It Hurts To Become

Filed in Moon in Taurus

Cassandra Art

 ”The cusp in the dark matter distribution required to explain the recently found excess in the gamma-ray spectrum at energies of 130 GeV in terms of the dark matter annihilations cannot survive the tidal forces if it is offset by 1.5° from the Galactic center as suggested by observations.”

Dmitry Gorbunov, Peter Tinjakov


I said to the sun, ‘Tell me about the big bang.’ The sun said, ‘it hurts to become.’
Andrea Gibson


Some astrological things to think about this weekend…

* People return with this Venus Retrograde, some a cause for delight, others a cynical eye roll or even a shudder.

* I know i always express disdain for Pass-Agg but i am thinking that, with Mars in Libra until late July, it could actually be a lost Martial Art that we reclaim and make over into something Zen.

* Asteroid Sappho now in Sagittarius is amazing astro for writing, diarying, poetry and the more whimsical aspects of creative self-expression.

* Eros into Scorpio makes Saturn schizz sexy all of a sudden.

* The encounter of two mighty forces such as Uranus and Pluto (the Zap Zone) is reminiscent of what Jung wrote about a chemical reaction being when two substances come together and each are transformed by the meeting into a different substance.

Venus Retro Returnees, Sappho, Eros & the Zap Zone as personal science experiment will all be explored in next week’s Daily Horoscopes for SURE.


Image: Tom Bagshaw

131 thoughts on “It Hurts To Become

  1. I think the embers are finally out with the Multi-scorp. A bit relieved. It does me no good to experience flames with someone already seemingly happily taken. Been a conscious effort past 12 months to not indulge in energy-thieving fantasy, instead replace with reality checks. Got the clarity now, not words but I knew I felt differently. Or at least had come to terms with no frisson allowed. Now feeling a bit sad tho. Not even any imaginary lovers to toy with. Blah, meh. Shrug.
    Yours in a rather boring negative fashion, but with one eyebrow raised and maybe a glass to the future,
    Pi x

    • Never mind Pi …. changes and letting go of stuff always involve a grief process – even if the changes are good ones. I’m a bit meh myself regarding the romantic stuff. Breaking up with the Cap was the right thing to do, but realising behind it was a romantic delusion that had been running for near on a year hasn’t been exactly cheery news. But oh well ….

      • hopefully i can word this so it doesn’t sound offensive but don’t you think romance is pretty delusional in and of itself? As in romantic love isn’t the kind that goes on in perpetuity? It’s that phase right at the start and then it evolves and then the romance becomes a part of a larger thing? Part of something that’s quite different but romance is an integral part of. I don’t even know if that makes sense. But do you know what i mean? Romance is the catalyst and then like the jung quote above it becomes something else? You can never tell what it will be until you’ve been in the lab though. So it’s never a waste because it could’ve been something amazing? It’s all part of an evolution. Next time your ingredients will be a bit different and there’ll be another outcome.

        • Yeah I get what you mean and I agree … perhaps what I was really trying to say was that I had been “hiding” in romantic delusion for near on a year … that it had become a happy place for me that had nothing to do with genuinely wanting a real relationship. It’s that realisation that’s a bit meh … and also that it’s no longer my happy place. The bubble has burst. I’ve seen through the behaviour … it’s an empty feeling for awhile, letting go of these odd little coping mechanisms we all latch onto.

          • ah I see – the meh of self delusion I am intimately familiar with. I have an empty fish bowl that I keep to remind myself that if a situation is totally shit a water feature isn’t gonna fix it. But owning it (the sitch not the fish bowl) will.

          • Prowln, so get what you’re saying. ditto here. was so good to read that in black and white. and yes, it is an empty place for awhile, letting go of those habitual coping mechanisms. they become so familiar, a comfort zone of thinking/feeling. . gotta push through them when we identify them. thanks for your post.

          • it is a drug i think – it hits the same pleasure centres in the brain or something. not sure vague has me in its grip. haha actually it might be a surge of love that has me…

  2. * I know i always express disdain for Pass-Agg but i am thinking that, with Mars in Libra until late July, it could actually be a lost Martial Art that we reclaim and make over into something Zen.


    I’m having trouble visualizing how pass-agg could *possibly* be made over into something of actual benefit to ANYONE.

    ‘splain, pretty please?

      • I don’t see any pass-agg in there, David, just a request for clarity with a cute upturn…….
        Real P-A always registers in my solar plexus, otherwise I can’t be bothered. There needs to be some agg in there, just plain ole pass is different.

