Waiting For Mars

Filed in Macho Mars

woman with birdcage

MARS DIRECT @9 LIBRA
L.A. – Monday 18.31
NEW YORK – Monday 21.31
LONDON – Tuesday 02.31
DUBAI – Tuesday 05.31
TOKYO – Tuesday 10.31
SYDNEY – Tuesday 11.31

The bird is out of the cage so now what?

As I said in the Daily Mystic email to subscribers this morning, this is about the point where you realize that there WAS schizz happening in the 11 interminable weeks of this Mars Retrograde.  A cage unlocked.  Rancid residue from the past sloughed off. In-effective thinking re-schemed.  Relationships re-appraised.

So it is only with Mars Direct and then out of shadow (that happens gradually over June) that we get our game back and realize just how radical the changes during those eleven weeks were.

Relationships developments with that Zap Zone/Grand Cardinal Cross in April = massively real and important.  Don’t go doing premature anything with Mars so volatile and hyped as he is now. Especially not re anything Libra-ish: romance, beauty, lawsuits.

More in the Horoscopes obviously…

So how are you doing with Mars warming up on the sidelines? Anything sort of stalled or poised for momentum? Freed and ready for flight? Rusty cages chucked out in the alley for removal or to be picked up by tinkers who like that sort of junk?

Chibiusa Time Key Top Image: Miles Aldridge

Bottom Image: CaptainLaserBeam- Chibiusa Time Key – Society 6

 

168 thoughts on “Waiting For Mars

  1. I have really felt this retrograde and today I am positively tingling. I’m not sure where to direct this energy – so much on my plate – but I better find something!

    And I’m super impressed with Pamela Anderson’s speech in Cannes, how Lilith is that???!

    • oh gosh, I just looked this up, that’s terrible. the shit women have to deal with as young girls.

      :(

      :(

    • yes, just saw the headline. Amazing all this stuff is coming out now… So scorpio moon!

      • I don’t know if it’s just my training these days (arty stuff, personal dark phase), but I am almost compulsive about investigating murky stuff. no hesitation in going there. there are no scorpy progressions in my chart, but maybe something else is being freed up. scorp moons are awesome though, for kicking through one’s psychic wastelands.

        • I love the murky stuff too! Not afraid of heading into the heart of a matter. I put this down to being born at a dark moon (Libra Sun, Virgo Moon) but now that you mention it, it could be due to Scorpy influence: 8th house moon and Merc in Scorpio. ? I too love Scorp moon phases in the month and people w natal Scorp moons :)

          • hey, dark moon time.. hadn/t thought about that. I have that too. hm.

            mercury scorpio would surely make you keen to sniff out hidden or obscure(d) information… and the 8th house moon ‘intense themes’ would feel like familiar ground maybe?

            • Yes I think the lunar phase you are born in is a big ‘thing’. I noticed both my mum & aunt were born with waning cardinal sun-moon squares (Cancer sun w Aries moon and an Aries w a Cap moon) which is interesting. And their dharma was to be very competitive – with themselves and each other!

              I feel safe around other dark moon people but am attracted to full moon individuals. It’s similar to how my shy Virgo moon feels safer w other introverted signs – Earth & Water, tho my Saggi Asc does love a good Sagg moon too :)

            • Yes, intensity meets intensity with me. Sometimes I surprise myself when I meet it outside of me, how right and resonant it feels with me.

  2. Two weeks till university finishes then it’s a flurry of seven week, intensive writing activity as I rejig my first failure of a childrens’ novel into something super. New title, changed interiors and hopefully agent, then savy publisher. About to burst, I think…

  3. Saw on the sidebar an old post with the pic “whatever forever”. Sums up my mantra perfectly as I sit waiting patiently for something to happen. Just ploughing through admin/study and am well prepped for whatever Mars throws my way.

  4. I’ve been looking at everything in the house and asking the question ‘Are you ballast?’ Any hesitation is taken as a ‘yes’. Boxes and boxes of stuff weighing me down has gone to charity. Lots of things that I thought were keepers have been chucked without a second glance. Haven’t hit the bottom yet so wondering where it will all end.

    • ballast.. hmm, i like that concept. I read this quote recently from tori amos:

      The sense of loss is such a tricky one, because we always feel like our worth is tied up into stuff that we have, not that our worth can grow with things we are willing to lose.

    • ooh ballast, great word for these things, I shall remember and use it while I work on my epic de-clutter. I have been on the same process, although I had more joy and oomph before the Mars retro thing started to grind at my very soul. The de-clutter has to be multi-dimensional I suppose and some of it has been mental/ emotional/ family historical in recent weeks.

      with today’s energy I feel and this word ‘ballast’ I feel another joyful clear-out coming on…

    • love this. I’ve been doing the same. I’m getting way better at letting go of things. I haven’t hit the bottom yet. I’m at the point where I’m wondering, “I’ve cleared through SO MUCH so how do I still have so many things…” ha.
      also been clearing my laptop clutter because virtual clutter still counts.

  5. THIS (from mystic’s daily email)… “You could also think about the last 11 weeks as being letting go of crap you do not require in your life to make more room for what you actually desire.”

    YES.

    • Yes! And do you know what I do not need more of? My self cluttering up every situation! “Remove the excess” and “let it be” – THAT is my major learning from Mars retro (and I have natal Mars in Libra). Once that’s out of the way, the situation is free to evolve as it will and you have a) more clarity and calm b) oddly, more courage (coeur-age) – there is more room for your heart to speak its wisdom to you, when the voices of the ego aren’t drowning it out. I ain’t perfect at this yet, but it’s so far it’s working!

    • Hmm… What if something wonderful started developing 11 weeks ago only to fall wayside the last 2?

    • Hits my natal Venus Libra at 7°.
      Here’s hoping for something exciting. It’s been nothing but work, work work, blood, sweat and a few tears since Feb!

      • Gahh, I hear ya. It’s been conjuncting my 7 degrees Libra natal Pluto all month. So depth charge BUT DO NOTHING on my energy levels. Got myself a solid daily psych/spiritual practice for the first time ever, which is supporting me ludicrously much.

        And transiting Pluto is currently still squaring my natal Venus at 13 Libra with a bit of transiting Venus in opposition for good measure. Potential relationships are complex, secretly tantalising and oh so unspoken!

        When is this storm gonna break? ;) Holding back my horses

  6. Will add that during The Great Fracturing (on April 15 exact), found out decisively that fellow Libra sun mate had been unfaithful pretty much the entire previous 8 months. Intensely painful, soul-crushing ride. But, am transforming a lot of my darker, grittier issues into positives. Plus, since kicking the sh*t deceiver to the curb, have opened up heart space for 3 old friends to show back up. Good energy flowing!

    • Gosh TripleL, I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been through such a sh*tty ordeal. The way you’ve handled it though is inspiring – good things are coming in.

      Hugs and high fives xx

    • So sorry to hear of your shitty experience of late. But you sound made of steel and diamonds. Well done for taking the external crap and disciplining yourself to LEVERAGE it for personal gain. Ain’t no-one can make us feel crap. You’ve just proved how to take anything from life and use it to CONQUER.

