The Mercury Full Moon Feedback Loop

Sci Fi Fashion W Magazine

GUYS i am so sorry but i blame Mercury Retrograde.  I was getting a steady in-flow of emails this morning asking where the Daily Mystic e-mail was and i am like “For Hecate’s Sake, check your junk filter or something”  as i knew i had scheduled it to be sent just before midnight, my time. But somehow, it – or, okay – me – set it to be send THIS evening at that time. So apologies, it HAS been sent for real now.

Other than schizz such as that, i am enjoying this Mercury Retro/Full Moon – the lucidity is beyond belief and i feel as if i am having far more real dialogue with a variety of people. You guys included!  The Chiron-Pluto running in the back ground makes one’s wisdom WAY easier to access. The only issue now is Jupiter-Uranus agitating for change NOW-NOW-NOW and Mercury Retro bogging down one’s futurism.

And you?

Also admin…

The Astrological New Year’s Dinner is booked OUT.  I will be emailing the fabulous guests with more info shortly. If you want to be waitlisted for future events, email  There were two venues – one more intimate – one big – and i had to secure the intimate venue or else someone else would have nabbed it so i made a command decision to grab that.

I also decided it would be the better venue – our host for the evening is French and a Quadruple Scorpio. If you are coming, don’t worry about what to wear, you can just get changed into your Psuedo-Intellectual Astro-Bitch t-shirts on arrival!

Kismet is booked out & so are Phoenix + Supernaturalist – email if you would like to be waitlisted. And the next D.I.Y. Astro-Hacks is totally about how to get your Mars on and assess Mars in a birth chart.

Tarot is progressing well and on track for a post-Mercury-Retrograde (aka March) soft launch (aka Tarot Muses get to try it out before an alpha launch down the line.

Image: Steven Klein W Magazine March 2014 Warrior Stance

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136 thoughts on “The Mercury Full Moon Feedback Loop

  1. chiron pluto has been a blessing + uranus I am gagging for

    Currently wondering if the 3rd house indicates the kind of music your neighbours will play.

  2. I am feeling superfly. putting up walls and breaking through barriers. Saturn squaring the full moon? yes. Also Neptune trining my natal Saturn. Finally the fog is lifting. I am go.

  3. “The only issue now is Jupiter-Uranus agitating for change NOW-NOW-NOW and Mercury Retro bogging down one’s futurism.”

    You nailed my feelings exactly. Need to make money. Worried about our financial future. Biological clock ticking. At a fork maybe?

  4. Sooooo full moon jealous of the mm party guests. Csn u have a twitter acc just for the event?

  5. Totes pinned chaos/merry mayhem on the Merc Retro!

    To Wit:

    Left the house with mismatched boots- didn’t grok this until I was LEAVING work. Yes!! Oh so humbling!

    Got to dry cleaners after they closed -hours shortened- so VirgoScorp teen lacks best cardigans

    At dojo- attendance software blew up and crashed. Sensei spent all day online with tech support to no avail.

    Did wash car- oil changed- snow chipped out of wheel wells.

    Did purge photos of… Step father and first wife in Japan. Ditched musty album and salvaged Kodak moments. Creepy pic of his ex had black stuff on it- ditched that too. Feng shui baby steps.

    Ironed and helped pack clothes for teen. So excited!

    Turning in and praying both phone alarms work!

    Xx Kat

    • It seems all mechanical, computer things are blowing up on me. Computer died, new laptop mouse battery refuses to stay charged, car problems, and now PS3 died without any warning right after a new update.
      Frustrating and way too expensive to repair, replace everything at once!

  6. Ya I am getting pretty impatient change wise too. Guys, should I just hit on random girls? Its really hard for me to bring myself to, but lately I have been considering it way more then ever before.
    The nuclear option has never been so tempting

    • David, I have one rule in life for this type of situ…if I feel like trying something I ask “if it fails will they hang me “?
      This rule helped me a lot around your age and I’ve never even been to jail or for that matter even publicly humiliated. It has only lead to good things.

    • I’m with davidl on this one. IMO, there is never a better time than when one is a young man full of bluster and love of life that you should approach a woman with boldness and irreverence for the result. Engage humor, charm and wit, even if naught comes of it, you’ll enjoy it.

      Just think. You practiced first in every sport you’re good at right? :)

    • Yeah just do it. Times past the odd guy would end up standing next to me in a bar somewhere, and just basically introduce himself or whatever. No one died :)
      Sometimes we hit it off , other times it was just a random conversation. Props to men for having the guts, I say.

      • Yes. And, unless you are really harassing someone (and you know the difference) who doesn’t appreciate attention and flattery? I never felt like I could hit on a guy. Catholic with 12th house Sun. If someone didn’t talk to me, I didn’t get talked to.