        • I meant it as a compliment actually. I found it a perfect example of not agreeing, with multiple ?????? , capital letters etc …while ending with a rhetorical question. Ms Vervain would make an excellent lawyer.

          • …….. that was curiosity, davidl. not disagreement.
            My question was not rhetorical, as you assume. Is this my 8th house Mercury/ Uranus conjunction playing up? Yikes.
            Mars is nearly exact my natal Pluto (conjunct Sun, 7th house), maybe this has turned me into a comments-thread black hole?
            I’m really quite nice, once you get past my extreme clutter-clearing tendencies, and Aqua rising persona……………………..

        • I find the last line to be a little passive-agressive, but on the whole find it to be just aggressive and quite condescending. But perhaps there are different understandings of the term.

          My concern with passive-agressive behaviour, as I understand it, is that it is aggressive and hidden, causing the recipient to self-doubt and if repeated, feel abused and responsible for the aggressor’s discontent. But if in response to someone else’s aggression or condescending words, Mars in Libra is supporting me to respond with a bit of charm as show that I am not affected by their opinion of me, then I like it, as an alternative skill to simply remaining silent. I think too when someone is aggressive, they might have a valid point in amongst it, so acknowledging in a kind way that they have one, even if they didn’t put it so tactfully, seems a Libran-like response.

          • Well!! My goodness. Sometimes the twists of communication via words and internet are quite astounding.
            1. I ADORE MM, find her style and wisdom to be endlessly inspiring and informative, love her snappy delivery and humor.
            2. I’ve been looking at the concept of pass-agg for the past several months, both in myself and others. It’s been a focus for me, as I’ve come to understand there really is nothing to be gained by playing the victim. Dead end…… certainly if I’m the one generating pass-agg, and maybe worse if it’s someone else – how do you resolve an issue when someone is going down a dark spiral, determined to prove how everyone is against them?
            3. My enthusiastic use of exclamation marks and caps was only fueled by bulletproof coffee and curiosity as to how this awful tactic (pass-agg) I’ve spent so much time looking at and extracting roots wherever I find them could possibly be of benefit.
            4. Given my respect and overall doting on the lovely MM, I would NEVER assume the worst – I was asking for clarification….. with the assumption there was an exciting new nugget of information to be had in this post.
            5. I’m grateful to report this was indeed true, and it’s along the lines of killing someone with kindness, taking the high road, turning pass-agg into a totally new animal………. going into a higher octave.

            Happy weekend to all…… hello to Plutoboy – nice to see you here.

            • The last and larger part of what i wrote was not a comment on you.

              Still, it seems I would have been kinder not to have commented on your behaviour.

              Sorry for hurting your feelings.

              • Hi Mitra…….. not sure what you mean.
                Mine was a general reply to the seeming confusion over a simple question, I probably shouldn’t have posted under your reply – sorry about that.

      • Then you have no idea what pass agg is ? Your entry for example is not pass agg, it falls into another category.
        Anonymous sniping of the lowest order.

        Get fuqed you bottom feeder. Learn to own your remarks or forever live in the world of one dimension , loser.

        (Oh well, there goes my mars in libra resolution. That lasted what , 5 days ? We have months ? Doh. )

  3. Awesome illo!… Just Divine????

    * I know i always express disdain for Pass-Agg but i am thinking that, with Mars in Libra until late July, it could actually be a lost Martial Art that we reclaim and make over into something Zen.

    OMG, This is so totally happening for me!
    It’s like a particularly profound episode of Monkey Magic or something… & it’s just sort of happening, naturally.

    Those instances that used to turn me into a seething volcano of molten lava crazy, now have me gliding thru in full sagacious Zen Grace mode & with complete acceptance/non attachment.

    I simply cannot explain the transformation, but it feels like the lost Martial Art that Mystic speaks of.

    I’m multi-Libran & Mars has just hit my Pluto at 0 degrees, with the rest of the stellium lined up to follow, like dominos.

    It’s hard to explain, but I feel like Nero (Matrix) dodging bullets effortlessly in slow motion… & it’s a little like walking on clouds, while living a dream (Prog Sun conj Neptune too).

    Anyhoo, I’m loving it ????????????????????

    • I’m also a multiple Libran (and Mars-ruled!) and you just summed up perfectly how this Mars transit is going for me! Things that would usually annoy me seem trivial now. Easier to keep perspective and shrug at life’s ordinary inconveniences. 0°Libra Sun.

      • F…ing Fabulous isn’t it MiloBloom!!?…
        & Oh so effortless.
        Loving it.
        So pleased to hear you’re feeling it too. Was starting to wonder if I’d tripped the light fantastic into another dimension (which of course it seems ‘we’ kinda have).

