I love the combo of shoulder pads AND hairy-fur-thing AND rosary beads AND exposed abs. I am thinking that this could only be Lower Gemini Delia Antwerp Aaars wanting to make a major impact at her 20 year school reunion. An 80s Yeti referencing Madonna in Desp-Seeking-Susan with the jewellery yet the abs very NOW and evidence of committment to Pilates etc. She would team it with the Designer Hair Skirt

Daily Mirror

Arieans a la Victoria Beckham are A-Type Alpha Peeps…even when doing something so classically carefree and child-like as swinging. Note her perfect form, core locked in, shoulders back and down, grip on the swing ropes not so firm as to engage the incorrect muscles on her forearms, legs lengthened but without the knees locking, eyes straight ahead, big toe in line with her hip-bones and her chin aligned a la the dictates of Pilates.

Yes, they are often perplexed by the inability of others to be so athletic and on-trend as the Aries. It infuriates them. But in softer,  more mellow and tenderly self-reflective moments, an Aries will acknowledge his or her superiority and forgive the foibles of others who may NOT have been the school champion of everything.

I know how genius a lot of you are at dream interps – help! Last night I dreamed – amongst other things – that i was leaving something mundane like a cafe or a Pilates class & walking through a beautiful park where there was a huge owl and a huge raven fighting. It was not like they were fighting to the death but more like really intense ritualised sparring & yet somehow i got between the two & was sort of trying to separate them.

Googling Owl & Raven symbolism comes up with shitloads of bible stuff (the crankier end of it – such as secret codes & that the owl, raven, hawk etc are all connected to the Goddess/considered unclean) &  I WAS thinking that maybe the Owl is like Saturn and the Raven Uranian…the Trickster….Thoughts???  And has anyone else had dreams lately of two entities fighting?  Or that symbolise Saturn-Uranus?

You lot responded so well to that last fitness post that I have created a whole new category for you. Group Gym Bunnies fascinate me, especially the ones who can keep so brilliantly in step with those heavily choreographed classes such as Body-Step et al.

I’m fit enough to do them but the last time i tried one, the instructor kept shrieking out things such as “GRAPEVINE” and “TRIPLE STAR KICK” and the entire rest of the class moved as one. Especially the person in front of me training to be a marching boy for gay Mardi Gras.

I mean, he had it all going on. For me, there is no faster way to feel like fuqing Goofy in a room full of hypertronic swans than to do one of those sorts of classes…Not all Group classes just the leaping around in synchroncity ones. But then again it may be some sort of Aqua-Rising rebellion against the machine trip…I want data for who loves/hates/loathes/likes/tolerates Gym Bunny Group Exercise classes. Note: Am excluding Pump & Pilates.

I nominate Leo for being the most likely to dress UP for a Gym Bunny Group Exercise class, I truly do. And, sigh, Leo as most likely to arrive early to grab the best spot right in front of the instructor whom Leo Gym Bunny will then suck up to like you would not believe. And attempt to score attention for some injury. I know three Leo Gym Bunnies. Not terribly well but I know that they ARE Leos and the rest is observation when I should probably have been bothering about my own form. But you know how Leos of a certain variety hog the light, yah?

Leo  Gym Bunny 1: Female. Dress designer. Walked with ostenatious wiggle of bottom that clearly not natural. Wore elaborate updo to even Gym Bunny Group Exercise. Spandex work-out gear. Very Jazzercise. Could seemingly not go more than a nanosecond without looking at self in mirror. I don’t like that habit some peeps have of diagnosing every third person with N.P.D. but she so fitted the criteria. The final irony? She had this massive crush on the absolutely gorgeous, utterly gay male instructor and she was convinced it was requited.

Leo Gym Bunny 2: Male. Wore work-out gear that generally even a far younger man and a sporting champion at that might consider a tad too revealing. I am talking midriff revealing t-shirts saying things like “amateur porn star”.  He was terrifying to stand near in Pump class because he would always try to stack on more weights than the instructor and then be at risk of toppling over into one the whole class long. At least guys doing this in the actual weights room are usually contained, no? Did not like women his own age because of their “baggage” – said his entire generation of women “too uptight”. I once witnessed a chat-up of his terminated by a lovely young lass who said “oh my GOD, you should meet my Mum, she loves that kinda music too…” Reeked of unidentifiable L’Homme De Pong.

Leo Gym Bunny 3: Female. An instructor who, okay, is real fit. But she combines her classes with a stream-of-consciousness rave re her own life and times. What she is going to do that evening, the music she likes, the last television show she watched, how much her ex-boyfriend loved her hair and that he used to be turned on when she let it down, that she has a firmer bottom than women half her age, that she was runner-up in a beauty contest but that she would have won if it hadn’t been rigged by the cousin of a jealous rival, that she had the idea for Pilates before Joseph Pilates, that she doesn’t believe in eating fruit for breakfast, that she thinks too tight trackpants leave one prone to yeast infections, that her sister who is not fit is jealous of her, that she does not like nor suit the colour blue and that it may be because that was her school uniform and that she went to a private school, as you can probably tell. From her enunciation, apparently.

And…this is AWESOME:

At the risk of sounding seriously bats – a High Functioning Flake for sure – i never went to Kundalini Yoga as threatened because they’d moved buildings and the Feng Shui of the new building is fuqed. There you go.  And even though half my friends SWEAR by Yoga – the yoga peeps at my gym give me the freaks. They’re a high-bummed & tight-lipped super-clique.

I think Yoga is kinda Scorpio/Plutonic whereas Pilates, which I love, seems more Aqua-Uranian. Proper Pilates has paraphernalia so it’s prob way more intricate & fussy than Yoga which could technically be done under a lotus tree in Woop-Woop.  Or on a chic, distressed 90′s style table in fishnet stockings, a la Madonna.

I think Martial Arts are obviously of Mars & weight-lifting seems Saturnine. Aqua anything – such as swimming -  is technically Neptunian but so is meditation & just ploughing up and down doing laps is way more Saturn too. Soooo, what’s your sign & preferred mode of exercise…?  Oh and I guess if you say nothing but lugging around crates of wine & walking to the patisserie then that would be Jolly Jupiter, our patron saint of righteous indulgence.

My God, GO the Virgo Moon. It never fails. I went from total Venusian-Pluto Mode (courtesy of The Uranian detouring back into La Vie en Moi all of a sudden) so that was fun & then straight into waking up at about 3AM this morning with a screechy Virgoan Must-Do-List that – I swear – included all these: eat more fibre, analyze ‘pond’ dream, suggest people in next block muzzle their dog, wear sunblock on decolletage, book electrician to fix light switch before Mercury Retrograde, research ‘chimera’, do Pilates PROPERLY.

What’s more, I  have tainted my immaculate pile of neatly aligned clean writing pads by scribbling this stuff all over them and with anarchic arrows + some doodling of pentagrams. I think the correct way to run this Moon (and associated situation of Mercury going in slo-mo getting set to turn Retro etc) is to let the Getting-It-All-Done laundry Qi of Virgo be comforting and a settling post all the dramas of last week. Yes?