  7. OMG, have such a great time Party Goers!

    I hope you do a post on it MM – it sounds soooo cool.

  8. This picture captures my mood! Exquisitely.

    fellow leos is it just me or is this full moon hard on us lot?

    • I am weary.
      This pic seems really very MM!! Or Aqua Rising, Moon in Libra like MM is..

      What’s up TLS?

    • Yep it’s been very tough in a Saturnine way for this Leo rising. Full moon will be exact on my ascendant and opp my Venus in 6th.
      Hit what I recognise to be my personal rock bottom on Tuesday. I don’ t think I’ll ever forget that moment. Anyway, there really is only one way from here.
      Saturn is my new best friend. He has bought me a new pair of glasses through which I am seeing everything in my world: investment v return. Talk about illuminating.

      • Bless dear! Just doing a quick trawl and saw your post. Email me if you need to – you are nearly through this – defo has a retrograde feel so hope that’s the last pass over xx

    • I love the eyes wide open, ears blocked up stare with the Don’t fuq with me talons and space tribe battle ready vibe of this pic. I feel like this today. As in, not listening to the haters and determined to choose my POV rather than have anyone’s foisted upon me. Obvs will deal with reality. Saturn is my Daddy and Pluto my best friend. Loving Chiron these past few days too and accepting my limitations here. I COULD potentially have “it all” but is it what I truly desire at this time? Asking myself if I want “the big romantic dream” all morning. Or would I rather have my creative life and the freedom to live independently? To answer this honestly re “having it all” and “at the same time” just does not look realistic. Adjust your seat belts and check details thrice.
      Am I headed in the direction I really want to be going?
      Somewhat obsessed with this question today.

    • You are not alone, dear TLS

      My Leo Sun/Pluto sis is having a rough time, particularly in relation to exes, and uber-stubborn-rebellious-but-downright-gorgeous-in-many-ways 16 year old Scorpio son, who pushes his luck but also grows in maturity on a day-to-day basis….
      This, too will pass x

    • Yes, feeling like I want to rip apart a bunch of rare steaks and retreat to the cave to sleep until it’s all over. :/

      Definitely feeling the push-pull of the Jupiter-Uranus vs. Mercury Retro. The stasis is making me cranky. :/


  9. Mercs sure is backwards: my blackberry refuses to send emails at the moment so yesterday I had to text my friend whose phone receives text but refuses to send but she can email me and I can see it… so funny! She was emailing that her partners employer collapsed and he is out of a a job as of yesterday. I was texting that my husband fell off his scooter and is covered in lumps and bumps and abrasions (but is ok, just a bit sore). Strange days. I am in hibernation in a tropical resort and never want to leave.

  10. So wish I could come to Oz but now that deadline has been moved forward by Editor, sadly I can’t. Hey hey, feeling tres Saturnine myself right now with a dash of Chiron, Lashings of Pluto and Heaps of Jupiter into the mix. Where art tho Uranus?
    I know, it’s tempting fate to ask but I’m feeling excited for change.
    As in bring it!

  11. This is ground control to Major Tom.

    Woke up with that track on repeat in my head.
    Feels so apt

  12. Really going through the mill with Saturn stuff right now, but try Merc Retro/Full Moon is helping and the revelations about my own behaviour in a current romantic entanglement and romantic entanglements past are coming thick and fast, almost by the hour. Taking a week out of work to have a think without people and their crap muddying my waters, and at the same time doing some nice 3D origami that imposes discipline and meditation (can’t be angry doing origami it messes up the paper). Having a self-imposed 30 day lockdown on all communications with someone who messed with my head until after the retro is over, strongly suspect that when it is I won’t want to contact him at all and will feel at peace. Useful. Saturn’s bashing me over the head with a rolled-up newspaper shouting “Get the message FFS”. Transits to relationship houses are mental. Pluto in 5th, Neptune/ Chiron/Merc in 7th. Uranus in 8th. But I am getting the message, slowly I am getting the message and want to move on and looking forward to the Uranus future-oriented madness soon, going to make some cash through creativity rather than pissing away my energy on un evolved boy-men (Pluto in 5th square Uranus in 8th house of other people’s money). And then there’s also tr Mars sitting right on top of my Sun/Uranus conjunction. Nothing less than total world domination is to come. 😉

    • “can’t be angry doing origami” I love this.

      Going through something similar here. hugs

    • ha! re the origami. I have an unreliable truth bending fag stenching tradesman in my house who has suddenly appeared after 4 months of silence whom I suspect is the manifestation of my mars transit in the 4th. I’m about to do monochromatic colour scales to calm myself after the pistols at 930am when I had to make it clear to him that his jovial promise to do something rain or shine means if it’s raining it still happens. Jerk.

