Once Upon A Qi Vampire

Filed in Astro-Query

art woman superheroes overlaid on face

Dear Mystic,

i see a lot of talk about Love Zombies on this site – not complaining :lol: – but less so about Qi Vampires, apart from in the Horoscopes. Your Qi Vampire Alerts are crazy accurate BUT i have realized recently that i used to be a Qi Vampire. I had a particularly bad example of one in my life and around that last Full Moon Eclipse, it all came to a head and i had to just end the whole association.

It had gotten to the point that 95% of our dialogue was about her and i was racing out of important meetings to talk her down about her washing machine crisis. Or that she was emotional because of some cooked up crisis. She owed me money. She owed me time. She was constantly being “familiar” in a way that was actually really really creepy.

It is a long story but what came with my Pluto transit was that this is how i USED to behave.  I would see people that had something i wanted and try to force-feed myself into their lives.

Hideously, i can now see that i once operated on a 24-7 automatic drama setting and made insane demands of nearly everyone around me. If they were not met straight away, i would freak and set about trying to make the other person feel an appropriate amount of guilt.

I think Qi Vampires – like Love Zombies – have no idea of how awful they are being and that you cannot understand it till later, after they have recovered.  Now i am so aware of not being that person that i err on the other side – being really respectful of boundaries.

My question: is there an astrological signature for Qi Vampires – I am Sagittarius with Neptune on my Sun and Pisces Rising – and is there any officially good way to handle them or recognize if you are being one and pull yourself out? Could we 12 Step this?

Sagittarius Qi Vampire In Recovery

Dear Sagittarius Qi Vampire In Recovery,

I think you have hit on the answer within your question – as Sagittarians tend to do!  A Pluto transit is an epic “cure” for any form of subconscious driven behavior – be it Zombie or Vampire.  Likewise, Saturn – the Delusion Buster. Combine the two with a double whammy Saturn-Pluto transit and voila – the spell is broken. The feathers fall off. The eyes open. As the beautiful but sombre Theodore Roethke poem goes, In a dark time the eye begins to see.

Chaos Addiction is, of course, one of the key symptoms of both Love Zombies and Qi Vampires. In the case of the first, the very simple case of “not that into you” gets spun into a vast epic saga spanning lifetimes and continents, complete with some simple homie being recast as Lancelot or whatever.

In the case of our Qi Vampires, their every basic incompetence or usual life condition becomes your problem. Not only that but they slither into your life like something slimy from another dimension oozing through the thin crack under your door at night while you sleep your lucid dreams.

This is going to sound really random but you know how you put a line of salt across your threshold for protection – i think that “accidents” occur with salt when you have a Qi Vampire in your life. I have always dropped salt shakers or had the top fall off so the whole bottle empties onto a plate or something strange with salt when that sort of energy is around.

Salt is the most basic way to perform a quick spiritual cleanse. Even more effective when combined with a smudging but you just fling salt around and then vacuum it up.  So far as self-diagnosis of Qi Vampery goes, i am not sure.

What does everyone else think?  Salt? Symptoms? Cures? Stories? Indicators?

 

 

Image: Sandra Chevrier

168 thoughts on “Once Upon A Qi Vampire

  1. ” In the case of the first, the very simple case of “not that into you” gets spun into a vast epic saga spanning lifetimes and continents, complete with some simple homie being recast as Lancelot or whatever.”

    lolol. Perfect.
    Guilty. But I’m Venus-Neptune! In the 8th! I was born to be a Love Zombie. So much of my inspiration comes from delusion.

    I have sympathy for Qi Vampires because they are usually just people in pain who have not figured out how or maybe are not ready to resolve it. All my addiction stuff was very quiet and locked away/isolating, hurting myself. I don’t mind people asking for help as long as they are self aware to some degree and at least have a desire to be constructive…fear of being a Qi Vampire (the result of being hurt by some) has kept me from asking for help in the past. Gotta have a balance.

    • Fear of facing our own darkness and not wanting it to swallow us whole. Then one day we realise there’s a way out…

    • I love the whole dissection of the LZ thung! Because theres lots of LZ enabling schizz out there, movies like Sleepless in Seattle, where she hears a voice on the radio, prompting her to travel across the continent to pursue some guy she has never met and has never previously heard of, who is dating someone else, while she herself is engaged to be married. LZ hello? Lets have everyone who has travelled through their own dark (K)night of the LZ nightmare (Sadges recently recovered from their Pluto transit hells especially!) to give out their own cures, help any advice …. Mine …. getting a good meditation,art practice, journalling thing going, that and the realisation that what I really wanted was actually a closer relationship with myself. And I think any form of clutter clearing, detox diet or clean slate start over is epic for any Pluto transit. What about you Mystic? Any astro advice for Pluto transits from hell?

      • but it was the 90s! rom com! meg ryan with her fabulous 90s tousle! a houseboat! she’s a scorpio! c’moonnnnnnn :D

    • I got entangled with one at work…yuk, hard to get rid of like the proverbial on a shoe. She’s still trying her drama shit on anyone who will listen. meet some as neighbours, who know nor respect no boundaries, end up taking it to court to contain them, sigh,** time consuming and expensive. Am a taurus, doomed to meet idiots who want to be validated by appalling behaviour and lies

  2. Wow – I really like the way this message is written. A certain person being “familiar in a really creepy way”. That’s a description I too have used in Qi Vampire situations.

    Just the whole description above is so bang-on, really.

    Qi Vampiring, like Love Zombie-ing, is obviously a cheap form of bonding. But when it inevitably falls to bits because stronger people don’t want to put up with it anymore, the Qi Vampire or Love Zombie feels *actually, factually* hurt and alone.

    This is tricky, because when someone is sincerely hurt, they may start being honest. But when that situation passes, they’re back to the chaos that you don’t want to be part of.

    You’ve got to catch it early… and run away!

    • I’m going to respectfully disagree with you here about the cheap form of bonding. Usually the Love Zombie there is no actual bond formed. The LZ is trying to make one where none existed and none is likely to exist. The Qi vamp can only be a qi vamp if there is something to suck dry which means the target had to form some kind of alliance in the first place. Qi vamps don’t normally waste time on a particular friendship/relationship that hasn’t given them what they wanted at least once. They will quickly leave normally and seek out other relationships that feed their need. So in that way, the Qi Vamp is hella smarter an more efficient than the LZ in that that it doesn’t try to extract blood from a stone.

        • Thinking there is a bond is not the same thing as actually having one. It’s like thinking you have a car. Can one actually get a ride or drive a car one thinks they have? no. (Although sometimes I do imagine myself riding around in a sporty car. Feels totes real.) True bonds or relationships are two way. The LZ is attempting to make a new bond or keep a bond that previously existed alive. Both situations are totally necro!

          The Qi Vamp actually has a live and functional bond, twisted as it might be. They have to have live prey.

          • I totally get what you’re saying, but maybe I’ll just give an example.

            A male Qi Vamp from my life, years ago, an acquaintance from university. He had moved interstate and he’d come back every 6 months or so for family things and want to catch up with me too – I couldn’t work out why he singled me out, but frankly, it’s just because I gave him the time of day.