    • This is very apt! The zen warrior. Yoga poses warrior one and two have been very empowering amidst all the agro crap out there! My Aries bass player and I are locking horns over an incident at our show last night where I thought he was being a douche. I hope we come good but his pride may be a problem. Wish me luck with finding the zen here!!

  4. Well you’ve given us something to mull over this weekend .. Even a triple gem would need at least the weekend to deal with that lot.
    I’m giving the big tick to all of these transits. What else can you do ?
    My focus ? Nowhere. My strategy ? Surrender.
    The universe and it’s composition will one day be known through scientific scrutiny.
    Our existence in this universe though, is scientifically close to impossible and statistically, extremely improbable, no scientist will ever be able to explain it.
    Dark matter annihilation due to galactic offsets is an interesting but ultimately dry subject. The life of one human being a much more interesting one.

  5. Well, I gulped at the “people return” bit, especially when I consider some of the unsavory asswipes Plutogirl and I have worked so hard to vanquish these last couple years.
    About the pass-agg bit – I was thinking, if it weren’t for pass-agg to fall back on, I’d have ruined everything and might be in prison or dead by now, so I see it like some form of medication that is better than nothing, you just don’t want to get addicted to it. If it can be delivered with enough charm, it’s quite tolerable, and without it, there’d be no Downton Abbey for everyone to enjoy, would there now?
    As for the Zap – I’m very grateful, love this, born for it, as painful as it has been. Because lately I’m seeing the other side of it all, which to me is liberation from so much conditioning and karma, feels like manymany lifetimes lifting, leaving me stark, clean, and alone in a beautiful way. Without such powerful forces, not even the mighty Plutoboy would be inclined to move through so much in so short a time. Huge Gratitude.

    • Plutoboy, love your last para, can relate to it, except of course for being a mighty Plutoboy :-)
      , which i am not, more a curious crab type. but it does so feel like a shifting to ‘stark, clean and alone in a beautiful way’. and for this multi canerian, it feels so liberating and real but oh so new. totally out of comfort zone.

    • “no Downton Abbey” hahahaha, that’s why I can’t tolerate watching it, cannot stand pass-agg behaviour *but* as a natal Mars in Aries (yep) I now understand my mission, Mystic, in these challenging Mars-in-Libra times.

      To turn the art of pass-agg into zen magic. Lucky my new mantra = if it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you

      <3 the vanquishing PB, so much more my style, too : ) Luck to you & PG

      • Nice, my Mars-y brother, thanks for the support. I don’t actually watch that show either, though I love the grandeur of it. Mars in Scorp here.
        I love vanquishing, but it takes a toll. It will be nice when it is less necessary (if ever).

        • My apologies, Zenduende – for some reason the Mars in Aries thing just said “man-person”, and I never even considered it.
          What’s another little bit of public humiliation these days, anyway…………………..

  6. MM, I love love that picture! Says so much. I feel like her. I’ve been a hermit almost all my life, it’s a tendency, a pull towards solitude in order to remain centered, happy and efficient. It also assists in remaining neutral around sh*t disturbers. Doesn’t do well for intimate relationships. I’m excited for this zap zone. No holds barred. I’m in the octagon by myself fighting my own demons I’ve nursed Begone!! I’m not fighting others as they are only reflections of my inner world. I’ve seriously recognized that this month. I made the serious intention to be responsible with my energies projected into the world. My energies are so strong that I feel how it affects others I am responsible for it but most importantly I am responsible for myself. No one else is taking care of me but me. So every second I am conscious of how I am expending my energies and where and how and with who. Nothing is ever life and death unless it is physical then I have to act. All the problems, inconveniences, irritations, frustrations, annoyances, are temporary in my life. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve acquired physical limitations which I have learned to accept. Oh well. Everything else looks great and most is in working order. I’m grateful. Said Pluto transiting 12th, mars in libra opposing or squaring my cancer, Aries and Capricorn all over the place. I can’t wait for Pluto and venus to occur in my 1st house at the same time. I won’t be the same after that.

    • Gosh ‘Serenity’ I have Pluto transiting 12th too & have come to exactly the same realizations over the last month… thru very similar circumstances.

      Has been a huge realisation for me… that as soon as we go into fear &/or anger etc, our hearts close down… & so do our glimmering paths & options. Arrgghhh, so painful.
      And while we’re pointing the finger & cursing ‘you A-hole’ under our breath, we are the ones limiting us & our paths, thru that heart space shut down.
      My guidance came thru, once I’d figured out the dynamic: “Yes it’s over. If u don’t tie urself to anyone or anything (thru fear, hate, anger, etc)… you are free!
      Let this be a lesson to you”.
      It seems there is no stronger bond than hate (& anger, fear, negative emotion, etc).
      Curiouser & Curiouser!