      • JESUS he just asked me if he could smoke on the balcony which is basically my bedroom. HE STINKS FUQ ME it’s bad enough that someone like you is IN my bedroom which I hold pretty fuqing sacred actually, let alone wanting to stench up the place. This is totally distressing. Like seriously. Might have to resort to crayons with my left hand if it gets any weirder.

      • sorry to overshare, your thing has no link to mine other than the shared response to angst by way of craft as medicine. craftharsis

        • Ha, I had to chuck away a fuqtonne of paper before I got that message though. Oh man, rude smokers, no no no.

  13. Speaking of Chiron-Pluto, my natal Piscean Chiron-Virgoan Pluto opposition just passed, yesterday, after months of related hell.

    And today, when Moon was on my early 9th house Leo NN, I get the news: I have a job I really want, after months and moths of un- or underemployment and 2 years or so of Saturn in 12th/Chiron return opp career-house hell.

    Thank fuq! I, for one, am having one helluva cool Mercury retro (it stationed on my Jupe-Chiron plus transiting Neptune in Pisces whilst I was having said natal Chiron-Pluto in 10th opposition).

    You’d think, with my Natal Saturn in Aqua Mars in Leo opposition (that has Scorp Asc ven/nept sandwiched in the middle), that this full moon would be a biatch: not so. There is hope even for those of us with natal Mars square Saturn, but more so now that Saturn is transiting my first house: new structures can now be forged, after the clearing away of past hurts/negative thoughts…

    Take heart, folks, from one mightily relieved Saggo who has been doing her best to think as positive-as-fuq lately while Sun has been in her 3rd house, opp her Mars, and Saturn has been transiting her first! It works!!

  14. And in other news, I’ve started having hot flushes!! hooray for pre-menopause. Not.

    But I just re-read a great post from the Chiron Return post, in which a women of late 50s told about her stress free menopause (seeing it as a natural stage and doing body work and trusting that the body has wisdom) and blossoming life post menopause. (sex/love not over!! now in a really good romantic relationship!)

    Also the Oracle told me not to think about ageing negatively… I am becoming stronger, sexier, wiser, every day!

    So, more yoga, more reiki, and trusting the wisdom of my body. And have started meditating again.

        • Not really, unfortunately, Gemyogi… I’ve been getting them for about three years now and they are not fun. However I do find that if I look after myself they aren’t as bad (or else I don’t notice them as much). That’s the best I can offer!

    • Yogi, started full time professional massage at 45, was so busy i never noticed me-no-pause, it was obliterated!
      My problem was with society that doesn’t understand it’s workings., and a little bit of grief that i didn’t do babies as it was when i was actually ready when it was too late.
      As i had never taken the pill (an IUD) didn’t hesitate to take HRT although only coz the male doc at the time thought it compulsory.
      Missed the blood as it was deliciously primal but that was all that happened.
      Apparently it was early due to being a smoker the doc said.
      Never had the flushes and no trouble ‘juicing’. Zip.
      So movement could be a key, intense physicality and you sleep like a baby.
      It seems to be a 1st world, western perceived problem as other cultures that i lived amongst also never experienced what the written up symptoms said would occur.

      • Interestingly Pegs I am now living with three much younger fertile women and my cycle has noticeably ‘livened up’. I am now bleeding every couple of months instead of once very six months. I was hoping this would happen. I am too old for children now but I like the idea that I am still ‘alive’ if that makes sense.

        • Oh cool. That sounds positive. Being surrounded by young fertile students at art school will hopefully prolong my “vitality” 😀

  15. omg have developed a major crush on a coworker! feel like a total love zombie. we don’t work on the same floor or on the same team, so don’t see him too often. i have known him a tiny bit for three years and always thought he was a bit cute and interesting but no big deal. doing a new role now so had increased interaction the last couple of weeks. before the crush started he asked me how my new role was going. i was having a massive issue with one particular aspect and vented to him. he offered good advice and said ‘if you ever want to talk about it…’ saw him at a meeting the other day and he seemed to want to chat after and maybe he was glancing at me a bit during it, i don’t know. i was glancing at him out of the corner of my eye but didn’t want to seem obvious or embarrass myself. i am sag with gem rising, moon in libra, mars in virgo, venus in cap. i know his bday and he is a cancer sun, moon in taurus or gem, venus in leo, mars in taurus. very uranian too. i did synastry and his pluto is on my moon and his north node is in my mercury.

    and yes, i have an exact sun/neptune conjuction in sag so i can be a love zombie lol.

    i think i am finding this fun as i have been single for five years after my partner of ten years completely broke my heart.

    i know nothing might happen with this guy (and as we work together not sure i really want anything too anyway). it is just fun.

    i won’t embarrass myself where he’s concerned in real life, except on this site, lol.