            I went to a couple of AFL matches with him (I’m stressing here that I just happened to be standing beside him, drinking a beer; I consciously kept him at arm’s length), whereas everyone else was already totally done with him.

            He would just constantly talk about his problems in this needy, draining way. He wanted attention and respect, but would never put himself out for anyone. When he;d leave jobs, he’d burn the bridge with petulant “Let me just say what I think of YOU…” speeches that would make listeners groan.

            When it came to the point when I had to say – “no, look, you seem to think we’re extremely close friends, but we are not” it really came out that he honestly thought there was this huge history and bond. He never picked up on my aggravation with him, or the fobbing-off I did of him. Or how I would say, “No, I’m busy…” He would say “I’m really trying harder at this friendship than you – you’re hurting my feelings”.

            I’d think “GOD, just because you talk continuously while we’re watching a football match does not make us life-long friends!

            So maybe that’s a sub-set: a bond-delusional Qi Vamp.

            • Good point! There could be a sub-set after all or maybe he falls into the category I had talked about below who was a Qi Vamp – LZ hybrid!

      • I have respectfully disagree with you Libran babe, i have experienced a relationship that was the absolute dictionary definition of Love Zombie and Qi Vampire but the bond was real, and still is.

        2 years. He a saturn return and Pluto on his venus and me Pluto on my moon and saturn in 7th.

        Oh not to mention his sun on my north node my venus on his.

        Aaaaaanyway all of the above. Familiarity in each other it was the most toxic and beneficial two years we both woke up eventually, I think I did before hea no now he has.

        Is till think of him everyday and I still feel a strong connection but i feel there must of been a past life connection, something karmic. But it’s finished now, the bond was and still is real.

        • Totally valid. I have heard of this LZ-ing where the relationship starts out real and then should just die but it doesn’t. :(

          Also it depends what you mean by “real”. Were you guys married?

  3. So hear you. Sagg – from a fellow Sag
    …loving my salt bath & smudges with obsidian for strength right now! (Balancing old qi vampish retaliation toward ex/ not really ever – thx to NASTY April eclipse season :( which brought up scene with another ex…husband eek!!!!

    So .in answer ? Beware Cancerian Lancelots. Clingy. Zingy. Moody…..then gone! Saggies..Let’s all rest from this galloping away now :) Aaaaah

    Yes .a time for recalibration and balance indeed x

    • I was reading this through thinking….do I even relate here, what am I doing reading this?..then BANG Cancerian Lancelots….Really? Someone else knows a Cancerian Lancelot?. I KNOW ONE, KNew one, was left by one…… And I have been fighting my tendency for Love Zombie-ing ever since. I love a good psych battle (Scopio sun, Aries moon), and think facing your addictions to ‘Love’ … well.. its all worth it… We all got the tendencies…I reckon. I am totally getting some salt happenign here…next door neighbour a Qi vampire in the most subtle of ways (like I feel it energetically, yet for all accounts and purposes she is maintaining boudaries)…we shared a meal one night and the salt was overloaded… LIke noticeably (and I dont really notice shit like that)… Hmmm..

    • I’m worry sagges! (I’m a triple stellium) for all the qi vampires in our lives!

  4. Just re the salt… I agree that it is so purifying. Incredible. I have definitely put salt across the threshold before. Oh yes.

    Randomly (and not being facetious) – I dropped Cinnamon the other day. I wonder what that could denote?

    (And yes, I know that literally it meant I was about to eat porridge. I’m ok with that side of it!)

  5. Much, much harder situation when Qi Vampire is your mother. Not like a boyfriend/gf or friend you can flick or sidestep. And the decision to remain in relationship – though testing, trying, hellish at times, draining, utterly exhausting & infuriating – has been a rollercoaster of emotions, and of learning. Boundaries are useful!!!
    Most difficult relationship of my whole life. My brother no longer speaks to her & has cut contact. She is alone and no doubt feels lonely, and at times miserable. Extremely hard to stay true to oneself and health/sanity, and not get sucked into their drama & knowing you can’t help the person totally out of the mess that they have created until they are willing to at least meet halfway, and the deep dark holes that engulf them; we can try and spread the light around; protect ourselves, and have some compassion, but — can’t save another soul from themselves!!…….. it’s very sad, and I have to try to be Zen about it all.

    • I am in exactly the same situation with qi vamp mother. Just laid down the law.

    • This is very much like what goes on with my Qi Vamp mother. And there is nothing anyone can do to help her. For a long time I thought just giving her a little company every week would make a difference, but I always just ended up feeling overwhelmed by anger, sadness, guilt, anxiety and resentment.

      And I grew up isolating myself and keeping my feelings locked in, because if I ever confided in her she would dramatize it as if it were her own problem, tell all her friends and family, and use it to get attention from them.

      She was not always really extreme — it always depended on her anxiety/depression levels. When she was okay, she was great. When things were bad, she could be like a Stephen King villain (Carrie’s mom / the Misery woman).

      In her astro, she has a major Leo stellium square a major Scorpio stellium — attention seeking clashing with power issues.

    • My mum is the same. Interestingly so is my husband. And my first husband. In the saturn/pluto assault etc of recent times it has forced me to look at the common factor – me! My behaviour was encouraging them. I have now become the authentic me that all of Mystic’s advice has pointed to. I feel really good about that – whole at last, although it has been a harrowing process. It has prompted a second divorce and a mother who is now staying at arms length. Boundaries you see, which neither of them respect. Amongst other things. Certainly the marriage will never recover. Maybe the mother/daughter will, but as it’s been that way for over 40 years I don’t think there is enough time.
      Good luck – to all of us

      • Brave 5 scorps & sag, and authentically you!! Fantastic, so good – am getting there too – & yes – Mystic’s advice and wisdom has been invaluable in helping light the way at times.

        • I’m sorry sagges (I’m a triple stelliun) for the qi vampires in our lives!!

    • I come from a long line of qi vampires on both sides–that’s where I come by it. I consider myself “recovering,” but if I ever get into another romantic relationship again I am sure I will go off the wagon into sheer smothering insanity, because that’s what happens.

      I can’t get away from my mother either–she’s needy as hell but there’s nobody else to provide for her (or me) and nobody else is going to stick by me but her. So I’ll stay forever and put up with it to infinity because we’re pretty much married.

    • Oh I have the same thing. Years ago my brother got sucked into her neediness after my dad died. He went out of his way to help her recover and get her post – dad act together. She rewarded him by accusing him of trying to steal her house (he was trying to set up a trust for the house) and because of her anxiety and neediness he lost his job. Not a thank you not a I’m sorry from her nothing. She keeps throwing her justification of how he should be grateful to her because she had to take him to the emergency room as a child with asthma attacks..As if that was optional. Anyway she is 10 years older now
      Doesn’t get why her son doesn’t call, come by etc. She was and is extremely verbally abusive to him. It’s now my turn to serve her and after having a very trying summer last year I have learned to set her straight, set my boundaries and develop a healthier relationship. She is a massive energy and time suck plus I can never let my guard down because she can turn into a mad woman in a heartbeat spewing all sorts of vitriol at whoever is in striking distance . It doesn’t take much to set her off either. I have been taking salt baths and spraying myself with smudge spray so much I must have smelled like a walking Christmas tree the other day.

