AS you know, things didn’t work out with the Leo Policeman. Over lunch (two months and three dates after we met) he tells me he’s heading to Darwin with the army for four months, back on Christmas Eve. Nice! Why the hell he joined a dating website is beyond me. But that’s just the start. Mars retrograde smack bang on my Pluto brought 198 realisations about my relationships with men crashing down, it was like i was in a 7-eleven and they were all on display under those incredibly bright neon lights.
I mean, what are the chances of out of 250 ‘kisses’ on a dating website attracting the one man who is completely unavailable, and falling smack head over heels with him after one date? Before that, there was another soldier – a Taurean Commando actually. I shit you not. That was last year’s Impossible Love. He worked 3 months in Baghdad, one month off. We had a whopping two dates before 6 months of stupid emails from across the seas. He, too, has now disappeared.
Before that? Nada. Zip. Zilch, for three years. I’m not sure if you remember the Leo with Narcissistic Personality Disorder but that was me, and that burnt me to such a crisp so that i needed a long break from all men. Before that there was a three year relationship with an actor who also liked to disappear to other countries randomly, and for long periods at a time. Thanks, Neptune in Sagittarius in the 7th, for the attractions to men who are Not There.
So i feel like i’ve done my time. I did therapy. I journal. I’ve looked at the family of origin stuff where this comes from – I don’t want to go into it here because it’s all so cliche it’s actually boring and sort of embarrassing- but I’m ready to make a shift. A leap. Whatever you want to call it. As a Pisces, it’s my birthright to actually believe that I can escape my past / upbringing with magic and good intentions. I know it’s possible!
A friend who i was discussing the issue with (always attracting either completely absent / slightly sociopathic but always very interesting men because of who i was brought up around) said that just by seeing it clearly (as i did with the strobe lights of Mars Retro conjunct Pluto) can produce a shift.
I hope so. But i’d like to make a symbolic action to the universe, to show that i’m ready to change this pattern!
I have tried the peach blossom cure and i’ve never much of a hoarder (I own a small apartment of possessions, 8 pairs of shoes max) but i’d be keen to know what else you suggest… Write down my dream man? Burn sage in the south west? I think the peach blossom cure worked to bring in a few internet dates but i’m ready for an Actual Relationship. With someone available. And kind. And interesting. Sociopaths and soldiers need not apply.
Do you have any secrets that go beyond peach blossom? I have faith in you, the most powerful witch i know!
xxx Single-for-too-long Pisces
My Dear Single For Too Long Pisces,
Flattery works lol. Okay, forget the Peach Blossom Cure - it IS brilliant but just for scaring up stray suitors and you are clearly seeing some action. Just not the sort you want. You DO Have Prometheus and Circe in the House of Love at the moment so your instincts to rut-fuq your way out of this are fairly epic.
YOU are going to become our Dark Moon/Venus into Taurus experiment. Take Venus into Taurus (Thurs @ 11.45 in Australia – see the Daily Horoscopes for the times in all the other zones) as your deadline and go for it in the meantime. You will be reporting back. And yes, genius work on the awareness and all.
First fling salt around the entire house and let it sit for a bit. Then vacuum it up. Whilst the salt is sitting write letters to any of these guys you still have issues/baggage with. You are not going to send them. You are going to burn them. So say what you want. Do not drink during ANY of this. It’s a Neptune squared New Moon. You do not want to start live-texting this schizz to any of the suspects.
Okay and then do your own exfoliation with salt and rosemary a la the Ancient Egyptians, set up a little makeshift shrine to Venus (candle, flowers, picture), get new bed linen and pillows, get rid of any paraphernalia/memorabilia to do with exes – i know it’s there – and (wait for it) Feng Shui Your Vagina.
Also, get a mugwort smudge stick – Juniper Ridge is fantastic quality -and do the whole place. Your neighbors may think you are a rabid stoner but so what? Mugwort = Artemesia, the most magic and stagnation banishing herb of all. Accomplish all this by the time Venus gets to Taurus and at that exact time, do some sort of heart-felt affirmation that you are now ready for an actual relationship with an available man.
Then…wait till Venus is sextile Neptune on June 4 and report back.
What does everyone else think?
Image: Riikka Sormunen