    • yayy! enjoy :) I bet you’re probably both totally vibing off each other :)

      I LOVE coworker crushes. That;s probably the one thing I miss the most [other than the salary, lol/sigh] about office work. Well, any workplace, really!


      • It definitely makes work a more fun and interesting! :) :) :) I think it also helps me see there are nice, cool guys out there, even if nothing happens between us. Although actually – he seems nice and cool – who knows what he is ‘really’ like… I hope he’s ‘vibing’ me too :) :)

    • Yeah I agree with Pi, enjoy 😀
      It’s a bit of harmless fun. Especially after your experience. He might open up your heart /mind to the idea of someone else?

      Don’t think you’ve mentioned your astro before Porkchop. No wonder I’ve always enjoyed your comments and “Porkchop” cracks me up.
      We share similar signs. I have Sagg moon, Gem NN, Venus in Libra, Mars in Virgo and Cap Asc. So naturally (like P) I also enjoy workplace crushes. 😉

      I dated a Cancer / Leo Venus – very caring and giving

      • Aww thanks! Hahaha :) And I am actually a vegetarian lol. I like calling one of my cats my ‘little Porkchop’ and my ‘Christmas ham’ (cause she is quite hilarious).

        Love your astro! Do you like having the earth in your chart, with the air and fire? As I have gotten older I appreciate it more as arty flakes (i study writing and editing part-time, so there are a few in my creative writing classes!) drive me batty!

        yes, i think my crush is a sign my perspective is opening up, in a good way.

        today is valentine’s day – thinking after work i will order a pizza, watch a seth rogen movie (have a bit of a crush on him cause i would love to write a movie as funny as his) with my two amazing cats, and take some night time cold medicine so i have a nice, deep sleep (won’t take more than the recommended dose, of course!) i am quite looking forward to it – hahaha :)

        • just asked the mm oracle ‘what do i need to know right now?’


          i love it hahahaha :) lol

          • Hahaha!!!!! Seems that The Oracle approves of your crush too. 😆

            “writing and editing part-time” Of course with Gem rising!!
            Quite a few Gem risers here gifted with the written word. Bit envious.
            My gift is visual – Sun/Neptune conjunction in the 10th.

            Yeah love my earth energy.
            I have Jupiter in Toro and Uranus/Pluto in Virgo – but that’s generational.

            I love the smell of earth after the rain and the earthy flavour of beetroot. :)

  16. Feeling the Chiron big time. Its in my 6th house, on my Jupiter. Neptune opposite my 12th house Venus. I’m certainly better at spotting relationship patterns I can’t fix. Its taken nearly a week for Pisces to admit, in his words, he is “unable to have an intimate personal relationship with another human being.” He gets consistent feedback on this. And he says no matter how he tries and recognizes it, he still can’t stop over protective self defense mechanisms. I told him now that he knows that and is committed to not sorting it out, he should let the next woman know. He said he will sort it out and I told him to get professional help.

    So fing sad!!!! It crushed me to have him say it so clearly. I was glad for the clarity, but crushed. Not for us, but for him to be stuck in a place where he can’t really ever get close to anyone. I blame his Sun-Pluto opposition. How do people reject love!! Ah, I’ve seen it too many times, so many reasons, so many fears. I’m starting to think rejection of self is more normal than not. But I am pretty f’ing proud to have spotted the spiral early on and not tried to negotiate a no-win situation. Much less crying going on.

    • Hey good for you 12th H Virgo. I know you must be feeling so rough at the mo. Every time I see one of your posts I just inhale sharply and bite my cyber toungue as I don’t have any answers. Just want to say hey and that you will get through this and kind of “I’m sorry you had to experience this hurt.” I have Chiron in Aries in my fifth so I kind of know this type of pain but I don’t have an answer except just keep on being you and keep going. It IS sad how many people reject love. I’ve been one and I’ve been rejected so many times by guys saying that same thing. It does suck. xxx

      • Thanks dear. Chiron in Aries 8th house here. All my romances are karmic. It’s hard to say how many times he and I tried before. His Juno is on my SN. Sigh. It was a gift to have the clarity. Truly. It hurt but I feel lighter. It wasn’t me. It wasn’t in my head.

