Astro-Fitness

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Astro-Fitness: Who Does The Gadgets?

August 27, 2009 in Astro-Fitness by Mystic Medusa | 54 comments

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My friend Aqua-Girl was really amazed the other night (and she is reasonably  unshockable) when i said i did not have scales. SHE has a full body scan fat monitor device that measures bone density, fat percentage, metabolic age, weight and a whole pile of other things. It is basically a computer in her bathroom and the technology is such that it would have been impossible a few years ago. It can wirelessly send info to her scheduler online, instruct her in how many kilojoules she requires that day & talk to her heart  monitor wristwatch.

I asked, for a joke, if it could connect with her Lucid Dreaming REM Goggles & she looked instantly alert & then made several notes in her iPhone (which also connects with the Heart Monitor & bathroom bone scanner) which i presume have something to do with her intent to somehow hot-wire the lucid dreaming goggles up to the other Personal Wellness Devices.

Oh and while we are on gadgets, she also has some brand of Swedish personal massager (am not going to see V word in case get blocked by some peeps with work browser thingies) that is so technologically advanced that it bought her to tears (of joy) the first time she used it. Aqua-Girl IS a multiple-Conjunct Aquarius – Sun, Mercury, Venus and Ascendent all trined by Pluto in Libra. But still…is this an Aquarian thing?

Qi & Tai Chi

August 18, 2009 in Astro-Fitness, Metaphysical Quirks by Mystic Medusa | 37 comments

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Am reading this fascinating book…Obviously i love Feng Shui & Acupuncture -both work with enhancing Qi, one in the home & one in your body/soul matrix – but this is making me re-think Tai Chi. It used to always bore me. Does anyone practice Tai Chi or Qi-Gong???  Of course Qi is just the Chinese word for it. It’s also Prana & vital force…loads of different terms for It.

“Even now the stars, the planets, the elements, the creatures and ourselves; all of these move within and are penetrated and influenced by that original field of Qi. Qi is what causes the planets to maintain their orbits around the sun. It is the Qi that causes each snowflake to be unique and the Qi that shifts the moon  phases and the tides. Qi sustains our health and Qi si the force behind intelligence and emotions. Qi is the vitality that causes the evolution of a tiny embyro of dividing cells to mature into a full size human. The longing of the Qi of the earth to reach up and merge with the Qi of heaven drives a small sprout out of the seed  – upaward in spite of the force of gravity-to become a giant tree. Qi is known from the expressions that it embodies: the process of healing, the creativity that generates poetry and art; the transformation of tadpoles into frogs and caterpilars into butterflies. Qi is life force, energy and consciousness – it is the essence behind all effects, influences and events as well as all elements, materials and objects.”

So, basically, it is magic – no?

Astro-Fitness; Motivation

August 5, 2009 in Astro-Cliches, Astro-Fitness by Mystic Medusa | 62 comments

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Everyone knows that you gotta swim, do gym, do something. Different signs have different methods of motivating themselves…Aries are naturally insanely competitive so they like an impossible goal. eg; They are in training to sprint up the Amundsen Glacier.

Leos work on vanity. If there is a television appearance or an event in which they need to be camera-ready, goodbye to their Wine-Onanist Monthly membership & HELLO Dr Atkins. They don’t care if their breath gets smelly as their bodyguards will keep other peeps at a distance. Theoretically.

Geminis like gimmicks so if it’s a Cycle class with simulated anti-gravity & new beats by some dj they gather is current, they’re there.

Taureans do it with dogged and implacable willpower, knowing that the tranquility and the high they get later is worth it. Exercise grounds them.  Librans think symmetry and balance, yin and yang. Too much Yin (potatoes, couch) means they need Yang (movement, gym). They are naturals at Pilates…

Cancerians like body building because it helps them build a symbolic ’shell’ around their sensitive innards & they like to feel they belong at their place of exercise. So they feel emotionally drawn to it, at best. Virgoans guilt themselves into it. If you think a Virgo is mean to YOU, you should hear their self-talk.

Scorpios and Aquarians are similar in that they go between obsessive fads – they are either doing nothing & will crap on about the community-building benefits of their daily pub-lunch, if you let them OR they’re compulsively keeping kilojoule journals and ordering longevity vitamins from Dr Thing off the net.

Capricorns are canny, as we know, so they are the most likely to have a sensible and coherent actual plan – nothing over the top but a scheme to keep their physique chic & functional as they climb inextricably to the top. Sagittarians are the peeps u see working out in their jeans, because they were just passing by and suddenly felt like a bit of a workout – they’re the naturals of the Zodiac, fighting, rowing,  horseriding, tribal dancing – they like to move.

Pisceans need a gym crush to get themselves there or else they trick themselves- saying they will just turn up and worry about it then. Once there, of course, they think they may as well do a proper workout. They also like the idea of racking up “credits” for later hypothetical decadence.

You can also read through these & apply it to your Mars sign OR disagree!

