cheer yourself up by doing something for somebody else. Pitching in for charity will cure any case of boredom, depression or, as Aries call it, grizzling. They are also meritocratic. The Ramzilla ethos is to admire achievement, without envy or concern of the achievers, race, religion, gender or social background.
HONEST: Arieans are direct and gallant and they get upset by caddish conduct. They think all lies are black. If your Aries doesn’t promise to call for a date, they say “I won’t call unless I get this drunk again.” Or “have a great life.” Even a simple piece of social bullshit such as “I’d love you to stay for dinner but…” does not trip lightly off the Aries tongue. They feel sinister and treacherous for telling even the teensiest fib and so they don’t. But beware, Aries is adept at spotting a liar. There is but one exception to the Ariean automatic truth detecting mechanism. They will accept the most outrageous falsehood if it is flattering enough to them.
COMPETENT: Results are Ramzilla’s raison d’etre. Aries is as Aries does. While even the most functional Arieans are up themselves to an awesome degree, they are given to belittling their genuine accomplishments. An Aries will storm out in a huff if you are not garrulous enough about their new haircut or latest victory over a hangnail. Then they’ll turn around and be too embarrassed to talk about a neighbourhood social justice coup or winning a Nobel peace prize. “It was nothing,” they shrug, as they wander back into the house, having climbed Mt Everest backward or whatever. As Bach said, “all one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.”
POSITIVE: Ramzilla rocks. Even people who literally can’t bear to be in the same room as an Aries will testify to their inspirational optimism. Their glass is always half-full and they want yours to be too. Arieans like their gossip to be life-enhancing. They do not partake in what the Germans call Schadenfreude – malicious glee in another’s misfortune. It’s partly because they are superstitious and don’t want to “catch” the ill wind, a bit because they’re bored about news that is not about themselves but mostly, it’s due to chirpy goodwill toward humankind.
BRAVE: Arieans are rugged idealists. Stress doesn’t stress them. They will not accept any form of inertia, be it corruption, poor service or a non-adoring spouse. Ramzilla revels in the fact that they employ the government, that marriage is an adventure and that life is too good to be subtle. Aries is the person who, not having exercised for a year, suddenly enters a triathlon. When Arieans get fed up with their jobs or a client, they sack themselves before any form of disrespect (their worst nightmare) can take place.
“I have been uncompromising, peppery, intractable, monomanical, tactless, volatile and, at times, disagreeable.” Bette Davis.
LOW ARIES IS:
ARGUEMENTATIVE: When Arieans argue, they fantasize about being in a courtroom where the audience is gasping in awe at the power of their oratory. You may think the issue is a simple dispute but in the megalomaniacal mind of Aries they are performing in front of an invisible jury made up of reasonable men and women quite unlike you. An Aries would cheerily take on “the earth is flat” side of a debate and win. Entering into an argument with an Aries is ill-advised because they enjoy the sound of their own rant – it really is music to their hoary little ears.
EGOMANIACAL: Self-realization? Arieans realized themselves at birth; it’s everyone else who has to realize them. They live in flux between a sense of grandiose brilliance and a fear of never achieving their total potential. You say ‘self-help’ – they think ‘learning to accept my own superiority’. Let’s say you are trying to discuss your tennis elbow problem with Aries. They’ll snap “I don’t get tennis elbow. I never get that sort of thing. Never have – even though I am a fantastic player with a killer serve…”
HYPER-COMPETITIVE: Arieans hotly deny this because, of course, in their mind there IS no competition. But Ramzilla is competitive in the same way that a fish takes up swimming. All of them are perfectly capable of standing in front of Michelangelo’s David and announcing that their physique is better. Actually, a trip to any art gallery with an Aries can be challenging as they have very clear confidence in their innate artistic talents. So, while everyone else is meandering around commenting in quiet murmurs, the Aries boom suddenly resounds throughout the room: “Good grief! Are they mad? I could knock up something better than that with house paint and a roller.”
CRAZY: Arieans are crazy at work, crazy in the sack and ego-crazed to boot. It’s so lucky that sanity is relative. It’s not the Scorpio conspiracy-theory madness nor even the Piscean stream of consciousness ‘I am avant-garde so don’t question my infidelity” rave. People forced to spend more than 20 minutes with Aries start thinking about tranquilizer guns fired into the meat of the thigh. Would it stop the rant? Aries doesn’t get this. They look over and see someone clenching their jaw with glazed over eyes and assume that the person is battling a gigantic crush on the Aries. They think subtlety is for suckers: over-reaction is not a concept recognized by Ramzilla. Any Aries reaction is always appropriate, you understand.
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