      This is the way I deal with challenges now…

      Ask/intend for it to be resolved & ask to be shown what action to take & when… & as best i can, let it go, until I’m guided re: what’s for me to do/intend or take action on next.
      The more fight we put out, the more fight we will get back. The more anger, the more anger, etc.
      It may not make sense when looking out at the 3D from one’s position, but it’s the way it is.

      The more light we put out, focus on, open to & send… the more good options & the more love we gather to & around us… & that energy is the force that builds our access points to the new/path/s.
      It’s simply the dynamic that works here (on earth).

      It’s not easy to send love to someone who we feel is behaving abominably.
      Nor is it easy to go within & get the low down on how we have created the dynamic & how it becomes more arduous the more we align or attach ourselves (thru pain, disappointment, fear, anger or whatever) to that person.

      I just came out of such an experience. Took me two years to REALLY get it.
      We are great manifestors, the sooner we detach from the situation & smother it & all involved in love, the sooner it all resolves.

      Best experience/realisation of my life…
      Never thought I’d say that, of Pluto transmitting the 12th, in Cap.

      • Oops ‘transitting’, although transmitting is probably just as apt.

        Btw Serenity… What degree is your Asc? Wondering when Pluto finally moves out of 12th for you?…
        Mine is 18.56 Cap. Another 3 or so years, but it’s no longer feeling like a life sentence since this realization has seeded itself. In fact it has become wonderful.

        • Thank you for the inspiration Star Inspired. I’m at 17 cap asc. It’s helpful to hear what positive lesson you’ve derived out of pluto transiting 12th house. That same lesson I’ve gone over and over for 30 years, set it free, if it’s meant to be with you, it will come back; forgive ourselves. Having been raised with very critical, cold and judgmental parents, does not help my saturn in 1st, also when i was younger raised by the most loving grandparents ever (jupiter in 1st also). I really feel that life are these concentric circles, and at this phase of my life, those circles are closing in on the center, lessons are learned faster. What is your sun, moon, venus and mars?

          • Oh wow, Pluto moves out of your 12th much sooner then. Congrats! I have a friend who had Pluto conj her Asc earlier this year & the difference in her life now is incredible.

            Yes, I’m feeling the same “life is these concentric circles… lessons are learned faster”. I’ve been experiencing this too.
            Also thinking alot of the astro dynamics, likening it to fractals. ie: the astro terrain is the same, same opportunity to learn same lessons over & over in different guises.

            I have a great chart for ‘intensified learning experiences’.
            My Sun, Merc & Venus are all in the Via Combusta. Uranus is almost in there too at late 14 Libra.
            Sun 20 Libra, Merc 23 Libra (conjunct Spica/Arcturus) & Venus at 2 Scorp.
            My Venus is completely unsuspected & in mutual reception with Pluto (0 Libra, conjunct Lilith) which is conjunct my MC (4 Libra) & both are in the Super Galactic Centre.

            Moon is in 8th at 23 Leo, Sth Node too at 12 Leo.
            Mars is in 2nd at 19 Aqua conj Nth Node (12 Aqua).

            Wanted to ask if Pluto transit thru 12th, has brought you into closer & more frequent experiences with death/dying/illness & being spoken to by those who have passed over?

            I was always sensitive as a child to those who had passed over, often being aware of where accidents or murders resulting in death had occurred… But since Pluto went into my 12th & particularly since it went into Cap, I’ve been like the ‘go to’ girl for dead people to talk to. Most often ill be lying in bed & have for example ‘the niece of a friend’s partner, come to me for a chat & to show me what happened in the car accident she was in. This is not an isolated incident. It’s been happening ALL THE TIME.
            I’ve also been challenged with ‘physical limitations’ as you’ve mentioned above. I’ve put it down to Pluto in 12th + Prog Sun conj Neptune & the Zapzone personified ie: Uranus conjuncting my Chiron (4th H) & Pluto squaring my Chiron, simultaneously.
            Exhausting!… But the soul mining is producing a mother load of treasure ; )

