astrology diets

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Astro-Query: Family Dinners

February 26, 2010 in Astro-Query by Mystic Medusa | 98 comments

Let’s do this thus: You have to say “I Am A Pisces…” Or whatever your sign is…”And I think family dinners are…”

Eg; “I am a Leo and I think family dinners are the ideal opportunity for me to show off my grasp of gourmet trends and fine wines.”

Or “I am an Aquarius and I think family dinners are hell on earth because they usually get in the way of my current regime.”

Or “I am a Taurus and I think family dinners are the common ground of decency and nourishment upon which our civilisation is based.”

Or “I am a Pisces and I think family dinners are fine if i can drink because I still haven’t gotten over the Festen style farce that were family dinners in my childhood.”

Or “I am a Libra and I think family dinners need a divine, radiant and inspirational table setting. Can there be candles? It’s all about the lighting.”

I am mostly just thinking of this because i keep reading articles (from the Pluto in Leo baby boomers?) linking the decline in families eating together at home to all sorts of dysfunction but barely anyone I know actually does it on a regular basis.

My Bum Post-Saturn

February 15, 2010 in Astro-Beauty by Mystic Medusa | 38 comments

This is more or less what my bum is going to look like when my interminable Saturn transit is finally done with in a few months. It feels like it has been going on forever but is actually only a few months. Saturn transits feel all-work and no-play (because they ARE, lol) but Holy Aphrodite, they get results.

There is NO other transit that makes you crave rocket, exercise and the measuring of everything from waist dimensions to unnecessary bank fees. Imagine if we could put Saturn in a bottle. Who wants to design the label?

It has to have the benefits: “Perform squats and lunges with relish, love your greens, loathe crisps, look forward to budgeting” as well as the Saturn side-effects: “irritability, some loss of sense of humour, over-consciousness of time.”

Who else is Saturn transitting? Enough peeps to create a secret password-only section where we can gleefully crap on about our sexy spreadsheeting skills and how much sexier rocket is without any ghastly “gourmet” additives that only cost $ and precious kilojoules? Bona-fide Capricorns get a lifelong membership. Because they’re ALWAYS under the rays of Saturn.

Saturn is also – I think – why so many Capricorns are horny non-stop. It’s because sex is (often) free. And it burns kilojoules.

Astro-Query: Elegant Eating Alone…Which Sign?

September 3, 2009 in Astro-Query by Mystic Medusa | 69 comments

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Wow, I was SO impressed when i saw this book, as in it is a cool concept & beautifully realised but my 2nd thought was eggplant? Are they all bullshitting?  Maybe it’s because my classic Eating Alone thing is more like this:

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Although, I can do an awesome “healthy” version which involves pan – not deep – frying, organic spuds, olive oil and garlic whatever…But you see, the author of this book – the Eggplant Lady, Jenni Ferrari-Adler – is a Gemini! Yes, i looked. And I have often noted that Geminis ARE the most elegant eaters, even when alone. They genuinely enjoy salads & left to their own devices, they will not – unlike our Virgo – fall upon a polygamist-Mormon-sized-family bar of chocolate with avid glee whilst chortling at crap tv and then indulge in an orgy of guilt shortly afterward.

So Gemini Eggplant Lady WOULD think wow – here i am, alone in the kitchen and hungry, I’ll do something chic with eggplant. Taurus, Aqua and Leo would carb up – though the Taurus and Leo would ensure it was something gourmet. Scorpio would prob stalk off to self-pleasure first and then figure out if still hungry later. Aries and Capricorn would fulfil what was nutritionally necessary to maintain life/their chic physique. Pisces would quickly have something angelic such as Tofu and THEN  hit on the jelly snakes or chardie. Sagg would have a smoothie and Libra would NOT eat alone. I am thinking that kataka would definitely cook themselves something “proper” but it would be a well-exercised mini-banquet for one such as Macaroni & Cheese.

Geminis, are you at ALL like Eggplant Lady?  Other peeps – am i right or am i wrong?

Oh and Aquarius has secret bread binges, I think. Stoneground, sourdough or based on ancient grains that make some tribe live for several thousand years but bread nonetheless. And then they flip as they’re so anti-wheat and it sedates them so that they can’t conspiracy-theorise straight.