      Thank Heavens I am. Libra sun Gemini Moon Aqua rising…..The air helps me stay as neutral and emotionally distant. But I did learn a lot from my older brother’s experience. Meanwhile my younger brother does no wrong but he doesn’t really do anything either. Lives with her rent free grocery free but he’s perfect in her eyes. Totally disfunctional.

  6. Totally guilty of being a Qi Vamp myself once upon a time AND surrounding myself with them. Total Qi Vamp Immersion. Not recommended. Very bad for health on all levels.

    Self diagnosis begins with a very simple trend… Does it just seem to happen that it’s everyone else’s fault why things go wrong in your life?

    That was how I cured myself. Suddenly I realised that it really was a case of pointing one finger out = all other fingers pointing back at myself.

    Everything is our own creation and responsibility. Nothing is ever any one else’s “fault”. It doesn’t matter what others do, what matters is what you think, do or say.

    Of course, having just written that, I can just imagine a Qi Vamp who uses personal dev as an excuse for drama but really, that’s just banging the same pattern, just changing the focus.

    I have a zero tolerance for drama now, in my own life in any form, self or others. That really works as a fabulous Qi Vamp repelling charm. I haven’t attracted any in years.

    • A lot is us allowing this into our lives. We endure what we have invited in. I remember thinking at my lowest Qi vamp moment that this was not the person I wanted to be. I had to totally remove myself.
      These last two years have been sobering on do many levels

      • I totally agree with what you said, totally in line with everything being our own creation. I had the same moment as you, “Is this who I want to be?” And I totally removed myself too, and basically just ruthlessly edited out everyone who drained me. I know there were people who edited me out too and I’m glad they did. They stopped enabling me to continue being a Qi Vamp, more power to them.

        But don’t you just feel so much freer and happier now that you’ve done that? I know I do!

        • Yes definitely.

          A change had to happen. And it’s like a burden has been lifted.

          I’m thankful to those who didn’t entertain my draining ways and also those who were draining me for not trying to hang on. There’s no bitterness or residual resentment.
          We just called time on outdated behaviours. And I think we’re all doing better for it.

        • thats the problem with being on automatic. I have thought a lot about what is the negotiated limit for a friend? and of course that differs on the boundaries of the person. But what if you really need a hand? its a tough call. There are vamps from no love fighting real heartache and serious emotional pain not meaning to hurt and suck dry and then there are drama addicts who just won’t grow up. It totally differs person to person but its more important to go within and pull weeds. Admitting is the first stage though like you say, self reflection is key x

          • I totally agree Ms. “Qi Vamp” can be expressed as “a collection of behavioral patterns that result in draining others” which can be conscious/deliberate or unconscious.

            The collection of behavioral traits can be very similar but the motivations or root causes can differ wildly on a broad spectrum as you described.

            Personally I have come to realise however that most times, in serious cases of Qi Vamps, regardless of intent or root cause, it is simply more healthy to remove myself swiftly. I don’t even bother to explain any more. I’ve found that tends to cause only more trouble. {Nobody likes being told they are a pain}

            If a person is determined in his or her dedication to self-improvement, the mere exit of a friend should be enough to cause them to self-reflect on what actually happened.

            I know it took me several years from my teens into my 20s to realise the harsh truth but it was pivotal.

  7. I had that happen just after the Virgo housemate moved in … the salt grinder top thingy came off mid grind leaving my yet to be eaten dinner covered in a pile of rock salt …

    … even more irritating? I wondered if the reason said salt grinder top thingy had come off was because Virgo housemate had developed a sudden fetish for cleaning it. This would not suprise me as he frequently develops sudden fetishes for cleaning and or/moving things in a bizarre OCD display of neurotic low Virgo that makes me want to flush his fuqing head down the toilet to clean his stoopid Virgo brain.

    Cut a long story short, the guy is definitely a Qi Vampire. He mooches, he’s slimy, he fair oozes neediness sometimes. There’s just something basically off about him, even though he’s not bad enough of a Qi Vamp to require physical removal. I’ve learned to block him energetically speaking (in a nice way).

    • Was this the one you fancied, or a different one ?

      My Virgo Mr Triffid cleans…. oh ! how he cleans….. looking harried, while rearranging things so I can’t find them later….

        • Heh heh heh. Good thing you didn’t jump his bones then. Nothing more off-putting than a man who insists on a dettol douche before he’ll go near your ladybits….

  8. My nearest and dearest *really* oversalted his hashbrowns with rocksalt after he got absolutely savaged by a Qi Vampire who had been plagueing him for months – and I, summoning my repressed Mars, firmly sent her packing never to return. He cooked himself some soul food. Only a few weeks ago he told me “I was overreacting” when my Plutonic bad vibe radar was screaming ALERT ALERT to such an obviously brazen boundary fiend…vicariously stalker feeding off our sweet sweet new romance energy!

    Picked up a most awesome book about the human aura from the TS bookshop last weekend… I shant let my energetic housekeeping slide again!

    • I loved everything about this post especially “absolutely savaged” and “shan’t”. Applause. Laughed very loudly.

    • o_O sounds intriguing. Any particular morsels you’ve gleaned from the aura book you find worth sharing?

      • Cheers Ampersand. :)

        Well, the book is “The Human Aura – How to Activate and Energise your Aura and Chakras” by ‘Kuthumi’ and ‘Djwal Kul’. It looks very technical with complex diagrams, talk of ascended masters and rituals, but there are some very valuable nuggets within.

        The first is the friendly reminder that keeping yourself psychically protected is a matter-of-fact business that should be regularly attended to. Like putting on a coat in cold weather. This constant upkeep is not done out of fear or paranoia – more like routinely brushing your teeth to keep them healthy.

        I did like the diagrams of people with muddied auras. Most seem to be benign, just dominated by mass mind/consciousness and some are “hooked” into into other people sympathetically (not compassionately) and easily swayed that way. Some are full of anger and are easily triggered, or all mechanically intellectual but with no true light of illumination within. There is one picture of the “black magician”, who the author claims holds a high position in their government, surrounded by dark energy and overwhelming others with their will. Rare, I hope! (The idea of developing a similar level of white light consciousness and challenging them sounds awesome though…)

        There are many exercises to keep your aura and chakras infused with divine love and light but the main one given is “invoking the violet flame and tube of light”. I’ve been told that violet light is like spiritual antiseptic, and the same person told me that white light *attracts* negativity – best imagine yourself encased in a silver cocoon like one of those bladders inside a cask of wine. With so many opinions, I guess you have to do your own independent investigation into the truth!

        I have let my guard down a few times, like when my boyfriend recommended a beautician that his “very sensitive” ex went to. The Qi Vamping that went on there was so egregious as to be farcical! (Like when someone attempts to deceive you in such a blatant and puerile way, you can only smirk and shake your head at them).