    • Hi Serenity,
      I’m a 3° Cap Asc. Pluto has left my 12th . Yaaaaay :D It’s been a long dark road. I too withdrew for a while during that transit. Much soul searching. Mystic did my chart back in 2008 when Pluto entered Cap. She said that with Pluto on Asc transit I’ll become the person I was meant to be. Damn true! Finally on the right path (see my comment on Emerging Astro) but there was a few failed attempts along the way which led me to where I am today. Thank goodness for the failures!
      Venus is currently in my 1st house. I feel really blessed. Things have finally fallen into place. And next year when I enroll I’ll have Pluto, Sun Venus, moon in Cap all transiting 1st house and true node in my 10th. DESTINY!! :D My progressed Sun in Cap still lingering in 12th. Looking forward to March when it moves into 1st. Happy days. :)

      Anyway, hang in there. Things will be brighter once Pluto exits the 12th

  7. Yes it’s always a thing to recognise romantic ideals for what they are. Never a picnic I’ll agree. Sorrry to hear about the ups and downs with the cap.

    Mind you this is a multi planet Scorpio I was a bit hooked on. Let’s just say I wasn’t daydreaming about long walks on the beach holding hands (although as a pisces, that remains a core competency)

    • ” . . . a core competency”

      Ha! I have little Pisces, but delusions galore. Wising up, though. I am drawn to Scorpios. An astrologer looking at synastry said, “You certainly are one to take on challenges.”

      Mine was a stellium Scorpio with Venus Rx . . . Neptune at 26 degrees Libra, Moon in Leo, 12th house Chiron. I really fell hard. And that was just for kicks – a rebound after 30 years marriage to a man with Sun/Moon/Mercury 1st house Scorpio with Moon/Chiron conjunct in the 11th house. Lots of love, beauty, woundedness.

      It’s a journey. So good to have MM and wisdom shared by this community to become more aware, trust self, and stay awake.

      Love is wonderful; but, there’s no reason we should continue throwing ourselves under the bus.

      • wow, all those scorps do sound like complex creatures, double gem. but yes. it’s no fun to keep stepping under the love bus. we should always check the route number first?! xo

        • Yes, Pi! I later wished that I had written . . . no need to hop on the same bus with slightly different route numbers, despite the new improved resolved features. Yet some rather evident deal breakers . . . including not enough time since your marriage ended! Poor him, as well.

          You know, I must wonder if I ever was with anyone other than a Scorp . . . I knew next to nothing about astro when in my 20′s. Does this knowledge really help? Or is it that you just see more clearly the troubling dynamics as you throw yourself into the fire despite every contrary astro warning?

          Scorps seem to find me, and I eventually do fall into that little sand trap. Beautiful, intriguing, talented people in so many ways. But, I have a lot of illusion and retrogrades around relationships in my chart, and am prone to seeing what I want to see, living on potential. These past years have been a deep process of lifting veils.

          :-) Maybe I am seeing progress. A man has approached me with varying degrees of intensity – I’m cautious, staying solitary for now – he was born on Thanksgiving day, 1950. I had to laugh when I realized that he is just beyond Scorpio into Saggitarius! Moving along, anyway. Also, land of my 7th house north node.

          At this rate, I’ll experience each sign over about 600 lifetimes. :-) If I’m lucky, eh? We’re all blessed [and cursed] in equal measure. My job is to slay my own dragons and show up in a better way.

          Cheers to all! And to you, kind and articulate Pi

  8. ooh lala. venus in cap is on my mars/eros/jupiter/neptune conjunction and eros in scorp on my venus/saturn.

    in the midst of this astro I will be on a (brief) beach vacation. i am parking my ass at a fancy hotel across from the ocean and plan on renting a bike and frequenting my fave smoothie place. i would be happy not to have to talk to another person (unless it is to score some dream weed – makes riding bike even more magical). is it a shame i regret telling some friends I’ll be in town? they already are trying to make plans for me. i will be without a car.. on purpose :D

    as for “people return”ing. gross, please don’t. or am i the one that is returning? jeez hope not. maybe i’ll wear a cool headwrap and glasses.

  9. He was talking about karmic ties and you know the effort implicit in “love as a verb” versus the downward momentum that is sexual desire.
    He wasn’t saying it directly to me par se but just passing on something his teacher had recently said to him
    Sex is never free.
    Made me reflect on a situation I’m experiencing the details of which, you’ll be pleased to know I have absolutely no desire to reveal whatsoever.

    Can I just say ?

    and also


    • Hear hear! Sex is never free. I’m also in lock down mode. Feel like putting on my own chastity belt! Lol. The urge feels like a fleeting instinct to just fuck the pain away but if one gets entangled with the others auric field then yes, there is a certain kind of “payment” one must make.