      RESPECT. Awesome.

    • Very grateful for supportive words; thank you SB and LF! Nothing like realising you are the only monogamous one in a “monogamous” relationship to inspire deep change. Spirit had been showing me signs/synchronicities for months, but my ego was in denial. Easter was a breakdown/breakthrough moment. Prayed for the truth, and it came flooding. Kick ass Reiki healer helping me to cleanse and repair old, deep-seated wounds. This Libra sun, Gemini moon, Leo rising lady is SO looking forward to Jupiter in Leo (will hit my natal Mars and Venus) — dig it! <3 Peace and love, friends. xoxo

      • You really do get what you ask for – especially at times such as these. If you are connecting in with spirit and your higher self then untrue circumstances are bound to come up to be vanquished. I’ve been learning to see them (& all the old patterning as it re-emerges) as opportunities for PURIFICATION. So they really do serve you and your higher purpose. Better out than in, as they say? ;)

        Keep on going love. Yes Jupiter in Leo – my Saggi Ascendant is gonna love that too, yeeha!

  7. Well I reckon half the planet knows about my dramas with the Stupid Virgo Housemate by now. :mrgreen:

    It’s taken me exactly one year to work out what the problem is: he is profoundly stupid. Like really really really dumb. In the most literal sense of the word. Which stumped me because I have never met a truly stupid Virgo. Like ever. Plenty of annoying ones. But never outright mentally deficient.

    Anyway … whatever.

    Made me realise that there’s simply no point in communicating with someone who only understands “FUCK OFF”. The whole situation has just furthered my plans to buy my own house which I think has been the point of the past six months – that I have grown out of living the life of an itinerant student. I have decent furniture for fuq sakes! I have a cat! I have art!! … like yeah. Living with housemates is not cutting it no more. I’m done. Next phase.

    But thank FUQ for Mars Direct … it was only in the last couple of weeks that I really felt it but geeeez what a test of patience and indurance. There’s other relationshipy thingies … but I haven’t really processed them yet. Kicking The Cap out of my symbolic Sacred Relationship Space was a bloody good start though ….

    Here’s to a bit more freakin forward momentum eh? *cheers*

      • You’re a happy little vegemite at the moment aren’t ya?? hehehe … Actually come to think of it, I know a few Gems who are bouncing off the walls with enthusiasm right now.

    • I had a good long think about your situation (that’s about 10 secs to an Aries gem riser :) ) anyway. The whole sharing a house thing, whether you like it or not, is an intimate relationship. I can’t see how sharing a house you can avoid intimacy of a sort . I see the selection process working along those lines too. Maybe his unwanted familiarity etc is just a symptom of you attempting some type of isolation when none is possible ?

      • lol!! yep. There hasn’t been one house i lived in where i didn’t see at least one flatmate’s bare ass at least once, whether by accident or design! cheeky (lol) so and so’s.

      • hahaha … yes but those 10 secs are all it takes for Gem Rising to analyse, diagnose and solve even the most complex of problems! I know. I have one too. ;)

        But yeah … wanting excessive amounts of distance in a houseshare arrangement isn’t realistic. And yeah I’ve realised that my angst was partially coming from an unmet need to move on in this regard.

        Even so … opening my mail? Going into my room when I’m not home and using my computer? Washing my clothes and hanging them out on the line? That’s just getting out of control. The fact that I even have to state that this is unacceptable is absurd. What 45 year old male has not worked this basic stuff out yet?

        The guy is basically a munted pot plant who is completely unconscious of his own behaviour and motives. I’m not used to having someone so unevolved in my personal space with all his unmet intimacy needs leaking out all over the fuqing place. It’s gross. God knows how he slipped through the radar … but that’s ok, now I’ve accepted both realities (he’s a dick, I want to live by myselft) I can adjust and make plans accordingly. :D

        • I just read this. Is it out of order for me to say, UGH this guy is sick?!! FUck! OK – maybe unevolved, maybe dim, but MAN, he’s gotta respect your boundaries or he’s just a social retard. Which obviously equates to not someone who need in your space. At all!

          Buying your house sounds so good – is that something real that is likely to happen? Oh I hope so, ProwlnCrab. Yeah, sometimes these triggers are what we need to just pull out all the stops and find the resources (or ways to find the resources) to get what we need.

          You deserve a wonderful oasis of a home! A base to operate your awesome from and to pull people back in to.. to, ahem, ‘nurture’, you understand ;) Strength to ya!

  8. A bigger ride than imagined!
    Finally put a 7 year painful relationship to bed but only after travelling away in early April together and discovering two other women in his life, the denial of such and a confrontation that saw further denial, oivey! Since then I’ve had two suitors from nowhere and a brilliant job offer from outta the blue in my chosen field. The suitors aren’t my cuppa but they have been few and far between while engaged with the Pisces Qui Vamp. My own business is also picking up speed although I’m as poor as a church mouse (clearly not catholic in denomination) and my health is still ailing however i see some way forward.
    Today i feel the culmination of the last 11 weeks, its strong and I’m at a standstill, pending, post churn…x

    • Wow, I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s awesome that you seem to be handling the break up so well! Go you.

      • Thank you, it was painful yet liberating! I think i knew the score, i was just holding on. Letting go is more rewarding yet strangely harder. thanks again.

  9. Part time three month contract at nice new workplace — tick (well, still waiting for interview verdict, later today)

    About to rent new art studio, shared with artist friend, very cheap — tick

    Ideas for new show/new work bubbling up — tick

    Feeling excited and positive for first time in months — tick

    New romantic possibities on horizon — intriguing flirtations/friendships springing up after LOngest Ever Drought — tick

    Changing the world via attending peaceful protest rally yesterday — tick

    Throid imbalance sorted out with GP/blood and other tests in past week — tick

    YAY!!!

  10. I forgot I have Mars conjuct Rising. I made myself look like an idiot. But I have sent the most sincere apologies to anyone I’ve hurt without expecting anything this time. I apologize not just for them but for my mind to stay sound. I hurt myself the most.

    What a crazy Mars retro. I just hope, as I turn 24 today, that I can learn from this. My utmost gratitude to you, dear Mystic, for your astrological insights.

    • Happy birthday TL. May it bring you a fresh start/ bright hope.
      We all fall down. The strength to stand up again sometimes takes a little while to recognise but its there.
      Hugs xxx

    • It sounds like you already are learning from your experience, Toroloco.

      Take care and have a great birthday :)

  11. yesterday… aggressive hot zone.

    Anyone who dared go near me was testing their nine lives.

    My poor long suffering cancer man scuttled out of the way between short “please be sane again” hugs.

    I am tired. Tired of impermanence, of unreliable people and timelines, of being financially stalled, of snippy snarly coworkers, of laziness including my own.

    I have spent the last two weeks on palliative watch over my favourite pet and that just sent me berko dealing with the hurt and the dark selfishness that comes out. Not wanting to have to make a final decision.