        I guess the main message is just be conscious and aware, where ever you go and what ever you do, and make the time and effort to maintain your aura/chakras/protection on a daily basis. Like a leaky roof on a rainy day, the time to think about fixing it is NOT when you really need it! :)

        Does anyone else have tips of their own?

        • Maybe you can go through times where you feel you need to be conscious constantly, cleansing daily and that’s fine. It’s a process of really being aware of every fibre of your being.
          But eventually you also build your energetic body up I think? So if you have some bacteria floating about and then things get overwhelming, yeah, you could ‘catch’ a cold (or become vulnerable to others).
          But if your immunity is good and every now and then you detox, cleanse it need not be a daily practice?

          I just focus on sending out a pink or green love bomb, love is like bicarb of soda of body house-keeping. So multi-purpose! Seems the act of using that vibration cleanses automatically. Plus the heart is the most powerful electromagnetic power centre of the body. I don’t cocoon any more as I rarely need it as I don’t work in an office etc. (Also it isn’t good if I am working doing energy work to cocoon as I need to be open and exposed to do any good). But it’s nice to create a lovely gold shield or net around your cocoon and watch it harden, then tap the edges! It’s a tangible *dong* and really works.

          But the above sounds good! I love me some ultraviolet light projected through my ajna/3rd eye chakra, v. cleansing plus you can cleanse objects in your environment that way too. I always cleanse properly before cocooning btw, or it’s like being in a dirty bath. :)

          • Awesome. :) Some great tips there I might like to try out. I really do admire your bicarb analogy (Vesta ascendant here).

            I did forget to mention that the book places the most emphasis on the heart chakra/centre as the most important source of radiant protection!

            It also mentions the “hidden chamber of the heart” (different to the heart chakra), describing it as the “soul’s of point of contact with the divine” containing a three-fold flame of Love, Wisdom and Power. (I thought of the Legend of Zelda’s tri-force when I read that…)

            You’ve also given me a brainwave, like you said: rather than “cocooning” as your shield (from the outside-in, retreating)… perhaps a better way is to “radiate” your shield from (from the inside-out, reaching out). A cocoon would benefit only you or several individuals doing it, but radiating a shield could have a more positive effect on your environment and those around you. Multiply that if others do the same. Just juggling around some ideas…

      • Mix-up at the start of that comment, my bad Triple Toro/Fish Rising 0:-)

        • My friend recently told me her niece who is into spiritually had visited her house after we had shared reiki. Her niece told her that I had a purple aura. My reiki master, now sadly passed, told me once I had some powerful old spiritual ones protecting me, and she also mentioned purple or violet light. I imagine it to be like amethyst crystals colour. When I want to protect myself energetically I imagine myself inside a bubble of white or golden light. Would love to see auras!

        • No worries! All this information has been very…enlightening. :) It’s nice to have different avenues for my mind/body/spirit to explore, especially now with the Taurean challenge in full swing. So many wise folk in one place…mentors of all walks of life on this site.

    • energetic housekeeping.

      gold

      yeah its the thing you can’t let slip but we all do
      well most of us. what is this book prey tell??

  9. I remember once reading on this site that crossing the ocean was the ultimate in salt barrier.

    And it proved true – to de zombie myself and to see Qi vamps who were circling for what they were.

    strangely it was all air signs :
    gem: I would turn into drama junkie around her
    Aqua: I was his pro bono therapist for four years
    Libra: pass agg ‘creepy familiarity ‘ (that term is so spot on)

    I can’t remember the transit but June 2011 is when it happened. I went overseas for two weeks. Came back and conducted a no mercy cull. Had to cut all contact. Been much happier ever since. Like I’m off the drama drugs.

    • I wish that was true, I moved to Europe to escape a abusive ex and he picked up and followed me there!

        • You could say he is hellbent.
          The only thing that works is ignoring him, then when he crosses the line again via fb/email I have to report him and start all over again.
          He feeds off of negative attention.
          He contacts my friends on fb and tries to get to know anyone I know, he is relentless, unemployed and clinically mentally ill so he lots of time on his hands to cause trouble.

      • He belongs in a whole new category. Salty water will only be a solution if it’s full of sharks and he gets dropped in it.
        I’m sorry you had to go through that.

  10. Salt & Water. Makes & breaks a spell. A spell being just a though from that has solidified.

    No vamps in my life, not anymore, they have been peeled off, the suckers.

    You know after you have had connection with them, because of a strong desire to sweep/vacuum, bathe, smudge yourself and environment.
    Very very muddy energy.

    • Yup
      You feel them slither in from another dimension through the crack under your door as you dream your lucid dreams.
      Check
      Sense of urgency re smudging, salt baths etc
      Check

  11. Hah! That’s funny about the salt. I was befriended/used by a Qi Vampire once, and recognizing her as such, I tried desperately to avoid her, but because of a peculiar set of circumstances, I was almost forced to let her in to my life. She was a force of nature, a pro amongst Qi Vampires – I called her The Succubus. Anyhow, she had loads of food taboos and fetishes and salt was one of her taboos. She claimed that humans didn’t need it and threw a huge wobbly once when she saw me using it for cooking. I, of course ignored her, (I don’t eat processed junk, and live in a hot and humid climate where I sweat when I exercise) so continued to use it sparingly when she wasn’t looking. And on TWO separate occasions the lid of the salt container came off and I spilled a large amount into a casserole and the second time into a salad. This had never happened to me before ever, and I was really nervous thinking that she’d notice the extra saltiness, but instead she guzzled it down as if she were a starving animal and claimed that they were the tastiest meals ever….You might be on to something here, Mystic.

  12. As a natal Love Zombie I have to say that we mostly know that we are doing it. On some level, we know it’s sort of impossible or a long shot to have our wish because of how much difficulty is involved in getting anywhere due to the other person’s indifference or whatever. But it’s like compulsive gambling that gets a person into debt, you are gonna roll it anyways because even a 2% chance of success sounds like great odds in your favour. Also, what is the result if you don’t succeed? Oh you wasted some time, presh warbdrobe, etc… The punishment is almost never quite enough to NOT do it again if you are a natal Love Zombie.
    For those who are going through a LZ transit, yeah they’ll wake up and be WTF???

    But you want to know what can temporarily cure a natal LZ besides Saturn and Pluto transits? A LZ actually getting what he/she wants and realizing that it wasn’t worth it. When the other person we worked so hard to get, suddenly actually wants us back. Seeing all their cracks and imperfections, etc… just kills the LZ mirage. Sort of like that cat chasing Pepe Le Pew. But rarely does it ever happen, but it’s happened to me before.

    Qi vamps. I think it’s just super needy folks with poor boundaries. They don’t realize they have their own energy supply within their own selves that they seek it in others. I’ve always thought of Qi Vamps as cut off from their own selves. Almost lacking courage to self-explore but plenty of courage to go up to other people. I wonder if they find being still and quiet and present by themselves scary or not? I don’t spend a lot of time around them, because as soon as I can sense one in my life, I “play dead” and distance myself. The absolute worst one was a combo LZ and Qi Vamp who turned out to be a friend of mine that I had to destroy objects he had given me a couple of years ago. So I’ve met some but they don’t wreck my life as much as my own LZ delusions do.