  10. I spent all morning detailing the house — (whats new) – scrubbing walls and organizing craft supplies (building a shop) — well then mammaw called for some soup & having read weekly scopes (gemini rising) decided to hop all over this job opening down the road. yes, check the manager was there even. got a word in. woohoo. — now reading & excitement over the asteroid. —

    I just love self expression

  11. Maybe if we think of Pass-Agg as The Strategic Pause, The Strategic Space, The Strategic Silence (Pass) to allow the energies to settle before The Deliberate Act (Agg and speaking is action), then i can see how it would be a lost martial art. In fact, THE lost martial art.

    If it’s just avoiding schizz, then no. It’s just avoidance. If it’s just silence to cause angst in someone we care about, then it’s emotionally dishonest.

    • I’d love to think my “friends” pass agging is a strategic pause but it doesn’t feel that way to me. He is just being a F wit. he regularly bitches about friends and ex’s. I’ve heard it for years and now it is my turn. I am writing to him calmly to ask him not to bitch about me. I’m doing it for closure on a 9 year relationship for my own peace of mind.

      Don’t need idiots in my life.

      • ooops just bitched about him when I’m saying he bitches about others.

        Ok deep breath and centre

        Now turn to the light and practice a mind of love that I learnt about in last weekend’s buddhist talk i attended.

  12. Painful ‘un-becoming’ also.
    Day 3 at the hospice.

    Reading ‘The Tibetan Book of Living & Dying’ is seeing me through. Transiting Mars on my Pluto in the 4th – my dying friend is Kataka too.

    Venus transiting my 8th, it’s painful but such an honour to be here.
    Valuing the experience of holding another’s hand as they walk the death road & anchoring light for them.

    (Ps not being maudlin, don’t feel the need to wish sympathy, this just IS, the new era is Grace not sympathy methinks) ;-)

    • Ah I love that book. I keep mine on the mantle along with One River, Many Wells (Fox, 2000) and books of Rilke & Rumi, in between pics of my grandparents who have passed on.

      Sacred journeys. Blessings, Andro. x

      • (I keep mementos of furry animal family who have crossed over in a different place, a floor-to-ceiling stack of shelves I refer to as the Tower of Power. Some talismans from my pregnancy & son’s birth there too.) xx

      • Thanks guys. Sweet!
        I would like to read that Scorp Inc.
        3 in the morning & so many night hours alone in the last few days. Poor nurses are busy. When not attending on Beloved friend & everyone goes I practice Phowa, play quiet crystal bowl music.
        Liking the Tibetan belief that death is the most important moment of yr life – what a thought! Yr character revealed.

        Lovely story of yr sacred bookshelf!
        Wish I could burn a cleansing flame here, but fire hazard of course.
        Soz to go on, but it’s nice to chat here for a mo, like a little normality, cheers peeps.

        • I found a article that healped know where we were ”up to” in the process, earlier this year Andy, not usre if you are interetsed, and i wish not to come across as insensitive, i came across this article after my Father passed, and wished i had read it during my stay with him at the hospital. You may be way ahead of me here already … but i found this helpful in the steps of what is happening with the actual body…felt and sounded like the soul was trying to dislodge itself from the body…hope this makes sense … If you were already aware of these steps, apologies Hun, it was a relief for me, as it became a sort of order/pattern, much like the process of birth .. xx

          • Thank you Cosmic one! That article is a great gift.
            I wish I could have given it to her to read, that line that death is not a failure seems to me is something she might have needed to know.
            As in life, she fights to be here, to succeed on her terms.
            Will pass it to her partner & son, thanks, xx.

    • Dear Andro- My sister said it was so boring waiting to go! I just tried tibe real, present and peaceful for her. She felt she could say anything and it would be OK. Try to get outside in Nature if you can. So lovely of you to be there. It can move quickly when you least expect-

      Courage, strength and peace!


        • Haven’t been here much of late and just catching up quickly now – blessings to you Andro for sharing that part of the journey with your friend. Hope you’re ok xxx

          • Thank you sweeties.
            It was pretty confronting in the end, I am not a nurse & ended up doing a bit of stomach wrenching care. Fuq it was intense.
            Had a Chiro treatment today for respite, coming down with something, but I will be fine PTSD aside.
            Love to you all, support appreciated, grace under fire ‘n all that but still ..unbecoming is hard.

  13. Pass agg sucks IMHO. I’ve been on the wrong end of it for 6 weeks from a “friend” and it has made me angry, despairing,clingy and now I’m up to don’t give a rats. He lives 2 doors down so hard to ignore .I tried to talk with him calmly with no result or a rude response. I took him some fresh strawberries I brought back from Tasmania he said “they may be poisoned’. Yes I said something stupid but it was not that bad and does’nt warrant pass agg.