    Sometimes the idea of packing one bag, going far away and starting all over again pounds loudly in my head. This week it’s the loudest it’s been in years.

    • Oh my commiserations Xx, weekend before last I thought my darling staffy was a goner. She must have eaten something really toxic by the river, wouldn’t eat, was shuddering and couldn’t walk :(

      I know what you mean about making the decision, as she is older, and quite limited mobility now from a massive operation when she was 2. Kept doing tarot and iching, and it said to wait it out, she came good. That dog has had more than 9 lives! It’s very very hard to let them go, I know.

      • It’s so hard seeing a beautiful creature with complete devotion and a wonderful spirit struggle to get through everyday things. And being powerless to help… Just waiting.

        • Poor baby. (You and animal spirit). It’s so hard. All you can do is love, love and love some more. Sending you big hugs xxx

    • Hmmmm packing one bag, moving far away IS attractive! But you take yourself and your shizz with you wherever you go. You know that hon. X

      • I know:-( and I would normally rather be packing that bag to explore than to escape.

        Just right now. Gritting teeth and trying to get thru all the crapness.

  12. It’s my birthday. The only person who called me was my dad. He asked me, don’t I have some friend to have dinner with? No, I don’t. Apparently I don’t have a single friend on this earth.

    So I spent the day planting my little garden of four pepper plants, and repairing the burned out bulb in my car headlight. I got the damn thing replaced, at a cost of bloodied and lacerated knuckles. And the headlight still doesn’t work.

    • Birthday salutations. ;-)

      (Insert something about dinner being overrated here)

      I’m guessing its a pesky fuse then?

    • birthday salutations x2.

      sometimes you’ve got to go your own way in life.

      (and yes check your fuses)

    • I’ve had a few like that…and I know a lot of people. I’m sure by the end of those stoic days I was a basket case. I feel for you! Love your little four-pepper garden. Best birthday wishes to you — the best is yet to come.

    • Happy Solar Return Mr Charles – I think there is something quietly excellent about your day – all Heat and Light, well, working on the light bit … x

    • Charles, it’s my bday as well and I went through the exact same thing. Relplace the planting with baking though lol. It hasn’t been good for this degree of Taurus apparently.

      But happy birthday astro brother. There will be better ones, I know it!

    • Happy birthday fellow Toro! Mine was Saturday and I had the most low key birthday I’ve ever had. Quiet dinner with immediate family. Home in my pj’s by 8.30pm, cosying up on my own on the lounge. Sometimes it’s just what we need….

      Wish you all the best Charles. Will enjoy a glass of red in your honour x

      • yes, my own was the previous saturday, I had a rather large night and it flattened me for a week – to the point I think I missed the cue to keep it low key

    • Dear Charles,
      Many Happy Returns for your birthday. :)
      Just be thankful you had a few things to do. You took a very practical Taurus approach to the day. Reframing expectations of ourself (being our own or that of others) is a tough essential game changer in life. Be kind to yourself Charles.
      My birthday plan for this year is admission to a private clinic for extensive PTSD treatment. Think I’d rather swap with you and tinker away on a car. Guess it is essentially a metaphor for life.

    • Happy birthday Charles! I’d love to take you to dinner (Dutch style) if we were in the same city. Xx

    • Call me an interwebz friend if you will have me?
      This friend wishes you a very happy birthday Charles, ;) .

    • Happy Birthday, Brah! *hi five*

      I too have a burned out front. For a month, now! I’ve been staying in after dark rather than lacerating my knuckle-skin. What a diva, i know. Do you make house calls?

      I have spent more birthdays than not as you are spending yours, Charles. I always feel rather alienated & lonely myself… somber.

      I love that you’re seeding new life on your birthday, tho! That’s great new year juju you’re working ;) And peppers? Caliente, muchacho! xx

    • I hate birthdays. I always spend them alone. New years too. Er… Happy Birthday?
      That sounds so lame. Seriously the pressure to be happy on your solar return can be a bitch. You survived the this far .. tomorrow is another day mate.

  13. “take me to the large hadron particle collider” she said to the taxi driver. This bird is not what he seems.

    SORRY but this picture is crying out for the astro gaga treatment. I miss them! I love for those things. And the Tarot.

    Re the Virgo Housemate – what have i missed? Last i heard he was about to be seduced? Is the honeymoon over already?

    • Holy fuq that was like … years ago …………..

      Ok last Julyish. I have Gem Rising remember. Once it’s done it’s done. And I can’t possibly date a muppet no matter how nice his legs are.

      And I often wonder what is happening with that Hadron Collider thingy … perhaps no news is good news? Ripping a whole in the space time continuum by creating a micro black hole underneath Paris is probs not a grand eventuality. ;)

  14. Ah, having housemate issues of my own. Gemini dude housemate finally moving out at the beginning of June and I realised i’d better get my arse in gear and find a new one. Would LOVE to live by myself but, oh you know, cost of living being excruciating. He told me I need one because I need a man in the house. Ha! Okay, useless lump who doesn’t do anything around the house and pervs at me and gets weird whenever I even mention another man. I finally see why: he’s possessive. He thinks living together = ending up together. Nup. Nup nup nup. Good time for him to be going. And I’m sick of him ANALYSING me, for fuq’s sake. Stop analysing what I’m wearing, saying, buying. Just stop. Leave. Gah!!!

    Have been stalling putting myself ‘out there’ in both dating realms (dating, what’s that?) and professionally. I thought that with me looking great, feeling fit and healthy and having an awesome script ready to go would imbue me with crazy confidence but stoopid fear and insecurity is stronger than ever. Mars Retro has been bang on my natal 9 Libra Pluto (plus Pluto conjunct Merc, opp MC and Saturn). I know I need to ditch the fear but where are the helpful hints? You’d think Pluto going over my Cap sun would’ve let me sort all that out, but nope, still have stomach-churning fear every day when I think of taking that first step – career, social, relationship or other.

    Actually, maybe Mars has taught me I need to get more friends and support ppl since I don’t have partner/ family/ non-creepy housemate to rely on. While I value my independence above all else, I think I’ve gone too far and have no support around me which can leave you kind of just… adrift. I guess trees and birds aren’t suitable ‘friends’ when it comes down to it. (But I find so much calmness and strength in gardening, looking after animals, etc.)

    I also think it’s my looming 40th (end of Dec) that’s spooking me. I don’t care about age, hey, I’m a Cap, but everyone else keeps pointing it out to me. So I’ve started getting pangs, PANGS I tells ya, of wanting a house, partner, babies. Why the fuq are they hitting me NOW? I’ve never wanted any of that. It’s ‘not my thing’. So why is my brain suddenly almost craving them?

