I blame my Mars in Virgo but I love cleaning.  Or my umpteen planets in Pisces? Yes, Pisces. And the people I know are neatly divided into two camps:

Group One:

Those who loathe cleaning, bitch entertainingly about hating it, dread it and/or have even mounted a fairly spirited feminist argument against it. eg; that it saps their creativity.

Group Two:

Those who love cleaning and have turned the whole thing into a sacred art form that will usually involve some form of ritual candle burning, essential oil spraying, smudging and/or house blessing.

For instance, i was talking to the Piscean Beauty Fanatic the other week and was beside herself with glee as she was about to spend the whole Saturday cleaning. And yes, she does have a life – a business, pole dances & yoga for fitness & does a lot of Reiki/aura-soma style stuff.

I think that it does help if you have any sort of Feng Shui-Geomancy-Sacred Space style belief system. So you’re not just cleaning, you are instilling sparkling fresh Qi into your home environment, sorting your life (symbolically) as you sort your shite and setting your mind at ease.

But weirdly, the Solar Virgoans (sun sign virgo) seem to often resent it – it’s Moon in Virgo that gets off on it i.m.o.

Pisceans who have an ill-deserved slovenly reputation in astrology are often completely into zooshing up their environment & can happily compulsively clean for hours in between bouts of debauch. Same with Libra. I think because Pisceans are magical thinkers and Librans love scented symmetry.

Taureans and Cancerians would rather cook than clean – if you’ve really done a decent job sacred cleansing, there’s no WAY you want to stuff up the kitchen a.k.a. symbolic gleaming abundance pod.  Aries & Gemini clean if there is a mission/reason to do so.

I suspect Leos & Capricorns to be naturally slovenly and deep down feel strongly that there ought to be Help. Good Help to slink around with white gloves dusting & offering to fetch the Leo/Cap a glass of champagne from the fridge that Good Help has just disinfected and vanilla-wiped.

Virgos often also hoard, the enemy of a clean and uncluttered space unless it’s something like bulk loo paper. ie; practical.

I think Sagg & Aquarius avoid it along the lines of some obscure tribe in Woop-Woop don’t do it as it is actually considered more cosmic to just sort of let dust evolve in its own style, dust being also an aspect of the cosmos…the particles that are us one moment are also the dust the next, quantum meta-physics and all…the Sagg once showered in a shithole on top of a barge in Borneo so is  not concerned with a mild “ring” around the bath now because that’s your shit. Aquarius can also mount a reasonable Zen argument on top of all this.

There you have it; Pisceans & Librans clean for leisure, to sacredly space out, sort the Feng and settle their minds.  Am I right or am I wrong?

DUDES THIS IS ME!  After the Full Moon in Scorpio.  Okay, it’s not but I feel like the Scorpion-Phoenix thingie is sure inked on somewhere, only invisibly.

I think i deserve an award for so authentically manifesting that Full Moon in Scorpio…It’s always a goodie but i did this one like an astrological textbook. Scorpio energy is sex, death, the occult & areas of life that are super-powerful but usually kept hidden. It’s also endings, beginnings & the metaphysical idea of Phoenixing & that death is but a night between two days. And it’s the guts to not only survive a hideous little something, but thrive. Many a mystery.

So my Friday afternoon (eve of the Full Moon, last night before it was actually exact) starts out tres innocently. Going to see the Piscean Beauty Fanatic before meeting the Leo-Rising-Rugger-Stud for dinner…Only HE had infuriated me earlier in the week by rocking up sans notice & when i trying to analyze someone’s Uranian transits & basically putting it upon me. Not until the Full Moon in Scorp did i realise how angry i was about it. THAT is so Scorp & Pluto…When you are sitting there having a manicure or something and suddenly it’s like ‘shit, that was wrong & I’m right’ kinda feeling.