        • I get that. I do. I have Venus in Leo in the 8th (trine Neptune) and my SN in Kataka in the 8th so believe me I do get the 8th house karmic lover /almost lover vibe. Fuq me it hurts. And I know how it feels to think “it’s me, it’s all in my head.” I have a twelfth house moon and both my Lililths are in the 12th h too so mmmm I get that. Honestly going by your posts from when this thing started happening I can tell you it so is not all in your head. It was almost too good to be true from the start, hence my inhalation on reading further posts of yours. Like watching a train crash in slow mo. A train smash that awas painfully familiar to me. :-(. I know its a bit lame to say but I’m just sorry this happened.
          I know how it feels for me – similar stuff – and I’m just sorry that it happened but you know if you CAN manage to make gold out of this shitz then you win. Although you might not feel that way for a while. That’s why I say sorry. Cuz it hurts and that sucks. X

          • Yeah, I got wrapped up in my own ideals too – not just him. We’re both heavy Neptune types and I can own my part of it. You can’t skip to that level of commitment without a foundation. I told him, it was like a castle with no foundation and we don’t have the tools to build one. Sad. But, I felt like I had to try. I broke my 3 year dry spell and the sex was nice while it lasted. I gave it a go. But, seriously, f that crap. Reading up on narcissists versus empaths and apparently narcissists lack the ability to be introspective. He said I am way more introspective than him and will gain wisdom and grow stronger, lol. At lest I recognize now that narcissists build you up at first, but the crash is going to be just as dramatic and extreme.

    • That’s a toughie … lordy I can so relate. The Cap was somewhat similar, except in a more Cap way.

      That being said, I am starting to see my own defense mechanisms were at play too. So ANNOYING ….

      But in answer to your question … how can people reject love. Well he wasn’t was he? He was trying … and then just found out the aggravating (and repetitive by the looks) truth that he can’t.

      These defensive mechanisms are invisible to us – they need to be consciously and consistently worked on in order to make them transparent enough for us to not knee jerk react and have some choice restored to our behaviour.

      But hey it’s tough work … not for the faint hearted … it’s confronting. Most people don’t wanna do it! I kinda get it … coz I don’t particularly wanna do it either. But I have to unless I really am prepared to resign myself to cat lady status. And I’m not sure that’s what I want at all! *sigh*

      Anyway hope it’s given you some closure so you can move forward luv.

      • I do think he was rejecting love. He said before he came he felt I had his back no matter what. He wanted an ideal, his own feeling, not love with another, which would mean vulnerability and real life compromise. He tried. I get it. But – he chose the ideal, not the reality. I am happy to say – I want reality! I am ready. Not to fix someone, but to love them. I have compassion for him because I don’t think he’s never known love like that. I guess I am lucky for all the heartbreak – from 2009 until now, because I am whole. Alone. I have Venus-square-Neptune, Sun and Venus in 12th house making a yod with Jupiter in Pisces – so its super easy for me to be a sucker for a fixer upper. I am working on doing haute Jupiter in Pisces now. That may be the key to my chart – my NN conjunct Neptune in Sag. There’s some resonance there, with the yod and all…I think. Anyway, I am very proud of myself for recognizing the train I was on and for getting off so quickly. Because it would have been pouring myself into a bottomless pit. I can’t understand how a person can say “I am incapable of intimacy” and go on about their lives. I’m too Venusian-Neptunian for that. There’s nothing lost with someone who can’t love. And there’s no worry because if he can’t be loved by me, he can’t love anyone. I’ve seen this too many times before. Nothing about it is personal – its totally them and not you.

        You say you saw your defenses at work. I can’t comment on that. I don’t know the details of the situation. But if a man told you he can’t handle intimacy, than trust him. Its him, not you. xoxo

    • yes, you did really well. and if it is karmic and I have no doubt it is, then I hope it has brought you important gifts of learning or leaning as well as it has done him. you’ll make good use of them. take care xx

      • I’m bashing myself on the head with it right now. I’m a Leo moon opposite bitch goddess lilith. I really over do the Virgo, ffs. The narcissist types are so charming! I have such a weak spot for them. But what about the bloody narcissist in me? I lost connection with her when he moved in. Had his artwork and photos all over the place. Didn’t have a job but took over the office for himself, covered the walls with his belongs. He said I could use it but his aura – I took my video conference calls with the office from my couch. I just took them down. I realized when he was here, I shrank. WTF! Pfft…so much for true love.

    • I had the “I can’t commit” speech too. I also had the “I am not ready because my ex broke me heart” and the “I am not a very good catch because of x, y and z” and also “I am a struggling demon-hot musician don’t you know, I can’t take you out like I want because all my money’s going into my craft, man” and also the “But if you ever wanted a booty call….” And also “I’d really like to still come over and have a cup of tea with you and talk sometimes”. Oh, uhkay so you’re not so broken-hearted that you can’t cope with the idea of sticking your bits into me whenever you fuquin feel like it and get free advice/insight about why your ex felt the need to get boned by someone else because the realisation that you are a sociopathic selfish twat never occurred to you and she did that because you probably deserved it. I wanted to scream Get Out of My House You Vermin but instead I acted like a wasn’t all that bothered and then started to ignore him and he’s blowing up my phone with texts now cos he thought I’d fold and accept his terms but no fuqin way asshat. Triple Aries, Mars conjunct Neptune in Cap (oof) psycho PSYCHO PSYYYCHHOOO!!!