    So basically I need friends, love, career movement, a new flatmate and probably an income, a partner, babies, a home of my own. That seems to be what Mars Retro has dropped in my lap. It just makes me feel overwhelmed. I was hoping it’d give me a massive boost of self-confidence and I’d emerge late May/ June as a don’t-give-a-fuq powerhouse of progression. Maybe I just need sex? :P

    • hi. yes. we need people. confidants, tech support, professional ear-bending types, partners in crime, mentors and sisters-in-arms / industry colleagues. not in a creepy co-dependent way, but because it is the 21st century and no one achieves anything completely alone. reach out! slowly, easy does it.

      oh dear. sorry to hear that you too have been dealing with wierdo housemales. good luck with new people.
      x

    • If I may say so I recently read about a research study in the weekend edition of the Age – on how good networks of friends benefited long term health more than good diet…Good reason to really seek diverse company. Empathy healing, so emotions affecting the physiological.

      That said having children can be very isolating, politics in parent groups can deliver more status anxiety than career lows or aspirations unmet. Parents can be so unforgiving of their own children or other’s, and parents too. I have had mixed dealings with various parent groups…sometimes unexpectedly bad or good…

      BUT the more I think about it – the more I realise we are here definitely to continue with the biological imperative, though I’ve really noticed some people who are so wonderful with children don’t necessarily have them…Ceres is an asteroid I’d be looking for in a chart to consider nurturing inclinations, experiences, I think. Its my view as we age we still need physical love (not just sex) but comfort, affection, compassion and kindness.

      Economics is more of a deterrent than the minefield of relationships…I had a career (and lots of stress) but the demands of affording my work passions precluded motherhood almost at the expense of kids. At 42 (uranus opposition) I had one child that literally nearly killed me.

      Positive reasons to have children; you are not your career, redefining your identity, concepts, experiences of love and intimacy; having children with a partner and loving your partner differently but intensely.

      Revelations on your parents loving of you, cathartic insights inspiring you to change for better, being protective, and protected, growing a person you do not own, but are helping to grow up away from you…And so on…Legacy is a wonderful thing, mostly. Unexpected journeys come with sacrifice, parenthood demands much continuously however really IS enriching to the soul.

      Then there is pervasive sexism for career minded women, it is shocking. I found men expected me to disappear and have children…I love my childless career minded women friends because they are my friends regardless..You can lose friends because you do dare to have children too, just as you can lose a partner too…

      Its not insecure to want the unconditional and innocent love of kids, or to remember what it is to have love from family…or the loveI wanted but may not have had…Then there is mortality, because when you have children suddenly life is too precious…And not precious enough sometimes.

      • yes I agree Aqua sun bird. I have an international of Quirkyalone friends, met at online forum… the whole child free child less vs parents thing is very strong in US but also feels like a bit of a war in Australia. Women are so universally condemned… whether they have children or not, whether they have careers or not. It’s a deeper patriarchial oppression. Mothers are universally loved and placed on a pedestal and also derided if they are not perfect.

        all those expectations are why I’ve never had children. too scared to! mind you lots of ppl have called me ‘selfish’ for not having them…

        • You put that so well, GemYogi. Me neither, kiddos – circumstance, but also what a bag of rattlesnakes, in terms of how you are seen. Tho as you say, this goes for women regardless of whether they have children or not. Gahhh…

      • and ppl (mainly men) have called me a manhating lesbian because I have a career, am single and have no children LOL

        • I met an amazingly inspiring woman in her mid-late sixties, a current practicing architect, who was childless, she’d had a wonderful life, very enriched. Her husband recently died (cancer) and I could see she was still busy, engaged with people, friends around her, but I could also sense her sadness at losing her companion. She also told me she had many god children. Before I had my daughter I thought this is what I would would like to emulate if I had a different life. However its true we have little guarantee either way, we are born alone, die alone, so a strong sense of inner self is a vital thing. You don’t get that just because of kids, it up to ourselves to do what we can, our journeys are really not theirs or anybody else’s!

          • Yes! agree! I’m an auntie to five gorgeous kids, and recently ‘adopted’ another 15 year old girl, my friend’s daughter, she has a dickhead Dad and not much family around.

            Love being an aunt, I had a wonderful inspiring activist Aunt Heather, who helped me through my adolescence and young womanhood. She was and still is, a big inspiration to me.

      • This is so profound to my ears, Aquasunbird! It gets to a point, if you have not had kids by early 30s, that it stops being something you just go along with the flow and do, in the culturally conditioned way we are encouraged to do as women, as part of peer pressure, handed-down ancestral imperative, self-identity… and becomes a choice. Or rather, a why would I? Which is rarely talked about. And even less so are the positive reasons, but given from within the free or almost existential framework of ‘why would I?’ But you just did that. And it’s amazing. Unsentimental, honest, true. I’m going to copy what you have written and paste it into a document to keep – one day I may need to remember why.

        Also, I’m sorry to hear that it was so hard giving birth at 42. Since I imagined just last night that maybe fate will put me in a position of having one at that age, would it be too nosey to ask why/what happened? I don’t know how long ago that was, but I hope you are fully recovered & restored now.

        “Then there is mortality, because when you have children suddenly life is too precious…And not precious enough sometimes.” And these lines resonate – life is not precious enough sometimes.. you mean to take and protect something as valuable to you as your child, or .. ?

        Thank you :)

    • Jeebus … maybe they’re all the same. Maybe there’s like one cosmic male housemate genome and so they’re all inappropriate fuqtards who can’t get laid so they harrass their female housemates?

      And I hear you about the house and the partner. Forget the babies tho. I don’t do babies.

      • My trick has been to get really young male housemates, like 20 years younger, guys in their early 20s. They just do their own thing and are not in the least interested in me. They also listen to me like I’m their mom if I tell them to do something. It works out great!

        I can relate to housemate hell on another level, though. I had to evict a woman my own age from my house a year and a half ago and it was a nightmare on every level, including the legal level. Never again…… ugh!

  15. All the action in my 2nd house – toxic workplace/bullyboy boss scenario finishes on Moon eclipse 15 April with unceremonial sacking and fatal attraction to completely unavailable workmate )this left with suble caresses and a lot of retro Mars nonaction on my part)

    Am hoping my second interview last week has secured me full time job with all chick business

    My divorce coincided with theFull Moon in Scorpio last week…..

    Ready Set GO

  16. Waiting for Tuesday! Yay for Mars direct. I am getting the sneaking suspicion that my covert assessment of situations during Mars retro…was….correct? Anyway…no snap decisions once Mars is direct. Flexing my knuckles career-wise.

  17. Can’t WAIT!!! Today I feel I am more impatient than ever for things to get a trolley on.

    • Just rewatched… please everybody play this… Cash is the man!

      this is the song of Mars Direct! thanks Jicky

      • He is the man. I love all those covers on the album Unchained. He even covers Nine Inch Nails.
        Thanks Gemyogi x

        • Now I must get the album.. I’ve got a greatest hits, love solitary man and I won’t back down.

  18. Phew – this Mars retrograde has been crazy. Ex husband was living with us while we tried to work things out. He had a bad drinking problem and took his life on April 27. There were so many great things about him, I just had one he’ll of a time ever really letting him go. Talk about being freed from a old cage. That was actually what someone said to me at his Memorial last weekend “you are free now”.

