Ibid Is My Favourite Author

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So far i have one pass-agg guilting communique, one smashed potatoes/wine/Game of Thrones bender (complete with nervous breakdown from Not The Typical Virgo), one heart-felt psychologically purging bonding session, and one Qi Vampire fuqing with my self-deprecating anecdote by actually deprecating me mid-story.

All i said (and this is sadly true) is that before I was 20, i always thought Ibid was an actual author. Like a cousin of Ovid or someone. And the Qi Vamp jumped straight in to say that was “retarded.”

Seriously this going to be one stink of a Mercury Retro – i KNOW it has epic potential and all the metaphysical brilliant themes are in the Horoscopes etc but let’s be realistic; it also has the possibility of devolving into a carbed up bitch fest, don’t you agree?

I mean this is a LOT Of Yin energy. Ladies, how about a pop-up store that is actually a Menses Hut & you can hire a Muu-Muu at the door + we have Blue Devil  Hoochie Juice and my special Smashed Potato recipe. Then we come out when Mercury is in Leo, so OVER all that hippie schizz and head straight to the nearest spray-tan/hair straightener place, incognito and in the mood to discuss nothing but our thoughts on thread count and cinema.

Reality Tv Gifs

 

163 thoughts on “Ibid Is My Favourite Author

  1. I had the thought this morning in car that this is going to be a strange merc retro. It was a new morning and weird Monday energy, but I put that down to the whoppa Moon Sunday naught sky.

    It officially started for me today.

  2. How rude! I read the first half of the sentence, and thought what a sweet story, next thing Qi Vamp is butting in on my sweet moment and ruining it! I think it is a lovely story Mystic, and shows you must have been reading something with references – very clever pants. Meantime my merc retro started on Sat when I turned up at the hair dresser for an appointment, one lady greeted me at the door and asked me to sit down, then went to speak to another, who was busy hair cutting, then they went out the back, then the haircutting lady got back to it and only 10 mins later did anyone come to tell me that my hairdresser had called in sick. It all seemed quite odd – surely they could have greeted me at the door with – Hi, oh sorry we didn’t have your number but your fabulous hair goddess is not in today, so we’ll have to reschedule your appointment. Bizarro world. Communication people!!!

      • I to have had it with living here for over 35 yrs. Everything one could want is here within walking distance. Beach, beautiful library, eateries. Yes, until other’s came a destroyed it all with they’re hoity toityness. Fussy holier than thou yuppies in Volvo’s, Beemers & Benz’s. Yea I’m ready. But where to remains unknown. Maybe a few exotic places before I settle once again.

  3. Please, please, please if I am one of the scenarios above remove me from the subscriber lists now. Not because I am pass agg but because my astro is about being heard and respected. Anything else is not a site of growth.

      • Okay I will at your suggestion but passive aggression is about learnt helplessness/hopelessness which often leads to depression. This isn’t my lived experience anymore.

    • Confused… I don’t understand what in Mystic’s post would prompt you to write this? Or think that she is writing anything specifically about you?

      • Equally confused. Nothing about the post is about you, Ceres, unless you decide it is. Were you present in one of these moments described?

        MM has Merc in Aries, which means she’s direct when she communicates. And she’s positive without shellacking her words with woo-woo sugar. And even when she isn’t positive, she’s, uhm…direct.

        Step back. It’s Merc retro, for heaven’s sake. Miscommunications Central. And a Full Moon few days. Unpleasant feelings likely to emerge, yes? MM can post on them without losing her Growth cred, right?

        • Ceres, are you a virgo? Lol. Yeah nothing in MMs blog indicates you but you made it about you. If it weren’t for humor we’d all be on Prozac or Zoloft. This is a classic example of psycho merc Rx. Psycho as in it totally makes no sense. Oh no. I just stuck foot in mouth! Haha

  4. Obviously Biatch doesn’t know that ‘retarded’ is THE new black Mystic darling…

    *Cranks the heater up in the Menses Hut, layers Poncho over Muu-Muu over Onesie, dons rainbow faux fur uggboots and pours herself another saffron liqueur*
    xo

    • Haha! Can I come in? I will be discussing alpaca wool quality of poncho (can’t keep a good Leo down). Baileys anyone? :)

    • Ooh yeah. Cept I’m in blue mountains in said hut, rain making and rocking a feeling of active dread- which sounds weird but is actually positive feelings re world situations that engender helpless passive .ag bender realities
      Being surrounded by larger-than-me wild landscape is massive tonic. I’m coming out revigged and ready to make good. Not interested in tan or fakery but shall always be in praise of the muumuu.