    But fuq yeah combo Qi Vamp-LZ hybrids exist!!! He had a bunch of Cancer in his chart.

    We can have a salt tasting party!

      • We could have grey salt, red salt, black salt, pink salt, blue salt…. i was just at Whole Paycheck the other day and never realized how many different kinds of salt there were.

        • There’s an awesome spice shop in Melbourne that has a bunch of different types of salt – I got my sister in law some merlot salt as part of her birthday present last year. They also had smoked salt which smelled amazingly detoxifying.

            • It’s in the Block Arcade in the CBD… Lemme find the name of the shop.

              http://www.gewurzhaus.com.au

              There are a few others scattered around the suburbs too. It’s a great place to spend some leisurely browsing time. The staff really know their stuff :-)

              • Thank you! I will check it out as I really want a wooden shesh besh board or backgammon set for my birthday from the arcade too. Arcades been on my mind. :)

                • Whoops that was me! I keep forgetting to sign in ATM.

                  The Block Arcade is awesome! I love all of that area around that part of Collins Street in the city – so many great shopping nooks! Let me know what you think of the spice shop!

  13. Not so long ago whilst contemplating Q vampires, I came up with the fun game of ‘misery challenge’. It works like this, Qvampire starts on their tale of woe, let them bang on for awhile, then interrupt with “you thinks that’s bad…(eg. I just broke my fingernail)” or “if it’s any consultation …(eg. I didn’t get to see the last episode of breaking bad). It’s fun and it works.

  14. What about a woman who demands to be center of attention all of the time? I’d call her a narcissist, other may just say she’s a typical extroverted, materialistic American aka Queen Bee.
    But, if you are NOT complimenting her or kissing her ass (as all her friends do) then she’ll exclude you from parties and events. She is very petty about it. It’s very exhausting knowing her, she doesn’t accept part time friends, but her energy leaves me depleted, weak and even sick after being around her once every three months.
    She needs an entourage, groupies and must be surrounded by people all the time. (No she’s not famous either)
    She refuses to respect anyone as her equal everyone must be under her, and kissing ass.

    • There’s also some peeps with borderline personality disorder too that display some of this behavior.

      • It’s quite possible…she can throw huge fits when drunk, and has gotten violent.
        But, she thinks she is a “rockstar” and demands special treatment. It’s exhausting.
        I have to deal with her because, she works in the music industry (business side).
        I just refuse to play games.

        • like fashion, a lot of these people should just have mirrors instead of friends.

          • pretty much. :(
            I try to limit my conversations with her as much as possible.

            • I literally cannot deal with people like that, I go all uber Scorp/Aries and just can’t be nice. Sorry you have to deal with her.

              • It’s pretty normal behavior in the music business, I think I need to stay clear of it. I like to create, write music but I hate the superficial bs business side of it.

    • This really made me think, as someone I thought was a dear old friend invited me to a fun dinner get together with old bosom buddies recently, then completely did not follow up on the details, when where etc.

      Apart from being hurt when I realised she was playing stupid games ( we had a long, fun history) I was totally stumped! Why the fuq would you bother to do it, I mean we’re nearly 50, but it’s like the movie ‘Mean Girls. Queen Bee alright, and I realise these days, am not cut out for role of courtier/handmaiden.

      May take me some time to carve out an interesting scene of my own, as I’m not so social these days. I diversely know and like a lot of interesting people but I don’t have the knack of bringing them all together the way she does (she’s Sagg, Venus in Aquarius), does great dinner parties and events.

      Scorpiorising it may be harder to make your own scene if this person cuts your access to gigs etc. but I bet you’d find there are others in your crowd who feel the same way about her.

      Over my birthday season in the last couple of weeks, I’ve been shown the friends that do really care about me which totes warmed my heart, guess I will start from there.

      • I read an article that said you only need three good friends. But, it’s nice to be social. Do things you enjoy and risk, you might meet like minded peeps. I’ve recently started volunteering for my local greens candidate and I can already tell I’m going to meet some great people.

        • Yes Gem, it’s true, to have good friends you also need time to be one as well.

          But I do enjoy being social in groups sometimes (aqua 5th house) I find it fun, and it’s great to meet like minds. A friend of mine met her future husband doing Greens events

        • I prefer smaller group of real friends instead crowds of ass-kissers.
          I just hate games that people play, such a waste of time.

        • Yes! Happy Birthday V!! All the best for a wonderful Solar Return beautiful lady!

        • Thanks Scorp and Sphinx :)
          It was quiet and nice, spent with my sis and nephew in Sydney

          I think I want to do a big 50th at my place next year though, I have visions of bunting and artfully arranged lavender and succulents, and a floral tepee out the back, with lanterns hanging off the trees!

          • sounds nice…

            oh gosh… the pressure to celebrate the big FIVE–OH! I’m not sure that I want to. :neutral:

            • Oh a party is not fun if you’re truly not feeling it Scorpy.

              Alternatively, one could go for a mini hol somewhere lovely and spoil yourself a bit

              • Duh of course!!! My Saggo moon loves that. How could i forget!? That’s what I use to do when I was working full time to avoid the fuss. God I hated all the fuss. My Scorp boss use to do the same – take the day or entire week off.

      • I absolutely agree. As Hunter S. Thompson said:
        “The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There’s also a negative side.”
        I know her other friends put up with bs too, but anytime any of us try to hang out w/o her present she flies into a rage.
        It’s insane.
        I just needed to vent. thanks

  15. Recently I was saying my taste for salt has increased. I used to under season my food and now I put a lot on everything. I am creating boundaries.

    I googled chaos addiction recently after reading about it a scope and found a list of (seemingly innocuous) chaos addict behaviors listed such as forgetting wallets and keys in an unconscious attempt to illicit rescuing behavior from others, being chronically late and over scheduling. These create small adrenaline rushes for the chaos addict to tide them over between full blown crisis and dramas. This was very illuminating for me! I don’t know if anyone else has noticed the small warning signs of a Qi vamp….

    • Great idea, I’m gonna google chaos addicts too. Rescue behaviors…. a lot of attention seeking — like a 2year old “see what I can do!” Obligating others to be their lady in waiting, maid, cook, audience, validator, confessor, sympathizer, etc.

    • A lot of the features you mention are common with attention deficit disorder. Perhaps ‘chaos addiction’ is a bit of a judgement call, some may have neuro-biological issues instead.

      • Yes! … never underestimate underlying dietary and biochemical issues when it comes to behaviour. It’s not always psychological …

      • Yes I agree with Mme Sphinx on this, my partner constantly does the wallet keys mess-making thing, and I’m pretty sure ADD, but if I keep things calm and don’t freak out about it, he’s a lot better, and has improved vastly over the years.
        Yes, he can be time consuming, but I get a Lot back also in our relationship. Marsplutouranus in Virgo. I organise the fuq out of him :) poor man.