    • Oh gosh, I am so sorry for your loss Redsonya. I hope you are holding up as well as one can in these circumstances, and please reach out if you need any support. This is a caring and kind community.

      xxx

  19. Wow, 11 weeks seems like such a long time ago! Mars is in my third house; I’ve quit a workplace with major communication issues and started working by myself. Which, for the most part, I’m still loving.

    Today I found out through a social media site that a program I designed at my previous job won an award. No one bothered to get in contact and share the good news – I found out through a link to a press release. Pretty average if you ask me.

    • It felt like 11 months!

      Congratulations on the award! Doesn’t matter that they didn’t bother to get back to you about it, what matters is that you’ve got fab affirmation as to your own capabilities and talents ;)

  20. Mars has been sitting retrograde exactly on my Eros, at 9 deg Libra, for at least the last week……… I am raring to go tomorrow! Ack!!!!

    The guy I met during the April ZZ, a potentially massively real and important one? He has Mars retro in Libra, natally, at 3 degrees. That must not be too fun for him……. Boy do I like this guy! Crazy……
    We have incredible synastry, which is like, ok, great, it can always look fabulous on paper, but may not play out in the highest form, or in the fantasized way, right?
    Most of the synastry is WAY harmonious, and we have that nice Venus/Mars conjunction in Pisces……….
    One interesting thing we do have is Saturn oppose Saturn and I found this really interesting article on what that might be about and why people who are 14 years apart in age, potentially impractical….might gravitate toward each other anyway…
    http://theinnerwheel.com/2010/02/23/synastry-studies-the-saturnsaturn-opposition/

    • I really like this article, Flowerchild. Thanks so much for sharing. It explains a thing or two with a fated feeling attraction I have going on at the moment. Are you 14 years older than your Libra retro Mars boy? Bet he’s really strategic and would be a whizz at martial arts (use the opponent’s energy against themselves). The Mars/Venus conj in Pisces sounds lush – is that from your natal charts or a composite one? Dreamy. My romance is in slo-mo, does it even exist, mode.

      • ‘Gravitate’…….ha ha! I hadn’t even thought of that when I wrote it that this is a Saturnine word! Good call!

        LotusFlower…..glad you found that article useful. I had never thought of or heard of the Saturn Pull concept before but found the article just looking up Saturn oppose Saturn in synastry after noticing I had that aspect with this guy.
        It made a lot of sense to me too because I had been trying to figure out what that deeper ‘draw’ was that I feel with him.

        I am 14 years older (I’m 46, he’s 32). Somewhat impractical for the long term…..people say, oh no it’s not, but I mean, come on, man!
        Anyway……

        The Venus/Mars conjunct in Pisces is from the natals, in synastry. That’s probably what jump started it all….and it does feel quite dreamy!
        In composite we have a Sun/Moon conjunction in Pisces…..I’ve never had that before in composite with anyone.

        This is starting off slow as molasses as well….We hung out evening/overnight a couple times, then didn’t hear from him nearly two weeks and was hesitant to text but I did and was surprised to get an enthusiastic ‘Yes! I would love to hang out!’ back from him. It was like, dude, if you are THAT into it, why haven’t I heard from you..?? I didn’t say that but thought it to myself…..We are going to hang out end of this week, then it will have been three weeks since I’ve seen him…….I dunno man……. If he is being ‘strategic’ then I’m not sure in what way……..

        • Haha who says he’s being ‘strategic’? Sometimes it’s a higher wisdom working through people, don’t you think? Some things are best savoured slowly & in small bites. Rushed they become indigestible?

          Who cares about the long-term? We may or may not have one. Anyway, tomorrow never comes. I think what really struck me about the Saturn Pull article was about how much more you can achieve together, and in an ongoing, not flash-in-the-pan way. Depends how strong Saturn is in your chart as to how much that might mean to you. Saturn is strong in both of our charts – opposition Sun in his & conj Neptune & Chiron; square Sun in mine & Venus, Mars and Uranus. Mine’s in Cancer conjuncting his natal Venus & not so far off his Sun. The Saturnian connection feels like it might be about the restoring of trust to peoplee who need it, and a real world grounding. Capricorn & Cancer: that’s a nice axis for the Saturnalian pull to be on too. I like it.

          Keep hearing from girls who are having to push themselves to contact the boy in a nebulous situation and then it works out well. Maybe there’s something in the air? Maybe it’s just time we gave up the gendered, age-ist roles and accepted that we are all the same and the rigid roles we allow to define us can isolate more than join us together! Have an amazing time this weekend – don’t think about anything. Just enjoy. It sounds lush. You’re v.lucky! xxx

          • I will feel lucky if the guy and I *actually* hang out this Friday…….it was a tentative-to-definite plan but haven’t heard confirmation yet…..

            I had said ‘strategic’ because you were thinking that maybe with his natal Mars retro in Libra that he could be very strategic in his actions.
            But yeah, I don’t think this ‘slowness’ of everything with him is some sort of strategy. I think he’s just busy, has an out of town guest (male) in his house right now, and I also get the sense he is dating other women, too, as we met on this sort of ‘rapid fire’ dating site. So, I think he’s just not thinking about me too much, bottom line….

            The energy between us is VERY nice, though, and I do think he remembers that and that is why he was so enthusiastic in his text to me about hanging out. Whether we will get much chance to actually enjoy more of that energy is to be determined. To me, if he was that into it, he’d make more effort.

            This thing about women needing to make themselves contact the man and then it works out well……I don’t feel comfortable with that. It just makes me feel like they’re just not that into me, but if I call or text and they have a moment, and I bring it to their attention, sure, why would they turn down sex…?
            It’s just another way of making women do all the work…..
            I guess I was conditioned in my generation to not ‘go after’ men. The times I have done that haven’t worked out well….. Everything you read says men like the chase……if you make it too easy for them they will never love or value you, though they may f*ck you. I’m not a person who can be into someone just for sex. I like to get to know people and have a rapport. It’s just how I’m wired……..

            So………….we’ll see, eh? Right now I’m not feeling too optimistic about it all with this guy……………..

            I have a prominent Saturn, it’s in Aries and in the 10th house, squaring Venus and my Ascendant. It does sextile my Sun as well. His Saturn is, of course, in Libra, don’t know what house ’cause I don’t know his Ascendant. He has Mars and Pluto in Libra, too, but they are not very close by degree to the Saturn.

            • Aha, see what you mean on the ‘strategic’ front now! Have no idea on the who contacting who front. We’re all spirits in a material world.. Just so long as we get it ohnn, who cares? ;) Have a great time this weekend!

  21. Mars Retro is perfectly conjunct my natal Saturn-Jupiter conjunction at 9 Lib in 3rd House and then there’s the 52 hours of Moon in Pisces from Wednesday {see weekly scopes fellow Sea Goats!}, and then on Saturday Mercury Retro shadow begins… a WINDOW of what feels to me like 3 fabulous lucky days for communication!