  5. Yep, I just read the most interesting interview of my life and it rippled a gazillion inspirational particles ~ that’s a definite sign (make that sign #2) that merc retro is ON. That’s what it is like for me. Often, I get ideas that are like dynamite or genius but it only happens during merc retro (I could put it down to I have merc exalted). It’s my execution of an idea during merc retro that is a little miscalculated and the potential for genius becomes pure batty. On the other hand, it could be the merc retro that is the influence of a usual batty idea starts to look blissfully genius. (me thinks the latter)

    All about fantasy and reality getting mushed up in the retro.

  6. I can tell that this Mercury Retro is going to be good for journaling and reading novels. But I think it may also bring up more than the common share of pass-ag scenarios.

    I’m proud of myself for dealing yesterday with just such a scenario with someone who was going to rent me a living space for the month of July. She kept changing the goalposts about when my rent was due, when I could move in, when I had to leave. I promptly found another place to stay; told her I didn’t appreciate the way she was treating me and asked for my deposit back; and am moving on with my life.

    I also realized yesterday that I need to definitively let go of some work scenarios from the past and the Qi-vampire actions of a former co-worker. It became so clear to me that her behavior was all about *her* and her insecurities and had very little to do with me. I need to stop seeing the whole dynamic as somehow a sign of my weakness in the workplace. Rather I should be proud of myself for assessing the situation, removing myself from it, and moving on to a better job.

  7. mystic! am I right in reading that this merc retro will last a year!- as you have said on the dailies page?! surely not… *scared* x

  8. What? Heaven help us to admit there’s something we DON”T KNOW!!!

    I reckon it’s almost a compliment Mystic. Obviously the twerp who called you a retard expected you to know EVERYTHING, because most of the time this is an extremely informative site – intellectually, psychologically and mystically, oh and astrologically of course!

    And Ceres, you need to read up on passive aggressive behaviours. “passive aggression is about helplessness/hopelessness”. What?

    Passive = not taking an active part. Aggressive = full of anger or hostility.

    People use a combination of these behaviours to express their own refusal without actually saying no, and to create anger in the ‘perpetrator’ through lack of cooperation. It’s using your anger toward another person without any actual hostility.

    The depression part is when an inability to express refusal or disagreement turns into disgust and disappointment in yourself for not being able to say no outright. Learn to express your anger functionally if you are having a problem with that. Hope you are well mentally. Seek help if you are drowning in self-aggression.

    • Thanx for explaining pass-agg to me. I thought it was being very polite when you were actually quite angry, like when dealing with errors of utility companies, slack sales peeps, tardy lawyers & so on instead of yelling ‘fuq you’ down the line.

      • But then they deal with their unexpressed anger by little niggly asides/put-downs etc etc… Pass-ag bleugchh – I did that with my long-ago ex-husband, I was so goddamn angry all the time. Moved on since & therapy & kinesiology helped me amend my behaviour – no way I wanted to go back to that. Now I’m on high alert when others act this way, and they do, unfortunately…

      • Ooh yes please! Gotta eat something savoury before I move onto my pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked.

        All to be eaten while watching Borgen, surrounded by my cats.

        • is very basic – you boil high quality potatoes – like organic sebago – until they are a bit mushy and then you drain, put in frying pan with already hot olive oil, then you smash them up with knife/fork/hammer, whatever you have, the bottom of your wine bottle even. And then you crush garlic and tumeric over them, salt/pepper and cut any fresh herbs you have to go on top – basil, parsely, rosemary and you can make them if you have been drinking. Drunken Potatoes are an old anglican recipe.

            • If yer drunk, does it matter? ;-)

              Drunk = unpeeled. No handling sharp objects!

              Hungover = unpeeled. Who cares about the f*ing peeler?

              Stone sober = as you please, peeled or unpeeled.

          • Best. Ever. Recipe. Two of my fave things… potatoes and wine! Can’t wait to try it.

            Also a fan of Special Cheesy Mash… mashed potatoes, add a little chopped purple onion, and lots of cheese, butter and parsley… warm the milk before adding so it’s really hot. The ultimate comfort food!

