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The Pluto In Capricorn Handbag

February 15, 2010 in Astro-Fashion by Mystic Medusa | 109 comments

This is the new Louis Vuitton Raindrop Besace – designed by Marc Jacobs and retailing for about $2000 USD.

Yes, it’s a.k.a the Trashbag or whatever.

Apart from Lower Gemini Delia Antwerp Aaars who would bung this thing around? I mean, really.

The real Louis Vuitton was born on August 4 1821. That’s right. He was a LEO. Think about it. A Leo. He is probably reincarnating in a towering rage right about now.

Positive Points:  You could have a pen leakage or spill red wine on this thing and it would be fine. It is Vegan. Sort of. Apart from the handles.

Negative Points: If Freud was correct (and he probably was not, so don’t flip) and the handbag is symbolic of the bearer’s vagina, then this large, floopy trashbag is COMPLETELY the wrong message.  It is hideous. It is a fad. Cats would come up and tear at it, hoping to find stinking chicken scraps. I need to stop with the negative points already or else my Mars in Virgo could go on for hours with this.

Is this complete dissing from Marc Jacobs, a man with a tatt of Spongebob for fuq’s sake??? Or an immensely clever reference to Pluto in Capricorn?

When Saturn Is In Libra, Even Your Cat Will Be Haute-Fash

October 19, 2009 in Astro Gaga by Mystic Medusa | 42 comments

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When Saturn is in Libra (exalted and all, see previous Saturn in Libra raves) even your Cat will be Haute-fashionable…It should surely signal a new design aesthetic, no?  Cat-Wear by United Bamboo.  These felines look a bit like they’re bombed out on Catnip & eagerly anticipating the moment they can wriggle out of their outfits and hook into some sardines.

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Mercury Retrograde Must-Dos

September 7, 2009 in Astro-Passages by Mystic Medusa | 32 comments

RZ002554Jane Fonda

As well as all the obvious Mercury Retrograde precautions (communications, triple checking arrangements, engaging patience, not signing contracts, buying big stuff) you ideally have Zen-Sloth time each day or productive pottering as it is then that the emo ‘aha’ moments and genius eureka flashes alight. You could argue that is true of any old week but it’s especially the case when Mercury is Retrograde in Libra…And due to the positioning of Mars, watch as communicative mishaps & glitches rip the friendly veneer off some relationships…NOT if they’re fine but where there lurks unspoken hostility et al.

The Pope Has a LEO Private Secretary

July 20, 2009 in Metaphysical Quirks by Mystic Medusa | No comments

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Not only does the Pope, an Aries,  have his house in Germany guarded by a statue of the cat goddess Bast – okay, i made that up but it’s guarded by a CAT statue – He has a Leo private secretary, George Ganswein.  GG  is – like many a Leo – amazingly easy on the eye…According to his Wikipedia entry the Leo devotes his spare time to tennis, skiing and flying aeroplanes.

Dark Mooned

May 19, 2009 in Astro-Passages, Moons, Planets by Mystic Medusa | 10 comments

eduoard-plugeon

Just a few more days of this Dark Moon until the glorious New Moon in Gem AND a Jupiter Chiron conjunction kicks off the Auspicious Aqua Weirding on Sunday…Actually the Jupiter-Chiron conjunction (magical healing, innovative expansion, optimistic synchronicity) is just before the New Moon but still…

Soon the Dark Moon wanes into Aries and meets Mars – that’s when we have to be careful. Ramzilla energy can tend to, um, i don’t want to use a dodgy metaphor…move too hastily. And that’s the Weds-Thurs vibe…No-one acts/initiates/goes over the top on a Dark Moon with Mercury Retrograde squaring everything in sight but an egomaniacal, throbbing Aries Moon nearing Mars will so inspire impulse.

Hopefully La Temperanza will be a helpful muse in this regard. And, if you’re feeling a bit like the girl with her cat above, take heart, rest & be of good cheer as feeling a bit low, over-whelmed et al in the Dark Moon is considered normal. Natural, even.

Astro-Sun-Sign Query Du Jour

April 29, 2009 in Astro-Query by Mystic Medusa | 62 comments

cat_vs_dogLolcats

Thank heavens the Mars-Pluto Square passed or even THIS most trivial of subjects would have become heated…

There is an old astro-cliche (well, I read it once) that Fire & Air signs prefer Dogs whilst the Earth & Water signs are more Cat People. Leaving aside the obvious goes one could have at both creatures/their owners, are you a Cat, Dog or neither-of-the-above person. Or are you thinking that the G.F.C/Pluto in Cap might take out the pet economy to some degree? And which sign is most likely to get inappropriately drippy/obsessive over their animal?