    I’m raring to go, so many things have come together in the past 11 weeks {has it really only been 11 weeks? it felt so much longer!}

    I’m hoping to beta launch a simple “test out the waters” video series during this brief window for twice exceptional {2e} adults like myself {gifted + autistic/Asperger’s} as there’s hardly any resources or advocacy for 2e adults anywhere on the internet.

    • Please link us to the 2e site when you do! That sounds awesome Silver H, best of luck with your venture.

      Saturn Jupe is an interesting combo to have there, how do you find it expresses itself in your chart if I may ask?

      • Thanks Sphinx! Drop me a line at silver [at] silverhuang [dot] com and I’ll keep you posted! I don’t want to post it here as I feel it’s rude ie. spamming Mystic’s site.

        It’s actually a Saturn-Jupiter-Hekate conjunction at 9 Lib {Jupiter & Hekate both at 9 Lib 16!} in my 3rd House.

        I definitely think that the way this conjunction has expressed itself in my writing is how I am always drawn to expansive themes and topics to write about ie. philosophy, psychology etc. and in the past I used to struggle with having so much to say or having such a huge concept to convey that I’m literally overwhelmed. That was definitely Jupiter.

        It definitely didn’t help that I am dyslexic due to the fact that I do not think in words.

        But then with dedicated practice over seven years or so, in making writing a discipline, I definitely managed to come up a system that allowed me to improve the way I could translate my thoughts into essays successfully. That was definitely the Saturn.

        So I started with raw Jupiter and then my Saturn kicked in and pushed me towards practice and discipline and today, I can crunch broad concepts into a systematic map for writing with more comfort. It’s not 100% easy but I can do it, and what matters is that I love it.

        Another aspect, that I just thought about, is that you can also think about how Jupiter can be considered “big picture thinking” and Saturn is “detail-oriented thinking”. I’ve always been pretty adept at swiftly shifting from big picture to detail thinking. And you can think of writing as basically being the translation of cognition, basically how and what you think, into the medium of language for communication.

        I think a Saturn-Jupiter conjunction channeled well allows a person to successfully harness the expansive growth potential of Jupiter into a practical system of executable steps in real life in order to manifest that potential. Jupiter is afterall possibility but possibility doesn’t become reality until it’s crunched in the detail.

        • Thanks Silver! I like your interpretation of a well harnessed Jupiter to Saturn’s yoke. Unstoppable! I think a little link would be ok thru yr avatar? Am sure others would be interested too.
          Fascinated by the description of not working with words. Am teaching my little asd Cappy to speak atm and he has much trouble taking the bunched up experience and taking it apart strand by strand, transferring those verbal strands into other circumstances.

          I think when he grows up he may be able to use the gift for visual memory in interesting ways. It really does seem that asd comes with gifts, not just deficits as some see it.

          Tapping that potential is an interesting process. In fact I wonder how much astrology could be used to help asd kids understand people – given it is such a image-filled understanding of the nature of things through time, cycles and the planets!

  22. Was it only 11 weeks?? Felt like 11 MONTHS :shock: It was torturous!!
    So this Mars in Libra has superceded the horrendous Mars retro in Leo we had a few years back.

    Did anyone else have trouble sleeping last night? I never, ever have problems sleeping but last night I was tossing and turning tip 4am.

    • I have also beenn having trouble sleeping, scorpbot…i’Ve been waking at 3am on the dot the last few nights.

    • I’ve been having trouble sleeping for months. Keep waking at 3.30 or 4 then find it hard to get back to sleep.

      Either that or wake at 5ish when I don’t have to get up until 7. I am a bit sleep deprived.

    • I’ve only been having sleeping problems over the past week or so. Difficulty falling asleep, waking up in the middle of the night with lots of tossing and turning, waking up too early etc.

    • I’ve been waking at 4:30 on the dot for a week now ? I sense the supernatural at play here ! .. ( or my new BP medication).
      What does my gut say ? Hmmmm .. It’s the supernatural !
      You know how in Vedic or is it Chinese medicine every 2 hrs is related to a particular body part, well I think 4 is the hour of the liver ? I’ve been told if your waking at the same time in the night it’s something to do with the body part connected to that time. (Or if your out at 4 still drinking it’s definitely the liver. :)

      • LOL. :)

        yeah I’ve heard that thing about the body.

        I guess we’re all restless for Mars to get a move on!

      • I think you have Liver energy at 1am-3am. Then Lung & then Liver Intestine energy. So yogis have it right when they get up at 3/4am to meditate and practice (get the best prana off the air at that time) then clear the bowels ahead of a new day!

      • The liver time in TCM is 1am – 3am, between 3am and 5am is the lungs and may signify grief.

  23. Piscean Pa turned up to my kid’s grandparent’s day at school (my nieces go to the same school – I didn’t invite him).
    So I asked my 5 year old Kataka how it went and he said his grandparents didn’t help him finish the assigned task, left early and that he felt angry & sad. Then he cried frustrated hurt tears.
    The last 48 hours I keep looking for reasons to keep this guy in my life. Instead I keep finding reasons not to.

    • “then he cried frustrated hurt tears”

      Awwww, that breaks my heart Sphinx. :(

      I’d do anything for my sister’s kids – a Saggo, Gem, PIsces and little Aqua. They’re all so awesome,

      • You are clearly a most beautiful light and awesome auntie for those kids! They are so lucky to have a magical astro witch as an aunt. ;)

    • Sphinx that is well out of order mate. Just so wrong. I’d go with your gut. But then I have no choice but to go with mine. I have emotional teretz syndrome (not to diminish or belittle those who suffer from terretz syndrome which I can’t even spell) just an analogy. I know it’s tougher when you have kids and more complex but that sounds ouch
      Sorry it happened.. I think your last line is poignant.

      • Thanks guys, I probs shouldn’t vent here, but it was just continuing the astrologically perfect (if not desired) events of the FM.

        I don’t want to punish the old man, I forgive him, as usual. But he’s gotten away with abusive behaviour for years by switching to floppy Piscean charm when it escalates.

        But some things remain.

        Short term experiences like I had a friend, who was out of work for years due to schizophenia, tell me he wanted to kill himself after spending an afternoon with him at my place.

        Or on bigger time scale, my fragile Virgo bro not making it, in part due to his meanness & lack of interest in his ptsd/depression after his abuse etc.

        When you have kids it’s a duty to protect their spirit because the neg. info from the environment becomes their character: the emotional epigenetic effect.

        I was wondering if I am being harsh because many people would say ‘he’s not that bad’, but good qualities accompanied BY bad qualities don’t negate the bad ones.
        It is actually ‘cos I do care about him I want to show him what a boundary looks like..

        What’s tricky is Piscean energy can be insidious – you don’t see it coming.
        Like a gas you can’t smell then suddenly you are vomiting.

        • good qualities accompanied BY bad qualities don’t negate the bad ones.

          yes, but they blind some people e.g. ‘but he’s a really nice guy… don’t be so harsh’

          this masks really dreadful behaviour that ppl get away with because they are allegedly ‘nice’

          • Yes, gemyogi, the negative will still be negative regardless of how interesting/charismatic/creative/fun the person is.