      Kay, thanks for listening, hahahaha now back to the origami.

  17. I’m excited for my Kismet, because I discovered that Karma asteroid is sitting on top of my South Node in the 10th.

    Had some crazy productive, and very lucrative business propositions in the last 36 hrs, and one looks very good. One will take some finagling to create the IFRA compliant perfumes – since it’s in the EU, but that’s a small hurdle.

    I feel really good about this energy – it suits me 😀

  18. Ughh it just keeps getting worse! Like I thought Venus retro sucked ass … Merc retro is even more effing crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    I can’t get over the effing Cap. Just. Can’t. Let. Go …. so goddam irritating I want to scream. Actually I had a dream about him last night where we were in a packed auditorium and I was screaming my head off at him *sigh* ….

    So anyway I’ve packed myself off to counselling again because hey I’ve got nothing better to do than confront the machinations of my unconscious mind … yeah super fun. Right on.

    • Oh dear. You know, I was standing in my kitchen chopping mangos for my kid on Sunday and the Pisces was sitting on the couch, he came to drop his dog, just sitting there watching me cry. I got the feeling it consoled him. Which irritated me. And then I remembered once I pictured him standing there in the kitchen – he was going to come and cook for me. It was a “thing” between us. And here I was, taking care of myself and my kid. And it didn’t make me sad, per se. I hope the image of me like that burned his eyes, lol. But…I have a point….no one ever can make you whole. No one ever can be the answer to your problems. Maybe believing that they can is a defense mechanism all its own. Good luck, dear. Be kind to yourself. You deserve the kindness.

    • Aww that sounds tough :( I was with someone for 10 years and he left me for some little groupie of his lame band. I think things had gone their course between us anywat but still was so so so painful. He comes from money, had a cool job and this instant new tween girlfriend. Me – after he left I was struggling with the loss and what it was showing me and restarted counselling.

      It has been five years and I am now the happiest and most self-assured I have ever been. Finally feel like I have moved on, although still have grief some up occasionally (like when I began having a crush on someone new)

      Everyone processes things differently. Some people dust themselves off quickly and get back out there right away. Others take more time. Both are fine! All depends on how you feel things. And I think it is fine to take a long time to heal as long as at the same time you’re still doing new things and trying to move forward. Sometimes I will give myself a day or two to wallow and then that’s it – try and focus on other stuff so I don’t get stuck there.

      I might feel a bit sad about the loss even when I am 90, even if I am with somone else, even though now, after i desperately tried to hold onto him after he left, you couldn’t pay me to date him! It’s the death of a dream. it’s very weird in a way… I still get very sad occasionally but I know I don’t want him back. It’s the death of an old dream that still hurts a bit even though I have a gazillion new ones. The pain of living!

      I had had a bit of counselling while we were together, but the sessions I had with someone new after we split – that’s where I made the most progress. Went once a month for two years. Dealth with the boy stuff plus work stuff. My counsellor was great as she isn’t the type to say ‘love everyone, forgive’. I have a venus – pluto square and don’t operate like that. it’s fine to have the nasty thoughts and think someone is an a-hole as long as it isn’t holding you back in life.

      sorry for the rant! i just really feel for your situation as it can be so hard to get over the loss of a love. great idea to get the counselling – BEST investment you can make in yourself. i reckon everyone needs it for at least one area of their life but some people think that stuff is weird or for crazy people *shakes head*

    • I feel the same Prowlin. “I just can’t get you out of my head”. Although I found Venus Rx worse then Merc Rx.

      I think you can fall out of love as quickly as it is possible to fall in….but, maybe that can only work if you really want it to. I guess I have to admit in this case I don’t want to – for now. Sigh. I watch and wait for a little, but get on at the same time.

      Good luck xx

    • Ohh Prowln. There’s nothing I could say that you don’t know already… so just sending hugs your way. Grief is a hard road. Sometimes a fuquing good cry and pouring out of the heart is all that can be done. xxx

    • Often when we dream about another person they are representing a part of ourself we’re not recognising. Could the dream represent some kind of frustration / upset you are having about yourself?

      lots of hugs!! xo

    • Thanks guys … yeah it is grief and as someone said (I think it was Pi or anon …??) that we are each other’s Pluto people so hop skipping and jumping out of it with nary a hair ruffle is hardly likely. Even though it pisses my Sagg moon right off!

      Just to be clear … I recognise this is about me, something about it has got stuck and remains unclear. It’s about my feelings surrounding how I operate. It’s not a “him” thing … I have firmly closed the door on the physical relationship despite his attempts to provoke me into opening it again.