Personally, I have a fantasy border collie or wolf in grandiose moments but i.r.l. Moon-in-Libra does non hang around picking up dog shit & Mars in Virgo does not leave it on the street EVER. So, cats & some fairly individuated looking goldfish in a pond for the Feng Shui. If Yeats is correct the cat is the visible soul of the household, then we are so bats.  I find it weird when these apparently kindly people are shown on tv or whatevs, crooning at their beloved budgie but they have it in a CAGE.

So, you?

LOL-Speak-Astro

March 3, 2009 in Astro-Passages, Full Moons, Metaphysical Quirks by Mystic Medusa | 71 comments

O HAI – diz iz me, being kozmik agin; thinking wot 2 tell u about za transhit of MARZ so u stopz complaynz.

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Dat Moon Fulled 4 nxt weak iz tard. Iz signed by Virgin wit Time God Saturn opposite da Christ-Fish Sun and UR-anus. AWL yr shitt since last Sept & feb bk so youse wanna screem ‘iz u 4 real?!’ at da shit but youse betta awf karm and koool. Sum fuqer peep – u know whu – willz tryz it on soz u willz wanna r.s.v.p. like dis laydee (below) a la luna NOIRE youse git courtesy pass 2 stupid hell bluddy pmt etc:

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BUTT u r SO wize, sofisicated n knowing iz da Moon Fulled + I haz worned youse – zat u r more like Kuan Yin – Goddezz of Compassion, Mercee & Heavenly Rebelyish wizdom…at za veddy leest u shudder up + even tho youse drunk u stragtegic wiz peeps whuse luv u. Or like za munk, happy cum no shit. BIGG moon – choice iz yrs.

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LOlspeak

I LOVE LOL-speak but this is the first & last LOL-astro i am doing. It’s TOO silly and TOO much fun…So habit forming. I think LOL Vogue is one of the most fantastic translation features ever though.

Two Friday 13ths In A Row

February 12, 2009 in Metaphysical Quirks by Mystic Medusa | 21 comments

freya-copy2 Elspeth Tremblay

Yes it’s Friday 13 tomorrow and then the next 13th (March) is a Friday as well. But it’s auspicious!

Like all of the days of our week, Friday is named after a Norse Deity – Friday a.k.a Freya the Norse Goddess of Love. Their Venus. Note that the French word for Friday is Vendredi, day of Venus.  In India, it is Shukrava, named after the Sanskrit love goddess Shukra.

Many an ancient Christian shunned the day of Venus/Ishtar etc as they presumably thought her conduct far too frivolous & sensual. The 13 pissed them off because it is the actual number of lunar months in a year, yet another reminder of pre-patriarchal religion.  So Friday the 13th was just O.T.T. for a certain mindset. And Freya also rode in a chariot drawn by black cats.

LOLcats Do The Bible

January 30, 2009 in Astro-Animals, Astro-Passages, Metaphysical Quirks by Mystic Medusa | 18 comments

Just to flow with the last days of this Mercurial Bats in Aquarius. It’s tacky, yah, but i do like LOLcats when in a certain mood & Jezebel’s LOL-Vogue is ditto hysterical…But now the BIBLE has been translated into LOLCats. Complete with a deity called Ceiling Cat.  Here is LOLcats Genesis

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Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.

Zen Hippy Full Moon In Cancer

January 11, 2009 in Astro-Cliches, Astro-Passages, Full Moons by Mystic Medusa | 13 comments

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So, as I suspected, the Cancerian Full Moon bought me out in full Zen-Noire-Hippy mode, with the usual Crab Moon carbophilia…I am talking:

* New appreciation of the daffier herbal teas, such as the dandelion & burdock combo, hippy insights gleaned from watering garden & feeling sense of communion with all botanical life. Especially the parsely. eg; how plants thrive depending on the quality of the soil & the nurturing, the heat, the light blah de blah, the desire to cook something ‘properly’ and musing upon lentils + the genius of sprouting, lecture-nurturing peeps re vitamins/water etc, pondering making a patchwork quilt for five seconds, patchouli oil as (temporary) signature scent, thinking that the cats are resonating at a higher viber than usual & buying them extravagant fish to thank them for being so feline, doing laundry as mystical ritual,  decided to get more serious about my chamomile lawn as chamomile most likely sacred, trying to have ‘deep’ conversations re feelings with children, whom sensing sentiment immediately attempt to alchemise the moment into retail purchases, to ensure their sense of security remains intact.

Which is also tres Crab moon. The comforting new nightgown, the freshly washed pillowcases, a fridge full of actual food as opposed to the latest Aquarian vitamins/supplements regime. During such a benevolently aspected Full Moon in the sign of Gaia, it’s naturally so much easier to feel deep emotions & sit comfortably with them. Ditto feeling a connection to Terra. Live it up with the Zen-Noire-Hippy awareness vibe guys because Jupiter in Aquarius is moving toward the North Node & things are about to get a lot more expansively weirder. Positive. But still weird. This Moon is the last chance to look back fondly & with a goobly counsellory persective/sentimental smirk of understanding for a while.