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Hugh Hefner’s Uranus Return

November 11, 2009 in Celeb Fluffery by Mystic Medusa | 12 comments

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I was sitting at my desk snivelling last night – my cold is getting heaps better thank you – and i saw some article about Hugh Hefner. It looked so totally the same as the rest of the five zillion articles on HH (dressing gown, peanut butter sandwiches, Playboy mansion has some mould in it, likes blondes with big tits, still believes in himself as sexual liberator, wishes all his ex-wives the best, is living the American Dream apparently, blah blah blah) that I did not bother to read it.

BUT it did prompt me to look at  his chart. Here, in the interest  of furthering our astro knowledge, is Hugh Hefner’s birthchart. Comments welcome. Here are my thoughts. Totally offhand. He ain’t asking me for help.

* He is Aries Sun with Virgo Rising and a hefty Aquarius Influence…Mars and Jupiter…Much like my Ex-Ramzilla whom, oddly enough, i met when he was working for Penthouse magazine.

* Virgo Rising and with Saturn all over it of late, he must have been hell to live with around the mansion. I can see him zipping around all hours of the AM/PM, leaving narky notes for the cleaners and going absolutely APESHIT at sanitary products left out anywhere. He would be neurotically straightening things and furious at such things as tattoos or punk hair colours. No wonder Kendra took off to marry a hot young cage-fighter. Or am i mixing her up with someone else?

* Okay, see that Sun in the 7th house?  He HAS to be a in a relationship. Genuinely needs it to feel expressed in his life. But then he has the Mercury-Uranus right on the cusp of his House of Love…That’s needing absolute freedom in love so how apt that he sets up a publishing empire (Mercury) based around sexual freedom and a situation where he always has more or less three girlfriends but maybe not the necessity of true intimacy with any of them. Top marks for manifesting Mercury-Uranus so well. And Mercury is his chart ruler…If your chart ruler is aligned with Uranus,  you WILL lead a trail-blazing life, one way or another.

* Moon-Venus in Pisces – idealises women & well, yes.

* Mars-Jupiter in Aquarius – may not be driven so much by sex at ALL…Neptune opposite the Jupiter/Mars — major fantasist but see how he has made his fortune off it…It’s a similar set-up to that of a lot of cartoonists and film-makers; 5th House, Jupiter-Neptune-Mars, Leo/Aquarius involvement.

* Next year he has his Uranus Return! Yes and right on the cusp of his House of Love…What could he do that would SHOCK everyone? Marry someone his own age? Suddenly introduce a hot young himbo into his stable of lovelies? Sue the Pope?

* I think it’s cool that there are more and more peeps out there being full-on self-actualizers (even HH’s kind of archaic version of it) at the time of their Uranus Return…

A Slumber Quest For Those Who Sleep With Another Person

October 23, 2009 in Metaphysical Quirks by Mystic Medusa | 34 comments

treebednr1Shawn Lovell Metalworks

Here it is & it only works if your bedpartner is someone you know reasonably well. eg; co-habit with or whatevs.

For one night, you sleep on their side of the bed. And he/her on your side. You wear the thing the bedpartner normally wears to sleep in and they wear yours.

You have their dreams or at the very least a major insight into their subliminal meanderings. Magic. Weird. My now-Ex Ramzilla husband said i was totally bang-on with my description of his dreams. He was visibly impressed. Said I was even describing his typical dreamscape really well.

But he totally refused to discuss what his dreams had been like, only to say that they had been uncharacteristic and unusual. Would they, I ask, align with what he thought my actual subconscious was like? He wouldn’t comment. Nada. Virgo Rising, you understand. Discreet? Freaked? Or simply unwilling to extrapolate given that he wouldn’t don MY sleepwear to enter the realms of Morpheus?

And o.m.g who is kind of impressed but flipped out by the bed? I think it would give me even stranger dreams than i already have. Be cool if you could attract real birds into it though. Or would it be?