          • hahaha ‘hammered potatoes’, yup proper metal mashers with the perforation and bent ends are a bit twee.
            Drink the wine first then be hammered WITH the potatoes :-)

          • Yummo to the Max, Mystic. I helped out at the Eveleigh Markets in the city and discovered an amazing varieties of potatoes. The guy who specialises in organic potatoes said that the reason Sabago’s are so cheap is because they grow the quickest. That is why you get so much of it in Woolworths etc. I adore supporting the small green grocer but just cannot afford it when feeding loads of people.

            My son and DIL and 2 year old and newborn are living with me at present…..as I am stupid and a masochist. I love them to bits but a few weeks has gone on for months :(.

            Anyway, my Virgo son is annoying the crap out of me. He keeps correcting me with how I should do stuff whilst they all sit on their backside. I go to work, come home late, put bags down, cook, clean etc etc…and am sleep deprived because of the sweet baby and 2 year old monster! :(

            As for that ibid snob….:( …. the Pox on them!

  9. Ah well. I am guilty of the occasional Pass-Ag attack, foot-in-mouth episode and self-guilting.

    But I’m resolving right now to spend this Mercury in Cancer retrograde writing love letters and nourishing everyone around me (starting with myself).

    • PS. Mystic, you’re amazing and I KNOW you aren’t going to let someone’s silly remark ruin this transit. Or eat nothing but potatoes and hooch and ruin le perfect derriere when the later-Leo-transit demands fabulousness. Stay strong xx

  10. Merc retro started for me last week when I accidently left my almost-new ipad on the roof of my car….it promptly blew off and was run over a few times before I could retrieve it…#wtfuqlol

  11. wow… trippy… sounds like my world for weeks… just deciding now to go no carbs, making a date to quit… at least for a month or two… wanted to buy a car… why do all the sales have to be now when merc retro!!!

    Technically a car is not a form of communication… nor does it have a contract… it is transport… maybe it would be ok to purchase during a merc retro???

    Thoughts??

  12. Also mm… I love that you admitted to 20 something ignorance… I do that all the time.. and people just cant handle the confidence it takes to admit to our faults/ignorances etc… you know they say the wisest people are the ones that admit to not knowing…. everyone else is just being a competitive fake.

    • I’m on a game of thrones bender too, and now realising I might have to eat all the pasta and wine before I go on nosugar thinngo…

    • i thought it was a cute story too. geez everybody makes mistakes. I’m sure whoever called you retarded must have grown up with those who pretty much crucified them publicly for every misstep they made. i have a casual friend who is like this;she can’t even help it. I feel sorry for her because she is not brave. She is afraid to take new risks and is afraid of public humiliation. How sad to live in that cage ne?

  13. omg freaky… what does it mean on the daily horoscopes page where you have written mercury in cancer retrograde :::: for a year:::::: confused

  14. Hang on – this Mercury retro lasts for A YEAR? How did I miss that little bit of intel???

    My Virgo Vision is going to be working overtime.

      • Nah. *Low* Venus in Cap is “I do it for what I can get out of it.” Very reductive, pov.

        *Low* Mars in Libra, is Grand Lodge Master, Thrice Exalted of pass-agg. Always looking to see how the Other responds.

        Both Cardinal signs, so they never sit on their hands. It like a couple who spend all their energy on keeping up with The Joneses. –Except they ARE the Jones.

  15. Uh, yeah: I feel like I’m watching a carbed up bitch fest evolve right before my eyes.

    People, chill. *Everyone* has moments of pass-agg behavior every now & then; no one is perfectly active or reactive all the time. No one. How do you know if your own or another’s pass-agg is a bona fide problem requiring professional intervention? When it’s effecting your life/most all your relationships. That’s not a really common occurence, though. What is common is imperfection, and grey areas.

    I think the underlying theme here is tolerance, or a lack thereof. Seeing the world & people in general in black & white ways will only frustrate the hell out of you because most situations/people are not “either/or.” It’s not a realistic expectation, not of the world nor of yourself.

    Of course we each have our boundaries of what is acceptable & what is not, and that’s healthy: honor those. But remember that none of us are immune to either boneheaded actions/reactions or to misjudgments of others that are inextricably biased and subjective. People & their behaviors are complex: doesn’t astro illustrate as much?

    • Of course, I have in my mind a clinical construct for “pass-agg” and so, there are two different entities up for discussion here: the pass-agg, & the qi vamp. In my mind, they are not one in the same, as my qi vamp construct is not clinical, but psychic. As in “psyche,” a la Jung.