Saturn in Virgo & Orthorexia Nervosa

August 18, 2009 in Astro-Passages by Mystic Medusa | 30 comments

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A rise in so-called Orthorexia Nervosa seems to totally coincide with Saturn-in-Virgo…Since September 2007…

“…An obsession with eating healthily could in fact be bad for your health, scientists warn. Those who deny themselves entire food groups or worry too much about the ‘purity’ of their meals are risking their mental and physical wellbeing. Experts have reported a rise in such extreme behaviour, known as orthorexia nervosa. Sufferers or orthorexia nervosa tend to be over 30, middle-class and well-educated.While anorexia patients restrict the quantity of the food they eat, sufferers of orthorexia, named after the Greek for ‘right or true’, fixate on quality…

“The ‘rules’ vary from person to person, but the drive to eat only the healthiest foods can lead to sugar, salt, caffeine, alcohol, wheat, gluten, yeast, soya, corn and dairy foods being eliminated from the diet….Foods tainted by pesticides or that contain artificial additives such as MSG are often also ditched. One orthorexic is reputed to eat only yellow foods. While such habits may seem quirky, they can have a serious effect on health.

Cutting out entire food groups can leave sufferers malnourished, while rigid rules can make eating out impossible, putting a huge strain on friendships and relationships. Ursula Philpot, chairman of the British Dietetic Association’s mental health group, said: ‘I am definitely seeing significantly more orthorexics than just a few years ago….”

More in the Daily Mail here

Okay it’s SO Saturn in Virgo but isn’t msg like poison? And what is the ‘rexia’ for when people eat junk food all the time? This is making my Mars-Pluto-Uranus in Virgo feel defensive. And eating only Yellow foods??? I thought it was purple foods that we were meant to eat more of; blueberries, purple cabbage…Infuriatingly, i feel heaps better off wheat & dairy, sugar, salt & caffeine…most people do – isn’t that why health farms don’t feature them…And it IS annoying as i would much rather thrive on a modified mediterranean diet of non-stop pasta & wine et al. One almost wonders if labelling people who are careful re what they eat as orthorexics is a way of propping up a – i don’t know – industrial sugar cabal or something. And all the discrediting of The Gwyneth - is Mars Uranus making me conspiracy theorise?

Saturn in Libra coming soon & I think it will coincide with a rise in arranged marriages, relationship arrangements & new fangled contracts, marriage sabbaticals, polyamory and heavily negotiated deals to better delineate the nexus of love, sex, money, time, desirability and convenience.

Astro-Gwyneth & Defending GOOP

July 28, 2009 in Celeb Fluffery by Mystic Medusa | 45 comments

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I’m not madly pro nor anti Gwyneth & don’t mind GOOP, her lifestyle tips site & newsletter. I love reading the detox articles, probably as she and I both have Mars in Virgo and that’s an astr0-signature for getting excited over the prospect of a good cleanse.

Mars-in-Virgo peeps enjoy reading about how they’re gonna cleanse the hell out of their over-yeasty intestines and the strange, scary food additives so unable to be metabolised that they have to be purged. And secretly, Mars-in-Virgo likes to think about attaining some other-worldly alien standard of perfection.

But I am interested in why, when she could be leading a perfectly cool acclaimed artist/sleb/mother etc life, she became so intent upon sharing her fashion, cooking, exercise, fasting etc tips with the whole world??? I do think it’s partly a good strong Mars in Virgo effort to raise the consciousness of people by sharing info from her own personal gurus. People bitch about her & say that her recommendations are elite but i feel she’s actually trying to glean the info from her team & pass it onto people who may never see a nutritionist in their whole life & certainly not a Park Avenue one, or whomever the Gwyneth patronises.

And, of all the things in the world worth slagging off, is The Gwyneth/GOOP really a major candidate??? Plus maybe it’s my Moon in Libra but i don’t care how fake/airbrushed the above image is, her skin and hair look amazing. It’s like she’s actually the Empress of Librans.

The GOOP thing coincided with Saturn into her totally crowded 7th house. That’s right. Her house of love is completely packed with planets…She likes/needs/wants to be in a relationship. It’s almost like one person is not enough – very Libran – but she’s not polyamorous & so she’s defining (Saturn) a relationship (7th House) with the world…

She has Sun conjunct Pluto natally so that’s a powerhouse of a woman – GOOP is just the start. The Gwyneth is a Plutonian. She’ll start something in the next few years, prob based on her macrobiotic/organic etc beliefs and it will be society-altering. Pluto is squaring this natal Sun-Pluto conjunction so there you  go. And she’ll attract the usual howling down from ye olde hat commentators defending their archaic beliefs.  Pluto is not only squaring her Sun for the next few years, it’s on her Jupiter in the 10th house – Brilliant Career & public profile – so since early 2008 she would have felt an intense desire to transform her public persona to be a more authentic and useful expression of whom she is. And Jupiter – helping the masses!

Plus – she has Uranus conjunct Ceres so there’s an innovative style of nurturing right there…I think The Gwyneth is genius…

SEE ALSO: MOON IN LEO MY ONE NIGHT ON THE GWYNETH DIET

Astro-Beauty; Legs & Your Past Lives

June 22, 2009 in Astro-Beauty by Mystic Medusa | 25 comments

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A Sagittarius Trying To Be Inscrutable

Sagittarians, i.m.o. always seem to have the best legs of the Zodiac & infuriatingly effortlessly so. Though maybe it’s because they are so active & stride around the world doing athletic things. Not so effortless after all.