    I’ve had to cut him off and accept that we are not friends anymore. I hope it opens the door to another friendship.

    • Sounds like he’s power tripping off your sense of guilt or feeling bad. Milking it for all it’s worth. I think you’re doing the right thing by cutting off the air supply to the shitty dynamic. Remove self from equation. Xox you’re cool LG things will change for the better, one way or the other

      • Thx Pi on this weekend of moping about i need a pat on the back. I did bounce back after some volunteer work which is so fulfilling.

        now strong enough to face the lusty leo and our issues.

  14. Fuq Mystic, you were right on cue with the love life recalbrating to hyper bats for Gems. I had plans to do some sexy Saturn stuff to appease the old fart while he’s parked on my Eros and killing my sex life, so much for that idea… x

  15. I don’t know where this fits in the list above but I just found a pair of jeans at the very bottom of my wardrobe that I used to love. At one point they were a bit loose on me. I could at the very least fit into them June last year… it is unfathomable that I will ever be able to fit into them again! Seriously. It’s comical!

    I don’t know how this happened!

    It hurts to become…. too big to fit in your favourite jeans.

    • Lol! Re hurts to become.. Too big etc

      I have two fave jeans, one shredded faded and re-patched, the other skinny black things. Been through at least two too-fat-for phases then slimmed down again. Back in pudgy mode right now but hey it’s a cycle as I now know. Your jeans’ sun will rise again ;)

  16. “I know i always express disdain for Pass-Agg but i am thinking that, with Mars in Libra until late July, it could actually be a lost Martial Art that we reclaim and make over into something Zen.”
    I read that as a lost “marital” art. LOL!

  17. I scored a secure job on Friday the 13th: great pay, perks & benefits, flexibility & longevity. You nailed it, Mystic.

    I really balked at this prospect initially, though, because it involves heavy rotations at nursing homes. Nursing homes/institutions: hello, Mars in my 12th! I’ve always hated nursing homes: the smells (Libra moon), the confinement (north node in Sagg)… And besides, I have been dedicating myself to working alone this past year because I thought that was where it was at for me, not with a company. I mean, I *am* a company all by myself, right? lol

    But, Evolve or Evaporate: oh how I have Struggled over this last year, from money matters to colleagues who can’t deliver, and have made little progress for all my effort. Worrisome. I challenged myself to look at this new 12th house opportunity a different way, & i saw a great channel for my Pluto-Moon & 1st house Chiron, as well as a practical use for my multiple Scorp 8th house. Grief, loss, transformation? Let’s explore. I was born for all that, baby.

    When I said yes to to this, yes to the universe, this company called me for an interview via skype– with no warning! I threw my thinking cap on in a hurry & did the interview in a sweatshirt, hoping I had no spinach between my teeth at least. That was Friday the 6th; on Friday the 13th they offered me the job.

    In the first part of January the company is bringing me to its hq several hours from my home for a 2-day orientation, all expenses paid– such a rarity where I live & in this line of work! Everything about this company is very rare, and very wonderful. With so many things that looked assured & great but turned out to be a dead end over this past year, I am hesistant to feel much excitement until I’ve signed on the dotted line & that first paycheck is in my hands, but,

    HELLS YES, astro fiends! It only hurts for a little bit. ;)

    • I think this is a fabulous Mars placement & Chiron in the 1st for this role?! Chiron there surely helps the people see you burning with that healing energy.
      Mars in 12th will keep you stable & strong I feel, able to move the air around you at will! (I’ve been spraying my vodka lavender crystal essence spray over me the last few days when the air fugs up, it disperses & tightens up the air).
      Best of luck, hope you enjoy it! At least, you are changing lives for the better, how many of us are able to do that? And getting paid for it is nice. Biking & sunshine will be a lovely antidote I suppose. Libran Pluto-Moon role perfection too. Nurturing Persephone style, she is a lady of the Spring, season of sweet flowers!

      • I was warrior-ing out with a friend & in between sword throws I told her Chiron’s story. She said, “Wow, I sure could *clang* use a Chiron right now *clang*!” I nearly dropped my sword. I said, “You are Chiron. I am *clang* Chiron.” In the shop I would say she has a very external locus of control; on the field with her, I said, “Wtf– wake up!”