      To me, the qi vamp is a different beast: this is the person who seems to have a radar for when someone is already down– waits for the signal to come in– and then strikes, with the intention of psychically maiming for his (or her) own benefit. Qi vamps are like the psyche predators who quietly observe the herd and wait to see a limping calf, separate the calf, and then devour the calf. If I had to put a clinical construct on “qi vamp” the closest I can come is some of the personality disorders, like antisocial or narcissistic or avoidant; the pervasiveness of these disorders comes closest I think to really describing the totality that is Jung’s psyche. And a vampire of the psyche.

      Two different things, in my mind.

      • – but don’t get paranoid & place unrealistic expectations on yourself, like, “I can never show weakness: otherwise the vamps will come for my soul.” That’s why being real about vulnerability or feeling beat down is so courageous: qi vamps do lurk among us, waiting…

        All of us are the limping calf at times. Don’t deny or hide: just always be packing, know what I mean? You know the qi vamp, the one who seems to have a knack for fucking with you as soon as you start to taste dirt in your mouth? Spit that dirt back in their face. Kick your little ass off, hooves flying everywhere. Vamps want an easy meal. Don’t be easy. Always be ready to come out with your skills up. Simple as that.

        • Scorp Inc… what a nice thought provoking series of perceptions.

          You mentioned that most people/situations are neither here nor there and I think that’s totally true. For me knowing that and actually keeping it in mind when up against situations/people who are unreasonable I seem to automatically go into warrior mode with my Aries sun.

          I am at Uni and have had full on Qi Vamp professors… it’s very uncomfortable and I almost instinctively fight or flee when I sense it. Like I’ve literally walked out of class… O_o

      • Yes. I agree w the personality disorders and description of qi vampire. It’s about destroying, hurting, but Clearly a depressed, insecure, resentful, Filled with self-hatred character-Not to take personally, boundaries are important, required kryptonite force Field to deflect that toxic negative energy.

  16. Freeeee-dommmm!!

    Dumping the known Qi-drainer personas, projects as I type..

    At last I admitted: this is a bore, this is a sink, that one? toss it out.

    I am into head-space cleaning.

    I had a hellish time (Mystic — I will reply soon) and now roaring back to my life.

    Mercury retro is perfect for –revision–

    • Mystic, forget about the pass-agg Qi Vamp, their insecurity is more annoying than their comments. As if we had a hand in their misery.

  17. I had a run in with my home owner’s association board of directors this morning. Woman was chasing my cat. If I was in doubt about needing to move (which I was not) they just confirmed it for me.

      • Thanks! It was like “if you are doubting selling your house, doubt no more!” I told the Universe I’d work on getting my house ready to sell while it works on finding the right new home for me. Fingers crossed!

        • Damn, that’s some ruthless clarity. Best of luck, sweetie, and may your next lapis womb room be a thousand times better.

        • condo? I can see why you want to leave. good luck and sending you 8H vibes that you be greeted soon with the Zillow get out of jail + collect 200 community card

  18. BTW – I have to buy a new computer for my next job. So…should I rush to do it before Tuesday or does it really matter at this point? It feels like Mercury retro is already active. I have a friend that contacts me every Mercury retrograde and she called on Saturday night.

      • Thanks! That’s what I’ll do. I need it by mid-July, so I guess today is the day! Then, I can spend time getting my house ready to sell, which should be more mercury retro friendly.

        • I’d be cautious, but most things I buy second hand during mercury rx go off without a hitch. Because RE-trograde is all about the RE-use & RE-cycle!

        • Gren , for what its worth really think this through. I found this is the best way to get icky with friends. I like keeping money and business away from friends. As when stuff does not work or conks out suddenly; it creates issues….

          • merc retro. How opportune…that a deal appears to pick up my first apple product in a quasi inopportune time. well found out today that its a 2 not a 4 so I can haggle. anywyas she’s a coworker friend and straight arrow. I’ve got a week to mess around with it.

            crazy thing is my PC crashed shut off 4 times today. And I broke excel.

  19. Hysterical! You crack me up.
    That is the kind of comment I expect every other minute from certain persons in my environment. Was this person an Aquarian by any chance?

  20. My Gemini friend is going on a retreat to a monastery for a couple of days. She doesn’t like it when I tell her about Mercury retrogrades. I had to bite my tongue, I wanted to tell her we needed to work on her website before the Rx and it would be better for Gems to be cloistered after the Rx started. But that is none of my business, I guess.