Astro-Boobs

September 21, 2009 in Astro-Cliches, Astro-Query by Mystic Medusa | 50 comments

gina_lollobrigida_02Cancerian Gina Lollobrigida

Ages ago I read, in an astrology book I cannot recall, that lady-Cancerians have “the most exquisitely sensitive and finely formed breasts of the Zodiac.” Yes, i remembered the phrase. Astrologically, as you can see from the ye olde pic below, different bits of the body have always been apportioned a sign/planet etc. Medical astrology is ancient and fascinating in itself, with a complex interplay between remedies & herbs also being assigned a planetary or cosmic value and so on.

But for now, I am mostly interested in the Cancerian thing…is this true? Best boobs? Most sensitive? And yes, I KNOW that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that Draconian standards of beauty contribute to an out-dated & fuqed paradigm whereby women being merely judged by…Okay, maybe we stick to the most sensitive…

And btw, it IS so true that Aries have a little ‘Mars mark’ on their head or face, usually a dent or scar from some daring Ramzilla-style exploit. But yah, Aries “rules” the head and face.

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None But The Lonely Ram

September 1, 2009 in Astro-Passages by Mystic Medusa | 40 comments

0827wood.3Sam Taylor-Wood

Pity the poor Aries this month, so dreadfully understood. The Ramzilla ruling planet, Mars, is in the sign of its “fall” as it is the opposite of Mars in Capricorn, which is considered “exalted.” And right now Mars is squaring an about-to-be-retrograde Mercury. Ouch. So our Aries is bouncing about as usual, their personal hotness regime enough in place to ensure nothing seems amiss, but deep down they’re fuming at the lack of respect, understanding, space, intimacy…you name it. Tell your friendly, neighbourhood, secretly sulking Aries that all will be insanely well once Mars get into Leo and goes bats there  for nearly nine months from October. There will be opportunities. There will be creation. There will be Hubris.

Ramzilla 2 the Max

June 17, 2009 in Moons by Mystic Medusa | 35 comments

chargingRam

Mmmm and the Moon is in antsy old Aries until the morning of Thursday in Los Angeles & New York, mid-arvo Thurs in London and just after midnight so very early Friday AM in Sydney.

Tetchy, ambitious & energy to burn but soooo frustrated at things that don’t move quick enough…which they just damn well WON’T during a Dark Moon and with Mars sludging along in Taurus, waiting for Venus to catch up and the party to start. But the Moon in Aries does not give a fuq about any of that; Moon in Aries wants action – now, cut-through – within the next five minutes and to outwit/outlive/out-think/out perform and out everything all those who have ever dissed her/him.

You need to channel the Ramzilla vibe correctly or elst you WILL start bitching it up. Frenetic physical activity, cleaning, working, martial arts, saving people, sex if you are not too bad tempered, striding along furiously toting up the peeps who diss you & typing definitive No-More missives of shit.

Dark Mooned

May 19, 2009 in Astro-Passages, Moons, Planets by Mystic Medusa | 10 comments

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Just a few more days of this Dark Moon until the glorious New Moon in Gem AND a Jupiter Chiron conjunction kicks off the Auspicious Aqua Weirding on Sunday…Actually the Jupiter-Chiron conjunction (magical healing, innovative expansion, optimistic synchronicity) is just before the New Moon but still…

Soon the Dark Moon wanes into Aries and meets Mars – that’s when we have to be careful. Ramzilla energy can tend to, um, i don’t want to use a dodgy metaphor…move too hastily. And that’s the Weds-Thurs vibe…No-one acts/initiates/goes over the top on a Dark Moon with Mercury Retrograde squaring everything in sight but an egomaniacal, throbbing Aries Moon nearing Mars will so inspire impulse.

Hopefully La Temperanza will be a helpful muse in this regard. And, if you’re feeling a bit like the girl with her cat above, take heart, rest & be of good cheer as feeling a bit low, over-whelmed et al in the Dark Moon is considered normal. Natural, even.