      • actually it was his doppleganger Saturnalien who said the thing about Pluto people … hehehe 😉

  19. Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not stirring here but really puzzled ?
    The posts above re: love/ men etc
    1. Hard for men to commit ?
    2. The “it’s me not you ” line ?
    3. Fear of intimacy ?
    Hellloooo… ! This is relationships 101 !
    FFS Seinfield covered this stuff 20 years ago.
    This is retro madness at it’s weirdest ?

    • You’re such a joy. When you told me what a stupid greedy bitch I am and how the man was right to leave me again – was that relationships 102?.

      • I never said that. Read the first post you made about the issue. I took you literally which was a misunderstanding or misrepresentation of the underlying issue.
        If I didn’t care about you I wouldn’t have commented in the first place.
        I was trying to understand, like really understand not just give you another fuqing cup of tea and a pat on the back.

    • I have to admit, David, that not that long ago (I’m 34 now) I was SUCH SUCH SUCH an idiot about relationships and men. I have a Sun-Neptune conjunction in Sag in the 7th.

      I still get giddy if I get a crush (lol as is obvs from my post about my coworker) but I *like to think* that if I was actually in a relationship with someone I would be more grounded / realistic / see things clearly and would not be in Neptunian la la land. I’ve also become more assertive and assured. I used to be so independent and then lost it as soon as I started dating someone (which was my behaviour, and I have worked on that).

      And I think now, I could really appreciate a concerned friend doing some straight talking / delusion busting with me rather than just doing the cup of tea / ‘oh, poor you! it’s his loss!’ thing. Although I might need the tea and a good cry first… :)

  20. The retros have seemed to me that i have to face a situation that i thought by resuming work would heal it (by ignoring it?).
    After a talk to a medico yesterday about how my creativity has departed, my ability to visualise, to join the dots, and include intelligence in that, is a result of PTS from the assault over 2 years ago. It seems it really has changed me, as living in a state of ‘arousal’ by the assaulter’s proximity
    on a regular basis.
    IF it is PST it could explain a lot…a lot! But wary of it being an excuse.
    So she has booked me into psychologist next week for diagnostics, like a ‘brain test’ and memory evaluation.
    Looks like i have to take action to sort it, legal action dammit, we’ll see, as i have avoided that solution which i think no solution at all. April may or may not be a suitable time considering astro.

    • if i remember rightly you had some pretty amazing astro jupiter wise that worked with your chart the last time this was a thing pegs – jupiter is retro at the moment so it kind of makes sense that it would ‘return’. I hope you are ok x

      • I don’t know the history, Pegs, but isn’t Jupiter associated with law? I don’t know the whole context, why you wouldn’t want to get into legal action, but I imagine the zap zone would have to be on your side in receiving justice. PTS is awful as so many people who suffer it don’t know. Glad you are being helped by experts.

        • hmmm, does the warning not to start things during Mars Rx count in this instance do you think? if yes, you still have a few weeks….

    • Ooh, best of luck Pegs. Nothing of value to add, but to stand strong in your power! You are so brave to be examining this so consciously, big hugs. You probably already know about adrenal function and fatigue induced by stress, but a visit to a good naturopath could be helpful as I was talking to someone who had excellent results for a pstd situation that had them medicated for a few years. xx.

      • this is also my recent experience – tiredness i had put down to my life situation actually adrenal and now improving after seeing a naturopath last week. I nearly mentioned this before, but I’ve already reported on it twice so didn’t want to harp but yes!

  21. Welp! I can honestly say I don’t have man problems because i have no man. So no complaining from me about dudes on Valentines Day.
    But i am having a shit Mercury rx because just in the past 2 days,

    1.) I split my fave jeans! FUCK FUCK FUCK. Do you know how hard it is to find another perfect pair of jeans when you are an hourglass shape? And no the split is not from me being fat, it’s the stupid place on the inner thigh that once it wears through your jeans explode and die.

    2.) I just broke my $75 blender. Burnt out the motor. Fuck. Should’ve gotten that fucking Vitamix.

    3.) Squirrels broke into my attic and I can hear those smarmy bastards in the morning because they are Fing morning people.

    4.) Fight with a Cancerian pal who is misunderstanding everything damn thing I am saying lately….

    so I am just waiting for more stupid shit to happen…

    • I hear you about the jeans. F’n skinny jeans. What about us with the same hip to boob ratio? Non for you.
      Have you seen those infomercial blender/juicer bullet things? You end up with no pulp excess.

      • Aye, I’m built like the illegal love child of Kim Kardashian and Brock Samson. Small waist, big butt, huge shoulders and forearms but meaty thighs. So that means if jeans fit the legs and butt, it will fall off my waist. :( Jeggings are useful, but DAMMIT sometimes i want plain jeans!!!

