Astro-Poll

I think Sagg would be the BEST sign to go camping with…Perpetually cheery, fab sense of direction and hard to phase.

Aries is also upbeat but wrecks it by wanting to pitch the tent on the highest peak visible and screaming ‘come on slackers’ at the fellow campers. But Aries will erect a sodding tent in the middle of a cyclone and heaven help any wild animal who gets between an Aries and a barbecue.

Taurus brings along one of those structured tents with carpets, ovens and a bar fridge. Which is great except it means Taurus requires staff and or “helpers.” There is also the risk of a fight when peeps with less salubrious facilities because they’re keeping-it-real try to sneak into Tent-Taurus for a quick toblerone cocktail. No-no-no.

Gemini & Pisces will have sat-nav, i-Pod and an internet connection for keeping in touch with where it’s at. They’ll talk a good game about being At One with nature and foraging for strange berries that they intend to make into ‘bush tucker’ but go totally off the whole idea about a third of the way into it. They need their fellow campers to be either great conversationalists or someone they fancy. They quite like it if they can hear the comforting sound of a busy road in the distance but will totally get out of any camping chores so that they can talk shit and go skinny-dipping.

Cancerians & Scorps will either not go at ALL or they will go in hardcore, with Swiss survival knives, special sleeping bags, manuals, a determination to actually hunt something/find treasure/walk 1000k in one day and probably some psych issues to work through. There will be deep chats around the fire at night and sensual appreciation of the stars, night-time noise etc. That’s even as Gem & Pisces lie gibbering in their tents, screaming at every squawk from an animal.

Leo & Libra will set out in the latest camping fashion, outdoorsy scents and with a muslin tent, thinking of Out Of Africa scenarios. Silver backed hairbrushes, 800 thread count organic sheets and bush-wattle body lotions are hard to lug around on long treks to camping grounds but they will do it. There may be a dramatic scene once either of them realises that the hard-core Scorp running the show is actually arcing up for a fistfight with the Aries, that there is a Pisces or Aquarius bitching because their tentmate won’t point the tent in the right direction for Feng Shui, due to the blizzard AND that there are  no special dietary requirements taken into account.

Aquarius would want to to whacked out rituals, wildcrafting, nude bushwalking and maybe add the mental mushrooms they foraged into the Arieans barbecue. Virgo and Capricorn would not even GO on this trip without the perameters being carefully delineated and agreed on (legally binding) beforehand. It’s too unstructured…