Do Admit: Your Aries (Male) Ex Was…

May 16, 2009 in Astro-Cliches by Mystic Medusa | 40 comments

Dudes, DO ADMIT: Your Aries (Male) Ex Was…

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A RAVING SHOW-OFF, EASILY DRAWN INTO BOASTING ABOUT HIS DARING & ATHLETIC ACCOMPLISHMENTS…

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REALLY INTO SELF-IMPROVEMENT…

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Enthusiastic, if inept, at helping out around the house….

waterhouseA sucker for any Damsel In Distress scenario…

AND WELL-MUSCLED…

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See also: Harry Houdini & David Blaine: Illusionist Stuntmen & Aries


The Aries Count…And Delia Antwerp Aaars

May 12, 2009 in Astro Gaga by Mystic Medusa | 45 comments

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THIS is Count Gian Luca Passi de Preposulo, featuring in the June issue of Vanity Fair mag in a story that is sucky yet compelling about The World’s Most Eligible Heirs & Heiresses. I can find NOTHING online re him. Nothing. Yet he fascinates me. Not the $$$ but that he has all that + a title and yet chooses to pose in a wet shirt with his hairy chest showing. I mean, he could have said ‘get nicked’ but no, he did it. The pics are by Bruce Weber, btw, whose thing is shooting hot guys. I don’t think the females in the VF spread come off so well at ALL.

The Count Passi de Prepasulo has but one quote I can find: “It’s not the title that’s important, you have to be a Count inside yourself.”

Soooo he’s not really at all po-mo or into political analysis but he has clearly thought about his self-image. He likes to show off his hairy chest – I mean he is not needing the money or anything and he’s got Ariean/Mars eyebrows…In fact, he reminds me of Ramzilla, my Aries Ex-Husband. He will ADORE this comparison….But it’s true. Cocky Aries grin, Count or not. I’m saying he Aries…Anyone?  Hmmm…Or Leo…

If anyone is happy to speculate re The Aries Count’s imaginary life and/or even how the photographer/art world persona and Designer Hair Skirt wearer Delia Antwerp-Aaars would react should she meet him but briefly, I am SO up for it.  I mean, he’d issue forth one disdainful snort of derision re her Bauhaus armchair and she’d have it tossed out in the back lane within NANOSECONDS.

Even if she had to phone from a Berlin video art installation opening to brief a meth addict to break into her house and STEAL the thing, it would be gone. Because she does SO trust “dear Gian” and she totally gets it about how the inner Count is more important than silly titles, money, castles, speedboats, ancient estates, entree into gilded circles, generations of servants, never having to fly commercial ETC.

She can vibe quite suave & arty-international cashed-up member of The Wankerati when she wants to but Delia made some mistakes when dealing with the Aries Count. And she wakes up next morning in the shitty Bauhaus BED at the place she is staying in Berlin with a hideous hangover and she remembers with an emotion that’s WAY beyond the shores of chagrin;

(1) She tried to tell the Aries Count that Antwerp-Aaars was actually a powerfully aristocratic name of some note amongst the nobility of Northern Poland, an obscure and yet secretly quite powerful mob descended from…Did she say Lilith? Or Mary Magdalene?

(2) When she finally checks her phones, there are several text messages from peeps concerned/amazed that the Aries Count was seen beckoning over his (amazingly discreet) security after Delia tried to pin him up against the wall – playfully – until he agreed to attend the opening of her next photography exhibition in Glebe.

Heaven & Elle

May 6, 2009 in Celeb Fluffery by Mystic Medusa | 15 comments

elle3icon2512_468x703Daily Mail.