    • Alarm bells going off on this one.
      I pray that this ‘monastery’ is legit – beware false Gurus!
      Hope you are not in South East Queensland because the ‘dodgie brothers’ that were kicked off my mountain are still lurking about.

      • Oh no, nothing like that. It’s a perfectly normal retreat location, I know plenty of people who go there. It’s cheap and it’s just a bunch of catholic monks who run a little B&B sort of business on the side to keep the monastery funded. It’s not like a resort or anything, and it’s not a place you go and consult with a guru. It’s just for people who want a few days of solitude and some long walks in the woods.

        • Sounds wonderful. Charles, could you please tell us where? Is it in NSW? I would so love to get some clear space around me. Everyone else has taken over my home and I am feeling stir crazy……. so would love a cheap, sweet place to recharge my batteries.

          • I live in the Central USA so it’s probably not practical for you. But I’m sure there are good retreats almost everywhere. I really want to find a hot springs spa retreat but there is nothing within hundreds of miles of me.

        • Whew!
          And my sincere apologies.
          Sadly there are bogus spiritual organizations out there that take advantage of, manipulate and pray on already vulnerable souls who are seeking spiritual comfort and guidance.
          It’s a MAJOR sore point with me (HELLO therapy), and most peeps on this blog know of my story and of my experience with just such a group.
          Hope your friend finds her Peace.

  21. i’m looking to possibly relocate to florida, for a better job, more pay, growth prospects. my gut tells me i need to use this window of opportunity, that jupiter is an auspicious placement, yada yada. but im nervous and i won’t lie, my self image is a bit low – the sun opp saturn is not very brand enhancing. why mars in 12th wants nothing to do with talking game about my qualities as a team player and excellent specialist. the energy is low, support nonexistent, but somehow i show up to work, and work hard, bolstered by new genius and personal advancement schemes.

    what do you guys think? it’s not my ideal location, but hell, i don’t know what that is anymore. i used to put such a mythical adoration on mountain and pacific time zones that i wouldn’t even think about staying on eastern standard…but traveling all over the last couple of years trying to find “home”, my outlook is more sober and realize that maybe for me, home is not a physical place. so what’s left to philosophize? maybe i’ll find a piece of mind in an area that i once overlooked, while i was out searching for chimeras.

    • forgot to mention, its the best looking prospect that’s come across my desk. haven’t found shit in my “ideal” locales. i’ve already passed up on another in a similar area that i have some regrets, so this just strengthens the case that maybe the universe is trying to sway or direct me…

      but merc retro and other shenanigans has me tense, since i do have fixed energy, it has me somewhat rooted. i know i need to leave my current place behind, it’s a safety net for when i get sideways in life and bite the dirt hard, but there are too many memories to the past that feed the neptune beast and that just isn’t satisfying anymore.

      • It sounds like you’re answering your own question. I know that the insights I got from the eclipse were clear and that’s what I am following up on now. So, while it may not be the best time to buy a new computer, I need to be more independent come next eclipse in November, so it has to happen now. I feel like this summer is the time to make bold changes, merc retro or not, as we are in the zap zone between eclipses.

        I hear you on the mourning of the dream you thought you knew you needed perhaps not being the thing at all. When I got divorced, I asked the Universe for a job and the ability to keep my house. Now, I ask for the Universe to find the right place for me to live because I’ve been holding on to something that isn’t right for me. I thought it was! And I feel stupid about that, but no time for guilting. Its time to change what I can. Sounds like its the same time for you :-)

        • To be shorter about it: Ask yourself what move will make you more independent – financially/emotionally/spiritually? That’s probably the right one.

        • thanks 12hv, i’ve been following your story and just admire your ability to untether from a toxic or stagnant professional setting and go your own way. and sounds like you can pick your job at will. that’s the independence i want. i have some of that now, but unfortunately i need to perform on better stage.

          • Don’t doubt yourself. I have Jupiter in my 6th house Natal which helps with finding work. And Jupiter on my MC by transit. I’m just working my lucky streak.

            It hurts to realize I’ve been working for things that suit others or my dead ideas. Like you said about the pacific area. It’s ok to change your mind, but it is an emotional challenge to accept the change too. At least, that’s the astro in cancer way. Feel your way ahead and trust yourself.