Astro-TrendWatch

July 9, 2009 in Astro TrendWatch, Astro-Fitness by Mystic Medusa | 40 comments

chanelpaperbagJak & Jil

* A D.I.Y. Chanel Paper Bag, as seen at the Milan Fashion Fair or something – that is SO achingly Pluto in Cap…The Craft edge, the ironic homage to a luxury brand. Are the days of mag headlines/coverlines a la “Must-Haves” or “You’ve Gotta Have It” or “To Die For” gone forever? The word luxury means “of the light” – is it being redefined? Uranus is heading into Aries soon – super D.I.Y. – and the last time Uranus was there, this was written - still SO relevant & inspirational…

* The Sagg Kickboxer says the Fitness Industry, as opposed to most others, is UP 30% this year. Why? People cannot afford to be hungover and non-alert so they relax via endorphins from exercise as opposed to the pub? Survival of the fittest? They are so stressed they need to go and bash up a boxing bag to feel okay?  Guilt/Motivation from Saturn in health-aware Virgo?

* I always knew those Easter Island statues (soz, Rapanui) were hiding something with that inscrutable smirk of theirs. And now it seems that the SOIL on the place harbours a potential life-extension miracle substance which, if it pans out, means that soon 120 will be the new 80. Or something. Will this mean peeps such as Madonna will turn their attention to this area? Would an Easter Island/Rapanui Mud Pack Masque be the go?

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* The Solar Eclipse Astro-Queries are coming along nicely – it is SO much more fun for me to get the charts already sent…I just open & gaze at the patterns. Bliss. I am aiming to have them all out by Monday afternoon Sydney timezone…So that you have time to prep. If you are not getting one, then there is the very simple version of how to prep for the Solar Eclipse on July 21/22…Before then, get rid of all THIS:

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Astro-Beauty: Raw Food & Polyphasics

July 7, 2009 in Astro-Beauty, Astro-Cliches, Astro-Fitness by Mystic Medusa | 29 comments

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Despite the Eclipse, my friend Aqua-Girl is loving her Polyphasic Sleep Cycling.  Appropriately, for a Full Moon in Capricorn, she says sleeping just a few hours a day has made her way more productive but with a few unexpected side effects.

(1) She only likes Raw Food now. (2) She has become obsessed with make-up in a way that she has never experienced in her life before. In one week of raw foods and polyphasic sleep cycling, she is like a devotee of extreme cosmetics, avidly seeking the advice of cosmetics professionals & trying on complicated but genius LOOKS.

Re the Raw Food thing – whenever i try it, i HATE it as I have genetics (German) that predispose me to potatoes & bread but i LOOK amazing on it. It’s unreal and a scene unto itself. Just like polyphasic sleep cycling.I got a raw food cookbook once that enslaved me with its evolutionary zeal and claims until i realised that to make half the stuff in there, i needed some sort of $1000 magic zilcher thing.

Raw Food does seem very Aqua & though it has been around since the 1930s – at least – when a Taurean nutritionist named Gaylord Hauser had Hollywood stars in thrall to  his eating, exercise & skincare regimes. Okay, so my theory is that Aquarius/11th House/Uranian types are way more likely to experiment with their food & sleep cycles. My Aquarius father was constantly tinkering with time and nutritional concepts.

Next to Aquarius would be Scorpio? Scorps are big into the macrobiotic, Tantric and kundalini end of things, which they then compensate with the occasional Neptunian binge-up of low-Qi toxins. And then, I think, Virgo. They’re not so bats or free-form as Aquarius or Aqua Types though. Virgo will pick one dictate – one nutritional school and follow it for a bit. Whereas Aqua alters the thing according to whim. Scorp wins for sheer bravery – nobody out-does Scorp at purgings, detoxings & committment.

Gemini + Sagg will eat weird & ethnic food but A.D.D. doesn’t allow for strange regimes. Aries thinks they’re inane. Taureans, Leo & Cancerians are too gourmet to give anything up. Librans & Pisceans will go on a regime for the sake of love or beauty but their heart is  not really in it & they’re far more likely to be devoted to some skin-care ritual though they DO become vitamin-addicts IF there is an anti-aging or sex angle.

Your thoughts?

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Astro-Beauty: What Sign Is This Designer?

July 3, 2009 in Astro-Beauty, Astro-Fitness by Mystic Medusa | 57 comments

00360mI love that Rick Owens has hair extensions and stack boots & says he’s inspired by things such as “fog” “Barbara Streisand” and “K.I.S.S.”  And he’s quotable too:

“Working out is the the modern couture. No outfit is going to make you look or feel as good as having a fit body. Buy less clothes and go to the gym instead. Trying to talk with your clothes is passive-aggressive….Isn’t it more chic to be free?”

But what sign is the guy? All i can find online is that he is born in 1962…He vibes very Air so maybe a Libra, Aqua or Gemini – he could be a Scorpio with Aqua Rising? There was actually a whole lot of multiple conjunct Aquarians born in 1962. Maybe he is one of them??  And any thoughts on his philosophy?

Astro-Fitness: Gym Bunnies Group Exercise?