Hmmm, so this is bound to sound bimbonic but i don’t care. I love Elle MacPherson (she is a such a Ramzilla/Pisces blend) & I love Uggs and I even love stupid Aquarian men. This is the annoying aspect of the Moon in Libra opposite Mars today. Sentiment. When everyone knows that Aqua-men thrive on distance, treat-them-mean-to-keep-them-KEEN etc. It’s like a mini war within oneself. If you’ve got a big battle plan in place and it’s a good one (ie; to give up a grotty habit or not go back to a tricky lover, whatevs) then don’t let Moon-Mars weaken resolve.  My theory is also that relationships all over the place are changing with Pluto in Capricorn. People have a lot less time for the sloppy, counsellory crap of Pluto in Sagg; they’re more hardcore worldly & cynical about relationships.

Anyway, here is Elle on Heaven etc, from Tatler mag.

Q: Which religion do you practice?

A: I’m not into organised religion. They say religion is for people who are afraid of hell and spirituality is for people who have been to hell and back.

Q: What’s the perfect age?

A: Whatever the age you are right now. We are all exactly where we are supposed to be. That’s the perfection of the universe.

Q: Do you believe in love at first sight?

A: I believe in lust at first sight.

Q: Do you have a party trick?

A: I am the party trick.

D.I.Y Astro – His (Hetero) Venus

April 21, 2009 in D.I.Y. Astro, Planets by Mystic Medusa | 141 comments

daisy-duck-valentines1You can tell a lot about a het bloke from his Venus. Or HER Venus if she be gay. It’s what he fancies. And of course there is the Moon as well, but that’s more like the Mother, what he feels comfie with. If you want to analyze his pure lust/falling-for quotient check out the Venus; the sign & the house + any aspects but stick within a few degrees of exactitude or else you went send yourself bats.

It’s eerily accurate. For example, a guy has (say) Venus in Saggo. Rock up tanned & with some top you got at a market in Thingistani. Wear turquoise beads. Be fidgety. Get emo about how important the separation of Church & State is to you. Say you’re actually really bummed out because your snowboard hasn’t been fixed yet. Putty in your hands. Of course if he has his Venus in Saggo square Pluto than you also casually mention that your last relationship broke up because he wasn’t kinky enough. Trine Saturn? You cut your last trip short to come back and do some bush regeneration volunteer work that also helped you get in some networking with Blah-Corp.

Venus in friendly aspect to the Moon means there is not any conflict between women he feels aroused by and those he feels relaxed with. When they square, it’s tricky. eg; I know a Taurus with a Kataka Venus who has the most hyperbolic nesting and canny security conscious partner ever but he’s got Moon in Sagg, plays up when away on the old-fash grounds that it does not count when in a motel.

My teenage son has Venus + Moon in Virgo & has always liked girls who are what he calls “nimble” as well as “fastidious” and he will fall out of love/lust at warp speed if there is even one symptom of thickness such as a malaprop or mispronounciation. Ramzilla-Ex has Moon in Aquarius trine Venus in Gemini so brilliant at giving women their space & respecting/supporting their individuation but would withdraw as if facing kryptonite at the hint of any emo.

As an experiment, try it – channel an over the top version of your lover’s Venus for just six hours. And see what happens. Don’t blame it backfires. If he (or she) has Venus in Aries, boast about your bench presses and delivery awesomely up yourself but quite motivating pep talks. Venus in Capricorn – wear a fantastic watch, be thin & flat haired with a regal degree of empowerment on display.  As my Aquarians both have Venus in Aquarius they respond brilliantly if i am seemingly off-planet. They like evidence of other-worldly or futuristic behaviour. eg; Sorry I didn’t return your call. I was levitating. Or I was tending my Deadly Nightshade plantation and forgot your name.

Venus in Leo; be loud, big-haired & issue huge theatrical laughs a lot with your head thrown back. Be constantly on the alert for an opportunity to crack open the champers, dress up and/or listen to live music. Emote at length about  your fave film directors. Throw some mirrors into the bedroom quick-smart and fuq the Feng Shui. Have teeth that you can see from SPACE. A scent that can be detected by anyone with an olofactory nerve who comes within 200 metres.

Are you guys getting the idea????

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