            • really, i thought 6th had moreto do with health and the body, less service…the ability to handle all kinds of duress gracefully and heal on the fly. my saturn conjuncts jupiter as well so it’s a gifted house for me. i may be defcon-2 anxiety prone all the time, with nerves on a wire, and can still keep a good form and candy coat.

              anyways, i’m going to soak in a bath, do some prep, and hope the phone call goes well. alas, nothing to lose and a lot to gain. i am committing myself fully to trusting the charts.

              this about made me cry (damn cancer)

              http://www.michaellutin.com/nextweekreview.html

              • That lutin piece was gorgeous. I hope your interview went well. Florida, huh? A test indeed in openness and flow, but then again I share your regional biases. Very ZZ to fracture those walls and find the diamond within. Xox

                • He he.Huh?Isright.DontDon’tknowwhatimthinkingbut,willenyertaientertainallleads.Idoneedmorewaterinmylife.MayberunawaytothailandThailandandbecomeanexpat??

  22. Mystic, like you need to care what a qi vamp thinks!, fuck her (not literally, unless you want to?) potato smash and a glass of wine is necessary blow the fuck off steam sometimes, when you are as fit as you sound you can go the odd day off, no? after all we are only human. I’m making aubergine pakora guilt free and fuck the haters I still look great and I’m not slacking.

    Having said that I’ve put the cap to work in the gym after his ” I want to get back into modeling/can you be my agent?” comment. Hilarious. Everyone knows that is such a shit idea, to combine work with personal on the cuff, but I think he’s getting off on the idea myself. This was a couple of months ago, I did a shoot and now he has a real gig. It’s not official status though he treats it like one, I feel more like hunter s thompson’s lawyer in fear and loathing, as your agent, I suggest…

    Full on energy shifts right now. Kataka kicking my biz rear into gear. Love to all :)

  23. Am I the only witch LOVING the Merc retro vibe already?????!!!!

    Yes you see peeps who tell me to cut the emo deep psyche crap that IS my Kataka Sun/Merc in 8th sextile Pluto Trine Neptune …are now all running to mama moonie…poetic astrological justice, non?

    And will she snort and say “I told you so you’d have to face it one day?” No I’ll be there with chicken soup, cuddles and and and and ….a smugly smile

    ;)

  24. Was feeling better until today. Nostalgic. Bittersweet memories. How can it be that I am the only one who can’t see that he’s not a good person for me? Fam and friends see it and yet I can only manage to see his good side – the side only I saw?

    It’s foggy and I am lost.

    I wouldn’t call myself a Love Zombie because I haven’t engaged in stalkerish behaviour etc. But I have suddenly gone really silent. I feel the need to live in my head. Cry lots. Relive the memories. Remember our conversations.

    • “How can it be that I am the only one who can’t see that he’s not a good person for me?”

      It’s called denial honey and I mean that in the purest, clinical sense of the word. Denial is often created when a person/substance/thing generates a strong chemical reaction of pleasure in our brain. It’s so overpowering that it effectively cuts the rational mind out of the loop and thus we lose the ability to see the truth about the situation. Detoxing from the guy and the feeling associated with him is pretty much the only way to undo this process and return back to normal … then you will see things with more clarity.

      • ps. soz if that sounded hardass but I’ve got Saturn in my 6th house and Pluto in my 8th at the mo’ … it’s all hardass reality around here. :mrgreen:

      • No it didn’t sound hardass at all. I’m grateful for any ones perspective. I need reality right now. I guess I also feel lost because my ex had radically different v.ps on things I held to be so true before. A mini inner-rev has taken place and I’m lost as how to reconcile that with the self I was before this relationship.

        Aside from letting go of the man/relationship…how does one let go of the life one had imagined for the future – the castles in the air? The dreams? I was actively working towards them and it feels like the rug has been pulled from under me.

        • I’m feeling that to. Give yourself permission to want what you want and not make sense of it. I don’t mean the bad boy – I mean the different perspective. You can’t count on a partner to live ignored aspects of yourself.

        • Yeah that’s a toughie …. for me it came down to my spirituality in a very practical sense. I decided that perhaps “me, myself and I” just is not that great at determining what’s best for me from a long-term, big picture perspective. A quick scan over my relationship history was testimony to the fact that I had unfathomably high expectations and ideals, but my actual relationship experience was shonky, painful and quite frankly a bit low-rent. So I decided to trust “my version of god/the universe etc” to sort that stuff out. It’s taken a bit of going backwards and forwards – DropCap was deffo me instigating and trying to direct things, and ohmegad what a fuqtard he turned out to be. Have let go again as a result! lol … but yes, there is a grieving process involved – letting go of the old dream is painful, but trusting that something far better awaits helped me get through it.