June 19, 2009 in Astro-Fitness by Mystic Medusa | 23 comments

fab_4020Steven Meisel

You lot responded so well to that last fitness post that I have created a whole new category for you. Group Gym Bunnies fascinate me, especially the ones who can keep so brilliantly in step with those heavily choreographed classes such as Body-Step et al.

I’m fit enough to do them but the last time i tried one, the instructor kept shrieking out things such as “GRAPEVINE” and “TRIPLE STAR KICK” and the entire rest of the class moved as one. Especially the person in front of me training to be a marching boy for gay Mardi Gras.

I mean, he had it all going on. For me, there is no faster way to feel like fuqing Goofy in a room full of hypertronic swans than to do one of those sorts of classes…Not all Group classes just the leaping around in synchroncity ones. But then again it may be some sort of Aqua-Rising rebellion against the machine trip…I want data for who loves/hates/loathes/likes/tolerates Gym Bunny Group Exercise classes. Note: Am excluding Pump & Pilates.

I nominate Leo for being the most likely to dress UP for a Gym Bunny Group Exercise class, I truly do. And, sigh, Leo as most likely to arrive early to grab the best spot right in front of the instructor whom Leo Gym Bunny will then suck up to like you would not believe. And attempt to score attention for some injury. I know three Leo Gym Bunnies. Not terribly well but I know that they ARE Leos and the rest is observation when I should probably have been bothering about my own form. But you know how Leos of a certain variety hog the light, yah?

Leo  Gym Bunny 1: Female. Dress designer. Walked with ostenatious wiggle of bottom that clearly not natural. Wore elaborate updo to even Gym Bunny Group Exercise. Spandex work-out gear. Very Jazzercise. Could seemingly not go more than a nanosecond without looking at self in mirror. I don’t like that habit some peeps have of diagnosing every third person with N.P.D. but she so fitted the criteria. The final irony? She had this massive crush on the absolutely gorgeous, utterly gay male instructor and she was convinced it was requited.

Leo Gym Bunny 2: Male. Wore work-out gear that generally even a far younger man and a sporting champion at that might consider a tad too revealing. I am talking midriff revealing t-shirts saying things like “amateur porn star”.  He was terrifying to stand near in Pump class because he would always try to stack on more weights than the instructor and then be at risk of toppling over into one the whole class long. At least guys doing this in the actual weights room are usually contained, no? Did not like women his own age because of their “baggage” – said his entire generation of women “too uptight”. I once witnessed a chat-up of his terminated by a lovely young lass who said “oh my GOD, you should meet my Mum, she loves that kinda music too…” Reeked of unidentifiable L’Homme De Pong.

Leo Gym Bunny 3: Female. An instructor who, okay, is real fit. But she combines her classes with a stream-of-consciousness rave re her own life and times. What she is going to do that evening, the music she likes, the last television show she watched, how much her ex-boyfriend loved her hair and that he used to be turned on when she let it down, that she has a firmer bottom than women half her age, that she was runner-up in a beauty contest but that she would have won if it hadn’t been rigged by the cousin of a jealous rival, that she had the idea for Pilates before Joseph Pilates, that she doesn’t believe in eating fruit for breakfast, that she thinks too tight trackpants leave one prone to yeast infections, that her sister who is not fit is jealous of her, that she does not like nor suit the colour blue and that it may be because that was her school uniform and that she went to a private school, as you can probably tell. From her enunciation, apparently.

And…this is AWESOME:

Does Saturn In Virgo Make For Wagonistas?

February 6, 2009 in Astro-Fitness, Astro-Passages by Mystic Medusa | 43 comments

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Hygieia, the Greek Goddess of Health – hence “hygiene” – as seen by Gustav Klimt

Saturn is the planet of boundaries, self-control & brute pragmatism. Virgo is the sign of Health & Efficiency, amongst many other things. But for the sake of this post, let’s just see Virgo as abstinent and wanting to be in control, orderly. I’ve totally noticed the Wagonista trend taking off lately. The word was first coined, I think, in this Times article back in 2004 but anecdotally, I think it’s upping.

There was last year’s Dry July charity abstinence bender (I tried but that July turned out to be the wettest on record – I blame The Uranian, a bit) and then now FebFast.  My Piscean Actress friend and I are abstaining for reasons of vanity & then there is the revolting anti-alcohol ad targetting women who don’t usually cane it but definitely like to relax via guzzling several dozen glasses of chardonnay or whatever. Yick.

So, I don’t know – has anyone else noticed Saturn in Virgo coinciding with more sober attitudes toward food, diet, drinking, smoking etc???  Or is G.F.C. angst having peeps turning to good old reliable sources of relaxation & misery drowning? I read somewhere that MacDonalds fast food and co is 40 % up for the quarter…?  And I don’t know if i even officially think this but do people trust authorities who are anti-beer/wine etc (excessive consumption, whatever) when it’s apparently fine to dish out potentially problematic anti-depressants et al???

Note: Every article I have ever read on health does say skin-brushing is always fantastic, so is water and hot chips are bad. Just to simplify.