        I guess you can feel if you’re constantly being emotionally and time -wise drained, with no positive return, you can determine that it’s chaos addiction. As someone else said above, sometimes people are in a really really bad space temporarily with their Chi vamp status

        • I reckon it’s pretty easy to tell the diff between chaos addiction and a biologically based disorder. One just happens because that is the person’s constitution.

          The other because they’ve had some kind of trauma that hung around so long it’s become a part of them. It actually feels more normal to be in chaos than to be calm and grounded. These people can’t help it either … they didn’t deliberately go out of their way to traumatise themselves and it’s only recently that there has been an emphasis on the impact of trauma. However there’s still a lot of ignorance about it and how it manifests … so subsequently some pretty harsh judgement.

          I always pause before casting judgement on other people’s behaviour. Most of the time it’s not deliberate let alone conscious. Even the Virgo housemate I can understand, even though it shits me to tears. He grew up in a household full of nurses. No wonder he’s OCD and neurotic about cleaning and germs and food and god the list goes on … yawn.

          • thank you for this comment. yes, if it’s not the result of some neurochemical thing, it could simply be learned behaviour or an outdated (no-longer-necessary but the person has not been able to reconfigure this) response to early life things.

    • sheesh! being forgetful is not being a chaos addict!!!

      I get that yes sometimes certain kinds of people enmesh themselves in very odd situations that makes someone of more or less rational judgement shake their head in dismay. I know someone like this. but that someone is also kind of messed up (doesn’t make me any more likely to want to sit and help them dig their way out of it any more, but still)

      in this ideal world, are we all gliding around suavely, to do lists perfectly ticked off, keys safely attached with a little carabiner in our perfectly organised handbag, three minutes early for our coffee date and hair neatly brushed? secretly smug smile optional. :not for me.

      • yes I also understand that it is how we choose to deal with situations that determines the impact our behaviour (missing appointments, losing keys / etc) has on others. it takes self awareness to at least second-guess our way out of disorganisation. backup keys, confirm meeting up with a friend an hour before via sms, whatever.

        • well exactly Pi. It takes self awareness. We’re only human and can’t always tick off the boxes perfectly. I’m fairly forgiving but when someone is consistently AND chronically late and does nothing to change after you’ve tried yelling, silence, diplomacy and sitting them down to have a chat about a solution and their only response is “I’m timeless”. And on top of that they make you feel like the baddie for wanting a simple text message to be kept in the loop if they’re going to be late. Not too much to ask is it? A simply courtesy non?

          Well, they can get fuqed!!! LOL

          That was the ex Crab / mars in Crab. A Love zombie AND a Qi Vamp.

          • “I’m timeless” … ?!

            LOL

            time’s up buddy! next..

            gosh he sounds rather self-indulgent with that line.

            • yep. That would be the Leo moon and Venus :roll: Oh yeah… and Jupiter in Libra in the 6th. And Toro rising stubborn. Clearly HIS time more important than anyone else’s :roll:

  16. Great blog, MM. Differentiating between qi vamps and love zombies. What I’ve noticed for myself – the most obnoxious rudest selfish qi vamps that I’ve encountered have been 2 (recently): first one) sun pisces, mars in sag, venus in aqua, moon in cancer, aries rising (with a horrendous amount of inappropriate immoral drama at work; divorced 2nd marriage, screwed around 1st marriage, married the person she was screwing, found a supervisee at work to screw with all 6 years of her 2nd marriage, told her fixed husband that he got her pregnant — yeah right…. — got an abortion — suicidal, etc… all at work — supervisor, management level — “her job got cut” (btw, i was her suicide hotline all of last year, hospitalized, continued cutting in dec 2013), continually lies to her management team…. Second one is a lawyer: sun in scorpio, mars in aquarius, venus in sag, moon in libra, libra rising. These 2 should get together! The lawyer is also off-the-charts liar, doesn’t blink, lies through everything! Both do not understand the meaning of boundaries. Every single interaction w these 2 folks, one has to listen to them drone on about themselves, even at meetings. They continually excuse themselves from meetings early, also arriving late, or not showing up to work atll. When I cut it off (“set my boundaries”), the supervisor continued to literally get in my face with her drama, doesn’t understand the word “NO.” Her last day is june 30. I’m doing my best to avoid her in the office, now that all of sudden she is at work all the time (since her job got cut; although never coming to work in the past 3 years). I have to have faith in that people aren’t stupid — they see, they know, they watch.

  17. As a highly empathic person, this is a rather serious issue. I need to invent a lightweight headpiece that is not only invisible but disperses salt in a circle wherever I walk.

    And then an electrocution system for repeat offenders. Or one just for fun.

    Seriously though, well done for even admitting to BEing a Qi Vamp, so many are and so few do. You nailed it though with the wanting others time/energy instead of being. That urge to suck comes from a vacuum deep within of envy/lonely/self loathing. Its considered normal in this age to achieve our void filling with less desirable emotions that to self create and self actualise.

    LOVE that quote about the dark the eye begins to see. Shivers.

    Over thinking anyone or anything is draining. Love zombies are just non actualising Qi vamps, its most often never about the other. Its human to trigger but its you that has to respond. As a sagg moon I just leave. We create doors in social circumstances where there are none: walls, tents, portals (ok maybe thats more uranian) but I think boundary awareness and assertion is one of the most vital and under acknowledged skills on the planet

    next to motherhood.

    or are they linked? ;)

    • Love your thought: “I think boundary awareness and assertion is one of the most vital and under acknowledged skills on the planet”. YES.

      Frankly, I got into my late twenties without knowing there were people who would approach me as Qi Vamps to ‘drain my resources': my time, my energy, my patience.

      So in a way I was lucky, and in another way I have had to really train myself up fast. I still feel guilty in a way sometimes to have to protect myself from all that. To identify someone as a Qi Vamp is a judgement, and I always try to see nuance and a different side to a situation.

      But when your own joy and energy is at stake, it’s not ‘being friendly’ anymore. You’re in a trap that you need to get out of – and you need to put down boundaries.

      It’s the decision to place the boundaries that is hard. But once they’re there, it’s bliss.

      • Agree with you both so much. Although it took a long time to not see those boundaries as being selfish, I still struggle with it but it’s worth it.

        • but honouring the self is not dominating others its giving your work/world the oxygen to grow. You can’t manifest anything out of some shit guilt or defeated marytr complex. its the most logical kind of love ever really. We fluff it all up calling it self love but really its practical good solid old school home cooking common sense

          • Yes. “Practical” is the key word here. You wanna do your thing? You need to make your priorities work by having enough time and energy to carry them out.

            You’re good!

            • Love zombies are just non actualising Qi vamps,
              Very interesting. This post and comments are profound!

          • My impressions is that for energetic beings without material bodies, secrecy does not exist!
            Yes. That has always been a strong belief of mine too x

          • Yes! This is really true Ms. I’d never thought of it that way before.