          • Guilt. That’s the main reason I’m finding it difficult. That I could have done more. Could have shared my feelings like he wanted me to. Been a kinder, softer and gentle woman. I don’t know why I was angry all the time. Maybe because my core self wasn’t accepted.

            Guilt. Of not being more loving. I am also to blame for the way I behaved. And I can’t go back and change it.

            • I’ve found that when I’m angry all the time with someone and I can’t figure out why, or what my problem is, and I go around thinking ‘what is wrong with me, I’m always so angry with x’, then what is really going on is that person is actually undermining me and my emotions are letting me know that, but my rational head is trying to write it off or sweep it under the carpet.

        • sounds like you experienced growth through the relationship – you don’t need to be reconciled with the person you were before – that person is gone. You are who you are now and hopefully will continue to grow – which might mean getting in touch with your core self, and that might not bear much relation to who you were. If that makes sense….Castles schmastles. your real life awaits :) Onwards!

    • Denial but “foggy” sounds like a strong Neptune transit of sorts

      Neptune opp my Venus/Moon/Juno basically completely screwed me up like this, my world as I knew it disappeared because all I could see was the illusions/ delusions, I threw everything over for that magic. :(

      • Checked: Neptune over my mercury (12th house/virgo). Apart from that didn’t find it opp my venus, moon or juno. Still has such an effect though right? *newbie*

        It’s almost like I can’t quite remember the relationship. It’s just one sweet dream with the last months being painful and toxic.

        • I agree with prowlncrab – denial! But here’s the thing… you need to see it for youself, and it doesn’t matter how many people point it out to you – you need to be ready to “hear” the message, and then feel the pain of that message. Personal experience speaking here – 16 year marriage dissolved and now people are coming out of the woodwork telling my what they really thought of the soon to be ex. But I never wanted to hear it, and lost people in my life over the years.
          You need to be in the right space to be able to receive the message. Good luck!

  25. I also thought Ibid was an author! And felt a right git when it was pointed out.

    I also remember pronouncing Goethe as written and getting trounced for it by pretentious then-boyfriend.

    I’ve lost beautiful woolen comfort-y scarf which my mother knitted for me—how’s that for merc-rets in Kataka!?

    Oh and the chocolate cravings have been through the roof. Yes, bring on the menses hut pop up shop with warm ponchos and scarves and a chocolate fountain.

  26. Feeling fabulous. Have thoroughly nested in my house after a week of vigorous old-vibes-and-actual-dust cleaning sessions. New Virgo housemate has moved in and is lovely (well – so far) and aside from adjusting to new boy smells it’s all good. The new diet is working insanely well. Have lost 6kg, skin and hair look amazing … now to ditch the cigs.

    Just can’t complain at all!

  27. I am using the Drag Queen Latrice Royale as my inspiration from now on:
    http://youtu.be/030RTkcTUao
    (For those who have not watched Ru Paul’s Drag Race:1. Latrice spent some time in prison 2. ‘Sickening’ is to look so good it makes people sick and 3. DO WATCH IT).

  28. I need Drunken Potatoes! Stat!!!

    Feeling good, but feeling everything…

    Feeling under pressure at work to “fix” everything – starting to turn me pass agg, but I’m desperately trying not to go that place.

    Need to buy new laptop before end of financial year – on the top of the “to do” list for tomorrow – yikes!

    The Sagg soon to be ex randomly dropped into child handover time, that we needed to discuss if separation/divorce was really the future. WT??? What part of all the horrendous things you screamed at me at the point of the split do you think have changed? Do you think I’ll forget the physical exchange that caused me to call the police?

    And then there’s my beloved but mixed up Aqua/Leo… finally I feel like I’m truly understanding the past year… the drama that I was inadvertently drawn to and now realise that it’s not mine to “own”. Now I just need to figure out how to accept that I don’t know what the future holds, and have faith that what will be will be. And try to deal with where my heart lies.

    Not going near the Blue Devil Hoochie Juice!