        My natal Mars is in Scorp/8th house; true node is on it presently. Persephone on my DC in Virgo. Lady Spring, yes! I live for the equinoxes :)

        Thank u Andro xx

    • Wow! I just got an email from someone who wants to discuss full time work- rehab admin- with benefits! Mine evaporated- tx to HCA changes. Calling tomorrow! Onward !!

    • really impressed with how you reframed all that scorp inc. wondering what i can do differently too. I hope it’s everything you ever wanted in your work.

      a couple of grief/loss/transformation comments have popped up in this post. I met someone fabulous in my corner of the world who makes this her profession. As we were talking I remembered some people here talking about death doulas and similar. And the way that there are beginnings of a practice with this, accepting and working with death more as a culture. Does anyone know are there organisations or online communities that specifically deal with this? I would love to be able to share that info. thanks xx

      • Our family has experienced alot of death/loss/grief over the last few years & we’ve felt quite challenged by the clinical environments & general societal denial & ignorance around death, cycles of life, 8th house matters per se, etc…

        However, I was really re-inspired & heart warmed by ‘Karuna’ a Brisbane (Australia) based charity, who are doing things differently. Their little leaflet has a Lotus flower on the front along with ‘The joy of giving. Dedicated holistic support – the kindest care.’… & then the following:
        ‘Karuna is inspired in serving the community by the ideals & examples of the Dalai Lama, our Spiritual Patron whose lifelong mission is to serve others with Universal compassion & kindness. Our dedicated team of health professionals & volunteers provide in-home care that gives people the courage & confidence to face deteriating illness & loss.’

        They offer:
        ~holistic palliative care.
        ~dedicated support to help people understand, prepare for & face the end of life with calm & acceptance.
        ~education to empower people to live a meaningful & happy life while coming to terms with uncertainty & change.

        It was just a really nice ‘raft’ to come across, when floating in a sea of personal loss/grief & societal denial/ignorance etc.

        • thank you Star Inspired! I really appreciate that. I’m sorry you and your family have been through such a hard time in recent years. Yes clinical environments, while they exist for a very good reason, are still pretty difficult places to manifest the kind of intimacy, comfort and togetherness that a farewell-to-life really needs.. in my limited experience at least.

      • Not a small feat for someone so astro fixed at birth lol. My chart is predominantly water & I think I’m getting how I can use all that fluid power for progressive movement. Not that school’s out– not by a long shot! More to come. Thank u Pi xx

    • Congrats Scorp Inc. Such wonderful news. I’m also really impressed that you challenged yourself up look at the opportunities within the 12th. Way to work the astro!! :D

  18. Interesting regarding the Martial Arts comment.. I have been missing my training so much and lately it has been a focus for me. Through my acting I have met stunt men / women who obviously release videos of fights. One girl is an amazing martial artist. I loved watching talented actors with the martial arts. It just gets me going. To find a school that I can utilize with my 10 years of training has been a struggle. So, with that comment I hope to incorporate a martial arts / zen approach through my running. Just a quick thought.

    Things are definitely breaking open. Not sure what is coming out of Pandora’s box but something is!


    • Ooh, fascinating VE!… I have a friend/ex partner, whose passions are acting & Martial Arts. He lives in Melbourne & is often flying off to Hong Kong to make movies & play/train with amazing people who worked with Bruce Lee, etc.
      can give you the training school/place he works at if its of any use to you (?!)

  19. ~And they’ll ask you where you’ve been…And you’ll have to tell them again and again~

    Hadn’t listned to Dido White Flag album/cd in years but last night I did as I drove around.

    “See the Sun”

    Can’t say how much I loved and adored her and the inspiration as I went thru back surgeries early 2000′s.

    She is Cap, Moon in Aries it appears. My Cap Moon was a bit disappointed in her cussing but then I do a fair share…at least on line. I rarely cuss in person as find it offensive.

    ~My gawd you need to rinse those puffy eyes~


  20. Is Venus retro yet? Because somebody did come back. My husband.
    I had the “If I could turn back time” speech from him last night. He is going through all kinds of merde, all his grief catching up with him, poor guy. I have compassion. And how healing it was to hear him apologise for his actions, and to hear him say what he liked/loved about me.
    The trouble is it’s too fuqing late. I cried all night. Human beings, huh?

    • Oh he is a multi-Cap – Sun Saturn Jupe Merc. Neptune in Scorp rising, Gem moon in the 8th. His SN exact conj my Pisces sun stellium.

    • awww :( I hate those “it’s too late” moments.

      Venus goes retro this Saturday but often the effects can be felt a few days before.

      Gem moon… hmm. This full moon in Gem will be illuminating his natal moon.

      At least you got some healing words… closure! Start the new year afresh

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