Geminis come 2nd as they tend to be able to keep a kind of gamine thing going on…Librans do well with legs too though that’s more of a diligence a la Pilates, massage & cream.

Virgoans are third-equal tie with Libra by dint of being able to bloody well stick with those no-caffeine-no-wheat-no-diary gorgeous legs reccies.

Legs tips please…I think probably the only thing i ever feel nostalgic about being really super-young is that spontaneously casually slithering into a mini-skirt and strutting out the door sensation. It’s heaven.

Leg tips; It totally hurts but doing the ’stretching out the ilio-tibial muscle on a roller’ seems to iron out dimples on the side of the legs & it’s like a good pain + amazing for suppleness.

I would adore to be convinced otherwise but i think cellulite creams don’t particularly work (?) apart from the aromatherapy oils with ingredients such as juniper & cypress.

Acupuncturists can get rid of little capillary-vein things & their cupping is amazing for “stagnant” qi in the legs. Rolfing, Myo-Fascial massage and other deep tissue stuff are all good…

And – i once read this in a (I think) Denise Linn book – any stubborn fat or cellulite on the thighs is stored anger re relationships in past lives.

O.m.g. So there is a really good batso mugwort-dreaming target for a quiet night. You go into your dreamworld, totally willing to confront and work through past life lovers who gave you the shits & you wake up with smooth thighs.

Yes! I am thinking that processed foods such as pastries are prob also a bit to blame.

Saturn In Virgo & Wheat Sensitivity

May 20, 2009 in Astro-Passages, Metaphysical Quirks, Planets by Mystic Medusa | 33 comments

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Yes,  I do live in an area populated by the Wankerati & so I know it’s easy to make fun of this but I don’t care. I am convinced that the whole sensitive-to-wheat thing has been gaining pace since Saturn went into Virgo. More cafes have gluten-free or at least wheat free offerings & more peeps i meet or read about (Tilda Swinton, most recently) – who are not coeliac – say they have stopped wheat as it bloats them/drugs them/makes them flatulent etc. And that’s before you even get onto the scary wheat shite; the DAY Saturn went into Virgo, this lady in a health food shop showed me a photo of a baguette lovers intestines that looked like triffids had taken over.

Anyway, Virgo is symbolically wheat & ye olde fashioned pics of the sign oft depict the maiden with the wheat sheaves to show wholesomeness & purity. Virgo is also about digestion – sometimes it seems as if half of our official food is apparently indigestible. And Saturn in Virgo seems to have raised awareness of the whole food thing to a whole new level…Even just a few years ago, peeps with intolerances or preferences were oft sneered whereas now it’s way more  normalised, except perhaps amongst the hardcore gourmet set.

Your Moon & planets in Virgo are most likely to affect all this – citing your Moon and/or Virgoan influences or anything you like really, are you a high-qi & delicately calibrated macrobiotic type, for the most part? Or do you cheerfully eat a baguette for brek with whatever the hell you want on it and look amazing regardless? If wheat is such a sophoric why are peeps permitted to drive after eating toast or pasta????

Moon in Leo: My One Night On The Gwyneth Diet

January 12, 2009 in Astro-Cliches, Celeb Fluffery, Metaphysical Quirks by Mystic Medusa | 16 comments

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I have always loved how Gwyneth embodies Libra, so much so that i hesitate to look at her chart details, just in case some thing messily Scorpionic mucks up the pure symmetry of Libra. I love how in interviews she never tries to get down with the peeps. She just seems to sit there, on an invisible throne, sending out blinding beams of golden light with every flick of her straightened hair. Sort of like a cross between Galadriel and one of the Plastics from Mean Girls.

Anyway, I was stuffing around reading her latest lifestyle advice, a detox thingie & decided to do just one of the tips from it. I mean, yes, i do most of the rest of it already…and everyone knows that chips are bad + I love organic food. But this said to have a few spoons of olive oil before bed, to get the liver working harder, to create bile. I  have heard this before, from the Tantric Scorpio & other macrobiotic types I know. Plus eavesdropping on the yoga peeps at my gym, they barely let a week go by sans doing some sort of extreme cleanse.

So i did it and was woken up at 2am by a giant lizard in my bedroom. Okay, it was a nightmare, but still. It  has since been suggested to me by my Piscean Kickboxing Instructor that sinking a bottle of wine before I go to bed would be a more pleasant and just as effective method of making my liver work harder.

Happy Moon in Leo. Honour thy Hair, thy Art & thy Ego. Today’s motto: Noblesse Oblige

See Also: Astro-Gwyneth & Defending GOOP