            I have only really recently understood this. But the damaging relationships I have sustained due to my ignorance of this point affected my early life badly.

  24. Wow.. not sure. I am looking to start my own business. Opening up a corporation today. Yikes.. AND.. I am sending a proposal to my previous employer to help them with a lot projects my boss would not let me do. It is just sitting there. All they can say is “no”.

    This corporation will also cover my acting / modeling gigs that requires my money to keep this trade going. Let see!!

    The Pisces man and I have been in touch very casually. He is contacting me then pulling away. He wants something.. He’s been helping me with me opening my corporation. I will let this go now.

    I hope everything does start moving starting tomorrow. I have so much going on but income will stop after May 30th.

    xo!!

    • Same here. My book advance runs out and I will have no means of income after May 30th either. I’m also planning to start my own biz venture. Something really simple and basic. Not particularly lofty but that’s why I think it might work. It will be hard work but I feel capable and if I put in the slog I feel it’s possible to succeed .. BELIEVE VE BELIEVE IN YOU. Keep me posted on post May 30th since we’ll be in the same boat. Happy Mars direct xxx

      • Exciting Invictus! Go Get’m.. Have doing my research and really got some great ideas to help me get started. Then I got an email yesterday for a phone interview. I will step away from the my own biz thoughts and focus on the phone interview. If things move smoothly with this job then it will give me more time to plan the MOB plan. I can do it while working as a “just in case” Plan B.

        I will keep you posted!! xo!

  25. Woke up this morning feel bright-eyed and refreshed. There IS a buzz I can totally feel. Have been whining loudly here about Mars Retro, but realize that I have been doing the retro work and quietly putting things in place, it was just so ANNOYING (for me) to have to work that way. But I think I actually did what needed to be done, and I do have all sort of projects and self-dev and PLANS that, yeah, I really did do a decent job of preparing. And soon it will be launch time, delicious delicious launch time. Thank goodness….

  26. Oh yes, lots of crap released. This last phase has been going on since October, but I see how much the crap of a lifetime had affected me from the last time Saturn was in my Scorpio asc. It’s been a long time to carry that much pain, but I finally let go of my narcissistic mother. My stepdad passed away a few weeks ago and that was the catalyst toward exposure. In the past I would have have felt so worthless and suicidal, but I finally saw it all -all the abuse, the blaming, the using, the means to an end behavior- and I’ve been released.

  27. Feeling really heavy, scared and like my legs are made of lead. It ok tho just a bit grumpy. Stalkers and pass agg snark factor is annoying. My new site was almost hacked, they threw him off after 20 failed log in attempts. Since the site is not live yet and there is only one person who knows it’s name, my ex editor, I’m pretty sure it’s him. Decided to ignore it along with his mawkish and manipulative emails. Not engaging. Likewise for other Qi vamps like FF and ex biz partner who is pulling the “we need to talk” shitz. I’m like “do we?”
    Ugh
    There are good things afoot tho – it’s just scary making so many big changes right now. Bit of an uphill slog.
    Sorry I’ve been so quiet on here. It’s weird when I know I’m being cyber stalked I don’t feel as comfortable sharing here :-(
    Anyways… just saying HEY!

  28. Wow that comment sounded so negative.
    In truth there is just so much awesomeness that I am on the cusp of or nearing that I guess it’s scary. Don’t wanna jinx it by talking about it yet. It has been such a scary week and looking to get scarier but I’m doing the dream analysis and yoga and the odd NC session, training in the gym and plodding on slowly with my writing practice, new site and total life morph. I know how the snake feels before shedding tho. Like fuq this it HAS to come off I’m feeling so sluggish and weighed down by the past that still clings to me but the fear of the impending vulnerability is intermittent as moment os future awesome flash before me and I’m also full of terror and dread and what if’s ? There is no way except thru. Sounds easier than it is tho. I know it will be worth it. Facing the demons and backing myself but ohhhhhhhhhh … kind of in free fall some of the time and feeling really slow and measured (legs of lead) the rest of the time. The slowness is good tho. Make sure I got this before shooting ahead type thing.

    • When I stand back and think about your comments and how they have progressed over time I feel like you are really soul-mining and producing the goods. Maybe it is okay to be negative just now because it is hard work? I feel like you are really doing hard-core crysalis-butterfly work just now.
      Before you were a paper tiger in some ways, gorgeously brash but vulnerable? I see nascent true tiger power emerging now.. it’s quiet as night but when it is unleashed there’s nothing like it. I look forward to more Invictus stories ahead, lol.

      • Thank you Sphinx
        Yes, I do feel that way. That is exactly how I feel. I just sorted my tec problems out on my own. I feel I’m breaking through to a whole new level of… I don’t know. Living and making a living rather than hiding away from life. I still have moments of fear but right now I am so energised. That whole power trip from my “ex biz partner” the Barcelona dude really spooked me. When I was telling him about my computer behaving as if it has a virus two days ago he said “are you asking me for help?” to which I replied, “No.” I felt like searing and calling him an asshole but I bit my tongue.
        He said, “maybe you should” it got me thinking about all the stuff he put on my machine and I began to feel really paranoid. I hired a 24/7 tec support team called iyogi. I got a premier 3 year membership meaning I have access to senior tec peeps anytime I want to screen share with me and diagnose any problems for me. They are cleaning my machine and checking for bugs and viruses. From now on no man is ever going to make me feel like I need his “expert” help. I pay people to be my tech help. Thank you VERY much Mars Retro for waking me up before you go go so that Mercury retro don’t keep me hanging on like a yo yo.. I do feel insanely self satisfied and smug right now. Uphil slog was totally worth it. This is the mental equivalent of an exercise endorphin rush and I love it! I got this. I can do this. I’m in charge here. Do not fuq with me. I’m kicking doors down. Happy Mars direct astro homies. I’m off to bed. It’s been a hard days night …You know I feel alright :-)

  29. Whoa
    Just kicked ex “biz partner” out of my life
    with a machete
    not really but I just GOT IT
    The dude was totally Qi vamping me and actively fuqing with my destiny. All his “we need to talk” shitz just started to really piss me off to the point where I didn’t feel like making nice any more.
    I as trying to have little nap between over scheduled day and long over scheduled night (I’m working on a deadline and have social obligations with people I like who make me feel good..
    He just would stop with the snarky texts so I saw red. Literally.
    I have this strange thing lately where I see a line of fire between me and person pissing me off. As if I light a match to an invisible line of gasoline between us. Queue a line a fire. I just said “there is nothing more to discuss. If you genuinely want to steal my IP and run with it because you have the tech skills and I don’t then go for it dude. Knock yourself out. I will not be threatened or cajoled into your emotional quagmire. Own your shit and stop projecting it onto me. We are done.”
    Then I blocked his no.
    I feel strangely energised by this and am going back to work on this piece I’m writing. He has probably done some malicious shit like erasing all my research material and collected media from our shared server because he can which means I will miss the deadline for my Bitchflicks piece but so what? I’d rather he did it now than later. There will be other articles to write if thats the case. I need to be super clear about who is team me and who is pretending to be team me. I got used to fuq the haters. Now I’m learning fuq the phoney supporters. I can do this on my own. I don’t need anyone’s help. Least of all some jerk who approached me online offering his help for free. The sunscreen song..