  29. All the astro says i have a wondrous next 12 months happening, so why is it i just want to sleep til 2014. Setting up wireless today so as to move ‘office’ to bedroom. Sheesh only 2 more months to Spring….zzzzzzz.
    What’s IBID, it’s on most or every book. Guess i’m a retard too :-)
    I Belong in Darwin (for Winters)?

  30. I seemed to have transcended pass – agg and have found garden variety agg. I am one very angry capricorn of late – how the fxxk do I clear this?

    Lots of love but get out of my fxxking way – so confused….

    • I hear you. Last night I was muttering “Where the f is the garlic naan in this place?” All the bloody bread should be in the same spot, it’s not rocket science….it’s grocery shopping.
      I reckon I should have a tshirt that says “I am a cardinal, get the f out off my way.”

      • Hahaha…. Love it!! :) ah, so it’s a cardinal thing. (Cap asc). Thought it was my moon in Saggo.

        If I want to get from A to B (and I don’t meander or stroll) and someone’s in my way my blood starts boiling. Especially on escalators.

        People, if you don’t want to walk up or down them then please step to the left and get the fuq outta my way!!”

        • Thanks for the support Scorpbot, perhaps we need a 12 Step Style Support/Poncho Group. As I am talI I can’t walk slowly, it’s not natural for me. People standing on the back of my shoes, all dazed by the shop fit outs or such crap = boils thy blood in an instant.
          *I think if Roxette’s Joyride was played while on escalators, these slow mos would be “off like a frog in a sock”. *Please note: this comment doesn’t apply to mobility, disabled or elderly persons in the community.
          Other piss me off points of sting in thy tail: Mobile phones while driving, pretty sure you won’t be able to update your BookwithFace status from beyond the grave. Cars without indicators: hummm where is the factory recall on these faulty cars?
          *Packing away soapbox with vented spleen, for next time*

            • Maybe a bumper sticker is in the pipeline: “I could afford standard indicators so went with the ESP ones.”
              I live on Gold Coast, so all forms of fwit live or visit here. Pitstop of pain in the arse. Get well soon Calypso, think I’ve got the second wave of winter flu.

          • Well, I’m petite – 5’1″ but move like a little rocket.
            My pet peeve is people who talk on their phones while being served at the counter. I just find it incredibly rude and arrogant! Finish your call THEN make your purchase!! Grrr!

            Gotta go! *beep beep*… *Roadrunner zooms off in a puff of smoke* :D

  31. Over the hippie schizz already and it’s done me good but right now it’s about working my Cappy moon. Realistic, working boundaries like it’s a light martial art, got out the screwdriver and took apart a complicated shite Ikea dresser which I did not buy in the first place and will be giving away.

    I would like to talk about thread count and cinema right now and fine bone china and getting romanced by the most fun, smart, joyful man in the universe who is getting ready to meet me someday soon by buying a nice poignant cologne who will be impressed by my taking apart complicated dresser skills.

    And hey how did those chicks get their own tv show ? Will people watch any-thing ?

    • I am with you about the TV show, is it Real Housewives? It looks like them. The only person I know who watches that is my crazy Libran gay artist friend!!

  32. I have heard that Merc retrograde is not so bad for people with natal retro-Merc. I have found it fine so far – one delayed PhD Supervisor meeting (yay!) and great hair :). Let’s see how the weekend goes!

    I love Ibid.

    • Congratulations on the great hair.
      Sometimes people don’t realize…
      I went to a woman’s event and starting talking hair with someone, (the humidity was nuts and is all summer here) and I got some dirty looks from a woman putting on the event, who I did not believe for one second was a fulfilled human.

      And her hair was not good.

  33. I don’t care about Merc Retro. Being
    Merc in Cancer is a bit like having Merc Retro anyway:
    *Off with fairies
    *Re-visits past frequently
    *Usually needs time to consider things
    *Poetic nuance appreciated
    *Historical approach
    *Makes mistakes when rushed

    Same same like normal for me! 8O

  34. Wow, “retarded”?! Ironically I was only familiar with the in-text referencing system circa age 20 until probably after I graduated and therefore it took me a little while to twig that ibid. Meant the preceding source in the footnotes.

    I am actually really liking the katakan energy. I have a water shortage (boom tish) in my chart so when it’s pumped up (lol) I feel more in-tune and human. feels more piscean than the gemini 12th-house / asc pile up last month. Need peace, serenity, social skills, and kataka is delivering. Thank you .

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