        What is this bullet thing you speak of? I must look into this. How sturdy is it? I have a tendency to break things electrical. My friends say I should work for Underwriter Labs to test equipment.

    • Maybe you can find out what kind of jeans Kim K wears and you might discover some cool new brands? Hopefully they won’t all cost a gazillion dollars… Or maybe they have some in their Kardashian Kollection for Sears? 😉

      I empathize with you! Often when I really like something I buy more than one as I have a hard time finding things that fit me well too.

  22. WOW. Since the Rx, my days have been SO magic, WOW, epic, synchs galore. Totally unexpected. Its funny because Im going through some things, like my friend just had a bad heart attack and has been in a coma for a few days…. but on a personal, just me level, good things are happening.

    I had a dream that I was on the freeway driving, and a large semi-truck tried to push me off the road and crash me into the wall. He was unsuccessful. Then, later down the road, I started freaking out when I saw that traffic was coming towards me. I got a little nudge to look around from intuition, and I saw that all the guideposts and signs were facing me – they were cemented in and aged looking. Felt strange for a minute but realized I actualy wasnt going in the wrong direction, the crowd were the ones misguided. The signs were there long before the traffic was. I just got off the next exit and got out safe.

    Since then my days have changed.
    Love has returned.

    There is a real life highway in a beloved city nearby I used to live in.
    I had some painful moments related to that highway, even wrote a poem using the number of the highway as a point of pain, as it brought up memories I would like to Eternal Sunshine out of my mind. I was driving up that highway the other night, and just wow, that grief has disappeared completely. I was feeling so good, and felt that feeling from over a decade ago, before the bad memories – I was falling in love with the city all over again. I almost cried, I definitely had a knot in my throat, it took me Years to try and get over the incidents associated with that city. Had wind in my hair, new awesome music blasting, hugging the curves driving, heart filled with song and overflowing with love.

    • your dream and story gave me goose bumps nightrose. I can relate to the ‘tabula rasa’ sense of travelling down old roads again feeling free after a very long inner journey has been made. Have fun out there beautiful xoxo

      • Aww thank you Pi xxxx
        Warm wishes to you during the Rx, I send you lovely magic filled days! :)

  23. Mercury Rx is being a complete pain in the butt, and this full Moon is full fuqing on intense. I feel mega charged physically but emotionally and mentally it’s as though I’ve been put through a wringer over the past 24 hours.

    Ms. – if you’re reading this, I sent two emails a few days ago and they’ve just bounced back undelivered. Have tried to resend but nfi if they’ll do the same again. I’ve been on the case though. x

  24. Umm… wtf? The news coming into HQ has only been getting worse for the last few days. If this is my msg re the mountain of slog I endured 2011-12, then fuq me: I’m spending this weekend with copious amounts of alcohol & cigarettes. Clearly those months were a complete waste of my energy & if I’m going to waste my energy then I’m going to enjoy myself in the process. *flips off the cosmos*

    • — and by copious amounts of alcohol & cigs, im talking 3 froo froo microbrews and one cig smoked in pieces over the course of 5 hours! One more person push me & I Will eat some goddamm white pasta alllll weekend, I swear.

      *two fingers at the cosmos– one esp for Saturn*

  25. Ok.. so Mystic warned us Valentines Day would be troublesome.. and it did stink. After meeting the Pisces man on 2/2 and being in touch with him since all I received was a txt wishing me Happy Valentines Day. Things did not feel right with him today! We are suppose to see each other this weekend so I hope it gets better. Then he is off back to my hometown where he is currently living. He is actively looking to move down here.

    Am I being presumptuous that he should have sent me something other than a txt?

    (sigh).. this stinks not knowing what to do!!!!

    • I’m not from your country so am not in the swing of your cultural norms ie. have never bought into V Day (am more partial to VE day if the truth be known – Mars conjunct regulus + pallas conjunct my sign and chart ruler, go figure)) and think it’s just another shameless opportunity for unnecessary mass consumption, so, you know, take this with a grain of salt.

      At least he thought of you.

      • Yeah.. I know what your talking about it! I was in the grocery store tonight and saw all these men buying cards, flowers etc.. right before going home to see whoever. (sigh).. I would NOT want that from my man! Don’t waste the energy or money!


  26. ha. so I’m doing OK with the full moon energy….really better than OK actually. my ex on the other hand sent a spiteful baiting message at 10.51am. Moon was full here at 10.53. It’s squaring Saturn on his Neptune which will sit there for months during the climax of our drawn out family court proceedings. He’s has substance abuse issues.

    Is this one of those astro events which presages the April ZZ schizz?