  30. Taking your daily astro into account Mystic before Mars goes direct, still can’t help this one..

    My new fave…in between re-reading some Seth, meditation and some other self help book that eludes me right noweven tho I been reading it between all the other stuff…Yes, shit zappin’ and clickin’

      • “Life Makeovers” by Carol Richardso, life coach. .Came across it when I was cleaning out my room because recently it was being painted.

        An oldie but a goodie. Printed in 2000. She was often on Oprah.

        Have always loved Seth. I am reading A Seth Reader…a conglomeration of his writings by Richard Roberts (not Robert Butts…her husband…can get confused).

        He says that our race must evlove or it will not endure.x

  31. Let me share my gold from Mars retrograde with you… :)
    It has been a long 11 week slog

    During the retrograde, I realised – I have anger problems. Big anger problems. Because I was *never* angry. It was all repressed, underground – choking and strangling the river of my vitality and creativity – for years repressed and depressed, and I couldn’t even see it. (Mars in Aries here, with retrograde natal Mars, retrograde Mercury and retrograde Saturn… what an internalised ball of red bile!)

    Yes there were tests: the very aggressive scary Qi Vamp who made me cower for months, who pushed every single button and ones that I did not know I had… Waiting, ducking blows, until the time was right and I stood up on my back-legs like a she-bear and strongly (but civilly) roared at her in defence of my BF, then called out every trick in the book she was using. The QV then disappeared like melting snow in the Martian warmth. (“Arigatou zaishou” – thank you illusion, as Clarissa Pinkola Estese would say in her story of the Rage Filled Bear. )

    I realised that:

    Mars retrograde – you examine why you do things, how you do things and when you do things. Your habits and strategies. I realised what little energy I had was driven by feelings of inadequacy and lack of self-worth, that I had to struggle to earn my right to be allowed to exist and my high achieving bravado “I’ll show them” was based on this flimsy foundation.

    and:

    *** I do not have to be nice to people or curry favour, especially if they are condescending and rude to me first. When I had lunch with my BF’s critical, privileged father and his “Hyacinth Bucket” stepmother – who both openly criticised my BF *in front of me* for not going to his step-brothers wedding, but for visiting my family instead – I remained poised, dignified and civil. In my strength and gracious, without a shred of obsequiousness. Warm, but not over friendly. After all, their behaviour reflects on them and has nothing to do with me. I chose to remain on my own elegantly amiable ground. Unruffled. Unshaken. Not budging under fire.
    … And the very next day, his father rang my BF to apologise for his behaviour, to me as well. (Totally out of character I’m told)

    *** I can take little hits and laugh (like Henry Rollins in The Iron) and not get so upset and uptight and outraged and offended that, yes, there are people out there who are unscrupulous and ignorant and see me as a threat or hindrance or target. Good for them (which translates as f*** you). It was those routine little hits and blows that would have me curled up paralysed for days, months…years…

    *** If I am “up” and people are “down”, particularly people who were once “over me” – I don’t need to compensate or kowtow to reassure them so they don’t feel threatened by me (which just makes them more oppressive anyway). The wheel of fortune moves for everyone and I praise my hard work for improving my life and deserve my good fortune.

    *** Question the source of authority aka “The Man” is often a little wizard behind a curtain. Don’t knee-jerk to obey strong words and official looking scary letters. I was giving a parking ticket after I paid full price to park in a private parking lot. I then learned it was a scam, they had been convicted of misleading business practices and learned how to challenge them. Where I was once outraged that they would do stuff like falsisfying evidence, (you can’t blame the arse for farting, that’s what crooks do) …. Where once I would quake in fear at this big overwhelming entity greater than me, there was only a little ant.
    “There will always be ants at your picnic, but you don’t give away the entire park to the ants. You protect your potato salad the best you can” (Iyanla Vanzant) and get on with it. That’s life.

    *** Leaving the “authority” of my friends (some who mocked and criticised the changes I was making, stepping into my own power and success)…. to take my own authority. That was hard. Lonely, too.

    *** Sitting with discomfort, little niggling fears that white-ant you. Then setting strong boundaries for my headspace and lifespace when I got strong enough.

    So:
    My life force, which I struggled for years – started to dislodge when I removed those neurotic defences against unleashed agression buried deep in my psyche (no, it does mean I will attack everyone in a red mist if I remove it – discernment.) De-identified from all the years of victimisation and re-identified with the Source witihin (that could make an entire post in itself).

    Anger was my taboo. My unspeakable – don’t go there. Never get angry.
    But anger is necessary – it brings life and to repress it is to strangle life.
    Anger is not evil in itself, it has a purpose – it alerts you to when your boundaries are being violated. It is the *expression* of anger where one must be cautious, conscious and mindful.

    —————————
    The unexpected gifts and lessons learned from this Mars retrograde period was tapping into a strong sense of self-worth and that one must be strong to be truly compassionate.
    ————————–

    Happy Mars Direct everyone! xoxo

    • Awesome revelations here! I heartily agree with everything, especially the note about anger being a necessary emotion that alerts us to an invasion to our boundaries. Wise and perceptive insights. i need as much as i can gather for a pending “terms of agreement” meeting I have coming up.

  32. Oh brother Mars wherefore art thou been? Back from the briefing in the boardroom and ready for action. The armory is stocked, tools at the ready. Your Daily Mystic came in the nick of time this morning! My erstwhile Aries moon friend/neighbor (weird chanting one) and I finally met in the garden walkway after an 11week Cold War. She immediately started ripping into me. I vibed as high as I could and resisted the urge to accuse and insult her back. Whoa. Now for that boardroom meeting. Considering whether an arbiter would be appropriate. Wish me luck!!! Really want a positive resolution to this.

  33. Ahhhh.. just got off the phone with the hiring manager discussing a job opportunity. Not feeling good about it. The hiring manager said to me “I think you would be bored”. How do you explain to someone that you won’t be bored as long as my manager is instrumental in training me properly then leaving me a lone to release my talent. So, I said “really?.. I thought the job description was very challenging”..

    They said they had 3 other candidates to talk to. She asked me if I have other job opportunities. I said yes.. I am actively looking.

    Pessimistic Virgo here thinks it wouldn’t pan out. BUT.. Mystic gave me a good reading on work and June will be the time I will hear something.

    Bring it!! xo!!

  34. My take TLS,

    Her half bird beak third eye ensamble with feathers atop, is so she can download to peeps from ‘the cloud’ to Kindle….”Return of the Bird Tribes”

    We do know that The Cloud has actually been refered to, since ancient times, as the White Light of the Soul…

    Not a digital fuk, yeah?

    • double “r”….Spirit don’t care if you know how to spell or not…but just in case some are not spiritual…

      kidding…x