    • As a natal LZ, I’m not understanding you completely here: how is a Love Zombie a non actualizing Qi Vamp?
      I don’t really see how the 2 are even related except perhaps focused on the attentions a 3rd party instead of working on themselves. Explanation needed.

  18. MYSTIC

    I just came up with the best pseudo intellectual astrology bitch quote

    “Qi is just backwards for IQ”

    :D

  19. Moon-Mars-Neptune conjunct, I have my LZ tendencies for sure and I’m pretty sure in low moments I have accidentally Chi Vamped too. I think I’m hyper aware enough to know when I’ve done it though or even when I’m doing it, I hope so anyway but who knows? Personal experience with super Chi Vamps, both were very low functioning Virgos. Ugh, just awful. One could literally suck the air out of a room with a hello *shudder*.

    On the LZ side of things, 4 years of Saturn and Pluto transits, with a lot more time left to serve has helped me, so, so, so much. Age has helped too. So has keeping a diary and being able to pinpoint patterns. I honestly think Love Zombie-ing is something that can be worked on and worked around no matter what your astro. She says just about to jump on a plane for 11 hours to go all out with a pretty full on double LZ situation, oh well at least I’m doing my Sag moon this time!

    • Funny! And very Sag moon esp the ending of the comment. Loved it. X

  20. My impressions is that for energetic beings without material bodies, secrecy does not exist!

    In many of our ‘true states’ we see and feel directly the energy of others.

    So many of us, unused to incarnating here, lack the ability to lie.
    Trickery and subterfuge – a new topic to study.
    Elsewhere boundaries are physical sensations – not delicate mental constructs and require deep consideration.

    Perhaps Qi Vamp & Love Zombies are labels that might be applied after taking into consideration with the intent of the person, their nature and their MO be it introvert or extrovert.

    I have struggled with boundaries, I inhabit the boundless wherever and whenever I can! I have struggled with Love Zombiedom – why would we stop loving each other unconditionally? I have had poor boundaries -because I couldn’t feel you through this dense costume.

    • Yeah! … and Pluto or Neptune transits pretty much guarantee a bout of love zombiedom. The cosmos deliberately brings in a bloody person whom one cannot help but fixate on! It’s not fair.

      • Yes, a Pluto/Neptune transit = Cosmic Intervention + Karma = headache learning jag.

    • Of course there is that NN in the 7th, Neptune on the DC (6th) and sticky Saturn conj. Merc/Venus. ;)

    • I agree and I actually take massive issue with the term of “qi vampire” . hideously subjective and like you say “Perhaps Qi Vamp & Love Zombies are labels that might be applied after taking into consideration with the intent of the person, their nature and their MO be it introvert or extrovert.”

      i am an ENFP (more or less) and for me to engage with a similarly oriented saggi/scorp friend is effortless, we have such a joyous time hanging out, shooting the breeze, overanalysing this, or laughing off some other person’s that. seriously, hours pass without us noticing. Then I hang with a multiple 8th house Aqua introvert (INTP i think) friend, and suddenly i am labelled a flakey bimbo who is impossible and can’t possibly have a handle on anything. but maybe I am a pleasant diversion. Well, at least that’s how I think she feels about me, as an 8th house introvert she doesn’t really share her feelings about much. lololol. so you see, if I may take einstein completely out of context (sorry Bertie), it’s all about relativity.

      • i’m not saying some people aren’t genuinely difficult to deal with for one reason or another (or many), but simply that to apply a label to someone who annoys us, means that the “graininess” is removed from the interaction. maybe it prevents us from delving deeper into our own feelings or working out if there are saving graces.. can we learn something from this person in spite of their perceived flaws or weaknesses? (virgo rules my third house… ‘let’s analyse this connection’)
        qi vampires, qi angels qi devils qi .. surfers?

      • I am somewhere between INFP – ENFJ depending on the day. I keep taking online tests and I think I really need a professional one done. I SO get you re the flakey bimbo to one, serious/intense to others, I have Piscean Jupiter on my MC & with Gem Asc, I morph according to the circumstances. Learning to control my morphing/boundaries is a struggle daily! Yes relativity, and it’s beyond Bertie’s control to contain the language as it expands due to his influence!

        • Yes. I just feel (think, even) that we can be SO quick to judge. We toss a person on the scrapheap because of some thing(s) they do or do not do. Instantly the potential for a rich or enriching connection is gone. I could relate my astro to this mindset but cbf.
          I am fairly confident that am sensitive to this because in the past I have been that person thrown on the scrapheap! Now, I don’t give a shit because (a) I have amassed a wealth of divine people whom I passionately adore and care about, even if they are a long away away or the contact is intermittent. I think the regard is mutual; and (b) I just do not care about fitting into someone else’s idea of who I ought to be to them. One of those things people like you and I probably need Sphinx is people who are interested in friends who in fact are changeable and multifaceted. I mean, everyone is multifaceted .. some people more than others perhaps ;)
          Maybe I am getting off the track of the original intent of mystic’s post and her reason for sharing. omg I have SO much to say. shhhhh pi

      • I always thought all the terms were a playful and satirical use of very human traits and transits for awareness because its all very human to do. that was my take on it anyway.

        • hmm. to a point, yes I would agree. I mean mystic has devised them and shared on her xlnt blog etc and they have some excellent utility… I mean gawd ..love zombie hello lol. I could probably dig deeper into whatever my personal thing is with one term is tho (maybe i already have enough :D ) but – like you say – playful and satirical intent. I just … sense viciousness sometimes. is that just me? does it even matter? oh who cares anyway. and again it’s not my blog so who am i to take issue where no issue intended. etc. ok have to work now/ offline pi x

          • Lol
            You are a subscriber and we all value your input highly. This is an insanely interesting post and the comments are just off the charts intense. I’m learning so much about myself from them today. Woke up at 3am with “hello panic attack” vibe and found this post soothed away 90 minutes. Then I went walkabout for an hour before yoga class. Now I’m back because it’s really interesting how this topic and the honesty of the comments esp re owning ones own shadow and the mirroring effect of the two states of being feels linked. It’s triggered a whole avalanche of thoughts for me on a variety of topics. It’s one of the reasons I love hanging out with you here Pi.

            • Hey, what a nice thing to say, thanks invictus x
              I’m really impressed too at the self awareness of commenters and the personal growth that’s got everyone this far in life.

              You’re right, re not sleeping and popping onto the blog to see what’s up for a while. Someone’s always doing something. Hope the book is progressing well :) xo

  21. I really appreciate the honesty of Sagittarius’s letter. When people talk about Qi Vampires, its usually something about spotting or removing them. Most of the time, nobody wants to admit that they might be the Qi Vampire

    I think that Q Vamps and LZs are not really evil- they are hurt, confused, and blinded. Usually, they don’t know how bad they get (and sometimes that allows for them to do terrible things)

    That was my experience with being a Qi Vampire. I had no idea how overly demanding, mean, and suffocating I was. My depression and anxiety melded together into this blob of anger and hurt. I lashed out at people a lot, and when they drew away, I felt even worse.