Anyway, the taxi driver I got was an Aries and SO angry that I had to ask the Piscean Beauty Fanatic for Emergency Reiki. Luckily, she is very good it and she whacked in some other stuff as well. Deep witchery & re-aligning the subtle etheric bodies sort of thing. So feeling heaps better we then discuss Scorp subjects – not on purpose. We just suddenly realised that we were talking about terminations, prostitution & hymen restoration. As she’d gone to the hairdresser that day and suddenly realising that the teenage apprentice doing her hair was hitting on her for validation & guilt release over an operation she just had. Then this poor girl started asking about hymen restoration operations and/or opportunities to ‘work’. So…a very Scorpy chat from that.

As I was saying bye to the Piscean Beauty Fanatic, I start getting urgent texts from Leo-Rising-Rugger-Stud to the tune of “where are you?” and strident question marks…Each time i try to call him, he engaged calling me. So I finally get hold of him & it’s part Retro-Mercury/part him being a prick as in he hadn’t listened when i said that i would not be at my house at whatever time. Then i said well, I am going to meet the Scorpio Sex Academic as she just bk from Bali & has interesting tales to tell – come along or i can meet you in an hour. He hit the roof & sulked bigtime, so it ended.

Then I met the Scorpio Sex Academic &  i told her about the Leo-Rising-Rugger-Stud & she airily referred to it as an “uncluttering” but then said what about the Uranian – my other Aquarian? I said that I’d made a scene at the gym as he talking to some floozie that he may have (?) been seeing last year when i was seeing just him but that a bonkers blind date had sent me stampeding bk into the arms of the Uranian. It turns out that Scorpio Sex Academic KNEW of the Floozie & was able to text a Virgo Sexual Assualt Counsellor friend who knew EVERYTHING I would ever need to know AND was lovely AND she arrived in 15 minutes to brief me. How often do you get the info you need so quickly & with such heavenly synchronicity? And then of course the conversation dived real deep. The Scorpio Sex Academic had done ten days of Kundalini Yoga in a row so was (a) chanelling and (b) longing for several litres of chardonnay.

Sitting at this bar with the Full Moon shining down being briefed by my spy made me feel like Lucretia Borgia – it was excellent but the whole thing felt super crisp, clear & lucid. It was a combination of intrigue, confessional deep dialogue, dramatic endings & the metaphysical end of spirituality where it’s all about qi & energy.

My question; Is this how Scorpios exist ALL the time? And did anyone else have a similar Full Moon in Scorp?  Oh and I dumped the Uranian too. And ended the evening talking to a 55 year old punk-rocker and his Goth son. My phone broke so could not text the U – which is a lovely little blessing from Merc Retro…

UPDATE: AND – i forgot to mention another Scorp theme of that night – the eve of the Full Moon – We ran into an Aries Hypnotherapist acquaintance of mine who was about to meet her RSVP date for the night, a Gemini psychologist. So this poor guy arrives to find his blind date totally crashed by a bunch of women in deep convo mode.

Laurel Price

Citing your Sun, Moon, Venus and/or Rising Sign – what are your thoughts on Eye-Lashes…Are mascara ad claims a load of shit?

Is mascara toxic? Does the actual word ‘mascara’ really come from the ancient Arabic ‘mask’?  Is it better to just get lash tint? Would/could u get eyelash extensions OR risk (apparently) blindness by using one of the new swift-fix style druggie products for doll-like lashes in a few weeks?

Eyelash curlers – fabulosity incarnate or a tool of some anti-feminist devil? Are eyelashes the ‘curtains’ of the soul – brows being the frame and eyes the actual window – and if so, so what? Also, do you bat your lashes???

I do and yet i only realise I am doing it if a girlfriend points it out. It’s subliminal…And I love the blue-black lash tint but really, it only lasts a few weeks if that. Love eyelash curling, flip out with gunky mascara & don’t even enjoy the ‘ritual’ of applying it…

The Piscean Beauty Fanatic who is expert on everything from Khundalini Yoga to Botox says just olive oil EVERY night on the lashes makes them grow and it is obviously non-chemical/toxic but you have to do it for at least a month to see an effect.