    I didn’t notice how bad things were until my best friend, and then my boyfriend, decided they needed to leave. They had tried to explain the issues to me many times, but I just couldn’t get it. My behavior never changed.

    So maybe some signs of becoming a Qi Vampire would be

    1) expecting your friends to constantly monitor and fix your feelings
    2) expecting people to want to hang out with you constantly (and rarely anyone else)
    3) Being angry/hurt when someone needs emotional space (even if its got nothing to do with you)
    4) taking out your self loathing on others (sometimes we see in others the things we hate about ourselves)
    5) being mean to yourself
    6) Using other people to fix old traumas (turning your best friend into the mom figure you never had)

    This is not to say that being depressed makes you a vampire, this is just a list of my own behaviors

    • Indeed. A theme that I’m picking up in your list is that Qi Vamps (paradoxically) give their power away by putting their “locus of control” outside of themselves onto other people.

      For example: The Qi Vamp I discussed in my comment kept on leaving curt messages demanding that *I* give her “closure” (as to why I declined her friendship the month before), so “the stress will go away and she can relax.”

      Getting no response from me she then started air-raiding my boyfriend constantly with the same question, and even tracked down a friend of his that she *barely knew* and rang her demanding to know what “my problem” was!

      If only the Qi Vamp knew that the power was hers all along…

    • It’s also very one-sided, as your list suggests.
      *Their* needs at *their convenience*

      When QV she gave her opinion on a public Facebook post about not having children, she wailed to all of us when people cruelly attacked her ad hominem. She then asked my boyfriend to go in to bat against her attackers, which he did.

      BUT when my boyfriend expressed a differing opinion on QV’s own wall to her own politics, QV silently sent in a couple of friends to ‘dogpile’ him with vicious insults (sexual slurs) and threats. When my BF expressed disappointment that QV did not defend him against these attackers – she immediately defriended him saying “I don’t defend those kind of views”.

      (This was the point I went all “she-bear” on her and called her out on this and all of her bad behaviour. Blocked me in response. A good result.

      The QV mistook my dignified silence over many moons for weakness and meekness. )

  22. I struggle with a friend who seems strongly to vamp my Qi regularly. There are moments of authentic freindshipdom in there I suppose because I am not at all afraid of this person judging me; I can be many facets of myself and I can hold the space also for her to be many things. Many of those involving neediness. I am conflicted because so many people have given up on her and I don’t like giving up on anyone especially if I see their pain. But she sure can chap me sometimes where it takes days before I can speak to her again. Sympathy for the vamps……is this not what they live on?

    • Yes… I think I understand what you mean here. Not wanting to abandon someone entirely as you can see their pain and also moments of brilliance. But also the giant vortex of Alice in wonderland style reality -shifting poss associated with people who might have a looser grip on some thing.

  23. Horrible ex boyfriend Qi vampire to the max too often, was scorpio sun, libra rising, cancer moon and had 4 close planets in Saggitarrius……venus, mercury, jupiter, neptune

  24. This is a great letter, and the comments are really insightful. Recently I’ve realised that certain friendships imploded or disintegrated in part because I was a bit of a qi vampire. I didn’t realise at the time that my expectations of others were actually a bit unfair, and when people didn’t live up to those expectations I felt betrayed or rejected.

    I can see now why people may have reacted to that, but I also see the experience as part of my own personal development. I now approach friendship in a very different way – it’s not about me, and it’s not about finding someone that I can use as a receptacle for my every thought, feeling, opinion, and analysis of my neuroses. I think throughout my 20s that’s essentially how I approached my close relationships. I’d never do that now – it’s unfair, unsatisfying and draining for the other party involved.

    A few people have said above that qi vampires act the way they do because of their own internal voids that they are seeking to fill through other people. As someone who recognises themselves as (hopefully a former!) qi vamp, I totally agree with this. My 20s were so void of self confidence, self esteem and self acceptance, I really looked to find validation through others and use companionship to keep me from myself.

    As I say hello to my 30s, I still struggle with these issues. My social group has condensed dramatically over the last 18 months. I’m in a great, fulfilling relationship but I still struggle with the fact that I don’t have a big group of friends, and my closest friendships now all contain a certain amount of distance. But I recognise that this is important – because as someone suggested above, I need to be *okay* in silence, stillness and my own company. My worries about my social status are superficial and stem from that need for external validation.

  25. This is one of the most thought provoking and insightful posts and thread of comments Ive ever read

    • I was totally thinking the same thing yesterday. Maybe the beneficial Chiron aspect?

  26. It’s as if the April of Awe made us more aware of so much of our own darkness and pain and the power we have to either keep creating it or just stop. That’s my experience anyway. There is power in fessing up to being or having been to some degree and at some point both Qi vamp and LZ.
    Very 12 step – ish in the breaking through the denial as the first step anyway. I also like how because we’re all so different and they are essentially MM trademark terms – because they are made up terms there is more air around them. If that makes any sense… It doesn’t feel dogmatic or “this is right and this is wrong ” it’s purely experiential. Really therapeutic.
    This site has honestly helped me so much. There’s a lot more than astrology going on here. This feels like a community of evolving beings that are intent on helping each other. I really like it.

    • More air around them . I do like that description. Maybe less dogmatic than I was seeing it.

    • Agree on all this Invictus.

      Also, I think that a lot of addicts are Qi Vampires. It seems to go with the territory.

      And when i was a Love Zombie i was also a Qi Vamp and drinking I would take people out for drinks just to wang on and on about my crush under the cloak of “bonding.”

      Occasionally someone would cut me off with a curt “he’s got a partner – just forget about it” and i would be so HURT. I Cringe now, i do. But i am 12 stepping so it is impossible to avoid.

      every 2nd person i know is sobering up one way or another now, Saturn in Scorpio?

  27. Just wanted to send a quick thank to those MM people that helped with some financial assistance.
    Calypso feed me and I sent her an artwork in return. She just happened to be working on opening her Third Eye. x
    Prowln – the coordinating SuperStar (that Virgo housemate might be rubbing off on you). Hope you got your express post parcel in the snail mail today. xoxo
    For my jogger heel – no shoes that fitted my feet for weeks, got a little TLC via Compression socks, Gumboots and inner sole foot support.
    Just wanted to say thank you very much and don’t want to take up anymore valuable blog space here. It’s a very precious medium :)

  28. Hey S, very pleased to hear you okay. Wasn’t able to send u much, but was sent with love. You are precious.

    • Doing minute by minute and trying to keep myself safe. I’ve been battling for 30+ years to survive. I just need a home, and homelessness forms have officially been lodged today. Talk about saga! Many weeks but I am now in the holding pattern. Good hospital but lack of funding meant when my discharge happened (sans computer). It’s been paper trail, red tape and blame shifting a go go. Kinda like the weather, can’t predict it – just be prepared and seek shelter. Life on pause at the mo and my paws are killing me too. My right foot is officially a solider (crossing some zebra crossings/boarders and I must be due for a PTSD medal). :)
      Thank you again, sincere kindness is a virtue that I hold very dearly. xoxo Words will never be able to express my gratitude.